Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Stranger than the Wild	By : kiddattwell Category: Naruto > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 30155 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and I don't make any money off of it.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
Chapter 17

*** *** *** *** NARUTO

The sight of Shikamaru and Temari whispering to each other in the dark passageway between the fence and the house had inspired Naruto to check all of the other little crevices he could think of. He’d have liked to find Gaara, but it seemed more important to find Sasuke since his teammate was probably sulking somewhere out in the cold and Sakura-chan would kill him if he let Sasuke get hypothermia.

Stalking around in the shadowy part of the yard where the breezeway dead-ended against the fence, he finally found his mark. He was stomping over and calling Sasuke’s name before he realized what he was seeing.

Sasuke was sitting next to Gaara, his hands in his hair, their faces… touching…

“What’s... going on?” Naruto managed as his stomach plummeted to somewhere around his knees. He didn’t even know why he asked; he had eyes. He knew exactly what he was looking at. But still, he felt fuzzy, like he’d just taken a punch to the head. He tried to get ahold of himself as Sasuke and Gaara looked down at him over their shoulders.

“I made a move on Sasuke,” Gaara said, his tone bland and unemotional.

Naruto had had to deal with circumstances beyond his control for most of his life. He knew a lot about bitter, helpless anger. That’s why the heat that was suddenly coursing through his veins felt uncomfortably familiar.

He needed to get the hell outta there before his inner 11-year-old could crawl out of his mouth and really cause some trouble.

“Right... Ok,” Naruto said as he nodded. And nodded and nodded again, until his feet had walked him away from the scene and he was inside the safety of his own house where Sasuke and Gaara didn’t kiss.

As far as he knew.

But even inside, surrounded by soft light and the familiar voices of his friends, he couldn’t deny what was rising in him. He tried to fight it as he stood in the living room, a drink in one hand and a smile plastered across his face, but it slowly saturated all of his thoughts. He didn’t want to feel it, but... he was angry. At Sasuke, at Gaara, but also at himself for being such a complete asshole. He loved Gaara. He loved Sasuke. The idea of them both being happy in a relationship should have put him over the moon. But the only thing he wanted to put over the moon was that damn, red-headed sand brat.

No. He didn’t really feel that. He couldn’t. Not about Gaara.

Fine. Let’s punt idiot Sasuke into space.

Uninvited, Sakura’s words from a month ago floated back to him.

“Sasuke is popular! He might want to be with someone someday!”

Maybe he shouldn’t have ignored her when she said that Sasuke wouldn’t be content to live with them forever. Now Naruto wondered how and why he had ever thought that he would.

It's too soon, though! Naruto thought, We just started living under one roof!

But lo and behold, Sasuke was already trying to throw a wrench in it.

What the hell else is new?!

Back in the real world, he realized that he had been running on auto-pilot for quite some time, and that he had cornered Hinata into a conversation where he was being way too enthusiastic about the new jutsu she was learning. He was also holding one of Gaara’s sparkly bottles of Suna booze by the neck. He wanted to smash it. Instead, he offered it to Hinata as a souvenir.

“A memento of inter-village cooperation!” He said, thrusting it at her.

She took it reluctantly, her troubled eyes peeking up at his face, “If you’re sure... um, thank you...”

He was such an idiot; he had no idea what he was saying. He had just enough control over himself to feel bad for trapping her, but not enough to actually stop talking.

So dumb. I’ll have to apologize tomorrow.

Naruto felt the moment when Sasuke sauntered back into the room. Heat roiled in his gut, but he had just enough self-control not to look over at him. Gaara, however, entered his peripheral vision and seemed to be staring at him.

Was he trying to get his attention to talk about what had just happened? Naruto couldn’t think of a worse idea.

Trying to smile at Hinata without quite succeeding, he pointed upstairs, “I’m, uh... I think I’m gonna go up there for a sec,” Naruto said, maneuvering so that his back was to the rest of the room.

“Is everything alright? Are you feeling sick?” Hinata asked, her hand falling on his elbow, her white eyes peering into his. He couldn't meet them for long though.

“Yeah, no... I feel weird,” he said, unable to rule out the possibility. The world was a little sway-y, "I’m just gonna...”

“If you're sick… I’ll-I'll come with you,” Hinata said, taking his arm. Probably to help brace him up, he thought. He wanted to tell her she didn’t have to, but he also really wanted to get in the bathroom, shut the door, sit down, and not look at Gaara or Sasuke.

"I made a move on a Sasuke."

Naruto clenched his jaw.

“Almost there,” Hinata said, giving his back a pat as they cleared the last stair and stumbled across the landing into the bathroom. He shut the door behind them with his foot and crashed to the floor. He heard Hinata squeak with worry.

