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Rehab to the Right Path	By : kocoum Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 930 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
An: hey there, God loves ya. Ha. Mkay so I know that some people think this story is similar or based of some movie or something, but truuusst me it’s not. Hm. The only thing I can think right now, is that if there are other stories like this, I think they’re gonna have similar beginnings… like, doy. but yeah. I’m not biting off of other stories, so wham bam, enjoy.

Love prevails-tebayo.

Chapter 2

“Uzumaki Naruto does not ‘sword fight’. Uzumaki Naruto is not a queer, not a fagbag, not at all interested in yaoi or girly things. Uzumaki Naruto is full of so much manliness, he could prance around in a neon pink thong and make it seem it was only natural for men to parade around in neon butt flosses. Uzumaki Naruto--”

“Shut up. If you weren’t gay, you wouldn’t be here.”

The blonde glared at the brunette guiding him to his dorm room.

“It’s a big mistake. I mean, look at me dude. Do I look gay?” Naruto questioned, his fingers tightening around the straps of his luggage.

“Do I?” The boy countered.

Naruto paused and looked the boy up and down. Come to think of it, the boy looked like any other teen. His short shaggy brown hair framed his face perfectly and made him look attractive, and the red tattoos or markings on his face gave him an edge as well. Not saying that Naruto thought the boy was attractive, he just thought that the boy was not unfortunately ugly. Yes, because Uzumaki Naruto was super manly. The boy frowned at the navy blue formal uniform the other boy was wearing. Navy blue slacks, navy blue blazer with a white dress shirt under, and of course, couldn’t forget about the black tie with the gold cross right smack-dab in the middle. Nothing screamed queer about him.

“Exactly. I’m Inuzuka Kiba by the way. You’ll be sharing a room with someone else. There will be no inappropriate behavior or Shizune and Kabuto will have your balls pickled in a jar and handed back to you wrapped up with a bow on top.”

“And by inappropriate behavior?”

The brunette sent the boy a glare.

“No hand-jobs, no blowjobs, no rim-jobs, no anal penetra--”

“That’s great! I’ll get dressed right now, so thanks a bunch.”

“After you’ve gotten into uniform, we’ll be downstairs in the lobby for our group session.” The boy opened the door and led the blonde into the small room.

Naruto frowned. The room looked like it belonged in an insane asylum. Everything was white, pure. White walls, white furniture, white bed-sheets, white floor. There was a small window between the two beds.

“Thanks.” Naruto muttered. “Why are you here, anyways? You don’t seem… well, you know.”

“To find God.” The boy gave a wolfish grin. When the blonde continued to stare, the boy sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Honestly, I don’t know either. I began to have feelings for my neighbor. And well, I got scared. So, I came here.”

The tanned boy scratched a scarred cheek and frowned.

“You know, you can have emotional feelings for a guy…”

The brunette raised a dark eyebrow and snorted.

"They were far from emotional. The funny thing is my neighbor was sent here, too.”

Naruto raised a brow.

“Anyway, I’ll see you later.” The brunette shut the door after he left, leaving Naruto in the nearly blinding white room by himself.

‘I’m not gay. I’m manly. I think of boobies and lesbians. Lesbians are hot. Having a threesome is hot. Yes. Boobies.’

The blonde pursed his lip forward and sighed.

He still had no idea what drove him to such lengths as to agreeing to actually live here for a long period of time to cure his non-existent sexual orientation disorder. He didn’t need to find God, he didn’t need people telling him he had a problem. Besides, to him, homosexuality was not something he always thought of as a problem, it wasn’t something big to him at all.

Not only was he forced to agree to finding this righteous path, he had no idea how that gay porn got on his computer or why his relatives were looking through it. He was framed. That was the only possibility he could think of. And he knew who the culprit was.

Konohamaru. That sly bastard. For an eight year old, he knew just what to do to make someone’s life miserable. He was a conniving, heartless boy, and Naruto’s cousin. For sure, miles and miles away, the boy was laughing at his misfortune and the position he was now in. At first, the boy idolized the blonde. And being the infamous prankster at a young age, Naruto definitely had a huge influence on his younger cousin.

