Inbred

Another chapter with attempted humour and the crazy teachers. I don't think this one is too bad to warrant a summary because Naruto and Kurenai have an interesting discussion near the end.

---------------
Chapter 15

Naruto wondered how the students at this school got such good grades or even got any work done if most of the teachers at this school were certifiably nuts.

First there was Anko-sensei who, like clockwork, interrupted Iruka-sensei's class every, single morning. From what he gathered Anko-sensei was a substitute who filled in for other faculty members if they were ill or something but for some strange reason she kept thinking that she was supposed to be filling in for Iruka-sensei. Iruka kept assuring the woman that she had it wrong and that he really was supposed to be teaching the exchange students. She would accuse him of lying and after a few minutes of trying to calm her down and explain to her that it was indeed the truth she'd leave in a huff.

Naruto thought that they should really give her something to do.

The first class they had with Kakashi-sensei didn't go very well either. First of all the guy was THIRTY-FIVE minutes late and when he finally showed up he muttered some lame-assed excuse about his fish being sick and having to take it to the vet. Naruto let him have it.

"Hey, hey! You're the teacher, you're supposed be here before us, if you're gonna show up this late then don't show up at all. There are better things we could be doing with our time, you know." Everyone in the class stopped to stare at the boy who had made the outburst, they all agreed with him but no one spoke up. Kakashi glanced lazily at the boy through the one eye that was visible on his face and raised the eyebrow just above it.

Was this guy really a teacher?

He didn't look very professional at all. His business shirt was tucked out of his pants and while it wasn't messy or wrinkled it made him look too casual, the navy-blue jeans he wore didn't help matters much either and instead of dress shoes he wore a pair of 'Reefs' (1). The neck-tie, which should have been around his collar was wrapped around his forehead in a lop-sided fashion and the fabric fell to cover his left eye, and around his nose and mouth he wore a mask similar to what a carpenter or a doctor might wear.

Kakashi-sensei looked at the seating arrangement form on his desk then looked over at Naruto with a squint as if he were near-sighted. "Ah, Naruto-kun!" His face lifted in a smile, Naruto could tell because the one visible eye was closed with mirth. "I've decided something about you."

"Eh,? What's that?" asked the teen suddenly disturbed by his change in attitude.

His face remained in that smile even as he said the next few words. "I don't like you very much!"

The boy seethed even as some of the students giggled or tried to stifle their laughter. "Oh yeah, well I don't like you very much either," he retaliated, completely forgetting the rule about having respect for teachers but Kakashi-sensei didn't seem to care, he just kept that stupid smile plastered to his face. "And what's up with that mask anyway? Are you a doctor or something?"

"What, this?" the white-haired professor asked as he pointed to the paper that covered over half of his features. "Well, I have really bad sinuses so it's to protect me from chalk and dust. I also teach Chemistry II so it helps against the fumes as well."

Naruto didn't believe him but let it rest.

But if Naruto didn't like him before he hated him now. During a free period, the blond had found a quiet, secluded area beneath a large tree and was finally getting around to reading Jiraiya's latest novel when Kakashi-sensei stolled by him, probably now ambling his way to a class he was already late for. He smiled that 'Kakshi-smile' and lifted one hand in greeting. "Ohayo, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto was astonished that the man had addressed him, hadn't he expressed his distaste with the boy the first time they met? Naruto threw up one hand in a like-wise greeting and mumbled an 'Ohayo' before turning back to the steamy novel before him. He felt a presence next to him and looked up to see Kakashi-sensei reading over his shoulder.

"Hey! Is that from the 'Come, Come Paradise' series?" He asked even as he snatched the novel from Naruto's hands and started to look at the image on the cover. "Ah, it's the latest edition, 'Make-Out Tactics', they haven't been translated and shipped to Japan yet. Ooh! and this one is even autographed by the author."

When it looked as if Kakashi was starting to read the book and had no intention of returning it to it's owner Naruto snatched it back. "Well then you'll just have to wait for it like everyone else," he said arrogantly and turned back to the page that he was on.

Kakashi paused for a moment and then cleared his throat, his voice was now deep and he spoke in an authoritative manner. "Uzumaki Naruto, as your teacher and a senior member of the faculty of this school I am confiscating this adult-novel, because you shouldn't be reading such things on school premises," and before Naruto could protest the man snatched the book from him and ran off.

The next time Naruto had a class with Kakashi-sensei he was forty minutes late. He apologized and said that when he got up this morning his foot was still asleep and he had to wait for it to get up, but that wasn't what ticked off Naruto the most, what really had him peeved was that even as he walked into the room he had Naruto's book holding in one hand and was reading it while he spoke and taught the class.

He thought Kakshi-sensei was bad but Gai-sensei was worse and the little, carbon-copy, Mini-Gai that was always with him didn't help to make the grown man seem less like a freak. Everytime they had gym class Gai-sensei would do one of his 'Dynamic Entries' and his Assistant Coach would gush over him and say how cool he was. He claimed the reason for the Dynamic Entry was to always bring something new to the class and start their training with exuberance. The only other person that shares this enthusiasm is his assistant. They usually want to warm up with some ridiculous task like one thousand push-ups, or five-hundred jumping jacks.