“Ahh… What should I do?” She asked, and he felt her hand on his back again. He rolled over with a groan and looked up at her.

“I dunno,” he said, “I feel so... stupid. Or maybe crazy. I can’t tell,” Naruto said, staring up at the ceiling, out of breath all of the sudden, “Wha’dyou do when you’re losing it?”

“When I’m losing it? I… Well... I suppose I take a deep breath,” she said, waving her hands toward her body while inhaling deeply. He followed her lead, taking a deep breath and holding it for as long as he could.

“What else?” he asked.

“Well... I tell myself there’s nothing to be afraid of, and that you can’t be brave without being scared first.”

Naruto shook his head. The room followed, but left an after image. “What about when you’re angry?”

“Angry? I’m not so good at being angry...” she said, kneeling down beside him.

“You’re not, huh?” he ruminated, “I wish I was like that. I could be the person I wanna be if I was like that.”

“When... when people get angry, isn’t it usually because they’re afraid of something?”

“Neh?”

“You know... if someone insults you, it’s not really what they said that makes you mad, right? It’s more that they hurt your feelings or made you look bad or… or you’re worried that the bad thing they said might actually be true. That’s all just a kind of fear, isn’t it?”

“I dunno,” Naruto panted, “That’s too deep for me right now.”

“Sorry,” she said. He tried to tell her it wasn’t her fault, but shaking his head made him dizzy. He groped around on the floor until he found her hand and then patted it.

“Let’s... just hide out in here for a bit,” he said, squinting up at her, “And you can tell me a story or somethin’... A simple one.”

She nodded. But she looked flustered for where to start, so he asked, “What’s your night been like? Were you having fun?”

“Oh, yes! It’s been nice to see everyone so happy,” she said, and began chatting obediently about her team and who was doing what. As she went on, like an academy kid recounting her day, Naruto slowly pulled himself up to a sitting position. By the time Naruto found out about Akamaru siring a litter of puppies and Hinata’s weekly duties and all of Shino’s favorite new haunts, something like an hour had passed and he actually felt a little more like himself again. Hinata looked so relieved to see him upright that he had to laugh.

“You didn’t have to be so worried. I think I just had too much to drink. It just took some time to burn through it,” he said. But honestly, he was just as relieved as she was to be feeling better. Maybe it was just the alcohol that had been riling him up.

“I’m glad,” Hinata said, “But why were you so upset?”

“Ehh... long story. I’d rather hear about your stuff.”

“But I just told you everything!”

“Yeah, but you left out all the juicy bits,” Naruto grinned, “I wanna hear the gossip! Whose got crushes and is up to no good! Sakura-chan’s been gone, so I haven’t gotten to hear her and Ino-chan’s weekly rundown in a month!”

Hinata looked alarmed, “Ino-chan and Sakura-chan hear a lot of gossip?”

“Sure! But why do you look so worried, Hinata-chan? Have you been up to something you don’t want anyone to know about?” Naruto asked, grinning.

Hinata opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Naruto leaned forward, ready to tease her some more, but a loud thump against the door interrupted.

“Don’t think you’re saved,” Naruto said to her, picking himself up off the floor and offering her a hand, “I’m gonna get you to tell me everything,” he said, then laughed again at her fearful expression.

The thump on the door turned into a bang.

“Alright, alright,” he called, unlocking it, “Sorry we-”

He opened the door and there was Sasuke, looking none too happy. He shoved his way past Naruto and looked blearily around the bathroom. Spotting Hinata, he fixed her with a dark stare.

“You ok?” Naruto asked calmly, even though he felt his earlier anger trickling back in.

“Get out of here,” he said flatly.

Naruto rolled his eyes and turned to the door, but then Sasuke spoke again.

“Not you. Her,” he said.

“Oi,” Naruto began, but Hinata scuttered, weaving around him to get to the door.

“It’s ok, Naruto-kun,” she whispered, “He doesn’t look like he’s feeling so good.”

Naruto couldn’t disagree with her; Sasuke looked like he was half in the bag, eyes glassy, cheeks pink. So he let her leave quietly and shut the door behind her.

“That was rude, teme!”

But Sasuke only glared at him before he asked, “Why are you mad at me?”

“Me? You’re the one who looks like you’re ready to fight.”

True to Naruto’s claim, Sasuke lurched at him, grabbing a hold of the front of Naruto’s shirt, "Why’re you avoiding me?”

“I’m here now, right?”

“You looked weird,” Sasuke insisted, his black eyes boring into him.

“I’m totally normal! You’re the one being crazy!”

“Yeah,” Sasuke agreed, releasing his hold and stepping back until he staggered against the countertop, “Yeah...”

