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The Pillow Book of Mitarashi Anko	By : JigokuDayu Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 8052 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the Naruto characters. I'm not making any money off this.

Chapter List
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What a mess this day has been! At this rate, I'm going to have to stop going out in public.
I was sitting in the dango shoppe, having a good meal, when I was interrupted.
"Mind if I have this seat?" It was Kakashi. His stupid book was open in his hand.
"Knock yourself out," I replied after swallowing the food in my mouth.
He sat down next to me and made idle chit-chat. I hate small talk. As if I could care what the weather was like or how many missions the Hokage wanted him to take on.
After a few minutes, he took a deep breath, which caught my attention. "May I ask you something?" Kakashi looked up from his book and at me.
"Go ahead." A sense of dread took over me. Whatever was on his mind, it couldn't possibly be good. I was praying it wasn't going to be a continuation of Izumo and Kotetsu's inappropriate line of questioning from that one night.
"What do you think of me? What's your opinion?" It's disconcerting to be asked this by Kakashi. His voice and mannerisms smack of not caring about much of anything, and this time was no different. He's constantly so oblivious to the world around him, I was honestly taken aback that he was even bothering to engage me in conversation in the first place. Of the few times he's spoken to me previously, it was just to be rude and arrogant.
Circumspect, I raised my eyebrows. "Honestly?"
"Sure," he said. His mask moved in a way which I assume was from a smile. If he did care one way or the other, he was in for it.
I took a deep breath before I began. "I don't exactly like you. No offence or anything, but I think you're a pompous arse who thinks the rules don't apply to him."
"You think I disregard the rules? How so?" With only the one eye visible, it's always tough to gauge what little emotion he does show. He appeared sleepy, if anything, but my guess is he was a little confused.
"You're always reading that smut. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with smut, but I don't think you should be reading it on the job. And especially not in front of your students. And you always show up late. For everything." I pictured Orochimaru then. He would never do any of the ridiculous things Kakashi does. Why weren't more men like him? Of course, that's asking a lot of the lowly maggots who infest this planet. They can't all be gods.
He shrugged his shoulders. "My books have never really distracted me. I can multi-task with ease. As for them being inappropriate, it's not like I let anyone read over my shoulder." Kakashi then put the book away. (About damn time!) He looked down at his hands. "My chronic tardiness - well, I have my reasons for that. Aren't we all allowed some faults?"
"Hey, I know I act like a kid and I like sweets too much, but I take my job seriously and I devote all my attention to it." I punctuated this with a swig of azuki soup.
"My life has been difficult. I have so many regrets and have had even more losses," he sighed.
"You think my life has been easier? I've lost everything that was dear to me. Yet I'm still gung ho about getting things done and I don't show up late all the time." Orochimaru's eyes swam through my brain. His face took shape around them, making me feel slightly dizzy.
"Is it so wrong of me to spend as much time as I can grieving my fallen comrades?" He sounded a bit upset, but his expression remained the same.
I groaned under my breath. "If mourning over the past is interfering so much with being a ninja, maybe you should try finding another job. We have to live in the present. Shinobi cannot afford to wallow in memories of the past, no matter how much we might like to." I could swear that the ghostly apparition of Orochimaru's hand was reaching into my chest at that moment and squeezing my heart like a vise.
His one dark eye squinted at me. "What are you saying, Anko? That my nindo is wrong because it's different from yours?"
"Look, don't you think I'd like to break the rules? I could abandon the village, be an S-Rank criminal, and do whatever the hell I feel like. Yet I don't. I follow the rules and do what I'm supposed to. I maintain my honour even though it has cost me the one thing left in the world that matters to me." My eyelids sank shut. The honour I get from this village means less and less to me with each passing day.
"If you're talking about Oro-"
"Don't!" I choked out, grasping the table till my knuckles began to whiten. "Don't even speak his name..." My eyes became misty. A sob almost escaped my throat, but I forced it back down.
"So we're both miserable, flawed people. It doesn't have to be a big deal. We don't have to let it get to us." There he was, back to his nonchalant self again. "Maybe some night we could go out for dinner and be miserable together? We might end up a little less miserable. And who knows, I might even start to grow on you."
Ay, shit! Why did Kakashi have to try to pick me up? It made me so incredibly uncomfortable. Like trying to choke down someone's awful cooking without dry-heaving. In fact, I felt like I could dry-heave right there.
Having lost my appetite, I pushed my plate away. I turned around in my seat and leaned my back against the table. "Ah, I don't think that's such a good idea. We should try to keep our relationship professional. It's less messy all around."
Kakashi looked off to the side. "It doesn't necessarily have to interfere with our work. Look at Asuma and Kurenai. They manage to get things done in their public and private lives."
