Sukea | By : MisatosPenPen Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Kakashi/Sasuke Views: 3317 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Of course, their next meeting was as captain and subordinate. Sasuke was dour as ever. However, he seemed to be a little lighter though he didn’t have any real expression. Maybe his eyebrows were a little less drawn, his eyes brighter.
Or Kakashi was imagining it.
“At least you’re not the latest one today,” Sasuke sneered.
“Where are Naruto and Sakura?” Kakashi asked.
Sasuke cocked an eyebrow, silently saying ‘how would I know?’ He closed his eyes and leaned further back on the wall he was standing against.
“You may be taller, but you really haven’t changed,” Kakashi said.
Sasuke glanced at him again, but with less hostility.
Finally, the two ran up. “We were here early, and a team came through with injuries,” Sakura explained. “I did some healing and Naruto carried one of them to the hospital.”
Sasuke cocked an eyebrow at them.
“We can’t begrudge you that,” Kakashi said. “We’re not very late. But we have quite a bit of ground to cover, so let’s be off.”
-----
Sukea was early. Kakashi didn’t look hurried, but he rushed home to shower and transform into his other persona. He tried to look natural as he waited outside the restaurant. Sasuke turned up freshly showered as well, wearing the same casual clothes he wore at the last dinner.
Sasuke’s face lit up at seeing him which made Kakashi feel lighter. Sasuke wasn’t much for smiling and Kakashi couldn’t remember seeing him smile before, at least not without a smirk or some evil intent. He didn’t quite smile now, but his eyes did.
“It’s nice to not have to wait for someone,” Sasuke said lightly as he walked up to him.
“Eh? Are you talking about your infamous captain? Is he still always late?”
“Always.”
“That man never changes.”
Sasuke asked for a back booth for his own privacy.
“That’s right, you knew Kakashi,” Sasuke said once their waiter left.
“I don’t know him well; we were in ANBU at the same time.”
They ordered their food.
“You said some things happened and you left ANBU. I’m curious what made you leave.”
Kakashi hesitated.
“I’m sorry; that’s a very personal question.”
“I’ll tell you. ANBU is a place where you stick to the darkness and mostly carry out assassinations or prevent them. You see and do so many dark things that it’s easy to get lost in it. That was happening to me. The people around me grew concerned and asked the Hokage that I be released from my ANBU duties. He agreed. I was lucky I had people to pull me back from the abyss. But that’s similar to you, isn’t it? You have friends who wouldn’t let you remain in your darkness.”
“Yes. I am truly grateful for them.” Sasuke surprised him by looking so serene. It made Kakashi smile, but it was a sad smile. Despite it all, Sasuke was still isolated. Yet, Sasuke was opening up to Sukea.
“Please, count me as a friend,” Kakashi asked.
“I already do.”
That warmed Kakashi.
Their food arrived.
“Were you waiting long?” Sasuke asked once they took their first few bites.
“No. I thought you might be held up or not even able to make it; I was prepared to wait. Missions can take longer than anticipated after all.”
“It was a common enough little mission,” Sasuke said, dismissing Sukea’s concerns. “Any one of my team could have done it solo. They’re still trying to acclimate me to working on a team again. I’ve been on teams; I just prefer working alone. I’m used to it; I often did missions for Orochimaru alone.”
“I liked working alone too. I learned to value my comrades though. I still find it hard to fully trust others’ abilities, but I learned that teamwork is invaluable.”
“Kakashi hammered that into us, but I also don’t trust other people. I do trust my team, but I don’t like having to depend on anyone.”
“At least you have teammates you do trust.”
“Hn. Did you go on a mission?” Sasuke asked.
“I’m not a shinobi anymore.”
“Of course. Any interesting work?”
“No. Just documenting the rebuilding effort here in Konoha.”
Sasuke smirked; he was convinced Sukea was not retired. “You must have more interesting jobs.”
“I travel around for stories.”
“To the east and west?” Sasuke asked with a smirking smile, remembering their first meeting.
“Naturally.”
“No breaking into ANBU records?”
“Not recently,” Kakashi answered with a soft smile.
“Doing a thing like that again sounds like fun.”
“What do you do for fun?” Kakashi was honestly curious.