Naruto was torn between feeling wronged and feeling sorry for Sasuke, who now painted a compelling picture of drunken depression, hunched over as he stared at the ground.

“Why... why did you kiss Gaara?” Naruto demanded. Sasuke looked up at him.

“Why not?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto couldn’t sputter out his objection fast enough, “You don’t like him, for one!”

“I don’t like anyone,” Sasuke said dismissively, then added, “Idiot.”

Naruto glared at him, “What’re me and Sakura then? Anonymous roommates?”

Sasuke didn’t rise to the bait though, “It doesn’t matter if I like either of you. I can’t kiss you.”

Naruto snorted, “Since when? I don’t know the exact details about you and Sakura’s record, but you and I are one for one on kisses now.”

Sasuke looked up at him slowly. Naruto would have found his expression a bit chilling if he wasn’t so angry at him.

“Do you even hear what you're saying?” Sasuke finally spat.

Naruto met his scorn with contempt, “Yeah. I’m saying that you actually kiss us a lot.”

Sasuke pushed off the sink and stumbled over to him, “So what? You want me to keep kissing you instead of Gaara?”

“I’m saying I don’t want you to kiss people you don’t like,” he hedged, trying to keep up his front even as Sasuke leaned closer to him, “I mean, don’t you think Gaara’s been through enough without you leading him on?”

“Gaara’s fine, dobe. He’s too sure of himself,” Sasuke said, his arm slipping over one of Naruto’s shoulders. Naruto held his breath; Sasuke face was right in front of his. But then it fell past him, until the full weight of Sasuke’s head was resting on his shoulder, his other arm limply brushing his side.

“Tell me what to do, dobe. You guys, you... you and Sakura... you’re the only ones I trust. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it...” Sasuke mumbled.

“Sasuke?” Naruto whispered. Sasuke grew heavier and heavier against him until finally, Naruto heard light snoring. He’d fallen asleep. Naruto held Sasuke against him until, for lack of a better options, he slowly laid him down on the floor.

Naruto laid down next to him, stretching out on his back.

Aside from being Hokage and the occasional bowl of ramen, Sakura and Sasuke had been the only things he wanted in his life. And they’d been slippery as hell to catch, but he finally had them. The prospect of losing Sasuke to Gaara did not sit well with him, even now that he was slightly more sober.

But in a way, Gaara creeping into the picture was Naruto’s fault, right? If it wasn’t for Naruto, Sasuke would have been with Sakura and they’d have been love-dovey-happy by now. Of course, Sakura would probably argue that she would have likely had something to say about that, but there was no doubt in Naruto’s mind that they would have gotten together if he hadn’t been around to interfere.

And at least when Sasuke liked Sakura, it kept him anchored to the team.

Naruto looked over at his pale friend, wheezing in peaceful repose.

All of this whose kissing who drama was really starting to eat at him. It wasn’t even the kissing that Naruto cared about. He didn’t really care if Sasuke kissed him or Sakura if it meant they all stayed together.

But... Naruto knew how isolated Sasuke was. How could he act like a baby the first time he tried to branch out? He didn’t have any right to keep Sasuke from trying to find happiness with someone else, or even just experimenting with whoever he liked.

Sakura said Sasuke was possessive of them, but Naruto was the one who always wanted him around, practically living in his pocket.

Naruto reached out and touched Sasuke’s face. He didn’t stir. Naruto sighed.

“I’m sorry, teme. All this crap is probably my fault,” Naruto sighed, idly pushing back some of Sasuke’s hair before he snorted, “Who else coulda made such a mess without realizing it? But I am tryin, you know? I’ll try to give you space...”

Naruto frowned and threw his arm over his friend’s chest before closing his eyes, “It’s not like I have much of a choice, huh?”

*** *** *** *** SASUKE

The seconds that happened in between hearing Naruto call his name and turning down to look at him were very, very long. Immediately Sasuke felt an intense, puzzled regret spread through his entire body. How could he have let his guard down like this? He could barely believe that a few seconds ago, some part of him, even a drunken part, could have ever thought that kissing Gaara was a good idea. There really was something wrong with him.

And then there was Naruto.

Confusion, anger, hurt... Sasuke knew the face. Naruto had looked at him like that on more occasions than he wanted to remember and now he had another one for the books. It was like a gut punch.

He listened to Gaara and Naruto’s exchange with mute detachment before Naruto ran off.

Sasuke dismounted from the roof, stumbling slightly into the fence when he landed. Gaara floated down gracefully after him.

“Is everything alright?” Gaara asked.

Sasuke could only nod. Wracking his brain for the words to end the miserable encounter he found himself in, the only thing he could come up with is: “It’s cold.”

