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Denial	By : djserani Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female > Kakashi/Sakura Views: 4298 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: As always, I don't own the world or characters, I just like to torment them. Kishimoto-sensei gets to keep them permanently. (I make no money from it!)

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
Sugitani Hiroshi was taller than his bride by only a few inches. He had an open, friendly face, dark, thoughtful eyes and a quick laugh. Sakura liked him immediately.

Sakura and Kakashi took their places at the dinner table across from them as he apologized. "My father is not in town right at the moment. He isn't due back until tomorrow sometime."

"That's quite alright. It's really nice to meet you." Sakura grinned when he turned to give Maiko a kiss on the forehead.

"It is very nice to meet both of you. I want to thank you very much for taking such good care of Maiko on the trip. I would also like to thank you, Sakura, for helping her with her sickness."

Sakura shook her head. "The trip was nothing. It's our job. And Maiko was an easy escort. Not all of them are."

Kakashi chuckled."No, no they're not."

Hiroshi raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yes, our first ever escort mission together was rather disastrous, in fact. The client was less than truthful about the danger involved." Kakashi paused to take a sip of tea.

"It was my first major mission with him after I graduated from the academy. We were not ready for the kind of responsibility that the mission ended up being. Especially me." Sakura finished, quietly.

Kakashi glanced at her and squeezed her hand. "She handled it very well. Don't let her tell you otherwise. Not many genin teams right out of the academy would have worked together the way they did. Anyway, Maiko was the exact opposite. In fact, we only ran into one minor bump on the road."

"OH! I almost forgot about that!" Maiko started laughing. She turned to Hiroshi. "Do not, under any circumstances, make Sakura mad." She laughed when Sakura blushed. "We had a couple of highwaymen try to rob the carriage." She waved at him when he started to look alarmed. "No, no. Sakura took care of them. With one finger."

Sakura was nearly red. "It wasn't anything. Really. They weren't even ninja."

"It was so something! She flicked the one guy in the head and he flew backwards something like thirty meters!" She said with a laugh.

"Sakura is very modest." Kakashi put in. "Her master is one of the legendary Sannin - one of the three most powerful ninja to ever come out of the Five Great Shinobi nations. And the only one still alive. And she's apprenticed under her for several years. I believe she could very well pass her master up."

"Well, then, I will make sure I don't cross you. I'm even more in your debt, now." He smiled again.

"No, really. It wasn't anything." She cleared her throat and glared at Kakashi. There would be retribution. He just grinned behind his mask.

"Well, thank you anyway, for convincing her to be examined. I do appreciate it. I'm glad to know that she'll be getting better." He smiled over at Maiko and she blushed. Sakura fought a wistful sigh and swallowed. Dinner was served then and they quieted down for a bit as they dug in.

Kakashi couldn't miss the look on Sakura's face. It was hard to see Maiko and Hiroshi without being reminded of themselves. He concentrated on the fish in front of him, but he was having a hard time of it, too.

He knew that he'd go to her tonight. He knew they'd make love again and sleep next to each other again. And at some point before breakfast, he'd slip back into his room.

It had to be hurting her. After overhearing the things she'd said to Maiko, he knew she loved him. She hadn't said the words, but he understood now why she hadn't. At the time Sasuke had run away, they were all so focused on everything else going on. Hell, even he, Kakashi, was busy beating himself up for failing Sasuke instead of paying attention to her. Especially since Naruto had already started working with Jiraiya, by then, he should have put his energies into her training.

So, after all was said and done, he'd failed Sakura, too. There were times he really was a sorry excuse for a man. He glanced at her now and she was concentrating on eating, but there were still lines of strain around her eyes. She was still paler than she should be.

He fought the sigh. What were they going to do? After they left here, they didn't have to be so careful with no one around them, at least on the trip home, but then what? When they got back to the Leaf, the rule was still in place.

For once in his life, he found himself frustrated with the rules. He realized he wanted her. Not for a night, not for a few hours. He wanted to be able to hold her whenever he wanted, not when they could steal a few minutes. He wanted to be able to wake up with her every day. He wanted to see the shadows in her eyes gone.

So was it better to tell her he did love her to ease some of those? Because he knew it was true. He'd been fighting it for years, but he couldn't any more. He'd been denying that which was right in front of his face. It was just too damned bad the Sharingan didn't do much for his eyesight when it came to his feelings for her.

But then what? If he told her, if they kept this up, how long could they keep going? Someone, eventually, was going to see. They'd slip up at some point. Assuming, of course, that they didn't see it on his face when they saw them together. His mask only hid so much.

But could he turn away now? Could he just walk away? He glanced at her again and knew that he couldn't. But he had no idea what it was he could do.

If Sakura knew Kakashi's thoughts, she might have been able to enjoy her fish, at least a little. As it was, though she was sure it probably tasted great, she just had no idea. She was grateful when the dinner ended and she could escape to her room.

After showering and changing, she curled up on her bed, the window open, lost in thought. She hoped he'd come to her. He hadn't said anything when he walked her to her door, just left her there with a look she couldn't decipher.

The moon was full, the light bright. And she was so lost in thought, that she didn't see him at first. It wasn't until he said "hi" that she noticed the spiky-haired silhouette.

She smiled, feeling better just by him being there. "Hi."

He slipped in through the courtyard door and she stood to meet him. They didn't wait a second, instead he had her in his arms before she could fully stand. And then, like any other night they were together, the fears, the questions and the doubts faded. It was just them, just the feel of their skin, their lips and their touch.

When they'd burned their initial desperation out, they lay together quietly. "Will you stay?"

Kakashi looked down at her. "Yes."

He watched her face as relief passed over it and he realized she probably went through a similar process every night that he did. Would he come? Would he stay? How long? He kissed her forehead, wishing that he knew how to ease her fears, her pain.

But he couldn't, not really. What could he say? I'll always come to you? Even if he could make a promise like that - and he couldn't - it wasn't right. She deserved to have someone that she could be with openly, someone that she didn't have to hide, to lie about.

Maybe, as a ninja, she might never want marriage or children. He knew she was dedicated, putting her ninja and hospital duties ahead of everything else. She lived and breathed that life. But that didn't mean that she never thought about it.

Up until he'd overheard her, he might have said he knew that. But Sakura wasn't the open book he'd always thought she was. There was a lot more going on under the surface than he realized, and he wasn't quite so sure about everything that he once was.

He leaned down and captured her lips. He could do this, at least. He could make her forget for at least a while. He couldn't fix it, didn't know what the solution was for them, but they could at least enjoy it for as long as it lasted.

Sakura felt the difference in him that night. She couldn't have pointed at anything in particular that was changed, it just hadn't felt quite the same as the other nights they'd been together.

She didn't know why it didn't scare her as much to ask him to stay. Maybe because he'd already done so, already agreed. Maybe because it had felt different in some way. Whatever it was, she was just going to be glad for it.

She wished she could tell him. She wished she could ask him. She thought she knew the answer to her questions, but maybe not. Maybe it wasn't all that she thought it was. Maybe he really did love her. Despite what she'd said to Maiko, she didn't know if he was capable of it, or not. Maybe she'd just been telling herself that so that she wouldn't be disappointed when he didn't.

She was getting so tired of the questions, the doubts. She wanted to just be able to be with him. She wanted to stop wondering if he'd come to her. Stop wondering if he'd stay. She wanted him to stop having to come to her in the middle of the night. She wanted him every night, every morning.

When he started kissing her again, she let go of the questions and doubts again for another night. They'd still be there tomorrow. But she could shove them aside for the night. She could forget them for another few hours and just enjoy him.
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Denial