Break to Breathe | By : Okami-Rayne Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Shikamaru/Neji Views: 1958 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2 |
Disclaimer: NARUTO and its respective characters were created and are owned by Masashi Kishimoto. No copyright infringement intended. I make no money from this story. |
BREAK TO BREATHE
by Okami Rayne
Chapter Nineteen
[Dedicated to Dhampir Letalis]
4AM…
Shikamaru squeezed his eyes shut. Why is it always at 4AM…? There had to be a reason. The clues were buried somewhere in his head, like scattered Shogi pieces that needed to be realigned. Think dammit. "You got a headache?" Naruto's voice drew Shikamaru out from the catacombs of his mind, where most of his focus was firmly ensconced, despite appearing as if he were dozing without a care. He sat, half-reclining, against a tree, one leg drawn up and the other draped over tree roots. "Oi, genius," Naruto pressed. Shikamaru glanced up from under the drape of his hand. "What?" Naruto's sky-bright eyes narrowed into suspicious slits as he leaned forward, almost capsizing himself with the weight of the equipment strapped onto his back. He peered down at Shikamaru. "You've been rubbing your head like that for like…ten minutes." Shikamaru blinked slowly, lowering his hand from his brow as he adopted a safe non-expression. "Yeah, I'm just tired." "You're always tired, lazy ass." Naruto leaned in closer, face scrunched up with scrutiny as he tried to decipher something from Shikamaru's bored expression. "You were all spaced out like this before we left." "It's called thinking. Do you know what that is?" Naruto grinned at the playful jibe, undeterred. Shikamaru sighed as the energetic teen only leaned closer, redoubling the efforts of his inspection. "I still think you're sick or something." Naruto frowned, his amusement morphing into concern. "Kiba said you had a bad headache." "No." Shikamaru arched a brow. "But I'm gonna get one in a minute." "Seriously, Shikamaru, you okay?" Now 'Naruto' is getting perceptive? When did 'that' happen? Shikamaru sighed. He calmly raised his palm into the gap between their faces, stabbed a finger to Naruto's forehead and shoved hard enough to knock the other teen's balance. The Uzumaki backpedalled in a stagger to keep from landing on his ass. "Hey!" Naruto squawked, leaning backward and forward like a man teetering on the brink, trying to balance out the weight of the backpacks. "You trying to cripple me?" "Would it shut you up?" Shikamaru rolled his eyes, propping his arm across his raised knee. "You can put some of that stuff down, Naruto. We're gonna be here for another half hour." "Yeah, but it takes me about that long to strap all the crap back on again." "In that case, go lean on something." "Jerk," Naruto snorted, but he was grinning again. Shikamaru offered a smirk, folding an arm behind his head as he leaned back against the tree once more, tracking his gaze up to the late afternoon sky. He couldn't see the clouds through the canopies. Too bad... They still had time before they'd need to make a move; keeping pace with Neji's team was important. Even the smallest slips could accumulate into half-hour lapses they couldn't afford in unfamiliar territory. "Shikamaru-kun, are you still tired?" Lee chirped from above him, drawing Shikamaru's gaze directly up to the bough above his head. Lee sat squatted upside-down, gripping the bough like a crouched frog, his eyes wide and unblinking. Shikamaru tried not to make a half-amused, half-disconcerted expression. "Wouldn't mind catchin' a nap." Lee frowned, digesting these words with obvious distaste – or concern – which was probably worse. "You are not feeling very energetic." "I'm never feeling very energetic," Shikamaru pointed out. "It is a matter of will, Shikamaru-kun!" "I'm wilfully relaxed, thanks." "The youthful spirit cannot burn when weighted by fatigue!" Here it comes. Shikamaru pursed his lips, fully prepared to be on the receiving end of a 'youthful' lecture. Apparently unwilling to disappoint, Lee hopped down from his upside-down perch and landed in a crouch beside the lazing shadow-nin. "You should train with me and Gai-sensei. It is invigorating and will cure you of your fatigue!" "Will it