Walking a Mile

The knocking at the door sounded—and felt—like hammering on his skull. Sasuke groaned and rolled over, determined not to allow anyone to dictate his morning. Then he realized he was on a hard floor and someone was talking.

—

Naruto had kept his wits and answered the door, still only clad in boxers. It was Izumo.

"Hey, I heard a scream, sounded like it came from here."

Naruto gave an uncomfortable giggle. "Oh, you heard that?"

"Well, yeah. Sounded like someone stuck a kuni into Naruto."

Naruto laughed at little; Izumo looked at him like he'd lost it. "Well, you see . . ."

Sasuke chose that moment to sit up and staggered toward the door. On seeing Naruto again, he screamed and fainted again.

Izumo's eyebrows nearly joined his hairline.

"What's with him?"

"We got drunk last night. Alcohol does strange things to people I guess."

Izumo gave him a strange look and Naruto, as dense as he may normally be, interpreted it correctly. "Nothing happened."

"You sure it was just alcohol?"

Naruto chuckled again. "I really don't know."

"Perhaps you should gag him. Who knew alcohol could make you giggle like a schoolgirl, Sasuke." Izumo walked away and Naruto shut the door.

—

When Sasuke woke up for third time, he was not gagged, but he was blindfolded.

"What the . . ."

"Sasuke, don't freak out, okay? Promise?"

"Itachi?"

Naruto laughed, "Naw, it's Naruto."

"You don't sound like Naruto."

"Well, you don't sound like Sasuke either."

"What do you mean?"

"Promise you won't freak out?"

"You're freaking me out now!"

"Just stay calm and I'll take the blindfold off, okay?"

"Just do it already."

Naruto reached around Sasuke to untie the blindfold and pulled it away slowly. As soon as Sasuke realized he wasn't looking into a mirror, he made to scream. Naruto pressed his hands desperately to Sasuke's mouth and winced. All of Sasuke's screaming was doing nothing for his hangover. But at least Sasuke didn't faint this time. Once the muffled screamed stopped, Naruto released him.

"What the hell! Why did you . . . Why are you in my . . ." If it hadn't been for the memory of seeing Naruto's reflection when he looked in the mirror, Sasuke would have thought Naruto had transformed into him. But he was also in his clothes.

"Stop yelling! Geez, I don't know."

Sasuke looked down at himself. His skin was a healthy bronze instead of his normal pasty white and the muscles were more obvious than his own lean muscle. Panicking, he made a hand sign and yelled "Release!"

"I already tried that. Nothing happened."

"What did you do?"

"What did I do? Why do you think this is my fault?"

"It's always your fault. This is the last time I'm ever drinking with you!"

"Keep it down! Izumo already heard your screaming."

"Maybe Shikamaru knows what happened. Lets find him."

"Right."

Sasuke went for his own clothes, then realized they wouldn't fit. "Oh, no. I have to wear that god-awful color?"

"Well, I'm the one who has the wear the 'look at my toned chest' shirt. Don't you own anything with buttons or a zipper."

"Naruto, I swear, once you're out of my body, I'm going to kill you."

—

Dressed in the proper clothes, the pair clumsy made their way to Shikamaru's house. Naruto pounded on the door. "Shikamaru!"

"Don't do that!" Sasuke said. "I would never lose my cool like that. You're going to ruin my reputation."

"Like you didn't lose your cool this morning."

"You ever tell anyone about that I'll kill you."

"You'll try."

Shikamaru opened the door. "Keep it down. Don't you two have hangovers? I guess the Kyubi and an Uchiha are immune."

In unison, Naruto and Sasuke pushed Shikamaru into his house and Sasuke shut the door.

"What happened last night?"

"What? What's with the two of you?"

"What happened?"

"Why, someone plunder the place or set it on fire?"

"Just tell us?"

"Okay, okay. How troublesome. We were drinking at the bar, then took the party back to Sasuke's and drank some more. Then Ino showed up. I got sick of the way she was flirting with Sasuke that I left. That's all I know."

"Ino!" Sasuke exclaimed. "That explains it. Naruto, let's go!"

"Wha?" Shikamaru said, hearing Naruto call Sasuke Naruto. But before he could ask a composed question, the pair were gone.

—

"Ino!" Sasuke called up at the flower shop. It was Sunday and the shop wouldn't open for another hour.

"Go away, Naruto," she yelled back without looking out the window.

Sasuke was shocked, no one ever ignored him.

"You sound like me remember. Let me try." Naruto cleared his throat in an amazingly annoying manner and Sasuke wanted to belt him for making his body do that. "Ino!" Naruto called in a seductive manner.

Ino appeared instantly in the window. "Sasuke-kun!"

"We need to talk to you." Naruto was still using a lilting tone and Sasuke elbowed him.

Ino seemed to magically appear at the door. She let Naruto in, but tried to shut the door on Sasuke.

"Ino!" Sasuke yelled. He was not used to this kind of treatment. She let him in.

"Ino, what exactly happened last night?" Naruto asked.

"Nothing much. You two were already drunk when I got there. Shikamaru bailed, we drank a bit, talked about jutsu and then I left."

"What jutsu? Did you try any out on us?" Sasuke asked.

She looked disdainfully at Sasuke. "As if." She snuggled closer to Naruto and Sasuke was surprised to feel a little jealous, that was the treatment he always got, as annoying as it was, he had grown to expect it. "But I'd love to know what goes on in your mind, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke was mortified to see a self-satisfied leer on his own features.

"Naruto!" Ino looked at him confused. "I'm Sasuke, Ino. That's Naruto."

"That's not funny."

"Tell me about it."

"He's telling the truth Ino. We woke up and we . . . weren't ourselves."

"You're serious?"

Sasuke bent to whisper in her ear and she went pale. Pulling back, he said, "You never told that to Naruto, right?"

"Oh my god! You are Sasuke!"

"What'd you'd say?"

"Shut up Naruto!" Ino yelled at him.

"Well, at least she believes us now."

"You two must have . . . Oh my god."

"Stop saying that!" Sasuke said. "Can this be reversed?"

"Well, I think so. But I don't know how."

"What do you mean you don't know how?" Naruto asked.

"My father should know, but he's off on a mission; he won't be back for a week."

"A week!" They both screamed.

"I've got to be in this ramen soaked, orange-wearing, dobe's body for a week!" Sasuke was too rattled to even think up any descent insults, which, when we're talking about Sasuke insulting Naruto, is saying something.

Naruto didn't really look that put out.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "You better not get any ideas. You do one thing out of character for me and I'll make sure that when you get your body back, you'll never be able to pick up a kuni ever again!"

"Oh relax. The only thing I'll do is give you a taste for ramen and make people think someone finally pulled that stick from out your ass."

"Naruto!"

"Whoa, settle down," Ino said. "I think the two of you should just stay close to each other and not go out too often."

"What do you mean?"

"Stay close to each other?"

"Experimenting with this type of jutsu might not even be legal. Some jutsu has time limits, but if you're too far away from each other, you might not make it back to your own bodies."

"Okay, but we're staying at my place," Sasuke said.

"Why your place?"

"'Cause mine doesn't look like a landfill."

"Well, we better stock up on ramen."

"Why?"

"Duh, cause I like ramen."

"You're in my body; no ramen."

"Then you better eat a lot of ramen; my body's expecting it."

"I don't think so."

"I bet all you eat is vegetables. Talk about boring. That's why you always walk around looking like you've got a stick up your butt!"

"Naruto," Sasuke growled.

"Guys!" Ino said. "I'm sorry, I know this is partially my fault, but could you go argue like a married couple somewhere else; this is freakin' me out!"