I folded my arms across my chest. "Well, I'm not Kurenai."
"No. I know that. And I've been told I'm actually much better looking than Asuma." Now his expression did visibly change. He was clearly grinning as he closed his eyes tightly and his cheeks became rounder.
"Er, good for you." If he's so handsome, why does he always cover up his face? "I'm sure there are plenty of other women who would jump at the chance to go out with you. As for me, you're not my type. Neither is Asuma, for the record."
"Are you saying you don't like men in general?" he asked. Something about his tone seemed strangely hopeful. Maybe he saw the possibility as less of a blow to his ego or perhaps he was trying to imagine the scenario, in which case he could keep dreaming.
"No, I'm not a lesbian!" I snapped. "Why do men always jump to that conclusion? There's a type of man I like and it's not your type or Asuma's. That's just the way I am."
"Okay, sorry... No hard feelings." He got his book out again and resumed reading. "But if you ever change your mind..."
"I won't," I muttered. Reaching into my coat pocket, I pulled out some money and left it on the table for the cook. For the second time in a week, I was leaving a restaurant in a huff. At least this time I hadn't hit anyone.
I was able to get to a back alley before it all caught up with me. The thought of Kakashi touching me was infuriating. It made me feel so dirty. Within seconds, vomit started spewing from my mouth. A cold sweat came over me and my eyes became watery. I shuddered as the residue of bile stung my lips.
Why did he have to ask me out? I hate when blokes try to chat me up. It always makes me sick. Well, I guess if Gai tried to chat me up, I'd be too busy laughing my arse off to get queasy. I doubt that poor man's ever been laid! He's probably even dorkier when he's trying to act sexy, if that's possible. Just the thought of it is hilarious!
Kakashi shouldn't have done that. It was so wrong. But I suppose I can't blame him. He has no idea what's going on in my head. He might suspect I am still pining for Orochimaru after our talk, but he couldn't possibly guess the extent of it. He probably thinks, like Kotetsu does, that Orochimaru molested me when I was a child, or that I simply fancied him and have never gotten over his defecting from Konoha. The truth is somewhere in between and no one knows but me.
After I settled down and wiped my mouth, I headed for my flat. During the walk home, I did my best to push Kakashi from my mind and replace him with Orochimaru. He is the one I belong to. Thoughts of him began to fill my head. What would he say to me right then? What would he do?
I pictured his reaction to the evening's events. He was laughing at Kakashi as he wrapped his arms possessively around me. His tongue emerged from his mouth and was licking my face. By the time I unlocked my front door, my mood had changed dramatically.
As much as I was disgusted by the idea of Kakashi touching me, daydreaming about Orochimaru touching me made my flesh feel hot. I began shedding my clothes as I made my way to my bed, not bothering to turn on the lights. Flinging myself naked upon the mattress, I prepared myself for what I was about to do.
I wanted him, craved him. My eyes were battling to stay open as I tried to recall what his mouth tasted like and how his hair felt brushing against me. My breathing was getting heavier.
Remembering the sorts of things Orochimaru would do to me in bed makes every other man pale in comparison. He could use his tongue in ways no one could imagine. He'd usually get me off four or five times before he'd let me sleep. And then the other things he'd do if the mood suited him... Things Jiraiya could never dream of writing in his foolish books. I've not read more than a few pages of one, but it was enough to convince me that the men who are into it are mere amateurs.
Once more, I conjured my sensei up in my imagination. His eyes hadn't left my mind. Orochimaru's form began to take shape in the darkness of my room. A white yukata just barely clinging to his equally white flesh was accentuated by his beautiful hair. God, he looked so good.
This vision wasn't nearly enough for me. I wanted more, and there would be more. I willed him to be in my room, to come closer, to take me. When I opened my eyes, I convinced myself that I was looking right at him.
Orochimaru was there with me, touching me. "We should make Kakashi watch," he purred. "Let him see what it takes to fuck you. He could never live up to me." That turned me on even more. I certainly have no desire to be watched by that git while having sex, but the idea was hot. Orochimaru has, without a doubt, ruined me for all other men. And making Kakashi jealous would be sweet. He would see how inadequate he is!
My hands were his hands moving all over me. I pinched and twisted my left nipple and reached for my clit with my right hand as I thought about him more. His breath was hot against my neck. I knew he wasn't truly there, but it felt almost real. My imagination ran wild, filling my ears with his voice.
His body was next to mine, pressed against my bare skin. "He couldn't possibly hope to get you off the way I do." He bit down on my taut nipple as I sunk my fingernails into it to mimic the sensation.
