Denial | By : djserani Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female > Kakashi/Sakura Views: 4298 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: As always, I don't own the world or characters, I just like to torment them. Kishimoto-sensei gets to keep them permanently. (I make no money from it!) |
He was here. Why? He wasn't sick. Physicals weren't due. He wasn't injured.
She leaned against the door to her office and counted to ten. She had to calm her heart down, had to get a grip on herself. It wasn't like they didn't pass each other on the streets. It wasn't as if he didn't wave and say hi, just like always. And she waved back.
It was true they hadn't been on a mission together in months. She couldn't remember the last time they'd trained together. And they'd never really seen each other socially. Being at the ninja bar at the same time didn't count.
It shouldn't be this hard just to walk by him. Sakura banged her head once against the door. This is ridiculous.
She took a deep breath and opened the door. He was standing at the end of the hall, Icha Icha volume in hand, pretending to read. He leaned negligently against the wall, as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to be there, which was bullshit. He hated hospitals.
She twisted the knob and pulled the door closed. Stuffing her hands into the pockets of her lab coat, she started down the hall. When she stopped a few feet from him, he looked up. His good eye crinkled in what she knew was a smile.
"Hi."
She had to swallow hard to be able to speak. She managed a twisted facsimile of a smile and said, "Hi." When he didn't say anything else at first, just stood staring at her, she tried again. "Is…something wrong?"
He shook his head. "No." He tucked his book back into his pouch.
"Oh." She paused, confused. "Then…why are you here?"
He stared at her another minute before looking away. "I'm being sent out."
The disappointment was keen. "Oh. When?"
"Now. When I'm done here, I've got to go." He seemed to be having as much trouble talking as she was.
"How…" she had to clear the lump again. "How long?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. As short as possible. Basic escort mission."
She was going to cry again. She wasn't allowed. Once a day, that was all she'd let herself do. And she'd already done her crying for the day a few hours ago. Into his pillow, the smell of him surrounding her, on the spot on her bed where he'd lain.
She turned around. She couldn't let him see the tears, couldn't let him know what she was feeling. She took a deep breath. She had to say something, but as she opened her mouth, someone called to her.
"Oh, good, Sakura!" Sakura turned around as Tsunade approached. "You're both here. I know I told you earlier, Kakashi, that it would be a solo mission, but I've got some new information." She handed him a scroll, and when he opened it and started to read, she turned back to Sakura. "You're done for the day. Go home and pack. Be prepared to camp. You'll be gone for quite a while."
Sakura stood there, stunned. "Me, too?"
Tsunade watched as she tried unsuccessfully to pull herself together. "Yes. I know you haven't been out in a long while, but I need you specifically for this."
"I'm already ready. I'll go with her, I can brief her on the way. We can meet our escort at the gates in half an hour." Kakashi stood up, then turned to Sakura. "Do you need anything from your office?"
Sakura blinked. "Oh, yes."
"Good. Get moving." Tsunade gave Sakura one more long look and headed to the nurse's station.
In a daze, Sakura walked back to her office with Kakashi on her heels. She took off the lab coat and missed the hook on her door. Kakashi caught it and hung it up for her. She pulled her purse out of her desk drawer and turned back to Kakashi.
He ached to reach out and just touch. "Are you okay?"
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes briefly. "Yes, actually. I am."
He waited until they were outside in the sunshine. He stuffed his hands into his pockets to keep from touching her. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and watched as she forced her emotions under wraps. He could almost see the shift into shinobi. "Okay, what's going on?"
"Originally, I was to escort the daimyo of Wave Country and his daughter down into Tea Country. Apparently, there's a political wedding between her and the son of Tea's daimyo." He paused as Sakura rolled her eyes. He thought he caught something about political bullshit, and couldn't fight the smile. "Right. There's a reason I didn't want Hokage. Anyway, as they got to Konoha, the daimyo was called back - some dispute or another in their port town - and he can't finish the trip. So, while he wants my combat expertise, he's not too comfortable with me escorting his daughter alone."
Sakura snorted.
"Yeah, I know that, and so do you. But he doesn't." He paused. Nobody does. He shook it off. "Anyway, the bigger reason is that the scroll Tsunade gave me also indicates that she's not in good health. There are specifics that I couldn't begin to understand. You'll have to read them."
She nodded. "Okay. Are we walking the whole way with her?"
"We are. She'll have a carriage, but it'll be taken up mostly with her luggage and herself."
