Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Firsts
By : djserani
Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male
Views: 1305 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! I make no money off of this!
Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
REMINDER:This story takes place in Darkprism's Monoshizukanohi Universe. Though the appearances of Monoshizukanohi locations in this series of stories is minor, it does exist and that world belongs to her. She graciously allows me to play.
Secondly, this story is relatively tame, but the boys ARE, technically, underage . So, technically, I need to add the "minor" warning.
Rest of the warnings for this chapter: Language, Anal

* * *

Izumo was just finishing up the last of his physics homework when his mom humphed from the general direction of the refrigerator. He'd had to struggle through quite a bit of it, having not been able to pay enough attention in class like he should have the last couple of months, so he was grateful to put it down. "Something wrong, Mom?"
She looked over her shoulder at the table. Kotetsu and Kenji had also looked up from their books. "Oh, um, we're just out of milk. Can't make the potatoes without it."
"I can go get some for you." Izumo offered, flipping his book closed.
"I'll go," Kotetsu quickly put in, looking over Izumo.
Izumo met his gaze for a moment then glanced at Kenji, who was also watching him. "No, it's okay. I… I want to. I can make a quick trip for milk."
"I'd appreciate it, honey," his mom said a little too casually. He tried to ignore her tone as he put his stuff back together and shoved it into his backpack.
"Tetsu, do you have the keys?" He asked, turning to the other two.
"They're in our room," he said, getting up. He disappeared down the hall and returned a moment later with them, handing them to Izumo and using the excuse to pull his friend aside. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"
"Yeah. I… I need to get used to it, Tetsu. It's okay. It really is a short trip." Izumo forced a smile and took the keys from his friend.
"If you're sure." He paused. "Do you want us to go with you?" Kotetsu asked.
Izumo shook his head. "Really, it's fine."
Kotetsu looked him over another few seconds then finally nodded. "Okay. Well, then, see you in a bit."
It annoyed Izumo no small amount that it was even an issue. It was annoyance at himself, more than anything, because he didn't like what he was right then, didn't like that he was a ticking damned time bomb. He marched out of the house, determined to be adult about it and just go and do what he had to do.
His first step faltered at the end of the sidewalk. He blinked at the jeep, but then he shook his head and kept going. He walked around the back then he unlocked the driver's side door, but paused again when he went to climb in. It was only because he was standing in the street and a car came down the road at that point that he was spurred into climbing up.
Finally, once he was in the driver's seat and moving, it wasn't so bad. He could concentrate on the driving itself, shifting gears and traffic so that he didn't have time to be upset by anything. The trip to the store was relatively short, and traffic at that point was nice and light.
Milk jug in hand, he approached the checkout and saw a small bucket of flowers by the register. On impulse, he paused and considered them then, after some deliberation, picked up a bunch for his mom. He'd figure out a way to make it up to Tetsu, too, because he needed to for all he'd put him through.
The clerk was nice, but impersonal and Izumo was rather glad of it. He didn't really want to try to answer the typical "how are you today" question that was always asked, because he was afraid he'd end up giving an honest answer. And he really didn't want to do that because he didn't think she really wanted to hear it.
He slowed again when he approached the jeep, but took a deep breath, dropped the milk on the floor by the passenger seat and flowers on the seat itself and started it up again. But this time when he approached the street, the traffic was awful. He leaned forward around a sign next to him to see a line of people streaming out of the church across the street. Right. Sunday.
He sighed and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He tried to keep his gaze on the people flooding the street, but it didn't hold his attention. He blew out a breath and looked around at the other traffic. Despite himself, he caught a glimpse of the picture under the radio, but he patently ignored it.
But the silence was starting to get to him. He drummed his fingers again and cursed his timing. If he'd been just a couple of minutes faster, he might have missed the people and traffic altogether. If he hadn't stopped for the flowers… he shook his head. It didn't matter, he was here now.
He finally gave in and twisted the dial on the radio, turning the power on. The static hit first then it settled into music.
We can be like they are… Come on baby, don't fear the reaper…
He rolled his eyes and hit the "seek" button. The next station, he knew, was a harder metal station. That could be good. He raised his eyebrow when he heard the drum break, then…
Don't know what you got till it's gone…
"Oh for fuck's…" he grumbled and hit the button again. Okay, he knew the next one was country. Maybe they'd be singing about their truck breaking down or their dog dying or something. That, he could deal with.
Is the love I gave her in the past… Gonna be enough to last… If tomorrow never comes...