The first time Naruto had his class he had opted for fifty laps around the school track. Naruto almost went into cardiac-arrest, but that wasn't the end of it. His assistant was clearly excited about the task and said that it would be nothing for the 'Great, Gai-sensei'. The older man grinned and Naruto almost swore he saw a glint of light flash across his teeth. He then ordered his protege to bring the weights and the 'look-alike' eagerly saluted before running off to obtain five-pound hand weights, two for each person.

Naruto thought they were kidding at first but when Gai-sensei brought them to the starting line Naruto knew that he was really going to make them do this. The two men took off like a shot and Naruto's mouth fell. How the HELL could they run so fast? The others in the class reluctantly started jogging after the other two and before Naruto could move off he felt a hand on his shoulder, halting him in his tracks. It was Temari and she was shaking her head.

"Don't try to kill yourself, Naruto," she smiled. "Just focus on getting to the finish and ignore those two."

"But," he protested. "Iruka-sensei said that gym counts towards our grade, if we don't do fifty laps we'll get in trouble."

Both Temari and Kankuro giggled. "There's no way you can keep up with those two," she stated honestly. "And there's no way we can run fifty laps before this period is over."

Naruto knew that was true and although he had psyched himself up for this he really didn't want to do it.

"Gai knows very well that most of this class isn't physically fit, just look at Choji. But it's just how he is, he's not serious or anything he just gets carried away sometimes."

"Oh!" Naruto nodded. That did make sense, but there was something that he was suddenly curious about. "Hey, Temari?"

"Hm?"

"How do you know so much about this school?" If he didn't know better he would have thought she was a regular student and it wasn't her first visit here.

"Well, my...umm," she blushed slightly. "I have a...penpal that attends this school. He's the one that told me about the student exchange programme and after asking my parents they allowed me to go and they sent Kankuro as my chaperone."

The blond nodded, "Oh, I see."

"We're falling far behind," her twin brother stated. "We should get going." They ran in silence after that.

Not all of the teachers had their strange quirks. Some of them were perfectly normal enough and Naruto found he interacted alot easier with the 'normal' teachers than the 'weird' ones.

There was a particular teacher that was also his favourite besides Iruka-sensei. And if Iruka-sensei was his favourite male teacher then Kurenai-sensei was his favourite female teacher. She was beautiful, intelligent and had the grace of a swan, she was very patient with everyone and always had a smile on her face. Naruto was captivated by this elegant woman and he found all of her classes to be enjoyable. She taught them how to sit in the traditional Japanese fashion and even how to prepare and serve tea. Naruto was surprised at all the little things he did that would have been found offensive to some.

One day she surprised the class by bringing kimonos for everyone. The females in the class were obviously excited by this treat but the boys did not share their enthusiasm, especially Naruto who promptly voiced his concerns. Kurenai assured him that men did in fact wear the kimono, but if he felt uncomfortable about it he did not have to put it on.

"It's unfortunate," she added on a sigh. "I'm sure you would like very handsome in one, Naruto-kun."

Well, how could he have refused when she put it that way.

It was late one evening and Kurenai-sensei had just dismissed her last class, Naruto stayed behind, there was something he'd wanted to ask her.

"Yes, Naruto-kun," she asked when she looked up and saw him standing in the middle of the class room. "Can I help you?"

He suddenly felt bashful being alone with her and took one cautious step after another. "Umm, yeah there was something that I wanted you to look at."

She tilted her head to one side.

Naruto shoved a hand in his pocket and fished around for the object in question. He handed the comb to her. "You're familiar with Japanese history and stuff like that right, can you tell me anything at all about this?" He knew it was a long shot but he thought that maybe if he found out something about the item he'd be able to find out a little more about the girl and may even be able to locate her.

Sensei gasped and Naruto watched her finger the design with an open-mouthed expression on her face. "Impressive!" she breathed. The workmanship was flawless, whoever crafted the object had an eye for detail and had obviously poured his heart and soul into crafting the treasure and although it was probably centuries old it was still in immaculate condition. Her head snapped up, "Where did you get this Naruto?" it was more of a demand he tell her than a question out of curiosity.

"Someone dropped it," he spoke truthfully. "But before I could give it back to them they had gone." He saw the skeptical look on her face then raised his hands in protest. "Don't worry I intend to give it back." When she saw that he was telling the truth he ventured to ask. "Umm, so what can you tell me about it Kurenai-sensei?"

"It's a very old artifact," she stated. "I imagine something of this quality is very rare and also quite valuable." She took a breath and continued. "If I were to hazard a guess I'd say that it was commissioned for a very important person: a noble or something. Naruto," he looked up at her then and she took his hand to place the comb back into his palm. "If what you say is true and someone did misplace this then I would assume it's a family heirloom."

She folded his fingers tightly around the comb, entrusting the boy with the following task, "Please make sure that you find that person and return it, I imagine it means alot to them."

Naruto nodded once and carefully returned the comb to the safety of his pocket. He excused himself and left the class to make his way back to the dorm but one question burned in his mind.

Who was that girl that she would have something so valuable?

--------------
hyabusajiraiyarulz: Here it is!

----------
(1) Okay semantics is a funny thing. Where I come from we call them 'Reefs' but follow the link to get an idea of what kind of shoes Kakashi is supposed to be wearing: http://www.biteshoes.com/cart/big/8409b.jpg