“Fun?” Sasuke considered. “The closest thing to fun I’ve had is missions. I do find some missions enjoyable, but real fun? I don’t think I’ve done something like that since that little mission of ours four years ago.”
“I understand enjoying missions, but it’s unfortunate you don’t have something fun to do.”
Sasuke shrugged. “I haven’t had time to play games. I don’t have much in the way of friends either. Work, training, and meditating, that’s all I really do.”
Kakashi’s eyes were soft, almost sympathetic. “That’s regrettable, not having friends. You said you couldn’t speak to your contemporaries, but what about your sensei?”
“I don’t really think of him as my sensei anymore; he’s our captain now. Things have been awkward with him since before I came home. I’m embarrassed by my words and behavior. He must forgive me to some extent to work with me, but I don’t know it for a fact.”
“You should try talking to him; clear the air.”
“Hn,” Sasuke agreed.
“You don’t talk to your teammates, so why is it you talk to me?”
“We have history, but it isn’t negative like it is with everyone else I know. You also must know what I’ve done—whether you’re a journalist or a shinobi—but you’re still willing to spend time with me and you seem comfortable. Most people are tense when I’m around. I find you familiar and refreshing.”
Kakashi almost blushed. “Thank you. I do know a good bit of your history, but I don’t believe you had bad intentions.”
“Oh, but at one point, I did. I considered burning this village to ground. I was a little . . . stressed at the time.”
That made Kakashi chuckle. Stressed was the understatement of the year.
They felt very easy with each other and the meals they ordered met with the other’s taste. Sasuke asked to try some of Kakashi’s fish and took a morsel with permission and offered Kakashi the same. They ended up picking off each other’s plates freely.
“What did happen between you and your sensei anyway? If you don’t mind my asking.”
Sasuke chewed silently for a minute. His expression was contemplative, not angry. “Where should I start?” he asked with a slight huff.
“When did it start going bad?”
“I guess the very night I left the village. He took me under his wing and trained me, but when I saw Naruto was more powerful than me, I snapped. He tried to calm me down, even sharing some personal information with me—which I will not be sharing with a journalist. I might have stayed, but Orochimaru’s personal guard came for me that same night. The reason I left was that I felt I needed more power quickly, that I was wasting my time in Konoha. I had to get stronger; not just stronger, but stronger than Naruto. If I couldn’t beat Naruto, I couldn’t beat my brother.
“Orochimaru did have much to teach me and I don’t regret my time with him. Everyone might believe he corrupted my heart, but I just shut it away, only feeling and feeding my desire for revenge.
“I’m not sure what you’ve heard, but I didn’t kill Orochimaru, I absorbed him, overcame his consciousness which was trying to take me over. I didn’t kill my brother either. He was ill and he fought until he dropped dead right in front of me. He meant to give me peace, but before I could find it, one of the Akatsuki told me the truth about my brother.”
Kakashi nodded. “The story of your brother has circulated the shinobi world; you don’t need to reopen that wound.”
“I joined Akatsuki, to avenge my brother. It was after I defeated Danzo that I met Kakashi again. I was just so full of rage. I said some terrible things and tried to kill all three of my former teammates, the only family I had left. If they were dead, I could do anything; no conscience, no mercy, no looking back. Kakashi stopped me from killing Sakura and Naruto stopped me from attacking Kakashi.
“I still wanted to destroy everything that existed at my brother’s expense. But then I met my reanimated brother and he helped dissuade me. It was talking to the former Hokage that led me to join the war. Though, even after that, I still wanted to kill the Kage and Naruto and destroy the tailed beasts. Kakashi was angry with me.” His smirk was very nearly a smile.
“I had plans to create a lasting peace in this world by bearing the hatred of all shinobi and keeping them unified, to create a new world where the tragedies of the past would not be repeated. But Naruto didn’t agree with me.
“We didn’t really talk after the war, Kakashi and I. He really just accepted me back, but I still feel we never settled things between us. He still smiles and jokes around, acting like a lazy, carefree bastard, but I keep wondering how he really feels. He acts like he trusts me, but I doubt it. Naruto does; we really did settle things. Sakura will love me no matter what. But Kakashi . . . He’s too wise to trust me.”
“Humph. I guess I’m just as foolish as your friends Naruto and Sakura.”
“Not foolish. Just . . . uneducated.” Sasuke smirked with good humor and Kakashi returned it.
