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mischief's cracktastic shorts	By : mischiefmaker Category: Naruto > General Views: 1059 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
A/N: Sadly (or
not depending on who you ask, I suppose) Shino does not get sexed up for his
birthday. This is a clean story of men not
bonding. XD
Pairings: none
Warnings:
language

--

"Happy Birthday, man," Naruto smiles, giving him a slap on the back before
motioning to the bartender for another round. "Sorry for not
getting you a stripper or anything. Sai volunteered,
but I wasn't sure if that was your thing. He's probably still home if you want
me to uh..." He gestures toward the door with his thumb, and behind dark
glasses Shino rolls his eyes dramatically.

"This is fine, Naruto. Thank you."

"Ahhh,
okay, man." He smiles again as if he's been given the answer to
some great secret and starts glancing around the pub. Shino's fully aware of
what his host is up to, but he was not raised to be rude. He'll endure it - for
a brief amount of time - before thanking him once again and heading home. He
doesn't have to wait long before his friend finds his mark.

Naruto leans a little closer and whispers (which is
completely unnecessary; the place isn't exactly quiet,) "Third table from
the door. Red shirt."

With a sigh, he turns toward his companion and glances out of the corner of his
eye toward the target. He's completely unsurprised to find a drunken floozy with
smeared lipstick eyeing him up.

"Sure thing," Naruto whispers with a grin,
and Shino can do nothing but glare. It probably would have more effect without
the sunglasses. Maybe. "No? How
'bout the brunette at the end of the bar?"

He doesn't even look; he simply forces a smile and says, "You're all the
companionship I need tonight, Naruto-kun."

It's so very, very hard not to laugh at the sight of Naruto's
blue eyes bugging out uncomfortably, but he is a master of self-control and, of
course, triumphs. Besides, his reputation would be thoroughly shot to hell
otherwise.

The blond is quiet for a few minutes, doing little more than drinking quickly
and stealing awkward glances at him.

Shino thinks it's just about time for this little party to end, when Naruto suddenly punches him in the shoulder.

"Stop messin' with me, man! I think the only
time I've seen you look creepier was when we went on that mission and you
couldn't stop laughing! Oh! Oh, man! That was some crazy shit."

Naruto guffaws, and Shino
seethes. He swore, fucking swore on his balls, that he'd never
mention that again! Well, it's about time for him to pay up, he thinks.

Shino slowly pulls out a kunai and, examining his reflection in it, utters
clearly and concisely so there is no misunderstanding, "You broke our
agreement, so now I'm going to take your balls." He turns to look at Naruto then, who is wide-eyed and looking completely
freaked the hell out.

"What the...?"

"Shall we do it right here on the bar? Or would you rather go to the men's
room?"

Naruto doesn't answer, but Shino does hear him gripe
all the way to the street about 'assholes worse than Sasuke'
and 'never taking him out for his birthday again.'

It's the best birthday promise Shino's received in a long time. He smiles and
finishes his drink blissfully companion-free.
- 18
- 19
- 20
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mischief's cracktastic shorts