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The Canalized River	By : susanna Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 944 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 21
- 22
- 23
A/N
at the end of the chapter

Chapter
Twenty-Two: Suigetsu's Story

South
had turned out to be the correct direction: after a few days, Juugo's
bird told them that there was a rumor among the animals about a young
boy travelling on his own, choosing paths through the wilderness
during the day, but seeking out the towns for the night, a boy with a
huge amount of chakra and with some other rather strange and evil
chakra beneath it. He was not very fast, and his general direction
was South.

“We'll
have to be faster and catch up with him”, Sasuke announced.

Soon
they got closer, so that Karin was able to sense his chakra, and then
Naruto changed direction and moved North, obviously intending to meet
them. Sasuke ordered his team to move sidewards, and they obeyed,
though they were frowning.

“I
want to see that he's safe”, Sasuke explained. “I don't
want to meet him. Karin, who else is in the area? Any Akatsuki
members around?”

“Not
close enough for me to sense their chakra”, she answered.
“Which means that they are still pretty far away.”

So
Sasuke had not yet to worry about any immediate danger for Naruto,
and he split up his team into pairs: Suigetsu with Karin, Juugo with
himself. Juugo had not had any of his homicidal fits recently, still
Sasuke felt safer if he was nearby to control him if need be. Karin
and Suigetsu seemed to get along fairly well, even though Suigetsu
occasionally returned with some bruises that were probably Karin's
doing.

He
did not know what Naruto used to track them, sense of smell or sense
of chakra or even something else, so they exchanged clothes and Karin
used a jutsu to mix up their chakra signatures in order to confuse
him. Only for the night they met again: Sasuke wanted them to be able
to protect each other if anything should happen. He did not want
Karin and Suigetsu to be on their own when they were attacked, rather
would he put up with their frowns when he sent them away the next
morning.

He
knew what they were thinking, and he knew that they had a point,
still he could not bring himself to meet Naruto.

Then
Akatsuki drew near: Karin told them that in the East she had sensed
the chakra of the man and the woman who had fought Naruto and forced
him to take the demon-fox' form. Also there were some other people
drawing near from the West, but they were still far away and Karin
did not recognize their chakra.

Sasuke
hated himself for doing it, and he did not look into Karin's or
Suigetsu's eyes, but still he did it: He sent the two of them in the
direct line between Akatsuki and Naruto while he and Juugo would go
to Naruto's other side and then move West, trying to lure him away
from the Akatsuki. As it was he was luring him to those other people
but he did not care about them at the moment as they were still far
away and as they might not be dangerous.

He
had thought of taking himself the position between Naruto and the
Akatsuki, but he did not want to risk luring Naruto towards the
Akatsuki. He gave Juugo's bird to Karin and Suigetsu so that they
could alert him and Juugo if the Akatsuki got too close. He told them
explicitly not to wait until they were actually attacked but to allow
for some time so that he and Juugo could come to their aid, and still
he was scared: Karin had never been of much use in a fight, and
Suigetsu was no match for these Akatsuki members. He would have been
good against Kisame, but not against those others... He just hoped
that nothing would happen.

They
were all moving West now.

The
second evening Suigetsu spoke up: “How long are you going to
continue this game you are playing with your friend? Though at the
moment you are not behaving as if you were his friend.”

Sasuke
did not answer. He had suspected that at some point his team would
protest, and he could not blame them.

“It's
getting ridiculous, and when Akatsuki finally attacks, it will get
dangerous. It's a waste of time and a waste of energy. It would be
much easier to watch over your friend and protect him if we had him
with us. Hell, we could even take up our search for Itachi.”

Sasuke
still did not answer.

“It's
not as if he could capture you and take you to Konoha at the moment.”

Sasuke
did not answer.

“There
is something else you should know”, Karin said. “His
chakra signature is getting weaker. I suspect that he is running out
of food, and maybe also out of water, and considering the game we are
playing with him he's likely to run out of hope as well.”

