Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Gray Areas	By : Midnightstorm Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1624 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. They all belong to Masashi Kishimoto; though I do wish he could lend them to me indefinitely. I also do not make any profits off any of the stories I write using these characters!

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. They all belong to Masashi Kishimoto; though I do wish he could lend them to me indefinitely.
Warnings: Outbursts, Slightly graphic descriptions of being depressed (based on experience and psych classes)
A/N: Ok a few things to say and to answer some of the questions I've been asked here and on AFF:
Sorry for demanding reviews last chapter. I was going through a bad period and just got mad that sometimes I put in hard work and no one seems to care...extremely childish of me of course...no needs to care really. So I threw a small tantrum, realised I was being a hypocrite and now beg for your forgiveness!
Sorry for being late. Since I updated this story, I have gone to the UK for my graduation, roamed Scotland (with no internet) and come back in time for my birthday, spent my birthday morning in hospital getting vaccines for food poisoning, been sick and now finally finished the chapter. So sorry for the long wait.
I have no idea whether this will be a happy ending story or a gloomy story...usually my fics are about mind fucks which can be mended (thanks to psych class and the fact that I don't go into any of the actual neurological disorders.)
No one is the villain in the immediate Uchiha family. Here I'm really trying to make everyone human and try and see what caused whom to act like this. I hope this particular chapter makes things better character-wise. This chapter also sets the mood for things that will happen in the rest of the story. But yes I do have a villain who will show up soon enough.
About updates: someone commended me on the quality of the first chapter. I worked a whole year randomly on that first chapter. In essence it should take me a few days. So updates will be once a month depending on how difficult I find the chapter. Lol...I spend tons of time just calculating Sasuke's ages at each event because of the numerous skips he's had at school. But I don't want to take too long to update.
Thank you bridmatt and FromAfar...you made me think alot...all night in fact, I hope I dealt with what you brought up last chapter adequately in this one! Tell me what you think now please!

Chapter 2:
Naruto watched the grey clouds above; he could hear strains of soft instrumental music from the kitchen. The rain drops plopped onto the glass ceiling, bursting into misshapen blobs…it reminded Naruto of his life…once so perfect and now running all over the place. He'd been in this room for the past three hours, just lying there, unable to sleep, unable to turn off his mind. He should have been resting, but he was just too tired to rest. He wanted comfort, but the only people he wanted comfort from weren't here.
He absently fingered the scar on his left wrist and stared pensively at the sky. Sometime in the past when his parents (the Uchiha's) were still alive...he'd always wanted to see Sasuke-nii's new place...places he should say, though Sasuke had been living in this particular place for the past three years. He'd waited for the day that Sasuke would call him and ask him to come over...but that day had never come. Instead Sasuke-nii... Sasuke...had just closed all connections and turned into a stranger. He clamped down on the urge to laugh hysterically at the irony... that he was now supposed to live here... the one place he'd always wondered about with the one man that he now hated. For four fucking years!
He rubbed the scars harder, trying not to give into the overwhelming feeling of sadness that gripped him. Otou-san... Okaa-san... I didn't make it after all...I failed and now I'm stuck with your favourite son... the one who betrayed us...me... Naruto shifted onto his back. I wish I was dead...
"Naruto... dinner."
Hatred reared up at the sound of that deep voice, slowly taking over every cell of his body. Naruto clenched his fists and screwed his eyes shut. He just wanted to stay here in this stupid bedroom with it's stupid glass ceiling...though he hated that too, everything was sooo Sasuke... he cursed himself for failing to kill himself again... for ending up under the same roof with this... traitor. He curled up into a ball and just lay there. Maybe if I just stay here he'll leave me alone...
A shadow appeared in the doorway. This time it was a command. "Naruto. Dinner."
He stubbornly stayed in bed, running his index finger nail over the pad of his thumb, something he did when he was nervous or angry. If he stood up, he might try to maim the fucking bastard. Unfortunately Sasuke didn't leave. He didn't do anything remotely comforting either; he just stood there and stared. Like a block of ice. Naruto finally gave in...He would do anything to stop the stupid git's stare...but it felt like he'd just lost a battle.
He uncurled himself and then looked at his foster brother. Sasuke hadn't really changed. The man was very good looking, as were all the Uchihas. Flawless pale skin, perfect mouth and those black holes for eyes. But he was cold...just like he'd always been since he'd left them...maybe since before that too. The only time Naruto had ever seen any emotion in the man was back in that hospital ward, but he'd been so doped up then, he didn't even know if that was a dream. He quelled the urge to punch that perfect mouth while swallowing a growl of anger.
"Are you going come to dinner or just sit there stare bloody murder?" The deep voice was callous, Naruto could hear the smirk. His nail cut into his thumb as his hatred grew more desperate.
It was then that Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto decided that he really did hate this man. Maybe one day he would break that emotionless mask apart. One day.

Sasuke could feel the waves of anger pouring out of Naruto's body as the boy stood. The blond walked past him, fists clenched and steadfastly ignoring him. As Naruto walked ahead, Sasuke took the opportunity to size him up. As he'd thought when he was eleven, Naruto had grown up to be a lady killer. What with the hospitalisation he was a bit thin and pale, but once he got back to normal, he would be...very good looking. A few inches shorter than Sasuke, at seventeen, but he would grow. The blond hair was shaggy, hanging all over his face and his lips firm...stubborn. Different. Gone was the soft and chubby baby boy who had followed Sasuke like his life depended on it, those blue eyes filled with adoration and innocence. Now those blue eyes were deeper and darker, speaking volumes about pain and experience. Sasuke realised, a little ashamed, that he hadn't really looked at the boy since the year before he'd left home...almost seven years ago.
