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Fine Lines	By : yolotengo Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1881 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and do not make any money off of my writing

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
Fine Lines Chapter 15
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Sasuke arrived home quickly and made his way into the house to look for his brother. He had to do some kind of damage control. The guilt was already eating him up inside and he could feel his stomach tighten with each guilty thought he had.

The younger raven found Itachi fairly easily, the man only having moved back to the couch and seemed to be staring at nothing in particular. Sasuke carefully approached the man and sat down next to him. He wanted to say something, anything to comfort the man but no words came to mind. Nothing seemed genuine enough.

Itachi knew Sasuke was there, knew that he should probably say something to put the boy at ease, but the pain wouldn’t stop. He could feel himself about to break down and he really didn’t want to do it in front of Sasuke. Even though he was sure his brother would be there for him and not judge him, it was still something he’d rather not do in front of anyone.

“Sasuke, whatever you have to say, just say it. I’m not really in the mood to talk.”

The smaller raven felt terrible. He knew it was because of him that this happened. While about a month ago he would be rejoicing over the break-up of Naruto and his brother, now it just felt… like a huge mistake.

It was true that Sasuke’s feeling for Itachi weren’t gone, but sometimes to love someone meant that you had to let them be happy and Sasuke knew that if he were to ever manage to be with his brother the way he wanted, it wouldn’t be what Itachi truly wanted. So Sasuke was willing to step back and let Naruto make his brother happy. After all, it made Sasuke feel good to see his brother happy.

“I just wanted to say that I never meant for you two to break up. What I said to Orochimaru… it had nothing to do with your relationship.” Sasuke looked toward his brother, the man looked like he was about to cry at any moment; either that or punch a hole through a wall.

Itachi turned to Sasuke. He knew that the boy was the one who had said something to Orochimaru; no one else knew about the relationship. “Then why did he suspect there was a relationship if you hadn’t said anything about it?”

Sasuke didn’t know how to answer that. In all honesty, he hadn’t said much. “I just said that you’ve been spending a lot of time with him recently and I’ve been jealous… Why would that seem like there was a relationship?”

“I really wish you would have thought it through before blurting out your feeling to him Sasuke. Of course he was going to twist your words around, why don’t you ever think of anyone else but yourself?” Itachi was getting to the point of anger in his own grieving process and he didn’t know if he could control it this time.

Sasuke looked as if he was physically struck by Itachi’s words. They hurt to hear and even hurt worse to know that Itachi was absolutely right. He felt tears ready to spill as the thought came to him that he had just lost the one chance of ever being with his brother the way he wanted.

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Itachi woke up the next morning feeling no better than he had the previous day. Even after what Sasuke had told him, which was what he had expected, he knew he couldn't get back together with Naruto now. Since he was already under suspicion by the principal, he figured it would be best to stay low for a bit until the subject passed, or until Naruto turned 18, whichever came first.

While Itachi was furious at what Sasuke had done, he knew the younger raven had no intentions of hurting anyone and was coerced if nothing else. Itachi couldn't blame Sasuke though for spilling his guts to the other teacher, it wasn't like he was there much for Sasuke as of late, always spending his time with Naruto.

He wondered how the blonde was doing. From what Sasuke had described about Naruto's breakdown; Itachi couldn’t imagine the boy was doing so well. He desperately wanted to go and see his ex-lover but knew it would be a bad idea. It would be hard at school to see each other... outside of school would probably be worse.

He couldn’t imagine how this would affect Naruto's studying. Being as distraught as the blonde was probably wouldn't be up to doing homework and with Itachi having broken his heart... he was fairly sure that Naruto didn't want him as a tutor anymore. Maybe he could find someone else...

The thought left his mind as soon as it entered it. Naruto would think he didn't want to be around him; which wasn't true at all, even if it was necessary. The long haired raven sighed as he got out of bed and got ready for the long day ahead. He really was not looking forward to school today.

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Naruto spent the entire night in his bed, not even moving from the cramped position. He eventually passed out from exhaustion and woke up a couple hours later. His whole body ached, his eyes burned from crying for such a long time and his throat was parched but he couldn’t make himself move. He spent the rest of the night lying on his bed, mind lost in thought.

His first instinct was to give up on everything. Leave school, leave Itachi behind and maybe get a job, try to move on by himself, since apparently he could only rely on himself. But, he knew he would never feel right with himself.

Even if Itachi had left him, even if he was on his own again, he didn’t want to let him down. He’d given his word that he would try his best and as much as he didn’t want to continue, he did.

The alarm going off startled him and he moved for the first time in so many hours, unbending his body and pulling himself from bed. He dressed in a clean outfit and moved into the living room to finish his homework as best as he could before he had to leave. When finished, he stuffed it into his bag and made his way to school.

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Itachi arrived almost late as he walked into his classroom at the final bell. He put his bag under his desk up front and began to write on the board. He wrote about twenty questions that he had typed up the previous night and had the students spend the period answering them with as much detail as possible, aka, keeping them occupied for the class and him not speaking. He wasn't sure if he could.

When Naruto's class came in, Itachi felt butterflies as he saw the boy he loved walk through the door. He could tell the blonde had been crying all night and it just made him feel even more like a horrible person. He did look at Naruto this time and tried to give him a smile but knew it fell short.

Naruto’s stomach churned as he approached his history class, almost to the point that he felt he would retch. As he approached the door bile rose in his throat and he had to swallow hard to stop it from coming up.

