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I Do, I Don't: A Shotgun Wedding	By : kaesaku Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 1253 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Prologue: The Proposal
- 2-Chapter 1: The Fiancé
- 1
- 2
kaesaku: This
fic was made partly because I was a little tired of all those pervy,
pedophillic, Sasuke-loving Orochimaru fics. Let's give the guy some
slack. I apologize if my writing style's a bit confusing. Didn't
want to write it in a conventional, chronological order, hence, the
presence of the chop-chop effect. I promise, no questions will be
left unanswered on the succeeding chapters. Just bear with me.
Yoroshiku!

Thanks to all the anonymous reviewers from ff.net. I wish aff has
that review reply thingy so I can thank all those who reviewed
personally. Anyhoo, a big thanks to all of you!

Warnings: yaoi,
NaruSasuNaru, weird familial relations. Unbeta-ed. My beta's a bit
busy with school. I haven't heard from her for a while after I sent
her my next installment for the fic The Boy Next Door. (Hope
everything's okay with your studies!)

Standard
disclaimers apply.

Chapter 1: The Fiancé

In Naruto's
eighteen years of existence, he could proudly (or embarrassingly) say
that he only got screwed over three times.

Three, official,
major screw-overs that made a great impact to his life.

At four, his older
brother, amidst the sunshine-y smiles and caring looks, had managed
to brainwash him in believing that he wasn't a real son, but rather a
stray boy picked up by their now-estranged father in a fox den while
on a hunting expedition. He cried nonstop for two days.

At eight, his
mother lost in a bet against that snake-uncle of his which ended with
him being dressed in a frilly, girly dress while parading the
village. He asked his mother why the hell he got involved in the bet
in the first place. His mother punched him in the stomach. He never
asked again.

At fifteen, he
found out that one of his childhood friends, who incidentally was
also his ex-crush, started dating their former junior high homeroom
adviser. She was also fifteen back then while their adviser...
twenty-four. He wondered why her parents never pressed child
molestation charges.

Naruto firmly
believed that bad luck came in three's. Which was why he was quite
taken aback when the fourth screw-over came in his life. He was
shocked, to say the least. Although after knowing who won the major
role for his fourth screw-over, his surprise wore off, seeing that
it's the same person who run all the other insignificant screw-overs
that didn't make it to the countdown. Actually, now that he thought
about it, if he added up all those minor screw-overs in the past made
by that same person, Naruto was sure that he'd be making a different
countdown. It would be the 'Top Ten Ways Naruto Uzumaki Got Screwed
Over by the Bastard' or something.

Going back, Naruto
faintly thought that since his bad-luck-comes-in-three's belief had
been completely shattered because of the sudden turn of events, he
would now place his fate in the hands of the East-Asian-horror-movies
doctrine which was bad-luck-in-the-number-four. The number four was
the symbol of death, or so they said. And in the fourth screw-over
that happened to his life, Naruto found his death.

At eighteen, he
got forced to marry Sasuke Uchiha.

If that wasn't
death, he didn't want to know what else it could be.

- o -

In Sasuke's
eighteen years of existence, he could proudly say that he was one
lucky boy. But lucky seemed like an unreliable term, so he'd rather
use fortunate.

He had been
fortunate with his looks, his family, his education, and his wealth.
Despite all of that, he only considered three major events in his
life that really got him feeling fortunate.

At eight, his
older, so-called genius brother snapped and destroyed the pedestal
their family placed him on. All the attention was diverted to him
instantly and he became the new family favorite. He gloated about it
for days. No, weeks. Err, months? Oh, years. He never stopped
gloating.

At twelve, his
father (not daddy) decided to take him to Europe to “hone his
skills and broaden his horizons”. The trip was originally for
his brother and he couldn't help but notice why two out of three of
his major, fortunate moments involved him getting one up from his
brother. Must be from all the stress/trauma he got when they were
kids. Oh, well.