Sasuke hadn't really cooked a lot. The food was simple, tomato soup, garlic bread and mushroom tortellini in béchamel sauce. They sat down at the dinner table... Sasuke didn't bother to serve, Naruto could just serve himself. The gaki had very little soup and took a small helping of the pasta, but didn't really eat much. It annoyed Sasuke. Everything about this brat annoyed Sasuke.
"Do you know how many people are starving out in the world? Finish your food." Sasuke turned back to his plate, spearing a tortellini with more force than necessary…it wasn't like he'd get an answer.
"I fail to see how finishing my food would help starving people…they're not going to get it anyway…"
The reply almost made Sasuke drop his fork. This was the first time Naruto had spoken to him since….well since the incident. It irked him to remember that the last time Naruto had spoken to him was to wish him a merry Christmas last year. The voice, then warm caramel, was now deeper and huskier than he remembered.
"I was beginning to wonder when you'd crack. It would have been a bit difficult catering to your needs, if you'd continued to stay silent all the time."
"I had nothing to say to you." Came the murmured reply.
Sasuke smirked, arrogance touching up his beautiful face. "Well you could have begun by saying 'thank you'. I don't usually let brats make themselves at home here…"
Naruto looked at him, his blue eyes lighting up in a glare. "It's not like I wanted to live here you know…it's not like I asked or I planned to live with you of all people. I'm not grateful. I never will be."
Sasuke frowned at the tone. No one had used that tone with him in years, except for Kyuubi back at the hospital and he'd given her that right when he accepted her as a sister in law. Who did this little shit think he was? Sasuke had generously…well not so generously, still he had agreed to let him live here for four years…it seemed now, like they were going to be four years of torture. His lips tightened and he straightened up like he always did when he was angry.
"You're telling me you'd have preferred a foster home?" Sasuke sneered.
Naruto met his look with serious eyes. "I'm telling you I wanted to die."
Sasuke had no idea why he reacted the way he did, but in a flash he was over at Naruto's side, yanking the said blond out of the chair. He leaned over Naruto, his face contorted in anger, his hand fisted in the blond's collar. "Do you still want to die?"
Black eyes bored into the slightly shocked blue ones. Both men panted harshly, feeling like they'd run a mile long race. Finally Naruto looked away; again feeling like Sasuke had won. Sasuke didn't release him but leaned a bit closer. "If I hear you say that one more time or even allude to something like that, Otouto…I will beat the shit out of you. After I finish, I'll let the social services take you away from me, and you can go to the hell that you so badly want to go to…understand?"
When Naruto remained silent, Sasuke by some urge to be dominant and to make his message absolutely clear; shook him again. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
Naruto nodded. Sasuke let him go and turned towards the kitchen, in an attempt to hide the way his hands had started to tremble. Somehow the thought of going through all of that again, the thought of seeing Naruto like that again, scared the shit out of him. Naruto always shattered him, shattered the proud self control, the perfect emotionless exterior…he made Sasuke feel. He had done it back then and he still seemed to be able to do it now. Sasuke hated this! It took him about ten minutes but when he'd calmed down, he found Naruto had left the room.
Sasuke sighed and picked the chairs up. Naruto shouldn't matter…so why the fuck was getting so affected by it?

-Flashback-
They sat in the study, Sasuke on the computer doing some research for his essay that was due tomorrow and little Naruto in the corner, practicing drawing lines the way his Sasu-nii had taught him. The room was quiet, except for the occasional noise of Sasuke tapping his foot impatiently against the inner wall of the desk...another habit that gave away what he was feeling. This stupid essay was turning out to be difficult. Even though he was eleven, his teachers had just moved him up to eighth grade. He had no problems dealing with the demands of this skip in classes...except for this particular essay. Somehow there seemed to be nothing anywhere on the topic...he wondered if he'd been given this particular topic for that very reason. The teacher in this particular class, Mizuki-sensei hated him. Sasuke smirked, he'd just try really hard and work with what he had and show that bastard what he was made of. Not that his father seemed all that proud anyway, even with all of this, his father still looked at Itachi as the best.
He glanced over at the little blond who was in the corner...he seemed to be working very hard too. Sasuke smiled, it was a joy teaching Naruto how to draw, and the kid worked so hard and made it so satisfying. He grinned when he noticed how dishevelled Naruto looked. His mother would despair. Getting Naruto to look neat was like trying to tame a rampaging wolverine. It was impossible. He'd gotten pencil shavings and marks all over his blue t-shirt and denim shorts; the maid would be so annoyed. Sasuke turned back to his essay, letting it absorb his mind like chocolate cake absorbing fudge. Finally about three hours later, he was done and extremely satisfied with his work. That would show Mizuki that Uchiha Sasuke was a genius and nothing could faze him.
He stretched in the chair, working out all the kinks in his muscles, before sauntering up to Naruto, to peek at what he was doing. Sasuke smiled, the boy had fallen asleep on his practice, papers covered with lines all over. Something caught his eye; frowning Sasuke looked down to see some lines drawn over printed paper...a chilly feeling trickled down his back, as he drew out the page to look at it more clearly.
Lines...thick HB pencil lines crisscrossed over a contract...a contract that he'd heard his father talking about all week. Unbidden memories of the last time this had happened...the time when Sasuke was the culprit himself, came to his mind. His father had screamed at him for disgracing the Uchiha name, the only thing his five year old mind retained of the scolding, before taking away all of his favourite things and grounding him to his room for a week. It might not seem like a big a deal, but to his five year old mind, it was the worst week of his life. So it was no wonder when Sasuke lost his temper.
