Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Grounded	By : djserani Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 2818 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 19
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- 21
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, couldn’t accept it. He simply couldn’t be saying what she thought he was saying.
“Sakura?” If she hadn’t been in such denial, she might have seen the pain in his eyes. She might have realized that she was looking at his whole face and known how much it was hurting him to say it.
But she was in denial. She still couldn’t accept what she was hearing. “No.” She just shook her head.
“Sakura, don’t make it harder than it has to be. You know this is the right thing. You know we’re not meant. You deserve better than me.” He swallowed hard after saying that.
The words finally penetrated. “Don’t you think that’s for me to decide? Don’t you think it’s up to me to know what I want?”
“You don’t know what you want,” he said, almost harshly. “You can’t possibly know what’s good for you.”
She shook her head, refusing to accept it. “So that’s it? So long, and thanks for the good times?”
Kakashi affected a negligent shrug. “It wouldn’t have worked for us, and you know it.” He paused and looked at her long and hard. “Take care, Sakura,” he said quietly and stepped out of her office, closing the door softly behind him.
Sakura stared, unseeingly at the door. She took the two steps toward it, but stopped, knowing it would do no good. That was it? And he was gone. She turned around, at a loss for what to do, what to think. She looked down at the clipboard held tightly in her hands.
A completely ridiculous thought popped into her head that if she held on to the clipboard, if she just kept looking at it, this would all go away and she’d be okay. The papers blurred and she fought the tears with every tiny cell in her body. She would not cry. She didn’t need to. Because she still held the clipboard and it was still okay.
And then, whatever tiny thread inside her that was keeping her together snapped.
She hurled the clipboard across the room and time seemed to slow. She watched as it moved in slow motion, flew across the room and connected with the glass in her window. Then, both the clipboard and her window shattered. As the glass and wood splintered, so did she.
As the tears started to fall, tears she hadn’t shed in years, she, too, fell. She leaned against the door and slid very slowly down until she was in a tiny ball on the floor. The room had become indistinct, a cacophony of running colors, like someone had poured water onto one of Sai’s canvases. It took her a moment to realize that it was her vision and rather than try to clear it, she just closed her eyes.
Pain bloomed in her chest. She briefly thought about what she’d felt when Sasuke had left all those years ago, but that was nothing. ‘Paled in comparison’ flashed through her head. She hadn’t loved Sasuke the way she loved Kakashi.
With her whole body. Every breath, every little bit of her. Every fiber of her being.
And he didn’t want her.
The pain radiated from her center and spread through until she could no longer tell where the emotional ended and the physical began.
She had no idea how long she lay there. She had no idea that Tsunade had taken over her patient and given orders that no one go near her door. She didn’t notice when the shadows lengthened or the lights outside came on.
She wasn’t even aware when the door opened behind her, shifting her to the side or a set of arms lifted her up and laid her on the couch. She didn’t pay attention to her shoes being removed or the blanket being laid over her. She had no recollection of falling asleep.

If she had paid attention, she would have seen the mighty Hatake Kakashi with tears on his face as he laid her on the couch. She would have known it was he who had so tenderly removed her shoes and covered her with the blanket.
She would have known that he’d sat in the corner of the room all night with her, making sure she was okay as his own pain nearly choked him and he could think of nothing worse in the world than hurting the one person who loved him more than anyone ever had, more than she loved any other thing.
Was he right?
He wasn’t so sure, anymore.
He’d thought so. But now that it was here, now that he’d done it, he just didn’t know.
Why did it hurt so much? If it was the right thing to do for her, for them, why did it feel so wrong?
He closed his eyes and all he could see were a pair of emerald ones looking back at him. He’d told her she had a very expressive face, but she had no idea just how much. He knew how much she loved him. Hadn’t he seen it over and over and over again in her face?
Hadn’t he felt it every time he’d slipped into her body, every time they’d touched, every time he’d held her? Hadn’t he recognized her as the one place he belonged?
He’d known from the first time he’d kissed her. The first brush of lips, the first time he’d felt her skin against his. She held everything for him.
And now that she wasn’t there, didn’t it feel like the biggest part of him was missing? She may have been laying on the couch across the room, but she may as well have been on the other side of the world. And if it was missing, why was it the right thing to do?
He deserved it. He told himself that he deserved the pain, deserved to lose her for what he was putting her through. First, he’d made her the target of questions and ridicule for being with him. She shouldn’t have to go through that to be with someone.
Then he’d been the one to cause her pain directly. He couldn’t have missed the pain in her face if he wanted to. He didn’t need his sharingan to see the denial, to see her fighting what he was trying to say.
He spent the night on the cold floor of her office, under the broken window. As the minutes turned to hours, all he could do was see the moments with her like some sort of movie replaying over and over in his head. Except he couldn’t hear the soundtrack. All he could hear was her ‘no’ over and over again.
And when dawn broke, he slipped out of the shattered window more confused and broken than he’d ever been in his life.

She woke slowly, noting first that it was very cold in the room. Confusion set in when she couldn’t figure out where she was. It was brighter than a bedroom should be, and she was…on the couch? Then the night before crashed into her. And before she could stop it the tears started falling again.
Kakashi.
She lay on the couch in her office, trying to get a grip on her emotions, but she couldn’t seem to stop the tears from falling. She still felt like there was a physical pain in her chest and as she fought, they only fell harder, the pain bloomed again and she curled back into a ball.
He didn’t want her.
Those four words played over and over in her head. She’d been a fool. She grimaced. She’d been naïve. Maybe she didn’t care so much what everyone else thought, but apparently he did. She bet that when he’d gone into the jounin building, he’d taken crap for them. That would explain his behavior at lunch yesterday.
Whatever he’d felt, it hadn’t been stronger than the shame of being with her. Little Sakura, former student. She wasn’t old enough, sexy enough, pretty enough, strong enough, just not…enough.
She swallowed hard, trying everything to force the tears away. She fought hard, but after a while, they got the better of her and she curled up tighter and let them fall.
Somewhere over the course of the morning, someone knocked at her door, but she didn’t answer it, couldn’t quite yet get up. They left after a minute, and she was grateful they didn’t walk in. She could see from there that her door wasn’t locked.
She fell asleep again for a while, and when she woke later that afternoon, her head killing her, her tears all cried out, she sat up. She knew she looked like shit, but couldn’t bring herself to care. She stood up and headed over to her desk to get some tissues and that’s when she saw it.
She stepped carefully over the glass and wood splinters and squatted down in front of her desk. Taking care not to cut herself, she lifted the small orange book and stared at it. She glanced around, but there was no other evidence of someone being there.
He wasn’t the only one that read the books. Maybe it was Naruto’s or Sai’s. Maybe someone else had dropped it. She stared at it for a moment, not sure if she wanted to see what was just inside the front.
Swallowing her fear, she slowly pulled the cover back.

To my number one fan. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed researching it.
-Jiraiya

She closed her eyes and carefully tucked the book into her arms against her chest. The tears started leaking again, but there was nothing she could do about it. Why?
Why had he left it here? He never left his books out of his sight. And how? When? She would have noticed it yesterday.
Which left one option. He was here last night. But why?
She stood up and went back to her couch, holding tight to the book. She curled up into a ball on one end, staring at nothing. He’d been there last night, while she was sleeping. And he’d been upset or distracted enough that one of his most precious possessions had fallen out of his pouch and been left behind without him noticing.
Something didn’t add up. And as she sat there, letting her mind work through it, the tears slowed and eventually stopped. She took a deep breath. This wasn’t over yet.
- 19
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