“No, he can trust me. So can you.”
“I do. And I think he does too. Kakashi’s not a man who hides his resentments. Trust me; he’s very blunt when he doesn’t trust or believe in you.”
“Hmmm. He did tell us flat out when he met us that he thought we were a bunch of idiots. He was probably right.”
“He’ll tell you bluntly that you’re unreliable or an idiot, that he thinks you’ll die or get your comrades killed because he expects you do something about that. He wants you to earn his trust and respect.”
“I’m trying. I complete our missions faithfully and to the best of my abilities. I want to earn it.”
“I’m sure you have. If you hadn’t, he’d have told you. I have known him longer than you have. I think he always trusted and respected you. We were never close, but I can tell you I never saw him happier than when he was your jounin sensei.”
Sasuke deflated a bit. “And I ruined that happiness.”
“He was darker in ANBU, but we were all darker then. Except that kid from Root. Going from Root to ANBU is a step toward the light; going from a regular shinobi to ANBU is step toward the dark.
“He was worried about you after you left, but I don’t think he was disappointed in you.” Kakashi didn’t think he ever felt disappointed in Sasuke until that little reunion after he killed Danzo. Maybe he felt disappointed in himself since he couldn’t keep Sasuke from leaving and seeking power and revenge. “But then again, I don’t really know him that well. Talk to him. I’m sure he doesn’t resent you. Talk to him.”
“I will. Thank you for listening to my problems. Thank you for your advice.”
“You’re welcome. What are friends for?” Kakashi smiled.
Sasuke almost smiled.
They both stretched as they stepped back out onto the street.
“I’d like to continue hanging out with you,” Sasuke said.
“I keep my ear to the ground, so I’ll know when you’re in town.”
“Need to keep your cover?”
“I’m—”
“—retired, I know.”
-----
The next mission was a long one. They were deep in the Land of Rivers. Sasuke took first watch, he stared at the fire, his sword leaning on his shoulder. Kakashi napped, but he wasn’t deeply asleep since he had second watch. He gave up on trying to actually sleep and got up to sit beside Sasuke. Sasuke didn’t ask stupid questions, just accepted that his captain joined him.
“Want to go to sleep?” Kakashi asked quietly. “I’ll start my watch.”
“Actually, I’d like to talk to you, if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind.” They were quiet enough not to wake their teammates.
“I wanted to apologize for the things I did and said just before the war. I don’t regret joining Orochimaru because I learned much from him, but I regret my behavior afterward to you three, especially my words to you. I wanted to properly apologize. Clear the air between us.”
“You did break my heart, but I understand. You came back, that’s what’s important. I forgive you.”
“Thank you.”
“Actually, I’m very proud of you. The Third may have been a little ashamed of Orochimaru, but I am immensely proud of you. You became more powerful than me, took my own technique to heights I couldn’t imagine, and you were tempted by evil, but you resisted it.”
Sasuke smiled softly. “Even I’m not proud of all that I did. It means a lot that you feel pride for me. Thank you.”
Kakashi put a fatherly hand on Sasuke’s neck. “Get some sleep.”
Sasuke did as he was told. Kakashi was glad that he, as Sukea, convinced Sasuke to talk to him. He’d been truthful: he was very proud of Sasuke. Maybe now that was off Sasuke’s chest, they could be closer.
-----
Kakashi practically teleported home to change into his other identity. He did his best to look unflustered when he leaned up against a wall outside Sasuke’s apartment building. Kakashi knew Sasuke would decompress after the mission on the training grounds before going home. He wasn’t sure if he was early or late, but he loitered there for half an hour. He was about to just go up to Sasuke door, when Sasuke appeared down the street.
“Eh, Sukea?”
“I heard you were back. Want to have dinner again? After you freshen up, of course.”
Kakashi died a little when Sasuke smiled at him.
“How about sushi tonight?” Sasuke suggested.
Kakashi nodded. “I’ll meet you at the sushi bar in an hour.”
-----
They sat next to each other at the bar. This was a fancier place; it was quite and nearly empty.
“I took your advice and I talked to Kakashi.” Sasuke blushed. “He forgave me and said he was proud of me.”
“I’m glad! I knew he wouldn’t hold anything against you.”