It was the first time the eleven year old had ever lost his temper with the golden haired boy. Sasuke reached out to grab the small shoulder and literally shook the boy awake. Naruto woke up groggy and suddenly scared. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and tried hard to focus on who was manhandling him. When realisation hit, the tiny nose crinkled up and a frown marred the chubby tranquillity that usually graced the little boy.
"S...Sasu-nii?"
"You...how could you? Don't you have any brains? I told you to ask me for paper! You should have told me you finished baka!" Sasuke grabbed onto the little boy's collar, his back stiff with tension. His eyes were wild and angry, there was just something inside him that wanted to impress upon Naruto that what he had done was a slight to the Uchiha name. Somewhere at the back of his mind, something told him he was over reacting, but that was pushed aside by five year old Sasuke wanting someone else to feel what he had felt...wanting someone else to also 'not be' worthy of the Uchiha name. "You're a disgrace! You'll never be good enough! Stupid stupid gaki!"
Naruto was scared. Sasuke nii-san had never ever yelled at him or been mean to him. Those pretty black eyes that he'd always admired on his brother were wild with anger. Naruto was having a hard time understanding exactly what it was he had done, to put Sasuke in such a rage. He could feel the familiar burning in his eyes, a lump formed in his throat as his shoulder hit the wall, when Sasuke shook him again. He couldn't hold it in anymore, he gave a loud wail of fright and shucked off Sasuke's hands. But his nii-san caught him before he made it out the door. He was roughly turned around and the lines he had drawn were shoved in his face. Naruto began to wail in earnest now, Sasuke-nii was saying really mean things.
"Look at this! Look at it!" Sasuke didn't know what he was going to do. His father would blame him...hate him for destroying his papers...one more failure. Fear welled up in his whole body at the thought, he'd been trying too hard to please his father, so hard and stupid Naruto had ruined everything. Desperation, the kind when you know nothing can be done but are desperate anyway, welled up...his body hurt from all the tension in it.
"SASUKE!" a voice boomed and Naruto was pried away from him. "What do you think you're doing?"
Sasuke came back to earth with a thud. Everything came back into focus. He looked at the wailing little boy, Naruto's blue eyes filled with tears and fear. The papers he'd shoved at the child were strewn all over the floor, he realised his hands were clenched at his sides into fists that hurt. Amidst all the chaos was his sixteen year old brother looking at him in a mixture of confusion and anger. Sasuke took a deep breath and sighed, then he took another and another, until all the tension was trickling out him. He dropped to his knees to collect and organise the papers. He used it as an excuse not to look into his brother's eyes. "Naruto drew all over dad's contract...I...I lost my temper."
Understanding dawned in Itachi's dark eyes. He had been there that time six years ago and knew that it had hit Sasuke hard. He dropped to his knees and helped Sasuke get the rest of the sheaf. Then he slung an arm around the boy and squeezed briefly. "Well, leave them on the table and we'll tell Otou-san, when he gets back. Hopefully he won't be all that mad."
"Won't be mad about what?" Their father stood at the door, his eyes lingering on the sniffling Naruto in concern and then looking to his two sons, question written all over his face. "What happened?"
"Naruto seems to have drawn all over your contract, Otou-san. Sasuke was worried, so he reprimanded him a little." Itachi tried to keep the situation light, he had no idea what his father would do if he realised that Sasuke had lost his temper like that.
"Give it to me..." Fugaku scanned the papers and noted with some growing dismay that it was the contract that was to be signed tomorrow. Only the lawyers had another copy. But one look at the tiny sobbing blond bundle, made him melt. He always remembered at the back of his mind that Naruto was Minato's son. He wanted to bring the tiny baby up the way Minato would have, without the Uchiha strictness in all things. He set the papers aside and knelt down.
"Come here, Naru-chan." He hugged the boy and patted his back softly. "Listen. I know you love to draw, but the next time you want paper, ask Sasuke, and he'll give you the correct ones. These were very, very important papers. Do you understand?"
Naruto gave a tremulous nod.
Fugaku smiled. "Well, say you're sorry to Sasuke and to me. Then you may go upstairs."
Standing there, tired from all the anger he'd felt before, watching Naruto sniffle and apologise, the first seeds of resentment were sown in Uchiha Sasuke. So Naruto messing up contracts is all right...he's not a disgrace to the Uchiha family name. Anger bubbled up again, but looking into those fearful blue eyes, Sasuke clamped it down. Taking a deep breath he shoved all the resentment away too. This was baby Naruto...the little thing he'd played with since he was five...he shouldn't feel that way about him.
Fugaku watched Sasuke's carefully blank face, knowing the thoughts going on in that head of his. But how was he supposed to explain, that he could be strict with his own sons, but not with Minato's. Although he loved Naruto as another of his own, he could never let himself forget that this was Minato's son, lest Naruto turn out cold and broody like another Uchiha. Minato would curse him from heaven.
Two hours later, Sasuke stood by the blond's door. He hesitated, his hand against the door knob, smoothing it as he wondered what to say. He steeled himself and went in, shutting the door behind him. Then he sat down by the bed and reached out to trail the bruise on the tiny shoulder, visible since Naruto was wearing a sleeveless pyjama top. The blond whimpered.
"Does Sasu-nii hate me?"
Sasuke sighed and slipped his right arm under the blond, gathering him onto his lap. "No, I don't. I'm so sorry, Naruto..." He stroked the soft blond hair. "Does Naruto hate me?"
"No...It's ok, Sasu-nii...I'm sorry I made you mad." Naruto cuddled into the warmth that was Sasuke. He was glad that he was friends with Sasuke-nii again. "I love you the most Sasu-nii."