Naruto’s eye twitched.

He was going to kill him. He was somehow going to escape this God-loving facility that was bent on brainwashing kids to believe and practice the stereotypical gender roles, somehow get back to Konoha, which was approximately 108.71 miles away, and kill that little shit.

The loud slam by the doorway suddenly interrupted his silent rampage and the blonde jumped slightly, whipping his attention to who he assumed was his roommate.

His jaw dropped.

Praise Jesus. Thank the Lord and every entity in the universe.

Naruto continued to oogle the girl that entered the room. He stared in fascination, took in her ethereal beauty, her silky, dark, long hair, her pale skin, her chestnut eyes, her cute pouty lips and he suddenly felt like he really had made the right decision to come to this ‘sanctuary’. Her petite slender body moved gracefully towards him and she extended a delicate hand out.

“Hey, so you’re my roommate.” Her voice sounded like angels singing.

The blonde stared at the feminine hand, and after a few seconds, he finally remembered that in most cases, the other person was supposed to take that hand and give it a good, firm shake.

“Oh, yeah. Uzumaki Naruto.” The boy grinned.

Sharing a room with the opposite sex was a brilliant rule to enforce. Can’t have boys that like boys in the same room, right?

The girl giggled and Naruto blushed when he realized he had been shaking her hand longer than necessary.

She wore a slightly loose shirt and cargo pants that made her seem small. For a flat-chested girl, she was really, really pretty.

“I just got here, and I’m assuming you’re just as new as I am…” The brunette gave him another sweet smile and his heart melted.

“Yeah… uh, so… I’m just wondering, but are you here to find God or like… you know, just for some spiritual healing?” The blonde questioned, trying not to quickly jump into conclusion about her situation. Especially after meeting Kiba.

The girl raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes to the side thoughtfully.

“I guess. I mean, that’s what we’re all here for, right? Finding God and becoming a heterosexual, so that society can accept a big fat lie you’ve created and to hide behind? Yeah, pretty much.”

Naruto frowned. The urge to know why she was here was stronger than rabbit urine fresh on a carpet.

Please let it be some kumbaya shit she’s looking for.

“So… are you Bi-curious or lesbian?”

The girl gave him a strange look and laughed, which only made Naruto feel tingly and warm inside.

“Oh heavens, no, neither one is correct. I really don’t blame you for thinking that. People often make the same mistake.”

The blonde sighed in relief.

“I’m gay, and I love boys. The name’s Shiro Haku, by the way.”

The pregnant silence that followed after that last statement gave the needed amount of time for the blue eyed teen to recover. Actually, maybe a little more silence was needed.

After at least thirty more seconds, Naruto opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again.

“You’re… You’re a…”

The brunette gave another dazzling smile.

“A male, Naruto-kun.”

--------------------------

“I want to go home, right now.”

“Naruto, I thought we went over this.”

“You don’t understand, Tsunade-baba This is wrong! I love girls! Please let me come home! What does Jiraiya have to say about this? Did you even consult dad? He may be away, but that doesn’t mean he gave you every right to do this to me!”

“Of course we informed your father. And Jiraiya thinks it’ll be a wonderful experience.”

“That’s right, it’ll teach you how important porn is.” The other voice chirped up from the other line.

“You shut up, you dirty pervert! What did father say?”

Naruto heard a distinct chuckle. Knowing them, they probably left out the part where they sent him to a Christian rehab center for converting homosexuals.

“He said he hopes you find God. Oh look at the time, we’re going to be awfully late for church, bye deary, have oodles of fun!” The woman gushed out quickly before hanging up.

Naruto glared at the phone in his hand. He glared so hard, he was sure that at any moment, laser beams would shoot out and he’d rip his shirt open to reveal a skin-tight blue suit with an S etched right in the middle of his chest.

Super-screwed at your service.

Yup.

“Naruto, it’s time for your first session. Please hurry.” Shizune called out.

