Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Hidden Heartache	By : shiinechan Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2057 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Disclaimer: Naruto doesn�t
belong to me and I will be making no money from this story. This is simply a
work of fiction by a fan.

Pairings: SasuNaru, one-sided GaaraNaruto, plus others

Warnings: Yaoi, angst, mpreg OOC,
language, Naruto�s POV

Hidden Heartache
Chapter 2

�Everything started a few months ago,� I told Gaara, in a soft audible voice. Memories started to flood
my mind, as if speaking that sentence broke a dam that had prevented me from
recalling the events. I started to relive in vivid detail the day this mess
began. It was a day that started out bad and only got worse as it progressed.

-------Flashback---------

Rain pounded the roof, waking me up from a deep sleep. I
yawned and started to curse the weather. My body was still tired from the
restless night sleep, which was plagued with dreams I couldn�t
stop, and to be honest, I didn�t know if I wanted them to stop. My eyes gazed
over towards the wall clock. I jumped out of bed, screaming, �I�m late, damn it.�
I dressed in record time, brushed my inch long hair, and put my forehead
protector on. I skipped my morning shower and felt less than human, but I
hurried out the door in the direction of the Hokage�s
tower.

It took five minutes of non-stop running before I arrived. My
heavy breathing filled the empty hallway, as I bent over, trying to catch my
breath. The voices on the other side of the door were involved in a deep
conversation; the tone was series, but I couldn�t make
out any words. After a minute, I composed myself enough to enter. I smiled with
false cheerfulness, opened the door, and exclaimed, �Sorry I�m late.�

All eyes were on me, as I interrupted the meeting, but I didn�t avert my gaze from the Hokage.
Sitting behind her desk, Tsunade stared directly at
me. When our eyes met and I could see instantly her displeasure. She tapped her
fingers angrily on the desk. If looks could kill, I would have been dead the
instant I walked through the door. I smiled once again and listened for the
angry reprimand that was sure to follow, but only the steady tapping sound of Tsunade�s fingers filled the room, so I waited but she
continued to tap. It was time to diffuse the situation, so I tried to explain
and apologize before her anger exploded, �See, I was��

�Naruto I don�t want to hear it,�
the Hokage said, cutting me off.
She paused for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing, �You�re an
hour late and we�re just about to wrap up the meeting, so just be quiet and
follow along. I�m sure someone will fill you in on what you�ve missed.� Her
cold voice sent chills up my spine. She never talked to me using this cold
tone. I stared at Tsunade. She had dark circles under
her eyes and her hair lacked the absolute perfection it usually had. At that
point, I knew something was bothering her.

�Who�s this?� a strange cold voice asked. I turned to look towards
the speaker. A girl about my age with icy blue eyes and reddish-brown hair looked
at me. We were the same height. She stood straight, lifting her chin up, trying
to appear taller, so she could look down on me. Even though she couldn�t get her nose high enough in the air to gaze down at
me, she felt completely superior. Immediately
I hated her attitude and started to give her a chilly stare that mirrored her
own.

I looked her up and down, planning my words. �Hey, who the...�
I started say but another voice cut me off.

�Dobe shut up and listen,� Sasuke ordered. �This is our client, Sayori,�
he explained. �Since you only recently made an appearance you missed the
initial introductions.� Yeah Sasuke has a way with
words. He managed to comment about my lateness and stop me from verbally
attacking our client, which I was about to do. Client or not, it still didn�t matter, she didn�t have the right to look at me like
dirt. I looked straight into his amused eyes filled with superiority, which
pissed me off. He was silently daring me to continue. My anger shifted towards
him and his superiority complex, but before I could respond to his smug
expression, our client spoke.

�Sasuke, who is this?�
she asked disgustedly, latching onto his arm. Sasuke�s
body immediately stiffened along with mine. A part of me liked seeing Sasuke uncomfortable and another part wanted him to push
her away. Sasuke didn�t
tolerate people and especially being touched by people, so this girl had a lot
of nerve or at some point in time they really hit it off. Considering I didn�t like her, either possibility seemed feasible because
she was full of herself and Sasuke might like someone
I hated.

