Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Colourless Vanity	By : Cepheus Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1743 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Approach
- 2-Offer
- 3-Understand
- 4-Departure
- 5-Meeting
- 6-Truth
- 7-Control
- 8-Burning
- 9-Observing
- 10-Forming
- 11-Forcing
- 12-Portraying
- 13-Organizing
- 14-Honing
- 15-Entering
- 16-Bruising
- 17-Admitting
- 1
- 2
- 3
Edited: 04/09/2014
Cepheus: There we go, another chapter is out!
Thank you reviewers!
                                                                     …–…–…–…–…–…–…
“Talking”
‘Thinking’
–Flashbacks, memories, dreams–
                                                                     …–…–…–…–…–…–…
                                                                     Colourless Vanity
                                                                     Chapter 02: Offer
As he resurfaced from unconsciousness, Naruto was aware at first only of the strong, nauseating smell of antiseptic.
It was so pungent that he wrinkled his nose, ripped away from sleep, and tried to unconsciously pull away from it, and the movement hurt.
He blinked a few times, waiting for his blurry sight to focus on something, and he realised only after a while that he was facing a blank ceiling; the smell was still overpowering his senses, and he fought down the urge to retch. Naruto forced himself to take deep breathes, and after a while he was able to relax and ignore both the pain in his body and the smell.
The room he was into had dim lights, which he was grateful for since his eyes hurt a bit.
At the same time, he became aware of the silence surrounding him, another good thing –his head was already hurting as it was, and noise would only make it worse.
By the smell alone, his brain finally put one and one together –he was probably in Konoha’s hospital, and by the way his body hurt with even the slightest movement, he could understand why he would be there.
The sheets under his back were anything but soft, though, and there was something under his lower back that was hard against his ribs, making him wince, so he decided to stop moving altogether and just wait for the pain to pass.
Hesitantly turning his head to the left, he noticed he was inches away from the endless white that was the wall, so he turned to the right instead; checking the rest of the room he was in, he cringed.
There was another bed on the other side of the room, and inside it there was an equally heavily bandaged Sasuke, sleeping quietly.
The sight managed to relieve him, and yet also made his chest hurt. His… friend was safe and sound, but he was back only because Naruto had forced him to, through willpower and sheer determination, and he could see the results from his bed. Both of them were hurt.
Thinking back at that moment in the Valley of End when they had faced each other, ready to go all the way, Naruto had to admit he had felt despair. He had truly believed his words would not reach Sasuke –that he was far too gone to see reason.
He had been wrong. Sasuke had listened to him.
In what Naruto could only describe as a miracle, he had gotten through Sasuke’s thick head and got him to listen. He thanked every Kami there was for this little miracle. Sasuke had accepted to come back. He would not leave again. Naruto had offered him a valid view thanks to his fists and will, and he guessed that was the best that he could do.
Things were not completely solved, far from that, but… they were going to be ok, at least for now.
The door creaked open, attracting Naruto’s attention from the sleeping figure of his friend.
A nurse stepped into his room, glancing his way only for a second before hurrying to Sasuke’s bed to fuss around him for a little bit. She added a few flowers to the vase next to the bed, then rearranged his sheets without waking him, silent and competent.
Naruto waited, not expecting her to offer any sort of assistance especially now that he was awake, but he did not close his eyes, despite knowing what was going to happen. She looked at him only when there was nothing else to do for Sasuke, and even then it was with clear hesitation.
She did not ask if he needed anything –water, a pillow– and rather than full-on hatred she was looking disgusted, maybe afraid of him, which was somewhat stupid since he was stuck in a bed wrapped up like a mummy, but Naruto could not claim to understand what went through those adults’ minds.
‘It’s the eyes,’ he idly thought, looking away. Their eyes were always what got to him the most. After so many years, he had grown apt to ignoring words of hate and whispered insults behind his back, but their eyes never hid their dislike. It was like what they couldn’t voice was thrown to his face simply by looking at him.
Naruto had learned that they were just ignorant. He was a vessel, not the demon, but how could they know? If even other shinobi mistakenly thought of him as the demon, or as a controlled puppet in the hands of Kyuubi no Kitsune, how could civilians know better?
That was why he endured even the glares. There was no point, not until he could find a way to let them all know who he was, and what he could do. and there were already people who cared for him and showed that, and having that meant he did not care what a stupid nurse thought.
He was not a monster, and yes, he wanted the villagers to stop glaring at him with hatred, but… they would see it, if they were given enough time. He would show them, and they would finally see him for who he was.
Until them, he could tolerate the hatred, because he had people who cared already.
Ignoring the nurse’s hesitance, he looked at Sasuke once again. Their fight had been more devastating than he’d ever thought possible, and they had both done their worse, so to speak. Naruto had been this close to dying, but for once things had gone the way they should have. Sasuke was back. It was perfectly justified, even if they had to stick to being in bed for a while.
Unfortunately that also meant Naruto had to accept other truths. He had called forth a power that was not his own in order to reach his friend, and that…
That had been a powerful wakeup call. He was not a superhero. He was just a human, who was willing to cross paths with a demon if it served him well. He was not above using underhanded means, exactly like Sasuke, even if it was for what he considered the greater good, and that… that made him feel weak.
