The Blessed Realm

Chapter One Hundred Forty-Seven: Gone missing

Sasuke and Naruto again had to turn their attention to the stage, as Killerbee prepared to play a song for Naruto.

“A song from one jinchuuriki to the other,” he said. “Be aware! I'll show you the full power of the Eight Tails of the village of Cloud.”

Sasuke suspected it would rather be the power of his amplifiers.

“I'll wait outside,” he told Naruto. “There's still the possibility that I'll turn blind when I'm old. I don't want to turn deaf too.”

“I'll come with you,” Naruto said, not wanting to be separated from Sasuke again.

Sasuke shook his head. “He plays for you. You have to stay and listen.”

He went to the kitchen and began to put the plates and glasses into the dish-washer, happy about the break. He was content with the way the party had turned out and he enjoyed talking to people he knew, but it were too many people at a time for his taste, even though he had invited them all.

Also, suddenly being in the focus of attention had not been part of his plan, and he still needed time to digest the experience. He had grown used to the fact that someone like Naruto would get more attention and admiration in Music Town than he did. Actually even in Konoha he had not cared about the admiration and praise he had got from everyone. His aim had been to become strong enough to defeat Itachi, and thus honour his parents, not to secure himself Sakura's or Ino's undying love.

Now he wanted to be a good policeman. Working hard he had managed to become one of the top students again, though not the top student (who was a girl), and just a few days ago the head of the police had joined him at his table in the canteen and told him that he had heard from his teachers that he was doing well, and that he was happy about it, and that he was glad that his decision to accept him as a policeman in training had turned out a good decision. There were some points Sasuke was hopelessly bad at, as sorting out petty conflicts between drunk people, and Naruto, who was good at it, made fun of him because of it, but Sasuke didn't care: His aim was to learn to hunt down the big criminals, those who pulled the strings behind the scene.

The husband of the guy from Earth Country joined him in the kitchen.

“There you are,” he said, casually touching Sasuke's shoulder.

“Don't do that,” Sasuke said. “If Naruto sees us he'll get crazy.”

“He's not here,” the man said; still he accepted Sasuke's wish and sat down opposite to him.

“My husband got pretty jealous too. He has told me again and again that true love means to trust that the other will return after he had a one-night-stand or an affair with someone else, but now he has discovered that this kind of trust is much more difficult in practice than in theory, and that it's quite impossible if there's a concrete person I might have sex with, and if that person is one of the most handsome men in town.”

Sasuke heard the compliment, but decided not to react to it.

“Does he still insist on an open relationship?” he asked.

“He hasn't talked about it for a while.”

“You must be glad about it.”

“I'm not certain. I don't know whether he only stays with me out of habit. I don't know what he sees in me.”

Sasuke did not answer: giving advice or consolation was both beyond his capacity.

“I have to consider whether I want to stay with him,” the man continued.

“Stay with him,” Sasuke said. “He loves you.”

For a few seconds the man seemed to consider Sasuke's words, then he spoke again. “What I wanted to tell you: people miss you inside.”

“It's not my music” Sasuke replied. “It hurts my ears. Also, I need a break. Naruto loves being surrounded by people. I don't. It's his party, not mine.”

“It's your party too. You organized it. People are wondering where you might be.”

“What about Naruto?"

“He misses you too. He always does when you're not at his side. You know that, don't you? And it's not only him: Others have asked about you too.”

“As I said: I need a break. I'll return in time.”

Leaving the kitchen the man touched Sasuke's shoulder again. Against his will Sasuke felt moved: He, too, was missed in Music Town, even though he did not fit in as well as Naruto did. He, too, was considered a capable dancer. He'd also learn about music, and find some music he enjoyed. He'd learn to play a musical instrument: He had found one already, after all. He just needed to find a teacher.

He waited until not only Killerbee, but also Suigetsu had finished playing with his band. He had asked them both to play, but he did not want to listen to them. Even when they had finished he waited for a while before he returned to the party: he still needed some time to think, and also he did not want to make it apparent that he avoided Killerbee's and Suigetsu's music.

When he finally returned to the party he could not find Naruto. He looked among the dancers, he looked among the people who were watching the dancers from the sidelines or getting themselves some food at the buffet, he waited for some minutes because there was always the possibility that Naruto had gone to the bathroom (though not for that long actually), he went outside to see whether Naruto had wanted some fresh air. He returned to the room where the party was taking place, but still he could not find Naruto. He looked for him in the kitchen where he himself had taken a break, and then in the changing rooms that surrounded the big room: in one of them he found Naruto surrounded by their guests' coats, reading.