�This is Uzumaki Naruto our team member,� Sakura responded, pausing to let
the news sink in before continuing, �He will be joining us as well.� Sakura
moved over towards us and put her hand on my shoulder, telling me to calm down
and, in her own way, informing our client to back off. Over the years, Sakura
and I have become close and we always support each other. I followed her advice
and let myself start to calm.

�Won�t he slow us down? He doesn�t look reliable,� she said ignoring
the glare Sakura gave her; Even though I couldn�t see
it, I could feel the cold stare coming from behind me as Sakura tighten her
grip on my shoulder.

Anger turned to confusion. �Why did she hate me so much?� I
asked myself. Her face didn�t look the least bit familiar, so we hadn�t met before.
Her enmity reflected the villagers; they even shared the same cold stare. Did
she know about Kyuubi? I asked myself, but quickly
pushed that idea away. She was from another village and about my age too. Kyuubi�s rampage would have had little effect on her life
and being from another a different place decreased the chances of her knowing
about the fox. If she knew, she would have found out during her stay here. I expected
people in this village to hate me. I lived with their coldness. These people
hated me for something I didn�t do or something I had
no control over. The villagers keep their hatred a secret, and they are good at
it. The younger generation has no idea why I am hated.
This girl�s time in our village wouldn�t have lead her
to Kyuubi or more importantly me being his container.
One thing I�ve learned, the people of Konoha detest me, but they would keep the secret. I have no
delusions. The villagers didn�t do it for me but for
themselves. The chance of another village using my power was far greater if
they knew I had any, so they guarded the secret to prevent that from happening.

�Hey, I�m one of the best ninjas in the village.� I said,
hiding the anger and confusion behind a mask that reflected confidence. One
lesson I learned from the villagers during the years was putting on a mask of
indifference, cheerfulness, or confidence and it became a survival technique.
Not for the reason you may think, it didn�t stop the
torment, but I learned to believe I felt those things. If it didn�t
bother me, then it didn�t hurt as much, but later, usually at night, the
suppressed emotions would surface, and in my lonely apartment, I would cry
myself to sleep.

�Yeah, if you say so,� Sayori said
sarcastically. �Have you looked in the mirror, shortie?
You look like a cross dressing girl. If you really are one of the best ninjas
in the village then that doesn�t say much for this village.�

Anger started to build and my mask started to slip. I
clenched my fist, resisting the urge to punch her. Slowly my rage calmed enough
for me to speak, but before I could tell her off, Tsunade
interrupted, �Sayori, Naruto
is one of the village�s best ninjas and he will be escorting you home. As Hokage and an ally to your village, your comments will only
cause tension and mistrust, so remember you place.� She paused for a moment
before continuing, �Your uncle and I have been friends for many years, and I
can guarantee you he would not be pleased with your comments or attitude.�

Tsunade gets the job done. Not
only did she treat an important ally with respect, but she also made her feel
guilty about her actions and words, while preserving the village�s relations. I
would have screamed at the girl, causing tension that might take years to fix. Sadly,
this reflection caused me to look at my inadequacies. My short temper and my
inability to think before I speak could cause problems, and would have caused
difficulties today, if Tsunade hadn�t
interrupted.

The door slammed, causing me to raise my head. Looking
around I saw only Tsunade in the room. I was furious
with myself. How could a ninja not notice three people leaving? Yeah, that says
a lot about my ability. Sayori must be ecstatic. In
one afternoon, I managed to prove her theory true. My mind quickly grasped the
reason for the detachment, but before I could dwell on the subject, the Hokage spoke.

�Naruto,� She started to say, but
I cut her off.

�I�m sorry. I don�t know what�s came over me.�

�Kid, I�ve never seen you so disconnected. You�re never late
and even after you came, well your body might have been here but your mind was
somewhere else.�

�I�m sorry about
being late, but I didn�t sleep well and it seems to be effecting my entire day,�
I explained.

�Naruto, something tells me you
haven�t had one night of uncomfortable sleep. Anyone can see you�re
tired. Does this have anything to do with Kyuubi?�
she asked.