involve being carried against my will?" Shikamaru muttered; Neji's smiling face immediately came to mind. Lee cocked his head. "Do you mean strength training?" "Yeah…sure…" Shikamaru closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the rough bark, trying to dislodge the Hyūga's face from his thoughts. "You, Tenten and Neji still train together?" "Not as much as we used to, since Neji made Jōnin." Shikamaru cracked an eye open, glancing across at the green-clad ninja as Lee tackled a round of push-ups, alternating between one hand and two. "Yeah, he really went for the gold…" Shikamaru remarked quietly, idly counting the push ups. "I'd expect no less from my rival!" Lee beamed, switching hands. "Neji is destined for greatness." Shikamaru closed his eyes again, mulling over the various philosophical fractures in that statement. He wondered what Neji would think of it, given how volatile the issue of 'destiny' had once been for him. "You don't think he'll stop at Jōnin?" Lee shook his head. "It is not his final goal." "Oh yeah?" Shikamaru asked before he could stop himself, lifting his lashes but appearing relaxed. "What's his final goal?" Lee swivelled around into sit ups, not even breaking a sweat. "I do not know! But whatever it is, it is beyond Jōnin." Shikamaru made no attempt to hide his nonplussed expression. "You really don't know?" "I do not," Lee chuckled. "We can only guess when it comes to one like Neji." One like Neji… Shikamaru suddenly wondered just what kind of rival-stroke-icon spotlight Lee had shoved the Hyūga under. It would explain the speed at which Lee had forgiven Neji for laying him out flat those months ago. On the tail-end of that thought came one far more pressing. Why the Hyūga had done it in the first place. I'd written it off as cracking under emotional pressure…but that's not filling in my gaps here…there's gotta be a source…a reason… Shikamaru glanced sidelong at Lee, strongly considering his options. Might as well ask…not like this is gonna get clearer by itself...ugh...troublesome… He'd have to play this carefully. "Jōnin is a first class rank, so how do you know he has a final goal beyond that?" "Because," Lee flashed a smile, "he once said that making Jōnin was not his final goal." Shikamaru rested his head back again, trailing his gaze to the canopies. "Think he's aiming for ANBU?" "I cannot say for sure, Shikamaru-kun. He does not divulge much." "Keeps it close to his chest, huh?" Shikamaru asked around a yawn, slowly starting to nudge the conversation in a different direction. "But you still get to work as an old Team now and then, right?" Lee nodded, hopping onto his feet to launch into a set of squats that would probably end up numbering in the hundreds. "Now and again, but Neji has taken up many solo missions lately." Seeing an opening, Shikamaru went for it. "Why's that?" Lee paused mid-squat, folding his hands behind his head before continuing. "I think he is trying to get stronger. I cannot say. Nothing Neji does is without cause." Yeah, like setting you on your ass when you did nothing wrong… Shikamaru pursed his lips, flipping between options on the best way to approach this matter. He had so many sides to cover. The last thing he wanted to do was sow any seeds in Lee's mind that something was wrong. He'd also explained away Neji's behaviour that night as being part of an impromptu diversionary tactic. 'Something' started all this…that night…something set him off…Lee and Naruto were talking about sappy crap…shit…think, dammit… Shikamaru closed his eyes, trying to cast his mind back to the rainy night when this troublesome mess had all started. Flashback facts flipped to the forefront of his mind. Tenten, Lee, Naruto, Neji and himself…Neji had been distracted…distant…more so than usual…maybe even a little irritable, but it had been hard to tell behind all those damn defences...They'd been tracking the Akatsuki imposter…in the crappy rain…and Naruto and Lee had been talking about… Kakashi and Gai… Shikamaru hadn't really been listening at the time; he'd been more pissed off about the rain and the effect the fading light would have on his jutsu. But despite this, he recalled that Naruto and Lee had gone a verbal round of defending and promoting their