“Nonsense.
I have never met a guy with as much chakra as Naruto, and he is the
last one who will run out of hope – I mean, it's absurd that he
has been chasing me until now, so why should he give up just at this
moment when I am so near?”

“What's
really absurd is our behaviour”, Karin said. “I mean, we
are doing our best to protect him against Akatsuki, and at the same
time we let him die of hunger or thirst or despair. Also there is the
question of the people who are approaching from the West. It's
actually one from the North West and two directly from the West. We
still have no idea who they are and whether they are dangerous.”

Sasuke
did not answer.

“Now
it's your turn”, Suigetsu said. “I hope you have a really
good explanation.”

It
took Sasuke some minutes before he finally spoke: “He is
annoying and constantly getting on my nerves. He does not know how to
be silent, he does not know how to respect other people's personal
space, he is always trying to get everyone's attention, always
bragging and showing off. In fights, risking his life in a brave and
showy way is more important to him than actually winning the fight,
and he cannot stick to plans but rather surprises friend and foe by
the sheer stupidity of his actions. Even when he is really acting
heroically, trying to save someone else's life, it is not for the
other person's sake but to show his own worth and to finally get some
recognition.

“As
a kid at the ninja academy I watched him from afar and pitied him
because everyone hated him, even though he strove so hard to win
their love. It was heartbreaking and pathetic at the same time to
watch him doing everything he could to win the recognition of people
who were far beneath him, and never succeed, and I did not know
whether to feel sympathy or despise him.”

“Well,
most people want to be loved”, Suigetsu said.

“I
don't.”

“We
know that already. For you, people who love you and care for you are
just a nuisance because they might hinder you when you are foolishly
risking your life.”

“Whatever.”
Sasuke had no intention of discussing that matter. “Naruto was
the other extreme: Wanting to be loved at any price, and not caring
whose love he was attempting to win. The only exception was I myself:
Me he hated and envied, and when we were put into one team, he would
do anything to show that he was better than me, no matter how much
damage this would cause to the team. He was unbearable, hyperactive,
childish.”

“Now,
I know more people who can be very childish”, Suigetsu said.

“And
then, when it was already too late, when I was on the point of
leaving Konoha, he suddenly declared himself my friend. It was the
worst moment he could have chosen.”

“It
seems to me that you are both quite good at being friends as long as
the other one is far away. Only that this is a luxury we cannot
afford at the moment. But it does not seem so absurd to me to tell a
person how much you care about them when they are about to leave. You
don't do it when everything is fine.”

“It
was still the worst moment.” Sasuke was not sure whether he
wanted to tell this story, as it was still one of the worst memories
of his life, and he felt embarrassed about it as well. But it was on
his mind, as it was his most important reason for not wanting to face
Naruto.

“It
was the only time in my life when I did not care for him. I had
always cared for him, even though we did not get along, but at that
time I did not. I had just met Itachi, and I was out of my mind.
Itachi had defeated me without any effort, and I was ready to pay any
price to get stronger than him. Not only to give myself over to
Orochimaru and spend three years with him, but even to kill Naruto.
Itachi had told me that it was necessary to kill my best friend in
order gain the Mangekyou Sharingan, so Naruto made me realize that he
was my friend – my only and therefore also my best friend –
just at the moment when I would not love him back for this but kill
him. It was by sheer luck that I did not succeed. There you have it!”
He spat the words at Suigetsu. “The reason why I won't kill
just because it's convenient. I tried to do it once, and I have
repented ever since.”

Now
he had told it – the one deed in his life he was most ashamed
of. His three listeners sat silent for some minutes.

“But
you did not do it”, Suigetsu finally said, carefully choosing
his words. “You could have done it, but in the end you decided
against it. I was not so lucky – or so brave.”

Everyone's
attention turned to him.