That got a soft chuckle. "I love you too, Naru. Now go to sleep."
"Can you stay here?" Naruto smiled when the older boy just curled up next to him. Sasuke was the best!
-Flashback End-

It was the scream that woke him. A long, gut wrenching scream that tore him away from sleep's comfort, thrusting him into reality with a painful suddenness. Sasuke ripped off the covers, and sprinted into the room opposite his, letting the door bang against the wall, almost torn off its hinges.
Naruto lay on the bed, his blond head cradled by one creased pillow, the other fallen beside the bed next to the tangle of bed clothes. Naruto still had one foot caught in that tangle. His blue eyes were wide open, his breathing deep, but at the same time ragged; his fingers clenching and unclenching like they often did nowadays. Slowly Naruto turned to look at Sasuke, his eyes saturated with fear from whatever it was that he had seen in his nightmare. For moment they got impossibly wider, before softening. "Sasu-nii…" Naruto's voice came out in a whisper.
Sasuke watched him, fighting the sudden need to wrap his arms around the boy. But he couldn't. It was like a barrier surrounded the boy, somehow Sasuke couldn't break it, couldn't go back to being the comforting presence he had been before. Suddenly, the blue eyes hardened as they came fully back to wakefulness.
"You…" The word seeped anger.
Sasuke straightened. He took a deep breath. He was supposed to comfort Naruto and be there for him. He was not allowed to keep getting irrationally angry at the boy. "Nightmare. You want to talk about it?"
"No."
Sasuke ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. "Look, would you like something to help you sleep? Like a glass of milk or something?" He was trying to be nice. He hoped Naruto would get it and stop being a brat.
Naruto's lips dragged to a side in short, unpleasant smirk. "I don't want anything from you."
Sasuke turned around, his canine firmly digging into lip like it did when he was desperately trying to control his anger. He stepped out into the corridor and then deliberately closed the door behind him. He walked quietly to his own room and shut that door too, before he gave in and slammed a fist into the ground. His life had been amazing, perfect and easy before his suicidal blond past invaded it. He had cut off from Naruto because the kid had made him weak; now here he was losing control over his emotions all over again. This time, for a different reason. This time it wasn't any kind of love, but a deep gnawing anger about the fact that the brat had even tried to die.
He took a deep breath and moved his body fluidly into the first pose for his martial arts routine. It always calmed him and the bubbling anger he was feeling, promised him a sleepless night, if he didn't find a way to tame it. Damn Naruto.

Itachi stirred the sauce clockwise precisely four times; it seemed at the perfect thickness. He dipped a spoon into it, letting it finely coat the spoon before bringing it up to his lips, his tongue flicking out to taste it. Hmm...It was just right. He turned to his audience who were watching him with very different expressions. Kyuubi looked amused, she always did when he cooked, saying he followed recipes like they were potions from Harry Potter's classes. Naruto had a tiny humorous glint in his eyes, the first expression he'd shown Itachi in days. Sasuke was giving him a look that plainly stated what he thought of Itachi's mental state.
"It's done." Itachi gave them all a pleasant curvy eyed smile.
Sasuke shook his head, moving to pick up the dish of mashed potatoes and the platter of sausages. "You're demented."
Itachi sighed. "I prefer to cook precisely by the recipe Sasuke..."
Sasuke placed the dishes on the table and allowed himself a hearty poke in Itachi's ribs, almost causing the man to drop his precious sauce. "Which explains why some of your cooking comes out so horribly."
Kyuubi grinned, her amusement increasing. "It also explains why either the cook or I will be doing the cooking when we get married."
Itachi gave them both a sad and hurt look. "Tsk tsk ...go ahead, make fun of me! Naruto!" he turned to the blond whose face had acquired a pleasant expression. "Naru, tell them how much you loved my cooking!"
Naruto smiled a tiny smile. He couldn't begrudge Itachi-nii any emotion. The man was one of his most important people. Contrary to what people thought, Itachi had been extremely attentive for three years before finally hoping things were okay with Naruto. "Itachi-nii does cook well...most times."
Itachi sighed dramatically. They all sat down around the table. Itachi and Kyuubi had dropped in at Sasuke's for dinner and to check up on Naruto. Itachi had offered to cook bangers and mash, one of Naruto's favourite "foreign" dishes. As always everyone had stayed to watch the older man murmur to himself and potter around while stiffly putting the dish together. Itachi seemed like a mad scientist when he deigned to cook.
Dinner went by with no problems. Kyuubi, when she wasn't under pressure was a really fun person to hang with. Sasuke had to grudgingly admit that he'd always gotten along with her until the night at the hospital. Laughter filled the house, albeit short and muted; it was still laughter and none of them had laughed for the past month and a half. Kyuubi left right after dinner following a phone call from her father. It left the three brothers to hang out for another hour or two before Itachi had to leave as well.
Naruto excused himself to the toilet, leaving the two Uchihas alone in the living room. Itachi cleared his throat, his hands tensing before he spoke. "Sasuke, I just really wanted to thank you."
Sasuke looked at his brother, surprise and a touch of hurt colouring his expression. "I care about him too, you know. You don't have to thank me for taking him in. I confess I was reluctant...but you should have known I wouldn't have let them take him away from us..."
Itachi shook his head. "That's not why I thanked you. I wish you'd let me finish before you start off on a rant or start taking offense. I was actually thinking of that time in the hospital...Kyuubi was very harsh. She said a lot of things about you; I want you to know that I don't share those opinions." He turned to Sasuke and slung an arm around him like in the old times. "I just wanted to say thank you for not losing your temper with her.
