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A Case of Cabin Fever	By : PrettyKitty93 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1010 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto series or any of the characters, they are the property of Masashi Kishimoto. This is just for fun, I do not make any money from this fic.

Chapter List
- 1-A Case of Cabin Fever
- 2-Extra: The Fantastic Plastic Machine
- 1
- 2
Author's Notes: Ok, so I was bored one night and I should've been working on Kiss of Paradise but instead I had an idea that just wouldn't go away. It started with the musician (producer, I believe) Fantastic Plastic Machine (that makes some very interesting music, btw) and I wondered one day did he intentionally mean for his name to sound dirty? Because some how, that sounded like that'd be a good name for a brand of sex toys and voila! I wrote a fic about Itachi's first vibrator, lol. It's just so funny because I couldn't ever see him using one...

A Case of Cabin Fever:

The Fantastic, Plastic Machine

He'd got it when he was about eighteen or nineteen, when he was visiting Deidara in Australia and the blonde had dragged him into a seedy shop.

"Deidara… let's get out of here already before someone sees us!" the older Uchiha brother hissed, glancing around the shady store that was dark, save for like some neon signs and some black lights, and reeked of incense.

"No one's going to see us, chill out. Besides, you're eighteen, you're an adult which means you can go into an adult store without being ashamed," Deidara explained.

"Just because I'm old enough to be in here, doesn't mean I have to be bold about it," Itachi remarked, turning around to see a pair of furry handcuffs. He made a face of disgust and turned back to Deidara.

"You are never any fun, un," he complained, continuing to look around.

"Well…" Itachi trailed off, trying to think of something to say. "I really don't give a fuck. If this place is supposed to be fun, I don't wanna be included in it."

"I think I know what might make you less of a tight-ass…" Deidara remarked, pulling something off the shelves and showing it to Itachi. "…This, un."

"No way in hell am I buying that," Itachi replied sternly, looking at the package in the artist's hand.

"You know how you're always saying you miss me when you're home?"

"No."

"Well, I'll buy this for you-"

"No."

"-And it can be your little souvenir of me, un! Every time you use it, you'll think of me,"

"No."

"You know what, fine, un. Be that way, I'll buy it for myself then," Deidara concluded, marching up to the counter.

"I'm not desperate enough to shove a plastic cock up my ass, thank you very much," Itachi remarked, as Deidara was paying for the thing.

Little did he know, the little sneak Deidara would hide it in his suitcase before he'd left. He should've expected that.

So, when he opened his suitcase upon arriving home, he was met with the view of that… that thing that made him feel dirty just looking at it.

"Itachi…"

The older brother turned to see fourteen year-old Sasuke standing over him. He was praying that his little brother was a very naïve fourteen year-old, and didn't know what that was. "Yes, Sasuke?"

"…That's just disgusting,"

What did little brothers know anyways?

He threw the thing, labeled as the 'Fantastic Plastic Machine', into the side draw by his bed, hopefully to never be seen again. Deidara would call him occasionally, like usual, but somewhere or another that stupid vibrator would come up into the conversation. But after about a month or so, where Itachi had absolutely refused to use it, he stopped asking about it, and it was left to be forgotten in that drawer.

Until about three or so months later, one night when he was laying in bed but he just could not sleep, because he was so horny after not having sex for over three months of course. So, since Sasuke was sleep and all (since it was a school night) he did what he would usually do, just jerk himself off to completion, of course. Nothing extra, because it'd just make him feel dirtier.

His hand snaked its way into his pajama bottoms, where he grabbed his already semi-hard cock, from his imagination running wild. He thought most of his sexy, now former teacher, Kakashi, and his friend as well, much to his dismay. Not that it was too hard to believe since they were fuck buddies after all. Oh, there were plenty of hot men he could come up with as he got himself off, stroking his now fully-erect member at a quickening pace. He used his free left hand to open up and feel around in his drawer for a small bottle of lube, before he felt something else… his fingers traced along the foreign object before he remembered what it was. Crap. He was practically horny enough to actually consider using the thing… just thinking about it, he let out a barely audible shudder. This was the closest thing he actually had to getting laid, sadly enough.

"Fuck…" he grumbled. "I can't believe I'm actually going to try and use this," he admitted as he pulled the vibrator out the drawer, along with the lube.

After awhile, Itachi the prude had gotten used to using it somewhat regularly, just not enough to where it would embarrass him anymore than it already was. So, somewhere along the line, he'd went from just Itachi, to Itachi the pervert who uses toys to do himself up the ass. So much in fact, that he even did it once in his office at work. Yes, he'd gone from 'not desperate enough to shove a plastic cock up his ass' from 'so desperate he'd even do it at work.' But, he kind of liked the risk of it, he had to try and keep his mouth shut while moving the device in and out… and then when he actually turned it on, he had to bit his lip to keep quiet as the vibrations hit his prostate. That thing turned out to be his own little piece of personal bliss, despite the fact he was still embarrassed he used it.

One night at home, he was about to use it again, when surprise, Deidara bursts in uninvited.

Shocked, Itachi throws the device under his pillow and throws his cloud-covered blanket over his naked body, although it really didn't matter considering they've seen each other naked plenty of times.

"Itachi, un, why are you acting so weird?" was the first thing the blonde asked. Then his lips slowly formed a grin, asking, "Can I join you under there?"

"No," Itachi responded sternly.

"Oh come on…" he teased, getting closer to his friend, who was glaring at him as he slid beside him in the bed.

"I'm not even in the mood, Deidara," he lied.

Deidara made a face, before laying his head on the pillow before crying out as he hit his head. Itachi tried to convince him it was just a book, but once the thing turned on, Deidara knew it was no book.

"Itachi! Whatever happened to I'm not desperate enough to shove a plastic cock up my ass, un?" Deidara asked, looking smug.

"Look, I used the thing like once or twice, I was thinking about throwing it away for good,"

"You missed me, huh?" Deidara teased.

"Fuck you, I was just really turned on," he said, stuffing the thing into the drawer.

"Well… if you wanna throw it away for good, how about now?"

"I'll do it tomorrow,"

"Geez Itachi, you're so stubborn, un,"

Needless to say, Itachi never threw it away. It still stayed in his bedside drawer to this day, and now, about five years later, he and his beloved Kisame were sharing the master bedroom at his house.

"Oh… oh fuck Kisame… take me already," the older Uchiha pleaded.

"Where's the lube?" Kisame questioned, and Itachi pointed to the small drawer.

He reached inside, and felt around before finding what else, but the somewhat forgotten Fantastic Plastic Machine? "Mmm, Itachi, what is this?"

"That?" he spoke, unable to think of anything to say.

"Yes, this, my little dirty boy,"

"Well… when someone's home alone and they're really turned on…" he began to explain, as his lover was giving him this, somewhat creepy, knowing smile. "Look, since I have you, I really don't need it anymore so-"

"You should keep it," Kisame explained. "I'd bet you'd look totally hot using it, and that's something I'd like to see…"

Itachi did something he didn't tend to do around others: blush. He turned red, thinking about his Kisame being turned on by the sight of him impaling himself with a vibrator. Yes, it sounded weird, but whatever got his lover off was fine with him.

That thing really was fantastic.

The End

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A Case of Cabin Fever