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Purple Cocaine Prison	By : Ebraheart Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1202 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
Ebra; Cheers to those of you that let me know you are still reading. Hope everyone had a great Christmas. The fic is going to be winding down. This is part one of three and then there might be another chapter and an epilogue. Cheers for still reading.

Warning(s): Mild Language, cliffhangers�

Disclaimer; I�m just having a bit of clean fun. I have no real claim to the characters depicted in this work of pure imagination.

~!@!~

Purple Cocaine Prison

�The Dark Side of the Sun�

~!@!~

{Naruto}

The bruising has gone down. That�s the most positive thing I have to report when it comes to the way the last two days have blown over. I�ve basically been placed under house arrest as has been vetted by my boyfriend and supposed friends and I�m banned from seeing Gaara to boot. Apparently my co-conspirator is also doing time under the watchful eyes of his older siblings.

It is safe to say that I am not having the best time of it either.

Neji and I have yet to have �the talk� and Shika has been dubbed king of my business when Neji isn�t around, which has been practically never since the evening he stormed off after giving Gaara a serious shiner.

Haku spends every bit of free time he has either nagging about something I couldn�t care less about or looking so apprehensive I�m reminded of the damage my little stunt has caused the people who care about me.

Shino, bless him, had enough sympathy to sneak me his Wii which I�m basically using to combat brain rot and the onset of early mental retardation.

�If you play that all day, you are definitely going to numb your senses until you loose the capacity to catch basic sense�wait, you never had that capacity to start with�

I don�t spare Shika half a glance. I know he�s just as mad, if not madder, at me then Neji is, but he�s turned up the dial on his sarcasm lately and it�s gone from lukewarm to hot to ultra scalding.

The only thing that saves me from having to dig up a replay is the fact that I�ve temporarily lost my voice.
In an effort to still be a smart ass, I indicate to him the card board sign I�ve got slung around my neck that reads: �Can you stop shitting on my lawn?�

Shika scoffs under his breath, �Classy��

I shrug my shoulders, my eyes never leaving the screen as I play Mario Galaxy, as if to say: �I try�.

Shika mutters to himself and starts rummaging in my stuff behind me.

I don�t pay him any attention because I�ve been through this invasion of my privacy scenario with him before and there�s no use getting worked up over it; according to him I probably won�t ever have privacy ever again and I will just have to deal with it...unless he just unearth the remote and uses it to turn off the TV while I�m in the middle of something.

I sigh, defeated and chuck the controller over my shoulder; what is it now?

Shika makes a show of putting the newly liberated remote in his back pocket and takes a seat at the end of my bed, back to me, �I�m pretty sure you know how much you upset us with that dumb bull-caca you pulled but as mad as we are, you are still living and breathing. I can tell you I don�t appreciate your level of stupidity but I�ll get over that; I just wanted to tell you that even though you are an idiot, I�ll probably forgive you�someday. I gotta tell you though, Neji just called and he�s gonna be here in half an hour to talk to you. I�m pretty sure there isn�t going to be anything left of you when he�s done, so I just wanted to get that in before I head out�

I was in the middle of rolling my eyes when he started talking and it turned into full on mock-fainting by the middle of it, but the second he mentions Neji, I cringe.

Shika basically just declared the beginning of the end.

Shika glances at me over his shoulder and eyes me seriously, �He cares a lot about you. I wasn�t sure about it when you started out, but it�s obvious now. I hope you have answers for him�

Shika sighs; seeming defeated, and makes his way out.

Sobered up, I hunker down into my comforter. This is going to make or break for us for the last time, I think.

I bury my face in my pillow; am I going to be able to get out of this one?

~!@!~

I was dreaming at first, I�m sure: its semi-darkness and Sasuke�s face looms into view, all distorted and blurry except for the bright lit end of the cigarette dangling from his lips and the crazy eyes peering out at me from his face. I watch him reach for me in slow motion but when his hand closes around my neck, time speeds up so fast I�m reeling from the nauseous feeling I get from my vision swimming and my airway collapsing in Sasuke�s cold grip.

That moment when you cease to think straight; is that when you know you�re going to die?

I wake up every time I have that moment of clarity in my dreams, and this time is no different.