“Thank you for encouraging me to talk to him. It was terribly awkward though.”
Kakashi was surprised by that; he didn’t think the conversation was awkward at all. Sasuke seemed calm and confident. If anything, Kakashi had put himself out there more, bearing his own heart to Sasuke. Sasuke did little more than apologize.
“I’m not good with people. I don’t normally talk as much as I talk to you.”
“You do fine with me.”
“I find you easy to talk to. I’m not sure why.”
“Whatever the reason, I’m glad.”
They started talking about the state of the village. There was talk of expanding. With the entire village basically being flattened, everything would be new and modernized. Also, with the end of a major war, though many had died, population booms tended to follow. New alliances and modernization would likely bring a longer peace and more innovation and entertainment. Their world was about to change.
“I don’t know how I feel about that,” Sasuke admitted. “I started to hate this village because my family was sacrificed to preserve it, but it was also my home. Now, it doesn’t look or feel the same. Part of me is glad, but I feel estranged from it as well.”
“I’m not too fond of the changes either. I may leave a lot, but I always come home. It doesn’t look like my home, but the people who I care about and care about me are here, so it is home.”
“You have a family?” Sasuke asked.
“No. All shinobi; all dead.”
Sasuke didn’t say anything, but the way he looked down, he was commiserating with him. They were both orphans.
“But I have friends. Just a few, but they are something to come home to.”
“You’re the only friend I have who isn’t on my team. I have been looking forward to seeing you when I come home.”
“I’m glad. I look forward to our meetings too.”
“Maybe you and I should sneak into the records room again, hunt out Kakashi’s file again.”
“I don’t know. With your recent history, you may get into a lot more trouble than a little scolding from the Hokage and your sensei.”
“That’s true. We should cook up another little mission though, just for fun.”
“A prank on one of your teammates? Trick your captain into showing his face?”
Sasuke’s smile was slightly evil. “Something like that. As long as you’re not rusty,” he said with a slight mock.
“Rusty? You have no idea how much shinobi skills aide in journalism.”
-----
The day after they came home from their next mission, Kakashi went to Sasuke’s apartment. He was home as always.
“Hungry?” Sukea asked.
“Famished.”
Ichiraku Ramen tonight. Sasuke approached carefully as if they were approaching a well-fortified enemy base. He was tense and searched the area, moving his eyes far more than his head.
“Um, something the matter?” Kakashi asked.
“Naruto practically lives here. I don’t want him interrupting us.”
Kakashi laughed. “If he’s anything like he was before, we’d hear him long before he could spot either of us.”
“Hn.” But Sasuke relaxed and raised the banner with the back of his hand, hesitating to check that the coast was clear, then he sat down.
They ordered their ramen and reminisced over their first meeting.
“Did you ever learn how to pick a lock?” Kakashi teased.
“That was high level ANBU lock.” Sasuke almost pouted. “I would have had it in another minute or two.”
“I presume you could open one now in a reasonable time.”
“Of course.”
“I nearly wet myself when we were caught.”
“Honestly, me too. I really believe his secrets are protected by some sort of divines.”
Kakashi laughed. “The way we were crossed at every turn, I believe it.”
Sasuke laughed at his own thought. “I remember how Sakura said she hated handsome guys who do nasty things. In retrospect, wouldn’t that be me?”
Kakashi laughed. “I almost blushed when she said I was handsome! Poor girl; she has poor taste in men.”
“She may hate us handsome bad boys, but she can’t help crushing on us.”
“From the sound of that, I guess you don’t share her feelings.”
“I guess I need to think about my clan, but I’m not even seventeen. Those are responsibilities I don’t want to trouble with yet.”
“So, ‘maybe’?”
“I don’t know. I know she loves me, but I’m not sure I can requite her feelings.”
“She seems like a sweet girl with strength to her. However, it’s important that you’re happy too. You should find someone who you love.”
“Hn,” he said with soft smile. “You are probably the only person who considers my own wants and happiness. Everyone else expects so much of me or thinks they know better. I even felt pressure when I was living with Orochimaru; most of it was from myself, but the old snake had expectations too. Normal people have no idea how lucky they are. To be free of all this pressure to be powerful and carry on a noble clan.”
“I understand some of what you feel; I put a lot on myself to become a great shinobi, but I can’t know just how hard it’s all been for you.”