The tanned blonde took a deep breath, counted to ten and tried to remember the happiest moments of his life. And for some reason, nothing came up. All he could think about was how his life was going to suck for the next three months. Three months of praising God, talking about God, practically marrying God, and can’t forget trying to fix the homo that he sure as hell wasn’t.

He faintly heard Shizune’s chatter about rules and things he obviously didn’t care about as he followed her to the lobby.

Then, in a glorious moment, he had a thought. And when Uzumaki had a thought, it was either really, really good, or just straight up stupid. The kind of stupid where no one in their right mind, or not, would even think about.

He had to take this as some sort of blessing in disguise. He was sent here for a reason only he, Uzumaki Naruto, could think of.

He grinned.

He, Uzumaki Naruto, the notorious prankster, would single handedly bring down the Christian Rehab center, show every individual that this facility was full of bull-shit, free the lesbians and gays from this insanity, and not to mention have another story to tell when he got back to his own high-school life. To make it even better, he would hop on a lesbian orgy offered to him as a way of thanks. Or maybe that was just too much.

He paused in his thoughts and frowned.

“I guess. I mean, that’s what we’re all here for, right? Finding God and becoming a heterosexual, so that society can accept a big fat lie you’ve created and to hide behind? Yeah, pretty much.”

It was wrong. This facility was wrong, and he felt like it wasn’t a place where teens should be sent to.

He sighed again.

“Naruto! Are you listening?” the woman’s voice cut through his ramblings and he dumbly nodded.

“After this session, you get half an hour of free time or recreational activities. So, do your best, and I’m sure you’ll get along with the others.” She gave that smile that made Naruto’s frown only deepen. That smile was damn suspicious.

Grabbing the doorknob and pulling the ‘Door of Doom’, he entered as quietly as he could, which was pointless because the moment he opened that door, he was suddenly the center of attention. There were three long tables, with teens seated behind them, lined up in an upside down U shape with a single chair, which was occupied by a man with a brown spiky ponytail, in the middle of the opening.

“You’re late. I assume you’re Uzumaki Naruto?”

The blonde stared at the man with the big scar over his nose and grinned sheepishly.

“Yeah, sorry. I was having this heated conversation with God--”

“Take a seat. You’ll address me as Iruka-sensei, and I’m here to help all of you to the right path.” The man raised a brow when the blonde boy heaved a sigh and sluggishly headed towards an empty seat.

Naruto looked around, glancing at all the young faces surrounding him. Fortunately, he was sitting next to the people he was already acquainted with. Kiba slouched in his chair and raised a brow in greeting. Haku gave him a smile that not only warmed him, but also somehow made him feel… strange, but not in the homophobic way. More like ‘I thought he was a girl, and knowing he’s a boy, I still feel all tingly-giddy’ strange.

Yeah, three months seemed longer than it really was.

Naruto counted twelve boys and only six girls. Most of them looked and acted just like any ‘normal’ teenager. He suddenly got the feeling that someone was trying to burn a hole at the side of his head and he directed his attention to whomever it was staring at him.

Cold onyx eyes met with baby blues and all he could do was stare back, as if those eyes were huge black holes sucking him into another portal or dimension. Then they blinked and directed their sucking powers elsewhere, allowing the blonde to remain where he was, even if he wished real black holes would swallow him and spit him anywhere, far, far away from here.

Naruto scowled at the boy, noticing how pale he was and how his black hair, black eyes and black clothes only made him look more like a ghost.

The boy’s gaze landed on him again, and the tanned boy bristled when the boy shot him a smirk.

“Now all of you have been given a bible. Take those out and I want you to turn to Jeremiah 51:1-19. We will read this aloud and reflect on it.” Iruka instructed.

The blue eyed teen slumped forward, plopping the thick book in front of him and flipping through the thin pages.

God, if you’re listening to me… please, somehow, just somehow, let me get some sort of contagious illness that’ll have me outta here.

Another idea popped up.

He was going to do the unthinkable.

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TBC.
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Rehab to the Right Path