"Holy shit. Is this torture Izumo by the radio day?" He growled and jabbed at the seek button again a little surprised he let the song get that far. While the radio hit the end of the numbers and wrapped around, skipping quite a bit before it landed on 95.5, another country station, he watched the street. It still hadn't moved, so he turned his attention back to the radio. He gritted his teeth, finger poised on the button again.
How do I live witho-
He didn't even let the full line get through. He was starting to shake. This was a bad idea. He'd punched the seek button and didn't pay attention at first to what was playing because the traffic finally started to move and he needed to watch what he was doing. He dropped his hand to the stick shift and pulled out onto the street.
He was able to ignore the station for a couple of minutes while he navigated around cars and through lights, but the next few lines caught his attention-
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me
Un-break my heart,
say you'll love me again
-- and he gritted his teeth harder, reaching up to change the station again.
As he went to hit the button, though, or better yet, give up and turn the fucking thing off, someone behind him honked and he realized he was sitting at a green light. He forced his attention back to the road, so he didn't notice the song end and another one start. He made the turn back onto their street, and as he was pulling into the spot, the lyrics finally got through to him. He managed to turn the engine off, but then he could do nothing but sit stone still and listen.
Just think of me
And I'll be there
Don't be afraid, oh my love
I'll be watching you from above
And I'd give all the world tonight,
To be with you
'Cause I'm on your side
And I still care
I may have died,
-- At this point, the tears started falling in earnest. He tightened his hands around the wheel, his gaze fixed on nothing in the current time or space. He saw only a set of dark eyes, a dimple and a half-smile, one that had been only for him.
But I've gone nowhere
Just think of me,
And I'll be there
He gripped the wheel in shaking hands, unable to reach for the stereo much less twist the fucking knob to turn it off. He knew his cheeks were soaking wet, knew that he was making those damned sounds again, but he couldn't stop. He wrapped his arms around the steering wheel as if it was him, as if he could somehow hug Hayate instead and dropped his head onto the plastic that had been smoothed from so much use. Use by hands he missed. Hands that had touched him to calm, touched him to soothe, touched him to give pleasure…
"Oh God…" the words echoed around the confined space, bounced back to him and he heard just how much pain was in his voice and it only made the hurt morph into anger. He screamed at the steering wheel, a shouted "FUCK!" that cut off in another strangled sound he didn't want to identify. He tightened his hands and the anger drained as fast as it hit. He collapsed back down, his forehead hitting plastic with a quiet thunk! and let the tears flow unimpeded.
He didn't hear the station change songs, didn't pay attention to the things the DJ said. He only vaguely registered a Duran Duran song and something about coming undone when the door opened and Tetsu's hands tugged on him. He saw Kenji out of the corner of his eye reach across and twist the key in the ignition and pull it out.
He slid out of the jeep and into his friend's arms then let Tetsu manhandle him onto the sidewalk and up to the house. When they got onto the porch, he pulled himself together and paused at the door, seeing Kenji holding the milk and flowers. "Um, I… just want a minute." He started to turn then said, "I'll be okay," in a soft voice at the look the other two gave him. They stared another moment then they opened the front door and he moved to the rocker his mother kept on the front porch.
Tetsu let him go and they went into the house. Izumo sat down on the rocker, staring into nothingness. He tried to get control of his emotions again for what felt like the millionth time since he'd awakened on Friday night from his dream to discover Tetsu's nightmares. He'd been sucker-punched by the song, hadn't been expecting it at all, even with the other ones that had come up in his station-hopping.
He'd heard that particular song before, of course, but he hadn't paid much attention to it because, at the time, it hadn't applied to him. He swallowed hard, trying to dislodge his lump and worked to get his breathing calmed down once more. His eyes focused on the railing in front of him and there were the shallow dents in the soft weathered wood.
He remembered the night those got there. A year and two months ago. Tetsu had been gripping the railing hard, fighting with the demons of his past, his mother, her john. All of it had been brought on over the mess with Hayate and Kenji.
He leaned forward and ran his finger over the depression. It reminded him well of the fact that he'd made the determination to start worrying more about the living. It reminded him of the promise he'd made to Kotetsu and the one he'd made to himself to try harder to keep that promise.
He missed Hayate… missed him so much. He closed his eyes and let the ache surface for a moment. He brought the feel of Yate's arms around him to his mind and wrapped his own around himself trying to hold onto it for just one more moment.
He knew he would miss him for a long time and the ache wouldn't go away anytime soon. But he had to remember that there were living people in his life that needed him, needed him to be better than he had been. There were living people that wanted him to be part of them, part of the living, part of life.
The reminder of Tetsu, of the promise he'd made helped to steady him. He took a breath and realized that he could, so he took another, deeper one. Then he stood and headed into the house. He had friends to be with.