I open my eyes to the ceiling above me and remind myself that I�m still here and that Sasuke didn�t kill me; whether he didn�t manage to or was interrupted by Gaara doesn�t matter as much to me as it should, though it is a serious indicator of how hazardous Sasuke is to my health. I�m just happy to still be here.

With a start, I realize there is someone in the bed with me. A hand lands next to my head on the pillow and I feel a body roll into the dip in the mattress created by my body.

Hair sweeps across my forehead.

I blink owlishly and keep starring at the ceiling.

He doesn�t say anything; I feel it when he shifts and the fingers of his other hand fit themselves over the fading dark purplish-blue bruises on my neck.

Despite the fact that I know who this is, my whole body tenses and winds up so tight that I can feel my lungs trying to seize.

He takes his hand away but still doesn�t say anything.

He knows me pretty well; I eventually suck it up and turn my head towards him, looking first at his arm and following it up to his face where I finally look at him. He knew I�d cave.

Neji�s eyes are a mixture of calculating and worried but he remains stone faced overall.

The longer we stare at each other, the more uncomfortable the moment seems.

Trying to ease the tension and be cute all at once, I lean up on an elbow and put my lips against his. For a long moment, he doesn�t even blink, but he eventually turns our press of lips into a chaste kiss.

I am so relieved I just let my head fall back against the pillow and let go the breath I was holding.

�We need to talk�

I look up at him and very slowly nod.

He rolls away from me and sits up.

Sighing as quietly as I can, I roll myself up too and am surprised when Neji presses a notepad and pen into my hands.

�Since you can�t talk�, he explains patiently while he tucks hair behind his ear.

We have a second moment of awkwardness when I nod and stretch; his eyes fall on my neck and I immediately readjust the bandana I�ve been using to hide the bruising.

Neji sighs loudly, frustrated and turns away from me completely.

I stare at the notepad and slowly put pen to paper: �Are you mad at me?�

I nudge Neji�s shoulder and he glances at the notepad before giving me a piercing look, �You already know I am�

I nod: �Mad that I didn�t tell you what I was thinking or mad that I�m still worried about Sasuke?�

Neji gives me a long look, �Im mad�, he starts, �because he is going to hurt you again and again until he can either have you or kill you and you have no objections about it�

What am I supposed to say to that?

Neji, seeing me pause, continues quietly, �Are you going to keep doing this to us?�

I look everywhere but at Neji, searching the walls and the ceiling for an honest answer, finally: �Are you going to break up with me? I will understand if you want to�

Neji reads and rereads what I wrote; he takes the pen and pad from me and writes back: �I don�t want to break up with you but what�s going to be left of you if you keep doing this to yourself?�

It�s my turn to read and reread and I don�t have an answer.

Neji�s hand on my arm startles me but I don�t resist when he pulls me against him and presses a kiss to my fore head, �I�m going to explain something to you and I want you to listen very carefully�

I nod against his shoulder and he puts his chin on top of my head and takes a steadying breath, �I didn�t know half the things I know now before I met you. I never knew I lived in such a small world. That there was a me beyond my family�s expectations; that there was more to me then I knew. You are unlike anyone I have ever met or will ever meet and you have a problem unlike anything I�ve ever seen�

I look up into his face, baffled.

He calmly smoothes a hand through my hair and elaborates, �You are addicted to helping people; even when they threaten you, even when they push you away, and even when they hurt you�

What is he trying to say?

My face must showcase everything I�m thinking because Neji presses a kiss to the side of my face and continues, �I think its subconscious. That it�s something you think you can give people you care about. That, because it�s essential to you, you believe others need it just as much. And your right�

I let the words flow over me, not yet understanding.

�The problem then isn�t that you�re addicted. It�s what drug you pick up when you need a fix. I�m pretty sure Sasuke is your equivalent to cocaine�

Is that the way Neji sees it? Is it true?

Neji cradles me against his chest and puts his chin back on top of my head, �I don�t want to leave you but I won�t stay and watch you do this to yourself. If you can�t make a choice, then I�ll have to make it and my mind is made up��

I shiver against him and hiccup under my breath.

