Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Stranger than the Wild	By : kiddattwell Category: Naruto > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 30155 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and I don't make any money off of it.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
Chapter 15
Naruto was pulling Sasuke through the woods in silence, holding his lantern out in front of him with his free hand, illuminating the side of his face with brief flashes of light. A few minutes ago, Naruto had shivered and said it had gotten cold, but Sasuke didn’t’t feel the chill.

Sometimes, when something new and strange happened in Sasuke’s life, he got angry. Sometimes his mind went blank and he just reacted on instinct. Sometimes, and very rarely in his opinion, he got scared and had to retreat temporarily.

But through all the spectrums of his emotions, never before had he felt this stomach lurching, finger tingling, cold sweat inducing nothingness.

When he kissed Sakura, he was filled with a wild, thoughtless need. That need was quickly replaced by shame and anger and God knows what else. He didn’t like to think back on it.

But seeing as that was his only comparison for kisses (well, that and when Naruto had mistakenly kissed him over a decade ago, which decidedly did not count) he wasn’t able to say for sure if either of his reactions were normal.

Maybe this is better, he thought. Without clear feelings, he didn’t have to jump to any conclusions or act rashly. He could take his time and think things over later, when he had the opportunity for some distance and perspective.

But... even though he wasn’t able to describe how he felt, his heart-beat hadn’t slowed down yet, not even when Naruto let go of his arm as they approached the village inn.

Upon closer inspection, it became clear that the inn wasn’t an inn, so much as it was somebody’s house that had some extra rooms. When Naruto knocked on the front door, it was answered by an old woman who looked them up and down before she moved aside, inviting them into what was definitely just her living room, and then directing them upstairs to the first bedroom on the right.

Sasuke walked into the little room, barely taking it in, rubbing his shaking hands against his sleeves. As he set down his pack, he noticed that there was only a single bed to share between them.

Sasuke sat lightly on the edge of it. Naruto made him feel angry, safe, understood, frustrated, happy... And now the idiot had kissed him. Sasuke had to feel something. He closed his eyes briefly. If he pressed himself to come up with a suitable emotion, he supposed he felt... more awake, maybe...? Like a circuit had clicked back into place inside of him. The kiss had completely wiped away the residual feelings of his break down.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Naruto was watching him, blue eyes glued to his position.

“Are you... ah... ok?” Naruto asked, his brow deeply furrowed.

Sasuke nodded. He didn’t trust his voice just yet.

“Are you sure? I could go harass that baa-chan for hot milk or tea or something...” Naruto said, leaning against the door as though he was bracing it from invaders... or considering running out of it.

Sasuke shook his head.

Naruto’s jaw clenched as half of his mouth moved to form a painful grimace. Just when it looked like his tension was about to explode, he suddenly bowed deeply, the top of his spiky head pointing directly at him.

“I’m sorry!” He shouted at the floor, “I don’t know what happened! I think it was my fault! I grabbed your face and all, and our eyes were closed... You can beat me up if you wanna...” Naruto said, peeking up at him when Sasuke said nothing in reply.

“Are you really angry?” Naruto pressed, straightening his spine, but with his eyes still fixed on the floor.

“No,” Sasuke said carefully.

He could have been. He could have been smoldering with self-loathing, lamenting his perverted dreams, his recent oath to dedicate his life to support Naruto and his causes, the close quarters he chose to share with him, the sheer amount of casual touching that Naruto indulged in without a care... But there was just one little detail that made all the difference.

He hadn’t kissed Naruto. Sasuke was very sure of that. He had perfect recollection of the moment he opened his eyes, just to see Naruto lean closer and then...

The hairs on the back of Sasuke’s neck stood up. It wasn’t revulsion he felt; if it was, this wouldn’t have been so strange and difficult to figure out. But he wasn’t sure if he was happy about it either.

“Really?” Naruto sighed, leaning harder against the door, “That’s good. I didn’t want you to think I took advantage of you or... something. I don’t know... I mean... I don’t know! Like, what the hell? Of course I wasn’t taking advantage! You’re... you! Not that... not that it gives me the rights! I mean... I’m tryin’ to say that of course I wouldn’t take advantage of you.”

Sasuke listened to Naruto’s increasingly frustrated rambling, not quite sure of the point he was trying to make.

“Do you feel better, at least? You seem like you do,” Naruto finally asked when his rant came to a close.

Sasuke nodded.

“Alright... then let’s change and get some sleep.”

They did, in silence. After he had changed, Naruto poured a pack of rations into his mouth straight from the bag. Sasuke slipped under the covers, closing his eyes the moment his head touched the pillow. His heart was pounding again. Not in fear... not in lust... it was just... something.

The lights flicked off. Sasuke felt the opposite pillow brush against his shoulder... but the bed never shifted. He heard a soft plunk on the floor.

Looking up and over the opposite side of the bed, he saw Naruto was lying on the floor.

“What are you doing?” Sasuke asked.

“Oh,” Naruto stammered, almost like he was caught, “I thought I’d sleep down here to make sure I didn’t wake you up. You’re always saying I’m a rough sleeper and I figured you need a good rest.”

Sasuke stared down at him for a minute. Was he really being considerate? Or was Naruto, the most stupidly confident person he had ever known, finally as confused as he was?

Sasuke laid back down in silence. He probably could have found it in him to be indignant. He could have worked himself up enough to go off on the guy with some degree of success. All he had to do was lead the conversation with any of the number of questions that were whirling through his own mind. What, you’ll kiss me, but now you’re scared to share the bed with me? I’m the one that should be worried about you coming on to me. And what the hell kind of answer is ‘I don’t know what happened’ after you just kissed a man you’ve known for half your life?

But Sasuke was shaken from his imagined battle by a moan that traveled up from the floor.

“What the hell am I gonna tell Sakura-chan?” Naruto groaned.

Tell her what you told me, Sasuke thought vindictively, She’ll flatten you.

**** **** **** ****

The villagers were kind enough to follow them to the unearthed shrine the next morning, a box and shovels in tow. Sasuke’s stomach turned at the sight of the bulbous stone cavern, but when they stood by the door, Naruto placed a hand on his arm.

“Stay out here in the light. If there are any artifacts to examine, I’ll bring them out to you and you’ll be able to see them properly.”

Even after a full night of sleep, the kiss was still taking up a large portion of Sasuke’s mind, but there were other wars waging as well. The occasional blast from the side of his head that was scared that he had lost his nerve, and the piercing shots that ranged from the idea that he might have to end his career as a ninja both struck him pretty regularly.

Coming back to the scene of the break down wasn’t helping, and even worse, the shame of failing at his job was entirely overwhelmed by the sick feeling he felt at the idea of walking back into that shrine.

So he let Naruto go ahead, standing outside with the small delegation of civilian villagers, while a few others followed Naruto, presumably to look at the bodies.

Skeletons, Sasuke corrected to himself, Gone before I was ever alive.

Before long, the villagers came back out, shortly followed by Naruto carrying a few stone plates and a small earthenware vase carried under his arm. He set them down on the ground at Sasuke’s feet.

“Recognize any of these symbols?” Naruto asked, spreading the stone tablets to sit side by side.

Sasuke studied them closely, his concentration temporarily besting his nausea. When he was sure he didn’t, he shook his head.

Naruto nodded, “Alright. Well, the villagers don’t know who they are, so they decided to just to bury the shrine again. Our work’s done here,” Naruto said, an unmissable gentle quality to his tone. Normally he would be riled at the idea of Naruto treating him like he was weak. Now that nothing was making sense, he wasn’t sure if he should feel better or worse.

**** **** **** ****

“Do you wanna slow down?” Naruto called from a tree branch a few yards away.

Sasuke paused, his heels bouncing against his own branch, “Why?”

“I dunno,” Naruto breathed, “Yesterday was tough, so I thought we could take it easy on the way back.”

“There’s no need. I’m ok now,” Sasuke said, and it was true. The steady pace of travel and the cold air in his lungs had gone a long way to still his frayed nerves.

“Oh. Ok...” Naruto said, but instead of moving, he leaned against the trunk of the tree, “You haven’t eaten since yesterday. You want something?”

Sasuke sighed, “If you’re hungry, we can stop.”