Naruto had spent most of his life creating childish delusions about himself, his past, the reasons why he was hated. It was a way like any other not to lose himself to despair, staying awake at night, cuddled in his bed, thinking up stories about who his parents were, why they were gone, why they had given him to the Fourth to seal the beast inside him.
If they were in the afterlife, regretful for their actions.
He had clung to the hope that this was happening to him because he was special, and that one day he would show it to everyone else.
Naruto had a great determination, and an even greater will, but this fight with Sasuke had shown him he was not as strong as he’d believed himself to be.
He had fought hard against Sasuke, but that hadn’t been a true victory –they had been tied up to the very end, and Sasuke had agreed to come back not because Naruto had won over him, but because he had managed to reach out and touch Sasuke’s heart.
He wasn’t as superior as he believed himself to be. If he wanted to show the village his worth, he needed to gain that strength. He needed to find it with his own hands first.
Naruto did not speak as the nurse finally advanced towards him, her eyes cool; it was her duty as a nurse to check up on him, so she could not deny him the same basic attentions as her other patients. She quickly checked his stats, made a show of fluffing up his pillow, then she glanced down at him.
“Since you seem to be awake, I will have to warn you,” she stated, voice steely. He looked at her. “I do not want to hear any sort of ruckus inside the room that could potentially disturb Uchiha-san. He needs rest, obviously, and while our Hokage seems to hold you in high regards, that is not a feeling shared by people more sensible to your treacherous deceits”.
Naruto rolled his eyes, snorting at her words; yes, sure, he was deceiving the Hokage, just like he was the one who had ‘corrupted their poor Sasuke-kun’. He could just hear the nurses chide him for breathing, and part of him wished he was feeling better, so that he could create some of this ‘ruckus’ they seemed to be so afraid of. That would show them.
He wanted to chuckle, but he didn’t want to give the woman any leeway, so he refrained.
The nurse seemed to notice how her words had not affected Naruto at all, because she huffed slightly. “It will be this lack of respect for your betters that will show you your place”.
Naruto had the perfect comeback on his lips, something along the lines of ‘yeah, so I’ll be sure to come here when I’m Hokage, just so you can congratulate me on what my place is’, but someone else spoke up before he could.
“I would suggest to mind your words. A disciplinary hearing would not benefit you, and receiving a note on your bad temper might prevent you from attaining that pay rise you’ve been hoping for”.
The sudden intromission of a foreign voice jolted both the nurse and Naruto out of their staring.
The injured teen did not know who had spoken up, but given his position and how he had a hard time even shifting, he could not sit up to see the newcomer, who was standing behind the Nurse.
Spluttering in embarrassment, the nurse spun around, moving away from Naruto’s line of sight and allowing him to see the man standing there; he blinked in surprise, eyes growing wide as he noticed the mask covering the man’s face.
This guy was one of the village’s ANBU guards, but Naruto was not fooled by his casual stance; he could feel a barely restrained aura of quiet disapproval surrounding him, and he felt an edge of wariness coil inside his stomach.
The ANBU was strong, anybody could feel that, though how strong he did not know, and his whole aura spoke of danger, much like a creature waiting to pounce.
The strokes of paint on his mask resembled a feline of sorts, crimson lines surrounding the eye holes in a way that made it seem even more feral, and Naruto shivered, as the ANBU was not looking at the nurse anymore, but at him. This was the feeling an ANBU offered, which was different from the cheerful appearance shinobi like Kakashi and Jiraiya had –the ANBU didn’t need to hide behind a façade, he was all about intimidation and outspoken threat.
Naruto couldn’t help but peek at the man’s attire in the few seconds between his appearance and the nurse freezing in place. The ANBU’s vest was simple, just black and metal, but there was a sword draped on his back, tied in a black cloth, and there was a pouch to his waist and a smaller one tied to his left leg.
He looked ready for a mission, and Naruto felt a wave of awe and respect for a man ready for everything even in his own village.
Unsure how to react to the ANBU’s appearance, Naruto remained quiet, waiting for the man to stop staring at him, or at least to speak up. Part of him was wary –this was one of Konoha’s best shinobi, what was he doing in the hospital, in his room?– and another part was feeling a strong wave of awe. He had never been able to see ANBU this close, not even during Oto’s attack, so this was a novelty.
The nurse let out a strangled yelp, then forgetting protocol, she turned around and left the room in a hurry, not even looking back, the door slamming behind her back.
Naruto only felt relieved for a split second, because when he looked at the ANBU again, the man was still staring at him, putting him on edge.
After what felt like an eternity, the ANBU finally looked away, and Naruto relaxed a bit, watching the man look towards Sasuke’s bed; the other teen was still sleeping, completely unaware of what was going on around him.
With the man’s aura diminishing now that the nurse was gone, Naruto could barely feel a chakra pulse coming from the ANBU, which was a statement of his strength. He watched as the guy moved towards his teammate’s bed, slowly and without making any noise.
Curious about what the older shinobi was going to do, Naruto simply stared. The ANBU wasn’t doing anything, actually, he was simply staring at Sasuke like he had stared at Naruto, without moving.
Naruto took a deep sigh. The ANBU was probably there under Tsunade’s orders to check on Sasuke, or maybe the Council had ordered him to protect their precious Uchiha heir, who knew? As long as they were aware Sasuke would not run away anymore, then it was fine.