At fifteen, he
found out that his annoying childhood friend slash ex-stalker was
going out with their former junior high homeroom adviser. One
psychotic, stalking fan-girl down, ten thousand to go.

Sasuke firmly
believed that his being fortunate would not end with the third one.
He was pushing for ten, actually, but of course, in order to do that,
he had to make the fourth one come true first.

And believe it, he
had been trying. He had been trying for this fourth fortunate moment
to come true ever since the first one happened. Who cared if he was
eight then, it was the effort that counted! It had always ended with
a loud “No!”, though, with a kick or two and with him
always winning the fight, but with the other party still stubbornly
refusing. It had always been like that on the years that followed.
But Sasuke stopped pursuing the fourth fortunate moment when he
turned twelve, thinking that it was most likely some childhood thing
that he'd get over with. Hence, the entrance of fortunate moment
number two. It wasn't until three years later that he admitted to
himself that he would never get over it and so, decided to come back
home and continue where he left off. Add the happening of the third
fortunate moment, which was another way of saying he lost a stalker
who had the potential to become a rival, and Sasuke was more
determined than ever.

At eighteen, he
had finally found a way to
get married to Naruto Uzumaki.

It seemed like luck, err, fortune, was on his side.

- o -

“Well, well, well... if it isn't my soon-to-be-husband.”

Naruto swore he saw red. Husband! Trust the bastard to turn
an innocent word to something evil-sounding.

“You... you... you..!” he went on, still incoherent, as
he pointed an accusing finger to the lone occupant of the room who
merely raised an eyebrow at him.

“What?” the other boy prodded. “Or have you
finally morphed to your true form? The 100% Stupid Naruto Uzumaki?”

Naruto growled and was tempted to lunge towards the raven-haired boy
and rip his throat out if it weren't for said boy's parents residing
a few doors away.

“Take that back!”

The owner of the room smirked and crossed his arms. “Which
one? The husband or the 100% stupid?”

“Aaargh!” the other boy yelled and pulled his blonde hair
frustratingly. “Sasuke, you jerk! This is not funny!”

And the black eyebrow was back up. “Who said I was joking?”

Naruto stomped furiously to Sasuke's direction. His hand almost
grabbed the other boy's collar. He caught it in time, remembering
something about Jiraiya's promise of broken limbs and bread knives.
He fisted it on his side instead.

Sasuke, on the other hand, didn't even flinch. He faced Naruto
head-on without as much as a blink when the tanned face invaded his
personal space.

“You,” Naruto started, keeping his voice in check, “...go
to your parents' room and take back all the lies you said.”

Sasuke snorted and turned away from him. He walked towards his bed
and flopped gracefully on it.

“Now, why would I do that?”

Naruto looked like he wanted to tear out more hair. This time, it
wouldn't be blonde.

“Because-!” the blonde answered loudly. “I don't
know about you, but your sick sense of humor is doing damage not only
to me, but to your parents as well!” He pointed at the door.
“You should've seen their faces when they thought that we...
that we, uh... you know...” Naruto trailed off losing some of
his newfound coherence. He shook his head to clear it a bit.

“My point is,” he continued a tad bit louder, “...is
that you go now and tell them that none of this is true, and that
it's just a stupid joke, before they announce to the world that
you're having my fictional babies!”

Sasuke gave him a deadpanned look. “Do I have to repeat
myself, Naruto? I told you, I wasn't joking.”

Naruto hated it whenever Sasuke got stubborn like this. He would
look all serious (not that he remembered a time when Sasuke didn't
look serious) and have that dismissing air of superiority surrounding
him.

“Look, I will even go with you when you tell them,”
Naruto insisted with a hint of desperation. “I promise I will
laugh hard when you drop the bomb. We can even make them believe
that it's a joint joke, how about that?”

“That sounds good, telling them together,” Sasuke
answered. “Except, we'll be leaving the joke part.”