respective sensei's…some crap about which mighty rival could piss the furthest. But then their loyally battled dispute had turned into something more sentimental. That's right…Naruto mentioned Iruka… Then they'd started talking about mentors…their childhoods…and inspiring pep-talks from guardians that had set them straight when they'd wanted to give up. Then Neji had flipped. Ok. So he reacted…thought comes before emotion…emotion is always triggered by something…even subconscious… Shikamaru reached up to rub his brow, not realising that Hinata was quietly approaching, too lost on the weaving trails his thoughts were taking him down. Which means…though he reacted, it wasn't just to the sappy crap…Naruto's always talking like that…so it was the topic…mentors…guardians…this has 'got' to be linked to his clan… "Shikamaru-kun?" Shikamaru jolted, his heart lunging into his throat when he became aware of someone beside him that wasn't Lee. Hinata looked mortified at having startled him. Naruto burst out laughing. "Sweet! Do it again!" Shikamaru recovered with a lazy roll of his eyes, clearing his throat as he waited for his pulse to settle. "Well, you're sneakier than your cousin, Hinata." Hinata shook her head. "I'm sorry, I…I didn't mean to sneak up on you." Shikamaru waved it off, closing his eyes again. Shit. Hyūga's are giving me heart attacks left, right and centre… He heard Naruto snicker as the Uzumaki turned a circle to shift the weight of the packs he still refused to offload. "Shouldn't we get goin' soon?" "Yeah, in a bit." Shikamaru felt Hinata hovering; he knew what that meant. So he slipped his eyes open and turned his head. "Lee, if you take as long as Naruto to get ready, you might want to start gathering the stuff. We're gonna head out." "Roger!" Lee nimbly flipped to his feet, springing toward the heap of backpacks with an eagerness that suggested he was after hot cakes rather than a weight load of cargo. Shikamaru shook his head, yet couldn't help but be amused. Despite the somewhat grating aura of enthusiasm surrounding Lee and Naruto, their hearts were never in the wrong place, which made it difficult to find any real irritation in their presence other than finding ways to put their abundant energy to use, or avoid it. Right. Shikamaru looked back to Hinata, arching a brow in query. "What's on your mind?" Hinata glanced away, looking a little guilty. Shikamaru didn't like the feeling of unease that left him with. Shit. Before he could ask again, Hinata touched her fingers to her temples. "I heard Kiba telling Naruto you had…a headache." "What?" Shikamaru tried not to smile, but the amusement touched his voice. "You think I'm sick too?" Hinata looked confused, shaking her head. "No, I…I just wanted to apologise…" "For my headache?" Shikamaru smiled. "For pushing things…when I asked about how I could help." Shikamaru stopped smiling, offering a hum before responding. "Forget about it. I understand where you're coming from. You're concerned. It's okay." As if absolved, Hinata's face brightened a little, her lavender eyes lifting. "Thank you…for everything you're doing." Shikamaru glanced away. Hinata's gratitude caused that niggling discomfort to crawl around in his stomach, forcing him to physically shift position, sitting up a little straighter from his slouch. "Look, like I said before…don't thank me yet…" Hinata accepted this quietly, nodding and folding her hands in her lap, fidgeting with her fingers as she glanced over toward Naruto and Lee. The two of them raced each other back and forth in some spur-of-the-moment competition, mountainous backpacks swaying precariously. Shikamaru followed her gaze, hesitating a moment. "You said you wanted to help…" Hinata instantly snapped her focus back, her hands stilling. "Yes." "Then tell me a little more about the situation between the Branch House and the Main House." Hinata blinked. "What do you want to know?" "Is it still as extreme?" Hinata lowered her eyes, a moment of conflicted reflection that made Shikamaru wish he'd rephrased his question. But when she answered she lifted her head, sounding more thoughtful than upset. "Relationships have um…well they've become better…" Shikamaru shot her a sidelong glance. "Wanna elaborate?" "When