The phone was ringing. He didn't want to answer it, knew it was a call he didn't want to take. He knew that the caller would tell him something he didn't want to hear. He looked around the kitchen, maybe to get someone else to answer it and saw the dirty dishes in the sink, dishes Tetsu was supposed to be washing, but he wasn't there.
No one was. That was strange. His mother should be there, too. He knew this night, knew what it was. Where was everyone?
He turned back and stared at the phone, willing it to silence. If he waited long enough, they'd give up and he wouldn't have to hear it. If he didn't answer it, he wouldn't have to face the news it would give.
But it wouldn't stop ringing. It wouldn't quit. He'd lost count of the rings at twenty and he gave up and reached out tentatively to lift the receiver off of the hook. His hands were shaking badly, so badly that he dropped it as soon as he picked it up. He snatched at the long cord, trying to keep it from hitting the floor.
Then he thought that if he let it hit the floor, it would break and they couldn't talk to him. Too late, he realized, he'd already caught it.
He lifted the phone to his ear. "H-h-hello?" He said, and his voice sounded strange. Besides being shaky, it was breathless and… deeper than he thought it should be. He didn't understand it, but it was a dream - he recognized that much. Then he didn't think too much about it at all because the voice that came through the line startled him.
"Zumo?" Hayate's voice asked.
"Yate?" He blinked at the phone, wondering why it was different than he remembered. Then he shook his head and focused back on the voice on the line. "Yate! You're… alive?" Izumo asked.
"Of course, I am." Yate's patient voice said. "I'm not the one who died, Zumo. Are… are you okay?" Hayate asked, sounding concerned.
"Okay? No, I'm not okay! Why would I be okay? I mean. I'm so happy you're alive and okay! But… Yate, if you… if you're not dead… and… you're not the one who…?" Izumo shook his head in confusion.
"No, Zumo. I'm not. Um, I was just there, but I had to go home, or I'd still be there to help you. It's why I called. I was worried. Don't tell me, you don't remember…?" He let the question go and Izumo's eyebrows dropped into a scowl of confusion at the tone of Yate's voice.
"What do you mean, remember? What's there to remember? Nothing's happened! I mean, it did to you, you're dead! But, you're not. So, there's nothing to remember." He was starting to really freak out.
"Oh, Zumo. I'm… God, this sucks." Yate sounded… scared? Sad? Resigned? "How many times are we going to have to say this?" He asked with exaggerated patience almost like he was talking to a child, though Izumo knew somehow he wasn't expecting an answer. "Zumo… it was Tetsu. He's the one that's gone. Don't you remember? He took the jeep out? Went for milk for your mom?"
"No! No, that's not what happened! Tetsu was home with me when your mom called! It was you, Yate, not Tetsu! You were… oh God, you were shot. D-drive by." His stuttering voice went up an octave in fear. Nothing was making sense! "You took a wrong turn! You were running late and tried to take a shortcut, but it was the wrong way and you ended up in a bad part of town!" He could hear the panic taking over. "You did 'cause you didn't leave me when you were supposed to! You stayed too late, because I asked you to, because I didn't want to let you go!" His voice rose even higher in pitch as he went so that he was nearly shrieking by the time he got to the end.
Then he stopped, trying to control his voice through the confusion. "And you died." He whispered. "You died because of it… because of me…" He broke, then, the tears finally coming through the confusion, panic and fear.
"No, Zumo, no, baby, I'm okay. I'm alive. I'm fine." Izumo heard the gulp over the line. "Zumo, it was Tetsu… Tetsu went out. He… he got shot. At the convenience store. Oh baby, I'll come over, I'll come right back. Just stay there and hang on…" Hayate hung up, but Izumo didn't hear the click, didn't register the fast disconnect beeping. He was staring in horror at the sink of suds, suds that weren't there a minute ago. The water was running, water that no one had been there to turn on. Because there was still no Tetsu standing there, like he was supposed to be. Was… Tetsu… was he…
He started shaking his head. No. No no no no. Oh God, no, not Tetsu! Not him. His whole body shook as the horror and fear took over.
'Would… oh God, would I trade them? Would… do I wish… Do I wish it had been Tetsu?'
But he knew the answer to that, didn't need to say it even if his dream self didn't agree.
'NO! No, I don't. Tetsu can't be dead! No. Give me Tetsu back, please. I couldn't… I can't… not without him. Not without Tetsu…'
His words started to merge together, scared, now, out of his wits.
'No, Tetsu, don't go. Please, Tetsu… don't… ohGod, don'tdie, youcan'tdie…no…'

