Need You Now | By : djserani Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3670 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto and I make no money from it! |
Raido stumbled across the bar and fell into the chair next to Genma at the Krooked Kunai, sulking. Genma turned to his best friend, raising his eyebrows. "Something on your mind?"
"Quite." Raido said, a slur to his voice.
"How many of those have you had?" Genma asked, pointing at the half-full glass in front of his friend.
"Um." He led up a hand and started counting fingers. "I have no idea," he said, upending the glass.
"Okay. Why are you drunk?" Genma glanced at Anju who took the hint and moved over to another table with her friends.
"Because I just realized that I don't love Ruka." He said, frowning into the now-empty glass in front of him.
Genma blinked. "You don't?"
Raido shook his head, a little too vigorously. "Ouch." He said, holding it still. "No. I don't. Or, well, I mean, I do. Did. Do. But not really. Know what I mean?"
"Not in the least." Genma took the glass from in front of his friend and waved the waitress over. "Water, please," he said to her and she nodded. "Let's take this slow. What happened?"
"I went to see him yesterday." He looked around for something, but apparently not seeing it, gave up and refocused on his friend. The waitress came back with the water and Genma handed it to him. "I don't want this, I'll sober up."
"That's the point. You need to. How is he?"
"I don't know. His guard dogs wouldn't let me in." Raido said, frowning into the glass, then, giving up, he took a drink and made a face.
"Guard dogs? What guard dogs?" Genma blinked at his friend.
"Kakashi and Yamato. They were blasting their chakra all over and stopped me at the door." Raido sighed and drank more of his water.
"Okay. So, how does this relate to you not loving, or maybe loving him or not really?"
"I didn't know him, Gen. Not at all. He likes teaching. He wants to do it, not that he does cause he has to." Raido pouted into his water glass.
"How did you come to this conclusion? And why is this significant?" Genma asked.
"Well, they told me. They knew. How do they know and I didn't? We were together for months and I never figured this out? So I realized that maybe I didn't love him, not really." He sighed again. "I mean, 'Ruka's pretty easy to love, even if you don't know that much, but how much did I if I didn't know that much. You know?"
Genma paused and tried to count the 'know's, but gave up. "Um, I think so. That still doesn't explain why you're drunk."
"Oh. That part's easy. I was pissed on myself." He nodded as if that made perfect sense.
His friend just blinked at him. "You're drunk cause you pissed on yourself?"
"No. I pissed at myself." Raido sighed. "You're not listing." He took another drink of his water and made a face again, swaying slightly.
"No, dude, you're the one listing. Look, never mind. So now what?" He took his senbon out and paused to take a drink of his beer.
"Huh?" Raido blinked at him. "Now who what?"
"I swear to God, you are never getting drunk again," Genma said. "Finish the water."
"It tastes funny." Raido said.
"Because it's water. Drink it, dammit." He was losing patience. "What are you going to do now? Are you and Iruka over for sure?"
"Oh. Hell yeah. I pissed him off Saturday night after your party. Called him a slut." He frowned. "Then he did something funny. He shut down like some of the ANBU and other jounin do when they come back from a bad mission." He shook his head. "Anyway, I hurt him. 'swhy I'm drunk. Pissed at myself for hurting him. Didn't deserve that." He drank the rest of his water and considered the glass philosophically. "He kicked me out. I gotta apologize if his guard dogs will let me."
"You might want to reconsider that," Genma said.
"Why?" He scrunched his face up in puzzlement, making his scar look like a lopsided smile.
"At least wait a while. If you hurt him, they're going to be pissed, too. And you tend to lose your temper."
"Oh," Raido nodded. "Yeah, that won't help him will it?"
Genma shook his head. "No, it won't. Entirely aside from it being a bad idea to cross two of the most dangerous shinobi in the village." He sighed. "Come on, you need to go home."
"Not drunk enough." Raido disagreed.
"You're too drunk. Don't make me tie you up in my bedroom," Genma threatened.
"Uh, right. Forgot you're into that shit. I'll go." Raido nodded. "Thanks man."
"What for?"
"For helping me think it through." Raido nodded.
"Um, any time." Genma shook his head. "Let's go."
