Dirty Little Secret

CHAPTER 24



Kakashi went back to work four days later. He was still painfully sore all over and each step was an agony, but at least people didn’t ask him why he was limping – everyone thought that it was because of the knee.



The way Naruto treated him had changed subtly during that time - he stopped treating him more like a human and began treating him like he would an animal, giving him short, sharp commands and expecting them to be followed to the letter. Still, when he was pleased, he was more than generous with his affection, so Kakashi didn’t really mind the new arrangement, he felt almost grateful for it – when he was that tightly controlled, the chance to screw up and disappoint his Master lessened considerably.



Still, when they were at the office they acted as a Hokage and his assistant, at least when there were witnesses around or when they were busy with reviewing and writing documents. If the visitors noticed that the older man sitting next to their Hokage had become quieter and rarely lifted his eyes to look at anyone who entered the office they didn’t comment on it. Naruto appeared to be pleased by Kakashi’s behaviour – other than his changed attitude towards Kakashi, he had also become rather jealous and at times irrationally possessive. He punished the older man more than once for perceived transgressions until Kakashi became afraid to even aknowledge other people’s presence.



In fact, despite Naruto’s controlling nature, or perhaps because of it, the amount of punishment began to increase for all sorts of offenses – it seemed that Kakashi always had to nurse bruises and cuts. He had no problem hiding those – he was used to wearing long-sleeved turtlenecks and Naruto appeared to be careful to never hit his face.



The periods of abuse were interspersed with brief time of kindness, the blonde paying close attention to him, acting kind and gentle and loving, doting on him, even. Kakashi began to live for those occasions, constantly looking forward to them even when he was barely able to walk from the rough sex the previous night.



Gai did not appear in Naruto’s office for almost three months – it appeared that the Hokage had sent him on a long mission during Kakashi’s absence. When he finally showed up, he looked much better than he had the previous time, if tired. All the while he handed his report, both written and verbal, his eyes strayed to Kakashi’s bowed head – the assistant was studiously examining a letter from Gaara saying that all the Kages had finally agreed to meet at Konoha and would arrive there the next Tuesday – not once looking up to meet his friend’s gaze. By the time Gai was done, Kakashi had read the letter twelve times. Naruto thanked Gai and bid him goodbye. The man sent Kakashi one last disappointed look and left.

Little did Kakashi expect to meet Gai the next day as he made his grocery shopping. He was carrying a full, heavy bag when a pair of strong hands reached out for him to grab him, and, despite the fact that he hadn’t been able to train in quite a while, he still managed to jump away from them – such reactions had become a second nature.



“Excellent reactions, my Rival!” Gai exclaimed and came out of the dark alley he had been hiding before that.



Kakashi stared at him for a moment, then looked down, turned and hurried away. Or tried to, because Gai quickly caught up to him.



“Kakashi.” He began, his voice much more serious. “Aren’t you at least going to say Hello to your old friend?”



“Hello.” Kakashi muttered and tried to leave again. Gai moved to stand in his path.



“Gai, I am in a hurry.” Kakashi said, looking urgent.



“You weren’t in a hurry before I showed up.” Gai noted and continued “You have been ignoring me lately. You have been ignoring everyone.”



“That is not true.” Kakashi insisted, but he wouldn’t look at him.



“Of course it is, Kakashi. People might think that I dress like an idiot, it doesn’t mean that I am one.” Gai pointed out and reached to put his hand on Kakashi’s shoulder. The other man took a step back.



“Kakashi, what’s wrong?” Gai asked and looked at him imploringly, dark eyes sad and worried.



“Nothing is wrong!” Kakashi said sharply. “I just need to go…”



“He has been hurting you, hasn’t he?”



“What? No!” Kakashi exclaimed.



“Come now, I told you, I am not an idiot. You have been avoiding looking at anyone in the eyes, but you are jumping when Naruto says frog, and most of all, you limp more than you did after you came out of the hospital. And I can see that the limp doesn’t start at your knee, Kakashi!”



He did look up at Gai to glare at him.



“I am perfectly fine, Gai.” He stated seriously. “I am happy with Naruto-sama. Is that so hard to believe?”



“Yes!” was the emphatic answer.



Kakashi’s glare intensified.



“Well, I am. I am happy, and content. He is looking after me and I love him. Why can’t you understand that?” he challenged, then his eyes suddenly narrowed suspiciously. “Or is it that you understand it but you can’t accept you. Are you jealous?”



“Kakashi, what the…?”



“I gave Naruto what I denied you!”



“That was years ago!”



“So? You haven’t stopped chasing after me, making a nuisance of yourself all this time! I don’t want you, Gai. I don’t love you. I don’t want to be with you!”



“Kakashi, whatever feelings I had for you once, they have long transformed into a honest friendship. And as a friend, I am concerned for your well-being!” Gai tried to explain.



“If you are really my friend, you will leave me and my relationship with the Hokage-sama alone.” Kakashi stated.



“I don’t think that…”



“You will leave us alone!” Kakashi roared and the other man jumped, not expecting such a reaction from his usually soft-spoken friend. “I have never wanted your friendship to begin with! I tolerated you at best, because I felt too lazy to attempt to chase you away, but my patience is at an end!”



That hurt. It really, really hurt. Gai’s expression became guarded and he drew himself up, going rigid with tension.



“If that is what you want, Kakashi-san, then very well, I will leave you alone. However, when you realize the mistake you have made with the Hokage, don’t come knocking to my door to help you. I won’t.”



And with that, Gai turned on his heel and stalked down the street, back ramrod straight and chin held high.



Kakashi watched after him and felt his knees going weak. What had he done?



Swallowing, he turned around and continued walking home, trying to convince himself this was better – for himself, because he didn’t want to disappoint Naruto-sama again, and for Gai, because he was sure that Naruto wouldn’t tolerate further interference by the other man for much longer.