Maybe it was simply because he still had some sort of resentment towards Sasuke, or better, for the way people treated him, but he had to wonder what was so interesting about Sasuke that made everybody want to love him so much.
Yeah, he was the last of the ‘infamous Uchiha clan’, but that to Naruto meant nothing. The clan was gone, and it seemed stupid to him that the value of a person had to be influenced by the family, rather than by personal accomplishments. Besides, Naruto could say he knew Sasuke better than anybody else, because they were teammates and tentatively, even friends. He knew what Sasuke thought of this worshipping thing the village reserved him.
It had taken a lot of fighting involved, but once he had goaded him enough, Sasuke had been willing to talk, if only to vent.
Naruto now could say he understood Sasuke a little more, and even if there was still some discomfort about the way everybody kept Sasuke on a pedestal, Naruto had learned that being worshipped like that didn’t really make Sasuke any happier and if anything, the two of them were equally messed up in different ways.
The ANBU only glanced up once, surprising Naruto who quickly looked away, and then returned to stare at Sasuke; Naruto took a deep breath, and tried to relax on the bed. Receiving attention like this from such a shinobi made him anxious, and he wasn’t sure this was good.
He was unable to really rest with the man still in the room, but the silence wasn’t unwelcome. If Sasuke was going to receive visits things would not remain quiet for long.
“It is very pathetic,” the ANBU finally spoke, voice soft but steely.
Naruto looked at him again, straining his neck a bit. He wondered if the man was talking about him, or the situation, or…
“Has no one realised the foolishness that this boy has fallen into?” the ANBU continued, making his way back towards Naruto’s bed. Once there, he knelt down, until he was the same eye level with the teen.
This close, Naruto was finally able to see the mask for what it was, and recognise the animal it represented.
It was a panther.
“You did, though, did you?” the ANBU’s voice snapped Naruto out of his stupor again. “And yet you chased him, and you did not stop until you had him back in Konoha”.
Naruto was taken aback by the fact that the cold tone of the man’s voice had disappeared now that he was talking to him, replaced with something else. Not quite warmth, but definitely nothing mean.
The ANBU was speaking to him without hatred.
Then, the words registered into Naruto’s mind, and he blinked. Foolishness. Yes, Sasuke had been foolish. He had tried to leave Konoha following the wrong lead, seeking the wrong kind of power. It was surprising someone who wasn’t one of Naruto’s important people agreed with him about it, though.
“Can you sit up?” not allowing Naruto time to ponder over what he had said, the man waited expectantly for his answer, still kneeling next to the bed.
The tone was still calm, void of anger, and Naruto wondered if he was being lulled into a false sense of security or if he could actually relax.
This man was an ANBU, and if he had wanted to hurt him, he could have done so without even trying –Naruto was tired and injured, after all– but he seemed calm, and not threatening anymore despite being still imposing.
The teen cleared his throat, feeling as if any kind of verbal reply would crush and destroy this strange sort of friendliness the man was showing him, and attempted to push himself up to a sitting position; his body felt heavy and tired and achy, but he managed to get himself halfway up before his head started to spin, turning the edges of his vision black.
He groaned softly and stopped, ready to lower himself back on the mattress, but without warning a hand secured itself around his back, aiding him up until he was sitting on the bed, his pillow comfortably cushioning him from the cold wall.
The position felt good, he could breathe better and it didn’t hurt, so he graced the man with a grateful smile.
The comforting hand on his shoulder moved away, but the ANBU did not stand up from his kneeling position. If Naruto didn’t know any better, he could have thought the older shinobi was concerned about him, which was nice but improbable.
“Are you feeling better now?” the ANBU asked him, the sound of his voice vaguely soothing. Naruto nodded, grinning sheepishly.
The ANBU’s eyes moved down his frame, observing the bandages, then hissed in displeasure as he noticed that one of Naruto’s wounds on his back had reopened, soaking them with blood. Naruto looked down, wincing, then shrugged.
He was aware that he wasn’t in a good shape, but his wounds would close themselves up pretty quickly, and he did not want to be subjected to more glares from the nurses because he was asking for a change of bandages. Maybe he’d just wait for Iruka to come and help instead… he was about to tell the ANBU he would get that fixed soon, but then noticed how his hands were clenched into fists. If he hadn’t been wearing gloves, Naruto was sure the knuckles would be white.
Was he angry? Was it because of the wound or…
Honestly, he had just met the man. He couldn’t be angry on his behalf, but maybe ANBU were more neutral than he had thought, and they considered him just like any other shinobi, rather than the Kyuubi container. That would be a pleasant change…
“Uzumaki Naruto,” the ANBU finally stood up, and looked down at him. Naruto gulped uneasily at his tone. “My name is Hyoodoku, and I am the Commander of the ANBU troops”.
This wasn’t entirely a surprise for Naruto –the man was oozing power, and he would have been a fool not to notice it. Still… this man was The Commander of the ANBU.
He had heard so many stories in regards to this person. All shinobi from Konoha knew of this name, and the amount of things Naruto heard even at Ichiraku Ramen, when older Jounin teamed together for a meal, was astonishing.
