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All For the Sake of Pleasure	By : Kanemoshi Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Kakashi/Iruka Views: 8217 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters and did not make any money from creating this story.

Chapter List
- 14
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Chapter Fifteen

Iruka flopped down on his bed, his eyes instantly closing. Almost as soon as it registered in his mind that the apartment was silent, chaos erupted yet again. Iruka did not even spare a moment of regret as he forced himself back up off his deliciously comfortable mattress. No, if anything, tears of frustration came to his eyes.

Reminding him of his responsibilities, another screech rang through his otherwise quiet apartment. He recognized that cry – once again, Saki was cranky. In just two weeks of taking care of the baby by himself, Iruka had come to realize that his son was more of a handful than anyone could have anticipated. If Saki was not hungry, he needed to be changed. If neither of those, he had to be entertained until he fell back to sleep. And that did not mean just to be simply held. No, Saki needed to be spoken to and be played with as much as a month-old baby could play. Already, the baby had grown bored with the fluffy animals that came in an array of pastel shades. Similarly, giving Saki his rattles and other noisy toys only made him glare crossly at his father.

For a moment, Iruka had the wonderful thought of burning all the books that said newborns actually slept most of the time. He would dance naked around that pyre in such gleeful abandon. That image made the brunet freeze and rethink his current level of sanity. Apparently, the sleep deprivation was already starting to alter his thoughts - he could only imagine how insane he would be by the time Saki started to crawl. Shaking such uncharacteristic thoughts from his head, the brunet trudged into the nursery and, with expert hands, lifted the crying baby into his arms. Resting Saki against his chest, Iruka patted the infant's back until the howls turned into pitifully cute hiccups.

Finally, all other sounds were replaced with the deep, soft breaths of a sleeping baby. Oh, thank all that was holy!

Iruka let out the quietest breath of relief that he dared. Slowly, he lowered himself into the rocking chair. Already, he had come to realize that Saki hated his crib. No matter how deeply the baby slept, he began screaming if he was placed into the crib and somehow jostled awake. Iruka was beginning to think his son had a sixth sense for when he was being put down in his little bed.

Courageously, he shifted his ankle just enough to begin rocking the chair, hoping the swaying would keep Saki asleep for a little longer. All too soon, Iruka closed his eyes and was lulled to sleep by the gentle motion as well as his son's soft breaths.

XXX

Kakashi silently landed on the wall, chakra pulsing through him so that he clung to the building as though he was not currently defying the laws of gravity. For a moment, he closed his eyes and wished that this was not so familiar. Just two weeks and he was so accustomed to sneaking around like some kind of creep.

But two weeks had taught him that it was worth it.

A quick glance into the window revealed something that he had not experienced before in his last fortnight of shadowing. Instead of seeing the usual image of a near empty room, its only occupant being a sleeping baby, Kakashi's bi-colored gaze focused on the brunet slumping in the room's sole rocking chair. Having more than once nearly fallen asleep in said chair, the jounin knew of its comfortable, soothing motions.

But what surprised him was the little body resting against the brunet's chest. Though he did his best to quash the feeling, Kakashi still felt a twinge of anger at the man. Who would be stupid enough to fall asleep with a baby in his arms?

Quickly, he covered up the emotion because he had no right to feel so protective. All he had done was watch that beautiful child sleep, flitting outside whenever the teacher began to wake up. It would not end well if he remained in the nursery when the boy's adoptive father came in. Actually, he had the feeling Umino Iruka might just question why the hell he was there in the first place.

Would the teacher understand the bond that connected Kakashi to that little baby? Would he appreciate how much time Kakashi had already spent watching over the sleeping infant? Or how about how about how his entire life had been turned upside down? No longer did Kakashi take on missions that sent him out of the village for more than a few hours. He could not even accept night missions. Every part of him refused to do anything that might take away from his time with Saki. He had made that mistake with the baby's mother – he refused to make the same error twice.

Silently, Kakashi opened the window and, before he realized what he was doing, he was standing before the slumbering teacher. As soon as he saw Iruka's features, Kakashi felt a twinge of self-disgust for being angry at the younger man. It was understandable why Iruka had fallen asleep with the baby in his arms. He was exhausted.

From the dark rings around the teacher's closed eyes, it was painfully obvious that Iruka had slept very little in the past few weeks. For a moment, Kakashi wondered why the brunet had not been sleeping well. It sadly took him a moment to realize that Iruka was awakened by every single sound the baby made. That sensitivity to the baby's needs could not possibly stop once the sun rose and Kakashi went back to his own apartment to catch a few hours of sleep.

