Yoru No Koishii

Since it’s often said there’s two sides to every story, here’s Sasuke’s side.

******

I never meant to drag him into this.

I thought it would be easy. I’d just walk away, and he’d move on. I should have known how foolish that was when he tried to drag me back, but I was still trying to deny that I had any feelings for anyone then, other then hatred.

When Orochimaru captured him I went out of my way to avoid him, standing around corners if he was being dragged down a hall I needed to take, waiting until I was sure he was out of Orochimaru’s rooms before I’d report to the Snake, no matter how long it kept me from other, important things.

I think I knew that if I were to see him I wouldn’t be able to deny my emotions anymore.

And then that night.

******

It seemed like any other night. I hadn’t had any missions that day, and the weather hadn’t been cooperative, so I had been studying new jutsu. I was headed back to my room, reading over a scroll that I hadn’t quite understood yet.

I knew there was someone there; I always know when there’s someone nearby, no matter how well they’re hidden. I didn’t realise who it was until I looked though, catching the slightest glimpse of blue before it disappeared.

It surprised me, and I wondered how he had gotten out of the cell, then realised it didn’t matter. I should have dragged him out of the alcove and back down to the dungeons; yelled at the guards for letting him escape before I made sure he couldn’t do it a second time.

I didn’t.

I stood still a moment, giving a last effort to fighting off those unwanted emotions, before giving up. Maybe, I thought, if I just get it out of my system.

“Come.”

I heard the hiss he let out, could almost see his blue eyes sparking in anger, though I was already walking again.

I think he was as surprised as I was when he followed. I hadn’t actually expected him to obey the command; I had been sure he’d be headed the other way as soon as my back was turned. Although, he never could resist his curiosity. And, I thought with a smirk, he never could resist chasing after me.

I kept an eye on him the way back to my room, his attempts to pretend he didn’t know that I knew he was there more amusing with every step.

I can’t say I was surprised when he didn’t follow me into the room; curious or not, he isn’t a complete idiot. Well, not all the time at least, though I’ll never admit that to him.
“Come, Kitsune.” I’m not sure if I even wanted him to hear me, but apparently he did, because a moment later he stepped into the room, looking around cautiously.

I closed the door silently, turning to look at him. All the furniture in there was expensive, only the best for Orochimaru’s future host, but at that moment he was the most precious thing I saw, despite the fact that he was filthy, his pants ragged, his shirt long since gone missing. There were cuts and bruises on his wrists and ankles where metal cuffs had bit in, red marks on his neck where the collar had chafed the skin.

“You’re dirty.” He jumped at my voice and my arms moved automatically to calm him, my body once more reacting on its own. In that instant I just wanted to make all his hurt go away, wave some sort of magic wand or cast a jutsu that would make all the pain in his life disappear.

I couldn’t do that, but I could ease his pain a little, at least. But first he needed a wash.

“Don’t be long.” I told him, pushing him into the bathroom. I locked the door behind him. I didn’t really think he’d try to run, but I also didn’t think I could handle it if he did.

I pulled a long robe-like shirt from my closet for him to wear. It was a bit too long for my tastes, falling to about mid-thigh, but he was still shorter then me and I was sure it would fit him fine. The sleeves were mid-length, not quite short-sleeved, and not quite long.

He didn’t hear me come in or leave the first time, too intent on trying to scrub his skin off, nor did he notice my second entrance, until I called him an idiot. Then he looked up, before putting the soap down and rinsing off.

It upset me a bit when he refused to meet my eyes, but I didn’t comment, figuring he was probably falling back to the way he acted with Orochimaru. I knew the snake’s other slaves were timid to a fault, and wasn’t sure that I wouldn’t get to be the same, if I had had to deal with his appetites. He hadn’t touched me though; I was far too precious to waste on momentary amusement.

I was surprised again when he didn’t hesitate to follow me to the bedroom, I had figured he would be nervous about it, to say the least. Though he did tense up visibly once we were in the bed, lying on his back at my side.

We lay still for a few minutes, me on my side watching him, him lying there with his eyes closed, trying to relax but not having much luck. I suppose beds were probably not a nice thought right then. I wanted to see how much he trusted me, but decided not to. Going too fast would have scared him off, and I didn’t want to do that.

He whimpered slightly when I reached out to push a wet lock of hair off his forehead, then he was suddenly pressing against me, clutching my shirt as if it was a lifeline. Uncertain how to respond, I hugged him, and apparently that was what he wanted, since he relaxed immediately, rubbing his head against my chest. It reminded me of the way the cat my mother had had when I was young used to rub her head against my leg, or my chin if I was holding her. In any case, it was impossibly cute, and drew a smile from me.

I lay awake long after his breathing had evened out, just listening to him sleep.