“No, I just... well, I could eat, but it’s more important that you do,” Naruto said.

Sasuke jumped to the forest floor and Naruto met him there. They didn’t say much as Naruto pulled more rations out of his bag, as well as a pack of crackers for Sasuke that the inn-owner had given them as a by-your-leave.

As they ate, Sasuke wondered if the silence was as awkward for Naruto as it was for him. Normally, Naruto rambled. Or babbled. Or just filled the space with whatever was on his mind. Right now it looked like Naruto was struggling to hold his tongue for some reason.

“What are we going to tell Sakura?” Sasuke asked, surprising himself a little. However, after everything that had just happened, confessing everything to Sakura actually felt like the least difficult part; it was the one thought he had that he actually felt he could deal with.

“I don’t know,” Naruto replied in a hushed voice, lowering his rations to his hip, “Are we cheaters? Am I a cheater?”

“You would know better than I would,” Sasuke said.

“What do you think I should say?” Naruto pressed.

Sasuke shrugged.

Naruto’s eager face fell into a scowl, “Can you help at all? This might have been your fault, you know. Maybe you leaned in to me.“

Sasuke glared at him, “As high as kissing you is on my list of things to do, I had other things on my mind at that moment. Besides,” he added, “I saw you.”

“You saw what? Your eyes were closed.”

“I opened them right before it happened.”

“Then why didn’t you dodge?” Naruto practically shrieked, his fists clenching around his food packet.

He didn’t have an answer for that, so he shot back, “Why did you kiss me?”

“I don’t know!” Naruto shouted. It was quiet for a moment, before he added, “All I was thinking about was trying to help you...”

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow, “If that’s how you help people then all of your miraculous victories over the years suddenly make sense.”

“Ha-ha,” Naruto said, “If my kissing skills were so powerful that they resulted in world peace, then I would spread that legend myself.”

“Is this part of the special training Kakashi is giving you and Sakura then?”

“What? No! I... Why are you giving me such a hard time!”

“Why did you kiss me?” Sasuke growled in reply.

“I said I don’t know! Why does it matter?”

“Why the hell wouldn’t it matter?! Should I just not question it? Is this going to be a regular thing? You kiss me and I just stand there and shut up?” This was not where he had wanted the conversation to go; he wanted to talk about Sakura, but it seemed like words just kept falling out of him.

Naruto took a breath to shout his response, but then stopped. A look of intense concentration came over his features.

“I’m sorry,” he said through a clenched jaw that was gradually loosening, “I really am. I don’t know what happened. I wanted you to feel better and I didn’t know what to do and... I guess... I was feeling a lot and it was dark and you were standing too close?”

Sasuke opened his mouth, but Naruto cut him off before he could speak.

“I know, I know. I was the one who was holding you there. I’m sorry. I really—"

“Stop apologizing already. I said I didn’t mind. And I wasn’t going to say that, either.”

“Well what were you going to say? All you’ve done is gone from telling me you aren’t angry to yelling at me.”

Sasuke stood in silence for a minute, trying to work everything out in his head and failing once again, “I don’t know. I’m not angry... I’m not... anything.”

Naruto sighed, then rested his hand on Sasuke’s arm, “There’s a lot going on with you right now. I don’t want to argue; I wanna be there for you.” Naruto sat down on the forest floor, his legs crossed, crumbled brown leaves sticking to his pants. “Don’t worry about Sakura. I’ll figure out what to tell her. Just focus on you, ok?”

Sasuke snorted, “Which part? The part where I lost my nerve over a couple of skeletons? The part where my training completely disappeared? Or how about the part where I was crying and losing my shit in a freezing cold forest?” Sasuke looked across to Naruto’s worried eyes, “I’d rather worry about Sakura.”

“It was just this once,” Naruto said, gazing steadily at him, “Everyone has days like that.”

“When have you ever failed a mission because of your emotions?”

“Plenty of times. You know how I get when I’m mad. That’s why we work in teams. Besides, it’s not like we were in the middle of a battle. If anything, you picked, like, the best possible time to lose it.”

“I don’t think there’s ever a good time to “lose it” as a ninja.”

“Would you have rather cried while fighting some rogue nins?”

Sasuke let his glare answer for him, but he thought that maybe Naruto had a point. Maybe he could be persuaded to believe it wasn’t so bad...

“How about we go somewhere when we get back, all three of us? Or just you and me if Sakura can’t get off. You’ve been dealing with so much stuff lately. Maybe you just need some time to rest.”

“We’re in the middle of political training,” Sasuke scoffed.

“Training we can do whenever. Your stuff’s more important.”

Sasuke huffed in protest, but didn’t write off the possibility completely. “Maybe,” he said.

“Good. Now let’s get back home before it’s freezing again,” Naruto said, picking himself up and dusting off his pants.

**** **** **** ****

“Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun, welcome home. Good mission?”

Sasuke wasn’t sure what made him angrier; the fact that it was Kakashi that was greeting him at his front door or the older nin’s smug smile. Sakura popped her head around the corner a moment later.

“You’re back!” She exclaimed, running over to jump into Naruto’s arms. Sasuke felt Kakashi watching him. Sasuke was actually grateful; it kept him in a trained, neutral expression. Or so he thought.

“Sasuke-kun, are you alright?” Sakura asked, detangling her arms from Naruto to get a better look at him.

“He’s a bit under the weather. Got sick last night after we got to the village,” Naruto said quickly, steering Sakura back to his side. But Sakura continued to push her way over to him, despite Naruto clinging to her.

“Sorry to dash just as you’re arriving, but I have an urgent appointment at HQ,” Kakashi said.

“It’s eight,” Sakura said, rolling her eyes.

“Then I’m especially late. Oh, but that reminds me- Naruto, Iruka-sensei wants you to come help at the academy tomorrow. He told me to tell you if I saw you.”

Naruto frowned, “I was gonna ask for a long weekend off since Sasuke’s sick.”

Kakashi quirked an eyebrow, “So sick he needs you to stay home and take care of him?” He took a long look at Sasuke and Sasuke finally felt comfortable enough to glare at him the way he wanted to since he came through the door.

However, Naruto looked at him too, in askance. Sasuke said, “I’ll be fine. You can go.”

“Good,” Kakashi said, “I’ll tell sensei. Bye, then. Feel better, Sasuke-kun.”

Was there a single word that that man could speak to him and sound sincere? Sasuke thought as he pushed through the Sakura and Naruto blockade into the living room.

He heard the two shout their further goodbye’s to Kakashi as he set his bag against the stairs. There was food on the table; it looked like Kakashi and Sakura had already eaten.

“You guys hungry?” Sakura asked, rounding the corner, “I could make eggs or something. Tell me about the mission.”

Naruto gave him a questioning look, one that Sasuke chose not to acknowledge.

“Hm?” Sakura asked, glancing between the two of them.

“S-sure... we could eat while we talk,” Naruto said. Sakura’s eyes narrowed.

“Alright. What’s going on? What did you do?” She asked, looking them up and down. Presumably looking for injuries, Sasuke thought.

“Ha... you’re so smart, Sakura-chan,” Naruto complimented with a weak smile.

Sasuke walked over to the couch to sit down.

“Quit stalling. You two weren’t fighting with each other, were you?”

“You... could maybe phrase it like that...” Naruto said, grabbing Sakura’s hand to pull her into the living area as well, directing her toward the other end of the couch as he sat down on the coffee table.

“Did you break something?” Sakura asked, her voice rising slightly before she gasped, “You didn’t break some relic on the mission, did you?”

“Well... I guess you could say something was sort of...” Naruto began, but then trailed off with a grimace. Even Sasuke felt himself cringe.

“Just tell her already, dobe,” Sasuke said quietly.

“Ok, ok. So... Sasuke wasn’t feeling too good on the mission. I was trying to cheer him up and we... accidentally, sorta...”

“What?” Sakura asked, her arms crossed.

“-Kissed.”

“I... what?” She said, her preemptive stern expression falling into open mouth confusion, “You... kissed?” Sakura questioned, her eyes darting rapidly between the two. Naruto was blushing to his ears. Part of Sasuke wanted to look away, but he found he couldn’t.