“Our guests are enjoying themselves,” he said. “They don't need me at the moment. But the book needs to be read, or rather I need to read the book, or whatever. It's just that this is the best book I read since my arrival in Music Town. It's what I longed for since I heard of Jiraiya's dream of peace.”

Sasuke did not say anything: There was again the serious, dreamy expression on Naruto's face he loved so much. He sat down next to him, laying his arm around Naruto, and when Naruto did the same to him he offered his free hand to help Naruto hold the book. He kissed Naruto's cheek, but not his mouth, because he did not want to turn his attention from the book. Together with Naruto he read a paragraph that explained how violence would always breed more violence, and he held the book while Naruto turned the pages.

With time people joined them. They had also noticed that Naruto had gone missing from the party, and had set out to look for him. For a while they didn't speak, still when Naruto noticed them he realized that his behaviour – withdrawing from his own birthday party – had been impolite.

“It's the book,” he said. “It's about people who longed for peace, just as I do. It's about people who created peace without fighting. At Konoha I was taught to fight in order to create peace, but even then I sensed that something was wrong with the idea. Now I learn about the real thing: that in order to preserve peace you must not fight. The book tells about men who drove invaders out of their country and who ended oppression without ever spilling a drop of blood. They weren't cowards, and they didn't simply give in, but they stood up to their opponents, only that they did so without fighting. They believed in the power of their words, and in the strength of their faith, and people listened to them. They were all religious in one way or another. The Rikudo was one of them, actually. He was able to connect to nature and to harness her chakra, but he connected to people too, and so he couldn't fight them, as he knew that fighting them he would fight himself. He's one in a long line of people who did everything they could to further peace and to end oppression. And in the end he got killed, just as they were. I've read the biographical notes at the end of the book: most of them were killed. They sacrificed themselves for their convictions, and for peace. That's what will happen to me too.”

People listened. They were speechless.

“It's your birthday,” the guy from Earth Country finally said. “You just turned seventeen. You don't talk of death and sacrifice.”

Naruto shook his head. “I won't seek out death,” he said. “I won't need to. And I won't allow anyone to tell me to sacrifice myself. I will die for my own dream, and my own convictions, and my own faith. It will simply happen when I least expect it. This is what happened to the people in my book. They didn't want to die, and they didn't choose to die. Still they were murdered by people for whom killing them was the only way to deal with the challenge they presented. Abandoning their convictions and falling silent would have been the only way to avoid this.”

“I did not know that the Rikudo got killed” ,Sasuke said. “I thought he died from old age.”

“They don't tell the truth to children in the ninja countries,” Naruto said. “They don't even tell the truth in the books aimed at children they offer here in Music Town. They tell them he died from old age at the height of his power, that he walked away from his people when he felt that death was nigh, in order to die on his own in the wilderness, and that he killed one last demon before he died. They want to give the young academy students a role model to admire and strife after: they want them to train hard in order to become strong, so they tell them that the Rikudo was strong until the end too. They don't tell them that in the end he was weak and thin as any old man, and that he was killed by a simple murderer when he no longer thought that anyone might attack him: a man who could not bear the Rikudo's teachings because they ran counter his own beliefs. He thought that killing the Rikudo would put an end to his teachings. He did not consider that words can't be killed with kunai, and that the Rikudo's teachings would live on after the Rikudo's death. But this is how people who believe in peace die. I'll die that way too.”

“You don't talk of death now,” the guy from Earth Country repeated. “You're seventeen: there's many years lying ahead of you.”

“I won't be able to avoid it. Turning silent will be the only way, and this is what I won't do.”

It happened that just now the book was open at the table of contents. It told the names of the people who had written the texts in the book, but also the years of their birth and death. Sasuke did some calculations: most of them had lived to their old age. He felt comforted. He thought that it made sense: Even though Naruto liked to talk of peace he had not yet developed any radical theory that might gain him the hatred of those who did not believe in peace. He'd need some time for this.

“Were the people in your book celibates?” he asked. “I'm happy with everything, as long as you don't send me away like the Rikudo did with his wife.”

“Most of them were married, and stayed with their wives,” Naruto answered.

“Then I'll stay with you, and see that you won't get killed.”

To his own surprise the idea of Naruto following the people in the book did not disturb Sasuke as the idea of Naruto following the toad in order to create peace. Maybe this was the case because Naruto following the people in his book did not imply their immediate separation, maybe it was because he saw again the expression on Naruto's face he loved so much, better even than his expression when they were having sex – Naruto when he was serious, Naruto when he read about the Rikudo, Naruto when he dreamt of peace. He looked as if he was from some other world. He had not looked like this when he had talked to the toad: then he had looked confused and disturbed.

Naruto laid his arm around Sasuke and caressed his hands.

