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Searching for Something	By : jellybelle21 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1063 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
Neji was forced to recount his story to Tsunade the next day, and then listen to Gaara’s story again. His uncle was there, impassive and attempting to look like all of this was news to him, Neji was sure. He had requested from Gaara that they not explain exactly what Kuroshi had done to him, because the thought of everyone knowing made Neji want to be sick. He could see that Tsunade had suspicions of what exactly he meant when he said “taking liberties,” and the fact that they would not explain this clearly only solidified her suspicions, but she respected their choice.

“Well, Hiashi, this all must be very interesting to you, considering you were sure that Neji was on a spiritual retreat.” Tsunade turned a measuring look on the older man once both Neji and Gaara had finished.

There was a long silence, and finally, the head of the Hyuuga family sighed heavily. “Solitude is meant to be a place of reflection, and I thought once you were used to being there, we would not even need to restrain you. I told them to keep you there, but not to hurt you in any way. It wasn’t meant to be a punishment.”

“Why not just tell me to think about it?” Neji demanded. “Instead of kidnapping me, hog-tying me, and sealing me so that any bastard with a grudge could just…”

“Kuroshi was out of line.” Hiashi frowned. “I do not know why you won’t explain exactly what he did to you, but I take that as an indication that whatever it was had to be atrocious. In truth, I thought that if you went missing, Gaara-sama would forget you, and you, in turn, would turn away from him.”

“Why do you oppose your nephew so strongly in this?” Tsunade wanted to know. “Do you think it’s your place to control every action of every member of your house?”

“No,” Hiashi shook his head. “But it was my brother’s wish that you overcome your destiny and be a main family member, instead of branch house. His heart would be broken to see you turn away from the entire house like this.”

“My father’s wish was that I learn that I can overcome my destiny and choose my own fate.” Neji corrected his uncle. “He did not control my fate any more than you should, and he wouldn’t have tried to.”

“The house…we were looking forward to raising your children. I was going to try to get permission to bring at least one of them into the main house, in your father’s memory. If you follow this fate, you’ll never…” Hiashi shook his head and fell silent.

“You say you want him to be happy, to choose his fate.” Gaara spoke up, and Neji was impressed that he was able to talk to this man without using death threats. “But when he chooses to live beside me, you fight him, and make your words into a lie.”

“I think Hiashi sees you as his brother, at times.” Tsunade spoke up again. “And the thought of losing you feels like that pain all over again.”

“I’m not dying,” Neji told the older man in a sharp tone. “Even if you wanted to see my children, you should know that no matter who the parents are, the children can be of any strength. By having a branch family, you lose the chance to have many powerful byakugan users, and you create discontent. Do you want our family to become like the Uchiha clan?”

“That would…never…” Hiashi shook his head sharply.

“It could happen,” Tsunade agreed. “When you subjugate a group of people, they will eventually rise up. You might want to think of that. What I don’t understand is why you didn’t simply control Neji using his curse seal?”

“I wanted him to make the decision on his own, as much as possible.” Hiashi admitted. “And I do not want to see him damaged that way. He is a great genius of our clan, and the loss would be unbearable. That is why I told them not to hurt him in any way. I apologize for any damage he suffered, that was never my intention.”

“Now then,” Tsunade folded her hands. “Do you wish to pursue the matter of Kuroshi’s death? Gaara readily admits to responsibility.” Neji held his breath. His uncle would be well within his rights to demand compensation, and if he demanded Gaara’s life…his demand might be refused, sending the villages to war.

“No.” Hiashi finally answered. “If he was attacking Neji, I myself would have killed him, even if he is main family and Neji is branch.”

“I see you have come to care for your nephew a great deal.” Tsunade smiled slightly. “You are used to everyone obeying you, and I am sure you did not know how to react when Neji presented this to you. For him to leave Konoha would be a loss to the Hyuuga family, but what you failed to see was that by keeping him here, caging him in, you would be shunting aside your brother’s wishes, and you would lose Neji’s loyalty and respect. I advise that you think things through in the future.”