It took Iruka a few minutes to figure out which ceiling he was looking at. It'd been quite a while since he'd seen his own. There was the hospital, the one in the Sand village, then the lack of one when they'd camped. And this one.
Kakashi and Yamato's. They'd brought him there when he was released from the hospital. They'd threatened to move him physically, so he'd finally given in.
He had no idea what time it was. It was fairly dark in the room. There was a lamp on somewhere, but not much else. And the bed was empty except for him.
He struggled to sit up. "Hey, don't do that. Let me help." Yamato said, coming over to the bed.
Iruka looked over at him. "I…didn't know you were in the room."
He helped the younger man sit up, propping him up with pillows. He dropped a kiss him when he was settled. "I was over on the floor, working on something. How do you feel?"
"Thank you. Well, I told Kakashi in the hospital I felt like I'd been hit by a horde of Naruto's clones." Yamato laughed at that. "Maybe there are a few less, but it still hurts." He tentatively took a breath. "I can breathe a little easier."
"That's good. He's gone to the kitchen to make some dinner." He shook his head. "Don't tell him I told you, but he cooks when he's worried."
"Kakashi cooks?" Iruka blinked at him. "I mean, I knew he could, but like, a lot?"
Yamato nodded. "When I was bed bound, he cooked up more soup than we could eat in a week. He's out there right now, working on something. He's got something on every burner, the counter covered in chopped stuff…"
"Wow. That's… actually kind of… I don't know what to call it. Sweet, I guess." Iruka blushed. "I won't say that around him, though."
Yamato chuckled. "Yeah, I doubt he'd want to be labeled sweet."
Iruka grinned and drew his fingers across his lips like he was zipping them. "Not a word."
The other man laughed. "Can I get you anything? I don't think the food's ready yet, do you want a drink or anything?" Yamato asked.
"Um, crap, I don't have my hairbrush, do I?" Iruka asked.
"Hang on." Yamato disappeared into the bathroom and came back a moment later. Iruka blinked at the object in his hand. "Kakashi picked one up a little while ago. Can I brush it?"
"Sure." Iruka sat forward a little with Yamato's help. He'd brushed it a little back in Suna, but this felt different, more…intimate somehow. And if Raido had been good at it, Yamato was amazing. He barely felt it go through his hair, and he had a way of almost petting him when he did that made him feel good. "That feels sooo good." Iruka nearly moaned.
Yamato stopped. "I don't… um…"
"No no. Not like that. Just, my head itched a bit. And you're touch…" He paused, realizing what he'd said. He blushed, but when Yamato didn't say anything, he continued. "I'm going to have to try to clean up later." He sighed. "That'll be fun."
Yamato went back to brushing. "May I offer a piece of advice for that?"
"Hmm?" Iruka was so focused on what Yamato was doing with the brushing that he lost is train of thought.
"Let one of us help you and just don't fight it."
"Um…" Iruka blushed.
"I nearly punched Kakashi over it." Yamato said, quietly. "When I first came home. He took me into the bathroom to clean up and I almost punched him over my embarrassment. I threw him out, then when I tried to just turn the shower on, it hurt, nearly opening up my back. I sat on the side of the tub to sulk and that's when I realized that that's part of what having a partner is about."
Iruka sighed. "Yeah, um, but…" He paused and swallowed. "Aw hell. You're not my partners."
Yamato nodded at that. "I figured you were thinking something like that." He paused in his brushing and Iruka turned to him. The older man moved so that he could be sure their eyes met. He took a deep breath. "We love you. Let us take care of you."
Iruka nearly stopped breathing. He stared at the man in front of him, then swallowed. "I… I love you, too." He probably shouldn't have said it, but they knew he did, they'd said it himself. It was very quiet, he didn't even know if it could be heard at first, but then Yamato leaned in and laid his lips over Iruka's.
The younger man moaned. God, those lips felt so good. He put his hand up, cupping the older man's cheek and responded to the kiss. It was soft, not heated, but there was a world of meaning behind it.
"None of that yet. He just got home today." Kakashi's voice broke through.
They pulled back, and Yamato sent a glare at the copy nin. "I was just kissing him."
"Kissing leads to more." Kakashi was standing at the end of the bed with a tray. Iruka's eyes widened. On it was a large bowl with what looked like homemade ramen.