“Yeah... it was really... well... I don’t really know how it happened,” Naruto explained, “I was holding on to him and I... I wanted to make sure he was ok... I didn’t really think about it before I did it. I wasn’t thinking about kissing at all, actually. I just sort of... opened my eyes and it was happening.”

“So you two kissed... on the mouth...?” She specified, staring down at the floor hard like she was trying to do intense math in her head.

“Yeah...”

She sat still for so long that even Sasuke felt uncomfortable. Finally, Naruto asked, “What are you thinking?”

“I... don’t know what to think, actually,” she said, her expression still tense, but her tone more one of surprise than anger.

“Are you mad?”

“No...” she said slowly, “I’m not mad... Just... I guess I’m trying to figure out if I should be. Can you... maybe explain the story again? He said you were feeling bad?” Sakura asked, looking over at him. Sasuke nodded.

He thought this part of the story might have to be fully explained, but he found he didn’t mind Sakura knowing the details of his break down. He gave Naruto a nod of approval and the boy began to explain, to the best of his understanding, what had happened. The dark, the temple, what they had seen, Sasuke’s fears about his future as a ninja...

Hearing about it in Naruto’s words made it all seem so much less terrible and confusing. Even his greatest fear, one where he was no longer capable of being a ninja, sounded perfectly manageable when Naruto summarized it.

Sasuke watched Sakura’s face throughout the story. It bent with concern and shock when it was supposed to. So she wasn’t so angry that she was completely without empathy…

When the tale of the previous night was done, Sakura no longer seemed so confused. A moment after Naruto stopped speaking, she said, “Well... I’m not mad. I’m not quite sure what I am, but I’m not that.”

Naruto ran a hand through his hair, “You and Sasuke are the same,” he joked lightly, “Neither of you are mad, but other than that...”

“Should I be mad?” Sakura questioned, “I mean... unless you’re saying you... you want to break up with me to be with Sasuke now... and in that case...” she trailed off, but it wasn’t threatening. Again, she just seemed like she was trying to imagine what she might feel.

“Sakura, no! I love you. I’d never, ever break up with you. I want you by my side forever.”

“But... you kissed Sasuke... and you want him by your side forever, too.” Sakura reasoned, trying to stick the story together.

“I do, but... that doesn’t mean we’re going to start dating or anything.”

“But you kissed him...” Sakura said, “You wouldn’t just do that...”

“Well, it was sorta a strained situation...”

“But you’re in strained situations all the time.”

“I know, but...” Naruto didn’t seem to know what to say.

Sakura looked up suddenly, “And you’re not mad?” she asked Sasuke, who was still seated quietly on the couch.

Sasuke shook his head.

Sakura bit her lip and stood up and began pacing. Naruto held up his hands, beckoning her to sit again.

“Sakura-chan...” he called, when she instead pivoted into the kitchen.

“It’s... it’s ok. I just need to think about this. You said you don’t know why you kissed him?” She asked to confirm.

“Not really... I guess... maybe I just didn’t know what else to do... I wanted to break through to him, you know?”

Sasuke couldn’t help but raise a brow at that admission. It was the first time he’d heard it.

“But...” Sakura said, looking back at Naruto, “You wouldn’t call that an accident then, would you?”

“I guess not...” Naruto said. Sasuke tried to catch his eye, saw the blonde wipe his hands against his pants. With every question, Naruto looked a little more panicked.

“Sakura,” Sasuke felt himself call out to her. She stopped her pacing to look at him.

“What?” She asked carelessly.

He didn’t know what he was going to say. They had done something wrong- Sasuke, too. Like Naruto said, he should have dodged when he saw it coming. He was complicit in betraying her. He felt like he could have dealt with her anger, but he had no idea of what to do with this intense line of questioning that all seemed to be digging them deeper and deeper into this uncomfortable hole.

When it was clear he was at a loss, he saw her face soften.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

“No, I’m sorry,” Naruto practically shouted.

“No, I am. I’m freaking out about this little, tiny thing when what I should be worried about is Sasuke. And I’m supposed to be a healer,” she sighed, then straightened up, “Why don’t you two eat some dinner? I’d like to hear more about what set you off in the first place.”

Dinner was... strange. Sasuke spoke automatically, going over the sequence of events from that night without emotion and stopping before he got to the kiss. Sakura asked him about his feelings the way he imagined a doctor might, trying to pin them down. Was he scared? Sad? Angry? At the time, he had just reacted. It was like he had been wounded; he retreated, dizzy and sick, the only thought in his head being to get away and survive, at least until Naruto caught up to him and made him realize what he was doing. In the end, his answers to Sakura were pretty unhelpful in her quest to diagnose him.

However, when he was done eating, she did prescribe bed rest.

“I think you guys just need a few days of rest under your own roof to figure out what happened. Did you turn in your mission at HQ already?” Sakura asked as she cleared the plate in front of Naruto.

“Yeah, we went there first.”

“Good. Then you can spend the day getting a proper rest while we’re at work and we’ll see how you are in the evening,” she said, decisive about her course of treatment. Sasuke numbly agreed.

As he walked up the steps to his bedroom, he turned around to see Naruto and Sakura exit to the breezeway. Naruto turned to glance at him and smiled sheepishly before shutting the door behind him. Sasuke wondered what they would talk about... what Sakura would ask when he wasn’t there. Even though it had been hard when Sakura was getting more and more upset, he also felt... disappointed, somehow. He regretted cutting her off now that things still felt so open ended.

**** **** **** ****

----Naruto

Naruto followed behind Sakura, unthinkingly willing the chakra in his feet to muffle the sound of his steps on the floor. She walked straight to her bedroom, turning once to see if he was following her.

“Um, should I...?”

Sakura raised her eyebrows, “You want to sleep apart?”

“No! I just wasn’t sure if you wanted to.”

“No. I don’t mind sleeping with you...” she said.

It was full dark, but the sound of crickets were long gone for the winter. There were no plants in the court yard yet, but it was full of dead leaves that had blown in from somewhere and scattered with a slight patter every time the wind rushed over the walls of the compound.

Naruto saw the light turn on in Sasuke’s room upstairs and felt another squeeze of guilt... not that he wasn’t already drowning in it. How could he have done something crazy like kissing the guy when he was at his most vulnerable? Only to then have Sasuke try to defend him to Sakura...

Naruto wondered why they couldn’t just beat him up instead of trying to talk it out and be understanding. It would have made him feel better than he did right now.

He followed her inside and shut the door behind him. The space heater was already running and the air was dry and toasty. Her blankets were a mess all over the floor, as usual. She said she was going to buy a bed frame and mattress when she got the money.

Maybe I can get her one as a “Please forgive me,” present.

“Sakura,” he began before an awkward silence could settle in, “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I did something so stupid at such a weird time... although I guess it’s not exactly that hard to believe, knowing me. But I’ve been trying to change. For the past week, all I’ve wanted was for you and Sasuke to see me as reliable, and now I’ve screwed it all up with this weird kiss stuff.”

“I meant it when I said I’m not mad. You don’t have to apologize so much... and what do you mean you’re trying to change?”

“I... I just want you and Sasuke to be able to trust me with your problems. Although I doubt that’s gonna happen after all this...”

“I do trust you.”

“Maybe, but not the way you trust Sasuke, or Kakashi-sensei, or Ino. You don’t come to me for advice,” Naruto said, trying not to sound accusatory.

“I don’t go to Sasuke-kun for advice,” Sakura said, but she couldn’t deny the other two.

“But Sasuke comes to you. I just... I want to be someone you can rely on. If I can’t even be that for you and Sasuke, how can I advise a whole village on what to do and how to live?”

“Sasuke never tells me what’s on his mind! And you... I think you’ll make a fine Hokage, even if...” Sakura paused, scrunching her face in thought, “Naruto... the only reason I don’t come to you for advice is because I... I think I’m usually getting advice about you. Or Sasuke. Most of my problems are just about what’s going on with the team.”

“But why wouldn’t you talk to us about that kind of stuff? We said we would if anything came up.”

“I mean I... I guess I just want to know if the things that are happening between us are normal, so I’m just fishing for opinions and stuff. I don’t always know how to bring stuff up to you. That’s usually what I need advise about.”

