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Dial Tone	By : antilogicgirl Category: Naruto AU/AR > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1378 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters therein. I make no money or profit from this fiction.

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Title: Dial Tone
Genre: Romance/Comedy
Series: Naruto
Pair: Kakashi/Iruka

Summary: It had been happening for six months; calls in the middle of the night. Heavy breathing and erotic noises. Should he have called the police?

Author's Note: You know, it was funny how some of you guys thought that Iruka bored Mr. Stalker enough that he hung up. Bored? Certainly not. He might have been just a tad angry, though. I suppose that if you have a stalker that calls every night and whacks it to the sound of your voice, maybe you shouldn't talk about another man's voice...

II: Crank Call

Iruka walked into The Dancing Goat at his usual time, but felt significantly better rested. The morning rush was over, so he had no competition for Kakashi's attention at the counter. “Morning, Kakashi,” he said in his usual pleasant tone.

“Sure is,” There was a crease between Kakashi's prematurely gray brows, and the corners of his mouth tried to sink downward in a frown. Iruka saw tension in his shoulders and his movements were jerky. Before he could ask what was wrong, the taller man jabbed at buttons on the cash register and said grumpily, “Three fifty-two.”

Over Kakashi's shoulder, Uchiha Sasuke caught Iruka's eye. He's being pissy, mouthed the young man. That, Iruka could agree with. However, he could not say that he enjoyed being on the undeserved receiving end of Kakashi's ire. He forked over the required cash and took the coffee Sasuke handed him. Before moving over to his usual table, he muttered, “Jesus, and I thought I needed to get laid.” If looks could kill, Iruka would have been pushing daisies. Kakashi looked like he was ready to dump an entire steaming-hot carafe of Nigerian coffee over Iruka's head.

Instead, he impotently slammed the cash drawer and disappeared into the kitchen. Iruka's eyebrows rose nearly to his hairline. He stood next to his table, staring at the door through which Kakashi had gone. Then, he looked at Sasuke, who looked back at him. “What's his problem?”

With a shrug, Sasuke said, “Who knows. My money's on the fact that he hasn't had a date in more than half a year.” That surprised Iruka greatly. He'd always thought that Kakashi would have been some big ladies' man. While he'd come in every morning for coffee and chat with him, Iruka realized that he knew next to nothing about Kakashi's personal life. For all he knew, he dressed in drag and liked being tied up during sex. Images of exactly that flitted through Iruka's mind, and a familiar pressure started to build in his groin.

“Could I take this to go, Sasuke? I have an errand to run before going to campus.”

--

Iruka groaned as he collapsed against the wall next to his bathtub. This was getting ridiculous. If he started masturbating to the thought of Kakashi, then what was next? He looked down at himself and sighed in resignation. Semen stained his pale blue dress shirt, all the way to the collar, and a little had gotten onto his favorite tie. Luckily he didn't need to change his pants, so he was going to thank God for small miracles.

--

1:02AM

Iruka stared at the phone. Maybe he wasn't going to call.

1:15AM

He wasn't going to call. Iruka turned out the light.

1:48AM

R I N G . . . R I N G

Jolted awake, Iruka grabbed the phone, dropped it, and dove to the floor. Once he pressed the little glowing button, he said breathlessly, “Hello?” Panting breaths answered him, and he felt a very strange rush of relief. “I thought you weren't going to call tonight.”

The sounds on the other end of the phone were desperate. Iruka could relate. “Did I make you angry when I said I touched myself thinking of another man's voice?” All he got in response was a growl. “I'll take that as a yes. This might make you angry too, but I can't keep it to myself...” Iruka then took a deep breath. “I see a man every morning, and I guess we're pretty good acquaintances. Almost friends. But today I had a really vivid, very kinky fantasy about him.” Behind his eyelids, Iruka saw Hatake Kakashi spread-eagle on his bed, tied to the head and footboard, and wearing a vinyl mini-dress, fishnet stockings and patent-leather stiletto boots. “He was in drag...and I tied him to my bed. I know you're probably hating me right now, but he's got the longest legs, and these amazing lips...”

“I pulled up the tiny skirt and had a hell of a time getting him out of those lacy little panties. Then I straddled him and rode him until he couldn't go anymore...” The man on the other end of the line swallowed hard, and gave a low moan. “You don't mind when I talk about him, then? Neither do I...”

--

When Iruka walked through the door the next morning, Kakashi was already pouring his coffee. Stirring in the sugar and milk, he set it down on the counter and waved off Iruka's attempt to pay. He then followed Iruka to his accustomed table and sat down. “I'm sorry,” Kakashi blurted, “I was a dick.”

Iruka nodded slightly. “Only a little.”

A squeaking sound started coming from Kakashi's chair, and other than rogue mice, Iruka had to assume that one of the taller man's insanely long legs was twitching nervously. “Iruka...” Kakashi's voice was hesitant, and he began to blush. “Would you...I mean do you think you'd want...” He reached out and gripped the table with both hands and forced his leg to stop moving. “Have dinner with me.”

The bottom dropped out of Iruka's stomach. “I'm sorry?”

Sasuke walked by, hefting a bus pan full of cups and plates. “He's asking you on a date, you moron.”

It was Iruka's turn to flush red, which he did in three seconds flat. “I...” He stammered, looking after Sasuke as if he'd just punched him in the gut.

The dark-haired youth set down the tub of dishes with a clatter. He then crossed his arms over his chest and said sarcastically, “You mean you didn't see him ogling you every day for a year? Put him out of his misery, Iruka.”

Finally, he looked back at Kakashi, who was watching him hopefully. “I thought you were straight?”

A secretive smile bent Kakashi's mouth upward. “Not really.”

“And you like me? When you could have any man you want?”

“Correction,” Sasuke yelled from in the kitchen, “He can't have me!”

Kakashi called back, “Shut up, twerp! You're too skinny for me!” Iruka smiled at this exchange. Kakashi looked at Iruka again, and peeled one of his hands off of the table so that he could brush his fingertips over the back of Iruka's hand. “Was that all? You thought I was straight?” Iruka nodded. “Well I'm not. Will you let me take you to dinner? Tomorrow...say eight o'clock?”

Iruka bit his lip. That was pretty late. If they stayed out long, then he would miss his call. Kakashi's eyes were all but pleading, however, so he relented. “Yes, tomorrow is fine.” His friend on the phone would just have to flog the bishop without him.

--

Iruka fell back against his pillow, sweat covering his entire body. “Oh, God...” He had just said out loud things that he never thought he would, and was very glad that it was warm enough to sleep naked. The dial tone buzzed in his ear, proof that the man had hung up after he was done. Now, in spite of his nearly mind-blowing orgasm, Iruka was beginning to feel used.

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Dial Tone