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Crossing Boundaries for You	By : Sasunarufan13 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Naruto/Sasuke Views: 12499 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto nor make profit of it. Kishimoto owns it.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
Author's note: This chapter gave me a ridiculous amount of trouble. It took me more than a week to finish whereas the previous ones only took me around a couple of days. I'm still not completely happy with it, but well ... I hope it isn't too bad!
Warnings: Eh, angst mostly
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto owns it.
I hope you'll like it!
Chapter 17
Their breath mingled together, little puffs escaping parted lips, and Naruto vaguely registered the fact that Sasuke's warm breath was tinted with a hint of coffee. One of his hands rose up and rested on his friend's shoulder, feeling strong muscles flex underneath his touch.
His heart was doing summersaults in his chest and he knew he should pull back, retreat, before whatever this was went any further, but …
He couldn't. He didn't want to. He was caught underneath some kind of spell and his body refused to budge. His breathing sped up slightly – from excitement or fear? He didn't know – when silky, dark hair brushed against his cheek as Sasuke closed the remaining distance between them.
They were almost …
There.
Their mouths grazed each other and sparks ignited and his heart threatened to completely burst out of his chest now. Heat spread out from his lips to the rest of his body, filling him with a scorching warmth, setting all his nerves on fire.
This was what he had been dreaming of for years, what he had been imagining during those nights when he had allowed himself to think about Sasuke in bed, forcing himself to forge past the guilt for just one moment. What he had been fantasising about for a long time and became distracted by every time he focused on Sasuke talking and watched his lips move.
This was … This was …
The pressure deepened, his breathing hitched, and he –
"MEEEEOOOOOWWWW!"
Loud yowling erupted right outside the kitchen window and Sasuke lurched back, dark eyes widening in shock before they darted over towards the window where two cats were fighting viciously.
As Sasuke marched over to the door and yanked it open to shoo the cats away, Naruto sat frozen in the chair, replaying the past few minutes over and over again in his head.
Shit. What had he done?
What the fuck had they just done? Had they really just … Here in the kitchen where Sakura … They had actually …
He was going to be sick.
The door slammed shut again, but Naruto refused to look up, keeping his eyes trained on the floor and he felt hot all over – not the pleasant heat he had been experiencing just now, no.
Instead, it was the vile heat of utter and complete shame and guilt.
A heavy, awkward silence, unlike any before between them, descended over the two men; neither one of them willing to break it first, to address what the hell had just happened between them.
What the fuck could Naruto even say? What did one say after kissing their married best friend?
Married.
Naruto closed his eyes and bit down harshly on his lip. The word bounced around in his mind, taunting and reproachful, and it made him feel worse than before. Something he hadn't thought was possible. But he deserved it. He deserved feeling like shit for kissing the other man. What had he been thinking? How could they have done this? How could he have done this to his –
A phone beeped twice and they stirred; Naruto watching listlessly how Sasuke scrambled to retrieve his phone of the kitchen counter. Sasuke cursed at whatever he had read in the message and for one heart stopping moment Naruto feared the message was from Sakura.
"Jugo says I'm needed at the office," he muttered and a dark look crossed his face. "What the fuck did Suigetsu do now?"
Any other moment and Naruto would have gleefully pointed out that clearly Sasuke couldn't trust his office to run smoothly without him for a few hours, but he didn't dare to open his mouth now. Every word got stuck in his throat; his tongue refusing to move.
"Do I – should I drop you off at home?" Sasuke suggested stiffly and his tone made Naruto want to shrink.
It was a tone he had heard Sasuke mostly use when talking to his father; one the blond had never expected to hear aimed at himself. If he hadn't realised before how much he had fucked up things now, he certainly got the message now.
"Yeah, that's fine," he muttered and followed the dark haired man outside to his car.
Truthfully he didn't want to be confined in a small space with Sasuke at all right now – not after what they had just done, but the chances of Sasuke letting him take public transport were slim. The last thing he needed or wanted, was yet another argument about whether or not public transport was safe enough for him. Given the situation now, that argument would turn into a full blown out fight, making things worse between them. Not that Naruto thought things could go worse right now, but …
Still, the silence between them was stifling and oppressive, and the drive to Deidara's and Itachi's place felt longer than before. Sasuke kept his gaze fixed straight forwards, his fingers clenched tightly around the steering wheel, and Naruto looked out of the window, trying to distract himself by counting the streetlights.