At least it was true.

“Alcohol thins your blood,” Gaara said helpfully, taking a few steps toward the house and looking back to see if he was following.

Sasuke did, fighting the instinct that told him to sprint in the opposite direction.

Back inside, Gaara was immediately grabbed by his brother, allowing Sasuke to slink away into the dwindling crowd. It didn’t take him long to find Naruto.

Of course, stupid dobe was blocking Sasuke’s exit plan (also known as the stairs). Naruto was speaking far too jovially to Hinata, who looked overwhelmed and nervous by his level of energy. Naruto pretended not to notice him in the room, emphatically gesturing at Hinata instead, a sparkly bottle of booze in his hand.

With the route to his bedroom blocked and the fear that Gaara would follow him if he left the house, Sasuke picked up a bottle of his own.

Anything to make this night end faster, he thought.

His wish was granted, and most the night after that point disappeared.

*** *** *** ***

Sasuke was being slowly dragged into consciousness. It started with pain in his back, arms, and strangely, his face. He was also being restrained, somehow. He pried an eye open and saw an arm, a man’s arm clad in a black undershirt, dangling over him. The warm weight of this mystery body was pushing Sasuke harder into the cold, bare floor beneath his cheek.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much time to process that as he immediately had to throw up.

Thankfully, the toilet was only a few feet away. When Sasuke was done, he peered over his shoulder to see the owner of the arm.

Of course, he thought, closing his eyes on Naruto’s sleeping face and easing down on to his back. At least now he could focus on the fact that he was obviously dying and, judging by how horrible he felt, it would probably all be over soon.

In what he was sure were his last moments, he tried to recall how he had ended up on the bathroom floor. At first, he prayed that Naruto hadn’t had to carry him there or anything embarrassing like that… but… No matter how much he wracked his brain, the how of how he got there was gone. Just... gone. He vaguely remembered fighting with Naruto about something, but he wasn’t sure what they had said to each other. And Hinata had also been in the bathroom for some reason, which was just... extra crap on top of shit, even if he couldn’t remember what had happened.

But there was one very clear scene planted among the shrouded ones… At some point in the night, Sasuke had woken up and saw Naruto asleep on the freezing cold tile, his arm thrown over Sasuke’s chest. For reasons that had made sense to his drunken mind, Sasuke had put towels under Naruto’s head to act like a pillow, then thrown two more over him for a blanket. He remembered how his hands shook and felt numb while he was doing it; it must have been freezing. After he was done, Sasuke stared down at his work and Naruto’s calm, sleeping face.

Suddenly there was a leak from somewhere in the bathroom... Water was spilling on Naruto. No... Sasuke was crying and it was his tears that fell onto Naruto’s cheek.

Trembling, trying to hold back his sobs, he watched Naruto while he dozed. He should have looked away, turned around, hid in the bathtub, jumped out the window, anything. But he couldn’t. Because something had happened.

Sometime between kissing Gaara and winding up drunk and shivering on the floor of their bathroom, Sasuke had been granted crystal clear vision and with it, learned something deeply disturbing.

Sasuke loved Naruto. Loud, pushy, insensitive, subtle-as-a-rock, Naruto.

And it made him feel hopelessly, dangerously, alone.

Swarmed by bleak thoughts, he would have woken Naruto up, only he didn’t know what would come out of his mouth if he did. There wasn’t anything left inside of him but the truth of his revelation and his emptiness. Maybe if it had been Sakura... or if she had been there too... maybe he could have reached out and saved himself, drained some of the darkness...

Her image churned brightly in his fevered mind. She was like an invisible presence, haunting his thoughts. She had been in Gaara’s green eyes, in Temari’s take-charge attitude. Her voice echoed in his ears every time Ino spoke or laughed. It was the same voice in his head that had given him advice all month. So of course she was there in the bathroom with him and Naruto, while he was at his lowest.

And of course, he loved her.

“I hate you. I really hate you both, dobe. Really,” He told his sleeping friend as he leaned forward, his forehead resting against Naruto’s.

Blue eyes slowly blinked open. Two hands reached for him, pulled him on to his shoulder like he belonged there. Sasuke wheezed, trying to get his feelings under control.

His arms and legs were freezing, but his chest was warm...

Sasuke jolted awake, banging his head against the underside of the toilet bowl, unsure of when he’d fallen asleep again. There was bright white light streaming into the bathroom’s tiny window, and a loud banging from the door.

He sat up again more carefully, feeling like garbage, but not, perhaps, like he was about to die. Naruto was up too, rising from his makeshift bed of towels.

“Come on!” A female voice called. Sasuke briefly startled.

Sakura?