“Hn. I’m glad someone can understand, even a little.”
“I’m sure most young members of noble clans feel the same.”
“Member of a noble clan?” Sasuke eyed him playfully.
“Nope. My family is nothing special.”
“Hn.”
-----
They met again a week later. Kakashi would have sought Sasuke out right after their last mission, but he didn’t want to come off as desperate or clingy. He was supposed to be a journalist who was often out of the village anyway.
Sasuke was wearing a nicer outfit than usual, a black montsuki, an open halfcoat with his family crest on either side of his chest. He wore a normal black shirt under it and normal dark grey pants. It was a nice mixture of traditional and modern. Kakashi felt underdressed.
“Are we going somewhere fancy?” Kakashi asked.
“No. I just don’t get to wear my montsuki often. I’m a traditionalist at heart.”
“Well, it looks great.”
“Thank you. I had it made shortly after I arrived home.”
They walked from Sasuke’s apartment building to a restaurant which specialized in traditional dishes, matching Sasuke’s attire. They took a booth near the back.
They shared an ala carte meal of sashimi, unagi, oden, and onigiri and started swapping stories.
“Then my teammate runs up, trying to be all cool with his moves, and falls flat on his face.”
Sasuke nearly laughed out loud, covering his smile and silent snort of humor with his hand.
“I was shocked he didn’t break his nose or a cheekbone,” Kakashi added, nearly laughing himself. “I was so pissed at the time, I didn’t laugh. Even having faceplanted in the mud, he still was trying to be all suave and confident in front of us.”
“He reminds me of Naruto,” Sasuke said. “Always trying to impress Sakura or show me up. He was the worst student in my class. The first time we went up against Kakashi, Kakashi got behind the little idiot. He made the seal of the tiger. I thought he was going to use a fire jutsu and just annihilate the loser. Kakashi called it ‘Secret Hidden Finger Jutsu: A Thousand Years of Death.”
Kakashi had to suppress any expression of remembrance or humor.
“It was just that prank . . . what was it called? Kanchō? He poked him in the ass hard enough to send him flying.”
Kakashi let out his suppressed laugher. It was even funnier now than it was at the time.
“When I went up against him, he buried me up to the neck in the ground using an earth style jutsu.”
Kakashi chucked at that.
“When Sakura came across me, she thought my head had been chopped off and was talking to her.”
Kakashi didn’t know about that; he must have been messing with Naruto at the time. He laughed harder than he ever had in his life. He knew he fucked with the girl’s head and she was a silly child, but that was hilarious. Sasuke started laughing as well, as much at the memory as in response to Sukea’s laughter.
“Of course, there was the time Naruto got up on the desk to glare at me and someone knocked him into me. I guess you could say that was my first kiss.”
Kakashi laughed.
“And then there was Seugetsu, my teammate after I defeated Orochimaru.”
“Don’t tell me he kissed you too.”
Sasuke smirked. “I stopped him from killing someone. He asked me menacingly how I was going to compensate him. He just wanted seven cups of yogurt.”
Kakashi figured that was the Kiri-nin. That shark-toothed psychopath having an obsession with yogurt was certainly funny.
“I had a male teammate once who got possessed by a girl—you don’t want to know the details—but seeing my kohai act like a little girl . . .” Kakashi clasped his hands and held them up to his face like an excited girl.
Sasuke laughed.
“He talked and acted like her for a bit. I didn’t tease him too much about it.”
“Naruto likes to transform into a naked woman as a distraction. She looks too much like Naruto for me to get distracted or attracted to her.”
“Is she sexy though?” Kakashi asked. “I am a photographer after all.”
Sasuke scoffed. “I like blondes as much as the next man, but I don’t find fem-Naruto all that sexy. I have to give Naruto the fact his chest is bigger than Sakura’s.”
That made Kakashi chuckle. Yeah, poor girl never did develop in that way. “I never thought about taking gravure photos.” He put his hand to his chin and considered it.
“I’m not sure there are many girls in this village would be good candidates. Except Ino maybe. Hinata too. Her father would eviscerate you though.”
Kakashi smiled.
“You’d have more luck with the men in this village,” Sasuke said. “They’re less likely to beat you senseless if you asked.”
