Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

One Unfortunate Blonde	By : Provocative_Zephyr Category: Naruto Crossovers > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1544 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or Naruto. I assure you, no profit is made from this work of fanfiction.

Chapter List
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"And this is the floor you'll live on." Shiro's future apartment landlord made an elaborate flourish with his hand, as if presenting a five star hotel opposed to a shabby, broken down, shithole. The albino sneered at the balding, pepper-dusted, sweating, fat man. "We have some charming people here."
Shiro giggled hysterically at that, making the man jump in surprise, then shiver in disturbance. "I'm sure you'll fit right in…" He mumbled in misery to himself, though Shiro still heard him; and that only caused him to laugh even more.
From that point on, the tenant seemed overly eager to get the silver-haired man to his apartment, actually bringing his speed up to a hurried waddle.
"And…huff…here we are." Fat and balding stopped in front of apartment 5, breathing heavy. Shiro smirked widely. "Rent…ha…is paid on Mondays," he paused for air, "Utilities every month, pets require a deposit." Shiro raised a brow at this. "And no smoking." At this, another brow raised and fat and balding shifted his mammoth-like weight in nervousness. "T-that's all."
"Sure thing, rolly." The man stiffened in offense and Shiro took that opportunity to grab his loosely dangling keys from the landlord's chubby hand, open his door, and slam it into the man's face.
He cackled merrily, letting it belt out as the man waddled away, no doubt with sinking self-esteem. Ah, Shiro loved fucking with people. Then he composed himself, somewhat, and turned around, taking in his new abode.
The apartment needed some major work, which had been a given when Shiro had first laid eyes on the shit-hole building. He had fully been expecting the creeping mold, but he still eyed it with disdain. "Fuckin' gross." He took a deep breath. "No smoking ma ass. I should have kicked that fat ass down the stairs."
Grimmjow would be dropping by tomorrow with all of Shiro's shit in that big truck of his, so he had to make this place fuckin' clean before then; except he sucked at cleaning with extreme prejudice. That had always been Ichigo's forte. Shiro hadn't cleaned since he lived with old goat face, and that had been some of the shitiest cleaning jobs you'd ever see.
He looked idly at a millipede crawling on his kitchen linoleum and cussed. Maybe he should just hire someone and rent a hotel for the night. He refused to sleep on this shit.
"Fuckin' twin…." Shiro grumbled.
The albino made a quick rundown of the apartment, living room/kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom; there was trash, a broken couch covered in black mold, trash, some broken glass, trash, an old pizza box, and then a garbage bag. Shiro warily eyed that black bag before looking inside and deeming it body-free.
Now he had something to work with.
Around 11 a.m. he had finished picking up all the trash laying on the floor, just in time to hear the mail man make his rounds on their apartment. Shiro hauled the garbage bag to his door, cursing his brother all the way. He kicked his door open and started at the sight of a tall man wearing black all the way to his head.
Shiro raised a brow; 'charming people' indeed. This guy looked suspicious enough to be a fucking rapist.
Rapist-man currently had his back turned to Shiro, checking his mailbox. The albino shot him a cautious glance before continuing with his trash venture, not noticing a pair of bright pink and green eyes sizing him up. When he came back, the black-clothed man was gone and in his place was a much shorter blonde.
The albino stopped in his tracks, finding himself admiring that fine, lithely muscled back and firm-looking ass. Damn. Much better than the creepy-as-fuck rapist guy. This was one of his fellow tenants? Shiro grinned.
Blondie was shorter than him, thin and lean, and from what he could see through that tight black tank top, there were wiry muscles. Tan, golden skin especially appealed to the albino and for a moment he imagined what it would look like in contrast to his own pale complexion.
"Hey there." Shiro called out to his attractive new neighbor, hoping that the front was as sexy as the back. He wasn't disappointed when he caught sight of cat-like azure eyes – Grimmjow popped to mind for some reason – more delectable tan skin, and some intriguing whisker-like birthmarks. Shiro grinned widely, probably looking psychotic if a raised yellow brow was anything to go by. "So yer my new neighbor."
Shiro drawled out in content, quickly approaching the now wary-looking blonde. He held out a pale hand. "Name's Shiro Kurosaki." He toned down his grin a bit and the kid relaxed slightly.
"Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto clasped his hand politely, obviously trying not to stare at his neighbor rudely. It was the skin and eyes; it tended to make people stare. Shiro mentally gave Naruto a brownie point for attempting a little civility. In return, he didn't gawk at the kids birthmarks/scars. Not that he was the gawking type anyway. It was more like he refrained from pointing them out verbally. He was loudly rude, thanks, not that sneaky, backstabbing shit.
He released that tan hand and smirked. "How long ya been in this shithole?"
Naruto shrugged, closing his mailbox behind him, "About four years now." His lips were curved up in an amused smile.
"Four years? Ya look a lil' young fer that."
"Been here since I was sixteen."
"Huh." Where the hell were the kid's parents four years ago? "So whatcha do, Na-ru-to?" he gave some extra care to purr out the blonde's name and was rewarded with a light dusting of pink on those whiskered cheeks.
"I work at Ichiraku's," for a moment, Naruto looked dreamy, "Part time."
"Ah, the ramen place."
"Best place in the world!" the blonde grinned widely, "So…uh, you just moved in?"
Shiro smirked, "About an hour ago."
The blonde cringed. "Got a place to sleep? It's probably disgusting in there."
"Eh?"
Naruto smiled sheepishly. "I knew the guy who lived there last, obviously….He make the rest of the building look pretty, tebayo."
Shiro cocked his head at the kid's 'tebayo' then nodded. "Ya got tha' right." The albino eyed the 20-year old. "Nah, not yet; I was thinkin' I'd get a hotel fer the night.
The blonde shook his head, "You could sleep with me…" blue eyes widened and he blushed a bright red as he quickly corrected himself. "You could sleep at my apartment!" Naruto coughed, now looking absolutely mortified. Cute.
Shiro let loose another hysterical giggle. "That's one of the best propositions I've heard all month." He practically purred out, smirking at the blonde. Naruto twitched in response, carefully saying nothing. "Ya sure ya wanna offer that? Not many people would chance that."
The blonde chuckled somewhat nervously. "I'll take that chance. Can't leave my new neighbor out of a place to sleep, right?" His grin was bright and Shiro actually found it enjoyable to look at. Usually, cheerful people pissed him off. But this kid was hot, and Shiro seriously wanted to fuck him, so he made an exception.
"Well then, in that case…I'll take ya up, Naruto." He drawled out the kid's name sensually again. "Later though; I gotta clean my shithole before my actual shit gets here." With that, Shiro smirked heatedly at his generous neighbor and made to go back to his apartment.
"Hey!" the albino stopped, turning to look back at his now flushing neighbor. "I can help you out, tebayo. Two will make the job go by faster, right?"
Shiro raised a brow. "Ya don't want anything to do with tha' piece of crap apartment." He grimaced, "Believe me."
Naruto shrugged, that bright smile – and blush – not leaving his face. "Hey, I'm your neighbor! It's no big deal. I've seen the place already anyway." Shiro hesitated. He actually, honestly didn't really want to ask the blonde to help – which would be a first, he loved to torture people – but…he didn't really want to face that shit alone.
Shiro paused, scratching his head in a way that he would never admit mirrored his twin. "Well…in that case…."
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One Unfortunate Blonde