I reached into the secret compartment in my headboard and pulled out my best vibrator. I much prefer a vibrator or any good sex toy to some filthy worm like Kakashi. I mean, I'm not the kind of girl who keeps an arsenal of huge dildos. I just have a drawer of assorted toys to assist me when I'm fantasising about Orochimaru. They don't completely alleviate my loneliness, but they get me through the night and save my fingers from cramping.
With my mind's voice, I spoke to him. "Please don't stop! Please do it!"
He pulled back and smirked. "Do what, my dear?"
"Fuck me! Please, I need it!" I was quivering at the idea of him teasing me like that, which was something he delighted in doing.
"Hmm... Since you've been such a good girl and asked nicely, I suppose I shall." That honeyed voice of his dripped all around me. He kissed my mouth deeply and then my neck.
That kiss felt so real, it made me euphoric. "I love you... I love you, Orochimaru-sama!" I wanted to scream this, but couldn't.
"Tell me I'm your master," he ordered me in his sweet whisper.
"You're my master! You're the only one I truly serve." My lips formed the words, but my voice remained silent.
He forced me further into the mattress by my shoulders as he lifted himself up slightly. "No one else can have you. You're my property. I own you, my dear." Orochimaru looked into my eyes before lowering his head down to my pelvis.
In my imagination, the vibrator became Orochimaru's tongue, swirling about my clit. Then I pretended he was fucking me, pounding his hips into mine. I soon had a very small orgasm that only lasted about two seconds. It didn't satiate me at all, so I was determined to keep going until I had one that really made me shatter with ecstasy. It's quite difficult to achieve a great climax after a minor one, but I am seldom deterred from trying.
My reverie switched to him running his tongue along my body. He began licking my stomach and working his way up to my breasts. His vast tongue slithered around them, encircling them and flicking my nipples with the tip repeatedly. I could hear him laugh wickedly as I gasped and trembled.
A moment later, he straddled my chest and started fucking my tits. I pushed them together, crushing my nipples against each other with one hand, as if his cock were actually between them. Orochimaru was swearing and thrusting savagely into my cleavage as I massaged my clit rougher with the vibrator. We were both panting hard. "Ay, fuck!" he hissed, coming all over my chest. It spilt out in beautiful strands of slimy pearls.
I still hadn't come again, so I continued. Now I envisioned him slapping my face with his cock. He gave another sinful laugh. "I know you love it, Anko-chan. You love all the filthy things I do to you. You're my insatiable, depraved tart."
And yes, I do love it. I want him to degrade me like that. I know I shouldn't and it's supposed to be gross and even insulting, but it turns me on like mad. Just thinking about it makes me melt. I don't know why the idea of being slapped in the face with his cock gets me so hot, yet it does and I really want him to do it to me.
Orochimaru sped up and smacked my cheeks harder, panting and grunting. He ejaculated once more, gushing all over my face in his rapture. "Now scream like a whore and come for me, Anko-chan!" he groaned, still in the thralls of gratification.
At last, it happened. "Orochimaru-sama! Orochimaru-sama!" I cried aloud as I finally came, not caring if my neighbours overheard. It was over-powering and all-consuming. My heart pounded so fast, it hurt. I was screaming and shaking as I quaked over and over. Intense aftershocks of pleasure rippled through my limbs. I had to stop after a few minutes of the aftershocks, as I was having trouble catching my breath.
When it was over, I found myself crying and shaking. I took hold of my pillow. Pretending it was his chest, I buried my face in it. I imagined he had his arms around me. Though I was still his possession, he was comforting me. It doesn't seem so odd to me for a master to sometimes be caring toward his slave, even if he is evil, if he wishes.
Yet it doesn't matter if he does or not, as long as I can belong to him. That's what I want, to be his property. As bad as people might think it sounds, I want to be an object for him to use as he sees fit. I couldn't touch anyone else, unless he wanted me to, for his enjoyment.
It took me so long to admit that to myself, because I am my own person and I value my free will. But it has dawned on me that this is my will, to belong to my master and to serve him. The fact that I feel I cannot follow my will is crushing. What is life without one's own true will? It is living death. No person can truly be happy going through life as a slave to the circumstances they find themselves in. In giving myself as a slave to someone because I desire it, I would actually be free. I could be happy as Orochimaru's slave.
I wish he knew that. I wish I could tell him. I would do anything to have him here with me now. If he would kiss me and wipe the tears from my eyes, it would give meaning to my existence. What am I saying? He wouldn't want to do that. He can't love me, no matter how much I beg him to. If he did love me, wouldn't he be here with me?
Sensei, I love you, but you are somewhere far away from me. All I want right now is for you to hold me. That can't be. You wouldn't allow it. I must remain alone and unwanted by the one person who matters to me.
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The Pillow Book of Mitarashi Anko