“There’s only one bathroom and I’m a diplomatic visitor in Konoha. I really don’t want to be brought in front of a tribunal to explain why I was peeing in public at twelve in the afternoon!”

“Coming,” Naruto croaked, crawling toward the door and pulling himself up with the handle. Sasuke tried to copy him, but was having some trouble getting from his knees to his feet. But he pulled himself up on the sink just as Naruto opened the door.

Sasuke wasn’t incredibly interested in his dignity at the moment, so Temari’s surprised, then bemused expression didn’t really register until he had passed her by. Naruto, now yawning on the landing, was also a bit too much to deal with, given the recently remembered events of the night before. Sasuke slunk into his room and was grateful when Naruto didn’t follow him.

Crawling on to his bed, his head faintly throbbing, unsure if he’d be able to sleep again, he closed his eyes...

And startled into consciousness again as raised voices drifted into his room from downstairs. It felt like he’d only closed his eyes for a few seconds, but the sun was coming full blast through his windows, which meant at least another hour or so had passed.

The voices he was hearing were quite loud, and one of them definitely sounded like Naruto. Sliding off of his bed, he opened his door and walked out on to the landing.

Someone was talking, but Sasuke didn’t catch what they said. Naruto’s reply, however, rang out loud and clear.

“No! I’m happy for you!” Naruto said heartily, “And for Sasuke!”

Sasuke felt a sharp stab of pain behind his eyes. He walked back to his door and slammed it shut. He let his footsteps fall heavy down the stairs.

In his living room, apparently holding some kind of tribunal, Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro were sitting in a v formation around the couches. Naruto sat on the coffee table in the middle of them all, dangerously surrounded by glasses of water and a plate of crackers. They turned to watch Sasuke as he walked into the room.

Naruto smiled at him over his shoulder, “You’re up! I was gettin’ scared for a minute there.”

Sasuke studied his friend for any sign of the distress that he thought he’d seen the night before, but Naruto seemed perfectly normal. It could have been deception, but Naruto wasn’t great at hiding his feelings. No, he was fine. Just like always.

“We were waiting on you,” Temari said, her smile slightly mischievous, “We wanted to thank you for cohosting last night. And to say goodbye properly.”

All eyes flickered to Gaara, even Sasuke’s. Gaara, too, seemed to be his usual self... although that was a harder thing to tell. Sasuke wasn’t even sure if Gaara was just pretending not to notice how the entire room seemed to be waiting for him to speak or if he was really that immune to people staring at him.

“I guess I can go get our bags ready. Bro, can you help?” Temari asked Kankuro, “Oh, Naruto, did you want to come check out that scroll before we pack it up?”

“Oh, yeah,” Naruto said, finally showing some stiff emotion, but going along with Temari anyway.

He must think he’s doing me a favor, Sasuke thought, Idiot.

But there was nothing to do but watch them all leave, the back door sliding shut behind them.

Gaara sat forward on the couch, leaning against his knees, “You disappeared last night. Was it because of me?”

Sasuke shook his head, “No.”

Not completely, anyway.

There was a long silence between them. Sasuke, feeling like an idiot for both the awkward pause and for standing frozen at the foot of the steps for so long, walked over to the loveseat and sat down.

“What are you thinking?” Gaara asked, watching him closely.

“Nothing,” Sasuke said. His reply fell ungracefully into the empty space between them and he regretted his abruptness. This wasn’t natural for either of them, so he could at least make an effort to split the awkwardness. Sasuke added, “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be thinking about.”

Gaara nodded and looked pensive, staring off at nothing for a change.

“We’re leaving,” Gaara finally said.

Sasuke nodded at him.

“Come with us.”

Sasuke, who thought they had been feeling a mutual, shared embarrassment, gaped at him. Gaara was just as bold as he was the night before!

Trying to keep control of his voice, Sasuke managed to follow up that offer with: “And do what?”

Unless Gaara said something entirely non-sexual and platonic like, “I need you to come hunt rogue nins,” Sasuke was going to leave the room and never speak to him again.

But the expression Gaara gave him made it seem like it was fairly obvious what he wanted him to come to the Sand and do. Sasuke felt heat rise to his face and spots appear in front of his eyes. He couldn't believe he was having this conversation with the Kage of a rival village while he felt like literal death.

He flung himself to his feet and stomped over to the stairs. He glanced back over at Gaara, who looked surprised.

Good.

“I’m an elite ninja,” Sasuke said, “I don’t need to be anyone’s concubine.”

“Pfffff!” Gaara spat before he bursted out laughing. He actually laughed. Big, “Ah-ha-ha-ha!” type laughter. Even after he tried to stop, he still sat hunched over, hugging his arms to his body, shaking with the effort to hold it in.