"Did you really…is that?" Iruka nearly drooled.
Kakashi grinned. "Ramen."
"Oh my god, I love you." Iruka nearly wept.
Kakashi laughed. "All I had to do all this time was make him ramen? Geez, if I'd known that…" He set the tray on the bed, then sat carefully next to him, leaning in to give him a kiss.
"Hey, not fair, you just yelled at me for that," Yamato complained.
Kakashi rolled his eyes. "It was just a…" he wisely stopped there and turned back to Iruka. "How are you feeling?"
It took him a second to breathe again after the kiss. "The horde has been reduced a bit, but my chest still hurts like hell." He pulled the bowl close to him and sniffed. "Oh god, this smells so good." He picked up the chopsticks and dug in.
"I know where his priorities are," the copy nin chuckled.
"For now, they're in my stomach. Oh god, this is good." Iruka moaned quietly as he took another bite and Kakashi chuckled.
"Where's my ramen?" Yamato asked, pouting.
"In the kitchen. You can get your own. You're not injured or sick," Kakashi said, pausing to give him a kiss too to take the sting out of his words. They lost themselves in it a moment and Iruka watched out of the corner of his eye. When they broke apart, they turned back to Iruka.
Yamato laughed. "Fine. I'll be back."
Kakashi watched Iruka eat for a moment. Then he brushed his hair back a little, leaned in and laid a soft kiss next to his ear. "I love you, too."
He was going to end up with a heart attack if they kept doing things like that. He nearly choked on his noodles. He barely managed to swallow them, then set his chopsticks down carefully before looking over at the copy nin.
"Why am I here?" Iruka asked him. That wasn't what he wanted to ask, but he'd looked at that face again, at the look in his eyes and his mind had stopped working again.
"Because you're injured and we want to take care of you?" Kakashi asked, blinking.
"Um, no, I mean…" he sighed in frustration. "Why here? I get wanting to help me and all that, but couldn't you have just brought me soup at my apartment? This… I'm taking up your bed, I…," his mouth snapped closed, his eyes following suit. Why was he arguing this? Why was he so confused? They brought him there to take care of him, it was that simple. What was so wrong with that? He took a breath, opening his eyes again. "Never mind, thank you. I do, you know."
"Do?" Kakashi tilted his head a little, raising an eyebrow.
Iruka swallowed. "I love you."
Kakashi smiled. "I know. You're welcome. Eat," he said, dropping a kiss on Iruka's cheek. "I'm going to go get my own."
Yamato brought in a bowl then and set it on the bedside table. Then, to Iruka's surprise, created a small table and two chairs with his wood release technique. Kakashi brought his own bowl in a moment later and they sat down to eat with him next to the bed. Iruka stared, stunned.
"What? They're kind of quick, not my usual stuff." He frowned down at the table.
"No. Um, I've never seen you do that before."
"Oh. Yeah, you should have seen me do this bedroom. Took me all day and I almost ran out of chakra on the bed. But it was the one requirement Kakashi had for moving in." Yamato picked up his chopsticks.
"I was kidding about that." Kakashi said around his own noodles.
"I figured you were serious. Well, you broke my old bed, anyway." Yamato took a bite of the pork.
"No I didn't. You did."
"You cracked the headboard first." He turned to Iruka, "snapped one of the slats, had a big crack down the center. Then the next morning, he surprised me, waking me up with his mouth on me and expects me not to break something that's already cracked?" He shook his head.
Iruka was fighting laughter. "You two are so funny together." And so good. God, I don't want to fuck that up. He shoved the thoughts away. He went back to his ramen, lifted his bowl and drank down his broth, then set it aside. He shifted a little, wincing as he did.
"Don't move. Do you need something?" Kakashi asked.
Iruka blushed bright red. "Um, I have to get to the bathroom."
Yamato stood up. "Let me help."
Once he was up, it wasn't too bad. He could walk just fine, he just jarred himself and his bruises if he wasn't careful. Yamato waited for him outside the bathroom and Iruka was glad he didn't need help with that. By the time he got back to the bed, he was tired again. "Ugh. I was only out for a couple of days, I shouldn't be this tired."
"You're body's using up its chakra and energy to heal you. Give yourself a break." Kakashi said. He helped Yamato get him settled again.