�I want your whole person as mine. Not in pieces and not with anymore issues then you already have. I signed up for this; for you. I didn�t sign up for Sasuke and his abusing of the person I love more than anyone else�
I try to pull away and look at his face but he holds me to him. I quit struggling and bite his shoulder to let him know I�m frustrated.

I can feel his small smile against my forehead before we both sober up as he finishes: �Remember when we had that talk about Sasuke before? Remember that I told you that you have to choose? I�m taking that choice away from you. Your mine and I�m yours; there isn�t room for anyone else. If you can�t accept that, then help me let you go�

He�s right; I realize suddenly, my eyes getting suspiciously wet all of a sudden. I can�t keep doing this to us.

I am happier then I�ve ever been. I have everything I could possibly ask for.

And I�ll mess it all up if I pick Sasuke.

�I love you�

I croak it more then I speak it but Neji hears me and looks me in the face.

He seems tired out, like I�ve never seen, and I start to understand what I�ve probably put him through the past two days.

I want to tell him I�m sorry but my voice decides it�s made its appearance for the day and fails me.
He just nods and uses the corner of his really nice t-shirt to wipe my eyes, �I know you�re sorry. It�s written all over your face�

I put my arms around him and just let it go. If I�m tired then he�s exhausted; there is no reason to put him through this.

I pull away and grope for the notepad and pen. I pause before I write but when I do, I�m fairly sure it�s what I want: �I won�t do this to us. I want what we have. I think I�ll need time to figure this out�

Neji�s face registers relief for the first time since we started this conversation and I know in my gut that I�ve said the right thing.

But there�s this tiny part of me that I don�t manage to squash that�s saying something alien and when he starts to kiss the tears off my face, his tenderness towards me just makes me cry harder because I know deep down inside that there is a part of me that will never let Sasuke go.

~!@!~

After I cry myself out, Neji insists that I eat something.

I leave the bedroom to set up camp on the sofa in the living room and am happy to see that all the guards aka my friends have vacated the premises.

I want a grill cheese and Neji heads to kitchen, his inner neat freak poking out as he picks up random things lying around on his way there.

As I watch him, I realize how much I missed having him home with me: how much I stand to lose if I can�t personally lay my Sasuke obsession to rest.

Question is: how do I do that?

Worse still; will I really be able to? Even after what I said to Neji?

It�s a sobering thought to know that if Neji and I ever have to have that conversation again, we are definitely gonna be over. Three strikes are all you get traditionally.

Neji wanders back over with my grill cheese and some cranberry juice and he watches me eat with eyes that can barely stay open.

When I see that, I chew even more slowly and wait him out. After my fourth three-minute bite, he lets out a breath and closes his eyes.

By the time I�m taking my last bite, he�s dead asleep.

I quietly chug my cranberry juice and fish his cell out of his pocket before pulling the throw over us.

I look his cell over with a bit more enthusiasm than any normal person should, but mine�s been �confiscated� and I haven�t touched one in days.

I immediately start texting Gaara;

I hit send and get a reply instantly;

I wanna laugh but I don�t wanna wake my husband;

There�s a pause this time that let�s me know Gaara is probably frowning at the phone;

Both my eyebrows shoot up into my hairline;

Gaara�s reply is heartwarming;

I grin;

Gaara�s ever present weirdness rears its funny shaped head;

I scoff;

Gaara doesn�t waste time on answering that comment;

I sober up some;

Gaara�s answer is slow in coming;

I cringe theatrically even though he can�t see me;

My eyes and mouth go the same amount of round, I think;

Gaara sends me a rapid text;

My mind is boggling. Sasuke let Gaara hit him? I convey this to Gaara;

I think the weirdness is in full effect today because all I get is;

I shake the phone wildly until Neji stirs next to me and I settle down;

I am not surprised that Gaara doesn�t answer but I�m still pissed.

He�s definitely getting a piece when I catch him, that guy.

Just because it makes me feel better, I send him these choice words;

Still nothing, which isn�t anymore than I expected, and I finally leave the cell alone.

Anyone else I text will just get worked up over the fact that I am even trying to contact the outside world.

Fuck it: I will take a nap. I curl into Neji�s side and promptly get to napping.

