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Denial	By : djserani Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female > Kakashi/Sakura Views: 4298 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: As always, I don't own the world or characters, I just like to torment them. Kishimoto-sensei gets to keep them permanently. (I make no money from it!)

Chapter List
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She stayed late, trying to keep herself from thinking. She'd taken on a couple of extra patients to fill in the time. So, she was still in her office later that night working on paperwork when she couldn't stand it anymore.

She headed down the hall to the lab. Looking each direction, she grabbed a cup and hurried into the bathroom. A few minutes later, she stepped into the lab and, making sure no one was around, locked the door behind her.

She set the little cup on the counter and stared at it. It was ridiculous. Not possible. She'd been very very careful. Rolling her eyes at herself, get grabbed the things she needed and started the test.

Then paced.

She paused at one point and considered simply checking herself with her medical technique, but decided against it. This would, for better or worse, be more accurate. And she wanted accurate. She needed to be really, really sure about this.

She shoved the thoughts aside and paced some more.

It would only take a few minutes, she knew that, but somehow the three minutes seemed to take forever. She kept telling herself it wasn't possible. She had taken the precautions. But she snorted to herself. How many babies did she deliver that were still conceived after precautions had been taken?

About one in fifty. Because nothing was perfect. She sighed again.

The three minutes were up, but now that they were, she wasn't sure she wanted to face the answer. She did a couple more laps back and forth in the lab before finally screwing her courage up and turning back to the test.

She stared down at the little strip and swallowed hard. It had to be wrong. That was the first thing she thought. It had to be wrong. So she did it again.

Three minutes later, she got the same answer.

Sakura left the lab another ten minutes after that, having run the test three more times, all with the same results. Five tests total.

Forget complicated. Things just got downright impossible.

* * *

She ditched the paperwork and headed home, which was his apartment. She'd been thinking of it as such more than her own, but maybe that was just because it had all his things in it. She changed out of her clothes and into his shirt and curled up on the bed for a while, just looking at their team picture.

What the hell was she going to do now? She knew there were ways of getting rid of a baby, but there was no way she could do something like that. Wouldn't want to.

If it looked like her, at least, then she could refuse to name the father. But that had its own horribleness to it and then the baby would have to grow up not knowing who their father was. Or only see him part time. That wasn't going to work, either.

She didn't know she was crying until she saw the tears land on the picture. She wiped them away with his sleeve and set the frame back on the shelf. She curled up into a ball on his pillow and let the tears fall.

Before anything else happened, she would have to tell him. He'd notice the changes in her body soon enough. And as she lay there, she realized she was terrified of what he would say. She didn't notice when she fell asleep.

* * *

He was exhausted. He hadn't even stopped to rest after leaving the merchant at the village. He'd turned right around and started back within minutes. He saw the light on in the bedroom and sent up a prayer of thanks that she was there. He didn't bother taking the stairs. He leapt straight to the roof and slipped into the window.

He stopped to stare when he saw her in a ball on the bed. She had his shirt on and, as far as he could tell, nothing else. And despite the exhaustion, he felt himself stir. Then he noticed her face. She'd been crying and he frowned. He'd missed her, insanely, but it hadn't been that long.

He dropped his pack then divested himself of his gloves, vest, sandals and headband. Then he moved the mask aside and sat on the side of the bed. He ran his hand over her hair gently, then down her face. "Sakura."

Her eyes opened and he couldn't help but feel incredible at the joy that filled them when she registered what she was seeing. "Kakashi!" She nearly shouted it and launched herself at him.

He caught her, laughing, and then their lips crashed together. It took them about a minute flat to be naked. He wanted to taste her, wanted to feel her, but they were both too desperate. He was inside her then and it didn't matter.

It lasted less than ten minutes. They were both gasping, trying to breathe, unable to calm down at first. "Wow." She said, still out of breath.

He chuckled. "You can say that again."

"Wow." Then her face split into a grin. "How can two days feel so ridiculously long?"

He shook his head. "I have no idea. I missed you, too."

She laughed. But then her smile faded. "I have something to tell you."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow and waited. If it was this serious, it couldn't be good.

* * *

She pushed on him, needing to be up, moving. He let her go and she pulled his shirt back on. She stood up and stared at him a moment, then began pacing the room.

She felt her stomach drop, her heart start to beat faster. She swallowed, trying desperately to think of a way to say this, but nothing came to her. She did another lap of the room and noticed that he just laid there patiently, watching her as she paced, his head following the path.