"I also wanted to apologize for what I said. About why I didn't come to you for help. The truth is, you left and I completely understand why you left. I didn't want to get you mired in the shit we're facing. It would hurt your own interests at this point. You left because you didn't want anything to do with our company and I respect that Sasuke."
Sasuke looked at his hands for a few minutes. He had that warm, comforted feeling that he always got around Itachi or his mother. It was like being covered in that patchwork quilt his mother had made for him when he was little to scare away the nightmares; it made him feel protected. He wondered for a minute how he could have believed that Itachi might have felt what Kyuubi had said, but then again Kyuubi was right in some ways and it was just that Itachi was too nice a person to feel that. He half smiled at his brother. "Aniki, thank you."
Naruto's arrival broke the atmosphere up and both men turned to see what they could do to cheer the younger one up. While Itachi succeeded, Sasuke failed. The younger Uchiha watched the whole scene, once again feeling inadequate and hating the fact that Itachi so easily did now what he had been able to do once long ago.

Sasuke had been working from home since Naruto had arrived. He'd been called into work by Neji, who had insisted that he couldn't handle this particular meeting on his own. The clients had also stipulated that they wanted to discuss their contract with both partners present. So Sasuke had had no choice but to lock up every sharp and potentially dangerous thing, which had taken him two hours, before locking Naruto in and leaving.
Naruto wandered down into the living room and really looked around. It was like he hadn't really looked at his surroundings in the week since he got here. Sasuke's apartment was really like Sasuke; spacious and sparsely decorated but elegant and tasteful all at the same time. Black metal and birch furnishings graced the room, a few well thumbed books, a few pretty plants, a comfortable sofa set and a few cushy armchairs. The living room joined an open kitchen and dining area. Naruto snooped around a little and found all the drawers in the kitchen locked, much to his distaste.
He threw himself into one of the armchairs and curled up, scrunching himself into it. The rainy season in Konoha was in full swing, dark clouds roiling in the sky reminding Naruto of the emotions tumbling within him in this stupid house with its stupid owner. He rubbed the deep mustard coloured fabric that covered the arms of the chair, to sooth himself. Naruto knew he was fucked in the head. He had been ever since that accident when his parents had passed away. The darkness he felt since then sometimes drowned him, the dark clawing arms of grief and pain embracing him, consuming all the light he could have ever possessed. Sometimes he just felt the need to give in, to let it have him and close his eyes but never wake up. He rubbed feverishly at the light scars on his wrists; it was why he had decided to die. He wanted to just give in and see what the worst that could happen was. It beat waking up to the same tunnel of dark every single day.
Itachi and Kyuubi had really tried. Naruto sighed tiredly. It wasn't like everyone thought it was. Itachi had made enough time for him. So had Kyuubi. Itachi had taken weeks off from work, just to be there, to make Naruto smile and make him feel loved. Kyuubi had been over all the time too, filling in for the times Itachi had to leave, taking him out, calling his friends over, cooking him wholesome meals. It made Naruto sad to think that it had gone on for three whole years. He could see that Itachi was looking worn out, working from home all the time, while still being someone Naruto could go to when he needed anything. He and Kyuubi had put their own lives on hold to make sure Naruto was okay. They weren't the reason that Naruto was the way he was.
Naruto was like this, because unlike Itachi and Kyuubi, only he knew the whole truth of that accident. Only he knew that he wasn't worthy of anything that the other two gave him. He wasn't worthy of any of that love. So one day, when he came from school to see Itachi passed out over his desk, he had looked over the papers Itachi was working on. Naruto had felt like he'd been punched in the gut when he saw the losses the company was going through. He was sixteen, he wasn't stupid. He'd been groomed to take over his father's business when he grew up. Naruto knew that if Itachi didn't buck up and start managing his company, then the Uchiha family business would fail and be bought out. He made up his mind. He would fool both Kyuubi and Itachi in to believing he was getting better. That way Itachi could concentrate on work and go to the business parties he'd been ignoring which offended the business partners and start actually taking over the company and building it up.
So the next year, he got back to smiling, being his charming self at home, all the while having his secret, that dreadful acid secret gnawing away at him. Though he couldn't keep up his grades and he was losing contact with his friends, he was really persuasive in convincing Itachi that he was okay and that he would up his grades soon. It was only in the month before last that things had gotten so hard to bear. He knew that things had gotten bad for Itachi at work, so bad that Kyuubi had written out twenty checks from her personal trust fund, to keep the Uchiha company and family afloat. Naruto had gotten sick of fighting. He had felt like a man dangling from a cliff at a rough seaside, whose arms had finally given way. He knew what he was doing would hurt Itachi; he knew his older brother would be torn apart with grief, but he also knew that Kyuubi was practical enough to keep him going. The Uchiha's would be rid of the Namikaze curse that rode them once and for all.
The drugs, well he'd started doing them a week before he'd tried dying. He had used them to make things easier. When he was high, nothing had hurt. When Itachi had burst in on him, he'd been satisfied that his older brother was the last thing he'd see. Naruto scratched at the scars as though trying to soothe the itch of guilt in his soul. Now he'd lost even Itachi and was stuck here with Sasuke.
Sasuke. Sasuke was the reason for everything. Sasuke had hurt everyone just to get back at Uchiha Fugaku though he had had a great relationship with everyone else. The traitor was the reason that any of this had happened. Naruto choked a little as he felt his eyes fill up. He choked back the sobs and refused to let the tears fall. All the sadness inside him built up slowly, reinforcing the hate he'd felt for the man. No. No. It wasn't Sasuke who was to blame...it was himself...right? Naruto bit his lip. But Sasuke was the catalyst. Stupid, righteous Sasuke, who thought he was the best thing that had happened to the race of man.