Iruka sighed. "Thank you."
"Get a bit of rest. We'll be back in a few." Yamato gathered the dishes and headed out, followed by Kakashi.
Iruka watched them go, then stared back at the ceiling. Dinner. Just one dinner in their home and as an invalid and it had been so nice. He swallowed. They'd told him they loved him. He'd said it back. They were taking care of him. It was so much more than he had ever expected.
So why was it suddenly not enough?
He knew the answer to that and cursed himself for his selfishness. He wanted the whole thing. He wanted to wake up with them every morning, share chores, eat dinner with them, at least when they were home. He wanted to be a partner with them.
He really was seriously fucked up. Because despite all they were giving him, he wanted more. And with that awful thought in his head, he fell asleep.
His naps were getting shorter. He was glad of that because he didn't want to miss any time with them. He couldn't have been asleep more than a couple of hours because Kakashi was sitting up next to him reading.
"Hi." He set the book aside. "Sleep well?"
"Like the…um, like a baby." He shifted and Kakashi helped him sit up. As he did, he got a whiff of himself and made a face. "Ewww, I smell. How can you be near me?"
Kakashi chuckled. "It's not that bad. Do you want to try to get cleaned up?"
Iruka paused, thinking about what Yamato had said earlier. "Yeah, I guess." He frowned.
Yamato came in, then. "Hey, he's up. What's going on?"
"We're going to try to get him cleaned up." Kakashi said and Yamato went straight into the bathroom. Iruka heard the water running.
He valiantly fought the embarrassment. When they got him into the bathroom, he met Yamato's gaze for a moment, then nodded. "Let's get this over with," he said quietly.
They worked quickly together in the way longtime teammates do and before Iruka really had much chance to be embarrassed, he was clean, his hair was washed and he was back on the bed with Yamato brushing it again while Kakashi cleaned up the bathroom.
"You're going to spoil me with that," Iruka said, trying not to moan.
Yamato chuckled. "You could stand to be spoiled a little. But it spoils me, too."
"How's that?" Iruka asked, looking over his shoulder.
"Don't do that, I can't brush it if you keep moving your head."
"Sorry." Iruka said, blushing.
"I love doing this." He leaned closer to the younger man. "I used to wonder what your hair looked like down. When I saw it at the party, I nearly attacked you then." He chuckled. "Then after seeing it, I couldn't stop wondering what it would smell like or feel like."
Iruka swallowed hard. "I wondered about yours, if it was as soft as it looked."
Yamato paused in surprise. "Really? I don't think about it all that much. It's just… there, you know," he said as he went back to brushing.
"Yeah, um, in fact, that first night back with Raido, I, um…" he stuttered to a stop. He was not about to tell him that. No. No. Just…no.
"What?" Yamato asked.
But Iruka was bright red and just shook his head. "Never mind."
Yamato moved around to face the younger man. "What? You can tell me."
Iruka sighed, then winced at the deep breath. It helped him calm down a little. He swallowed. "I almost called your name."
Yamato blinked at him. "Really?"
The younger man's color had come back, staining his cheeks a bright red. He nodded. "Yes. His hair is about the same length. Same color, kind of spiky, and I found myself wondering if they were the same. If yours felt like his did. I stopped myself from saying your name just in time." He shook his head, staring at the blankets, swallowing hard.
"Wow. That's…" Yamato stopped, and Iruka looked up. The older man stared at him for a moment, then his lips crashed into Iruka's.
The teacher moaned at the feel. He'd been jarred a little bit, but he just couldn't care. He pushed his fingers into the older man's hair, savoring the feel of it again. Their lips moved over each other's, nibbling, nipping, then tongues battled again. When they finally broke apart, it took him a moment to catch his breath.
"Sorry, I forgot about your ribs for a moment there." Yamato said, blushing.
"I really don't care." He stared at him. "For the record? Yours is softer. Much nicer."
Yamato smiled. "I'm glad you think so." He moved back around and started brushing his hair again. "It's better than I imagined."
Iruka had lost his concentration again. "What is?"
"Your hair." Yamato buried his face in it. "I could stay here for hours, I swear," he whispered.