He took his seat in the back of the room and unloaded his bag, refusing to look at his teacher. He didn’t think he could take it and didn’t want to cause a scene in the middle of the classroom.

Itachi frowned as the blonde didn’t even look at him. He sighed, knowing he deserved it but still it saddened him. He instructed the class to answer the questions on the board before going silent once more. With Naruto being in the room, Itachi couldn't help the glances he cast at the boy. He already missed him.

Naruto did as Itachi instructed, pouring himself into the work and keeping his gaze on the top of his desk. It was hard; he so very much wanted to look up at his ex, see if he was hurting as well, but he wouldn’t.

Already, just from being in the same room as the raven, he felt tears threatening to fall. His eyes stung and he rubbed them with the back of his sleeve before seriously settling down to work, feeling himself slip back into that familiar void.

Once the bell rang Itachi noted Naruto was among the first to leave after practically throwing his paper onto Itachi's desk. He knew it was hard for the blonde to be around him, hell it was hard for Itachi to be around Naruto and not want to break down. But he knew they needed to talk. It couldn't go on like this for the rest of the year. He decided to go to the blonde's apartment after school.

Since he had a key... No, he wouldn't use the key; it would be a bit rude in his opinion. But he would go nonetheless and try and talk to the boy... For both their sakes, they really needed to do something.

After Naruto had bolted out of the classroom, he made his way to his locker to put his bag away. He wasn’t going to bother with lunch; he had absolutely no appetite and didn’t know if he’d be able to keep it down, anyway. The weather was nice enough so he decided to go outside and find somewhere quiet and deserted to sit.

The rest of the day passed by much too slowly. His head ached terribly from stress but he managed to concentrate for the most part, handing in all of his homework.

In chemistry he had a lab to do and for the first time, his heart wasn’t in it. He completed it but he was sure it was terrible. The rest of his classes went alright, though by the time school had ended for the day he was more than ready to head home.

Gathering his homework for the night, he made his way home slowly, his body exhausted and aching. It took him much longer than usual and as soon as he was through the door he locked it and collapsed on the couch.

Itachi arrived at Naruto's apartment pretty late in the afternoon, wanting to give the blonde a bit of time before he came over. He hesitated for the first time since going to Naruto's place before he knocked lightly, hoping the blonde was awake. He felt nervous, like he was going to get in trouble for being there... but he knew it wasn't anything, it was just him.

Naruto heard the knock on his door and his stomach filled with dread. He knew who it was but he didn’t really want to see him. He knew that if he got up and opened that door, he would probably be in even worse shape when Itachi left.

Nonetheless, he pulled himself up from the couch and made his way to the door, pulling it open and staring immediately at the floor, still unable to look at the raven.

“What do you want?” he whispered his voice hoarse from both crying and not speaking in so long.

"Naruto..." He saw the boy tense up at his voice and he sighed.

"We need to talk... about this... I can't stand to be like this. I don't want you to be mad at me." He stood there awkwardly. The boy hadn't invited him in so he didn't think he was permitted.

Naruto moved to the side to allow Itachi to enter, even though he thought it was a bad idea. After the raven was through the door, he closed and locked it automatically before moving to the couch, curling up on the end of it. He didn’t know what they had to talk about. It was over between them.

Itachi gingerly sat on the couch... like he had the first time he was over. His eyes teared up at the memory.

"I had too." was all he said for a moment. "I didn't want to risk putting pressure on you... Sasuke... he told Orochimaru that we'd been spending a lot of time together. He was the one who told the principal."

The raven saw the look on Naruto's face and he continued quickly. "Sasuke didn’t tell him everything though. He feels horrible about it actually.... He... didn't mean for it to break us up. Naruto...” He stopped, feeling his throat constricting. He couldn't say anymore.

Naruto didn’t care anymore. He couldn’t bring himself to blame Sasuke, or Orochimaru for that matter. As far as he was concerned, nothing mattered anymore. He was back to where he’d started - utterly alone.

He stared hard at the worn carpeting for a few moments before finally speaking.

“I don’t...blame anyone. Not Sasuke...or Orochimaru...or you.” He closed his eyes, willing the tears from coming back as his chest tightened with emotion.

Itachi wanted so badly to take the blonde into his arms and just screw everything and take the boy back. But he couldn’t do it, not until some things were resolved. "Naruto.... I hope you know that I still love you, more than anything. It hurts so bad to know that we're being kept apart. I know I'm the one that's doing it... but I really have no control right now. Please, forgive me..."

Those words; he didn’t want to hear those words. He knew it was true but still, they hurt him more than anything. He turned his body away from Itachi so that he couldn’t see the hurt fleeting across his face as a few tears escaped.

“I do,” he whispered, not entirely sure if it was true.

Itachi stayed for a few more minutes, just looking at the blonde. It hurt too much to stay any longer so he stood up.

"Please... call me if you need anything..." He opened the door. "I love you." he whispered before closing it behind him and sliding to the floor, his back against the boy's door as he once again let his tears fall.

Naruto lay on the couch, turning over and burying his face in the cushions as he let his emotions take over once more, choking sobs wracking his body. Why? Why had he let Itachi in? He had been right, he felt even worse and nothing had really been said to fix anything. Not that there was anything to fix, anyways. How the hell was he going to make it through the rest of the year like this?

TBC
Sorry about the short chapter! Next one should be up soon!
- 14
- 15
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Fine Lines