Naruto threw himself out of that chair. He hit the ground hard and then rubbed at his head. The therapy sessions just made him clam up. What he needed was to forget. He needed something else to grab his attention. Naruto thought for a moment and then let a small malicious smile slip onto his face. Sasuke.
Naruto was smart. The way he was now, he knew that only something he felt strongly for could keep his attention away from his secrets for most part. The last four years he'd hated Sasuke. Ever since he'd found out, he'd hated Sasuke. Now here he was, living with the bane of his existence. Sasuke didn't think of him as a threat. Sasuke just thought of him as a foster brother who'd gone a little nuts...nothing that therapy wouldn't cure. Sasuke was not aware of the extent of his hatred.
Naruto decided he wanted to live. He was going to live and bring Sasuke down. He'd raze everything the man had to the ground, just like Sasuke, selfish selfish Sasuke had destroyed everything Naruto had. All he had to do was find a few chinks in the ice prince's armour. A tiny small part of Naruto wailed at the thoughts surfacing in the blonds' mind, he was trying to hurt his Sasu-nii. It tried to reason with the darkness now greedily taking over and Naruto squished that part mercilessly. He wanted revenge for everything and Sasuke would taste it and feel the same anguish he had.

A soft melody filled the room, the peaceful tune draping itself about the house like a soft velvet tapestry of calm. The lithe brunet male watched Sasuke, as the architect leaned over the drafting board studying the sketches on it with the ultimate focus. The man sighed and fidgeted where he was sprawled on an armchair in the Uchiha's study; he wanted some attention and he wanted it now. He had after all, come all the way here to try and make Sasuke agree to give them one more shot. His hand smoothed back the messy mop of brown hair, rubbing it in a slightly nervous gesture before he opened his mouth.
"Sasuke..."
"No Kiba."
The confidence Kiba seemed to have gathered in his burst of hair rubbing seemed to flee. Sasuke's tone brooked no arguments. Kiba frowned and kicked at the floor a little. He had travelled fifty minutes to get here and had been subjected to all sorts of tortures; a silent and morbid foster brother, dinner with preoccupied and anxious Sasuke and the said foster brother, crazy tense atmosphere due to said foster brother and last of all this utter refusal for Sasuke to date him again.
Then again, Kiba huffed, he shouldn't have been surprised. He and Sasuke had dated since they were fourteen in an on and off manner. They had known each other since Sasuke was ten. So he knew Naruto a little bit, though he was a little shocked to see what had become of the little tyke who used to follow them about when Kiba had dropped in to visit. He and Sasuke had dated for a year and then broken it off when Sasuke went to college, then gotten back together for a bit when they were nineteen and then broken up again, until Sasuke had really ended things a year later when they were twenty. Even now, two years later Kiba continued to hope. Actually this was a last ditch attempt to get Sasuke to agree, if not Kiba had made up his mind that he would move on. No matter how difficult.
It seemed like the time had come.
The brunet sighed and stretched, still watching Sasuke fake his ultimate focus. Kiba had been watching him all evening. He had seen the little twitches Sasuke made in the direction of his foster brother's room and how the Uchiha had once in a while strained to hear any sounds coming from that direction. He smiled to himself, when he'd seen Sasuke take way to many bathroom breaks as an excuse to check on the boy. But then again, that was Sasuke for you. Cold hearted bastard when it came down to everyone but Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto.
Sasuke had always been a sucker for that kid, well until that sudden change of heart. A sudden seed of guilt tore hungrily at Kiba, when he thought of the last time he'd seen Naruto. He shook off that memory. Instead, he thought of the times Sasuke had run off to make sure Naruto was okay, even once in the middle of school.

-Flashback-
It was a cloudy autumn day; red dead leaves flew lazily across the playground to join their fellows in the huge piles gathered all over. Kiba and a few other friends sat under a birch tree, their bento's open, sharing food, gossip and homework. Sasuke was staring at the big building next to theirs, a little puzzled. It was the primary school. Even though they had lunch an hour after the kids, Naruto usually had recess and would come up to see Sasuke as well as get coddled by all their female friends. No one really minded. Sasuke himself was two years younger than their class anyway.
Kiba liked the little tyke. He was starting to discover that his feelings for Sasuke were turning into a crush just recently. He had also realised that if he and Sasuke ever went out, the little tyke would be around a lot too since their school had grades all the way from one to twelve on the same grounds, just in different buildings. Sometimes he wished the Uchihas had just sent Naruto to the new school they were going to send him to instead of Sasuke's.
It was halfway through the lunch period and Naruto was still nowhere in sight. Kiba glanced over at Sasuke; a tiny crease between his eyebrows marred his usually expressionless face. Kiba swore that Naruto was the only person Sasuke cared for. Well, to that extent at least. Kiba had only seen Sasuke smile when Naruto was around, he didn't smile so much even for Itachi.
Suddenly there was the sound of feet and a small boy came towards them at a run. He was short and brown pony tailed with a pair of lazy eyes. Kiba knew that this kid was the laziest of Naruto's class, but right now he looked utterly frightened. He ran straight up to Sasuke.
"Sasuke-san! Sasuke-san!" the little boy was panting so hard; he could barely get words out. He composed himself quickly enough. "It's Naruto!"
At that Sasuke grabbed the little kid's shoulders, suddenly very alert. Kiba could tell by the set of his back that Sasuke was extremely tense. "What happened Shikamaru? Where's Naruto?"