Iruka blushed. "What did I tell you two about making out? Am I going to have to make you sleep on the couch?" Kakashi asked.
Yamato inhaled once more before sitting back up. "No. I was just brushing his hair."
"That was not brushing. Your face was buried in it. You can't brush his hair if you're face is that close," the copy nin pointed out.
"I couldn't resist. And we did kiss, but he's fine. Oh, we need to get his shampoo. The citrus stuff smells so much better on him than ours does."
"I'll get some at the store when I go."
Iruka blinked again, surprised at them once more. "You don't have to do that." Iruka said. "I have some at my apartment."
Kakashi shrugged. "You'd run out of that eventually, anyway."
Iruka sighed, but didn't say anything because right then, he started yawning again. "Ugh. I just took a bath, for pete's sake."
"Injured, remember?" Kakashi reminded him, and Iruka nodded.
"Yeah." He sighed again. "I don't have to like it."
"Well, I think he's done," Yamato stood up and Iruka shifted around enough to lay back.
"I'm going to be so glad to be out of bed." He sighed. "Well, glad to not be injured anymore," he corrected at the looks on their faces, fighting a smile.
The set up on either side of him again and as he fell asleep, he felt both of them get close enough to touch him.
It was the same thing for the next couple of days. Kakashi cooked like crazy, Yamato wouldn't go far at all. Iruka would have gone insane if he wasn't so glad to just be near them. He did stop to ask them about missions, but Kakashi told him that he'd simply requested they get a couple of days since the big mission had been solved and Iruka didn't push. He was too happy to have them around.
By the end of the second day, he could walk without jarring himself too badly and so he left the bedroom as much as possible. They wouldn't let him do anything, but he at least had a change of scenery. There was a sticky few minutes when he realized he had no clothes. He'd tried to tell them to take him home then, but they'd refused. Apparently he and Yamato wore the same size, so the other man simply gave him some of his, effectively ending that discussion.
He saw the statue Yamato had told him about and spent a long time studying it. "This is incredible," he said when Kakashi came up to him. Iruka twisted this way and that to look at it.
"I think so. He's very talented." Kakashi said.
"He is. The detail is just astounding." He leaned closer. "You can even see the dogs' fur, your hair, you can almost see the leaves falling…" He shook his head. "Maybe he's wasting his talent as a ninja." Iruka chuckled.
Yamato cleared his throat behind them and when they turned around, he was blushing. "Um, thank you, but I'll stick to throwing kunai and summoning tree branches."
Iruka laughed. "Well, if you decided to give it up, I somehow doubt you'd be a starving artist."
Yamato shook his head. "You're full of it."
"Am not." Iruka said. "It's beautiful. Kakashi knows. He'll agree with how good you are."
"Well, that's true. You are. Now, how about we play that game of cards?" Kakashi asked before it could devolve further.
By the third day, he wondered when they were going to send him home. He really had no reason to still be there. He could do for himself.
Bathing was much better now that he could shower, though at least one of them still got in with him. Iruka had a feeling it was mostly an excuse, but he couldn't really mind. If they wanted to be close to him, and he certainly wanted to be close to them, he wasn't going to argue it.
He wouldn't be cooking any complicated meals, but he didn't need to. He could live just fine on instant ramen for a while. He'd done so many times before.
But they made no moves, no comments about him going home. And the one time he mentioned being better, that he could probably go home, all they said was, "good, keep getting better, we still want to take care of you." Then they both kissed him until his mind went blank and he had no way to argue with them when they did that. Not that he really wanted to.
Later on the third day, he got a surprise. He was sitting in the living room with them, tucked carefully against Kakashi's side, his feet propped on Yamato reading Icha Icha Tactics when someone knocked. He could not mistake the chakra signature. Kakashi and Yamato both looked at him. "Raido?" Yamato asked and Iruka nodded.
Iruka swallowed. "It's your house. But, I doubt he's here to really cause trouble."
"Hmph." That's all Yamato said to that then he opened the door.
"Yamato-san." Raido said, sounding…nervous?
Iruka stood up and glanced at Kakashi. He didn't look too happy, but he didn't say anything, just pulled up his mask. Iruka paused to squeeze Kakashi's hand.
"Can I help you?" Yamato asked.
"I… I'd just like to talk to Ruka for a minute, if I could."