******

It hadn’t occurred to me, until he woke me the next morning, as to what Orochimaru would think about him being in my room, although, looking back, I would have probably got the praise for preventing his escape while he would have been beaten, at the least. Orochimaru was never one to skimp on a punishment.

But apparently he thought of that as well, because later he passed me, I on my way to another mission, he to Orochimaru’s rooms.

******

My thoughts changed after that. Before they had just been about getting stronger, with maybe an odd thought here and there about how he was doing. After that first night though, I couldn’t get him off my mind, and every night that he returned to my rooms made me happier, and, at the same time, more upset.

I began to try and make sure I had something for him to eat when he came, and I ordered clothes made to fit him, paid out of the Uchiha accounts. A pendant I bought when, out on a mission, I had seen a jewellery stand. The merchant had a sign declaring he would make the pendants to order, so I ordered one with the Uchiha symbol.

That caused a problem. Orochimaru had known from the first night that he was sneaking to my room; I suppose he must have recognized the shirt or maybe he caught the scent off of it. But he had never said anything beyond a few very thinly veiled comments to the effect of ‘the pretty fox’ being easier to control lately and looking rather well dressed for a slave. The pendant pissed him off. He didn’t do anything about it though, after my own comments, also just the slightest hint vague, about me being the only reason said fox hadn’t just left. I still ended up with a whole bunch of the missions no one wanted to do after that.

It was worth it, I decided, every time I saw him with it on, a sign of who he truly belonged to. Orochimaru he obeyed because he had too. Me, he came to willingly.

******

Then the day I heard about the Chakra Bind no Jutsu. A technique that, supposedly, could transfer one ninja’s chakra and strength to another. There were catches, of course, the subject had to be completely willing, and the binding took a long time.

It seemed too good to be true. Naruto had all the power I could ever need, more then enough to defeat my brother, while I had the knowledge to use it.

The jutsu was little more then a rumour at that point, a tale heard from a friend of a friend of someone’s cousin, but it was worth trying to find, since, no matter what I did, I couldn’t seem to get strong enough fast enough.

The only problem was what Naruto would do if I left. I couldn’t very well have revealed my plans, since Orochimaru would hardly just let me go like that, but I didn’t want Naruto to think I had abandoned him.

******

But finally I’m ready. Orochimaru has received word from his spies that Konoha has an attack planned, and has let it slip to the spies he knows of that the north gate will be undermanned, trying to draw the attackers to that gate, where he’s planned an ambush. To do that, though, he’s pulled forces from the South gate, actually leaving it undermanned. It’s not difficult to alert the spies to the deception, since I’ve tipped them off before to his schemes.

The only problem is the girl who somehow managed to find out about my plan. She demands I take her with me, and while I know I should just slit her throat and be done with her, some part of me, probably affected by him, can’t help but feel sorry for her. So despite my better judgement, I help her slip out of the city, on a supposed errand of mine.

It’s time to go, and still I’m standing here by the bed, holding my last present to him, for a while, at least, though I hope there’ll be more in the future. It takes me a while to get up the nerve to actually leave. Part of me wants to stay, to explain to Naruto myself what I’m trying to do. But the choker I left will have to speak for me, and hopefully he’ll get the message.

The attack goes as planned, the Konoha allies easily defeating Sound’s forces. I watch from nearby, carefully hidden.

Then Sakura pulls Naruto into view, and my gaze focuses on him. I had forgotten just how beautiful he was in the sunlight, the rays lighting him up like some unearthly angel. Though I don’t miss the way he stares around, and then looks disappointed when he can’t find me. I’m a bit surprised by that; I almost expected him to forget about me entirely. Out of sight, out of mind.

It’s a little upsetting when I see him a bit later with Gaara at his side, and I can’t help but feel jealous. If anyone can take him away from me it would be the sand-nin.

I hope it won’t happen, that he’ll wait for me for return, but I won’t be upset with him if he doesn’t. I’ve put him through too much pain to actually expect it of him.

The path out of the city is clear until I reach the gates, where I find Sakura and Shikamaru acting as guards.

“Uchiha.” Shikamaru steps out into my path and I stop, hoping I’m not going to have to fight him.

“Sasuke.” Sakura breathes, staring at me. “Y-you’re leaving again.” Her disappointment is evident, but I can’t bring myself to care.

“Sakura.” I begin, then pause, unsure of what I want to say. Finally I manage to find the words.

“Look after him for me. Make sure he’s happy, if I don’t…” I’m going to say ‘if I don’t make it back’, but I don’t. No sense in jinxing it.

“Hai.” She doesn’t ask who, there’s no doubt about who I’m talking about.

“You three.” Shikamaru grumbles. “You’re always so troublesome.” I only smirk, understanding the message beneath the complaint.

Then both step aside, letting me pass, and I’m moving out of his life again.

******

And that’s going to clear up some things from Naruto’s POV, such as a bit of just what Sasuke’s travels all those years are for.