~!@!~

A few days later, I am still plotting Gaara�s untimely demise when Haku brings me the most hilarious piece of info known to man.

Gaara has a childhood friend- stalker.

Curled up on the sofa with Haku, who has spent the past week taking pictures of this interesting phenomenon, fills me in.

�Gaara can�t even be mean to him and his random comments bounce right off the guy�, Haku�s telling me as he checks through his camera pictures to find the right ones, �Here, look-it�

We huddle close together and look at the first picture; Gaara is wearing a leopard print LMFAO t-shirt, ripped skinny black jeans, a shinny silver studded belt, his purple Vans slip-ons, and a light blue head band. He has a light purple and black checkered sweater slung over his shoulder and seems to be chewing on his lip piercing in the most uncharacteristic mix of irritation and affection I have ever seen.

Standing next to him, hands gesturing wildly as he talks animatedly, is a guy about a head taller then Gaara. He�s wearing a white-tee that reads �Spring-Time of Youth� in black funky print, blue jeans, and a pair of lime green, black and white Osiris shoes. He has a tattoo on his neck that looks sort of like a blossoming flower and has his tragus pierced in his left ear. He�s about twice as broad as Gaara and looks like he probably works out on a regular basis.

What�s really shocking about this guy though is his face; he�s got the friendliest, most open face I�ve ever seen on a guy. His hair is really a deep black, with choppy bangs that fall all the way into his really big, equally dark eyes, and a smile that could probably melt chocolate.

I die laughing, �Who is this guy?!�

Haku gives me conspiratorial look, �His names Lee�

He�s looking at Gaara like he�s the reason the sun rises in the morning, �Wow. Look at Gaara�s face. How long have they known each other?�

Haku lets me flip through the other pictures; Gaara thumping Lee on the back of the head with a text book, Lee giving Gaara puppy dog eyes while Gaara looks resolutely away, them sitting nonchalantly together eating sushi.

Haku puts his head in my lap and closes his eyes as if to nap, �Apparently, they�ve been to school together as kids and even went to the same martial arts dojo. Lee�s literally like a big puppy and Gaara�s this feral cat and all they do is harass each other. You have to see it to believe it. He even calls Gaara pet names�

I laugh myself off the sofa and take Haku with me.

Neji pokes his head out from around the corner and gives us a once over before shaking his head and disappearing back into the kitchen.

I purse my lips and take another look at the guy, �What�s he like?�

Haku, who was giving me evil eyes for capsizing us off the sofa, suddenly starts laughing, �He�s like the most basic guy you�ve ever met. He drinks water all day and nags when there�s no veggies on your plate. He�s literally an ultra athlete too: he can play anything. And he�s a gentleman�

The more I hear about the guy, the more I wanna meet him, �Does Gaara get along with him?�

Haku makes a face that�s a cross between wanting to laugh and frown, �That�s where it gets funny. He calls Gaara Gaa-Chan when Gaara�s not around and acts like his big brother but it�s the opposite when Gaara�s there�

I feel my eyebrows trying to take another trip back up to my hairline, �So he�s playing nice around Gaara but he�s actually watching out for him?�

Haku nods, �And the craziest part is that Gaara actually puts up with it, like it�s a chore but he owes it to Lee or something. It�s not awkward, but it definitely seems curious�

My interest is peaked, �Do you like him?�

Haku gives me an amused look and whispers; �Even your boyfriend likes him�

I give Haku big eyes, �Neji too?�

Haku glances towards the kitchen before he gives me a big-eyed nod.

�I wanna meet him�

Haku grins, �I thought you�d say that. He�s hanging out with Shika and Gaara right now but they�ll be over later for dinner�

I clue into the dinner part, �We�re having dinner?�

Haku sobers somewhat, �Well, things have been good lately�you�ve finally got your voice back�

I stare into my hands, �That better not be the only reason we�re having dinner�

Haku nudges me with his shoulder, �It�s a good enough reason, I think�

~!@!~

Turns out that Neji was hiding out in the kitchen because he was setting up, and as soon as he�s done, I�m told to go and get dressed.