father began to train Neji-niisan three years ago…things got better. It's always a little difficult…with the elders…but father…he tries." Shikamaru brushed his fingers along his jaw, rubbing idly as he tried to think of a way to phrase his next question without sounding accusatory. Deciding it was better to keep things straightforward he shrugged off his hesitation and simply asked. "Would your father have done anything recently, well, at least two to three months back to make Neji want to avoid him?" Hinata stared quietly for a moment before she shook her head. "I don't know." Shikamaru blinked slowly, looking across at her. He read a concerned sadness in her eyes, which didn't make him feel any better about asking his next question. "Is there a chance your father would use that curse seal on him?" "W-what?" Hinata's eyes widened and a wild flurry of emotion chased across the pale orbs, so expressive and open. So unlike Neji's. "Is there?" Shikamaru asked again, softer this time. Hinata's lips thinned, a small frown tugging at her brows as her usually meek posture tightened. But as Shikamaru watched the shift, it wasn't insulted anger that he glimpsed. Not that it was any easier to be faced with the conflicted look she set on him, torn between loyalties and divisions she shouldn't have been stuck in the middle of. "I…I don't know…" she finally whispered, her voice dropping so low Shikamaru had to tilt toward her to hear it. "I wish I could…I wish I could say no…I want to say no." "So there's a possibility?" "Father wouldn't…he wouldn't want to hurt Neji." "Yeah well, we don't always act on good conscience." Hinata shook her head, her eyes lowering to her lap. "He wouldn't do that to Neji. There's…there's no reason…" That we know of… Shikamaru flicked his eyes to Naruto and Lee, trying to estimate how many questions he could squeeze into this limited time. Talk fast. "Remember when you first told me Neji had been avoiding you and his clan?" Hinata nodded. "Yes." "You said your father had been worried. You also said that it was 'different' this time to him just keeping to himself." Hinata hummed. "Neji was taking on more missions…solitary missions…and avoiding home." "And he started doing this before he blocked those chakra points, right?" "Yes." Shikamaru frowned, slotting the pieces together. The night Neji had 'flipped' he'd had that panic attack in the woods. Only it wasn't just a panic attack… Shikamaru frowned. At the time, he'd checked Neji's breathing while he'd been unconscious. He hadn't seen any bruises on the Hyūga's chest at that point. Which means that the coughing up blood started later because the effects hadn't taken root yet… Sloughing out a sigh, Shikamaru pinched the bridge of his nose, dragging his thumb along his eyebrow. "So I'm working on the assumption that something happened around three months back that set him off course from your family…which later caused him to think it was real smart to block his tenketsu, right?" "I…I don't know…it just doesn't make sense." No kidding… Shikamaru dropped his hand, too tired to be frustrated, but his voice carried a touch of exasperation. "Hinata, you need to think back, it's important." "I'm trying…" She shook her head, her voice a little strained, her distress becoming clearer as she searched for answers. "But he's always kept so…detached…I'm sorry…I should have tried harder to make things change." "Hinata…" Her breath began to flutter softly before she sniffed, her fingers curling into small fists on her lap. "I should have…always tried harder." Alarm bells blared in Shikamaru's head, the kind that sent a signal to quickly calm her down before she drew attention to them. "Hinata, first off, quit apologising," he dropped his voice to a softer, calmer timbre, offering a weak quirk of his lips when she met his gaze. "If it wasn't for you, things would be a whole lot worse right now. Okay?" Hinata looked away, nodding with a soft hum. "Okay…" "Alright…I'm sorry this is so close to home for you, but I need to know how the hell this all began before we can end it." "But I…I don't know why he avoided home…or why he blocked the tenketsu…" she cut off, swallowing a knot of emotion that was beginning to push moisture into her eyes. "Do you...do you really think that my father used that seal...that he…?" Her eyes widened, dark lashes blinking furiously. Shit. More alarm bells rang in Shikamaru's head, his dark eyes widening as he watched her face begin to crumple. Oh shit. