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Love Me When I'm Gone	By : KittenCobra Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1971 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto (the manga or anime) or any of the characters included within it. I only own the original characters in this story including the main character Utako Mizuke. I do not make any form of profit off of this story.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
17. Power
When I awake in the morning, I find myself snuggled into bed, skin-to-skin with Gaara. I slide my arms along his sides, relishing the feeling of his bare skin. I breathe in his scent, and look up into his jade eyes and the dark circles that surround them. He has been awake for some time, it seems; simply watching me sleep.
“Good morning handsome,” I smile up at him. “I don’t want to ruin this amazing moment, but… shouldn’t you be at work already?”
“No,” he grumbles in his rough morning voice. “I planned to go in late today. It is why I worked late yesterday. I wasn’t sure… what you would decide. I wanted the chance to wake up in your bed again. I regret leaving you last time.” His eyes are somber, and he is remembering coming home to an unconscious Temari, and me already gone.
He has already searched the house twice. Where are they? Has something happened while I was away? He throws open the door to Temari’s room to see her unconscious form tucked into bed. There’s no way she put herself in that way! He reaches down, and shakes her roughly.
“Temari! Temari, wake up! Are you alright?” He uses his most authoritative tone.
“Uhhh…,” She groans as she begins to shake herself out of a seemingly deep sleep. “Wha… Where?... Gaara? How did I…?”
“Where is Mizuki? I cannot find her.” He tries desperately to keep his tone calm and cool.
“Mizu…? Oh shit!” Temari leaps out of bed and runs from the room. She runs straight to the window at the far end of the house, leaning outside. She punches the wall beside it with enough force to make the stone crack. “God damn her!! She tricked me! Oh…” she turns to Gaara with worry on her face. “Garra, I’m so sorry. I tried to stop her from leaving. I didn’t realize she could actually knock me out like that! I don’t even know what happened.”
“She left?” His tone is distant, but his mind is reeling with pain. Perhaps my actions this morning upset her… or perhaps she simply does not want to be around me…
“Yes, Gaara. Damnit, I swear I tried to stop her,” Temari’s face looks torn between rage and panic. “She’s not prepared to be out there on her own! She acted tough enough, but I could tell she’s still very weak. We can’t just let her die out there in the desert! We were lucky you found her in time last time.”
“Did she say why she was leaving?” He is afraid of her answer, but must ask. “Did I… Did I do something to upset her?”
“No! She just spouted some bullshit about protecting all of us!” Temari insisted. “Trust me, Gaara. I don’t think she wants to leave. It was the same stuff she had been spouting in the living room before, about her being a danger to us. But…” she looks conflicted, as if she’s not sure whether to continue.
“But what?” he demands.
“Gaara, you have to find her. You have to talk to her. I don’t…,” she chews her bottom lip in thought, looking at Gaara as if searching his eyes for an answer. “I don’t want to get your hopes up… but I’d swear that girl is crazy about you, big boy. Do you… Would you want her to stay with us; if you could get her to agree?”
“I…” he’s not sure how to respond. How should he explain this to her? Whenever he is with me… he’s not sure how to deal with his emotions, and his responses. “I want to protect her. I want her to stay here with us, and stop running.”
“Then you have to find her! From the look of the sun outside, I’ve been out for hours. One moment, we were sitting and talking on the roof. The next thing I know, she touches my hand and everything goes black!” she huffs. “Nice trick. I’ll have to watch for that next time.”
Gaara is surprised at the revelation also, and wonders idly about the extent of my abilities.
“I will find her.” He leapt lightly out the window and began searching immediately. He felt out along the sand, as far as he could reach, checking every movement. He apparently found me quickly; setting up camp. He sat and watched me all evening, and even heard the thoughts I had projected into the desert. He felt very self-satisfied, knowing I didn’t actually want to leave.
“That’s not fair!” I complain loudly, derailing his train of thought. “You knew how much I wanted to come back here. You used that against me.” I give him my best pout.