Naruto had always looked up to strong ninja like Jiraiya or Kakashi, but there was indeed a good deal of awe left for the many tales surrounding this ANBU commander. And now he was standing there in his hospital room, and Naruto felt a jolt of smugness at the thought that he was the one awake to talk to him, and Sasuke was still asleep. Take that, Sasuke.
He couldn’t wait to tell Shikamaru that he’d met the ANBU commander!
His next words came as a complete shock.
“I am offering you a chance to join the ANBU ranks”.
Naruto’s brain stuttered to a sudden halt.
What…?
He looked up at the blank mask, asking for confirmation, but the eyes peeking from behind were serious and dark.
“Wait… what?!”
                                                                     …–…–…–…
Iruka was, unfortunately, not a morning person.
Being a teacher also meant he had to wake up early, if he wanted to get to the academy in time to get things ready for his students, and today was no exception.
The dreaded practice day with weaponry was waiting for him at the Academy, and he had yet to wake up properly; his thoughts on the cup of coffee he would get once he got there, Iruka walked down the streets of Konoha, stretching his sleepy muscles slowly.
He really wasn’t looking forwards to his kids handling a bunch of shuriken.
Konohamaru wouldn’t be much trouble, the kid usually trained by himself during his free time, together with Moegi and Udon, and even if his aim wasn’t the best, at least he had some prior practice that could help, but the rest of the class was comprised mostly by civilian kids learning how to be a ninja, and most of them had no knowledge whatsoever.
It was not a happy prospect.
“Iruka-sensei!”
Iruka inwardly cringed as he heard Sakura’s voice; she was exuberant from the early morning without fail, and while she had been one of his best students at the academy, sometimes he still thought she was far too cheerful so early on.
He stopped and waited for her, rubbing his temple and pasting a smile on his lips.
“Sakura, it is pretty early,” he greeted her. “Did you sleep last night?”
She seemed fine, with no trace of the tears and red eyes from the night before, so he guessed that she was motivated and ready to tackle things with her teammates, which was good for her. Iruka was proud she was taking the initiative.
“Don’t worry for me, sensei,” she told him mock-serious, then smiled. “I had a good night’s sleep but was feeling too antsy to wait any longer, so I thought I could go see Naruto and Sasuke now… but… sensei, are you ok? You look tired”.
Iruka smiled at her, amused at her worry. “Don’t worry, it’s just that today is target practice day, and… well, you do remember what happened when you were my student, do you?”
Sakura flushed crimson and suddenly seemed to find her feet more interesting, shuffling awkwardly at the embarrassing memories of her own first target practice. “L-let’s not dwell on such old memories, right? Iruka-sensei?” she cleared her throat. “I have become good with shuriken now!”
“Yeah, I am sure you have,” he replied with a proud smile, and she peered up at him, grinning sheepishly. “But the hospital is the opposite way, so why are you here?”
Sakura’s face turned annoyed. “I met Kakashi-sensei on the way there, he sent me on an errand for him… here, he said to give you this,” Sakura handed him a small package she’d been holding until then, and Iruka took it with a confused frown, wondering about its contents.
Hatake Kakashi and himself were not really on friendly terms, as they only ever spoke in regards to Naruto’s welfare, and Iruka was still a bit annoyed at the man’s uncaring attitude in general, so he was definitely curious, and wary, about what the package was all about.
“Thank you, Sakura,” he smiled at her. “I have to hurry now, or I will, how dreadful, miss practice day,” Sakura giggled. “Will you tell Naruto that I will be there once I’m out from work?”
“Of course, sensei!” Sakura saluted him and hurried away, and he was left staring at her retreating back for the second time in two days.
Sakura was a nice girl, especially when she tried to fix things on her own, so he hoped her visit would at least mend things between Team7.
He examined the package with perplexity, and as he did so he noticed with the corner of his eye a figure flickering past the rooftop of a house at his right. With a shrug, he put the mystery package under his arm and resumed his walk towards the Academy.
He guessed he would have to try and open it during his lunch-break, unless something bad happened during practice and he had to forego his lunch to tend to his students (it wouldn’t be the first time this happened, after all), and he could go holding his curiosity for a bit longer.
All the while, he was aware of a pair of eyes following him from the roofs.
His morning stretched on slowly, but Iruka was used to the pace, and in the past years had learned to enjoy it. It was a privilege of the teacher to unnerve students, keep them on their toes and popping unexpected quiz questions on them when they didn’t listen.
It was a part of Iruka that would never be fully forgotten –he was a prankster, always had been, and while he had been forced to grow up and mature too quickly, that part had grown with him.
With the death of his parents, Iruka had to take care of himself, and sought attention in the same way Naruto had done, which was what had brought the two of them together, in the end. The desperate need to mess with people was still alive within it, and he felt absolutely no shame in keeping on edge his students.
After all, no teacher could be strict all the time, without coming to care and think about his students, and this way Iruka kept a balanced mix of respect and fear from them; under the thick layers of responsible acting and strict rules, his mischievous self still demanded some ‘sacrifices’.
Small things –throwing chalk at them when they didn’t pay attention, using his ‘roaring’ voice to scold them… with those he showed who was in control of the class, and gained their respect back when he pulled similar jokes on his fellow teachers, especially those who were less talented at dealing with the kids.
Being a good teacher had its perks.