If anything, Naruto felt more confused than before, “You don’t have to do all that before you ask me something. You can just ask.”

“I know, but I just want to make sure I get everything right. I don’t want to mess all of this up. With you or with Sasuke. I want all of us to be able to stay together.”

Naruto sighed and sat down on the floor near the mattress, “Me too. That’s why I’m so mad that I did something like this without even thinking... I could have ruined things with you and Sasuke.”

“But he said he’s not mad...” Sakura said, sitting down in front of him, her hands absently reaching for his. He gave his palms to her and she grasped them.

“So did you. But I’m not sure how to believe that. How can he just be ok? You too. How are you fine with everything?”

“Well... I mean...” Sakura spluttered, her eyes searching the room until she finally said, “It’s Sasuke. I can’t really be mad about it. You guys are as close as you and I are, and it’s not like he was trying to steal you away. Besides, you said you weren’t mad when I kissed Sasuke.”

“Well I didn’t have any right to be. We weren’t really dating.”

“Well, you guys are practically brothers. I’m not gonna get mad if you have an intimate moment... Of course, if you really were brothers... I mean, can we just say you’re as close as brothers? Anyway,” Sakura said, “We’re all really close. I’m not threatened by Sasuke... except... well, never mind.”

“No way. What’s the except?”

“It’s just... Don’t like him more than me, ok?”

“What?” Naruto yelped.

Sakura grinned ruefully as she squeezed his hand, “I... I’ve never really beaten Sasuke at anything. He’s your best friend, and he’s one of the strongest ninjas ever. You guys are together at work and you train with each other all the time and... I know you love us equally as teammates, but... I don’t want him to beat me at... kissing. I kind of thought I had that arena all to myself, but if I have to compete with him, I’m just a little... well... just promise you’ll like us equally,” she said, and by the time she had finished there was only a semi-serious pout on her face.

“Sakura! No! The kiss was a moment of insanity. For both of us. He was literally having a break down and I... don’t have a good excuse other than I was half out of my mind trying to find a way to snap him out of it. You’re the only one I want to kiss.”

Sakura nodded, then chuckled, “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”

“I know,” Naruto said, shaking his head in weary disbelief.

“So what do we do now? Do we just wait for everything to go back to normal?”

“Everything is normal,” Naruto insisted, but at Sakura’s skeptical look, he back pedaled, “Ok, maybe it’s not normal, but it’s not that bad either. I’m just going to keep trying to be the new, calm, responsible me. And you... well, you didn’t do anything wrong, so you do whatever you want.”

“What about Sasuke?” Sakura asked.

“That guy...” Naruto mumbled, then said, “Well, he’s acting like he’s over it, so maybe he just wants to put it behind him. I guess we just treat him normally unless he says otherwise.”

“But this whole breakdown thing... what if he gets worse?”

Naruto furrowed his brow, “I guess we’ll just have to figure out some way to deal with it. But who knows? It might have been just a one-time thing...”

“Sasuke-kun has to be scared though, even if he’s acting normal...”

Naruto nodded, “Yeah. But we’re here for him.”

“In whatever capacity necessary, apparently,” Sakura said with a small smirk.

“Psh! Let’s see if you come up with anything better when he’s freaking out in front of you. And it did work, by the way. He snapped right out of it with my method.”

“Oh Naruto...”

“Whatever! Try it for yourself next time somebody is losing it.”

“Yeah, I can see that going over well at the hospital. I’ll make sure to credit you when Tsunade-sama asks about the technique.”

“You do that!”

While they squabbled, they began to make up the bed, straightening the pillows and blankets until they were suitable for humans to use again. Sakura turned off the light, still rolling her eyes at him while Naruto threw his clothes to the far corner of the room. He hadn’t gotten a bath yet, but he didn’t want to leave Sakura either, so they’d both have to settle for him being a little grimy.

After she had changed into her pajamas and joined him, she curled into his arm, inhaling deeply as she sunk her nose beneath the blanket, “Everything is fine,” she said, closing her eyes as he peered down over the top of her head to see her face.

“Yep. Everything is going to be ok,” he answered.

“Yeah,” she sighed, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Sakura-chan... SO! MUCH!” He added, shouting impulsively into the darkness.

He heard Sakura snicker, “Baka... love you more...”

**** **** **** ****

----Sasuke

Sasuke slept as prescribed, maybe even a bit longer. There was a hangover to sleeping like that and when he got out of bed, he still felt groggy. Still, it was a surprise to go downstairs and find Sakura there, wiping down the counters.

She looked over at him when he reached the foot of the stairs, “Are you just now waking up?” She asked, and both of them looked over at the clock on the wall. “I had a half day, so I thought I’d come home and check on you. And clean up a bit, too.”

“I’ll help you,” he said.

“That’s ok. It’s just the dishes from the night you guys were gone and last night... although it looks worse than that,” she said, and smiled.

Outwardly, he kept his face neutral, but on the inside, he frowned. She was acting like nothing had happened.

He helped her, despite her trying to put him off, and continued observing her as they stood side by side with the dishes. He concluded that either she really was fine or that she was better at hiding her feelings than he had ever given her credit for.

Or maybe, she had always been this good at it he thought, But just never bothered to hide them from me.

A stab of guilt, similar to the one that compelled him to try and intervene the night before, hit him again. Was this his punishment? Naruto had taken the blame for everything in the end, but Sasuke had acted wrongly too.

“I’m sorry,” he said into the silence between them, looking up from the bubbles in the sink to see her face.

“You don’t need to apologize. It was stupid Naruto that grabbed you. But that’s settled,” she said with a slight sigh. When she noticed he was still studying her, her fixed smile came back into place, “I’m really not mad though. You are very kissable, so I... um... get that... and... I- I guess that’s one apiece so we’re all even now,” Sakura said, stuttering as she dropped the dish that was in her hand back into the soapy water. She was blushing all of the sudden, her eyes darting around the kitchen as though she was looking for something.

“I- ...since it’s noon, I’m gonna go get some groceries. Don’t worry about the rest of the dishes. I’ll get them later. You just get some more rest,” she said, wiping her hands on a rag and practically running out of the kitchen. Sasuke looked down into the sink, still full of half washed dishes, wondering how the hell that could have gone any worse.

**** **** **** ****

----Sakura


The park’s narrow path wasn’t exactly a place of great beauty, the bare, narrow trees and stringy bushes not doing much to enhance the landscape. It would have been pretty if it would actually snow, but at the moment, the whole world just looked muddy and dull.

“I thought you’d be at home,” said a voice close to her ear, making Sakura jump.

“Kakashi!” She exclaimed as she whipped around. She tried to school her expression, just in case he picked up on something, and tried not to think about Sasuke, just in case he really was a mind reader like she half-believed he was.

“The hospital told me you took a half-day. I thought Sasuke must have actually been sick, but if you’re out here I kind of doubt it,” he said evenly, his hands in his pocket.

“Sasuke’s... resting. He slept all morning,” she quickly explained, then held up her burlap shopping sack, “I was just taking the roundabout path to the grocery store.”

“Hmm? A round about path in the complete opposite direction? You’re going to have to become a better liar as my assistant. You might have to think up excuses to get me out of things.”

“Yeah right! Your lies are always stupid! You hardly even bother!” Sakura exclaimed.

“Well I’ve never had a reason to waste a good lie on you,” Kakashi said, smiling under his mask. It was a cold smile though, Sakura realized. He was still trying to figure out what was going on.

For some reason, she had no urge to tell anyone what had happened between Sasuke and Naruto. Not Kakashi, not Ino... no one. She wasn’t looking to unburden herself. If anything, she wanted to box away what had happened and never show it to anyone. Even forget about it if possible.

“Why were you looking for me at the hospital anyway?” She asked.

“I just got some news that I thought you should know first thing,” he said, his exposed eye watching her carefully, “Hokage-sama just informed me that I’ll be traveling to each of our allies, introducing myself properly and fostering alliances and what not. And since I’m traveling as future Hokage, you’re meant to come with me as my future number two.”

“Tsunade-sama doesn’t mind me leaving the hospital for that long?”

“She said she’d talk to you about it.”

