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Hold On Tightly, Let Go Lightly	By : yolotengo Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1364 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto/Naruto Shippuden or any of the characters of Naruto nor do I make any money from my writing

Chapter List
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It had taken Naruto awhile to even get to Orochimaru’s, as he lived on the other side of town, and he had no money. He’d had to walk. As usual, he’d been invited right in and shown to the old man’s room. There, he was surprised as the Sannin didn’t push him for sex. Instead, he was sympathetic and gave Naruto access to his liquor cabinet.

The Uzumaki was offered a ride home later, as he was completely plastered. He was driven back to Sasuke’s in a limo and left to make his way back upstairs. The ride up the elevator seemed to take forever, and he tripped on his way out.

Whimpering, Naruto crawled all the way to Sasuke’s door and fished his keys out. He tried at least twenty times to get the stupid metal into the lock, but his coordination was non-existant.

“Sasukeeeee!” he called loudly, banging on the door. He didn’t care about waking anyone else. “Lemme innnn! My hands don’t workkk!”

Hearing the blonde’s voice, Sasuke got up from his position on the floor that he had found himself in and headed to the front door, unlocking and opening it, seeing the boy on the ground.

“Oh my god... Are you alright? Jesus... what happened?” The raven wasn’t any better off than Naruto was at the moment so he was clearly overreacting.

“’M drunk!” Naruto announced, tilting his head up to look at Sasuke through bleary eyes. He blinked rapidly as he tried to focus on the face he knew so well, but it remained hazy. “Told you I’d be back,” he mumbled as he crawled between Sasuke’s legs and into the apartment. He groaned at the bright lights and sprawled out on the kitchen floor on his stomach, hiding his face away in the crook of his arm.

Closing and locking the door, Sasuke made his way into the kitchen and almost tripped over the blonde laying on the floor. “Are you serious? You know it’s not even comfortable in here... I mean, wouldn’t you rather lay down on a bed... or a carpet?”

“No,” Naruto grumbled, swatting at the older man with his free hand. “I don’t deserve comfortable… and I’mma probably puke. It’s prolly better if I do that here… Or…” Uncurling himself, the blond held his arms out pathetically. “Drag me to the bathroom, S’uke…”

Sasuke couldn’t help but start laughing at how cute the blonde was at the moment. Although he was wasted himself, it didn’t change the fact that Naruto was adorable. Lifting the boy from the floor, Sasuke helped him to the bathroom and sat him in front of the toilet, lifting the lid up just in time.

Naruto doubled over the toilet and let loose immediately. He whimpered as his stomach emptied itself into the bowl, his eyes watering horribly. The pain was intense. His stomach muscles clenched over and over again, and the terrible bruises covering his body sent sharp pains running through him.

When finished, the blond whined and crawled across the floor, climbing into the bathtub and spreading out inside of it. It was actually pretty comfortable…

Sasuke looked over at the tub and raised an eyebrow before flushing the toilet. “What are you doing in there baby....? You’re not supposed to sleep in a bathtub...” Crawling to the tub, he tried to grab Naruto’s hand only to have it pulled away and the blonde curl in on himself. It hurt a bit but deep down, he knew Naruto wasn’t trying to hurt his feelings.

“Says who?” Naruto mumbled, his head falling back against the tiles with a dull thump. “If I wanna sleep in the tub, I’mma sleep in the tub!”

The blond was silent for a long time, and it must have seemed like he’d fallen asleep. But he hadn’t. Cracking open an eye, he turned it towards Sasuke and let out a heavy sigh. “’M sorry ‘m so messed up… but I do love you. That counts for something, right?”

The blonde had been saying that he loved him an awful lot lately and it was starting to worry Sasuke a bit. “Naruto... you know that I... that I... love... you too but, why do you keep saying it? Don’t get me wrong, I like hearing it but...” He shrugged, not really knowing what he was saying.

Naruto shrugged, not quite knowing what to say. But he knew he had to say something. “I dunno… I guess I just want you to know. I never had someone before… and I-….I guess sometimes I get afraid that someday you’re not gonna want me anymore, and I’ll have to leave… and then I’ll be alone all over again, only worse, ‘cus then I lost you.”

Sasuke felt the emotions well up as he listened to Naruto. Talk about them not being together was breaking his heart and he wanted nothing more than too take the blonde in his arms and reassure him. But he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to at the moment, seeing as how Naruto wasn’t very receptive to affection right then.