Unfortunately, he was the one not quite as attentive as he should, as he was still thinking about Naruto, even while teaching class.
Not even that dreaded shuriken practice he had been preparing for throughout the last few weeks could distract him, nor lift his spirits, even though it did help him focus more. He had to… especially when one of his young girls almost successfully managed to chop his head off with a shuriken she was supposed to throw in the opposite direction.
Kids these days…
“Iruka-sensei?”
Iruka was startled out of his thoughts by a chorus of three voices, and he looked down already knowing who they belonged to –Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon.
The sight of the goggles on each of the three students’ foreheads always managed to bring a smile out of Iruka, who knew who they were trying to imitate by using them. Of all the people who believed in Naruto, those three were by far the most sincere ones.
“Konohamaru, go back to your practice,” Iruka told him sternly, his eyes promising one hell of a pain if he were not to follow his order.
Konohamaru yelped and backed away, but then swallowed down his fears and grabbed the Chuunin’s arm, looking up at him pleadingly. “Iruka-sensei, please! I just want to know if we can go see Naruto nii-chan today!”
Iruka’s eyes softened a bit –but just a bit.
“Focus on your throwing practice, Konohamaru, or you will never get out of the academy!” he stated, watching the kid’s face fall. He smiled. “Nothing stops you from going to see Naruto in the hospital this afternoon, though”.
All three kids smiled brightly at him and ran back to their training, clearly happier now as they chatted about what they could bring to their ‘boss’ as a get-well gift.
Iruka’s smile lingered, even if briefly, before he yelled out his encouraging orders at all the kids.
In a world that was dangerous, and implied that a lot of the same kids he was teaching would not last more than a decade, just knowing they had such a fire burning within them made him feel like he was not wasting his life, teaching them the way of the ninja.
He really did love to be a teacher.
                                                                     …–…–…–…
Naruto stared at the white wall without really seeing it.
He had been staring at it for a while already, almost like it held all the answers to the questions of the universe, and unfortunately he wasn’t nowhere close to understanding them.
The fact was, nothing made sense and he just couldn’t get it.
Things like that happened to other people, definitely not to the likes of him. It was like something out of a book or one of the movies he liked when he was little, where the normal hero was given the chance to be something more, something better, and he showed it to everybody.
Only that this time it had happened to him, not to someone else, not to Sasuke.
He really did not know what to think about the offer he’d received. It still felt like a dream.
An ANBU, a freaking ANBU –and not just a random one, but Venom Panther… The Commander of the Troops– had offered him a place in their ranks.
He had offered a chance to him.
To him, to Naruto.
Someone had looked at him –at him, not at Sasuke– and had seen enough potential to want to invest on it. Someone had chosen him instead of other people who were probably more skilled or worth it –Neji, who was the strongest genin of the past two years, or Shikamaru, who was the smartest ever, or Sasuke, who had so much to offer.
“I am offering you a chance to join the ANBU ranks,” Hyoo had said.
ANBU. He had never even thought about an ANBU career, his attention solely focused on the Hokage position, but they had always looked so cool to him, so strong… with their masks, their enormous power, moving through the night like shadows.
He remembered Haku dressed as one, with his imposing mask (on his very first real mission, where Naruto had met with Death in its impassive, horrid beauty), and how he’d felt inferior to him… Haku had been an enemy, but he had been strong, and so very cool, and Naruto could look back and admit he’d been just an untrained, embarrassing child. He hoped he had managed to get better since then…
He could understand Haku better now –his reasons, his words from back then. He could see his own stupidity now, the mask that he’d placed over his real self in order to protect his fragile illusions.
He had wanted recognition so badly, nothing else had ever mattered.
What about now?
Someone was giving him the attention he had craved. To him, and only him.
“ANBU?” Naruto’s voice had trembled, hesitation clear, but the man had not reacted badly to his confusion, and Naruto could have sworn he had been amiably smiling under the panther mask.
“I am offering this opportunity to you, Naruto, and to you alone. Obviously not to the Uchiha. Just to you. Because I can see what you can become, given some time. ANBU would accept you with open arms, were you to choose that path to follow. This is where you could belong, and where you could get the training you need to show your true skills”.
A real training, a place where people could accept him?
Naruto had wanted something like this for all his life, and now that it was being offered to him, he couldn’t help but be hesitant. It was just too good. Did a place that could accept him without him having to prove himself really exist? Just like that?
Was that man just fooling around with him? Was he speaking the truth? Naruto wasn’t as disillusioned as he had once been. He knew that to gain what he wanted, to be acknowledged, he had to make sacrifices, fight his way through with teeth and claws…
Was the offer all there was to it, or… was it not?
Part of him wanted to believe the ANBU and trust him, but he had decided that only trusting his heart would not work that well. He had trusted Sasuke, and had to chase him all the way to the Valley of End to fight against him, all of that just to get him to listen. Not his smartest moment.
“N… Naruto?”
Blinking and resurfacing from his confused thoughts, the teen realised that Sasuke had woken up, and was staring at him from the other end of the room.
Sasuke’s voice was unexpectedly hesitant, a trait that one would not associate with him, honestly, but Naruto understood –he also did not know how to act around him, not after what had happened at the Valley of End.
