Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

The Words I Couldn't Say	By : vampireunicorn Category: Naruto AU/AR > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1412 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. I make no money from this story

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
A/N: Big thanks to moodysavage and Masako for reviewing chapter one :) and thanks to all who rated my story :)
At my current writing speed, I think I should be able to update on a Thursday and Sunday here, and publish the final chapter at the same time on both sites...well, that is the plan, anyway :D
Here's chapter two; please let me know what you think ^^
Chapter Two

Naruto lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. It had been three days since he had last seen Sasuke. He had been tempted, very tempted, to barge into the Uchiha mansion, but he had given Sasuke his privacy, sure that his friend would seek him out once he had sorted things out in his head. However, Naruto only had a certain amount of patience, and it was pretty much worn out. Looking back, he was willing to admit that his plan wasn’t the best, but he had become desperate. And he had been sure that Sasuke would have got over himself by now, and come to see him.
Letting out a sigh, Naruto flopped onto his stomach. The last year had been pure hell, all down to Sasuke’s stupid stubbornness. He had always thought that his love was one sided, and had come to accept it. He hadn’t told Sasuke, because they didn’t talk about things like that. Plus, if he couldn’t have Sasuke as a lover, he could at least keep him as a friend. Then, just over a year ago, he happened to see a familiar face in a club he sometimes went to. Maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised that Sasuke lived a double life, the same as him, but Sasuke had always seemed so happy to have Sakura hanging off him, spouting her inane babble and making Naruto want to hit her. Or not hit her, because she was a girl. Maybe just stamp on her delicate, feminine toes.
Still, seeing Sasuke going off with other guys had eaten at Naruto in a way that seeing him with Sakura never could. Until Naruto had noticed something; every guy Sasuke picked up looked like him. Barely daring to hope that his feelings were returned, Naruto had began his campaign to make Sasuke his. Hinata had been phase one. The shy girl was chronically scared of men; despite this, her father was constantly trying to set her up with various heirs. Hiashi Hyuuga was notoriously obsessed with status, never mind his daughter’s fragile mental state. Naruto had managed to stop her hyperventilating long enough to explain his plan. They would pretend to date; Hinata would avoid any more potential fiancés being thrust upon her by her father, and Naruto would make Sasuke jealous enough to admit his feelings for Naruto.
The plan had sort of worked; Hinata had been left alone by her father, and Sasuke had become jealous, but the stubborn bastard hadn’t done anything about it, apart from fuck blond guys that weren’t Naruto.
That was when Naruto had decided that show might be better than tell. Again, Sasuke had thwarted him; he had recognised Naruto, but for some reason had decided that denial was a better place to be. Naruto wanted to strangle him. Now that he had had Sasuke, he could never go back to casual fucks. Naruto covered his eyes with a groan. He had to go to Sasuke; there was no way that he could last another day without seeing him, but he didn’t want to screw things up anymore than they already were. It was time to come clean, and speak to the one person he could rely on to judge the situation correctly. He needed to speak to his Mother.
He found Kushina in her art studio. His father, Minato, indulged his mother in a lot of ways, from letting her keep her last name, and passing it on to Naruto after they married, to allowing her to turn one whole wing of the house into an arts and crafts centre. She sometimes held classes for underprivileged kids, mucking about with clay and paints and all other sorts of messy things. Naruto loved it; often he would help her out.
Kushina’s personal studio was on the top floor, a room with a window that covered the whole back wall. It was where she did her own, personal art work, and the only people who had been in there apart from herself, were Naruto, Minato and Mikoto.
Naruto waited for her to notice him, sitting in the chair reserved for that purpose. He was partially dreading this conversation; the only person who knew he was gay was Hinata. Well, and Sasuke now, he supposed. Bending the guy over a bed and fucking him up the ass was a pretty good “I’m gay” declaration. It wasn’t that he was worried about his mother being horrified, or prejudiced; quite the opposite. He was worried that she would drag him to gay pride marches. Maybe an outsider would see it as a stupid reason to keep his sexuality quiet; but then, they didn’t know how focused Kushina could be when she had her mind set on one of her causes. Still, she had to find out sometime, especially now Naruto had decided that he was going to make things work with Sasuke. It might as well be now.
Finally, Kushina put her paintbrush down and turned to face him. There was a streak of pink on her cheek, the colour clashing horribly with her red hair.
“What’s up, chickpea?” she asked, stripping off the paint spattered shirt she used to protect her clothing. She balled it up, and threw it into a corner, where a pile of similarly abused shirts languished.
Naruto sighed wondering where to begin. “I think I made a mistake,” he said slowly, “with Sasuke.”
Kushina raised an eyebrow, and dragged a chair over so she could sit in front of him. She straddled it backwards, resting her folded arms on the top of the backrest. “What sort of mistake?” she asked.
“I…I sort of had sex with him,” Naruto replied, cringing.
Kushina laughed. “How do you sort of have sex with someone? You either did or you didn’t.”
“OK, then I did,” Naruto replied, “and now he won’t speak to me.” That had come out sounding a lot more petulant than he intended.
Kushina sighed. “Maybe he’s just not comfortable about being gay?” She suggested.