“Well... ok!” Sakura said brightly, trying to appear completely at ease. To do that, she had to stop the thousands of thoughts that were running through her head, all screaming some variation of the phrase, Why now?

“When are we leaving?” She asked.

“End of this month.”

“Three weeks...” Would that be enough time for everything to go back to normal?

Her talk with Naruto from the night before seemed to put everything back in some semblance of order. When she woke up this morning, she felt fine, at peace. Like there was nothing wrong after all and no more needed to be said. She had kissed Naruto good-bye and promised to look in on Sasuke in the afternoon.

But then Sasuke had struck her out of nowhere with his apology and she just had to bring up their own illicit kiss. How quickly things could change from “at peace” to “Just kill me now.”

Because of her stupid fumble, she felt like she had to have a conversation about the kiss again... and soon, with Kakashi’s deadline now creeping up on her.

Sakura realized she had been thinking too long, and looked back to Kakashi quickly, but of course he’d already noticed.

“I suppose asking you what’s going on would be pointless right now?” He said, smiling down at her, and it was a real smile this time.

“Ah, well. You know how it is with... you know.”

“That depends. How it is with who? Teammates? Friends? Roommates? Boyfriends? Actually, I don’t know much about any of those things,” he said.

“Well, I wasn’t going to say any of those things... but they’re all accurate. I was going to say Naruto and Sasuke.”

“Ah. I suppose I know a little bit, then.”

Sakura smiled wryly, “They’re just keeping me on my toes, I guess. Never a dull moment.”

“If you need help, you know where to find me. You’re my number two and officially my favorite former student, so whatever you want to do to them, I’ll help you get away with it.”

Sakura felt considerably more cheery, “Really? I’m your favorite now?”

“Well I didn’t have one before, but now? Definitely. Well, ah...” Kakashi broke off with a truly awkward fake cough that made her smile even harder, “I best be off. Lots of responsibilities, future Hokage n’ all...”

Kakashi abruptly disappeared in a puff of smoke, and Sakura actually let out a little laugh. Her former sensei could be just as awkward as the rest of them.

Sakura stood there a few moments longer, finally feeling a little more relaxed.

I can do this. I can forget the weird stuff and just be there for Sasuke.

After all, it was actually more troubling that Sasuke had a break down on a mission. That Naruto kissed him to snap him out of it was really just... well... Naruto continuing to be surprising.

I’m used to that, she told herself, Sasuke being sick is way more important. And I’ve only got a month to help before I’m gone for however long...

**** **** **** ****

----Naruto

Naruto arrived at home just after three to find Sasuke sitting on the couch, looking up like he’d been waiting for him.

“Hey,” Naruto blurted. Sasuke leaned back against the couch, his interest waned. “Where’s Sakura-chan?”

“Grocery store,” he replied, his dark eyes expressionless.

“Feelin’ better?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke shrugged, “I wasn’t really sick. Not the way you mean, anyway.”

“I know. I’ve been thinking about it all day, trying to figure this out,” Naruto said, plopping down on to the coffee table across from him, stretching his arms and legs with a yawn.

“Why?” Sasuke asked.

“Because you’re worried about it. Anyway-“

“That doesn’t automatically make it your problem, dobe.”

“Sure it does. Anyway, I’ve been thinking and, you know, maybe the whole freak out thing wasn’t such a big deal. It’s only happened this one time, so unless it happens again, maybe we should just write this one off.”

Sasuke didn’t say anything, but he seemed pensive. Naruto waited as long as he could in silence before he added, “I just don’t want you to be worried about all that stuff you said... you know... about not being able to be a ninja or be ok in general. At least, not until we know you have something to be really worried about,” Naruto continued.

Sasuke nodded.

“And anyway, we’ve found something that will snap you out of it the next time you feel like that,” Naruto said with a grin, but then red spread across Sasuke’s pale face like fire, making his own cheeks heat up in response.

“D-don’t blush, teme! It was a joke!”

“I’m not!” Sasuke protested hotly, finally goaded into voicing some of emotion.

“Well... I mean, if it actually helped you feel better, I’d kiss you any time you needed me to, but I think the shock would wear off, eventually,” Naruto said.

Sasuke turned his head away completely, his face resting on his hand, “If I’m ever that bad off, just let me die.”

“You can rely on me, you know. If you really needed something...” Naruto pressed.

Sasuke huffed and jerked a barely perceptible nod in his direction.

“Good,” Naruto breathed, finally leaning all the way back on to the table, propping his feet on either side of Sasuke on the couch.

Sakura arrived home only a few minutes later. Naruto stood to help her as she rounded the corner.

“We really needed groceries,” Sakura said, handing over a burlap bag that was filled to the bursting. Right behind her, there was a knock on the door. Briefly looking around at each other, it was Sakura who turned to answer, Naruto following closely behind her after setting the groceries down against the couch.

Standing in the open door was a masked ninja. He held up a scroll to Sakura.

“Message from HQ,” the ninja said, then caught sight of Naruto and held the scroll up over his head for him to see. There was an official seal on it.

Sakura snatched it from the ninja’s raised hand and tossed it backward to Naruto, giving the masked messenger a look. He was already leaving though, retreating in a puff of smoke. Sakura coughed and waved her hand in front of her face.

“Who is he trying to impress? He could have just left normally.”

Naruto however, was focused on the scroll. He walked back into the living room as he unraveled it. Sasuke was already walking over to him and Sakura was leaning over his shoulder. When it flapped open, he quickly skimmed the contents, but not before Sakura finished it first.

“It’s just Gaara. I guess you need to give him your home address.”

“What’s going on in the sand?” Sasuke asked, peering over his shoulder.

Naruto looked back down at the paper, “Gaara’s traveling... stopping here overnight... wants to see us.”

“When?”

“Ummm... Feh!” Naruto exclaimed when he saw the date, “Not for a month! Why’d he send it so early? I got all excited for nothing.”

“He probably wants to make sure you’re not going to be away on a mission,” Sasuke said absently as he read it for himself.

“I guess...”

“Speaking of,” Sakura said brightly, clutching Naruto briefly around the waist before she moved away, “I have some news. At the beginning of next month, Kakashi is going to go and visit all of the other villages as the succeeding Hokage. It’s just a friendly, political thing, like a meet and greet,” she explained as the boys stared at her blankly, “And because I’m his Shizune, I have to go with him.”

“Are we going too? We could go as his bodyguards, right?” Naruto said, glancing over at Sasuke for support. However, his friend seemed less than pleased at the idea. He wished he could get him to talk about whatever his problem with Kakashi was.

Sakura cut in, “I don’t think so, Naruto. As nice as it would be to make this a Team 7 reunion tour, you’re both pretty well-known ninja now, so I think you’d end up stealing the show if you came.”

“What?! No way-“

“She’s right,” Sasuke added, “How often were you cornered by diplomats in the Sand? They were more interested in sucking up to you than their own Kazekage.”

“And then there’s Gaara himself. I don’t think he’d want to meet up with Kakashi if he knew hanging out with you was an option,” Sakura said.

Naruto sighed. He never thought he’d be so popular that it would actually start to be a nuisance. But there could be worse problems, he thought.

“Wait,” Naruto gasped, “If Gaara’s coming here... does that mean you’re going to miss him?”

“The schedules worked out so we see him last, so I’m sure he’ll be home again by that time. And I’ll get to see him while I’m there, so it’s ok,” she said, then added, “Actually, it’s probably for the best that we keep things professional, considering the last time he saw us we all got sloppy drunk and I cried at him.”

“What?! You cried?”

“Yeah. When you two were fighting in the bathroom.”

“I... don’t remember that very well,” Naruto admitted, clueless as to why Sasuke was glaring daggers at him. He was pretty sure he hadn’t started the fight in the bathroom.

“I’m sure you don’t,” Sakura said, grinning, “I’m not even sure why I was crying... I think something to do with Gaara not having a team when he was growing up. Anyway, as much of a bonding moment as I’m sure it was, I think it’s probably for the best that it doesn’t happen again... At least while I’m working for Kakashi.”

“Does that mean you’re going to let loose once you’re the Hokage’s wife?” Naruto asked with a sly grin.

“I... uh!” Sakura’s face lit up pink. Even Sasuke looked a bit shocked.