Iruka was constantly awake – he was single-handedly raising a child that could not sleep for more than an hour at a time. Kakashi winced as he crouched down so that he was at eye-level with the teacher. As an elite jounin, Kakashi had been trained to survive on an hour or two of sleep and, if that was not possible, on the micro naps he could afford to take whenever he closed his eyes. Iruka was not like him; the brunet was someone who needed to sleep those eight hours a day.

Unable to help himself, Kakashi innocently brought a hand up to brush the backs of his fingers against one of the brunet's cheeks. As shocking as the contrast was between their skin tones, Kakashi was surprised at how pale Iruka looked. He recalled the beautiful tan Iruka had been – the same shade Keiko's entire body sported – and compared it to the almost average color he was now. It was far too pale to suit the man.

As he continued to study the teacher, Kakashi could not help but begin to piece together just exactly how difficult Iruka's life was now that he was Sakumo's only parent. Unable to sleep, unable to take care of himself – it was obvious that his new lifestyle was wearing on him. The jounin could not help but wonder just how much more of this Iruka could take.

Slowly, Kakashi moved to stand, but froze when he saw a pair of blue eyes studying him with an intelligence no baby should ever possess. Almost as soon as it registered in the jounin's mind that Saki was awake, the baby opened his mouth. Without thinking, Kakashi moved into action.

Awkwardly, he plucked the baby out of Iruka's loose embrace. He remembered the few times he had been forced to hold Kurenai's baby, so he knew to support an infant's head. Beyond that, however, he was out of his league and knew it.

Holding Saki an arms length away, Kakashi had no idea what to do next. At this point, Kurenai would have snatched her child back and say that he was not allowed to babysit until Asuma junior could hold his own head up.

He had been wholly thankful she took her child back almost immediately. Kakashi never admitted it, but he was afraid that he would somehow harm the fragile baby. He could put his hands in the wrong place and the baby's head could snap back. He could hold him too hard – or not tight enough. His hands were too large and powerful to be trusted with something so small and breakable. He was an elite shinobi who braved some of the most frightening situations imaginable without a second thought, but he was terrified of holding a child.

Those same inadequacies came back to haunt him as he held Saki out in the air. For an instant, he considered placing the baby back in Iruka's capable arms. But he didn't for the sole reason he had no idea how to put the child down. What if he somehow miscalculated and Saki ended up sliding off Iruka's chest and falling? What if the baby let out a shriek that woke Iruka up so quickly, Kakashi couldn't make his escape?

So, Kakashi remained perfectly still, holding the baby out as though he was afraid to hold him any closer – which, he guessed, was a good estimation of his feelings at the moment.

After a moment of holding his breath as he considered what to do, Kakashi realized that Saki was silent. That momentary fear that the baby was going to wake up Iruka fell to the wayside as the jounin wondered why Saki was being so quiet now. Considering he had the baby's back facing him, Kakashi had no idea if the infant had fallen back asleep or was plotting some kind of revenge.

In perhaps what was the most awkward, clumsiest movement of his life, Kakashi somehow turned the baby around so that he could see the little chubby face now glaring at him. Whatever he had been expecting, it was not the dismissal the month-old baby was showing. Apparently even someone this young could tell that he had no idea what the hell he was doing.

That thought was enough for Kakashi to crack a smile. Somehow, Saki must have known, since the baby's face erupted in joy and he let out a sound that – if Kakashi was better with understanding the cries of a baby – he would have recognized as a coo.

Hesitantly, Kakashi slowly bent his arms, bringing Saki closer to him. As soon as the baby was within touching distance, Kakashi found tiny little hands grabbing for the top of his mask. It was so cute, the jounin did nothing other than quietly chuckle as Saki tugged at the material, obviously wanting to pull it down.

Of all the people who desperately wanted to see his face, a month-old baby was the closest to ever finding out.

Kakashi shifted his arms, bringing the baby even closer to his chest, but allowed Saki's fingers to remain wrapped around the top of his mask. The material slipped down off of the jounin's nose, which was for some reason enough cause for Saki to coo again as his little hands moved to grasp the tip of Kakashi's bare nose.

The Copy Ninja watched all of this in a mixture of surprise and amusement.

