Dirty Little Secret

A/N: I have decided that I would like to say a few words before this chapter. First of all, I would like to stress that in no way do I consider actual, healthy BDSM relationships abusive in any nature. However, as you will see here, the relationship between Kakashi and Naruto is not healthy and it is abusive. This chapter was very difficult for me to write and to be honest, it upset me. But it needed to be written. Also, I would like to clarify the topic of this story: yes, it deals with abuse, but it also deals with self-empowerment (of the victim, not the abuser, though that hasn't happened yet.) I know that you want Kakashi to find love - and he does, in the muse that this story follows. I can't say more because I do not want to spoil. Onto the story now.



CHAPTER 22



Gai hadn’t argued with him any further, though, if his face was any indication, he wanted to. Still, he had entered his apartment without another word, other than to bid Kakashi a good night.



Kakashi walked back to Naruto’s house slowly, turning his friend’s words in his head – was what he said true? Had Naruto really done something of that sort? Should he confront him about it? And most importantly, did he want to confront him about it?



Kakashi had never had a real top before – and Tenzo didn’ really count, because he only did what Kakashi had asked him to, having very little personal experience himself. Because of that, Kakashi wasn’t really sure about how a top should behave towards his pet. So far, Naruto’s actions had been exactly what he wanted – he had taken control of him, of his life, had made him feel worthy and needed. To sum it up, he had made him feel alive again. Admittedly, Naruto did behave incredibly selfishly from time to time, but having no clear basis for comparison, Kakashi considered it normal, even expected it to be so.



The full moon illuminated the front door as he slid his key in the lock and turned it, then silently went inside. Taking off his shoes he looked up and noticed that the lights were still on – it was early, Naruto hadn’t gone to bed yet.



Indeed, the Hokage was sitting by the living-room table, pouring over documents and scrolls, letters from the other Kages, regarding their future alliance. The whole thing was stretching in time far too much and he could feel just how annoyed Naruto was about it. Even with all the experience from the war, patience had never been the blonde’s strong side.



Quietly he slid on his knees next to him and waited for his Master to finish his work. It did take a while – Naruto had his nose buried in all the documents for almost an hour before he looked up and then down at Kakashi, as if he just noticed that he was back.



“Welcome home.” He said, voice alarmingly light.



“Master.” He bowed his head.



“Is Gai-sensei well?”



He shrugged.



“He’s been better, but he will be fine.”



Naruto nodded and began to put the documents in order.



“He didn’t look all that well when he was at my office.” He muttered then looked at Kakashi again.



“The two of you are close, are you not?”



He nodded hesitantly, unsure where this conversation was leading.



“You have been close for years.”



He nodded again.



“Has he ever been in Tenzo’s place?”



Surprised at the question, he looked up to Naruto, a slight flush creeping up his neck.



“A few times, Master.” He answered truthfully, cringing at the frown that began to form on the younger man’s face. “It didn’t really work out.”



“It didn’t work out for which one of you?”



“For me, mostly. He wanted things I wasn’t willing to give.” He paused before adding “At the time, at least.”



“Ah.” Was all Naruto said and he began to study at the documents before himself again. A few minutes later, he said:



“Such as?”



“Commitment.” Kakashi intoned quietly. “It was many years ago. I was still in ANBU back then.”



“I see.” Naruto closed the folder he was looking at and turned his whole attention back to Kakashi.



“Seems like he still carries a torch for you.”



“Gai?” Kakashi blinked and then shook his head. “No, he’s just my friend.”



“A friend who dragged you away to “talk” to you the moment he saw your new, ah, status?” and he reached to run a finger over Kakashi’s leather collar. “The moment he realized that someone else got what you never gave him?”



“Master, it’s nothing like that!” Kakashi protested. “He’s my friend, it’s natural that he’s concerned.”



“It’s natural that he’s jealous.” Naruto said frostily. “I don’t want you to talk to him again.”



He obeyed Naruto about anything and everything in his life. Gai, however, the one friend he actually had in the whole village, was off limits to Kakashi. And he wasn’t about to back down so easily.



“No.” he said softly, and then added “Master.”



“What did you say?” Naruto’s voice was quiet and very, very serious.



“No. Gai is my friend. I have no other friends.”



“And what am I?” the blonde hissed.



“You are my Master.”



“And yet you openly disobey me.”



“Gai was my friend before you were my Master.” He didn’t really know where that came from or why he blurted it out, but he immediately regretted it. Bright red spots blossomed on Naruto’s tanned cheeks as he looked down at him, expression growing more and more thunderous and bestial. His red eyes darkened to a deep, rusty colour, the vertical pupils narrowing to tiny slits. His lips pulled back to reveal teeth too sharp for a human being with unnaturally long canines. When he spoke, his voice was a deep, inhuman growl.



“I believe that you need a lesson in obedience, pet. I have been neglecting your training as of late, it seems.”



And then he was on him, grabbing his wrists and pulling him up.



Kakashi was not a man who was easily frightened, but the voice, combined with Naruto’s expression and his monstrous strength, did send a chill of terror down his spine. Instinctively, he kicked out with his good leg, catching the blonde in the shins, then tried to twist away. The struggle only appeared to make the Hokage even angrier than he already was because he roared in rage and his grip on Kakashi’s wrists tightened, then was transferred to only one hand. He backhanded him with the other and the strike was so strong that the older man saw stars behind his closed eye-lids and the world spun threatening around him for a few moments. As dazed as he was, he felt that Naruto was dragging him to the bathroom, then pulling him up and securing his arms on the hot water pipe that ran across the ceiling with a pair of cuffs. It was so high that he was pulled taut and his toes still barely touched the cold pale tiles.



With several sharp tugs Naruto tore off his clothes and stalked out of the bathroom.



By the time he came back Kakashi’s was once again fully conscious, having managed to shake off the effects of the backhand he received, very cold and quite frightened. With an effort he craned his neck and looked behind himself to see that Naruto carried a long leather strap and held it twisted in one hand.



“Master…” he pleaded softly.



“You will learn not to cross me, pet.” Naruto said calmly, face no longer appearing furious but his eyes still burning in a way that made Kakashi’s blood run cold. “I will teach you not to cross me.”



“Please, I’m sorry…” he wanted to apologise. He really did. Naruto shook his head.



“Too late for that now.”



The first blow was painful but it wasn’t unbearable. Besides, Kakashi had been captured by enemy nin more than once and tortured for information – pain wasn’t something that he had no experience in. A second blow landed on top of the first and he clenched his teeth to stifle a pained moan.



Naruto set a fast, powerful, brutal pace to his whipping, each strike carefully measured to land whenever there was still untouched skin – from shoulders to his knees. Still, it could have been bearable until he began to talk.



“I took you in. I gave you a job, I trusted you when everyone had turned their backs on you, even your precious Gai. I did so despite my better judgement and despite all the advice from my jounins not to do so! And I continued to trust you even after you failed me again and again! I even made the relationship we have official! And all I want in return…all I want in return is for you to follow my rules. For your own good. But you have never been good at following rules, have you? And it is what gets people killed or worse!”



Kakashi didn’t know for how long Naruto whipped him. It seemed like forever. At one point, he was no longer able to control his voice and he began to moan and whimper, which eventually turned into screaming and begging him to stop – stop hitting him, stop talking to him – he wasn’t sure which was more important. The talking definitely hurt him more because he knew it was true, despite the fact that he was torn and bleeding.



He was almost out cold when Naruto finally did stop, dropping the bloodied strap on the tiled floor and panting heavily, looking at his handywork.



“Let this be a lesson for you.” He said, and left the bathroom.