Naruto snorted, thinking about all of Sasuke’s bed partners, thinking about how hot he had been for Naruto’s cock. Sasuke seemed pretty comfortable about being gay. It was Naruto he had a problem with.
“No,” Naruto said, “it was the way I did it.”
There was a long pause, then, as if she didn’t quite believe she was saying it, Kushina slowly asked, “you didn’t force him, did you?”
“No!” Naruto exclaimed, “I would never…wait. Why are you not surprised by any of this?”
Kushina smiled. “Sweetheart, I’ve known you were gay since we watched Labyrinth, and you spent the whole film staring at David Bowie’s crotch.”
“I was five!” Naruto spluttered.
Kushina shrugged, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I must admit I was surprised about the whole Hinata thing, then I saw the way you looked at Sasuke, and the way he glared murder at Hinata, and I realised what you were doing. Mikoto knows, too. She’s a bit upset because she was set on organising a wedding, but I’ve explained all about civil partnerships, and she thinks she can work something with that.” She shot Naruto a happy grin, as if Mikoto’s acceptance of civil partnership over a traditional wedding sorted everything.
Naruto found that speaking to his mother had helped; now he knew exactly how Sasuke felt, like the whole world had been dragged out from under him and re-formed.
“So,” Kushina asked, “how did you have sex with Sasuke?”
And that was a question no son should ever have his mother ask him. Naruto buried his head in his hands with a groan. “I was…sort of in disguise,” he said finally.
“Ooh, like cosplay? Kinky.”
“Not helping, Mum,”
“Sorry.”
Naruto heard her shifting in her seat, but kept his head in his hands, as if that would make the whole thing any easier.
“So. I was in disguise, but Sasuke knew it was me, I could see it in his eyes, but I decided to play along with his game. So we, well…you know…and then he pulled my mask off, and then he ran away.”
“Did you say anything to him?”
“Not really.”
“Did he say anything to you?”
Sasuke’s voice, saying fuck my mouth, in a tone that was pure sex. Naruto groaned. “Not really,” he replied.
“OK. I know what’s wrong,” she said.
Naruto raised his head hopefully. “You do?” he asked.
Kushina nodded. “Yup. You two suck at communication” she said. “I mean, seriously, you’ve been in love with the guy for years, and what do you do? Do you tell him how you feel? No. You don’t even tell him you’re gay. You just use a cockshy girl to make him jealous. And when you do have sex with him, you let him pretend you’re some anonymous stranger. Far be it for me to comment on Sasuke’s weird kinks, but I raised you to be better than that.”
Naruto sighed. She was right; but Sasuke was so hard to talk to. “So I should speak to him?” he asked.
Kushina rolled her eyes. “Of course,” she said. “Now come here and give me a hug; I’m so proud of you for telling me this. I’m sure it will all work out.”
Naruto fell into his mother’s arms with a small sigh. Because he knew, no matter how hard telling his mother was, it would be a million times harder to have this conversation with Sasuke.
It was several hours later that Naruto stood outside the Uchiha mansion. He had spent a while procrastinating over what to wear, eventually settling on the t-shirt and jeans he had originally put on to mope about the house in; it was Sasuke and he was pissed at him. Naruto doubted that he would pay attention to Naruto’s clothes.
The butler opened the door, and slowly flicked his gaze up and down Naruto, as if he was considering sending him around to the servant’s entrance. Maybe Naruto should have dressed with a little more care; the man had known him since he was a baby.
“I’m here to see Sasuke,” Naruto said after the silence became uncomfortable.
The butler let out a long suffering sigh, and opened the door wide enough to let Naruto in. Naruto shot him a grin of thanks, before making his way up the stairs to Sasuke’s room. Outside the door he hesitated; if he knocked, and didn’t say anything, there was a chance that Sasuke would ignore him, because he was an ignorant bastard. If he announced that it was him, it was more likely that Sasuke would just climb out the window, because Sasuke knew that Naruto had a key to his room. Which brought Naruto to option 3; just let himself in. it would piss Sasuke off, but Sasuke was already mad at Naruto; he didn’t think it would make it any worse…probably.
Naruto went with option 3, quickly opening the door and charging into the room. He paused en route to blocking the window as he realised that Sasuke wasn’t there. He checked the en suite, just to be sure, then flopped down onto the bed with a defeated sigh. Stupid Sasuke. He couldn’t even sulk like a normal person.
“What are you doing?”
Naruto sat bolt upright. “Sasuke!” he exclaimed, seeing the object of his affections standing in the doorway, a guarded expression in his dark eyes.
For a moment, Naruto was sure that Sasuke would bolt. Then with a defeated sigh, Sasuke closed the door and locked it behind him.
“What will it take for you to leave without creating a scene?” He asked.
“You hearing me out,” Naruto replied, “Sasuke, about the other day-”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Sasuke interjected curtly, pressing his back against the door.
Naruto scowled. This was why he hated talking about things like this with Sasuke. “Well I do,” he snapped. “Not talking is what got us here.”
“Here being you breaking into my bedroom?” Sasuke snorted. “Please leave, Naruto. I have my life sorted; I don’t need what this conversation you’re so desperate to have will do to it.”
