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Dark, Light and the Shadows Between (complete)	By : momhuey8 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1491 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Sasuke sat on his bathroom floor amid scattered first aid supplies. There was nothing in the assortment, however, to heal his pain.
Tears dripped from his chin as anguish tore through him.
Fuck! His life was a mess. And his future was… A choked sound left him. He couldn't think about his future.
Eight months ago, he'd never thought his life could actually get worse. He'd sat next to Orochimaru's body for a full day really looking inside himself for the first time in years.
Suddenly, or perhaps not so suddenly, when Orochimaru wanted to do the transfer, Sasuke hadn't wanted to die. Why? What did it all mean? What did he want?
He'd thought of his brother and realized that what he'd wanted more than revenge was answers. The massacre was a giant hole inside him that the death of his brother could not fill. Indeed, he'd realized, it would only make the hole bigger, and ultimately, impossible to ever fill. And he'd had this sense, that without understanding Itachi's actions, and rushing headlong based on suggestions and manipulations of others, he was likely dancing to other people's tunes.
He may well end up having to mete out punishment to Itachi someday, but he no longer felt the single-minded rush to do so. He needed more information, some sort of understanding. It was going to mean stepping out of his isolation and maybe asking for help from someone he could trust. Naruto…
Naruto…
Naruto had been a large part of that night-long vigil. Now that he let himself think beyond training, vengeance and the self-preservation that came with living in Orochimaru's twisted, perverted and violent environment, he admitted that he'd missed his best friend terribly.
Amidst the calming sounds of the night, he remembered laughter and playing. He remembered shared dreams of the future; children's dreams of becoming great ninja, heroes. He remembered caring again. And he remembered sudden bursts of …love? Blazing, reason-obliterating emotions that materialized as selfless actions within a prison of mirrors. Memories…possibilities…
Even sitting there in the dark chill of night next to a rotting corpse, Sasuke's mind filled with sunshine and peace.
What did he want from his friend? They were just vague concepts to him, but if he'd had to put names to them, they would be 'home,' 'family,' 'belonging.' And 'lover?' Another vague concept, but foulmouthed Sound shinobi and the occasional accidental wrong turn down a secluded hallway, indeed once or twice his own deliberate wrong turn down a secluded hallway, had given him the general mechanics, if not the heart of such a concept.
Would Naruto want something like that? The odds didn't seem very good; observation told him that, biologically speaking, his preference was not the norm. Still, there had always been…something…between them.
As morning had come that day three seasons ago, he realized that he didn't care. There was only one person on the face of the earth that cared about him and he'd take whatever that person would give him. He wanted to go home.
He'd find a new purpose. Put his body and mind to work for a worthier goal, become part of a new community, using his skills protecting and supporting families and comrades, joining his hands with others, shopkeepers, mothers, teachers to make a village, a home.
Warmth had surrounded him and stayed with him through the long walk to Konoha, cooling only slightly throughout his first week back and the uncertainties that came with interrogations and decisions about his status.
Naruto had not been there. Hokage-sama had taken pity on him and informed him that Naruto was on a mission, that Naruto was gone on missions a lot. He had a sense that she'd thought she'd said too much when she let slip that maybe Naruto would choose to stay home more now that Sasuke…
Then the warmth that had sustained Sasuke had receded completely and chill invaded his very bones the minute he'd stepped through the gates of his childhood home.
It had taken only one day and one night before Sasuke had returned to the tower and begged to be assigned to a team. Acknowledging that he was a still a genin, he agreed to take anything she'd be willing to give. The next day, he'd left Konoha once again as part of Nara Shikamaru's three man cell.
When he got back, he learned that he'd missed Naruto. The blond had come and gone again. This continued for a while until Sasuke found himself with a two week rotation of downtime. It was the beginning of the end.
Christ, he hated every inch of this property that used to be his home. Anxiety gripped him, his heart raced and his stomach quivered every time he turned a corner or opened a door. He didn't believe in ghosts but he did think that he was maybe losing his fucking mind.
He was having nightmares, hallucinations and he suspected, blackouts; stretches of time that were just blank.
But the worst part was Naruto. The blond had come back from a mission and had left again without coming to see him.
That's when the other dreams had started. Dreams of affection, of love. Dreams of sleeping wrapped in Naruto's arms. Dreams of pleasure. As these dreams invaded his waking thoughts, he yearned for a connection that never came.
It was five months before he actually came face to face with Naruto. He'd been on guard duty at the gates when Naruto trudged up, filthy and exhausted. Sasuke'd been surprised when Naruto had come right up to him and looked him in the eyes. He seemed to be searching for answers.
Hurt welled in Sasuke and he'd snapped. "What the fuck are you looking at?"
Naruto's expression had closed off but he still just stood there.
"How are you?" Naruto had finally asked.
"What the fuck do you care?"
"Sasuke…"
"Five months. Five fucking months you've been avoiding me." Sasuke was ashamed of the needy emotions surging through his chest, pushing up his throat, threatening to erupt as tears.
"Sasuke…"
"What, loser?"
Naruto had opened and closed his mouth a couple of times then just clenched his jaw and pressed his lips into a tight line.
"Stay away from me," Sasuke bit out irrationally, his heart screaming for just the opposite. "I don't want or need anything from you."
Naruto had turned and left.
But things had continued to deteriorate even further.
Sasuke was seeing Naruto everywhere. Even when he knew the idiot was gone on missions. His image was lurking around corners of his property and Sasuke was still dreaming of the blond.
Sasuke was coming to realize that the property was a problem in his life and when he was not on missions, he began spending as little time there as possible. For the last months he was finding himself at the bar every evening. It was always full of people and more importantly, his blond was always there as well.
Sitting in the same room as Naruto, who was also clearly unhappy, night after night Sasuke took the time to think. It occurred to him that he'd been wrong. After all he'd been the one to leave, trying to break his bond with Naruto by pain of Chidori. He recalled the sickening feel of cool air brushing blood slicked knuckles as they stuck out Naruto's back. Sasuke knew that he was the one who needed to do some groveling.
He'd been pondering this for a couple of days when everything changed again.
Finding trouble concentrating, he'd been nursing his drink feeling kind of sick, his stomach churning as his drink started to smell like blood, when out of nowhere, Naruto had yanked him out of his seat and smacked him across the face. He'd been fighting a debilitating headache, his ears ringing and his skin hurting and so Naruto had managed to hit him twice more before he got his bearings.
They'd fought, destroying nearly every piece of furniture in the bar, until Naruto was finally in an unmoving sprawl across an overturned table.
This scenario had played out a dozen times since then, Naruto attacking him out of the blue and Sasuke experiencing an otherworldly rage, beating the blond to a pulp.
It was clear; Naruto hated him. This village hated him. Being spat upon was not a completely uncommon occurrence the last weeks.
He had no one. No home. No dreams. No future worth thinking about. Where could he go at this point? What could he do?
As he sat in his bathroom and, even now, felt the presence of the boy he'd loved and wronged and loved and wronged again, he wished he had the courage to just end it all.
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Dark, Light and the Shadows Between (complete)