Denial | By : djserani Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female > Kakashi/Sakura Views: 4298 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: As always, I don't own the world or characters, I just like to torment them. Kishimoto-sensei gets to keep them permanently. (I make no money from it!) |
Even with the delayed departure in the fishing village, they made it to the inn at the crossroads in plenty of time. They took their room and locked themselves in again. Oddly, after Sakura's determination to not fall into another routine, they were repeating the last couple of nights anyway.
Desperation, need, hunger, fear, love. All of these warred within them. And so the physical reflected the emotional turmoil. When he took her body and she held him to her, they held on just a little longer, touched a little more.
"We'll be there tomorrow." Kakashi had her as tight against himself as he could get her. Their legs were tangled together, their bodies touching in every possible way.
"I know." Sakura knew that their time was up. She fought the tears, sick of crying. She would not cry. But as usual, her body didn't listen to her and they slowly started to fall.
Kakashi watched them, feeling helpless all over again. He brushed them away, but they were just replaced with more. What had he done? What had they done?
The answer was simple. They'd fallen in love.
"I'll always love you. No matter what happens from here." She whispered it.
He swallowed. "I…will, too." He clenched his jaw, fighting the bubbling frustration. He wanted to throw something, stuff a chidori up someone's ass. It wasn't fair. For someone in their world to find love, to take the chance…
"The way I see it, we currently have two choices. We could either part ways as… well, except as team mates. Or we could do our best to see each other in secret." Neither option was palatable. When did he start thinking he wanted much more than just to be allowed to be with her? When did he start thinking about more than seeing her as often as possible?
Despite her tears, Sakura made a face. "They both suck."
He chuckled. "Yes, they do." He kissed her again, softly, tenderly enough to bruise the heart.
"I…" She closed her eyes. It was not the time for half-truths. She'd stopped hiding back in Port City. "I have to be honest. I don't want to stop seeing you. But I can't - won't - ask you to risk your life as a ninja."
He gave a sad half-smile. "I was just thinking the same thing. Even going to ask about it would jeopardize it."
She sighed. "I know. It's a stupid rule!" Sakura fisted her hand, desperate to hold the sudden anger and frustration in.
"You don't have to convince me of that. I'd also prefer if you didn't punch me."
She shook her head. "I don't want to hurt you." She looked up at him. "I…" she paused and took a deep breath. "I've been thinking about this - nothing but this since we left Port City…well, before, really. But… I won't ask you to. But if you ask me, I'd rather see you and risk being expelled, than never be with you again." There, she said it.
She closed her eyes, all her new-found bravery used up. The tears leaked again and she could feel her chest tighten. Kakashi lifted her chin so that she looked up at him. "I would rather see you. Perhaps we'll try to keep it hidden, at least for now. I don't know if I can be without you."
She sighed, the ball in her chest loosening for another night.
They didn't sleep much that night, either. But despite the slow pace the next day, they found themselves within sight of the gates of Konoha before they wanted to. They stopped far enough away to not be seen.
Kakashi pulled her into his arms. "I'll be there tonight. I don't know when, exactly, but earlier than… before. We can talk more then."
She swallowed her tears again and nodded. Things were about to get very, very complicated for them. Maybe even more so than before they left. "I guess I don't have to tell you I'll be waiting." She tried for a smile, but was pretty sure it came up lacking. She pulled his mask down and stood on tip toes.
Their kiss started soft, tender, but the emotions took over and there was no missing the heartbreak in it. "Come on." Kakashi said, as they broke apart. And they turned toward the gates.
Tsunade stared at the two in front of her. Something was very wrong here. Kakashi gave his report succinctly; Sakura gave her clear medical review. On the surface, it was nearly perfect.
And that was the problem. Sakura was always knowledgeable, no question about that, but she hated reporting. She hated paperwork, almost as much as Tsunade herself. And Kakashi was horrible about doing his reporting. It was usually half-assed, at best. The only one worse was Shikamaru. Brilliant shinobi, but their reports were always crap.
The mission went well enough. She was glad to hear about Sakura's success with Maiko, even had to smile at the way Sakura handled the highwaymen. She was proud of her apprentice, though she would never tell her, necessarily.
But there was something between the two of them and it sent up all sorts of red flags with her. As she dismissed them, she watched as they carefully avoided any contact whatsoever. He held the door for her and they stepped out, keeping their distance.
"SHIZUNE!"
It was still early, the sun had only barely gone down, but he thought his patience had been tested enough for the day. He'd managed to fill a few hours doing laundry and buying groceries. He'd stared at his bed and knew without trying he'd never be able to sleep in it alone again.
He'd summoned Pakkun and checked on the nin-pack. Nothing new there, not that he expected it, so by the time he'd accomplished all of that, he couldn't stand it anymore. After having been in her company almost constantly for the last two weeks, he needed to see her again. And it had been less than four hours.
He looked around to see if anyone was looking and, certain he was alone, slipped into her window. He didn't make it a foot inside when she crashed into him. His mask was gone, her lips were there and he forgot everything but her for a while.
"Maybe if we split our time between here and your place, it won't be so obvious." Sakura suggested after their initial need had burned itself out.
"That's a possibility. A good idea, in fact. We should keep it unpredictable. A few days here, a day or two there, then back." He kissed her shoulder. "We can't, exactly, move in together, but… we can make it close."
She rolled onto her back and looked up at him. "I'd like that. Bring a few things over."
"Does anyone visit here?"
She shook her head. "Ino occasionally, but she won't notice."
"I still want to say that, for the record, I don't like it." He said before kissing her again.
She sighed. "I don't, either. But I learned something before I knew that you loved me." When he looked puzzled, she said, "I learned to take what I could get. If I was only going to get a few hours with you, I would be grateful for them. I didn't say that to make you feel bad." She said at the look on his face, "but if we don't know how much time we have - and for once, it's worst than most ninja, but…" she trailed off.
"I'd marry you." He said quietly and her heart nearly stopped.
"What?" She said. She couldn't believe she'd heard what she thought she did.
"I'd marry you. If it weren't for the rule."
She couldn't breathe all of a sudden. The ball in her chest grew, and she nearly choked on it. She stared at him, at a loss for what to say. She swallowed hard, then finally found her voice. "I'd want to. I'd say yes."
He smiled. "I didn't say I'd give you a choice."
She laughed. "Okay, okay." She turned serious again and leaned up to kiss him. Before it could get serious, she pulled herself back. "I know that at some point, you have to leave in the mornings. Just…wake me before you do? Say good bye. Don't…leave without me knowing."
He brushed the hair out of her face, buying himself a moment to force the anger and regret back. "I won't leave like that again. Not even if Tsunade herself is pounding down the front door."
Sakura couldn't help but laugh at that image. "Kakashi, I can't let you risk the ninja corps for me."
"That's not up to you. In the end, that will be my decision, if it comes down to it. Neither of us wants that. That's why we're not going directly to her and announcing our intentions. But I'm not going to hurt you in the same way again. I'm not going to hurt you at all, if I can help it."
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