“Yeah, the women of this village are pretty violent.”
“And the men are showoffs.”
“Particularly your team.”
“Not just my team. No one in this village seem to understand the concept of staying hidden in the shadows.”
“I’ll grant you that.”
“Except maybe you. I never heard of you before or after that mission four years ago.”
“I travel a lot.”
Sasuke cocked an eyebrow at him.
“You really don’t believe I’m retired.”
“I’ve been looking into you and there’s hardly a whisper about you. Where you were mentioned, it was in places and times when there appeared to be shinobi action.”
Kakashi cocked his head to the side. “The best kind of photographer is the kind that can stay hidden.”
-----
They stepped out into the street together. It was a lovely evening. Kakashi took a deep breath.
“Walk with me,” Sasuke said.
“Alright.” Kakashi was enjoying his time with Sasuke and was happy for the excuse.
They didn’t talk; the silence was comfortable.
“Want some tea?” Sasuke asked when they arrived at his apartment building.
“I’d love some.”
This was Kakashi’s first time inside Sasuke’s apartment. It was spare and very traditional. The only real decoration was a blue banner with his clan symbol painted on it and a sword on a rack. The room was pretty depressing. It was a studio like his old one though this one was darker and less open. Kakashi remembered the large windows and sliding glass door to the balcony. This one had only one window over the bed. He didn’t like it. It was close to being claustrophobic, but felt like a den or warren, dark and cramped.
“Have a seat. I’ll start the water.”
There were two cushions at the low table, but one didn’t look like it’d ever been used. Sasuke never had visitors. The second cushion probably came with the table set. Kakashi took the newer cushion.
Sasuke busied himself with plating some rice crackers for snacks as the water heated. He added the tea leaves and water to the pot and brought it to the table, then retrieved the cups and crackers. Sasuke moved his cushion from opposite Kakashi to sharing a corner with him.
“Arigato,” Kakashi said as Sasuke took his seat. He was surprised Sasuke sat so close but wasn’t averse to it.
Sasuke poured for them both when it was finished steeping.
“Itadakimasu,” they said together before taking the first sip.
The easy silence lasted for half a cup.
“The tea is from Kiri,” Sasuke said.
“It’s very good.”
“That’s one of the benefits of this new peaceful world: better trade.”
They chatted for a while about the changing political landscape since the end of the war. New treaties and non-aggression pacts, trade deals and alliances. They finished the pot and Kakashi moved to lean back against the bare wall near him, Sasuke turned more to face him.
“I’m curious why a man like you isn’t married,” Sasuke said once the political topics had been exhausted.
“Hm? I almost had a girlfriend. I know she was serious about her feelings for me, but I felt unworthy of her affections. Before I could decide what my feelings were, she died. After that, I just didn’t put myself out there. I had a few one-night stands, but never a relationship.”
“There was a woman who was even more obsessed with me than Sakura. Karin. She was the first person I ever had sex with, but she drugged me.” He said it lightly and seemed amused by it. “A mild paralytic and an aphrodisiac. I’d stonewalled her very obvious attentions for so long, she got fed up and just, let’s be frank, raped me. Not to make light of such a thing, but I was more annoyed than anything. I didn’t feel violated really, just annoyed. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but I wasn’t really attracted to her. Yet, had she gotten pregnant from that, I might have felt a bit relieved to not be the last Uchiha—even though my brother was still alive at that point.”
“Wow. That’s goes way beyond stalker. I never had a woman that into me.”
“That surprises me. I mean, you are very attractive and soft spoken. And despite throwing us to wolves when we got caught in the archives, you don’t seem like a bad person.”
Kakashi smiled at the reminder. “Thank you. But I was ANBU; we’re all bad people.” Kakashi’s expression was pleasant.
“ANBU and shinobi, none of us are virtuous.”
“And I’m a journalist to boot. Scum of the earth,” he added good humoredly. “Is that girl still vying for your affections?”
“No, she’s staying with Orochimaru to make sure he remains a good boy after his ‘pardon’.”
“I guess it’s not unusual for a man as handsome as you to have stalkers.”
Sasuke suddenly looked more calculating. His eyes sharpened and his smirk relaxed.
“I used to have a few. I am a little disappointed Ino lost interest in me. She is a beautiful woman. Karin was fed up with me. Sakura is the only one now.”