“There’s no way I would leave you... ever... you’re staying here forever and I know it because I never change my mind about anything.” The next day Sasuke would look back on this conversation and cringe at how horrible he was using the English language but Naruto most likely understood what he was trying to say.

The barest hint of a smile graced Naruto’s face, even if he didn’t quite believe it. Things changed, and sometimes neither person could help it. He believed Sasuke wanted to be with him forever, but that was a big commitment, and he knew if the raven was sober, he probably wouldn’t have said anything like that.

“You realize you just said you love me for the first time, and you’re drunk?” the blond asked, letting out a sigh. “You’re gonna have to tell me again when you’re sober. Remember that, S’uke.” He poked the Uchiha in the chest and then closed his eyes again. He could already feel himself drifting off. “And you also need to go to bed. You’re prolly gonna have a hangover tomorrow. We both probably will…”

Sasuke knew exactly what he had said, and knew what it meant too. It took Naruto pointing it out for it to really sink in. And now that he’d said how he felt, he was confident now and would most definitely tell the blonde that he loved him... Because it was true.

“But I want to stay here with you... I don’t want either of us to be alone.” Sasuke leaned his head on his arms that were draped over the bathtub. In reality they could both fit in the tub but Sasuke really had no desire to actually get in.

“But ‘m comfortable,” Naruto grumbled, not feeling up to moving in the least. He was going to spend the night there. While he didn’t feel entirely comfortable being touched, he knew he had to get over it. Easier said than done, but he was making Sasuke suffer, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. “Get blankets and pillows… I want you to sleep with me, and I’m not moving. Come squeeze in here with me, S’uke… Please?”

Not even hesitating, Sasuke nodded and stood. He wobbled a bit, trying to get his balance and made his way into the bedroom to grab two pillows and a comforter. Back in the bathroom, he made sure there was enough room before stepping in and sitting down next to Naruto, handing the boy a pillow and fanning the blanket out over the both of them. Scooting down, he placed his own pillow under his head and snuggled against the blonde, careful not to wrap his arms around the slim body, knowing there were bruises there.

“Comfortable?” he asked, placing a gentle kiss to the tan cheek.

Naruto stuffed the pillow beneath his head and sighed as the blanket covered him. He belatedly realized he was still dressed, but he wasn’t going to move. Well…. He did move enough that he could lay his head against Sasuke, not caring about his bruises as he snuggled right against him. Almost on top of him. His feeling about it seemed to have changed… Now, all he wanted was to be held close by the one person he knew would never, ever hurt him.

“Very,” he whispered, his voice tight with emotion. He didn’t want to cry again. He refused. “Thanks, S’uke…”

Feeling Naruto against him, Sasuke let an arm wrap around the blonde’s hips, trying to avoid the bruise to the teen’s side.

“You know I’d do anything for you Naruto... anything.” His voice was a bit tired already and he could feel himself falling into sleep quickly.

“I know… You already do too much for me…” Naruto whispered, shifting again until he really was on top of Sasuke. He stretched out along the length of the tub, his body settled between the raven’s legs, his head still on his chest. It was so comfortable that within seconds, he passed right out.

Sasuke drifted off shortly after, his last action was pressing a kiss to Naruto’s forehead. His sleep was deep and dreamless, courtesy of the alcohol and it was the most comfortable he’d slept in a while.

XX

The next morning however, wasn’t so pleasant as Sasuke woke up with excruciating pain running through his head and he groaned out loud at how much it hurt. Maybe drinking last night wasn’t such a good idea, he definitely couldn’t hold it well.

Whereas Naruto had fallen asleep first, he didn’t stay that way. A couple of times he awoke in the midst of a nightmare. His body would jerk, covered in cold sweat, and his cheeks were soaked with tears. He hadn’t woken Sasuke, though, which was all he cared about.

By the time morning came around, Naruto was still exhausted. He, too, woke with a horrible headache. His pulse pounded through his ears, and his mouth felt so dry and grainy, like it was full of sand. He groaned as his eyes blinked open, and sat up. He was used to waking up hungover, but that didn’t mean he liked it.

“Oh, man…” he muttered, crawling over the side of the tub. “Stay… Just… stay there…” He disappeared for a few minutes and came back with two sports drinks and some painkillers. He set them on the side of the tub before crawling back in and resuming the same position he’d slept in. “That’ll help…”

“I’m not used to hangovers... I feel horrible.” Sasuke took the pills and swallowed them with the cold drink before settling back down. “Thanks... you ‘re so sweet for taking care of me. I wish I knew what to do so I can take care of you...”