He had the feeling he was doing something right, since Saki was not crying and, instead, was making cute baby sounds, but he had no idea exactly what it was that he was doing. Though he was quite bewildered, he still shifted his arms so that Saki ended up resting in the crook of one elbow, his tiny fingers still gripping Kakashi's nose with astonishing strength. He could not help but feel amazed at the powerful grip the baby already had. Studying Saki in silence, he knew that - if Iruka allowed the little boy to become a shinobi - the baby would one day turn into a great warrior. Already, he was hyper aware of his surroundings and, from the look in those blue eyes, Saki had an intelligence that might even rival Kakashi's. Though knowing the boy was not his, Kakashi could not help but compare their similar qualities and feel a jolt of pride. Saki was strong, intelligent, and otherwise possessing of the perfect shinobi qualities - but he also had compassion in his beautiful blue eyes that Kakashi knew could be attributed to his Umino heritage.

Despite his misgivings over holding a baby, Kakashi cradled Saki against his chest and simply looked at the baby. In the past two weeks, Kakashi had watched from afar as Saki's adoptive father took care of him. It was not until now, as he looked into those bright blue eyes, that he felt a hot jolt of jealousy towards Iruka. Iruka could watch Saki as much as his heart desired - he would never hunger for a glimpse of those blue eyes or the sound of a soft coo. The teacher must know how humbling it was to feel those tiny hands touch his face in wonder. Iruka experienced so much that he must take for granted, whereas Kakashi was now floored by the emotion that tiny baby evoked in him as Saki snuggled against his chest. One of those tiny hands gripped his jacket, clinging to Kakashi as though he did not want the jounin to leave. As though Kakashi could have, even if he wanted to. No, at that moment, the jounin would do anything to keep Saki in his arms.

Kakashi unconsciously rocked the baby, watching as Sakumo's eyes grew heavy. Amazed at his own control, Kakashi somehow knew that even with his monstrous strength, he could never hold Saki too firmly. Somehow, with the baby in his arms, all of his famed strength was sapped, leaving him able to only touch the little brunet with caresses so gentle, it astonished even him.

As he watched Saki fall back asleep, Kakashi discovered he liked having the baby in his arms. If only it was Keiko sleeping in that chair...

XXX

Iruka cracked an eye open, hesitant to move in case he discovered that he was still in the rocking chair. It was the last thing he could remember – gently rocking Saki as the baby slept. The realization that the baby had been in his arms made any intent of remaining perfectly still fly out the proverbial window. His eyes flew open as Iruka patted his chest, quickly realizing that his son was no longer in his arms.

A quick glance around the room revealed that the baby was contently sleeping in his crib.

Iruka let out a sigh of relief as he let his head fall back against the rocking chair. He must have somehow – in his half-awake, half-exhausted state – put Saki back in his crib before he had passed out in the chair. Blinking a few times, the teacher saw the sunlight streaming through the nursery window. Sunlight meant morning – that meant that Saki had not woken up for at least a few hours. Iruka could not recall moving out of the rocking chair, so unless he was starting to sleepwalk whenever the baby woke up, that meant that Saki was finally starting to sleep a little better.

He let up a soft prayer of thanks. He was not sure if he would be able to handle another day without a moment's reprieve. Slowly, he got out of the chair and stood up next to the crib. He reached down and gingerly touched Saki's round little belly. For a moment, he let a traitorous thought cross his mind. If Kakashi even felt half of the love Iruka did for this child, he would be standing right beside him, watching Saki sleep. And it was not the first time he wished he wasn't doing this all alone.

XXX

Kakashi pressed his head back against the side of the building, keeping his eyes shut tightly so that he could keep the image of Sakumo in his mind. He had held that beautiful baby in his arms for hours, surprised with how natural it was to feel the baby's chest rise and fall as he held him, listening to his soft coos and breaths for air. Every time Saki woke up, Kakashi rocked him and somehow kept him from crying. He allowed the baby's curious hands to pull at his mask, revealing a face that Kakashi had spent a lifetime hiding from the rest of the world.

When he had sensed Iruka beginning to wake up, he had awkwardly put Saki back in his crib, but somehow did not wake the baby back up. Though it felt like he was ripping a part of himself out, he somehow made his escape before the brunet discovered him. Kakashi didn't know why, but he knew Iruka could not find out that he adored that little baby.

He could watch Saki at night, when he was certain Iruka was unconscious. He could take care of the little boy and make sure that Iruka got the sleep he so desperately needed. He could learn how to hold the baby and play with him for those few glorious hours. He could live with being there for Saki only when night fell and Iruka was asleep.

That way, he could be a bit of the father Keiko had so wanted him to be.
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All For the Sake of Pleasure