“Yes, Hokage-sama.” Hiashi stood slowly, and Neji could see the shame and regret on his face, but he found it was nearly impossible not to be angry at this man, no matter how sorry he might be. He bowed slightly to both Kages, then gave Neji a deep bow that reminded him of the apology he had once received after being defeated by Naruto. He felt a slight wrenching in him, and wondered if, given time, he might stop being so angry at his uncle for what had been done to him. When he left, Neji and Gaara turned back to Tsunade expectantly, and she stared at Neji with piercing eyes.

“Neji, I can see that he did something shameful to you, I’m sure.” She began, and he knew she was referring to the mysterious attack from Kuroshi that they refused to speak about. “But if you’re hurt, you need to tell me so that you can be healed properly.”

“Gaara came before he could hurt me.” Neji told her stolidly, and she met his eyes, trying to make him give in. Eventually she sighed and muttered something about stubborn ninja who thought they knew better than everyone else.

“Fine.” She told them. “We’re very lucky your uncle did not demand compensation for his death. If you refuse to explain—“

“It’s no one’s business but our own.” Gaara’s tone was sharp, and she blinked at him in surprise.

“I assume you want to request permission to relocate to Sunagakure?” she addressed Neji again, and he nodded. “Very well, I will present your case to the council. Don’t worry,” she smiled when he immediately looked worried. “They’ll probably just see it as a chance to strengthen the alliance between our villages. They may be old, but they aren’t as closed-minded as you might expect.”

“Thank you.” Neji breathed, and Gaara stood.

“Can we go now?” the redhead demanded, and she laughed slightly.

“Yes, go ahead. And Gaara, thank you for taking care of him.” She offered, and he looked at her as if she was saying something completely ridiculous. As they left, her smiled deepened. She was happy for them. She had never made any accommodations for love, thinking it might make her weak, and now it was too late for that, but it was obvious from looking around her, it only made people stronger. Hinata had stood up to her father, Sasuke had cast aside any imagined obligations, and Neji had completely gone against Hiashi’s wishes.

I hope the council agrees, I can see he’ll go with Gaara with or without permission from anyone.

----------

After recounting his story to Tsunade, Neji found his friends all wanted to see him, to be sure he was all right. He was not sure whether he found this flattering or annoying, but after three days, they were preparing to leave. Hinata and Kiba had brought him everything he needed from his home, and the council had given their consent, much to Neji’s relief. He didn’t really want to become a missing-nin, but he had been prepared to make that choice. He tried not to think of what had happened to him, and found that this was easiest when he was lying with Gaara, both of them gazing at each other, touching each other, kissing each other. It was enough to wash away everything bad.

“I love you,” Gaara ran his fingers through Neji’s short hair, rubbing at his scalp. It hadn’t taken Neji long to see why Gaara enjoyed this so much, and he sighed happily.

“I wonder how long it will take to grow back,” Neji absently spoke his thoughts.

“I told you it doesn’t matter to me.” Gaara assured him, and Neji smiled, opening his eyes.

“I’m still growing it out. I liked it long, and I know you did too, even if you say you don’t care.” Neji kissed his chin and Gaara tilted it up to display his throat, as if asking for attention to be placed there. Neji was happy to oblige, his lips pressing against Gaara’s pulse point, then moving down along the line of the pale column as Gaara made a soft noise of satisfaction.

“Let’s stay here all day.” Gaara suggested just as Temari knocked on the door and called out his name.

“I guess not.” Neji smiled and kissed Gaara’s lips softly. “Don’t worry, I’ll be here when you come back.”

“Damn Temari.” Gaara was putting his clothes on as Neji watched from where he was sitting up on the bed, his chest exposed but his waist wrapped in a sheet.

“Gaara! Hurry up!” Temari’s voice insisted. “And tell Neji to get dressed, too!”

“What?” Neji scowled, even as he got up. “Your sister’s bossing me around.”