“I’m just used to it,” Naruto muttered, twisting the cap of his own drink and guzzling half of it down with two pills. It soothed his parched throat and he sighed softly. “Later, when we can handle it, we can go out and get a greasy burger or something. That definitely helps... but only if you can keep food down. We can make some toast soon and see.” But, right then, he was more than happy to just lie there. He pulled the blanket back over him and nuzzled against Sasuke’s chest.

“I think I can handle that, I don’t feel like puking... at least right now.” Sasuke took a few more sips of his drink, just content to relax with Naruto in the early morning... or what he thought was early morning.

“If you’re not bent over the toilet the second you wake up, you’re probably okay,” Naruto mumbled, his voice muffled against Sasuke’s chest. He had no idea what time it was, nor did he care. He laid there without a word for the next two hours, drifting in and out of sleep. Thankfully, there weren’t any more nightmares to be had.

“S’uke, I never wanna move again… Ever…”

“Not even to a bed? My back’s a bit stiff...” Sasuke shifted a bit in emphasis, trying to alleviate some of the pressure that had built up in his lower spine. He knew then that perhaps the bathtub wasn’t such a great bed after all.

“Mmm, but it’s comfortable,” Naruto pouted. He stayed there for a few more minutes before sitting back. “I wonder what time it is, anyway?”

Crawling back out of the tub, he found the first clock available and barked out a laugh. “Hey, S’uke! Maybe we should just get up, it’s after four! No wonder I’m hungry.”

Slowly sitting up, Sasuke stepped out of the tub and into the hallway. “Are you serious?” Sure enough the clock read 4pm. He didn’t think he’d ever slept that long in his entire life.

Stretching a bit, Sasuke made his way into the bedroom to pull out some new clothes before he went back in the bathroom to take out the pillows and blanket. “I think I need a shower... then maybe we can get something to eat.”

“Yeah… I do, too. If we go out, I’m not going out smelling like a bum,” Naruto muttered. “I’ll go after you, okay?” Heading out into the living room, he curled up on the couch and switched on the TV. As he sat there, his mind was assaulted with flashbacks of the night before. His stomach lurched and he closed his eyes, trying to stamp down the feelings.

Before, he’d had his heroin to erase everything. It left him void, and he still craved that. Badly. Sasuke didn’t understand what it was like living like that, with memories of his father raping and beating him. He didn’t want to deal with it. He didn’t. He had no idea what to do, since his boyfriend obviously wasn’t going to let him get stoned again.

He was screwed.

Sasuke didn’t take very long in the shower, not really wanting to leave Naruto alone for a long time. After getting out and dressing, he headed into the living room and found his boyfriend curled up on the couch. He knew it was going to be hard for Naruto to deal with everything that’s been happening and he was going to try his best to help make it better.

Sitting next to the figure on the couch, Sasuke let out a small sigh before he spoke. “Naruto... I want to talk to you about some things while we’re out. I don’t want to get into the discussion right now and keep you from your shower, so go ahead and we’ll talk once we leave ok?”

“Okay…” Naruto frowned, lifting his head to look at Sasuke. He nodded after a moment. He owed his boyfriend that much. “Sure. I won’t be long.”

Standing, he made his way into the bathroom and flicked on the water. Climbing under the hot spray, he scrubbed his body down and washed his hair out, until he was sure he wouldn’t smell of stale alcohol anymore. He dressed in some loose jeans and found one of Sasuke’s sweatshirts, tugging it on. It smelled like the Uchiha, and it was so soft and warm. It made him feel better. After finding socks and tugging his sneakers on, he was ready to go.

Once Naruto had come back into the living room, fully dressed, sasuke stood and slipped on his own shoes, heading out the door with the blonde. He noticed Naruto was wearing one of his sweatshirts and it warmed his heart to know that the act brought obvious comfort to the boy.

Once in the car, there was a moment of awkward silence that stretched for a moment or two before Sasuke cleared his throat. “So... what do you feel like? I can go for anything right now.”

Naruto pulled his seatbelt across his body and clicked it into place. His lips pursed as he tried to decide what he wanted. He didn’t really care. As long as it was greasy and horrible for him, it would be good enough. “I don’t know. A burger, I guess. There’s a place not far from here that has really good ones.”