There was nothing for it. There was no way to cushion the blow. "Um." She swallowed again, took a deep breath and paused, mid-step. She stared at him for a moment, then turned and continued her trip across the small bedroom.

She didn't realize she had the corner of his shirt in her hand and was twisting it into a completely unrecognizable lump of fabric. She didn't see the terror on her face or the fact that if she didn't do something, she was likely to really gnaw a hole through her lip.

Then he was standing in front of her and he wrapped his arms around her. "Sakura," he said and tilted her face up to him. "Tell me."

She couldn't read his expression, didn't know what he was thinking. She swallowed again, closed her eyes and said it. "I'm pregnant."

* * *

Whatever it was he'd expected her to say, that was most definitely not it. He thought perhaps that someone had guessed about them or that maybe she'd even been confronted by Tsunade herself. He'd even been a little afraid that she'd maybe decided to stop seeing him, though he didn't think she would have stopped to make love to him first.

"Pregnant?" He just stared at her, his brain not quite registering what she was saying. "Are you sure?"

"Unfortunately. I did the test five times." She wouldn't look at him and it finally got through that she was terrified. Of him. And his reaction.

He couldn't come up with a single coherent thing to say, so he pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her. A baby. He'd never thought it would happen for him. He'd convinced himself that it was just not in his reach. And now he was going to be a father. With Sakura.

"Wow." He chuckled. "Okay, that was� eloquent. Um�" he pulled back and knelt down in front of her, putting himself level with her belly. He leaned forward and kissed it. "How long? How far along are we?"

* * *

She just stared at the top of his head. He wasn't freaking out. Maybe it just hadn't sunk in yet for him what it would mean. Then the last thing he'd said got through to her. How far along are we? She didn't miss the 'we' part. "I�don't know for sure. I think maybe five weeks or so. It could be as much as seven, though. I�had my period the week before you started coming to me every night."

"Seven weeks." Then he looked up at her and he couldn't keep the grin from his face.

"Kakashi�" she stared, at a loss. "You know what this means, right?"

He picked her up and carried her over to the bed, and settled her into his lap. "Pretend I'm Naruto and explain it to me."

She just shook her head. "Kakashi, I can deny who the father is, but what if the baby comes out with silver hair?"

He looked thoughtful. "Hmm. I'd say that would be okay as long as they still had green eyes." He looked back at her. "And why would you deny who the father of the baby is?"

She closed her eyes, tempted to knock her head against the wall. "Any hope of secrecy is gone if it's obvious that the baby is yours."

"Ah." He said, nodding. "I can see how that might be difficult, yes." She opened her eyes and stared at him again.

"So?" She said, wondering if maybe he'd lost his marbles somewhere on the mission.

"So?" He repeated.

She closed her eyes again and this time, she did smack her head against the wall. "Don't do that! It might hurt the baby."

She raised an eyebrow. "How on earth would me banging my head against the wall hurt the baby?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I thought if I said that, you might stop." He grinned again.

"You know, I think my elevated blood pressure is going to cause more problems. Be serious for a minute!"

"I am, Sakura. I think the answer here is very simple."

She sighed, "then pretend I'm Naruto and explain it to me."

"Our hand has been forced." He said, the smile fading. "We're going to have to take our chances and tell Tsunade. Either she's going to discipline us or she isn't, but we'll simply have to get married. I won't let you go through this pregnancy alone, and I won't allow you to deny me as our baby's father."

She swallowed. "But�if we get expelled�"

"I don't know what we'll do. We'll figure something out, but being apart is not an option." He leaned down and placed his lips on hers gently. When he sat back, he considered her. "I didn't stop to think, I know that the ninja life is all you know. Do you�" he swallowed, "want the baby?"

Sakura stared at him a moment, then realized what he was saying. "Oh! Kakashi, if the situation were different - if the rule wasn't in place, I'd be ecstatic. I'm just worried. Of course I want the baby." She looked down at her belly and put her hands over it. "Especially yours."

He breathed a small sigh of relief, then frowned. "I'm� sorry. Regardless of how Tsunade reacts, this changes your career. Even if you stay a ninja, things will be different, at least for a while."

"I'm not worried about that part of it. I can still work at the hospital until the end. And there are options for care if we both get sent out after the baby's born. If, of course, we get to stay shinobi." She stared up at him. "I want you to know that I did try not to. I�wouldn't have deliberately put us in this position. Or our baby."

He smiled. "I know that, Sakura." He sighed. "Well, I suppose we go talk to her tomorrow."

"So soon?" She asked.