“It’s not fair that you can eavesdrop on my every thought either.” He replies in a cool voice. I suddenly feel guilty. I pull away from him, wrapping my arms around my knees.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I honestly try not to. It’s nearly impossible to block out people’s emotional… auras or responses. But I genuinely have tried to stay out of your thoughts. I… I know you’re a very private person.”
He doesn’t move, and I gasp in surprise as I feel sand gently wrap around my body and draw me back to him. “I do not blame you for what you are. This,” he points to my temple, “is part of you; like my sand is part of me. You cannot value one without the other. Both can be used for evil… or for the benefit of others. You should not hate it. You call it a curse, when others would call it a gift.”
“It is a curse,” I whisper once again, “It has only ever brought pain into the world. So many people have died Gaara, simply because people wanted to control me; to control my ability.”
“Yes.” He is silent for a long time. “Something has troubled me about that. I know you have the ability to see into other’s minds. I also know you can project images into other’s minds. You apparently can also cause physical reactions, like when you caused Temari to lose consciousness. What exactly is the extent of your power?”
“I’m honestly not sure.”
“Explain,” he says coolly, but then his look turns apologetic. “Please.”
I smile up at him in response, thrilled that he is softening to me in this way. “Well… it’s hard to explain, but I’ll try. Do you remember the dream I had about Orochimaru and Sasori?”
He nods solemnly.
“Up until that night… I didn’t even realize I had ever met Sasori. It’s like that part of my memory was missing. The more I think about it… I have a lot of moments like that. It feels like my memory is full of gaps and holes. Part of me wonders if that is what Sasori was doing. I suspect though… that he did much more than that.” I try to strain into the holes I feel in my memory, and my mind begins to burn.
“Do you… Do you remember what it felt like to me in my dream when Sasori was holding me down?” Gaara suddenly looks a bit pale at the memory of the burning sensation. He reaches up to stroke my face – to comfort me. “Whenever I try to think about what’s missing in those blank spots… I feel that same burning sensation. There’s something that concerns me much more though…”
“You believe he stole more than your memory?” he guesses.
“Not stole exactly… more like stopped. It’s like I’ve got… I don’t know – some kind of wall or seal or something around my mental abilities. I was never able to read Orochimaru’s thoughts. I always assumed it was because of his own power, but it would make sense for him to get Sasori to be able to prevent me from it entirely. They were both Atkatsuki members at the time. I never really tried to read his thoughts until I realized some of what he had planned for me – and then I simply couldn’t.”
“Interesting.” Gaara was silent again for a long time, thinking about what I had said. “But I still don’t understand what you’re current abilities are. As Kazekage, I should know so I can sufficiently protect the people of this village. As your lover… I would like to know how well you can defend yourself from this danger.” He leaned down to kiss my neck softly, squeezing me tighter against his body. I smile as I can feel his arousal stirring.
“Well,” I say slightly breathless, “Perhaps I could show you? That may be easier. Do you trust me, Gaara? I will have to link our thoughts together to show you.”
“Yes. Show me.”
I join my mind with his, and begin to reach out into the house. I can hear Temari thinking intently about the breakfast she is preparing downstairs. Kankuro is in the living room. He is aggravated that he could hear our lovemaking last night, and Gaara is surprised at the flavor of jealousy in his mind. I quickly move on, to avoid embarrassing Kankuro any further. I begin roaming through the conversations and thoughts swarming in the streets. Sometimes I am listening to a conversation through someone’s mind – like listening in through a speaker system. Other times I am aware of internal monologs of single individuals. I intentionally am scanning for any reference of myself, or a woman seen with the Kazekage.
This is how I learned about who you were, and who your family was before I met you, I explain to him. I didn’t have to be here long to learn a lot. You are in the thoughts of your people often – especially considering I arrived just after your resurrection. I can feel a sense of awe flowing through him. There doesn’t appear to be any news this morning… just the normal daydreams of your fan girls. Gaara is surprised again, and somewhat embarrassed by their various daydreams. They have no idea… I chuckle.