I have a shower and spend five whole minutes tracing the whirl tattoo on my stomach. I brush my teeth for good measure and try to do something with my hair, which doesn�t work, obviously.

I head back into our room and try to find something to wear that isn�t too bag-man-at-home and end up in ripped jeans and one of Neji�s tees. I tuck my necklace under the neckline and appraise myself in the mirror behind the door.

This will only be a big deal if I make it a big deal, right?

All I have to do is play it cool.

I wrap an orange bandana around my neck and venture out.

Haku and Neji both got ready before me and are loafing in the living room and talking quietly. I make a lot of noise for good measure and jog in and jump in between the two of them, �Is anyone here yet?�

Neji smoothly switches gears but I catch a glimpse of Haku looking embarrassed, �They�re on their way up. Going to answer the door?�

I grin and go for easy going, �Sure�

Neji kisses the side of my face and gets up to go back to the kitchen and leaves me with Haku.
I whip around and give him a look that speaks volumes.

Haku wilts under it and puts his hands up in his defense, �Don�t bully me into telling you, please�

I stick my tongue out at him, �I won�t ask but I want you to know that I am not an idiot that can�t tell people are talking about him behind his back�

Haku pretends to consider this, �So then you�re a genius that never doesn�t anything stupid that has people plotting ways to maintain your welfare?�

Touch�.

Abashed, I�m literally saved when the doorbell rings and I vault off the sofa to go answer the door, Haku smirking at my departing back.

I�ll get him later, I decide.

I kick my shoes aside at the front entrance and answer the door.

Shika kicks off his shoes and nudges me with his elbow on his way past me, �I�ll leave Gaara to introduce you guys: the washroom is calling my name�

There�s this funny half-laughter in his words and all of a sudden, I�m left with Gaara and Lee.

Gaara is looking after Shika with narrowed eyes that promise a painful death but then he shakes his head, defeated, and turns to me.

I watch him hesitate and I make a snap decision. I fling my arms around him in a big hug, �Awkward is for strangers, remember?�

Over his shoulder, Lee grins at me and I smile back.

Gaara gingerly pats my back but I can see the relief in his face when I pull away.

Seeming to compose himself in the very same instance, Gaara gestures towards Lee, �This is Lee�

I smile at Lee, �Nice to meet you�

Lee hesitates too, and I figure it�s my day to play diplomat, and I give him a hug that he returns with a surprisingly strong squeeze.

�So�, I say noticing for the first time that they both have stuff with them, �I guess we better go in?�
Gaara and Lee toe off their sneakers and come in.

On our way to the kitchen, I get an eyeful of the two of them together.

Gaara�s wearing khaki capris and a red shirt that matches his hair. Lee is wearing black jeans and a dark green hoodie. At the junction where the hall opens into the living room, Gaara holds out his bag to Lee who takes it without an eyelash and grins at me over his shoulder before heading off towards the kitchen where Neji has poked his head out.

Gaara turns and closes a hand around my wrist and drags me into the living room where Shika and Haku are laughing quietly to themselves.

Gaara doesn�t spare either of them a glance and promptly drops onto the sofa with me in tow.

Shika stretches leisurely, �Wasn�t too heavy, was it?�

Gaara glares but doesn�t answer.

Haku swats Shika and tries to redirect the conversation, which I haven�t caught onto, by the way; �That social worker that was looking into your business has officially quit looking; that�s the good news. The bad news is that he�s now a student councilor and Kakashi is trying to add another notch to his bedpost�

Isn�t that Iruka guy a man?

When I connect the dots, it must show on my face because the room at large starts laughing at me.

I knew that pervert teacher was worse then I thought!

~!@!~

Actual dinner is a hilarious piece.

Gaara and Lee brought sushi and sake and Neji actually baked a cake.

At first, we are all behaving but as dinner goes on and people start getting brave with the sake, things get funny.

I realize though that even while Shika and Neji have a small cup that they are nursing, Lee is the only one that hasn�t touched his.

When I voice that observation, Lee actually turns red; �I�m a weird drunk�

I grin, �What�s the worse that can happen?�

When Lee still refuses, Gaara picks up his cup and drinks half of it down without batting an eyelash and sets the cup squarely down in front of Lee.