That was fine with Sakura. She didn't think she could handle sitting in close quarters with him all day long, every day, without going completely insane. "How far into Tea Country?"
Kakashi hesitated. "The whole way. She's going to Port City."
Sakura stopped. "But…why didn't she just sail, then? Wouldn't it have been simpler?"
He turned to her. "Apparently, she gets deathly sick on a ship."
"Great. Okay, well…" She sighed, "I do have some packing to do. We better hurry." They took to the roofs, travelling the ninja way. When they made it to her apartment, she unlocked the front door and kicked her sandals off. "Damn, I really should shower."
Kakashi glanced at the clock. "There's time."
She nodded and shoved her longing for him to join her to the back of her mind. "I'll be five minutes."
In the shower, she gave herself two of those minutes to let some of her emotions out. This mission was going to kill her, she knew it. Walking, it was easily more than a week to the Port City of Tea. And even if they started back right away, and travelling the ninja way, it was going to be another three days to get home.
Nearly two weeks in his company and for at least the first one, unable to touch him at all. She sighed, fought the urge to put her fist through the tile and shut the water off. She buried her face in the towel and didn't see him as he came to the bathroom door.
"If you don't get dressed soon, she'll be waiting for a lot longer than half an hour." His voice, rough with something she was afraid to name, pulled her out of her reverie.
She blushed and held the towel in front of herself. "Right. Um, if you'll let me by?"
He stepped to the side and she carefully wrapped the towel around her before nearly running into the bedroom. His amused voice followed her. "A little late to worry about modesty, isn't it?"
She spun around, glaring at him. Then dropped the towel and gave him an eyeful before shutting the door in his face. The sound of shattering could easily be heard throughout the apartment.
He didn't know what made him say that. Things were hard enough without him going out of his way to piss her off. Whatever his mood, whatever his problems with their… well, with them, he didn't have a right to goad her.
He turned back to her living room and sat on her lumpy, ancient couch. He pulled out his book, but even that couldn't hold his attention. Sighing, he shoved it back in place, leaned his head back and closed his eyes.
Forbidden. He was starting to hate that word. Illegal was just as bad, and just as true. It was against the rules of the ninja corps to have a relationship with her. A former student, she was off limits, pure and simple. It was an old rule, but one that was still passed on. Every time the jonin were chosen to lead a genin team, they were reminded of it.
She had long since gone beyond any student of his. As Tsunade's apprentice, she'd certainly bypassed any kind of training he could give her. Hell, she was a jonin herself.
So, in truth, by this time, the damned rule shouldn't apply. But it did. And so they weren't supposed to be.
He knew what he saw in her eyes every night. What they pleaded with him silently, but she never spoke them. She never asked. And he could only be left with the thought that by the light of day, she thought better of it.
He sighed to himself and tried to shift his thinking toward the mission. That didn't help, with her on the mission with him. She'd be there, every minute of the next two weeks and he was certain he was going to go insane.
She came out a few minutes later, her pack on her back, her boots in her hand. She dropped them by the door, then went into the kitchen. "Bottle of tea? I've got two left."
"Sure." He said. He ran his hands over his face, then stood up, taking the tea from her outstretched hand. "Thank you."
She nodded and twisted the lid off of her bottle. She downed half of it in one long drink, then went to her windows and closed and locked them before going to the door. She plopped down, then yanked first one boot onto her foot and adjusted it before moving to the other. When she was satisfied, she stood up, dragged her pack onto her back and turned to him. "Well, we better go."
He watched the whole process, annoyed with himself for not being able to take his eyes off of her. He took another drink of his tea, then carefully capped it again. He took the three short steps across her living room and stopped right in front of her. He needed just one touch, one kiss before they left, so he lowered his mask and bent toward her.
He could feel her breathing speed up and when she put her hand on the side of his face and stood up on her toes to meet his lips with her own, he was ridiculously happy. Her lips parted and her tongue ran along his bottom lip tentatively.
He couldn't have held back if Pein had risen from the dead and was knocking the building down. He opened his mouth and made love to hers. His hands came up to cup her face, hold her to him. Her arms went around him and he reveled in the feel of her body up against his, even outside his vest and clothes.
It was only a couple of minutes, but he could have been there all day and he wouldn't have known. But when they broke apart, sanity reasserted itself. "We have to go."
She refused to feel the disappointment. He was right, they had to get moving. She fought to get her breathing under control. She looked up into his good eye, memorized, again, his face, then pulled his mask up for him. "Let's go."
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