"ZUMO!"
Izumo sat bolt upright in bed. He had tears streaming down his cheeks, his hands were shaking and he couldn't seem to focus on anything. He kept seeing the sink in the kitchen with the suds and the water running where his best friend had been the night they'd gotten the call about Hayate. Where, in his dream, Tetsu wasn't.
He felt hands on him and he knew them. Knew those hands. Not Hayate's hands, they were Kotetsu's hands, his best friend. He rolled into the arms and let them wrap around him, whimpers escaping from his throat. "I'm here, Zumo. I'm okay. Shhh." Kotetsu's voice drifted to him.
The world started to right itself and settle into place then when he felt Tetsu touching him and his tears slowed. Tetsu was running hands over his back, smoothing his hair down, dropping kisses on his head. His breathing steadied, his heart slowed back to a normal pace and he could begin to think clearly again.
What the hell had that been?
He snuggled further into his friend, seeking the scent, the warmth that was Kotetsu. He tried to figure out the dream, tried to understand what that had been about, but he couldn't quite sort it out. The biggest thing that kept at him, the thing that bothered him the most was the fear. It had hurt to think about Hayate again, no doubt about that, but it was even worse at the thought of losing Tetsu.
And not because it was in addition to losing Hayate. No. The fear was so sharp because he'd been thinking of losing Tetsu instead of Hayate.
They were best friends. That's why, that's all. That's what he told himself, anyway then he pushed it away the best he could and instead concentrated on the solid heartbeat under his ear, on the arms around him.
"Tetsu…" he whispered not knowing the fear was leaking through his voice and he felt the lips on the top of his head.
"Zumo. Are you okay?" Kotetsu asked.
He nodded against the chest, tightening his arms around his friend. "I am now."
"Do you remember it? Do you want to talk about it?" Tetsu asked.
He shook his head. "No, not really. I don't remember much of it at all and I'm not sure what it means."
"Want to tell me what you do remember?"
He wasn't being entirely truthful and he knew it. He didn't quite know why he didn't want to tell Tetsu what had been there at the end of his dream, what he'd been so afraid of. So again, Izumo shook his head. "I'd rather just try to forget about it."
Kotetsu didn't say anything at first, just continued to rub his friend's back, drop light kisses on the top of his head. Izumo thought for a moment that he would call bullshit, but finally, he asked in a quiet voice, "Would you like help forgetting?"
"Oh God yes." His breath shuddered out of him. "Tetsu… need you…" He didn't pay attention to what he was saying, just knew the relief he felt that it was a dream and it was over. "Need to feel you…" he murmured, dropping kisses along the skin under his face.
Kotetsu tilted his chin up and captured his lips in a kiss that told Izumo just how much Tetsu had figured out. He shoved it away, refusing to face it right then. Instead, he took the comfort, took the touches, took the need and want he felt from Tetsu and returned it in spades.
Hands ghosted over skin, lips reassured and reminded: they were both alive and both okay. When Izumo pushed into Tetsu a little later and filled him, the world finally felt right again. Everything felt right when he was here, when they were like this. He couldn't have put a name to that, didn't quite understand why it was, he just knew it was.
He buried his face in the back of Tetsu's neck, taking in the scent. He nuzzled the sensitive skin there, savoring the feel of the soft black hair against his face. And when lips met lips, the kiss simply reinforced how it all felt, how it all seemed just… right.
And then he felt the tremors and muscles clamp down as Tetsu came, and he heard his name called. Then he let himself go, shouting his friend's name into the shoulder under him as his own climax took him. Somewhere along the way, he wrapped his arms around Kotetsu and Tetsu wrapped his around Izumo's. They fell to their sides, Izumo curled tightly around Tetsu's back and he stayed there, still inside, still connected, neither willing to change that as they drifted off to sleep.

Songs with lyrics used in this chapter:

(Don't Fear) The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult from "Cult Classic" (c) 1994

Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone) by Cinderella from "Long Cold Winter" (c) 1988

If Tomorrow Never Comes by Garth Brooks from self-titled album (c) 1989

How Do I Live by Trisha Yearwood from "Songbook" (c) 1997 (yes, it just barely makes the timeframe. :P)

Un-Break My Heart by Toni Braxton from "Secrets" (c) 1996

And finally: I'll Be There by The Escape Club from "Dollars and Sex" (c)1991
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Firsts	By : djserani Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1305 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! I make no money off of this!

Firsts