Lee gives Gaara a pleading look that Gaara smirks at as if daring him.

With all of us looking at him expectantly, Lee starts sweating bullets, �Don�t say you weren�t warned�

He takes the cup and drinks it down with a small wince.

I don�t think there�s an English word that can describe the way Lee gets when he�s drunk.

~!@!~

The next morning, Lee hasn�t stopped apologizing to Neji and me and even skips class to help me clean up.
Neji is pretty amused and I haven�t had that much fun in a while, but Lee doesn�t seem to believe me when I tell him so.

After Lee drank last night, it�s like he became a different person; he started singing in Japanese at the top of his lungs, busting out in random karate and dancing with each of us in turn when Haku put music on.
There isn�t anything funnier then the look on Neji�s face when Lee dipped him after a pirouette or Shika�s yowl for help when he got slung over Lee�s shoulder in a fireman carry.

The winner though, is when he tackled Gaara and blew a raspberry on his stomach.

Gaara still isn�t talking to him, though I get the feeling that he knew damn well that Lee would get like that. Gaara probably knew it would cheer me up and was taking a bullet for the team.

Presently, I watch Lee un-flip the sofa he flipped last night like it weighs less then I�m sure it does.

I am happy to have him with me instead of cleaning up alone but I can�t resist bugging him a bit, �Any idea what that was about?�

Lee makes a sheepish face, �I think I was trying to build a fort�

�Out of sofa?�

Lee groans, �I�m sorry, okay? I did warn you�

I laugh at his pained expression, �Never mind that, okay? I�m not mad. That was the most fun I�ve had in a while, whether or not you believe me�

Lee still doesn�t want to believe me but I see some of the tension leave his shoulders.

We keep cleaning up and are both badly startled by the sound of a wild ringtone going off.

We scramble around looking for the phone and when I find it, I hand the unfamiliar cell to Lee.

He checks the number and answers promptly, �I�m safe and I�m sorry I didn�t come home last night�

A booming voice on the other end of the line talks up a storm but Lee only smiles into the receiver: I don�t think he�s in any trouble, by the looks of it.

After he hangs up, Lee starts telling me what�s up, though I wasn�t going to pry; �That was my Uncle Gai. I�ve been living with him since I was orphaned as a kid. When Gaara moved, I was pretty bummed so my Uncle proposed that I come over here to finish my studies�

I pause, �You were orphaned?�

Lee shrugs, still straightening the sofa pillows, �I can�t even remember what my parents looked like let alone living with them. My Uncle�s the only person I can remember ever taking care of me�

Though Lee doesn�t seem bothered, I personally decide to switch the direction of the conversation, �Did that tattoo hurt?�

Lee looks up and grins, �The neck�s a bit sensitive so I won�t lie to you and say it was the easiest tattoo I�ve ever gotten, but it is my favorite. It�s a lotus blossom. You have any ink?�

I almost say no when I unconsciously smooth my hand over my stomach. Wryly, I lift my shirt and show Lee, �This counts I guess�

Lee stares and looks away abruptly when he realizes he was probably staring, but there�s something in his look that gives me pause.

�What is it?�

Lee bites his lip, �Has Gaara seen that tattoo?�

I think hard but can�t recall whether I�ve shown it to Gaara or not, which I tell Lee.

Lee looks apprehensive, �It looks like something I�ve seen before�

�Seriously?!�

I�ve been to plenty of tattoo parlors in my free time and I�ve yet to find someone who has any idea about it.
Lee walks over and takes a second look and it�s like I�ve just told him his Uncle died.

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I prompt Lee, �Where have you seen this before?�

Lee looks me in the eyes, �Are you sure you want to know?�

~!@!~

It�s a yakuza tattoo.

Apparently, when they are smuggling people, especially children, it was a way of affixing important information on the body. Because it�s written in code, if ever the shipment process is interrupted, the tattoo will seem unrelated because it isn�t common to all smuggling rings.

Or so elaborates the small amount of information that is scattered about it on the net that Lee looks up for me.
I�m not as shocked as I think I should be: if that�s really where I came from, that basically explains my lack of any kind of paper documentation before I entered the American foster care system as a baby.