They looked at each other for a moment, both stuck with feeling somewhat awkward and more than a bit embarrassed. It wasn’t about forgiveness –Naruto had already forgiven Sasuke, and Sasuke, knowing he had been wrong, had forgiven Naruto for butting in.
No, it was about their friendship, and the fact that they were teammates, and more than that, it was because they had been more open with each other than they had been with anybody in a long time, and that messed up the way they acted around each other.
When you confide in someone for the first time, there’s always a moment where you have to find the rhythm again, and Naruto and Sasuke were going through exactly that.
Then the moment passed, and both Naruto and Sasuke felt the air shift around them. They would be ok.
Sasuke stretched his arms slowly, then cracked his neck. “This hospital thing is boring,” he stated, then after a moment of hesitation, he added, “how are you, dobe?”
The voice was teasing, with no trace of the previous harshness.
“Better than you I think, teme,” Naruto shot back, smirking. “You look like a mummy!”
Sasuke snorted softly, then raised one eyebrow, as Naruto was just as covered in bandages as he was. Naruto chuckled sheepishly.
Silence fell on them again, but it wasn’t as tense as it could have been, which was as good as it could be, everything considered. Naruto idly watched dust flutter in front of him, then sighed. “I hope someone brings some food sometimes soon… I’m starving! I’d eat three ramen cups… maybe even four!”
Sasuke’s lips twitched upwards.
The door chose that moment to crack open, as if to answer Naruto’s words, and Sakura stomped in, looking determined but cheerful.
She had been standing outside of their room for a while, not that they could have known, simply psyching herself up for the confrontation.
There had been many things to think about while Naruto and Sasuke had been unconscious in the hospital, and a lot of it had to do with herself. The sense of abandonment she had felt when Sasuke had left, the helplessness of having been unable to help him… and the reassurance Naruto had offered her, despite the way she had treated him before.
Sakura had thought a lot about things.
While the crush she had on Sasuke was still there, she could finally look at it with more rationality, and she felt disappointed in herself for acting like a weak fangirl rather than the kunoichi she was.
And her dislike for Naruto… it had all stemmed from so many places that to try and find when it had started would take far too long. But she did not hate Naruto anymore. If she had to be honest with herself, he had been a bit annoying with his crush on her, but at the same time he had never pushed anything on her, and had always tried to be open and include her in things, even when he and Sasuke kept spurring each other on.
Naruto had been a friend to her, but she had not accepted that, nor the fact that they were teammates. And with Sasuke, she had seen him as her crush first, rather than a person and a teammate. With both she had failed to grasp the real meaning of being in a team, and while she could not make her crush on Sasuke vanish just like that, she was going to act like a more mature person, and work with both of them to restore their friendship instead.
She was a kunoichi. She had chosen this path despite her parents’ attempts to dissuade her, because she knew she wanted to be one. This was supposed to be something Sakura had decided for herself, on her own, not because of some boy or to seem more interesting, and it was time she remembered this.
Just like Naruto, who had never betrayed his word, now Sakura would do the same. She had promised herself she would be a better friend and teammate, and most of all, a better ninja.
If she’d been a friend, instead of a pathetic girl with a crush, maybe she could have understood both her teammates instead of watching them break apart. But no more.
“Good morning!” she tried to sound cheerful as she walked into the room, closing the door behind her back.
For once, her priority was Naruto and that was… refreshing, in a way.
“Sakura-chan!” Naruto’s eyes filled with warmth and happiness, and Sakura felt another pang of guilt.
Yes, things had to change.
Apparently feeling that Sakura was up to something, grunted and looked out of the window, faking disinterest for his teammates’ interaction.
Sakura moved to Naruto’s bed, and she hesitated only a fraction before she punched the teen lightly on the head.
“Ouch!” Naruto winced, not sure what to expect, but when he looked at Sakura again, he saw her holding something out to him. “What’s in there?”
“Ramen, of course,” she made a show of rolling her eyes. “I thought you would be famished and hospital food… doesn’t cut it now, does it?” she smiled a bit, then turned serious, and swallowed thickly on the lump in her throat. “Just consider this a thank you. I haven’t been the best of friends until now, but I will… I will do better, Naruto. Please accept my apologies for asking you to do something for me that I had no rights of asking you, and for treating you like I was above you”.
Naruto grabbed the offered bag with a bright smile, and nudged Sakura’s hand with his own. “Well, I always say everybody deserves a second chance,” he rubbed the bridge of his nose, embarrassed by her words. “We can start again, that would be nice!”
He knew what she meant, and that she was saying she was sorry, and he gladly accepted it, accepted her, because this was Sakura-chan, and he cared for her a lot, and having her say they were friends was way better than the way she had acted earlier on.
She had been his very first crush, and even though he still liked her a lot, it didn’t feel like the kind of like he wanted. Sakura preferred Sasuke, and he could not compete with that. He wouldn’t compete. Not because he was inferior to Sasuke, but because he wished for a kind of love that would be for him first and foremost, not a second best.
And respecting Sakura’s own feelings was the right thing to do.
Maybe in the future, she might come to see him like that, but that was not now, and Naruto did not want to keep his hopes up indefinitely just because there might be an opening in a far future.
Besides, by renouncing to this one-sided love, he was opening himself up to something far more important –her friendship.