“When my time has come you won't be able to protect me,” he said.

“You won't die, or get killed,” the guy from Earth Country said for the third time. “Stop talking of death. You hurt those who love you.”

“I can't live only for myself,” Naruto said.

“You live for yourself when you phantasize about dying as a martyr, not thinking of those who'll lose you. If you want to live for others you need to live, not to die. You live for others as you live now: All of us are happy that you're with us.”



“I won't seek death,” Naruto said. “This much I will promise. It's just that the way I've chosen for myself will eventually lead to my death. But I will see that before this I will have time to work for peace.”

No one had an answer to this. After a minute of silence Naruto changed to his everyday self that was still a bit naive and childish.

“Let's go back to the party,” he said.

They returned to the big room. A lot of people had already left, but the DJ was still present and played for those who remained. Naruto only danced with Sasuke now: they needed each other now. Even if one day Naruto was going to die they still had each other. Naruto did not even mind that Sasuke was leading all the time.

Half an hour later the DJ announced the last English Waltz, followed by a Viennese Waltz, and then another English Waltz. Then he got up and announced that this was it: he had to go to bed now. The person who was in charge of the amplifiers turned on the light, then the party was over. Some people left, those who stayed helped Sasuke and Naruto to tidy up the room: Sasuke had to return the keys in the morning, and as both he and Naruto had to work then they could not postpone tidying up until then. Their friends helped them, and when they had finished they sat down for a last cup of coffee, and then also a last glass of champagne.

“We're happy to have you here in Music Town,” the guy from Earth Country said. “Both of you, I mean. We hope you'll stay with us for many years to come, and that these will be happy years for you in Music Town.”

“I'm happy that you all came to my party and helped turn my birthday into a wonderful day,” Naruto answered.

He embraced the guy from Earth Country and then everyone else who was still present, and last he held Sasuke in his arms for seveeral minutes, drawing him into a deep kiss, then they remembered that people were watching them and broke off.

He embraced them all again when they stood outside the building, and some of them he embraced even a third and forth time. Sasuke got embraced too, and people thanked him for inviting them to a wonderful party, but then the end of the party could not be put off any more. Naruto was glad that Sasuke was still with him and that he did not have to go home on his own. It was four a.m., and the town was empty except for some other people who returned home from parties or visits to a disco.

They took a detour along the river: they needed to calm down and sober up after the party, and the fresh October night air did them well. It had been raining while they had been celebrating, but now the rain had stopped, only the world still smelled a bit rainy, and when they had arrived at the river, they could smell the wet grass. When they had found their favourite place on the riverside Naruto spread out his jacket so that they could sit down on it without getting wet. They looked into the water, watching the waves that reflected the moonlight, their arms around each other's shoulders. Naruto kissed Sasuke, and Sasuke responded by turning the kiss into a deep kiss, their tongues meeting each other. They embraced more fully, they got aroused – it was not just the desire to have sex, but the desire to melt with each other and be one. For Naruto it was pure bliss and easy – for Sasuke it was still more difficult, taking responsibility for Naruto and caring for him more than for his own wellbeing, but also letting Naruto take care of him and his body's pleasure, and allowing his personality that still seemed like sunshine to him to take over. They could not undress and have sex here in the riverside of course, but Sasuke spread his jacket over their hips so that they could open their pants and do hand-jobs. They climaxed and embraced again, giggling, then they dissolved their embrace: they could feel like one person like this too.

Again they leant against each other, calming down. Naruto spoke first: “It was a wonderful morning and a wonderful party in the evening. I don't know how to thank you.”

“You already said this,” Sasuke replied. “And it's not just me: I just rented the room and ordered the drinks and the food. It's just what's normal here when someone is celebrating his birthday. People followed the invitation and turned this into a wonderful party because they like you: I could not have organized this.”

Naruto kissed Sasuke again and caressed his hair, feeling that Sasuke had done much more than what was normal, but not knowing how to say this.

“I'm so lucky to have you as my friends and my lover,” he said.

“I'm lucky too,” Sasuke answered.

They sat silently for a while. There was a couple of ducks on the river, and also a lonely seagull, but most birds were asleep now. A small mammal, an otter or a nutria was sitting at the edge of the river, cleaning its fur. Clouds were passing the moon, so that alternatingly the river reflected its light and then was dark again.

“Do you feel it too?” Naruto asked. “The universe around us, I mean? It accepts us: we're part of it.”

Sasuke nodded. Sitting side by side with Naruto he could feel it too.

 

A/N: Thanks again for your reviews and your plusses! You can find my answers at http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/14965-blessed-realm/ .It is now possible to access the thread without registration at the forums.