No Revenge Is As Complete As Forgiveness

A/N: FINALLY. I can't believe that my muse for this fic finally, FINALLY returned. By the time I posted the 15th chapter months ago I had totally run out of steam and I knew I had to stop for a while so that my batteries would recharge. I didn't realize it'd take this long though. Not to mention the dilemma how to proceed with Sasuke, given his development in the manga.



However, after months of inactivity it took me just a few days to write this chapter when I finally put my mind into it. Thank you for all who supported my decision to go back to writing this story - I really needed your encouragement.



CHAPTER 16



“Very well. Considering what we are asking of you, it would be cruel beyond words not to grant this request. Your brother will live, Itachi-san.”



Sasuke stared at the scene before him, at the people who forced his brother to kill their whole family and couldn’t even bring himself to feel angry. He felt numb, and empty. He had hoped, ever since he found out who really was behind his Clan’s death, that something like this had happened. That his brother hadn’t agreed to it just out of some misplaced loyalty to the village and immature idealism, and yet that hope had seemed false and bitter. Now that it was confirmed, he didn’t know how to react – it had been so much easier to blame Itachi for what had been done.



The boy kneeling before the elders bowed and his forehead touched the polished wooden floor, then gracefully climbed to his feet. His face was an expressionless mask.



“What you ask will be done.” He said calmly, voice even, almost mechanical – the perfect image of an obedient Shinobi. “However, know this – I will hold you to your promise to keep my brother safe. If you break your promise to me, I will come for you. And I will also make sure that the world knows about our deal, and about the truth behind my Clan’s demise.”



Red spots of anger bloomed on the Counsilor’s faces as he spoke, but Danzo and Sarutobi remained calm.



“And here I thought that you’d sacrifice everything for your village, Uchiha.” Danzo said, tone mildly sarcastic.



“There are things that cannot be sacrificed.” Itachi replied.



“Very well, Itachi. We will keep our promise to you. Your brother will be safe.” Sarutobi said.



Itachi made another respectful bow and turned on his heel to leave the room.



Sasuke followed numbly, watching him walk through Konoha’s streets with his head held high, shoulders squared, gait self-assured – the epitome of a proud and powerful Uchiha. People greeted him on the street, their voices and faces full of admiration – Itachi was a hero, after all – and his brother graciously greeted them back, smiling a neutral little smile, ever polite and collected.



Only when he reached their home, sat down and began to undo his sandals did his emotional state become more obvious – his shoulders sagged, all colour drained from his already pale face. He looked much older than his mere thirteen years.



“Nii-san!” Sasuke suddenly called behind him and the older boy jumped minutely. He must’ve been preoccupied with his thoughts not to notice Sasuke’s presence. Slowly, he turned around and looked at Sasuke, who was standing by the door and was looking at him with a pout on his little mouth.



“Sasuke.” He said, voice tired, but the smile that appeared on his face was genuine, not forced, even if it was a pained, brittle thing. How had Sasuke missed that? Had he been this blind to his pain?



“You promised to train with me and teach me to throw Kunai.” His younger self whined unhappily. As close as he was to Itachi he heard the small, agonized sound he made when the boy asked him that. Still, the warm smile did not slide from his face, and he beckoned him to come closer. Eager, little Sasuke ran towards him only to be poked in the forehead.



“Sorry, Sasuke. Another time.” Itachi told him and adult Sasuke quietly repeated the same words after him. This scene was forever burned into his memory – the last time he talked with his brother before everything went to hell. His younger self clearly didn’t understand the importance of the moment because he just pouted even further.



“But you promised!”



“You should be going to classes as it is.”



Sasuke sighed unhappily.



“Yes.” His face lit up. “But you’ll train me tomorrow then? Please?” the child that he had been sounded eager, his little face bright with love and admiration for his older sibling. Itachi’s smile finally disappeared and Sasuke noticed the way his face twitched in the effort to remain calm.



“Come here, Sasuke.” The boy looked at him with distrust, apparently expecting another poke.



“It’s okay. Come here.” Itachi repeated and his younger self finally complied. His older brother kneeled before him so that they could be on the same eye-level and gently reached to pet his hair, tucking an unruly lock behind his ear. “I want you to train very hard today. Stay as long as you want in the training grounds after classes. And tomorrow, if you impress me with what you’ve achieved today, I’ll train you, okay?”



The boy grinned widely, then threw his little arms around Itachi’s shoulders in an eager hug.



“Thank you. You’ll be proud of me tomorrow!” he stated, then turned around and ran for the door, grabbing his bag from the floor. “See you tonight!”



Itachi remained where he was for a few more moments, staring at the closed door, then slowly picked himself from the floor and leaned to put his sandals away, then made his way through the house.