“I doubt that. Maybe she’s the only one brave enough to make her feelings known.”
“True, there could more. I wouldn’t be surprised if I had a few male admirers too.”
“No doubt,” Kakashi said sincerely. “You aren’t the most approachable person, but if you were, I’m sure you’d have your pick of the village, male and female.”
“My pick, eh? There’s really one person who’s attracted my attention.”
“Oh?” Kakashi was shocked that Sasuke was actually interested in someone. The part of him that felt parentally protective of his students was suspicious though. “Who’s that?”
“Beside my team, the one person who doesn’t fear me and enjoys my company.”
At first, Kakashi didn’t make the connection—he was on Sasuke’s team—but then he realized Sasuke meant ‘Sukea’. Him. A look at Sasuke’s eyes confirmed that.
“Eh? Me?”
“I don’t want to jeopardize the friendship we’ve built, but yeah, if you’re open to it.”
Kakashi was just shocked. The way they were both talking were like heterosexual men. What the honest fuck?
That question was plastered on his unmasked face.
“I’m actually bisexual,” Sasuke admitted.
“Oh.”
Sasuke gave him a full sincere smile at that simple response. “You really have become my closest friend in the last few weeks and become important to me. I also find you really attractive.”
Their proximity seemed far closer than it had a minute ago. All Sasuke had to do was unfold his legs and kneel forward to reach him. He hesitated before leaning in to kiss him.
Kakashi was a little less strict about his mask when having sex; he’d kissed two women who were among the few who had knowingly seen his face. One was just a few kisses during sex and the other he had made out with. So, he had experience in kissing, but never before had he felt pleasure just from a kiss. A thrill ran through him, making his cock harden.
Sasuke moved more in front of Kakashi to deepen the kiss. Fuuck. He tasted of tea, but he could also taste Sasuke’s native flavor. The kiss itself was softer than Kakashi would have imagined Sasuke to kiss. It wasn’t aggressive; no teeth, no jockeying for dominance, just tender exploration.
Sasuke put a hand on Kakashi’s shoulder to steady himself and reached down with his other hand to grab Kakashi’s and guide it to his own groin. Kakashi let himself be guided. He was surprised by the hardness he felt there. He’d never felt another man’s cock before, even through cloth. Kakashi was embarrassed at first, but then he realized Sasuke was aroused by him and he was flattered. He tentatively stroked Sasuke’s erection through his pants.
Sasuke moved his own hand to Kakashi’s hardening cock. Sasuke stroked when Kakashi stroked. It was such a strange sensation. It was like masturbation, but not. And it felt so good. He was fully hard after a few seconds.
Sasuke moaned and pulled back. “Sukea,” he whispered in a rough voice.
With every fiber of his being—and Kakashi was feeling every fiber right now—he wished his name was Sukea.
This time, Kakashi was the one who leaned in for a kiss. As much as he was turned on by all this, he wasn’t sure what he wanted, he just wanted this feeling to go on.
Sasuke was the one to pull away again. He gave a parting lick to Kakashi’s lips and then waited for Kakashi to open his eyes again. “I go both ways.”
That comment brought Kakashi back down to earth; his hand stilled. It wasn’t even just that Sasuke wanted to go all the way with him, it was that Sasuke just implied he’d had sex with a man before. And taken both roles. With who? But that wasn’t a question ‘Sukea’ could ask. Kakashi wasn’t even sure it was a question ‘Kakashi’ could ask.
Kakashi fumbled his response. “I’ve . . . never . . . with a man.”
Sasuke’s eyes grew softer rather than predatory or seductive. It looked like sympathy to Kakashi, but he wasn’t entirely sure that was something Sasuke possessed. Maybe that was just how Sasuke displayed affection. And that scared Kakashi more than anything else about this encounter.
Somehow, when Sasuke moved his hand from his erection to his thigh, it felt more intimate. The handjob was simple pleasure; the hand on the thigh was an invitation to something much more intimate.
Could Kakashi take that step? Should he take that step? His own student? A much younger man. A man.
But he wasn’t ‘Kakashi’ right now. Sasuke didn’t want to have sex with ‘Kakashi’, he wanted to have sex with ‘Sukea’.