�No,� I hesitated before continuing, �I�ve been having
strange dreams.� That was all I planned on saying. If I had anything to say
about it, no one would know about those dreams. I might not have clear
recollection, but the parts that I do remember will stay hidden. They�re uncomfortable and embarrassing to recall let alone
share.

�What kind of dreams?� Tsunade
asked in a soft soothing voice and if not for the nature of the dreams, I might
have told her, but I gave her a look that said to drop it. After a long sigh,
she continued, �Will you be alright during the mission? I can get Neji to replace you.�

�No way!� I yelled. �I have never
been replaced on a mission and it won�t start now.� Tsunade
looked torn. I took a deep breath and calmed down before continuing, �Hokage I swear to you I can complete this mission and my
distraction won�t get in the way. I�ve never had a
problem before. I would tell you if everything wasn�t ok.�

The room was silent. We stared into each other�s eyes; Tsunade spoke, �Ok Naruto, I�ve
never known you to let your personal feelings get in the way, nor cause you to become distracted at a crucial moment The
client is the Shimokage�s niece of Frost Village.
She is difficult, but never forget who she is, and if you�re
going to be Hokage, then it�s important not to damage
relations with another village. During this mission, I want you to practice
your social skills. Remember as Hokage, you have to
contend with many types of people. Go home, get some rest and meet the group in
front of the main gate tomorrow morning at five o�clock and this time don�t be
late.� Tsunade smiled, but I could see tension in her
face.

�I promise. Now it�s your turn.
What has you so agitated?� I asked.

She looked down at her desk. �So now you�re doing the same
thing I did. Naruto it�s
nothing. I�m just very busy,� she explained.

�I�ve seen you busy and I�ve seen you mad, there is more to
it. Come on share,� I smiled.

�It�s really nothing. I�m a little stressed,� she paused,
debating whether to continue. �Ok, lately the village elders have been fighting
and the situation here has been tense.�

�Is it a big problem?� I asked.

�Naruto, I have everything under
control. What you need to do is worry about the upcoming mission.�

Tsunade was right. We had
different problems, and right now, we had to worry about our own troubles. I
told her not to let it get to her. After that, no other words were needed, so I smiled, turned, and exited the office.

The door closed, and my body started to relax. �You look
like shit,� a familiar voice said. Turning towards the person, my eyes met dark
brown ones. Sasuke leaned against the wall. His arms
crisscrossed in front him.

�Sasuke, what are you still doing
here?� I asked, shocked by his appearance.

He moved away from the wall. �I wanted to talk to you,� he
said. Before I could comprehend what he wanted to talk about and if I really
wanted to hear it, he grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room, down the
stairs, and out the door. He let my arm go
and commanded, �This way.� He turned away from me and walked down the street.
As pompous as ever, I thought. He expected me to follow him like
a dog would follow its master.

We arrived at the empty training ground. �What do you want?� I asked. Inside my
heart beat faster, being alone with Sasuke made my
skin tingle. For years, I denied my attraction to him, telling myself I just
admired his skill, but my feelings only increased as time went by.

Sasuke lifted his hand up to push
falling hair off my face and immediately I flashed back to last night�s dream. Sasuke gently caressed my check. He
kissed me before trailing light kisses along my check, licking one scar with
his tongue. I forced myself back to reality and jumped back hitting my back
against the tree. �Dobe, Whats
wrong with you?� he asked.

�You surprised me,� I explained, pushing my hair back. Sasuke stared at me with an intense glare. I had seen that
look in his eyes before but couldn�t place its
meaning. I shook my head. �I�m tired,� I
said after a moment, trying to evade any conversation by turning towards the
village, but he placed his hand on my shoulder. My body shivered from his touch.

�Are you sick?� he asked.

I desperately wanted to end this conversation. Sasuke�s interest hurt; we could never have the type of
relationship I wanted or dreamed about every night. �I don�t get sick. I just
didn�t get enough sleep last night and my alarm didn�t go off,� smiling I
continued, �Sasuke, I�d be careful; If people heard
you, they might thing you cared.�

He snorted and looked disgusted. Another piece of my heart
broke, but I still smiled. �Dobe, we�re teammates and
if you�re not one-hundred percent then it becomes a problem for all of us, but
since your own stupidity caused you to be late, then you disappoint me and
maybe you�re not up to this mission.� He paused and a small part of me thought
he might care about my safety or well-being but his next words crushed that,
�we don�t need you to slow us down.� I don�t know why
it surprised me, but Sasuke�s concern wasn�t for me
but the mission. He always did have a one-track mine and usually it involved
work.