To break the silence, he ripped the bag open and took out one of three freshly made, still steaming take-away cups of ramen, directly from his favourite stand.
“Thank you Sakura-chan! Aah, Ichiraku ramen is the best!”
Naruto did the only sensible thing he could, and started to inhale his food, allowing Sakura to move from his side to Sasuke’s. Seeing them talk was a bit bitter, but at the same time he was aware that Sasuke’s first thought was not girls, and he had never shown any sort of interest in Sakura so that made her feelings for him just as one-sided as Naruto’s own for her.
Sakura smiled, grateful that Naruto had managed to understand without so many words, then looked over to where Sasuke was, and walked to him.
There was something she had to say, and acting straightforwardly would be the only way.
She opened her mouth, and in that instant, looking at Sasuke’s face, she knew exactly what the answer would be. She had always known, but the knowledge now surprisingly didn’t hurt as much as she’d thought it would. She bit her lower lip and steadied herself for rejection.
“Sasuke-kun… I like you,” she stated, clear and unashamed, with just a soft dusting of red on her cheeks.
Things would be somewhat awkward, but they would get better.
Giving up on Sasuke, knowing she had never had a chance with him from the very start, was the only thing she could offer in exchange for Naruto’s friendship. And Sasuke’s, too.
The slurping sound from Naruto’s side of the room ceased for a moment but then started again, and Sakura tried to calm her pounding heart.
Sasuke seemed to consider her words carefully, and she was grateful for that. It seemed that being direct gave her a better response from him than acting like a little kid.
“I… I do not like you, Sakura,” he replied, looking right at her, voice steady and even. There was no pity in his tone, nor dislike, but also there was no opening for hope either. He was responding to her direct approach by being honest and clear, so she would not get her hopes up in vain.
Sakura nodded, her lower lip trembling just the slightest bit. “No chance that you might change idea?” she asked then, and her voice was strangely steady.
Still looking right into her eyes, Sasuke shook his head. “No, I don’t think so,” he replied. Then, in a show of good will, he decided to continue. “You are aware of what my goals are, Sakura. Right now, there is no place for anything else in my life, I hope you can respect that”.
Sakura had always thought that if she ever was rejected by her love, she’d feel like the world had crumbled on her. She’d thought that it would hurt so much, and that was why she had never openly confessed, putting her feelings down in front of him –she had been hiding behind her attraction to Sasuke, afraid that he would do just that… reject her.
Strangely, it didn’t feel like that at all. Her heart missed a beat, yes, but it didn’t stop all of sudden.
The world didn’t end. It was just the end of… her crush.
“Then… can we be friends?” she asked, breathing deeply.
Sasuke stared at her, inwardly surprised that she was willing to put aside her crush (at least in theory), but positively impressed that with how much shit this team had gone through, they had only ended up being closer.
He nodded. “Yeah,” he murmured, looking out of the window. “Sure”.
Sakura smiled, reassured by his calm acceptance, and from the other end of the room, Naruto also felt his lips twitch into a smile as he slurped down a mouthful of noodles.
This sounded like a turning point for Team7…
BAM!
The door slammed open without warning, banging loudly against the wall as a man entered the room like a living tornado, effectively breaking the contemplative, thoughtful mood that had settled on the three.
Jiraiya straightened his back, puffing his chest out with an aura of importance and self-esteem, bouncing towards Naruto’s bed with an overly stretched smile on his lips, completely ignoring the two teens on the other side of the room.
He always knew how to make an entrance.
Suffocating on a mouthful of ramen, Naruto started coughing loudly, staring in surprise at his mentor, the situation between Sasuke and Sakura momentarily forgotten.
“I, Jiraiya the toad sennin, have arrived!” the Sennin smirked proudly.
Silence greeted him, and the man turned around to look at the other two teens in the room before looking back down at Naruto. All three members of Team7 were staring at him with a weird look in their eyes.
Coughing discreetly, Jiraiya shrugged it off like he did every time he announced himself, and his mood shifted abruptly to a serious one, observing the young teen on the bed with concern.
Flopping down on the chair next to his pupil’s bed, he asked, “How are you feeling, Naruto?”
Sasuke, Sakura, and ramen forgotten in a second, Naruto smiled one of his rare, real smiles at the Sennin, the kind of calm, meaningful grin he only reserved to the people he considered closest to him. “I’m fine, Ero–sennin,” he replied, more to reassure the man than anything else.
In a way, both of them knew Jiraiya needed to hear this from him.
“How many times did I tell you I don’t want you to call me that, you brat?” the man growled, though there was a small smile on his lips.
Naruto chuckled; he knew Jiraiya was strong, but that didn’t mean he was not a pervert. Thus he would never stop calling him like that. Besides, both knew it was more an endearment than anything else.
“Well, let’s cut the chase,” Jiraiya puffed his chest out, tapping it with one hand. “I have come here with an offer. You are hereby allowed to follow the greatest ninja walking on the elemental countries for training, which is to say, me!” he couldn’t have looked more pompous if he had tried. “I want you to join me for my next trip outside of Konoha, Naruto. You will train under my tutelage for the next three years, becoming the new pupil of the Hermit Toad Sennin!”
For the second time in less than two hours, Naruto was left speechless.
“Whaaat?!”
                                                                     …–…–…–…
The hospital room was silent.