"Why wait? It's not going to change anything." He shrugged one shoulder.

She sighed. "You're right. Well, then. Um, welcome home?"

He laughed. "Just don't welcome me home like this every time?"

"No, I think this will be a rare occurrence." She laughed, then noticed the look in his eye. "Oh my. You know, it is still kind of early�" she leaned up to him, then sniffled. "Eww. No. Sorry. Shower first."

He laughed. "Okay. As long as you go with me."

* * *

The next morning, Sakura was so nervous, she couldn't even zip her shirt without help. Kakashi simply moved her hands aside and did it for her. He'd basically dressed her completely himself.

Finally, they were ready. He pulled her up to him and kissed her thoroughly. When they broke apart, she stared at him. "How can you be so calm?"

He thought it over a minute as he adjusted her shirt. "Because you're not?" When she growled, he chuckled. "It's not going to change what happens. Tsunade will do what she thinks is best. Besides, I've decided I'll just have to take over for Master Jiraiya if she expels us. I think I could handle it."

She raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out if he was being serious. Then she laughed. "You're kidding, right?"

"Why? I could write almost as well as him." He grinned, then. "I could give it a shot, anyway. You definitely give me enough material to draw from."

She blushed. "Well. Um. I was thinking, too. I might not be an actual medical nin, but they might still let me work at the hospital. It would be something." She couldn't look at him.

He tilted her face up to him. "We'll figure it out. I have some money saved, so we won't go hungry or anything for a while. We just might need to make it a smaller wedding."

She smiled faintly. "I'd marry you in the Hokage's office, if that's what it took."

He sighed. "I'd rather not make you do that." He kissed her once more. "Come on, we've put it off long enough."

Sakura took a deep breath. "Okay."

And they left the apartment together.

* * *

Outside of Tsunade's office, they paused once more. He leaned down, lowered the mask and kissed her again thoroughly. Stepping back, she pulled his mask back up and took a deep breath.

Kakashi took her hand and knocked on Tsunade's door. "Come!"

They stepped in and Sakura was happy to see that Tsunade was the only one there. It was hard enough facing just her, she didn't really want to see the censure in Shizune's face, too. Even so, she gripped Kakashi's hand a little tighter. "Shishou."

"Lady Hokage." Kakashi said in greeting.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow at the greeting, but let it go. "I wondered when I'd see you. I have to admit, it's a lot earlier than I thought it would be, though. I haven't even had tea yet." She said mournfully, then picked up her cup and took a drink. She set it down and considered them for a moment, not missing their clasped hands.

They waited as she looked them over, and despite his insistence to Sakura that he wasn't nervous, he was. A little more for her than for him, but it was still there. He might be able to write for Jiraiya, but he wasn't really serious about it. And he still didn't know what else he could do.

There were lesser forms of punishment for breaking the rules - suspension with and without pay, for instance, but the rule they'd broken had been stressed quite a bit. He cleared his throat. "Lady Hokage�" he started, but she interrupted him.

Once, she'd let go. "Good grief, don't start getting so formal now." She rolled her eyes.

"I think, given the situation, it's warranted." He glanced at Sakura, who had a death grip on his hand. He made a mental note to get a solid steel glove to wear for her delivery. He took a deep breath. "We've been seeing each other. For a while now." There, it was out.

"I know it's been at least six and a half weeks, though probably longer." She said and buried the smile as the blood drained from Sakura's face.

"Six and a half weeks?" Sakura asked in shock.

"Yes, give or take. I couldn't be exact with the quick look I took." She said.

Kakashi cleared his throat. "I'm sorry?"

"That's how far along we are." Sakura said, still in a bit of shock. She turned back to Tsunade. "You knew, then?"

Tsunade nodded. "Yes. I've suspected for some time that there was something between you two. I didn't even know why it would be an issue until I consulted with Shizune about it."

Sakura swallowed. "It's against the rules of the ninja corps."

Tsunade sighed. "Technically, yes, it is. Of course, I will say that in your case, it's ridiculous. It was intended to protect the younger kunoichi from being preyed upon by their teachers and team leaders."

"What, then, will you do?" Kakashi couldn't wait any longer.

"Do?" Tsunade asked and he nodded. "Yes, I do need to pass discipline down. You broke a rule, a fairly major one, regardless of my feelings about it." Sakura tightened her hand in Kakashi's and he fought the urge to cross his eyes. She was going to be healing his hand in a little while. Tsunade sighed again. "Well, as far as I can tell, there's really only one thing I can do."
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Denial