“Whyyy?!” Naruto whined. “Bastard, if you don't
take it back now, they will really go thru with it! Do you really
wanna get married to me?”

Sasuke's only reply was a look. Naruto hated that look. He
hated that he couldn't tell whether it was a look that said 'yes' or
'no'. Not that he'd care about Sasuke's answer, anyway. It was a
rhetorical question, dammit!

He closed his eyes and lifted his arms, palms facing away from him,
and took a deep breath. He read somewhere that this usually helped a
person to find his zen moment.

He opened blue eyes and regarded Sasuke seriously. “Sasuke,
it's not yet too late. We can go there and tell them-”

“What's done is done, Naruto,” the other boy interrupted.
“We're going to get married, whether you like it or not.”

“Which brings us back to the ultimate question of the night.”
Naruto answered back, his voice laced with frustrated annoyance,
“Why?”

And cue Sasuke with the look.

“I mean, really, bastard, why would you wanna get married to
me?” He paced the room anxiously. “i mean, c'mon!
You're rich, you're smart, and as much as it pains me to say,
intelligent.” He stopped pacing and faced Sasuke. “Not
to feed your ego, but let's face it, you're one of the best-looking
guys in this town. You can get ANYONE you want! Why me?!”

It took a lot of effort on Naruto's part to spout out all those
positive things about Sasuke, and yet, the other boy seemed
unimpressed. Still had that stupid, impassive look on. Still had
that dismissing air of superiority,

Slowly, realization dawned on the blonde as part of his last
statement echoed on his mind. You can have anyone you want.
Anyone. Including himself.

Before he could stop himself, a dry, humorless laugh came out from
his mouth. Slight confusion was evident on the raven-haired boy's
face as he furrowed his eyebrows.

“This is about that night, isn't it?” Naruto
asked. He shook his head in disbelief. “I can't believe you'd
go this far just to prove a point! What's next? Buy a country?”

Sasuke looked like he wanted to say something. But he opted to keep
quiet and let Naruto finish his piece.

“You really are a certified asshole!”

If Sasuke was hurt by that particular statement, it didn't show.

That night
was one of those rare nights where Naruto actually considered Sasuke
as a friend. They hanged out like normal friends. Drinking, joking,
laughing, sometimes insulting. They talked about their friends,
their school, their plans for the future. And since Naruto was
encouraged by Sasuke's amiable demeanor that night, he told him about
his dream. About how he's planning to go abroad to follow in his
brother's footsteps. They both knew that what Naruto's brother
achieved was not an easy feat. He told Sasuke that he has prepared
himself for it, that he would be doing his best and a lot more.
Sasuke rewarded him with the same look that he gave him earlier. And
when the young Uchiha boy opened his mouth, Naruto knew that the
magic of friendship that night was lost.

You're never
going to make it because you're not good enough was
what Sasuke said.

Naruto had never felt so hurt, probably because he thought Sasuke, of
all people, would tell him that he could do it. After all, as much
as he hated to admit it, Sasuke was and would always be his first
best friend. He felt so stupid. And so, he ignored all the other
things that came out of Sasuke's mouth that night, like how Naruto
should be thankful that the Uchiha family took care of his education
or how Naruto shouldn't delude himself into believing that he could
achieve something that big or how Naruto shouldn't forget that Sasuke
Uchiha would always be far superior than him.

Naruto didn't talk back, didn't fight back, because as much as he
wanted to, he knew, at some point, Sasuke was right.

That was before he found himself in this current predicament. He
couldn't believe Sasuke's audacity to go to great lengths just to
prove a point.

“You like doing this, huh? Dangling my life before my eyes,
like it's some kind of toy that you can toss away...” Naruto
fisted his hand again. “I am truly grateful for what you're
family has done for me. And I will forever be. But this, you're
pushing it too far, Uchiha!”

Finally, Sasuke spoke up. “If you think that this is what it's
about, then you shouldn't wonder why I call you dead-last, Uzumaki.”