It didn't help.
When Sasuke stopped in front of the house, Naruto stepped out silently and the dark haired man left before Naruto had even turned around. He swallowed and ignored the hot sting behind his eyeballs. Hiding his trembling hands in the pockets of his hoodie, he approached the front door, recalling at the last second that Deidara was at work until at least five p.m. Praying he had remembered to take his keys with him, he nearly cried out in relief when his fingers closed around the warmed metal of the house key in his jeans pocket. He jammed it into the lock and shuffled inside; silence greeting him.
For a few minutes he remained in the hallway, lingering, not knowing what to do. What did one do after kissing their married best friend? God, he was fucked up. He not only risked losing Sasuke's friendship, but Sakura's too. There was no way she would want to be still friends with him when she heard that he had kissed her husband. If she knew how long Naruto had been in love with him …
A shudder wrecked his body and he pressed his lips tightly together. He was disgusting. A disgusting low life who probably had just ruined his two closest friendships, just because he couldn't stop himself. Just because he had been too weak and too stupid to not have realised how this pregnancy would fuck him up.
His cheeks stinging with a thin trail of wet heat, Naruto shakily retrieved his phone out and scrolled through his contacts. He knew of only one person who wouldn't judge him right now, who would listen and who would hold back on saying "I told you so". He knew he fully deserved to be judged for what he had just done, but …
The phone rang three times before it was picked up. Gaara's rough, sleepy voice soon filled his ears. "Naruto? I was just about to fall asleep. What's so important that you - "
"I fucked up," Naruto blurted out, before he could consider what he could say. He closed his eyes and sank down on the ground; his legs raised up and cradling his belly.
"I'm sure it's not as bad as you think it is," the red haired man reassured him. "You always think you fucked up, but - "
"I kissed Sasuke."
There was a bout of silence, punctuated by their breathing as blue eyes stared unseeingly at a pair of black dressing shoes. "I'll be there in thirty minutes."
He made it in twenty. His face was expressionless as he ushered Naruto to his room, closing the door behind them even though nobody else was home yet. Gently he pushed the blond man down on his bed and sat down next to him, coaxing him to rest against the pillows he quickly pushed behind them.
"Tell me," he commanded softly. Words started spilling out Naruto's mouth like a waterfall, as if the dam had broken. They filled the air between them, audible proof of the horrible act he had just committed, giving a voice to the self-loathing currently filling him.
"I feel like such an arsehole," Naruto finished miserably, plucking relentlessly at a slightly loose thread in his blanket. "I should never have kissed him."
Gaara made a non-committal sound and when the pregnant man looked up, he expected to see disgust or utter shock plastered on his friend's face. This was the second time he admitted to someone else he was in love with Sasuke and it wasn't exactly easier. If anything, it felt worse precisely because of what he had just done. There was a difference between admitting to being in love with your best friend for years when nothing had happened and admitting the same thing after you had kissed him.
Gaara didn't look shocked, though. Nor disgusted or confused. He looked more resigned as if the worst thing he had expected to happen had come to pass.
"You don't seem surprised," Naruto remarked suspiciously, tensing up slightly.
The older man shrugged and released a soft sigh. "I've suspected for a while now that you're in love with him."
Naruto froze; a high pitched ringing sound filling his ears as panic slowly tightened its arms around him. "Am I that obvious? Who else knows?" he asked in a strangled voice. Had he been that fucking obvious? Did everyone know just how pathetic he was, pining after a married man? Had they been silently judging him for years? Did Sasuke know?
Did Sakura?
"Calm down," Gaara said sharply and squeezed his wrist tightly, forcing the blond to focus on the vice like grip. "Nobody else knows, I promise."
"How can you be so sure? What if Sakura-chan - "
"No offense, but Haruno isn't exactly the most observant person around. The only person she pays full attention to is Uchiha," Gaara retorted dryly, shaking his head.
"Somebody else could - "
"They don't," the green eyed man replied calmly. "I just can read you very well."
Unwillingly Naruto relaxed; the firm, confident tone of his friend setting him at ease. Gaara wouldn't lie to him; not about this.
Still, Gaara having noticed Naruto's crush was embarrassing, because he had always assumed he had kept his secret well hidden. Not hidden enough apparently. Then again, he had always been an open book for Gaara, so he shouldn't be surprised now that the man knew he was in love with Sasuke.