“Itachi, honey, lunch will be ready soon!” his mother called from the kitchen and he paused, listening to her musical voice, swaying on his feet for a moment before finally entering his room sliding the door shut behind himself.



Finally alone, his brother bolted to the adjoining bathroom and Sasuke followed him closely, watching as he fell on his knees before the toilet and heaved, his entire body spasming with the effort to empty his stomach. Despite his efforts only some clear liquid came out – he must’ve not eaten anything for quite a while. A pair of gloved hands suddenly reached and pulled his hair away and Sasuke looked up, shocked to see Madara just standing there.



His presence, however, didn’t seem surprising to Itachi because he kept heaving until he was too exhausted to continue, finally just sitting on the tiles and pressing and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.



“What do you want?” he asked hoarsely.



“I came to see how things were going.” The masked nin replied, closed the lid of the toilet and sat down on it. “I take it they insisted?”



Itachi nodded.



“You could try to warn them. They’re your parents after all.” Madara suggested.



“They will never agree to grab Sasuke and just flee. Father is too proud and mother will do whatever he decides.” Itachi answered bitterly. “They will stay and fight and they will die in the most painful way possible.” He covered his face with his hands. “I cannot save them. Any of them. All I can do is make sure that they don’t suffer.” His voice was muffled behind his hands.



“I noticed you sent Sasuke away.”



Slowly his brother unfolded from the tiled floor and moved to the faucet to clean his face and his mouth and Sasuke noticed that his cheeks were streaked with tears, his eyes moist and bloodshot.



“I don’t want him to witness this.” He whispered.



“It’ll be tonight then.”



Itachi nodded wordlessly.



“Leave now. I need to be alone.”



The man’s body rippled and twisted and he faded into nothingness. Sasuke stared at the emptiness where he used to be, then his eyes slid to Itachi’s small form. He was still staring at his ashen face in the mirror, drops of water glittering on his pale cheeks. He couldn’t tell which ones were water and which tears.



A few moments later Itachi moved away from the mirror and dried his face, then went to his bedroom again and Sasuke followed him quietly, even if he knew that he couldn’t hear or see him. Itachi was crouching in front of the open chest where he kept his gear – his uniform, his weapons, his masks and other paraphelia. He was removing them from the chest and laying them down carefully on the tatami-covered floor.



A sudden knock on the door made them both jump in surprise and look up.



“Itachi, lunch’s ready, come to eat.” Their mother called. Itachi stared at the door, face so pale that Sasuke thought he’d faint.



“I’m not hungry.” He whispered.



“Itachi?” their mother sounded concerned. “Are you alright?”



His brother licked his lips and swallowed.



“I’m not hungry, Mother.” His voice was hoarse. “I wish to meditate.”



“Alright. But come down for dinner, please?” she told him gently and Sasuke heard her retreating.



A small, pained sound left his brother’s lips and Sasuke turned around to look at him – he was still kneeling on the floor, trying to unfold his uniform, his fingers trembling and clenching the smooth dark fabric. Itachi keened again and let go of the garment, rocking back and forth for a moment, fingers digging in his hair.



“Pull yourself together.” He whispered. “You’re doing this for them. For him. Calm down.”



Sasuke didn’t need anyone to tell who “him” was. His brother was doing this for him, sacrificing everything for the flimsy hope that he, Sasuke, would be spared. Their parents would’ve been killed regardless of whether Itachi did it or not, his cooperation only ensured that their passing would be as quick and painless as possible, and most importantly, his cooperation meant that Sasuke would live.



The figure at his feet kept rocking back and forth in abject misery and then a soft sob wracked the small form. Unable to control himself anymore he lifted his hand and reached for him, his only wish to take him in his arms and comfort him, shield him from the pain inflicted on him by those who should’ve known better than to take advantage of the fears of a traumatized child.



The world around him began to blur again, much more violently than before, reality fading to red and black, the sound of screams and steel crashing against steel, of his own little voice pleading with Itachi to explain what was going on, what happened to their parents. The darkness was all around him, closing in on him, suffocating him, no longer trying to reform back in another memory. He was alone, trapped in an endless cycle of fear and pain and there would be no escape, no reprieve…



Suddenly a strong, warm hand grabbed his wrist and pulled, forcefully dragging him through the darkness until he was pressed against a body slightly larger than his, another hand wrapping around his middle, securing him in place.



“It’s okay, Sasuke.” Pein said gently. “Hold onto me.”



He wrapped his arms around him and held on for dear life, closing his eyes against the darkness, the screams slowly fading into silence.



When he opened his eyes again he realized it was night, the full moon above them bathing everything in silvery glow. They were out on the street again, bodies strewn around them, dark, wet spots splattered on the ground and the walls of the houses.