�You bastard,� I
said, turning to hit him, but Sasuke started to walk
away and I missed, breezing right past him. I tried to stop my body, but ended
up tripping over my feet, landing face down on the ground. I turned over and
looked up into his face. His body hovered above mine. I thought about the
dreams again. My eyes widened, remembering the intense feelings. Sasuke shook his head and walk away. I watch his retreating
back until it completely disappeared. Yep we can never be more than friends, I reminded myself and pushed up into a sitting
position, while still thinking about the bastard.

Before leaving on a mission, Iruka
invites me to a ramen dinner. I arrived first, but waited before ordering. When
I eat out it�s only at one place, Ichiraku. The cook there treats me with respect. He never
gives me the cold look the other villagers do, nor does he treat me with
contempt. The first time I met the old man, he went out of his way to be
friendly. Sometimes I wonder, if that�s the reason I
liked the stuff so much. To be honest, as a child, I longed for human
companionship. The old man saw me sitting on a step one day, invited me back
for a meal and I�ve been a regular ever since.

Iruka arrived five minutes after I
sat down. The moment I saw him I yelled, �Iruka, over
here.� He smiled and walked over. Over the years, Iruka
remained unchanged; he treats as a father would treat a son. �I waited to
order,� I informed him, grinning.

�Well then lets order,� he said,
smiling back. We placed our usually order. Iruka
talked about his day and the students at the academy. I loved to listen to his
voice as he told stories. The dinner pleasantly blocked out any other thoughts.
I was completely engulfed in the conversation, and didn�t
have to pretend to be happy, until Iruka said, �Naruto, Hokage tells me you�re having
strange dreams. What to talk about them?�

I nearly fell off the stool. My eyes widened, �I don�t think
so.� Why did they discuss that? Did they talk about me often? My thought
started to run wild. I thought back to what I said to Tsunade
and then the dreams started to replay in my mind.

�Naruto, you should clear your
mind especially before a mission.� He paused and looked down, �I thought you
could tell me anything.� Iruka looked a little hurt.

�I trust you, but,� what could I say? I trust you, but I�m
embarrassed or I�m afraid you�ll be disgusted by them, but that would be the
same as saying I didn�t trust him because I didn�t believe he would be there
for me no matter what.

Iruka stood up and paid for
dinner. �I�ll walk you home,� he said. I nodded, knowing the subject wasn�t over. We walked back to my place in silence. Maybe I
could tell Iruka, I thought. He could tell me I was
ok or help explain the dreams. A part of me would not accept these dreams as
being my mind�s way of telling me I was secretly in love with Sasuke, but deep down inside, I knew it was true.

We arrived at my door. �Iruka
would you like some tea?� I asked. He walked in and sat down. I looked through the
cabinets and discovered I didn�t have any tea or for
that matter anything at all to drink other than old milk.

�That�s ok Naruto. Come over here
so we can talk.�

�I�m sorry. I don�t keep extra stuff,� I started to explain.

�It�s fine,� he paused, looked me
over, smiled and then continued, �Lets talk.�

�About what?� I asked, trying to
evade the topic.
�How about what�s bothering you? I heard you�ve been having
trouble sleeping because of bad dreams.�

�The dreams aren�t bad just embarrassing, and they keep me
from sleeping. � He was waiting for me to continue. There was no way out of
this. If I didn�t tell Iruka,
he would be hurt and maybe our relationship would suffer. I shut my eyes and
took a deep breath before I softly spoke, �In these dreams, well, I�m kinda doing it with someone.�

My face turned red and I avoided looking at Iruka until he started to laugh. �I�m sorry, it�s just,
well, I was imaging horrible nightmares you didn�t want to share, but what you�re
dreaming about is normal and natural. I would be more concerned if you weren�t
thinking about it and dreaming about sex is ok.�

Normal and natural, he said. I thought back. Sasuke embraced me repeatedly at night while I slept. Then
I thought about how he treated me normally. The dreams would never come true.
Maybe I was a sadist and loved to torture myself because he would never love me
as he did in my imagination. I was a demon and an idiot and Sasuke
probably liked girls. I knew he couldn�t like me and
in that moment something snapped and I could feel tears sliding down my cheek.