Sasuke glared at him. He was about to show him just how elite of a ninja he was.

“That’s not what I meant,” Gaara said tightly, his mouth trembling with the effort to hold back his grin, “I just want to get to know you. I thought... that was obvious. Maybe come with me was too abrupt, but...” Gaara paused, scrunching his eyes closed, trying to keep from laughing again.

Sasuke said nothing. He wanted to punch the guy out and never see him again. He was fairly sure he wouldn’t get to do either, and that was infuriating to no end.

Gaara stood, running his hands down his front, trying to regain some of his composure, but when he walked over to Sasuke, he was still smiling. “Your Hokage’s successor is coming next week along with Sakura. Would meeting them for the final leg of their journey be reason enough? Naruto would probably come with you.”

Sasuke wasn’t sure what was more dignified: Ignoring Gaara completely or rejecting him outright. Just as he had settled on a really scathing reply, Gaara took another step forward and reached for him. Sasuke grabbed his hand out of the air before he made contact, just as the back door slid open.

Naruto’s face was shocked for half a second; an echo from the night before. But it was gone as quickly as it had appeared, morphing into a sleazy grin before Sasuke could even be sure he’d really seen it.

Sasuke released Gaara’s hand, drawing down the shade over his emotions as much as he could, no longer sure if he wanted to punch Gaara, Naruto, or himself.

“You ready, bro? We still gotta stop by the Hokage’s place and say goodbye,” Kankuro said, easily the most uncomfortable person in the room. Sasuke would have been glad to have the tables turned for a change if he hadn’t had to kiss Gaara to do it.

Gaara took back his hand and nodded. Sasuke tensed, waiting to see if he would try something else on his way out, but he walked away and the others followed him to the front door. Sasuke reluctantly trailed behind them.

“We’ll come with to HQ if you want,” Naruto said as the trio put on their shoes, giving Sasuke a quick glance, “Right? You look like some fresh air would do you good.”

Sasuke groaned internally, but couldn’t bring himself to say no.

Realizing that he had such strange, stupid feelings for his teammates was one thing, but the fact that it made him not want to throttle Naruto for coming up with such an awful suggestion was a whole different can of worms. The universe didn’t think it was enough that he loved the guy? Now he had to meekly go along with him as he tried to hook Sasuke up with someone else?

Sasuke followed the group as slowly as possible in a small show of rebellion. As he walked, passing all the familiar buildings on the streets of Konoha, he considered his options.

How was he supposed to be Naruto’s and Sakura’s teammate like this, knowing what he knew, feeling how he felt? He was a mess on a good day, a nightmare on a bad... and now...

All he did was cause problems for them. Hell, he had forced himself on both of them, but all they did in response was give him a pep-talk.

Because they thought that he had the same pure feelings of friendship and team camaraderie that they had for him. They let him take advantage of them.

Naive bastards, he thought moodily, How could anyone be that dense?

But he didn’t really blame them. He had only figured out his feelings less than 24-hours ago and with the help of poisonous amounts of alcohol. Too bad his drunk brain didn’t give him any ideas about what to do with all the problematic feelings that it had been so eager to reveal to him.

Naruto turned to him with a grin as they reached HQ and he held the door open for their guests. As Sasuke passed, Naruto asked, “Feeling better yet?”

Sasuke felt his eye twitch, but he nodded in response.

*** *** *** ***

When they were granted entry to the Hokage’s office, they had barely taken a step inside when she said, “Well, well, well... I wasn’t sure if you’d be well enough to show your face today, Naruto. What with all the goings on at your house last night.”

“Eh heh…” Naruto said, play-acting coy, “You know how it is sometimes when you have a couple friends over…”

“We’re sorry for the noise, Hokage-sama. I hope it didn’t inconvenience anyone in the village,” Gaara said, swiftly and diplomatically.

“Not at all, Kazekage-sama. We enjoy having you here. And I’m sure it wasn’t you who insisted on a parade through town at 10 o’clock at night.”

The rest of the goodbyes were formal and boiler plate, however, as they were leaving, Tsunade held Naruto and Sasuke back.

“It should only take a moment,” she said, “I have a mission scroll for you to go over quickly.”

When the room cleared out leaving only Sasuke, Naruto, and Shizune, Tsunade’s polite mask slipped off her face.

“It’s been fun hearing about your little drunken march through my village all morning. Some civilians complained, you know.”

Naruto grimaced, “Yeah... Sorry about that. I didn’t know we’d end up such a big crowd.”

“Partying at all hours of the night isn’t Hokage behavior, Naruto,” she chastised.

Sasuke could see Naruto’s smart reply on his lips —it would have been easy to throw the Hokage’s own booze loving behavior in her face at that moment— but Naruto’s growing self-control did him credit.