“I like her ideas, this means I won’t be so bored today.” Gaara smiled at Neji, who grumbled and got dressed. When they were both ready, they joined Temari and Kankurou out in the hallway.

“Good!” Temari clapped her hands together. “Neji, we have a few things on the agenda today since it’s our last day in Konoha, but I think that now that you’ve had time to rest, it’s best you take part as well.”

“Why?” Neji frowned and she smiled at him.

“Well, other than the fact that Gaara will pay better attention,” she began, “I know that you have a lot of political savvy. He’s mentioned that you give him advice sometimes, and I figured that you might want…you know, something to do with your time once you were back in the Sand, and I think you’d be an excellent advisor. Smarter than Kankurou, that’s for sure.”

“Hey!” Kankurou scowled, but she ignored him completely.

“Isn’t it Gaara’s choice?” Neji asked, and the redhead shrugged.

“Temari’s right, you would be good.” Gaara agreed with his sister. “If you want to.”

“Well…sure.” Neji was surprised. He didn’t think that Gaara’s siblings liked or respected him at all, but now that he thought about it, when he’d been captured, they’d been there right behind him, and Temari had looked worried.

“Great!” Temari smiled brightly, and Neji had the eerie feeling that she was about as used to resistance as Hiashi. On the plus side, it seemed clear that she cared a great deal about Gaara, and wouldn’t do anything to upset him. But still, Neji didn’t want to cross her. “So first thing, we’re going to have breakfast and discuss the last few details of the exchange program with Tsunade-sama and the council.”

“We’re still doing that?” Neji asked as they all started walking down the hallway.

“Even if it was originally a ruse,” Temari told him pointedly, “it was still a rather brilliant idea. It will really help the relationship between our countries.”

“Of course you think it’s brilliant.” Kankurou pointed out. “It was your idea.”

“Don’t be jealous, Kankurou.” She told him loftily. “Just because the best idea you’ve ever had was to hide your ugly face with even uglier make-up.”

“It’s war paint, Temari! It’s traditional to—“

“You two, it’s early.” Gaara cut into the developing argument swiftly and effortlessly, and just as soon as it had started, they both fell silent. Neji couldn’t resist reaching out to slip his fingers through the other man’s, and though Gaara didn’t look over, he squeezed the hand before releasing it so they could all sit down to breakfast with Tsunade and the council.

Neji expected weird looks. He expected for everyone to question his presence there, but no one did. He supposed that his age couldn’t be a problem, since he was older than the Kazekage, and about the same age as his siblings. They all knew who he was, and they knew his relationship to Gaara, but there weren’t any snide comments.

When he spoke, they listened to him respectfully and asked questions that showed they were all taking him seriously and felt that his opinion was important. It felt…good. He decided that he would like being an advisor. Having his words really mean something, instead of needing someone else’s permission all the time…

This is freedom. Right now, I’m free. I’ve escaped from everything that held me back.

He could remember his uncle saying that Gaara would lock him away, put him in a cage he could never escape, and glancing at the man sitting beside him, he knew that was not true. Gaara would always want him by his side, but he would never force him to stay, never hold him back from anything.

Maybe the power of being an advisor is going to my head. But maybe…I’m starting to see that I’ve completely escaped my fate, I’ve made myself into something unexpected, and I like it.

He knew there was still a curse seal on him, and there always would be. But he also knew that he would no longer fear its power, or the control it symbolized. Gaara had not asked about it again since their confrontation with Hiashi, but he had a feeling that he already knew.

They both had marks there. Gaara had the tattoo he had given himself, to show he was cursed never to be loved by anyone but himself, and Neji had often felt the same way about his own seal, but now he knew that in the end, the curse seal could only do so much to a person. It couldn’t decide everything about their fate, and if they were strong enough, they could escape the threat it posed.

Neji saw a bird fly past the window, up into the sky, and he couldn’t help smiling.

I’m free.

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To be Continued…
- 17
- 18
- 19
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