Shikamaru flopped onto the grass. "We were playing at recess and this kid from the third grade dared him to go into the woods. I told Naruto that he shouldn't and that it was dangerous but he went anyway. It's been a long time, he went at the end of lunch break and he's still not back. I didn't want to tell Anko-sensei in case he got into trouble."
Sasuke's face had drained of any colour. The woods that bordered their school weren't large, but it was wide enough for a small boy to get lost in. It also had enough tangled roots and slimy rocks for anyone to injure themselves. Kiba stood up just as Sasuke took off towards the woods by the primary school building. He tore after Sasuke, hoping that the little tyke was okay.
He searched with Sasuke for the next hour. The Uchiha looked like he was on the verge of panicking. His eyes were slightly red around the edges like he was close to crying too. They'd scored the whole southern half of the woods and were now searching the remainder of them. Kiba sighed, if Shikamaru was right, then Naruto had been missing for an hour and forty five minutes. Hopefully, the little one had found his way back and their search was futile.
"Naruto! Naruto are you there?"
Sasuke's voice was hoarse with fear and amount of time he'd spent shouting for the little boy. He trudged on before screaming once more. Kiba was just about to reach out to Sasuke and give him a comforting hug, when they heard it. It was a tiny, scared voice, which sound pretty close. Sasuke turned left sharply, calling to the boy again.
Finally they reached a small space in the woods, a dip, to be precise. Naruto sat in the dip, clutching at his ankle, his face stained with tears and grime, his clothes all wet. Sasuke practically lunged for the small one, grabbing him in a rough hug, while still being careful about his ankle.
"Naruto..." Sasuke's voice almost broke with relief. "Naru...silly silly Naru!"
Kiba stayed a little distance away watching. He knew now was not the time, but he felt utterly jealous of the little boy. The amount of love and relief in the way Sasuke was saying Naruto's name made him wish that someday Sasuke might say his own name like that.
Naruto began to cry into Sasuke's shirt, clutching at the older boy with the same tight grip that he was in. "Sasu-nii...Sasu-nii..."
Sasuke finally let go of him and looked at him a little admonishingly. "Naruto! I've told you so many times never to go into the woods alone! I was so scared! What happened?"
The seven year old sniffled pitifully. "Kenji dared me. I had to do it otherwise he'd call me scaredy cat! I wasn't really scared, so I ran in. It was so easy, there was nothing to be scared of...so I just kept running, but then I slipped and fell. I couldn't get up. My leg hurts, Sasu-nii it hurts a lot!" the last part came out in a wail.
Sasuke swore as he saw the red, hot ankle, which had swollen to twice its size. Naruto had twisted it when he fell it seemed. Sasuke started when Kiba handed him a wet hanky. The brunet smiled.
"It'll make him feel better."
Sasuke nodded and tightly bandaged the foot. Then he heaved Naruto onto his shoulders, taking the little boy piggy back. His heart was still racing slightly. If Shikamaru hadn't come to him, then maybe Naruto would still be here, until someone realised what had happened. Sasuke knew he was over thinking things, but nothing had scared him quite this badly.
Naruto snuggled into his back, his face so hot against his neck that Sasuke worried he might have a fever. His little boy's breath caressed his ear. "I knew you'd come and save me Sasuke-nii."
Sasuke half smiled at the boy. "Always Naru..."
"I love you, Sasuke-nii."
"I love you too..."
For a moment there, Kiba felt like an intruder. He suddenly felt like he had a contender for Sasuke's affections, before brushing it off...the kid was only seven. But the annoyed feeling about how much Sasuke cared for Naruto never left him.
-Flashback End-

Kiba stood up suddenly, his face serious and his eyes shrewd. He walked the few steps to Sasuke's drafting board almost leisurely. He placed his hand on the arm chair in front of the drafting board, leaning slightly as if he'd realised something during his musings. He slid the pencil out of Sasuke's hand with the same leisurely pace and looked right into the Uchiha's eyes when that got Sasuke's attention. Then he moved closer to the taller male and leaned up to kiss Sasuke full on the mouth, slow and soft.
Naruto, who had been about to walk into the study to ask Sasuke something, was frozen in mid step. Sasuke was kissing his ex-boyfriend. There was something soft about that kiss, it made Naruto back out slowly and flatten himself against the wall, wanting to leave to calm the wild way his heart was beating but wanting to hear what this was all about. He doubted they were going to have sex.
Back inside the room, after what felt like hours Sasuke pushed Kiba away and stepped back. "What the fuck did you think you were doing, Inuzuka?"
"Kissing you."
"What made you think you had that right? I told you we're over and I told you that last year." Sasuke was seething with anger.
"I came over to see if you'd give me another chance...that was just me checking to see if you really did want to end things..."
Sasuke wanted to hit the man. Kiba always pushed him too far. Kiba always wanted too much. "I am done fucking your ass into the sheets. I've been dating quite a lot recently, so your services will not be necessary. Would you like me to be more frank?"
Kiba tensed, a hurt look flashing in his eyes before his head fell forwards; his hair hiding his eyes. His lips curved into a smile, a bitter one at that. "I expected you to be harsh." He looked up, a bitter laugh following that. "I guess this is it then. But let me ask you one thing Sasuke, why did you let Naruto stay here?"
Sasuke's eyes widened and he floundered. "I...Kyuubi...well I'm not heartless!"
Kiba's smile turned into a grimace. "No...When it comes to Naruto you're not. I wondered. When you stopped talking to that brat, when you cut him off...I was there the day you made him cry. You remember, Sasuke? You hurt him by being so harsh, that he cried in front of us all...he ran away, but he didn't see how much of that hurt you mirrored did he? Why did you go that far to cut him off, Sasuke?"