Tsunade must have noticed as well because Sasuke saw her fighting down a smile.

"Not to mention making such a spectacle in front of the Kazekage."

“Gaara didn’t come as the Kazekage. He came as my friend.”

Tsunade sighed and rubbed her hand against her forehead before tossing Naruto a scroll from her desk, “There. Your mission. You leave tomorrow.”

Naruto flopped it open, glancing down to the bottom, “This is a buncha guys... But Sasuke’s not here. What the heck? Now stupid teme is getting special treatment from you, too? He was at the party too, you know.”

“Believe it or not, the mission isn’t a punishment. I want to see how you cut it as a leader without your second in command to fall back on. Of course, Sasuke’s training can resume as usual… if you’ve recovered by then,” she said, and she surprised Sasuke by smiling at him, “I know a bad hangover when I see one.”

With that, she dismissed them and they were free to meet back up with the Sand trio in the lobby.

Naruto grumbled to himself as they walked back to meet Gaara’s convoy, while Sasuke wondered if he was catching a break. Naruto was leaving for a few days, giving Sasuke a bit of space to go over things before Sakura got back. He could figure out what he should do about his messed up feelings, if anything. Hell, maybe if he ignored them, they’d go away on their own. Maybe some peace and quiet was exactly what he needed.

He saw Naruto eyeing him and looked in the opposite direction. But a second later, an arm roughly flung itself around Sasuke’s shoulder.

Sasuke waited for it —the complaint, the snarky comment, the murmured observation— the reason that Naruto had pulled him to him. But nothing came. They walked in silence for thirty or so confusing steps, until Naruto sighed, “I hate that I gotta leave.”

Sasuke shrugged his arm away, cursing himself and his quick beating heart. Could he even make the amount of time until Naruto left without embarrassing himself?

It wasn’t just that he felt guilty. And it wasn’t the raw, newness of the emotions either. It was the disturbing idea buzzing in the deepest corner of his mind that, if he played this situation just right, he could have them.

It would be almost too easy to weasel closer to Naruto, blur the lines even more than he already had. Hell, Naruto was so desperate to be close to him, he could probably make any number of situations seem like they were Naruto’s idea in the first place.

There was also the possibility of Sakura coming back when Naruto was gone if his mission ran long. Being alone with Sakura was a different game, but one he was sure he could win if he played it right. She didn’t crowd him as much as Naruto, but she was very perceptive when it came to reading a person’s feelings. If he used that against her, let just the right words ‘accidentally’ slip out, she would be all over it... and all over him. Doting on him, staying by his side... He wondered how far he could push her...

No. He wouldn’t do that. He didn’t really get why, but they cared about him. He’d already taken liberties with their friendships. He couldn’t keep using them, even if he had deeper feelings to ‘justify’ his actions somewhat.

If he could do right by Naruto and Sakura somehow... what would that look like? What would that mean? Could they really go on like this, with them giving everything and him taking as much as he could?

Until I can love them the way they love me, I don’t deserve to feed off their kindness, Sasuke thought.

The Kazekage’s carriage was packed and waiting as they turned on to their home street. Sasuke’s heart was racing. Inside of his house was a trap that he had set for himself, one that he might not have been able to resist walking into. Outside the house...

“Gaara,” Sasuke called. Gaara turned to him, his green eyes nearly translucent in the sunlight. Sasuke tried not to think of Sakura, and failed.

This is for Sakura, he thought.

“Were you serious about your offer?” Sasuke asked.

“Huh? What offer?” Naruto asked, stopping at their gate to look back at Sasuke.

“I offered to bring you and Sasuke out to the Sand to meet Sakura,” Gaara said.

Naruto scratched his nose idly, “Oh, that’s… nice. But I’ve got this stupid mission that baa-san just saddled me with.”

“I’ll go,” Sasuke said quickly.

Gaara’s expression changed. A slow, happy smile spread across his face. Sasuke tried not to notice.

Temari, however, was a lot harder to ignore as she grinned at him from ear to ear, “I... I’ll just make some room in the cart,” she said.

Kankuro looked stunned.

“I’ll go pack,” Sasuke said quickly, before he could lose his nerve.

Naruto followed him inside, right at his heels, not even pretending to hide the fact that he was about to pounce. Just as he thought, Naruto rounded on him as soon as the front door was shut.

“Teme! What the hell are you thinking? If you go, you’ll be in that cart with them for two or three days at least! And then you’re gonna stay and hitch a ride back with Kakashi-sensei? You realize that’s another half a week on the road with Kakashi-sensei? In a much smaller carriage?”