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. "Hinata," Shikamaru twisted around to face her, trying to catch her gaze. "I know this is hard. I'm sorry to put you in this crappy position, but if you and the Hokage want me to pull down the walls in his system…I need to know what the hell is on the other side of them when they crash, okay?" Hinata closed her eyes, pressing her lips tightly as she pulled back her frustrated tears, her voice barely a whisper. "How are you…going to do that…?" "Find out?" Shikamaru tried to smile. "By asking troublesome questions I guess." "No, I…I mean how are you…going to p-pull the walls down?" You don't want to know… He didn't even want to think about that. Or what it had started to do to his gut every time he did think about it. Shit. "I told you…" Shikamaru shrugged and trailed his gaze way. "There are some things you can't know beforehand." Hinata didn't press him this time. She'd obviously made peace with that understanding, or more accurately, that arrangement. Shikamaru hoped she wouldn't have to understand it, just accept it. It was personal enough for her as it was. It's not personal for me… Which didn't explain that knife-like twinge in his gut. Something he'd have to learn to ignore…repeatedly ignore... Starting now…right now. Shikamaru closed his eyes, pushing out a short, tight breath before opening his eyes again. He watched Naruto and Lee for a moment. "One more question." Hinata hummed, lifting her head. "Yes?" "Does 4AM mean anything to you?" He honestly didn't expect her to have an answer, which made it easier to offer a weak smile when she shot him a quizzical look. He shook it off with a lazy wave. "Yeah, me neither." "Shikamaru! We movin' out or what?" Naruto barked from across the short distance, ceasing his horsing-around long enough to jam his hands at his hips, tilting forward and puffing as if winded. "This is gonna kill my back!" "I will take the extra weight, Naruto-kun!" Lee stumbled over, jerking a thumb toward the packs strapped to his own back. "I will show Gai sensei that I too can carry a comrade in need!" "Better get goin' before Naruto takes him up on the offer," Shikamaru muttered to Hinata, reaching for his backpack. The kunoichi hummed softly, rising to her feet as Shikamaru straightened up with a yawn, curving an arm back behind his head to grip his nape, digging his fingers in a little harder than necessary to distract from the twinge in his gut. He could feel Hinata's eyes on him, placid but perceptive. Throwing family accusations around…this can't be easier for her either… Without looking at her, Shikamaru touched his free hand to the Hyūga's shoulder, squeezing gently, at odds with the grip he had on his own nape. It was a meagre attempt to reassure her, but it was all he could really do at this point. Which isn't a whole damn lot… He pretended to use the touch to steer her away from the tree back towards the other two shinobi. He dropped his hand as they approached, shaking his head as his attention shifted to Naruto's current antic. Troublesome. Shikamaru resisted the urge to plant his face in his palm. He arched a brow. "Naruto. Not happening." "Eh?" Naruto froze half-way in his attempt to scale the equipment strapped onto Lee's back, half hanging off as the weight of his own backpack began to tug in gravity's favour, threatening to topple them both. "Seriously, don't even think about it," Shikamaru warned, his eyes narrowing to an exasperated and unimpressed look. Lee tried to grin through grit teeth, clearly struggling. "But I—" "Even if you could carry Naruto, we don't have time to mess about." "Yeah, whatever," Naruto muttered, trying to slide back down without injuring himself or Lee. "Why don't you carry some of this crap?" "I'm sick, remember?" Shikamaru smirked. "I have a headache." Instant karma struck him a second later. The teeth-gnashing shriek of his transmitter exploded in his ear, stabbing his temples. "Shit!" Shikamaru jerked as if stung, cupping his hand to his ear