“What?” Naruto asked.

“You... you’re saying that you want to be married when you’re Hokage?” She asked, her mouth agape.

“Well, I never really thought about when it would happen, but I don’t see why not,” Naruto said, trying to keep the blush off of his own face now. He always assumed that everyone knew his intentions, so their reaction threw him completely off guard. What did Sakura think all of those “I love you”s’ meant?

“Uh...” Sakura glanced back over at Sasuke, who Naruto caught rolling his eyes.

“Don’t let me get in the way. I wish you all the happiness being married to this dobe can bring you,” Sasuke said dryly.

“Whatever, teme! You’re living here too, so you’re gonna be enjoying married life right alongside us!”

“You seriously want to live here when you’re married?”

“What part of forever do you two not understand?” Naruto asked.

Sakura’s blush had faded, but she still looked troubled when she asked, “Um, what if Sasuke finds a girl he likes someday... someone who doesn’t want to live in a house with another couple...”

Naruto scoffed, “Like that would ever happen.”

“It could! He’s popular!” Sakura said, rising to his defense.

“When has he ever cared?”

“Life is long. He might grow to like someone one day.”

Naruto scrunched his face, “Sakura-chan, I think you need to come to terms with the fact that Sasuke’s going to end up being the weird, live-in uncle to our future children, Boruto and Joruto... and probably teach them a bunch of techniques we don’t approve of when they’re way too young...” Naruto said, turning thoughtful as he imagined it.

“No child of mine is going to be named Boruto,” Sakura said as Sasuke glowered at him, “Jotaro’s not bad though...”

“No, no. It’s Jo-ru-to.”

“Oh I heard you the first time.”

Sasuke stood up at that point, making for the stairs. Sakura slapped Naruto’s arm, gesturing at their retreating teammate and Naruto realized too late that he’d put his foot in his mouth again.

“Oi, teme-“

“Just give me some notice before I have to be someone’s uncle. I’ll need to prepare a curriculum,” Sasuke said with a wave as he disappeared from the landing.

Sakura sighed. Naruto smiled ruefully at her.

“So I guess I botched the proposal, huh?” He said, and she sputtered again.

“W-what!? So that was a real proposal?!”

“Well, I didn’t plan it, but yeah. I mean, I kinda thought the fact that we’d be married one day was understood.”

“It is, but actually proposing is different. Like, there’s a ring and you have to set a date and tell people and all that.”

“Oh, I guess it wasn’t then. Unless you want it to be,” Naruto said, waggling his eyebrows as he leaned closer to her, “We already live together, so why not be married?”

Sakura shoved his face away, her palm connecting with his forehead, “That’s a different step, dummy.”

Naruto took her hand from his face and pressed it between both of his, “I’m gonna miss you while you’re gone on your mission,” he said, pulling her closer and nuzzling her cheek and ear.

Sakura sighed, although softly this time, “You’ll find plenty to keep you occupied. You can get the spare room ready for Gaara and his party if they want to stay here...”

Naruto kissed under her ear, “Do you think they’d let me come with you if we were married?”

“Dummy,” she said again, “Married couples absolutely never get to go on missions together. It’s protocol.”

“What?” Naruto yelped, pulling away to check if her face was serious. It was. “Then we’re never getting married!”

“What the heck! You can’t take it back now!”

“Sure I can! We’re not married yet!”

Sasuke came back downstairs to check on the commotion as Naruto fended off Sakura’s blows for a good twenty minutes before she got hungry and stopped her attack.

**** **** **** ****

----Sasuke

Everything should have gone back to normal. It did, at least, on the outside. But something had changed, in him, in Naruto and in Sakura. It was just that... he seemed to be the only one who noticed it.

Sasuke felt like he was always waiting, waiting for evidence of the subtle shift in their dynamics. Waiting for something he could point to as definite proof to shove in his teammates faces. But it was like they were practicing a new subtle ninja art form and it was a battle that he was incredibly behind in.

Despite that, he could meet Kakashi’s eye when he passed by, he could function during political training, he could spar, he could eat meals with the team every day... It was just... a weird aura that was hovering over them.

He tried to keep a tally of events, unanswered questions and strange behaviors, but putting a finger on what exactly was changing was difficult. Like with Naruto; they were together more than they had ever been before. They trained with Tsunade in the mornings, sparred in the afternoons, ate dinner together every night, yet all the while, there was something off. Naruto didn’t yell at him as much anymore, if at all. Sometimes it looked like he was struggling, like there was something right at the tip of his tongue that wanted to fight its way out of his mouth- and that wasn’t just when he was with Sasuke. He looked outright pained during political training. But whatever those words were, he was holding them back.

Naruto was also being more considerate. He cleaned, he bought groceries, he picked up any slack he could find. In one of the stranger incidents looming in Sasuke’s mind, he had been walking with Naruto on the way home from training. It had rained the night before, leaving them both a muddy mess and some of the unpaved streets of Konoha especially soft. However, as they approached a large puddle on Sasuke’s side of the road, Naruto put his arm around his shoulder and steered him out of the way of it. Sasuke was so shocked that he didn’t say anything until several seconds had passed and the puddle was well behind him.

He shrugged Naruto’s arm off his shoulder, “I saw it, dobe. You didn’t have to pull me out of the way.”

“What? What did I do?” Naruto asked, seeming truly confused.

Sasuke shook his head incredulously and let the subject drop.

What was that? Genteel instinct? Naruto had never been genteel in his life. No. There was something strange going on there.

Unfortunately, he could only devote about half of his free time to analyzing the weirdness. The other half was working on trying to figure out what was wrong with himself.

For one, he could hardly sleep, and when he did he had strange, eerie nightmares that he could barely remember when he woke up, leaving him bewildered and unrested. They weren’t scary or telling of anything. They were usually just normal, daily life scenes, but in the dream, Sasuke was afraid and he didn’t know why.

He was also getting nauseous often, and for no reason that he could figure out. Sometimes it happened when he first woke up in the morning, other times, it was right after dinner. Part of him thought that Naruto gave him the excuse of feeling “sick” so many times that his body actually listened and complied.

He had a hard time fending off Sakura the Medic, who happened to hear him one morning. Even though she had subjected him to a full examination at the hospital and came up with nothing, she still gave him worried looks when she thought he wouldn’t notice.

A little over three weeks after the mission, Sakura cornered him in his bedroom. She sat down primly on the edge of his bed, obviously steeling herself into healer mode.

“I know you’ve been worn down a lot lately,” Sakura said with such certainty that a denial would have seemed childish.

Sasuke nodded.

“I think, as your team mate, it’s my responsibility to help you in any way I know how. So I was wondering... have you considered the idea that your physical ailments might be the result of a stress disorder?”

“A stress disorder?”

“I suppose you might call it chronic stress or anxiety, maybe stemming from a past trauma.”

“Oh. Yeah. I’ve considered it.”

“What do you think?” Sakura asked.

“Maybe. I suppose it could be.”

Sakura nodded.

“There are treatments you could try, Sasuke-kun. People you could talk to about it- people other than me or Naruto.”

Silence fell between them. Sakura looked like she was milling over something she wanted to say. Sasuke didn’t know where to go with this conversation.

Of course he had considered that his problems were all in his head. It was fairly normal for ninjas to deal with depression and anxiety, despite their training. They had learned about it all the way back at the academy. But there were complications to that too.

First, he wasn’t sure it was enough to just have someone listen to his problems. Despite what Sakura might have thought, she and Naruto were still the only people he was comfortable enough to do that with. It also seemed unlikely that he would find someone who would help him get rid of the memories and not just make him drag them all up again.

Not only that, but the past was so long ago now. He had fused his memories with his life and fueled his rage with them to the point where they didn’t feel like memories, rather... physical parts of him. He didn’t need the rage anymore, but he was at a loss as to how to get rid of all the excess fuel after the fire had been put out.

And on top of everything else, he had a sneaking suspicion that other people would think he deserved to suffer for his bad decisions, no matter the cause. He didn’t expect most people to be as empathetic as Sakura and Naruto. He also wasn’t crazy about the idea that someone in the Konoha populous would have had an intimate view of the future Hokage’s advisor’s mind. So “help” in the form of other people seemed like a dead end.