“Killing
your classmates was not part of the final exam of the Hidden Mist's
ninja academy any more when I took it: That had been abandoned
several years before. But the attitude behind it was still alive, and
a child as myself whose parents had never taught him to respect their
fellow humans' lives and health was not restrained but encouraged.
Formally of course I was told off when I threatened or hurt my
classmates during lessons, but my teachers made sure to let me know
that they only did it because it was their duty, while personally
they admired me for being cool, rebellious and unscrupulous and
having the right fighting-spirit.

“In
our free time we formed gangs that were engaged in what we called
wars against each other, though it was more stealing and pulling
stupid pranks on each other than actual fighting, and when there was
no other gang around, we fought among ourselves. We were cruel and
careless even when we fought against our companions – I don't
think that I have ever had any friends. I had heard about friends in
the stories our teachers told us, friends who were ready to protect
each other with their lives, and I admired them and longed for such a
friend myself, but I had never learnt to behave in a way that would
have won me such a friend.

“More
than once one of us would get seriously hurt because of our fights
among friends, as we called them, because we knew not better, and
with seriously I don't mean a scratch or a bruise or something a
nurse would put some iodine on and then would let us go again –
I mean wounds that had to be sewn up or even broken bones that meant
that the kid in question had to spend some weeks in hospital. No one
told us that this was wrong – parents and teachers would shrug
it off, saying: What do you want? They are boys, playing wild, rough
boyish games, and accidents are bound to happen. Do you want them to
be some wuzzies who cannot bear any pain?

“Only
when one of us got killed it was not an accident any more, not bound
to happen. I had fought against a friend of mine, well, not a friend
perhaps, but only a companion, but he was the boy whom I visited or
who would come over to my place when it was raining and we could not
play outside, and then we would build fortresses in our parents'
living rooms from wood and paper-maché. We would collect
stones and grass and stick them on top of the towers and into the
courtyard, and then we would man the fortresses with tin soldiers and
re-enact famous battles from history and tell each other stories we
had heard and invent adventures for our favorite action figures and
tell each other about the heroic deeds we wanted to do when we were
grown up.

“We
had fought, as we had often done, surrounded and cheered on by the
other members of our gang. I had won and was straddling him, pressing
his face into the mud. The rest of the boys encouraged me to press
him down deeper, making him pay the price for his weakness. He was
first struggling, then laughing in defiance and saying that the pain
did not bother him and that next time he would defeat me, then he was
panicking and pleading, and in the end he was silent and then fell
all limp. For a second I panicked as well, then I got back to my old
cool self. When I met his parents I stared them right into their
eyes. They tried to get me punished, but in the end it was again:
They are boys, playing wild rough games, and accidents are bound to
happen. Only I knew that it had not been an accident and that I
should have let him go...

“Soon
I became leader of a gang myself, and my companions admired me for my
ruthlessness and tried to become as cold-hearted and unscrupulous as
I myself. From my teachers, I got no reproaches at all, and soon I
stopped thinking about my friend, and if I thought about him, I did
not remember the rainy days we had spent together, but thought with
pride about what I had done, proud of my mercilessness and because I
had not allowed any sentimental feelings get into my way.

Well,
and this was my life until I got captured by Orochimaru. I have told
you about it now – I could understand you if you sent me
away.”

“No,
surely not”, Sasuke answered. “You have always been a
valuable companion.”

He
opened his arms and embraced him rather awkwardly.

“Tomorrow
we will decide how we will go on.”

LadyRonin:
I have to apologize: I hope I did not sound angry. So I when the
story is finished I will have another look at all the questions you
posted in your reviews and see which ones have not been answered.

As
for your newest comment: That the Yondaime only sealed the light
(Yang) half of the kyuubi's chakra into Naruto is actually canon. You
can find it in chapter 370.

Thanks
again for reading and commenting! :-)

Spoon:
Of course they would follow him!
*Goes back to her story to check whether there have been enough
hints*

Dkr:
Thanks for the clarification. Indeed this is what I think that Hebi
should be even in the canon: the wild card. Thanks a lot for the
comment!

Chevonne:
Thanks for reading and commenting! I hope that all your questions
will be answered in the following chapters...
- 21
- 22
- 23
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The Canalized River