He directed Sasuke towards the restaurant, and when they’d arrived he climbed out of the car and immediately moved to his boyfriend’s side, taking his hand.

Closing his hand around Naruto’s, Sasuke led them inside and they were led to a table by a hostess who set two menus down in front of them and left for a moment so the two could decide on drinks.

Looking over the menu, Sasuke wasn’t really focused on food. Instead, he was trying to figure out how to start the conversation he wanted to have with his boyfriend, concerning what was going on with his father. He wasn’t sure how well Naruto would take to what he was thinking, but it was worth a try.

The waitress came to take their drink orders not long afterwards, and left as soon as she’d gotten them. Perhaps she sensed the tension between the two. Naruto could definitely feel it. “Look, S’uke… I know you have something on your mind. I can see you thinking over there. Let’s just start, okay? It’s better to get it over with…”

Sasuke nodded and prepared himself for the worst case scenario. “I was thinking about... maybe you trying out some kind of therapy... you know, to help you with everything.” He could already feel himself dreading the rejection to the idea and really hoped the blonde thought about it thoroughly before dismissing it.

“You want me to see a therapist?” Naruto repeated slowly, sitting back in his seat. He stared down at his lap where he wrung his hands. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. On one hand, he knew it could possibly help him with everything that was happening – but really, could it when there was a great chance it could happen again, and continue to happen until he turned 18? Would it really accomplish anything? “I’ll… I’m not going to say no, S’uke. I don’t know how I feel about it yet, but I’ll… think about it at least.”

The raven nodded, satisfied that he at least got a ‘maybe’ out of the blonde. “Tht’s all I ask... thank you.”

Sasuke felt it would really benefit Naruto a great deal. He knew he could keep the blonde safe, no matter what it took, he would. But to make all the nightmares go away was an entirely different story.

The waitress came back with their drinks. Sasuke sipped at his 7-up idly before he looked over the menu again, concentrating a bit more on food this time.

Naruto let out a long breath. “Was that the only thing you wanted to talk to me about? God, I thought it was going to be something much worse than that….”

Picking up his menu, he started looking through it, even though he was pretty sure he knew what he wanted. “You know… I have thought about it before. Getting help, I mean. I don’t really want to live like this forever and if there’s a chance I can live a semi-normal life, then I want to. I’ve always dreamed of growing up and raising a family, and being a proper dad, you know? Even if that doesn’t happen, which it probably won’t, I’ll always have that dream… I wouldn’t ever be anything like him.”

Sasuke wasn’t going to say anything, knowing how many statistics Naruto would be going against, he didn’t want to burst the teen’s bubble.

“I just want you to be happy... to be content with your life and not have to turn to substances to fix things. I think you’re a wonderful person Naruto, no matter what you’ve been through. I mean, look at you now, you have me, a roof over your head, and food readily available to you. You’re obviously worth more than you think you are.” Sasuke set down his menu and looked at the blonde, reaching across the table to take the boy’s hand. “I know I basically said this last night, but I really do love you Naruto.”

“I know you do,” Naruto smiled softly, lacing his fingers together with Sasuke’s. “But, I know what you’re thinking. I’ll never be normal, not in the sense that you are. I’ll always have these scars, these memories… I can’t blame you for thinking that. Hell, I believe that some days. While I know I can never really escape what’s happened to me, I can make my life whatever I want it to be. And you’re helping me do that. The first step was getting off the drugs… and now, I guess the next step is therapy.” His smile was a little more genuine as he squeezed Sasuke’s hand. “It’s worth a try, right? To see if I can get what I want out of life.”

Sasuke smiled back, loving nothing more than to see his boyfriend smile. It made him feel good as well, almost like it was contagious. “I’ll help you as much as I can, you know that...”

The waitress came back then to take their orders. The two males had their hands clasped still but the woman either didn’t notice or just didn’t feel the need to comment. She smiled at the two after she wrote down their orders and headed off to fill them.

As soon as the woman had left, Naruto stood and rounded the table, squeezing in the booth right beside Sasuke. He didn’t care how it looked to others; he just wanted to be close.

“I never would have made it this far if it wasn’t for you…” He brushed a chaste kiss over Sasuke’s cheek. He looked around, noticing the place didn’t look too different from the one he’d gone to the first time he’d met the Uchiha. What a difference a little time made. He could still remember how closed off and aloof Sasuke had been, and now they were dating and… loved each other. The blond chuckled quietly and shook his head, taking a sip of his drink.