"You must think I'm pathetic, right?" Naruto mumbled, glancing away in shame.
"You're not pathetic," Gaara retorted instantly. He paused and added blankly, "Bad taste in men, no doubt about that, but not pathetic."
The corners of Naruto's mouth quirked up weakly, but any shred of amusement he could muster up at Gaara's comment was instantly dashed by heavy guilt. "I don't know what to do now," he admitted quietly, staring down at the pale green blanket. "I've ruined my friendship with Sasuke and when Sakura-chan finds out …"
There would be hell to pay and he couldn't blame her for that.
"Did you make the first move or did he?" Gaara asked abruptly.
Naruto gaped at him, taken off guard by the strange question. "What?" he stammered confused.
"Were you the one to kiss him first or did he start it?" the red haired man clarified, looking thoughtful.
The blond man frowned. "I – don't know. I didn't really take notice of it. Just one minute we're not and the next we're kissing and then, yeah, …" he trailed off with a grimace, staring down at his stomach which, now he thought about it, had started the whole thing. Feeling the baby kick had made the air between them weird and the next they had been kissing.
He shook his head, pursing his lips. "Does it matter, though, who started the kiss?"
"It does," Gaara replied easily. "Because from what you told me, it didn't seem like Uchiha was that opposed to kissing you."
"You're not helping," Naruto growled, glowering at his so called friend. He wouldn't even start contemplating whether Sasuke had actually liked the kiss or not. It was already a big mess now, thinking about that would only create an even bigger mess for him to deal with.
Besides, Sasuke was straight. He had never shown any interest in men. This kiss probably had been nothing but a fluke, a mistake, brought on by feeling exhilarant after feeling the baby kick.
Naruto had to tell himself that, because the alternative … No, there was no alternative. He wouldn't even consider the existence of one.
"What should I do?" he asked glumly.
Gaara shrugged. "Talk to Uchiha first. Find out why he kissed you back." He stated it matter-of-factly as if it was really as easy as that and Naruto hadn't just kissed his best friend who was married to his other best friend.
"And what then?" the blond man demanded, staring at his friend gloomily.
Gaara pulled his legs up on the bed and gazed at him contemplatively. "That depends on what Uchiha's answer will be," he answered neutrally.
Of course it was. That was exactly what Naruto was afraid of.
Naruto had always prided himself on confronting issues head on. There was no point in hiding from them or avoiding them, because eventually they would catch up to you and force you to deal with them, whether you were ready or not.
Now, he was ashamed to admit that he had taken to avoiding both Sasuke and Sakura. It had been a couple of days since the – since the kitchen accident as he had started referring to it in his head. He had gone against Gaara's advice and hadn't contacted Sasuke. What was he supposed to say?
Hey, yeah, remember the kiss we shared in your kitchen?
Care to tell me why you kissed me back?
Yeah, no, he was definitely not doing that. The idea alone of asking about the kiss was enough to churn his stomach in a reminder of the mornings he had spent puking his guts out during the early months of the pregnancy.
He simply couldn't ask Sasuke. Whatever answer he would give, Naruto had already betrayed his darkest secret. He had kissed Sasuke. If those cats hadn't started fighting, who knew how far they would have gone? Naruto certainly hadn't had the restraint to keep himself in check. His reactions alone made it very clear to anyone with even half a brain that he had enjoyed the kiss way too much for it to be simply considered a fluke or a mistake on his part.
Sasuke had been consistently at the top of the class, had earned top marks in every class, every subject he tackled on. Naruto knew his mask had been good enough to fool Sasuke for years – if it hadn't been, the older man would have said something, he was sure – but not anymore.
That one kiss was his undoing. That one simple touch – it hadn't even been a deep kiss, for fuck's sake – had let Sasuke know that Naruto felt more for him than just friendship.
The thought of confronting Sasuke about the kiss – was absolutely terrifying. Sasuke knew his darkest secret now, would realise how pathetic he was for pining after him. Naruto stood on the verge of losing one of his closest friendships, all because he had made one stupid mistake. If he could turn back time and prevent this from ever happening, he would. Kissing the dark haired man wasn't worth it if he lost his friendship – and Sakura's friendship – over it.
Guilt and shame over what he had done and utter fear of what Sasuke would say kept him from reaching out. He knew he should. He couldn't keep ignoring this, no matter how much he wanted, but …
He couldn't. He was a coward, plain and simple.