“Is there any way I could deal with it myself?” Sasuke asked.

Sakura rubbed her hands together as she thought, “I researched a few things last week. Diets, meditations, control exercises. Our resources are limited right now in the way of written information since the libraries were pretty well demolished. But I could ask the psychiatrist at the hospital to teach me some techniques, and I know some healing meditations that are good for centering... They also just happen to do wonders for your hair, skin , and nails,” she joked lightly.

“Could you teach me that? Maybe I could use it when...” he wasn’t sure what to say- when he was stressed? When he woke up nauseous? When he couldn’t keep down his dinner?

“Of course I can. When do you want to learn?” Sakura asked.

“What are you doing right now?” He asked.

“Nothing!” She said, and her smile was so bright that he got another stab in his chest, the place that still felt guilty for his part in the whole kissing thing.

Why does she have to be so happy just to help me? he thought, She could be faking it... but I don’t deserve that kind of effort and consideration either.

They worked together until late evening when Naruto came upstairs looking for them. When he found them, they were sitting face to face on the floor with their eyes closed, the room almost completely dark since the sun had set.

“What are you guys doing?” Naruto asked as he turned on the light, a chuckle in his voice.

“Medical techniques,” Sakura said with a grimace, squinting as her eyes adjusted.

“Eh? Is Sasuke sick?” Naruto asked, walking further into the room.

Sasuke shook his head. “No. I just asked her to teach it to me.”

“Do you feel confident in it yet, Sasuke-kun?” Sakura asked.

“I’m not sure. I should probably just copy it outright with the sharingan. I can’t tell what’s happening if I don’t have an injury.”

“I’m not sure if it will help you much in this case. It’s more of an internal process so there’s not much to copy. You’ll get it, though. I can move my energy through you and show you how it feels again after dinner, if you want.”

“It’s ok. We can stop for today,” Sasuke said. Naruto walked over to them and held out a hand to each. They both took it, then yanked, sending Naruto careening foreword as they stood up. As Naruto complained, Sakura laughed. Despite all of the uncertainty, it was a comfort to know that he could still be in sync with Sakura. Even if she never sunk quite to his level, he could always get to hers with a bit of effort. It was nice, but it would have been nicer if he was sure that she actually forgave him.

Sakura smiled through dinner, which made Naruto happy, which made him more of a clown than usual. Sasuke felt relaxed; it had been awhile since the team was like this. Maybe everything was going back to normal; Sakura had sought him out, after-all.

After dinner, he had settled back into his room when there was a knock on his door for the second time that day.

Naruto opened it without waiting, peeking around the edge. Why did they even bother knocking if they didn’t wait to hear whether he wanted them to come in or not?

“What?” Sasuke asked.

“I’m saying goodnight.”

“...to who?”

“To you, baka! You skipped out of the kitchen before I could say it! Don’t stay up too late,” Naruto cautioned, managing to reel himself back down to a regular tone.

“Yeah...” Sasuke was at a loss as to what else to say.

Naruto left again, shutting the door behind him.

Sasuke went through his night routine, getting undressed, putting his things together for the next morning, but when he was done, he had no interest in getting into bed. He didn’t know what to do.

Checking on him before bed just to say goodnight... Sasuke wouldn’t go as far as to say Naruto would never do that, but when had he ever done it in the past?

Sasuke opened his window and scampered up on to the roof. It was cold, much colder than he thought, and he went inside to put on the robe that Sakura gave him, and a pair of socks. He took a few long breaths of night air and watched the steam rise from his mouth, but found that he was too annoyed to sit still, and went back inside to get some shoes so he could take a walk.

As he walked, he thought. He didn’t know what to do when things were changing like this. How could his team be different and the same all at once?

When he reached the village wall, he climbed on to it. It was so cold that it felt wet, even through the seat of his robe, but it seemed like the cold was keeping out the sick feeling. He wasn’t scared; it wasn’t like being in the forest. He didn't have to run away. But he felt like he was just waiting, waiting for something to drop on him. And the longer it took, the more it felt like a brewing disaster.

He sat on the wall until he felt the night begin to change into pre-dawn. When his feet hit the ground after he jumped down, he stumbled a little, his body stiff from the cold. He was finally tired enough to try to sleep, for all the good it would do him. He walked back home without answers.

**** **** **** ****

“Let’s break for lunch,” Tsunade said, giving Sasuke a long, cold stare before she stood and left. There were no words that could have been more welcome to him... except for maybe, “You’re dismissed,” or, “Go home.”

Sleeping had been hard, even after his walk, but waking up after only an hour of it had been even harder. Someone told him once that it was important to train in times like that- that it taught you how you’d respond under similar conditions on a mission. He had washed his face, gotten dressed and threw-up, repeating to himself, This is training. This is training. This is training.

Someone had apparently given Tsunade the same advice once, because she didn’t seem too concerned about his less than stellar performance. “We’ll take fifteen,” she said, and Sasuke didn’t know if he should be mad that he wasn’t getting more of a break or glad that that meant the day would be over sooner.

“Fifteen? I’ll barely make it to the shop and back!” Naruto complained to Tsunade’s retreating form, then cast a wary look at Sasuke, probably trying to calculate how much he would slow him down.

“Are you going to get lunch for you and Sasuke? Pick me up something too,” Kakashi said, briefly looking up from his book to glance at Naruto.

“Argh, thats gonna slow the order down,” Naruto growled, but he was already out of the door. Sasuke, whose appetite hadn’t been huge lately anyway, couldn’t find the energy to be invested in his friends plight, and in the silence of the room, he couldn’t help but droop a little, propping his elbow on the table and leaning his head against his arm.

He was in a state between awake and asleep when Kakashi’s voice dragged him back to reality.

“What?” Sasuke asked, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice.

“I said, I know you don’t like me, but if you need help, you can ask me, you know? I’m not going to make fun of you,” Kakashi added, although to Sasuke’s ear’s it seemed like that was exactly what Kakashi wanted to do by adding on that little comment.

As it was, Sasuke didn’t have the energy to deal with the older man gracefully and found himself chuckling in response. Kakashi, who was possibly the most annoying person in his life at the moment, helping?

“What’s with you?” Sasuke asked, not bothering to hide his disgust, “Creeping around after Sakura and doing “special training” with Naruto and now this. You’re about to become Hokage; what’s the point in pretending to act like our teacher when the time for that is over?”

“You’re asking me, but have you ever thought about the answer yourself? Why I’m hanging around so much?” Kakashi asked, closing his book and looking at him with a serious expression.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, “Sure.”

“Tell me then.”

Sasuke sneered at him, “You still think I’m dangerous, right? You’re trying to protect your precious successor and his girlfriend from my influence.”

Kakashi shook his head, “Nope. Not even close. They don’t need me for that anymore.”

If that wasn’t it, then Sasuke wasn’t going to play twenty questions with him. He closed his eyes again, his breathing deepening immediately. He heard Kakashi sigh.

“I regret everything. I wish I had done better; with you, with Naruto, with Sakura. If I had been a better sensei, more open, maybe... But I can’t change the past. The only thing I can do is be as good as I can be right now. I don’t think I can afford to carry any more regrets.”

It felt a little like he was dreaming the speech, like Kakashi’s voice was actually coming from somewhere inside his own head.

“All I can say is I’m sorry, and that I want to do what I can for you now, if you’ll let me. No more secrets... well, a minimum of secrets.” When Sasuke pried his eyes open, he saw Kakashi was smiling. The man really never stopped.

Sasuke was perfectly willing to let the silence spread between them after that, but, for a nice change and possibly the first time, it was Kakashi who seemed somewhat flustered. He sounded more determined when he said, “Look, I’ve seen a lot of bad times in my life, but I function. I live a normal life, more or less. If you ever want help with that, I’m here, no strings attached. Alright?”

Sasuke, finally pissed off enough to summon up a little energy, deliberately closed his eyes and turned his face away from the man. The last thing he needed was for Kakashi to sweep into his life and dangle the cure to his problems like a carrot on a string. No matter how badly he wanted it, he would never go to Kakashi. How dare he assume... how dare he know he was struggling. How could he know? Just because he came in tired for one day... or maybe four, at the most?