“Don't call me that!”

Naruto didn't stop himself this time from fisting Sasuke's collar.
He lifted the other boy from the bed.

“If you think that you'd get married to me and have me at your
beck-and-call like some personal slave, you're mistake,” the
blonde said in a low voice.

“Personal slave? That's not such a bad idea,” the
raven-haired boy haughtily said despite being held by the other boy.

Naruto couldn't help but growl angrily at Sasuke's smug remark. He
released his grip on the other boy's shirt and moved towards the
door.

“We are NOT getting married. I will make sure of that.
Believe it!”

And then a loud bang was heard.

- o -

Do you really
wanna get married to me?

Sasuke sighed. Really, the idiot shouldn't wonder why he was called
dead-last.

Why me?

Why?

If he answered that question, Sasuke was sure they would be up until
the morning.

The raven-haired boy walked towards the window and looked down. He
saw a glimpse of blonde moving farther away from the house.

He remembered that night quite vividly. They were together,
just the two of them, both of them seemingly happy and content with
each other's company. They were talking with each other, smiling
with each other, laughing with each other... If it were up to him,
Sasuke would've frozen that moment.

Then Naruto had to tell him about that stupid dream of his. Of his
plans to go abroad and work in the same company as his older brother.
What Naruto's brother did was no joke. Everyone knew that. But
Sasuke was sure that Naruto, with his strong sense of determination,
would achieve that as well. It scared him that Naruto would soon
leave this place, leave him, and be successful halfway across the
world. As Naruto went on about how he was going to make his dream
come true, Sasuke felt the other boy slowly slipping away.

Naruto, the eight-year-old crybaby who stood beside him and bravely
told Sasuke's father that he would be responsible for Sasuke's
sprained ankle which he got from climbing their elementary school's
jungle gym.

Naruto, the twelve-year-old dead-last of the class who broke his own
eraser in half when Sasuke forgot his while they took their junior
high entrance examination.

Naruto, the fifteen-year-old dim-witted idiot who called him while he
was in Europe to convince him that it was safe to return to
Konoha since his number one stalked had already found love in the
form of their former teacher.

And so when Naruto turned to him with those big, blue eyes full of
hopeful dreams, searching for some kind of acknowledgment from his
narrowed, black ones, he made up his mind. He wasn't going to let
Naruto go.

He told Naruto the one thing the other boy shouldn't have to hear.
Didn't deserve to hear.

You're never
going to make it because you're not good enough.

A big, fat lie.

When he saw Naruto's crushed look, he felt his heart crush to pieces
as well. He wanted so bad to take it back. Yet he didn't. Because
he figured, a sad Naruto beside him was better than a happy Naruto
who was nowhere found.

Or so he thought.

- o -

Naruto stomped angrily to the direction of his house. He was
furious, so furious in fact that he was sure he needed to punch
something before he could go to sleep. He kicked a discarded soda
can in the middle of the road and it hit the lamp across him.
Unfortunately, it bounced back to his forehead.

“Goddammit!”

He rubbed the injured forehead while he struggled to open the front
door. He finally opened it and once inside, kicked the door shut.
Hard. The blonde muttered a string of curses involving dark-haired,
conniving bastards as he maneuvered through the yet-to-be-lit house.
Once he turned on the lights, he noticed an open bottle of sake and
one small glass on the table.

Naruto's blue eyes widened, knowing all too well who those things
belonged to. He swallowed nervously as he turned slowly, like a kid
who was scared to face the monster behind him. And what a monster
she was, with her inhuman strength and inhuman... breasts.
Naruto cowered in fear as he now found himself face-to-face with the
monster.

“How is it possible that the last one to know that you're
getting married is your mother?”

“Old hag,” he whispered in fear.

The monster behind him was also known as his mother.

-
tbc -
- 1
- 2
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I Do, I Don't: A Shotgun Wedding