The moment stretched. Sasuke understood and waited. Kakashi didn’t really come to a conclusion. But his hand came up and stroked Sasuke’s hair. He always loved Sasuke’s hair, how it seemed to shine blue in certain light, how it stuck out in the back. He never considered how soft it would be.
Then he let his hand stray down to Sasuke’s pale cheek. It was soft too. Sasuke shut his eyes and all his defenses dropped. Sasuke was suddenly laid bare. That scared Kakashi again. It wasn’t about ‘Kakashi’, Sasuke was putting himself in ‘Sukea’s’ hands. They were already intimate at this point. Sasuke was still fully clothed, but he was naked to him right now. Sasuke had no stoic expression to hide behind, no insulting smirk, his posture wasn’t closed off or defensive. There was potential here to learn who Sasuke really was.
But Sasuke didn’t want to expose himself to ‘Kakashi’, he wanted ‘Sukea’. Kakashi’s heart dropped. This wasn’t real. Yes, he found Kakashi attractive, but whatever Sasuke felt for him wasn’t for ‘him’. To accept Sasuke’s affections would be disingenuous.
Kakashi leaned forward to give Sasuke a short kiss on the lips. “I really want to, but what you’re offering . . . I haven’t earned it.”
Sasuke’s eyes had opened wider at the rejection, but they softened again when he understood. He gave Kakashi an identical kiss. “Didn’t you just earn it?” Sasuke asked, his lips moving against Kakashi’s.
“No.”
Sasuke granted him a small smile and then leaned in to hug him. Kakashi answered the embrace, holding his dear student tightly. “Earn it,” Sasuke whispered.
Kakashi’s arms and lips trembled. It had been only a scant few minutes since Sasuke initiated the first kiss. It took that long for Kakashi to fall in love. He didn’t know what Sasuke actually felt for him or for Sukea.
“You aren’t going to wander off now, are you?” Sasuke asked into the silence.
“It is my job.”
“As long as you come back.”
“I always do.”
Sasuke pulled back again and gave Kakashi a brief kiss. “Hn.”
-----
By the time Kakashi got home—longer than normal since he made sure Sasuke didn’t follow him—his erection was gone. He unpinned his wig with frustration. He never intended this. He tossed the wig onto a dresser and sat on his bed. He rubbed his newly freed hair.
He wondered where Sasuke got that confidence. As far as he knew, Sasuke had never approached anyone for sex or a relationship, so how could he come on to ‘Sukea’ so easily? But, as far as he knew, Sasuke was a virgin and that appeared to be false. The thought of Sasuke having sex aroused him, but it also angered him. Sasuke was barely an adult! Who was it? He hoped it wasn’t Orochimaru. Or Kabuto. The thought of either of them having sex, much less with Sasuke, made him shudder. He crossed his arms over his stomach as if in pain.
Sasuke had to be experienced. The way he kissed and touched him. The confidence with which he seduced him. He felt a throb deep inside him accompanied by a weeping of precum coming from his cock. His erection was back full force.
He stood to push down his pants and boxers, freeing his cock. He sat back down and lay back to tug at his erection. He brought a hand up and rubbed the back of his hand against his lips hoping that could recall the ecstasy of Sasuke’s lips. It didn’t. He fisted the sheets instead as he masturbated. Just the thought of Sasuke and sex had his cock throbbing.
He knew his own cock well and knew how to bring himself of quickly, but the orgasm that was approaching was more powerful than any before. That hand on the sheets returned his to mouth the stifle the cry of pleasure.
He pumped his cock a few more times as he rode out his orgasm. His stomach was glittering in the faint light from the window on the sheen of sweat and the splashes of semen.
He dropped both his arms to the bed. He felt empty. That wasn’t a foreign feeling after jerking off, but it seemed deeper and more hollow this time.
Sasuke probably jerked off as soon as he left.
Kakashi felt more ashamed than he ever had in life. He deceived his student, kissed him, then jerked off to him. He felt dirty and empty. But his lips tingled with the memory of that kiss and the desire for another. His skin puckered at the remembered heat of Sasuke’s touch even through his clothes.
He lay a little longer then got up to shower, shedding the rest of Sukea along the way. Kakashi normally slept without his mask, but he couldn’t tonight. In times like these, it was a security blanket of sorts. He needed that little comfort now.
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