Sasuke smirked, his arm going around the slim waist as he pressed a kiss to Naruto’s cheek. “I think we’ve both changed a lot over the passed few weeks... I know I have. I mean... you remember how I was when I first met you.”

“Oh, I remember,” Naruto smirked. “I’ll never forget that look you gave me when you were lying in that puddle...” He laughed, he couldn’t help it. “And really, how weird is it that getting hit by a car was the best thing that ever happened to me?”

The blond leaned against Sasuke, unable to wipe the smile from his face. “And you’re still like that, S’uke. You didn’t change entirely; you only changed with me…”

“Of course, I still have to keep my edge at work.” The raven continued to smile as well as he enjoyed his time with the blonde, just talking and being together. Those moment in his opinion were among the best.

“Of course. Can’t let anyone know that Sauske Uchiha is really a big softie,” the blond teased, nudging his raven in the side. He sipped on his drink until their food arrived. His stomach grumbled loudly as the big, messy burger was placed in front of him and he sighed happily as he munched on some fries. “This was just what I needed…”

Sasuke had decided to go with a chicken sandwich but it was crispy chicken so he was still indulging, at least in his mind. The two ate in silence for a bit, just enjoying the food and overall atmosphere.

After the meal, they headed back home to just relax for the rest of the evening, Sasuke had work the next morning and he knew if he didn’t get at least a bit of rest that night he’d most likely be a very unhappy person in the morning.

When they were finally in bed that night, after spending the rest of the day lounging around on the couch together, Naruto realized how exhausted he was. He’d managed to block out his thoughts for the most part and it had helped. He’d been able to just concentrate on Sasuke, and what they were doing. But night was a different story. That was when the nightmares came.

“I’m gonna go out tomorrow while you’re at work, I think. Sitting here alone all day won’t be good for me. There’s a store not far from here that has awesome art stuff. I was gonna check it out.”

Sasuke nodded in agreement. It would be better for Naruto if he was able to do things to keep his mind from the negative thoughts. “Sounds good. If you need some money, just let me know how much tomorrow and I’ll give it to you, ok?”

Naruto shook his head, guilt spreading through him quickly. “No…” he said slowly, not bothering to turn his head to look at Sasuke. “You know I hate asking for money, S’uke. I don’t need to buy anything there. Just getting out is enough for me.”

“I know but... you know I don’t mind right? I just want you to be able to know that you can have whatever you want.” Sasuke turned onto his side to look at Naruto. “I know you don’t like asking but I just want you to know it’s ok.”

“I know that,” Naruto muttered, sidling up to Sasuke. He pressed the front of his body up against the ravens and tucked his head beneath the pale chin. “But seriously, imagine having to ask someone every time you wanted something? It kinda makes you feel like a little kid, and that’s definitely not what I want to feel with you,” he chuckled.

Sasuke smirked and tried to figure out something that would benefit them both. “Well... what if I get you a job? I could use a personal assistant... If you want to that is. If you want to find your own job, that’s fine too but I figured it would be nice having you with me at work, you wouldn’t be here all the time at least.”

Naruto pulled back a fraction and turned his face towards Sasuke. “You’d give me a job? Really?” A brilliant grin lit his face and he wrapped his arms tightly around his boyfriend. “I’d love to work for you, S’uke. I wouldn’t have to worry about money anymore, and I wouldn’t be alone…. I mean, as long as I don’t start tomorrow, ‘cus I really want to go check out that store.”

Sasuke chuckled and kissed the blonde’s smiling lips. “You can start whenever you want, just tell me when you’re ready.”

This was a perfect opportunity on getting Naruto to feel better about himself and everything else that’s going on in the teen’s life. A sense of responsibility and the chance to make his own money... at least honestly, would make Naruto feel wonderful.

“Thank you, S’uke,” Naruto whispered, tucking his face against Sasuke’s neck. “And who knows? It might be fun. As your personal assistant, you’d get to boss me around, right?” He grinned and nipped at the pale skin. “Anddd, there’s always the chance for that desk blowjob…”

“There’s my perverted mind...” Sasuke teased, kissing the blonde’s lips again, lingering there a bit longer than he had earlier.

They settled down for the night, Sasuke waiting until Naruto was asleep before he let himself fall into sleep as well. The day had been relaxing yet full of emotion at the same time, hopefully tomorrow would be better.
TBC
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Hold On Tightly, Let Go Lightly