Or was he just that obvious? Did everybody know? Obviously Naruto and Sakura knew he wasn’t doing great at the moment, but...

Was that why Naruto was being so gentle with him?

That pissed him off, too. He felt... disappointed, somehow.

Why else would Naruto be so nice to me? he scolded himself, He obviously thinks I’m pathetic and need so much help that I have to be tucked in at night.

Maybe Sakura thought he was pathetic too, asking to learn healing techniques from her.

He wanted to throw up. He didn’t want their pity. He wanted...

He didn’t know what he wanted. Not pity, he thought again. Every thing had changed, ever since he let Naruto see him get... sick, that night in the woods. Ever since Naruto...

Sasuke cut that line of thinking off. What could he do? What was he capable of doing, with Naruto and Sakura acting so strange all the time now? He suddenly thought that if they weren’t acting so strange, then maybe he wouldn’t still be feeling so strange.

The door opened and Sasuke saw Naruto with his arms full, breathing hard with a stack of take-out bento in his arms.

“You’re lucky they like me so much- they bumped my order up the queue... although I did say that the Hokage was expecting me back,” Naruto said, setting the tall stack of boxes down, “What do you want, sensei? I’ve got-“

“I just remembered I’m late to meet Sakura. She wants to go over the schedule one more time before Saturday, so I’m taking my leave. And this, too,” Kakashi said, stealing the top box, the lid still covering it.

“What the heck- you knew you were going to meet Sakura! Were... were you just after a free lunch?!” Naruto accused.

“See ya,” he said without apology, sliding the door shut behind him with a wave.

**** **** **** ****

The day did not improve. The next five hours of talking (or listening to the Hokage talk while he fought the urge to scream) was a rotating hell of prickling anger that briefly fueled him enough to stay awake and the agony of forcing his eyes open while his mind wandered somewhere far away, only to be jerked back to harsh reality as soon as someone said his name.

On the walk home, he was too tired to even be relieved. Although being outside was awakening his senses a bit, he still felt every hour he had spent at HQ that day.

“Let’s get dinner to go, too,” Sasuke suddenly heard. Without realizing it, he had let Naruto pull him to the door of a restaurant; Naruto was returning the bento boxes from the afternoon. And apparently getting dinner.

Sasuke already felt too shitty to resist.

As soon as they walked in, Naruto turned and looked into the restaurant with a wide smile. Sasuke followed his gaze and saw Ino, Lee, Tenten, and Sai all sitting in a booth, now waving at the two of them from their table. Sasuke tuned out most of Naruto’s greeting, but Ino’s cut right through if only for the threat it contained.

“I escaped the team for a change! Come eat with us,” Ino said, grinning at the party.

“Nah, we’re gonna turn in early. Sasuke’s sick,” Naruto said. Sasuke was grateful, but bristled slightly. He wasn’t sure they needed to know that he was sick. But then again, it seemed there was no hiding it. At once, the entire table, with the exception of Sai, gave Sasuke an intense once-over and Sasuke could see that they concluded that Naruto was right.

“You can stay,” Sasuke said.

Naruto frowned at him, “No way. I’m not leaving you by yourself. I don’t even know if Sakura’s home.”

Ino raised an eyebrow, “Ain’t that sweet. I wish someone took care of me the way you and Sakura take care of Sasuke-kun.”

“You say that, but don’t you basically have to beg for permission to even miss a meal at your house?” Naruto chuckled.

“Yeah, if I don’t do what Chouji says, he lectures me. But I wanna be treated gently, like Sasuke-kun. Not ordered around all the time.”

Sasuke stopped listening after that. He could hear Naruto and Ino still jabbering, but it was muffled, distant. Not like his heart, which pumped loudly with every beat. He turned to face the opposite direction and didn’t move until their food came, blindly following Naruto from the restaurant when it was time to leave.

**** **** **** ****

Sasuke woke up with a headache.

It seemed impossible. He had gone to bed as soon as he got home and his alarm was set for eight, so he had slept for something like fourteen hours. Still, his head was fuzzy and his arms felt weak when he pushed himself up.

He showered and dressed slowly, unsurprised to see the kitchen full when he came downstairs as Naruto and Sakura were busying themselves with breakfast. They both looked up when he entered the room.

“Sasuke-kun!” Sakura said brightly, “How are you feeling?”

“Sit down, teme! I’m making egg rice omelets.”

“I’m going to chop some veggies to go with them. I’ll get your plate first, ok?”

Sasuke sat down, a strange buzzing in his ears. Naruto was making a big to-do about the food. He was glad Sakura was there to give him someone else to talk to so Sasuke could let his mind drift... that was until Naruto set a plate full of food in front of him, his blue eyes searching his while he did it.

Sakura had also sat down, dishing out more food for Naruto to give him.

“Here. Try to eat some of what we didn’t get at lunch yesterday. I’ll give you more of the tomatoes, too. Try-“

Sasuke snapped, “You don’t have to be so smothering. I’m not sick. I just didn’t get enough sleep yesterday.”

The table was quiet for a moment, before Sakura said, “Are you sure? You don’t look so-“

“I don’t need it from you either,” he hissed, “I can handle things without your help.”

The pair both looked at him in silence. He realized he was standing up. He sat back down in his chair.

“I know that. I’m just asking because I care about you, Sasuke-kun.”

“Yeah, same here. I just want to make sure you’re-“

“Why the hell aren’t you yelling at me?!” Sasuke snapped at Naruto again, “When I say stupid shit, you yell at me. That’s how it’s always been. Ever since the mission, you’ve been different. And you...” he leveled a look at Sakura, “You didn’t get angry. At me or him. You didn’t even ask me about it later. Either you’re lying and hiding your true feelings or you’re giving me special treatment, and I don’t want either.”

Sakura looked shocked, “It’s... not lying. I’m not mad. I never was...”

“Yeah, and I’m just trying to be more reliable for you and Sakura...” Naruto added softly.

Sasuke marched away from the table. He wasn’t going to sit there and let them placate him when their behavior told him a completely different story. “We said we weren’t going to lie and that the team was the most important thing,” he said, staring out the back door.

“We’re not! I swear,” he heard Sakura say, their chairs groaning against the floor as they followed him. But he didn’t want to run away. He wanted to shake his teammates until they stopped acting like he was the one who was crazy. He might have been in some ways, but he knew they were acting weird too. But he was sure that the little tally of events he had been noticing wasn’t going to convince them now.

“Look, we’ve been training all week. Sakura’s gotta leave tomorrow, so let’s just relax and play hooky today. We can take a nap or something...” He felt Naruto’s hand clasp his arm.

“Stop treating me like I’m your girlfriend!” Sasuke shouted, knocking away Naruto’s hand before gripping him by the arms and pulling him around until they were face to face. There was no reaction to the violent manhandling, however. Naruto seemed flustered. He hadn’t seen Naruto up this close since that night… but this time, Naruto was shocked while Sasuke had all the power...

Sasuke kissed him. It didn’t last long and there was nothing romantic about it. It felt more like an attack than a kiss; Sasuke’s hands gripping Naruto around the biceps, his lips tense against Naruto’s slightly open mouth. When he was done, Sasuke pushed him a few steps back, and judging by the expression on his friend’s face, he was satisfied that Naruto was finally as confused as he was.

Without missing a beat, he turned to Sakura, who was watching open mouthed and blushing twice as deeply as Naruto, and gave her the same treatment, one hand tangled in her pink hair, the other pressing into her lower back, pulling her closer to him. She was stiff as a board, but unresisting.

When he released her, he walked over to the stairs.

“What? That wasn’t weird, was it?” He asked, not bothering to fight the vindictive smile that was plastered across his face at the sight of their red, shocked faces. “And it’s still even, right?” He shot at Sakura.

Neither said anything.

“Right. No. Everything is normal.” He said, and stomped upstairs, leaving them to worry about things for a change.

**** **** **** ****

A/N: I let the computer read this out to me to search for errors and there were sooo many. It makes me scared of what my other chapters are like. Thanks for reading to this point if they’re as bad as I’m imagining.

Also, I think with this chapter we’re going to be up over 100k words, so woo! This guy is gettin’ long!
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Stranger than the Wild