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Love Me When I'm Gone	By : KittenCobra Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1971 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto (the manga or anime) or any of the characters included within it. I only own the original characters in this story including the main character Utako Mizuke. I do not make any form of profit off of this story.

Chapter List
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22. Death
I feel like I am floating… there is no more pain. Am I dead? I wonder idly. Death would be better than the pain. Gaara… my poor love. I am so sorry. I’ve left you, and I didn’t even say goodbye. I feel a tear slide down my cheek. Wait… Can you cry if you’re… I’m not dead! Elated at the thought, I try to feel my body. It’s hard, but I begin to slowly.
“Hey, hey!” Naruto’s animated voice shouts much too loudly. “Do you think she’s in pain? Someone get Grandma Tsunade!”
Naruto?... Where is Gaara…?
I open my eyes slowly to see his concerned face leaning over me. Temari is also there. She looks terrible. Her eyes are swollen and red and her hair in wild tufts around her head… as if she’s been crying for days on end. Shikamaru stands behind her with a hand of comfort on her shoulder. She looks at me with hopeful eyes.
“Mizuki?” she asks softly, “are you… still in pain?”
“No.” My voice is hoarse and uncomfortable. “Where is Gaara?! Is he okay?” I sit up suddenly. My head spins, my stomach aches, and I nearly throw up. “Temari, where is Gaara?!” I start to sob, as fear for him begins to overwhelm me.
She looks at me with eyes full of pain, and tears start to flow freely down her face again. “He is… outside the village. I am sorry Mizuki. He is… upset. But we can call for him.”
Outside the village? Not with me? Wh….? I try searching through her memory. It is difficult at first, because of my weakness.
Temari sits in the waiting room. She is terrified. There was so much blood… and I wouldn’t stop screaming. Gaara is pacing a hole in the floor. Suddenly, Tsunade emerges from the big glass doors. She is very tall, young and lean. She is blond and very well endowed. She looks exhausted and distressed… and angry.
Gaara turns to her. His eyes are cast down to the floor – showing red within the white.
“What have they done to her?” he asks. Temari shivers. She has never heard him sound so much like a wild animal, so much like the demon he once housed.
“Some of it was pretty straightforward, some more complex.” Tsunade sighs wearily, pinching the bridge of her nose. “The stab wound to her chest was not as bad as it looked. It didn’t strike her heart or any vital organs. It was not meant to kill… only to look like it had been.”
“Why was there blood on her legs? Why…,” he pauses, swallowing hard. “Why was she still screaming?” He clutches his hair in his hands.
“Gaara… I must ask you something. I apologize, but this is very important.” She pauses, pinching her nose again. “Are you sure you are her only lover? Sure there was no one else? Before you?”
“No one.” He glares at the floor. “Why?”
“Then I am deeply sorry, Gaara.” She looks at him with eyes full of compassion. “She was pregnant, but she’s lost the baby.”
WHAT?! I feel pain beginning to sear through my chest. No! This must be a mistake!
Gaara’s head snaps up in shock. He stands as if stunned, staring into Tsunade’s eyes; then drops to his knees on the hard floor.
“She… what?” he whispers. Tears begin to stream down his face.
“She was pregnant… 5 or 6 weeks would be my best guess without asking her.” Tsunade rubs the back of her neck. Temari’s chest squeezes so tight she cannot breathe. “It appears as if she had some kind of… allergic reaction to the anesthesia they placed her under. Her body reacted like it was poison. It miscarried the baby in an attempt to save her; to try and conserve her energy. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Temari is reeling in shock. She is terrified as she sees Gaara begin tugging at his hair with one fist again. His other fist is practically ripping his shirt off by its front, as if trying to claw out his heart.
“That’s not… possible,” he groans in anger and pain. “She can’t have children.”
Tsunade looks surprised and angry.
A baby?… Temari is shocked and pain lances through her heart.
“Well, I don’t know who told her th…” Tsunade starts.
“Kabuto did!” Temari shouts, cutting her off and beginning to sob. “She showed me! He and Orochimaru said she would never be able to have children! They showed her pictures of her ovaries… as they withered away while she grew up.”
“Well… I don’t know what those bastards are up to,” Tsunade slams her fist down on the counter and the room shakes, “but there’s nothing wrong with her ovaries or anything else at all! I’ve inspected her myself. She is as fertile as any other woman on Earth.”
Gaara is now rocking violently on his knees, practically tearing his hair out. Temari tries to run to him, to comfort him, but he looks up with rage in his eyes and screams at her. In a flash, he is gone, and the world outside the hospital begins to thunder and crash.
I tear myself away from Temari’s memory.