I begin to move out beyond the city streets, towards the walls of Suna. I can see the guards at their posts – and I am impressed by their alertness.
How far out can you go? Gaara asks me.
Hmmm… when I am just scanning… pretty far. A few miles maybe? We can both feel the edges of a burn beginning to form in my mind. If I am actively affecting the status of their mind, I am much more limited. I can have a greater influence perhaps over a mile or so.
What kind of effects can you have at that distance? Gaara asks. I try to find a safe way to answer his question. I find an elderly woman alone in her home. She is sitting at a desk, reading a letter from a friend. She is securely seated in her chair, so I touch her consciousness and she collapses the way Temari had before. This time, I specifically touch her so she will only be out for a few minutes.
Fascinaing… Gaara interjects. So you don’t actually require the physical contact?
No, but touch requires less energy from me. For my next demonstration I find one of the guards on the inner-most wall of the city. May I? Gaara grants permission without words. I reach out, and touch the pain center in the guards mind. He grabs his arm, which currently feels like it has suddenly been crushed, and collapses onto the ground. Just as quickly, I release him from the pain. I feel bad for his brief experience, but this was necessary. That was nothing. I explain to Gaara. From a distance, I can completely disable someone with pain. At close range, I can affect multiple people – or even kill them if necessary.
The burn in my mind is starting to increase, and become uncomfortable for both of us. I release his thoughts from my own, and put up all my mental walls to recuperate from the strain. When I gaze over at him, his eyes are wide.
“I never would have believed a shinobi that powerful could be beneath my nose in my own city.” Gaara states in a somewhat distant tone. “Much less be spending their nights in my arms.”
“Can you see now why I am always running? There are some who would kill me for my curse. Those are not as much of a concern. It’s the ones who wish to use me – as a weapon – which truly frighten me. This was Orochimaru’s plan from what I could piece together before I fled from him.”
“Is he the one who trained you as a shinobi?”
“Yes, although he only trained me in what was necessary for me to hide. Looking back on it… I think he didn’t want to give me any training or jutsu which could truly make me more powerful than my natural state. He was probably concerned with losing his ability to defeat me, if I were trained well.”
“What types of skills have you learned?” His face looks focused.
“Being raised in the Village Hidden in the Sound gave me a significant advantage. I have some vocal jutsu – and rhythm jutsu – which affect the elements and help cover my curse. I can stir the air with my voice, and create fire with the right rhythm. Also, while I am singing, you would believe that I am weaving a genjutsu – but you would never be able to release yourself from it, because I am actually projecting the image into your mind directly. Taijutsu is definitely my weakness. If it comes down to hand-to-hand combat – and my mental abilities are of no use to me, I can be killed fairly easily.”
Gaara suddenly goes very still, and his eyes shut tightly. He rests his hand over his heart. After a few long moments, his voice is rougher than before and asks, “Why have you allowed so many guardians to harm you?” He opens his eyes again, and traces a small white scar on my side from where one of my guardians stabbed me during my attempt to flee.
“It was rarely worth the risk of exposing myself. Any word of someone disabled or killed by abilities like mine make me easier to track. It is easier to heal wounds, than to silence the thoughts of entire cities. I know. I have had to try before.” Gaara brushes a tear from my face, which in my numbness I hadn’t even realized I’d allowed to fall.
“You are amazing,” he whispers against my lips. “Thank you for showing me all of this. I know… it must be very difficult.”
“I will never forgive myself if they hurt you because of this.” I admit, as another tear falls.
A sly smirk kicks up the corner of his mouth on one side. “Mizuki… you have no idea yet what I am capable of. Tomorrow I will show you.”
With that he rolls over, pressing his weight down on me and kissing me until I am dizzy. He makes love to me again, and then dresses and leaves for his tower.
- 16
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Love Me When I'm Gone

17. Power