The Butterfly | By : tealeaf Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1743 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Disclaimer: No, even after all of this, I still don�t own
Naruto.
A/N: Well everyone, I�m sorry for the late update. Believe
it or not, I hit some severe writer�s block with this chapter. I�m still not
sure it came out correctly. I think the ending is too easy. But I justify it in
the fact that I think Sakura�s personality is very obsessive and so the concept
of simply letting go of whatever it was that had hurt her would never occur to
her.
Before I say this last bit, I would again like to think
every single person who has read this fic, especially everyone who�s left me
the 156 reviews on FF.net, the 3 on MediaMiner and the 58 on AFF.net. You guys
are awesome and you have no idea how much reading your comments, impressions,
criticisms and praise have influenced me and encouraged me in the writing of
this fic.
A special thank you goes to Sailor Tiamat, Lady Light, Empty
Sanity, Jewel Song, Ashi-chan, Nocterayne and eone one else who�s left me
reviews for just about every chapter, as well as to Mint, Ivy, Fly, Wicked
Innuendo, Fanartist, Kayoko and Aya for not only continually reviewing but also
writing and corresponding with me directly as well as really, really helping me
write and sort out my ideas for this fic.
So thank you everyone, and I truly hope you enjoy this, the final
chapter of The Butterfly. Oh, and the cs acs at the end are from the song �Sweet
Mistakes� by Ellis Paul.
~~~
The Butterfly: Chapter 23
By: Tea Leaf / Banana Soap
~~~
He sighed as he watched her sit at the window. It was
midnight on another sleepless night for her. The moonlight filtered in softly, casting
an ethereal glow to her skin. A soft breeze blew through the open glass and
fluttered the long strands of her hair. The curtain billowed, causing a teasing
barrier between them.
A physical equivalent to the ambiguous barrier that had been
forming between them for the past month.
She was trying to be; there was no doubt about that. She was
trying as hard as she could to fit herself back into the mold that had been so
comfortable when they�d lived together.
But it wasn�t comfortaanymanymore.
It was strained; it was shadowed. There were secrets now
where there had been none before. There was a wall dividing them from their
once open honesty.
He smiled slightly; he wasn�t surprised. He�d known it
wouldn�t last forever even if he had been able to stay.
When it came right down to it, regardless of how much she
may always want to deny it, there had always been something essential to her
that had been missing.
He had been able to temporarily fill that void for her but
that�s all he was, filler. A substitution.
He was sure she didn�t realize that though, she wasn�t the
type of person who would consciously use someone.
But even if she did�he couldn�t really say that he�d minded.
He�d probably been using her for the same purposes.
But something had happened to her while he was away,
something that made her realize that she simply couldn�t patch up that void
with anyone else.
He sighed again, he�d been half hoping it wouldn�t come to
this but she�d been steadily regressing into herself. She�d been steadily
sleeping less. She�d been steadily eating less. She�d been steadily
disconnecting.
�Sakura� he said softly.
She looked at him, her empty gaze shifting from the window
to him.
�Why are you here?� he asked her directly as he sat up.
�What do you mean?� she replied, frowning slightly.
�Answer.�
�Because�because I live here?� she responded hesitantly,
still frowning.
He considered her answer.
�No you don�t live here, you haunt the halls like a
ghost.� He answered her in an honest tone, and she tried not to let the words
sting too much.
�So, why are you here?� he asked again.
She glared at him, why was he doing this?
clasclass=MsoNormal>�Because�because you need me here.� She answered, lifting
He smiled slightly, this was one change he liked; her
emotions were closer to the surface.
�Well, no, I don�t. I did, that�s true. But I can take care
of myself again.� He told painfully.
Her eyes stung and she looked away.
�Why are you here?�
�Because I have nowhere else to go�� she whispered.
�Now you�re just strait out lying to me.� He told her.
�Are you telling me to leave?� she asked, her eyes still
stung and her vision was becoming blurry; her throat hurt.
�No, I�d never tell you that. But it�s obvious that here
isn�t where you really want to be so I�m wondering if maybe you should be
somewhere else.� He said gently as he watched her blink to clear her vision.
She didn�t respond, she simply turned away and looked back
out the window. Finally she stood up and went wordlessly to the door and left.
She needed to clear her head.
~~~
He forced his feet to keep moving. He really didn�t want to
go back yet. He didn�t want to be alone in that empty house.
He couldn�t stand it.
class=Mss=MsoNormal>It had been a rough month. He�d been grateful for the
But now�now he was back. Now she was too close for him to
ignore her but to far to grasp her.
She hadn�t come back. She wouldn�t come back. He�d just been
a replacement until that stupid perverted ex-sensei of theirs woke up.
He almost wished she hadn�t found him. But then he
remembered that he couldn�t really hate Kakashi, it wasn�t his fault so he
couldn�t wish wasting away anonymously in some northern hospital upon him. But
he could hate her. And he tried very hard to do so.
He crossed the village walls easily, being recognized
immediately by the guards, and continued to walk towards his house, his feet
dragging.