"He was a weakness. I had to rid of it to move forwards..."
Outside Naruto tensed, suddenly wondering where Kiba was going with this conversation.
Kiba's fists clenched. "HE STILL IS!" the yell surprised them both and Kiba fought to control himself. "He still is your weakness, Sasuke. I used to wish you could show me one iota of the love you had for him. One tiny bit of that consideration...but you still made me feel like a use and throw object. Almost nine years Sasuke! We've dated one and off for that long. We've known each other for even longer! I just wished that you cared...at least a little bit."
Sasuke walked to the window and looked outside resolutely. "I do, Kiba. Just not enough. That kid...the kid is not a weakness anymore."
Kiba shook his head though Sasuke couldn't see him. "I know you better than that Sasuke...he is. I just hadn't known how much he meant to you. You've spent all these years trying to squish it, but you and I both know why you took him in. We both know exactly why you left him back then."
Sasuke whirled around suddenly and punched Kiba hard; there was a clatter of chairs and desks falling over. Fear and anger warred within his dark eyes, creating a churning black sea in them. "Get out! Get the fuck out of here and don't you dare come back."
Naruto heard footsteps approaching slid towards a niche in the wall. He could barely see Kiba walking away from him and down to the living room. He heard the door shut and waited a few minutes before allowing himself a peek into the study. Sasuke was sitting on the floor in the middle of the whole mess, his hands tight in his hair and his back rising with slow deep breaths. Naruto retreated and headed back to his bedroom. From all the churning thoughts in his head, only one rang as strongly as gong. He was Sasuke's weakness. The darkness in Naruto swirled that information around, tasting it, teasing it and coming to one conclusion. He could use it to destroy that traitor...

His hands traced the gravestones lovingly, passing over the rough-smooth surface of the grey stone, eyes lost in far away memories. His mouth moved slightly, almost like he was talking to them as he comfortably sat between them. A few rays of pale sun filtered through the gap in the thick clouds, catching all the different blond tints in his hair and making his skin glow. Sasuke leaned against a tree, watching his foster brother, as he spoke to their parent's graves. Sasuke had been a little surprised when Naruto had asked to go out today, but then again, he should have remembered that it was his parent's death anniversary.
Sasuke had never been able to understand how Naruto could have been so attached to his parents. They really weren't the best parents around...well his father wasn't...the way Sasuke had turned out was proof of that. His mouth turned down at the corners as a fleeting bit of resentment flashed in him, the thought that had started everything that had happened settled in his mind again. Naruto was different. His parents had loved Naruto. He bit his lip as he remembered his father being tender with Naruto after the incident when the boy had drawn all over the contracts. Sasuke closed his eyes and leaned back taking a few deep breaths. He was twenty two for crying out loud. He should be able to give up all that resentment, especially now that Naruto was going to be living with him.
But Sasuke was only human. It is a strange quirk of human nature, that it's the small things that make the biggest differences. Sasuke's age didn't really matter. He had achieved so much in his life because of his drive to become better at everything. But that drive was fuelled by his need to be recognised by his parents. His parents seemed to recognise only Naruto. So the Sasuke, who hated the attention Naruto was receiving, grew to despise the boy. But little Naruto lit up Sasuke's days; he gave Sasuke attention, recognition and love. Sasuke had loved Naruto far more than he despised him. It was the day Sasuke had realised that he would do anything for the little bundle of sunshine, even give up his own dreams that Sasuke had cut himself off.
It was that day that Sasuke realised he wasn't the most important person in Naruto's life. That Naruto would be fine even if he, Sasuke, wasn't around. It didn't matter that the whole incident was a tiny tiny thing. He was sure Naruto would have forgotten about it by now. But the amount he had begun to depend on Naruto being there, had frightened the thirteen year old and Sasuke had ripped away that weakness.
His onyx eyes caught on a tiny droplet that was sliding down Naruto's cheek and followed it down to the perfect jaw from where it plummeted to the grass. Now, watching the few silent tears sliding down his golden foster brother's face, it came home to Sasuke that his weakness was back with a force of a hard kick to the groin. The raven turned away and focused on the rows and rows of graves spanning out in front of him. It seemed like he was destined to be split in two about his feelings for Naruto.
The golden haired boy raised a grubby hand and wiped his eyes. He hoped Sasuke-teme wasn't watching. He allowed himself a tiny glance in the raven's direction only to find the man calm and composed as he gazed away to the right, looking at the rest of the graveyard. That ultra calm look gnawed at Naruto, feeding the ocean of hatred that always seemed to wash his insides these days. Sasuke had no right to be calm! He had betrayed them all. What was worse, Naruto had seen him do it. Sasuke had sold his family, sold Naruto to get his freedom. Sasuke had murdered his parents. Naruto remembered the time his parents had died, the accident, the conversation in the hospital bed and those red eyes.
His fingers scrabbled desperately at the stone graves with enough forces to break a nail or two. His voice hitched a little as the desperate secret that had haunted him for the past four years slid through his lips in an apology. The same one he'd made every year since that horrible day.
"It wasn't all Sasuke was it? It was me. You died because of me..."

A/N: Phew I wonder why I always end up sad and yearning for something after writing for this story, but it lends a drama to my life I have yet to tire of. So what did you think? Please enlighten me, since when I read what you guys thought, it give me much more food for thought and encourages me beyond all boundaries! Hugs! Take care!
If any of this tends to seem cliché, well I won't let it be, but if I fail, I still promise you a good read!
Taka
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