No! I clutch my stomach, feeling hollow. “How long!?” I scream at Temari.
“It took us a week to find where they’d taken you. Since bringing you here… you’ve been asleep for 6 days,” she sobs. “Mizuki, I am so sorry!”
No, no, no… The pain is like a tsunami, dragging me under and beating me against the debris. I see a beautiful jade-eyed baby with Gaara’s hair. My pain tears through me as if the world is shaking apart. “My baby!” I scream, clutching my head in my hands and drawing my knees to my chest.
“What’s happening?!” Naruto’s voice rises in panic.
No, no, no… “Mommy?” the beautiful baby in my mind whispers to me. “Mommy why?” No, no, no!
The whole room, the whole building, begins to groan and shudder around me. I hear medical alarms going off, supplies and tools crashing to the ground.
“It’s her!” Temari shouts. “Mizuki! Mizuki, you must calm down. Please! I’m so sorry.”
“Why didn’t you save me mommy?” his little body is huddled in the sand, in pain, like his father. NO, NO, NO!!
“MY BABY!” I scream in rage, and the walls around me begin to crack. My mind begins to burn, but it is nothing compared to this agony. “THOSE BASTARDS KILLED MY BABY!”
I begin screaming and I cannot stop. My mind is on fire! I want to die, to escape this horror, this emptiness. Large chunks of the ceiling begin to fall; the building groaning in protest. Shikamaru rips Temari out of the way of the falling debris, dragging her by force away from me.
“Mizuki!” she screams.
Debris is everywhere as the building continues to shake apart. The burning… the pain and burning are everywhere. I cannot stop screaming, “MY BABY! THOSE BASTARDS! I’LL KILL THEM!! I’LL KILL THEM!!”
The building groans, and protests this punishment. The debris is going to come down on me, but I hope it does. Crush me. Kill me. “DAMN YOU OROCHIMARU!!!”
Suddenly, I feel sand wrap around me like a blanket. Then I feel his body against mine.
My Gaara. My beautiful jade-eyed baby’s father. I’ve failed him. I let our baby die! I let them kill our baby!
“No, Mizuki!” Gaara shouts over the din. “This is not your fault!”
“They killed our beautiful baby,” I sob with a broken voice, and he clutches me tighter against him. I can feel debris hitting his sand shield all around us. The building shudders violently again, radiating with my heartache.
“I know,” he says in a choked voice. “I’m so sorry Mizuki. I… I love you. This is not your fault.”
Slowly, his embrace begins to leech the violence from my pain, and the burn in my mind begins to dim. Even more slowly, the building settles and then stops shaking all together.
“Gaara…” I sob, clinging to him like my only remaining connection to this life. “Our baby. Our beautiful little baby. No, no, no…”
He settles down against the hospital bed, and I curl up on him like a small child; clutching my empty belly. Gaara holds me for hours as I cry. I can feel his salty tears splatter against my cheeks like rain.
---------------------------------------
When I awake, many hours later, Gaara is asleep beneath me. His eyes are darker than I have ever seen them. We are still lying in the wretched hospital bed. Glancing out of the window, I realize we are not in Suna. We must be in the leaf village.
I glance around the room and I am surprised at the level of destruction I see. The room looks like it’s been through a war. The walls are cracked enough that I can see daylight through the outer ones. The ceiling has large chunks hanging from iron girders. Sand is everywhere, all around our bed. Tsunade walks in and stands at the foot of it.
She looks weary and aggravated. Her hands are on her hips, and her eyes are narrowed at me. She can’t decide if she should be angry with me or not. This is the first time I have seen her with my own eyes. I see myself through her mind’s eye. I look as dead as I feel; my eyes hollow as I stare at her. Gaara stirs beneath me, and turns to see her as well; rubbing salt and sleep from his bruised eyes.
“I take it from this…” she waves her hand at the room, “that you’ve already learned the news?”
I nod at her; my face still dead.
“You’ve destroyed my hospital,” she pronounces with only mild irritation. “Do you know what it’s like to evacuate a hospital during an earthquake?”
I swallow hard. “I’m sorry,” I choke out through a broken voice. “I’ve never had this happen before. I did not know I could affect the physical world like this. Maybe you should have let me die.”
Gaara stiffens beneath me and pulls me tight against him. I do not respond.
“No,” Tsunade says with a weary sigh. “There has been enough death already.”
I can see in her mind that she is still worried about both of us – about our mental stability. Gaara apparently destroyed a good portion of the forest in his own rage. I cannot look into his thoughts, cannot bear his pain too.
“Stay here for as long as you need.” She turns and leaves.
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Love Me When I'm Gone

22. Death