His younger self was standing in the middle of the street, swaying on his little feet, face streaked with tears and mucus as he wept while his brother, cool and calm looked down on him as if he were staring at an insect about to crawl into his food.



"Foolish little brother, if you wish to kill me, hate me, detest me. And yet survive in an unsightly way. Run, run and cling to life."



Those words were branded into his mind forever and both Sasukes gasped, the child finally losing his grip on consciousness, his eyes rolling back into his head, small form sliding down on the ground like a puppet with cut strings.



Itachi stared at him, his calm expression shattering as tears spilled on his cheeks. He walked up to him and gently turned him over, then lifted him and carried him back to garden of their house, then carefully put him on the wooden porch. His fingers trembled as he smoothed his hair.



“I’m so sorry, Sasuke.” He whispered. “I’m sorry I had to do this to you. It’s the only way to keep you safe from them.”



“We should go.” Madara suddenly said and all three of them – Itachi, Pein and adult Sasuke whirled around to look at him.



He looked the same as earlier, only now he too carried a bloodied sword. Itachi’s expression hardened as he looked at him.



“There’s time. I wish to stay with him a little longer.”



“Very well. I’ll wait for you outside the village, by the west gate in the forest. Be quick about it.” And he melted away in the darkness.



Itachi turned to his younger self again and cradled him in his arms, petting his head with almost painful intensity.



“I’m sorry, Sasuke.” He repeated again, clutching at his small form.



“Go to him.” Pein whispered quietly and the adult Sasuke looked up before focusing again on his brother, shocked to discover that he was no longer the scrawny teenaged boy dressed in a blood-stained ANBU uniform – it was the adult that now lived with him, garbed in the pants and shirt carrying the Uchiha crest.



Pein gently pushed Sasuke forward.



“Go.”



He took a few hesitant steps towards him.



“Itachi?”



There was no response, no indication that Itachi registered his presence. Sasuke turned to look at Pein questioningly but he only nodded and gestured for him to keep trying.



Sasuke reached and touched his shoulder.



“Nii-san?”



Itachi suddenly flinched from his touch but did not turn to look at him.



“So you do know I’m here.” Sasuke murmured sadly.



His brother shuddered and finally looked up at him, his dark eyes glittering with unshed tears in the moonlight.



“You shouldn’t be here.” He whispered.



Sasuke stared at his much younger form, still clutched in Itachi’s arms.



“I shouldn’t be, but I am, nii-san.” He answered, then sat down next to him on the porch and noticed that Pein had retreated back on the street to give them privacy. In here, surrounded by the lush vegetation their mother cared for so lovingly, it was almost possible not to believe everything was alright, that their family was fast asleep around them, not lying slaughtered in the house.



“Why did you come?” Itachi asked him softly.



“Because you’re my brother.”



Itachi snorted derisively.



“I am hardly worthy of the title.”



“I can’t think of anyone more worthy than you.” Sasuke tried to reach for him again but he was met with another flinch. He didn’t give up this time and grabbed Itachi’s forearm, pulling him closer. “Don’t turn away from me. Please.”



“I never understood why you took me in.” Itachi told him, but stopped resisting when Sasuke hugged him.



“You’ve always taken care of me. It was natural to take care of you as well.”



His brother looked at the child lying prone next to them.



“You call this care? I hurt you so terribly, I killed mother and father and everyone else, I abandoned you, I…”



“Shhh.”



Gentle fingers lifted Itachi’s chin to look up at Sasuke.



“You saved my life, more than once. You made sure that I would survive when the village turned against me. And our family…” he swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Before we came here, Pein asked me if I had forgiven you and if not, if I was capable of it.” Itachi stiffened in his arms and Sasuke gently began to pet his back and shoulders in an effort to soothe him. “I told him I didn’t know. I do now.”



“Sasuke…”



“Let me finish. Now that I know the whole truth, I know I can forgive you. It will take time for both of us to heal, but I can and I will forgive you. All I am asking is for you to come back to give me that time. Please, nii-san.” His voice broke in the end and he closed his eyes in an effort to hold back his tears. “Please don’t leave me again.”



Itachi gazed in his tearful eyes and slowly let go of the child in his arms, gently setting the small body on the porch, then lifted his hand and caressed Sasuke’s smooth cheek.



“You’ve grown so much. I wish I could see you, really see you.” He whispered and Sasuke closed his eyes, a single glistening tear sliding down his cheek. He nuzzled the hand cupping his face and sighed when he felt Itachi’s lips on his forehead, on the same place where he poked him when he teased him. The lips moved down to his cheek, then settled on his mouth in a tender, loving kiss.



“Let’s go home.”