Naruto was left alone with his thoughts again, which were now even messier than before, so he did need some time to sort through them.
Sakura had gone home, humbled by finding out that the perverted old man who had offered training to Naruto was actually one of the strongest ninja from Konoha, and Sasuke had been taken away for questioning.
After all, even if Naruto had vouched for him, and Tsunade trusted him, that did not mean she trusted Sasuke, not to mention an attempt at betraying the village was no easy feat, and she needed to act accordingly to the gravity of the matter.
That left Naruto alone enough for him to think things through.
Jiraiya had offered to train him. He had said that in front of his teammates, and that said volumes of the man’s intentions.
Before, he had grumbled even just at the thought of helping Naruto learn a jutsu, and now he was offering him not just a few hours of training, but full apprenticeship.
Three years.
And they would be away from Konoha.
Naruto supposed it was a good thing. It meant he would get to be trained by an awesome shinobi, one of the best… even if he was a pervert… it was a chance neither Sasuke nor Sakura could have.
He should have been bouncing in happiness, and yet… he wasn’t as excited at the news as he’d thought he would be.
He had opened his mouth to reply, but nothing had come out, and he had fallen silent, eyes wide in surprise, knowing that his silence had worried his teammates and also Jiraiya.
Was it so wrong he had faltered rather than answer a resounding ‘yes’?
The look of hurt in Jiraiya’s eyes at his lack of an answer had made Naruto feel massively guilty. The man had offered him training, and apprenticeship, and Naruto… Naruto hadn’t refused, yes, but he hadn’t jumped at the chance either.
Naruto clenched his hand into a fist, glaring down at it with a frown. He wanted to agree, but… but then the ANBU’s words had superimposed on Jiraiya’s offer, and that had stopped him.
All excitement had vanished from him, and he’d been left with nothing but confusion and longing.
“I have to think about it,” he had muttered instead, surprising the Sennin, Sasuke and even Sakura, who had been staring at him with worry.
Naruto chuckled bitterly, looking down at the pendant he wore around his neck –the necklace Tsunade had given him glinted softly when it caught a stray ray of light.
He was confused. He didn’t know what to do –where was his determination now? Why did he even want to consider becoming an ANBU?
Maybe because Hyoo had spoken to him seriously, confidentially, openly.
Maybe because he was more tired than he could admit… even to himself.
Did he really want to move down that path? As an ANBU?
‘Do I really know what it means to be an ANBU?’ he wondered, closing his eyes. ‘Have a secret life, of which I cannot speak with anyone? Something private, sacred…’ but he already had a secret he could not reveal, even though the burden was sometimes enough to make him cringe.
And then, he’d have to kill if things came down to that. Right? ANBU were supposed to know how to kill.
‘It’s one thing to declare to be a ninja, say you can kill and delude yourself you can, and another is to actually do it and accept what you’ve done’.
He was not sure who’d said that. He supposed it could have been Iruka, or maybe another one of the academy teachers, but the words had burned themselves in his mind, and now resurfaced with even greater clarity.
If given no other choice, Naruto had always reassured himself that in order to protect his precious people he would kill. It had never happened –not yet– but would he really be able to live with that burden?
Besides, what if killing came as a mission requirement, and not to protect someone he cared for? What if it was just to protect himself, or the mission. Or just because it was an enemy that had to die.
He’d always tried not to think about it, but he couldn’t run away from the thought anymore, now.
It was important.
‘Am I really that good of a ninja?’ Naruto looked out of the window, following a butterfly fly by until the animal disappeared behind the corner.
Unbidden, a memory of Sarutobi’s face slowly resurfaced from the depths of his mind.
The Sandaime had visited the academy to make a speech to Naruto’s class, but the kids (most of them at least) were not paying attention. Naruto had been doodling on his desk, but then something in the Hokage’s tone had attracted his attention.
“You might be far too young to understand my words, for now,” the man had said, smiling gently. “Being a shinobi means you might have to make a decision between your life and the life of someone else. Facing dangers, missions where it’s either your life, or that of your enemy. The enemy of one day might then become the ally of another, too… the balance between an assassin, a ninja, is determined by that person’s heart, will and strength, and how far he is willing to go in order to protect what’s important for him”.
Back then, Naruto had only been thinking about the excitement that being a ninja would bring to him, he’d been more focused on the ‘dangers and missions’ than on the ‘it’s your life or that of your enemy’. He had ignored the seriousness of the Hokage’s words…
Now things had changed. He could understand what the man had meant.
Then what?
ANBU or three years with Jiraiya? Was that his choice? What would change in his life if he chose one path instead of the other?
Closing his eyes, Naruto let himself fall back on the mattress, not even wincing as the pain was almost completely gone already.
This decision would prove to be rather complicated, after all…
                                                                     …–…–…–…–…–…–…
Cepheus: end of second chapter. Drop in a review and I’ll write more! Tell me if you like!
Glossary:
Kiri-nin – Mist-nin, ninja from Kiri no Kuni, Mist Country.
Dobe – Dead last. It’s a word Sasuke used a lot to refer to Naruto.
Teme – bastard. Word Naruto uses to refer to Sasuke.
Sandaime – means ‘Third’ in a succession. In this case, the Third Hokage.
- 1
- 2
- 3
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Colourless Vanity