It had been a mistake to get close to her. It was a mistake
to have gone after her at all. It was a mistake to have let her leave in the
first place.
~~~
She leaned against the rail of the bridge, letting the
comfort of a familiarity that no one could take from her wash over her as she
watched the fireflies dance over the moving water.
Damn Kakashi for seeing through her anyway. She�d been
starting to be able to ignore it. She�d been starting to act normally again.
She�d been starting to be able to force away the numbness during the day.
She felt so stupid�there was another familiarity. She always
felt stupid and useless.
She wanted her butterflies back. Her butterflies had always
been her companions; they�d made her feel strong and smart.
But there were no more butterflies. They didn�t come to her
anymore. They weren�t hers anymore.
She sighed and sat down, her legs swinging over the edge of
the bridge.
She heard steps. She ignored them. Maybe she�d get lucky and
it would be some psycho who�d simply murder her and put her out of her misery.
The owner of the steps sat down beside her, his own feet
swinging over the edge as well.
No such luck.
She couldn�t say she was surprised he was there; it was just
a perfect anecdote to the sick joke that had been her day, her week, her month,
her year, her life.
They didn�t speak. Her inner self snorted, they never spoke.
She stared listlessly at the fireflies.
�How was your mission?� she asked him eventually.
�Successful.� He answered her.
The silence stretched again.
�How�s Kakashi?� he asked her.
�Good. Recovering remarkably quickly.� She responded.
Again the silence stretched.
�You ruined it, you know.� She told him, so softly he could
barely hear her.
He didn�t respond.
�As soon as I found out you were gone�.� She trailed off,
her gaze hazy as she watched the fireflies.
�As soon as you found out I was gone you what?� he pressed.
She took her time, deliberating her answer.
�I went numb.� She said eventually.
�Ah numbness�� was his response.
Silence fell again.
�You ruint, yt, you know.� He told her, his voice barely
above a whisper.
She frowned slightly.
�What could I have possibly ruined for you?� she asked,
bristling slightly.
�Well then we�re even on that front.� She responded a little
sharply.
�What are you mad at me for? I haven�t done anything to
you.� He muttered.
�Excuse me? You haven�t done anything to me?� she snapped as
she whirled to glare at him.
�You abandoned me. Then you ignored me and avoided me. Then
you dismissed me. And then you tricked me into caring about you again and
again, you abandoned me!� she raged.
�What are you talking about, I didn�t abandon you!� he shot
back, glaring as well.
�What the hell do you call leaving without so much as a
by-your-leave?� she said acidly.
�I had a mission.� He responded, his own anger starting to
rise.
�One you volunteered for.� She continued, cutting it down.
The brought him up short.
�How did you know that?� he asked, his eyes narrowing.
She looked away, back out at the fireflies.
�I asked about you.� She said, her voice calm and quiet
again.
He felt a small smile start to twist the corner of his lips.
�Where you worried about me?� he asked her.
�Of course I was worried about you, I�ve always worried
about you.� She answered as she stood up.
He looked up at her, frowning slightly.
�Really?�
She glared and kicked him lightly in the ribs.
He winced. �That was uncalled for�� he muttered.
She moved to the opposite railing of the bridge.
He stood up.
�Had you bothered to come back, I wouldn�t have volunteered
for that mission� he said as he leaned back against the railing and crossed his
arms, looking at her back.
�Well excuse me if I had something important to take care of
before crawling back to you like some lap dog. Besides, you could have and
should have come to the hospital!� she shot back.
�Why didn�t you come back?� he asked her pointedly.
�Because�because I got caught up. Because�I don�t know. Why
didn�t you come to the hospital?� she countered.
�Because�I couldn�t figure out what to say. Because I
thought you didn�t want me there.� He answered as he looked away.
�Why would you ever think that?� she asked softly.
�Because you ignore me and avoid me.� He answered a little
childishly.
She resisted the urge to hit him again.
�Why do you think I did that? Did you ever consider that I
acted that way because you acted that way towards me? Because you had made it
abundantly clear that you didn�t want me around you?� she asked with a glare.
He didn�t answer her. No, he hadn�t thought of that.
�I�m sorry.� He said eventually.
She gripped the railing as a wave of �something washed
through her and weakened her knees. She took a deep breath.
�I want to say apology accepted but I�m not sure I can that
easily. So, I�m sorry too.� She answered, still not looking at it.
He waited for the words to form in his mind.
�How about�we don�t bother with forgiveness. Mistakes were
made, we move on.� He said eventually.
She considered. How simple. How easy. How could she have not
thought of this before?
Just let it go.
Let the past go.
Let the memories go.
Let the butterflies go.
�Ok.� She answered softly, finally raising her eyes to his.
�Ok.� She said again, as she felt the weight liftnallnally
felt it lift.
�Ok.� He answered.
She smiled.
He smiled back.
~~~
Bless your sweet mistakes
That crumble you down to your knees
They brought you to this place,
Changing you by degrees
When change was just what you needed
Pop the cork, a champagne glass
Raise to the future, drink to the past
Thank the Lord for the friends you cast
In the play he wrote for you
//�fin�//
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