with a hiss. Naruto snickered. "You totally deserved that." "Ugh, I hate these things…" Shikamaru scowled, fiddling with the volume, pausing when a voice crackled through. "Shi…maru…" Shikamaru's eyes widened at the strain in that voice. "Chōji?" The backup team froze in unison. Their focus zeroed in on the transmitter. A tense silence ripped the amusement from Naruto's face. Lee stood poised as if ready to run and Hinata shifted anxiously by his side, looking from Shikamaru's locked expression to the transmitter. "Chōji?" Shikamaru touched two fingers to his mic. "You hear me?" Nothing. "Crap," he growled, glancing at Hinata. "Hinata." The kunoichi nodded and made a quick hand sign, activating her Byakugan, closing the distance between the teams with her vision. "What's goin' on?" Naruto breathed out, his voice rough. "Shikamaru?" Shikamaru held up a hand sharply, cutting Naruto off. His attention narrowed to the crackle of static from the mic. "Chōji? Neji? Someone talk to me dammit." Hinata's sharp gasp was the answer he didn't want. Shit. Shikamaru glanced at her, already turning on his heel. "How bad?" "I..." Hinata squinted, still focused on her scanning. "Explain as we move," Shikamaru said. "Naruto, Lee, drop the cargo. We don't have time." Calm down. It's gonna be fine. "It's an ambush." "What?" Shikamaru turned in a pivot, slamming the weight of his disbelief into his next words. "How the hell did that happen? That's not possible. Neji would have seen that a mile off." Hinata shook her head. "He didn't." There's just no way he'd miss that…how…? Shikamaru allowed himself five seconds to digest the shock. Then he acted. "Dammit." He rolled on his heel to break into a run, directing Hinata to lead with a swing of his arm. "Take the lead, keep me updated! Naruto, get those clones ready!" "Got it!" Naruto growled, nodding as he flanked the shadow-nin. Shikamaru turned his head. "Lee, take the trees! Defence before offence until we gauge the scale of this fight. Naruto's clones will back you up if you need it. These bastards use the trees." "Leave it to me!" Lee sprang up, kicking off boughs to scale higher. Shikamaru dropped his focus back to the length of swinging hair as Hinata dashed just ahead of them, weaving and cutting through the forest like a breeze, quiet and swift, unlike the blond-haired hurricane moving at his side. "Naruto, don't use Rasengan." "What! Why?" "Not until we know who we're fighting!" "But—" "I mean it!" Shikamaru growled, cutting Naruto off with his look as much as his words. "We can't afford to screw up here. Don't use it. Hinata, how many are we looking at?" "Over twenty!" the kunoichi called over her shoulder. How the HELL did Neji miss that? "How the hell did Neji miss that!" Naruto snapped, voicing Shikamaru's growing sense of unease. "He's supposed t' see this crap!" Shikamaru didn't have an answer; he was already calculating when a voice exploded through the mic, scraping across his nerve-endings in a rasp, leaving him cold. "ROTATION!" Shikamaru blanched, reaching for his mic. "Neji! Don't!" Naruto turned his head sharply, eyes flashing. "What the hell, Shikamaru! Do you want us to fight these guys or let 'em kick our asses!" Shikamaru cursed, trying to form a plan, follow Hinata, ignore Naruto's glare and adjust the transmitter signal all at the same time. He can't use the Palm Rotation…not in this state…! A flurry of panic played beneath the calculating calm he forced his head into. "Neji!" he called again. "Damn you! Answer me, Hyūga!" "Below…" Relief punched a gush of air from Shikamaru's lungs at the fractured response. "Neji!" "The…ground… " Shikamaru cursed at the sound of the cough the Jōnin hacked out, bursting along the transmission in a rattle. "Neji?" "The…ground…" "Neji, what the hell are you saying!" "They're coming…ugh…from the ground…" Before Shikamaru could process the situation, Hinata jerked to a halt with a startled gasp and looked to the sky, surprise brightening her Byakugan eyes. "W-what?" Shikamaru and Naruto skidded to a stop and followed her gaze up. Their eyes flew wide. Naruto cocked his head. "W-what the hell is that?" Shikamaru fell back a step, his jaw locking in a growl. Shit…
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