Sasuke paused on his march to his bedroom. He actually hadn’t thought of either of those things. But he couldn’t very well try to leave later; there was no way he’d get to the Sand in time to meet Sakura, so his excuse for leaving would be moot.

Maybe I’ll be able to find a reason to stay longer and avoid the road-trip with Kakashi, at least.

“I’ll figure something out,” Sasuke said, and brushed by Naruto to get upstairs. Once there, he pulled out his pack and started stuffing clothes into it.

Naruto stood next to him and watched his progress, his hands on his hips, “I don’t wanna interfere or anything, but… isn’t this kinda fast?”

For some reason, that annoyed him. If Naruto was so neutral about the whole thing, then why was Sasuke getting lectured? Why did he even care? Sasuke shoved a pair of shorts in to the bag with extra vehemence, “So now you don’t lose your temper and you don’t interfere? Do I need to use my Sharingan and check that you actually are Naruto?”

Naruto sighed, but it sounded a bit like a growl as he bit out, “I’m trying to be a good friend here.”

“So you refuse to have an opinion, then? What if I just stayed in the Sand forever? Wouldn’t that ruin your plans?” Sasuke snarked, thinking back to Naruto’s elaborate, imagined future where Team 7 all lived together under one roof along with Naruto’s absurdly named fantasy children.

Naruto, however, looked like he had been smacked.

“I... I don’t have any plans, teme!” Naruto countered, his hands balled at his sides as he glared down at him.

Sasuke stopped his comeback to study his teammate, confused by the anger in his reply. But Naruto recovered his composure quickly under his scrutiny, “Look, I’m just... worried. I know we were drinking, but last night you just seemed so... so sad and everything. And now you’re up and taking off out of nowhere…”

Sasuke looked back at his bag. He was so tired of feeling, of swinging between emptiness and boiling intensity. But mostly he was tired of making his team worry about him.

He wanted Naruto to rely on him. For Sakura to look at him the way she used to, with admiration. He longed for the iron gripped emotional control he had only a year ago. Why couldn’t he simply be the person he was supposed to be? Why did he have to be sad and happy and love people?

Naruto knelt down beside him and clasped a hand on his shoulder, “If there’s something more going on with you, I don’t want you to hide it from me. I don’t want you to pretend that you’re fine when you’re not.”

“I am fine, dobe,” Sasuke replied, temporarily distracted by Naruto’s leg brushing his.

Shit. Really? Knowing I’m in love means I have to turn into a giddy twelve-year-old girl every time we touch?

“But in the bathroom, I saw you crying—”

“It was just the alcohol,” Sasuke said, waving away his concerns, “I won’t drink anymore. Ever.”

Naruto shifted closer, trying to peek around Sasuke’s hair to get a better look at his face, “D’you promise it was just that?”

Sasuke nodded, resuming his violent packing.

“So why do you wanna go then? Is it really because of Gaara?”

“You’re leaving in a few days,” Sasuke said mechanically, “There’s no reason for me to stay with no one good around to train with. I can mix up my routine in the Sand and then bring Sakura home. We’ll probably be here before you get back.”

It was a smooth lie. There was no need to upset Naruto with his real plan of staying until he could avoid being alone with Sakura as well.

Of course, this whole trip was about sparing them the uncomfortable truth, wasn’t it?

Sasuke stood up, his bag on his shoulders. Naruto hovered around him, looking like he would try to block the door if he could think of another reason to keep him from going.

Part of him was a little gratified that Naruto was so reluctant to let him go... of course, that part was starting to get buried under the annoyance.

Just let me do the right thing for once, dobe, Sasuke silently willed him, walking out of his room and down the steps. He was almost in the foyer when Naruto called out again.

“What about Gaara?”

“What about him?”

“He... he probably likes you, ya big idiot! What if he wants... things?”

“I imagine he already does,” Sasuke huffed, but his musings came to a halt when Naruto’s mouth fell open in shock.

“So? What are you gonna do if that happens?!” He practically screeched.

Sasuke almost wanted to laugh at the bitter irony of Naruto worrying about his romantic purity. Instead, Sasuke leaned in and poked Naruto in the center of his chest, pushing him off balance so he stumbled into the couch. “Who do you think you’re talking to? If something happens, I’ll handle it.”

“But—" Naruto began, but Sasuke was already in the foyer, his hand on the front door.

“Come see us off, dobe. And don’t make a scene.”

Sasuke quickly stepped outside, forcing himself to not even look at Naruto until he was in Gaara’s carriage. He knew that the darker part of him was hungry for proof that Naruto wanted him around. But it seemed no matter how weird love made him, seeing that hurt confusion on Naruto’s face was always going to be a knife in his chest.
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Stranger than the Wild