His phone lit up, vibrating softly on top of the wooden desk and blue eyes glanced at it, shuttering close when they noticed the name flashing accusingly up at him. He waited until the call had ended and then quickly typed up a message. 'Sorry. Busy with school projects. Talk to you later.'
His thumb pressed on 'Send' before he could reconsider and he discarded his phone back on the desk, staring down blankly at the aquarelle painting he was grading. He wondered how long he could keep him at bay before the man became too annoyed. Or maybe he would give up on him all together now; the kiss being the straw that broke the camel's back.
He was jolted out of his dark musings by a kick aimed at his kidneys and he looked down, slowly rubbing over his stomach. "If only you knew," he murmured despondently.
He was starting to understand why everyone in his life had advised him against carrying the baby. He had never really considered just what kind of an impact a baby would have on him and his bonds with his friends. Everything had seemed so straightforward at the beginning …
"Not that it is your fault that I'm such an idiot," Naruto reassured the baby, petting his belly carefully.
He received a kick in return.
It was one week later that Itachi knocked on Naruto's bedroom door, waving his phone in the air.
"Yeah, what's wrong? Something with Deidara-kun?" Naruto asked worriedly, turning away from his desk where he had been grading some essays.
Deidara had entered his eight month a week ago and had already experienced false contractions once before. Not that that meant he would go into an early labour, but it had made Naruto more alert – especially because it was something he had a chance of experiencing as well.
"He's fine," Itachi replied, but the frown on his face remained.
"Then what's wrong?" Naruto asked confused. It wasn't like Itachi to come knocking at his door this late in the evening. Not that the older man avoided him, but around this hour the couple usually had retired to their bedroom.
Dark eyes narrowed slightly. "Sasuke has been calling me several times this past week," Itachi explained slowly and Naruto couldn't help but tense up. That didn't escape Itachi's notice and the man raised an eyebrow. "Now I'm happy he wants to reconnect again, but the majority of his latest calls have been about one subject only."
"The stock market?" Naruto suggested feebly. He cringed when Itachi stared at him flatly.
"A certain blond man has apparently been avoiding him and refusing to call him back," the older man answered silkily. "I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I suggest you call him back and discuss it. I love my little brother, but my patience only goes so far. Call him back and do what you always do: talk."
With that said, Itachi turned around and went back to Deidara, considering his job done.
"Talk, huh?" Naruto snorted bitterly, his fingers tightening around his pen. "If only it were that simple."
For once, he doubted talking would really help.
Two days later it was Deidara's birthday. Desperate not to think about the kitchen accident, Naruto had thrown himself into his work and into his quest in finding a good present for his friend. It had been a meagre distraction, but seeing Deidara's face lit up when he unwrapped a book titled "Create Your Own Fireworks!" was totally worth it.
"I knew there was a reason why I thought you were annoying," Itachi muttered darkly when he caught sight of the title and scowled at the younger blond man.
Naruto grinned back unrepentantly. "You're just jealous I found a better present than you," he said smugly and was rewarded with an eyeroll.
As Deidara started ripping off the paper from a gift which had been sent by one of his friends, Naruto stood up and stretched his arms a bit, announcing, "I'm going to steal some more of that chocolate ice cream."
Deidara hummed in vague acknowledgement; furrowing his eyebrows over whatever was in the package.
The cold air of the freezer was welcome against his heated face. May had announced itself with warm weather and while it still wasn't too hot yet, ice cream sounded heavenly right now. Grabbing the plastic container out of the freezer, he started hunting down a plate and an ice scream scooper. His ears picked up the sounds of approaching footsteps and he asked absentmindedly, "Hey, do you know where we put the ice cream scooper?"
The footsteps halted behind in, but the owner of them remained silent.
Furrowing his eyebrows, he turned his head to check which one of the two it was and –
Froze; ice even colder than the ice cream in his hands filling his stomach.
Unreadable, dark eyes regarded him. "We need to talk," Sasuke stated flatly.
What the hell was he doing here?!
AN2: *sniffs* Can you smell that? That's the smell of angst and drama lurking around the corner :D
Please leave your thoughts behind in a review; should you spot any mistakes, please point them out to me!
I hope to see you all back in the next chapter, which will be posted on the 17th of November!
Cuddles
Melissa
- 16
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- 18
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Crossing Boundaries for You