Iruka went over to the door. Yamato glanced at him, sent a glare Raido's way, then paused to give him a very slow, very deliberate kiss before stepping back.
"Hi, Ruka." Raido said, staring at him.
Iruka looked up at Raido and swallowed. "Hi…Rai…do." He cursed himself for the stutter. Raido nodded, expecting the full name.
"Hi, um, I…." He glanced over at Kakashi and Yamato, who were both sitting on the couch watching them, twin scowls on their faces, even if Kakashi's could only be seen through his one visible eye, it was obvious. "I, um, shit, can we talk alone a minute?"
Yamato stood up, but Iruka just held a hand out to him and smiled at him. "It's okay. We'll step outside," he said and walked out onto their tiny porch. "What's this about, Raido?" He made a point of broadcasting his chakra so the other two wouldn't worry too much.
"I wanted to apologize." Raido said, leaning against the railing.
Iruka blinked. "Apologize?"
Raido nodded and scratched the back of his head. "I said some rotten things. Things you didn't deserve."
"Raido…" Iruka started. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear this. Maybe seeing him wasn't such a great idea.
"No, hear me out, please? I also realized you were right about a something else." He swallowed. "I cared…care… for you, but we weren't in love, Ruka. I just figured that out. I loved the idea of us. But.. it wasn't really you as much as it was the idea."
Ouch. It shouldn't hurt, but it did. Iruka had already come to the same conclusion, but hearing it out loud and directed at him was definitely worse. He took a deep breath and winced. The bruises were still healing. "Are you okay?" Raido looked alarmed.
"I'm fine. The bruising just hurts still." He swallowed to get a hold of himself and looked back up at Raido's face. "I said some things, too, that I shouldn't have." He frowned. "I let my anger get away from me, Rai. I'm sorry."
But Raido was shaking his head. "No, you were right. You have nothing to apologize for." He reached out to touch Iruka's face.
Iruka closed his eyes briefly. Nothing. He didn't feel anything. He sighed. "We shouldn't have gotten back together, especially as fucked up as I was over them," Iruka motioned toward the house. "That wasn't right to you."
Raido considered him for a moment. "The thing is, I might not have been fucked up over someone else, but we kind of both used each other. It happened, and I'll admit that I did like having you back in bed with me." He smiled at that and Iruka chuckled.
"That was never a problem between us, was it?" He asked and Raido shook his head.
"God, you're easy to care for, Ruka, even love to a point. But we didn't love each other, not like we should have. It just wasn't there and we both knew it. I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry for the things I said."
"It's… okay, Rai. I'm sorry, too." He put his hand out, touching Raido's good cheek.
Raido pulled him in for a gentle hug. "Take care, Iruka," he whispered.
"Take care, Raido." He placed a light kiss on his cheek and stepped back. Raido waved and stepped off the porch. When he got to the end of the block, he turned around and waved again.
Iruka waved and realized that he felt a lot better. It didn't solve the question of the other two. It didn't tell him any more about what they wanted with him or what he might have with them, but at least he didn't have to worry about hurting someone else with it, too.
The door opened again and Yamato and Kakashi stepped out. "You okay?" Kakashi put his arms around Iruka.
"Yeah. He… apologized." He took a deep breath. "Admitted he never really loved me."
"Ouch," Yamato said, wincing.
"I have to admit, that hurt me. But the truth is, I never really loved him, either. The whole damned time we were together. Neither of us really did." He sighed. "Well, that's… over. And it actually feels good, if you can believe that."
"Yeah, I can." Kakashi dropped a kiss on his cheek and Iruka closed his eyes briefly. That touch held everything. "Let's go back in. You should probably rest a bit more." Yamato reached out and took his hand and Iruka swallowed at how good that simple touch felt.
There was no doubt he felt for them. Felt everything he never did for Raido. He took a deep breath that spread into a yawn.
"Yup. Definitely needs a nap. Hmm. I'm feeling the need for one, too." Yamato said, chuckling.
"Me, too." Kakashi said.
Iruka laughed. But a few minutes later when they settled into bed, he had to admit it felt really good when they snuggled up next to him, each with an arm around him. As he fell asleep, he didn't feel quite so messed up anymore.
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