Iruka stopped smiling. His eyes
widened. �Naruto, whats
wrong?� he asked. He stood up, walked over to me, and pulled me into a tight
hug. I pulled away, lifted my hand to wipe away the tears, and started to apologize,
but he spoke before I could get the words out, �Don�t apologize. Tell me why you
are crying.�

�I can�t.� Nevertheless, I knew he wouldn�t
accept that so I continued, �It�s just that I can never be with the person, and
I really like him.� I slammed my hand over my mouth. I said him. I didn�t want Iruka or anyone to
know my dream lover was a man. I felt sick from tension.

�Naruto, who you love, is who you
love. Male or female it doesn�t matter. I don�t hate
you or think any less of you because you like another man.� He pulled me into
his arms and patted my back. My body relaxed.

I pulled away and wiped the tears tracks again, making sure
no sign of them remained. �Thank you. I don�t know what came over me.� I said.

�You needed to get it out, that�s all, but why do you think
the situation is hopeless?�

�Oh Iruka, he hates me. He thinks
I�m beneath him.�

�I don�t think you give yourself enough credit.� He looked
at me and then asked, �It�s Sasuke?�

�How� but I stopped myself. He was only guessing, and I
pretty much gave it away.

�Don�t look surprised. I do know you.�

�But,� I was panicking. �Is it obvious?� I asked.

�Only to me, but Naruto I don�t
think you�re giving yourself enough credit. Maybe Sasuke
feels the same way you do.�

�That�s impossible to him I�m just a nuisance and
sometimes a liability. Besides even if he did, his greatest ambition is restarting
his clan, and that is something he can�t do with me.�

�I�m so sorry. But someday Naruto
you will find someone special because you�re an amazing person.� My cheeks
started to turn red, but he continued, �and if Sasuke can�t see that then he doesn�t deserve you.�

�I know. Thanks Iruka, I feel
better,� I said hugging him.

We said our goodbyes, and I started to feel better. Packing
occupied most of my thoughts before bed. I prayed to whatever god might be
listening to let me have a decent night sleep, and after getting everything out
in the open, I thought it would happen.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
AN: Thanks to those who reviewed.

Bookworm51485: Mostly the story will be
told in first person point of view. Maybe later I will write a chapter
from someone else�s perspective. It does have its limitation and I prefer to
write third person point of view stories but I wanted to try something
different. I am big SasuNaru fan and GaraNaru will be mild. I hope you continue to read and
review.

Starwind: Thanks for the review. I
will try to update every week.

Vampire: I�m glad you liked it and
I hope you like this chapter just as much.

Inui's Bastard Love Child: I will try to update each week.
Let me know what you think about this chapter.

Losthimagain: I�m
a SasuNaru fan so any GaraNaru
will be mild. Thanks for the review and keep reading.

Aimee: I hope this part was worth the wait. Let me know what
you think.

Kativachan: Keep reading and those
questions will be answered later.

Billy: Here�s the next chapter. Let
me know if you liked it.

Yayoi_sama:
All your questions will be answered, so keep reading
and let me know what you think.

BadAss1: Thanks for the review. I�m
writing and editing chapters as fast as I can, but I will try to update every
week.

Obsessed Sakura-chan: Keep reading
and you will find out and let me know what you think.

Yaoi Fan: Here�s
the next chapter. Let me know what you thought.

Yui: It�s
going to be a little while before your questions are answered but please
continue to read and you will know everything.

Angel: Don�t worry because once I
start something I finish it.

moonprincess90: It will be a few chapters until your
questions are answered, but they will be.

Nanomi: I hope you like the next
chapter too.
- 1
- 2
- 3
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Hidden Heartache