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Perfection	By : ebbiechan Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1278 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story

Chapter List
- 1-Perfection
- 2-Day 1
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"I think all my life, I have looked for validation of my being. I have been searching for someone to accept me, because I can't accept myself. I can't accept the person I am, so I try to be the person that everyone wants me"

I looked up from the little pattern of carpet I had been staring at for some time. Today was Tuesday. Group therapy day. It was one of the most dreaded moments in my life. Revealing my inner most thoughts was never my strong point. I just felt like everyone was judging me. And you would think that since everyone in the room suffers with the same illness, I would feel a lot more comfortable revealing my feelings. But I don't.

And there is that word again-illness. Funny, I didn't know I was sick. Well apparently I am, since I am sitting here in a bland grey colored room, sitting in a circle of people, talking about my problems to some woman who really doesn't care.

I mean why would she. It's not like she suffers with it. She probably goes to her nice home, to her husband and kids, drinking a glass of champagne praising whatever ominous being she believes in that her children aren't as fucked as we are.

"Naruto, did you hear what I just said?" she asked in her reprimanding tone. I hung my head in shame, knowing all eyes were on me. Once again, I prove how unworthy I am. I can't even concentrate on what she says.

"Naruto, what I said was, you have an assignment this week. Your assignment is to write down all of the things you like about your self."

I sighed, this has to be the hardest assignment yet. There isn't anything I like about myself. She knows this, hell everybody in this room knows this. Why couldn't she give me an assignment where I name all my flaws? That would be an easy assignment to do.

The session had ended. I sat in my seat next to the window and stared out to the people walking by. They looked so happy and content with their lives. I wondered what it would feel like to be happy; to be content with myself. But then again, they could just be putting up a front that their lives are great, but are really full of shit. They could just be as unhappy as I am, and here I am envious of them.

"Excuse me?"

I looked up to see a boy with red hair standing over me. I had been so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize he had been standing there. I wonder how long he had been standing there, and whether he was judging me. There my mind goes again.

"H-Hi" Look at you. You can't even say hi without stuttering.

"My name is Garra and I have wanted to talk to you for a long time, but I never had the courage to do so."

Now look at yourself, you can't even come up with a logical response to his statement. He probably wants something from you. No one in there right mind would ever be your friend.

"I'm Naruto."

You two won't ever be that close, so don't get your hope up.

"Well I have to get going, it was nice meeting you Naruto."

Look at you, you drove him away. What the fuck is wrong with you?

The rest of the day was windy, or at least Naruto thought so. He was in the process of walking to his friend's Kiba's and Shikamaru's apartment. He still couldn't really figure out why they were friends. He was fucked up in the head, so why out of all people, did they choose him.

He had known them since high school. They were an unlikely bunch, but somehow their differences brought them closer together. Shikamaru was a lazy bastard, but was incredibly smart. He could have been a top student, but that wasn't how he worked. It pissed Naruto off . Kiba was very blunt and not the sharpest tool in the tool shed. Naruto laughed, remembering some of the stupid rash things they did as teens. But such foolish things are in the past, as the present shuns that kind of behavior.

Naruto gathered the fabric of his light jacket and wrapped it around his body. He walked up the stairs to their apartment and quietly knocked on the door.

Coming outside was a hard enough task as it was, he really wished someone would hurry up and answer the door. Naruto heard muffled words, a yelp, and a loud smack. Concluding, Naruto assumed the yelp came from Kiba clumsily running into something. Then Shikamaru laughed, which resulted in him getting smacked.

The door opened with Shikamaru rubbing the back of his neck. Naruto had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. He walked in, their place was kind of like home to him. Offering comfort that he never got at his place. Sometimes he wished he would have accepted their offer to move in, but he didn't want to burden them.

"Naruto, what brings you here?" Kiba moved from his stance at the door, to sitting on the tan couch in the middle of the room. To be honest, Naruto didn't know why he was here either. He just had a feeling that this was the place to be.

"Yea Naruto, why are you here? Did something happen? Are you okay?" It was in Shikamru's nature to be an over protective worrier. He almost gave off the aura of a mother. It was rather cute.

Kiba on the other hand, was the complete opposite. Not that he didn't worry, he just didn't bombard you with worrisome questions.

"Shikamaru, stop acting like a mom. Naruto is just fine. He just probably missed us and wanted to come see us."

"Actually that's not it."

Naruto had never been one to beat around the bush. He was a very blunt individual. The problem was that he needed to feel comfortable around you.

"I'm hurt. You don't love us anymore?" Kiba could be an over dramatic prick when he wanted to be. Naruto and Shikamaru just shook their heads, ignoring him.

"Then why are you here ?"

"I don't know actually. But now that I am here, I need your help. We got an assignment today in therapy."

"What is it about"

"I have to list the things I like about myself"

Anyone in the world could think of things they liked about themselves, but not Naruto. There was nothing he liked about himself. There was always something he could change or improve. He had this sick fascination with being utterly flawless; being some perfect person, and it is taking its toll.

It was like a festering scab, oozing blood and puss. The scab could only hold so long, before it bust open, letting the blood and puss run free, overtaking everything in its path.

Naruto could only keep in control for so long, before his obsession took over him completely.

"Well what do you like about yourself?" Naruto could have sworn Shikamru had asked an rhetorical question. Shikamaru knew the answer to it, everyone knew the answer.

"Naruto we can't answer that question for you. You have to figure it out on your own." Like Naruto said, Kiba could be a prick if he wanted to.

"So you're not going to help me?"

"Nope. You'll figure it out."

Author's Note: Please review and tell me what you think.
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Perfection