“Bullshit,” Naruto replied, trying to keep his anger in check. “Your life is anything but sorted; or do you think that Sakura will appreciate you getting your jollies elsewhere? Do you think she will be happy sleeping in a cold bed while you go out and fuck men?”
That hit home; Sasuke flinched before the mask was back, his black eyes twin pits. “That was the last time,” he said. “You didn’t have to butt in; I was going to stop, anyway. So that was the talk. You can leave now.” Sasuke stepped to the side, giving Naruto access to the door.
“No. We haven’t even begun to talk.” Naruto said, keeping his perch on Sasuke’s bed.
“I’m not listening to you anymore.”
Naruto half expected Sasuke to stick his fingers in his ears and “lalala” like a little kid. Instead, he strode to the window and looked out at the expansive lawn.
“Why are you so stubborn?”
Sasuke turned to him with a wide eyed look of incredulity. “I’m stubborn? What a joke coming from you.”
“Sasuke, I don’t want to fight with you,” Naruto said, biting his lip in an effort to keep himself calm.
“Really? Then why don’t you leave? I can’t have you doing this to me now.”
“So the problem is my timing? When will be better for you? Next week?”
“Naruto, I’m being serious.”
“So am I!” Naruto sprang up from the bed, all good intentions of staying calm gone. “God, you are so unreasonable. Everything has to fit in with Sasuke’s world view, or it doesn’t exist. You knew it was me; you could have stopped it anytime, but you didn’t.”
“Naruto, I said that I didn’t want to talk about it.”
“Only because then you might actually have to admit that you felt something!” Naruto knew he was yelling, but he didn’t care. “Or maybe the only chance I have at you is when I’m in a mask, when you pretend I’m not me. Funny, since all the other guys you’ve had you pretend they are me.”
There was a stunned silence, as they stared at each other; Sasuke’s eyes so wide that they looked like they were about to pop out of his skull.
“Go. Now. Naruto.” Sasuke hissed through gritted teeth.
“No. How long Sasuke? How long have you been playing this game?”
Sasuke moved so quickly that Naruto barely had time to react; he dodged enough so that the fist that was aiming for the centre of his face just grazed his cheek. He wasn’t in time to stop Sasuke’s forward momentum pushing them both to the floor. The air was pushed out of his lungs as Sasuke slammed into him, then he was fighting the enraged Uchiha as Sasuke grappled with him, his dark eyes alight with fury. Naruto was pretty sure he was trying to bite him, too. He somehow managed to twist Sasuke underneath him, pinning his arms by the wrists, and straddling his hips to stop him lashing out with his feet.
Sasuke glared at him, breathing heavily, and a certain part of Naruto’s anatomy perked up at the sight of a flushed, panting Sasuke pinned under him.
“I’m in love with you, Sasuke,” Naruto said, unable to keep the words back.
Sasuke stared up at him, his anger gone. Naruto just wished he didn’t suddenly look so afraid.
“Stop,” Sasuke whispered.
“No,” and quite aware that he was risking being bitten Naruto lowered his head, and placed a kiss against Sasuke’s mouth. He felt Sasuke’s whole body stiffen under him. Naruto didn’t press for more than lips, but he didn’t back away, either. He waited, longing for Sasuke to give in, and kiss him back. Sasuke remained rigid under him, not fighting, but not kissing back, either. Finally, with a soft sigh of regret, Naruto raised his head. The look in Sasuke’s eyes was so sorrowful that Naruto wanted to cry. He also wanted to punch him in the face for being so difficult. Things didn’t have to be this way.
“I’m sorry; I should have told you sooner,” Naruto said, “I couldn’t bear to see you give yourself to those men, but I was scared to tell you how I felt, scared that you’d be like this.”
“How long have you know?”
“A year.”
Sasuke closed his eyes, a soft sound escaping his lips. “This makes no sense,” he said. “What about Hinata?”
“I was using her to make you jealous.”
Sasuke opened one eye, and looked at Naruto sceptically. “You are such an idiot,” he said.
Sensing that the fight had gone out of Sasuke, Naruto released his wrists and moved away. Sasuke pushed himself up, so they were both sat on the floor, facing each other.
“I meant what I said before,” Sasuke said finally, “it’s too late. There are too many people relying on me; my parents, Sakura, Itachi. I have to be the person they need me to be.”
“What about me? What about what I need?”
“Don’t,” Sasuke breathed out the word. “You think I’ve spent the last three days sulking, I suppose. Well, I haven’t; I’ve been thinking, and no matter how much I may want it, nothing can ever happen between us.”
“Something already did happen,” Naruto said.
“Never again. Do you understand me, Naruto? It can’t happen again.”
Naruto sighed. He wasn’t going to get Sasuke to budge. At least, not right away. Bulldozing his way in hadn’t worked; he was going to need to be patient, something he absolutely hated doing. At least he had got something from this; he had got Sasuke to admit that he wanted it, wanted him.
“I’m not giving up,” Naruto announced, getting to his feet, “I mean it Sasuke, I will make you mine.”
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The Words I Couldn't Say