I call up Tsunade because she�s the only person that can probably give me some answers. When I ask her what she knows about my tattoo, she asks me to come over.

I ask Lee to come along and we catch a bus over.

The apartment building feels like home but not and I can�t help feeling nostalgic all the same.

Lee is quiet and anxious at my side.

Tsunade is stone faced when she lets us in and stays that way as she hustles us over to the small table in her kitchen and serves us too-sweet tea.

She chain smokes about three cigarettes before taking a sip of her now cold tea, �What do you think you know�
I tell her about showing Lee the tattoo and what he said.

She looks over at Lee and gets up to pull a tin of pirouette cookies out of a cupboard and hands them to him.
He starts chewing on one and it seems to help his nervous energy.

Sighing, she considers lighting up another cigarette but decides against it: takes a big sip of her tea instead, �I can�t imagine where your friend would have learned this from, but I guess that�s beside the point�
She looks me square in the face, �It�s true�

I let the knowledge wash over me for a minute, �So how do you fit in?�

Tsunade rubs her hands tiredly over her face, �Back before you were born, I was a regular Japanese student living a normal student life. That is, until I met the man I would never marry but be tangled up with for the rest of my life�

She pauses and takes another breath, �You�re a lot like him, minus the inherent perverseness. When we met, I didn�t know what he was into. Had no idea what he was up to when he wasn�t with me. We dated four years without my ever acknowledging he was a yakuza in training�

�I noticed the ever accumulating amount of tattoos. The tendency to never take me certain places or forbid me from talking to certain people: I just didn�t want to deal with what that would mean for us. Wouldn�t it all end when I started asking the questions that I already had answers to?�

�We started fighting. He�d disappear for days at a time. I started trying to follow what he was doing by watching the news and keeping up with the gossip. I was always a step behind�

She says that last part more to herself then me.

�That fifth year was our worst. He didn�t confide in me anymore. He pretended to fool around with other girls to coax me into breaking up with him; which I did, several times�

She caves and lights another cigarette, smiling slightly when Lee coughs at the smoke, �I can�t tell you exactly where you come from. I can only tell you how you came to me�

When I nod, she takes a deep drag and puts out her freshly lit cigarette, �It was the middle of the night when he came to find me at home. He�d never come to my house no matter how many times I�d invited him, but he knew where it was and that he had a standing invitation. It was raining�: she squints up at the ceiling, �He was bloody, like he�d been fighting. He basically handed you over and told me where to wait for him the following day�

�My parents were away on a business trip, so I was home alone with you. You�d been freshly tattooed and you�re whole body was wrapped in bandages. You cried so much; it was pretty heartbreaking�

�It rained all night and you only stopped crying when you passed out from exhaustion. The next morning, I waited for first light. I had a feeling I wasn�t coming home ever again so I packed like I was going on a trip. I headed out to the rendezvous place and waited more than two hours. He never showed up�

Tsunade stops, slides her tea cup towards the edge of the table. We all watch it balance precariously before it falls and breaks loudly: she squints at the pieces, �A friend of his caught up with me before I got home and delivered a boat ticket to me and a bloody letter. Wherever you had come from, the people who wanted you had already been to my housed and turned it upside down. I couldn�t go back, so I took that boat ticket and I left�

�When I got here, I wasn�t allowed to keep you. As they saw it, we were both illegal and since I had no legal claim to you, the state placed you in foster care. My bloody letter apparently was an official request for asylum which they eventually granted. I kept tabs on you as best I could but I had to set myself up financially to qualify as a possible guardian to get you back and that took some time. I made friends during that time and had you unofficially released into my care when you were a little older. You were just one of thousands in that God awful system: no one noticed. You lived here with me as a tenant since I was trying to prevent anyone from being able to keep tabs on you through me and the rest is history�

I�m not upset; I�m grateful. Whatever life I had when I was born was going to end anyway: at least I got a second chance.

I finish my tea, �What was the guy�s name?�

Tsunade smiles for the first time since she started talking; �His name was Jiraiya. He was your god father�

~!@!~

There�s more to it than what Tsunade told me but I can see how tired she is, so I drag Lee off with me with a promise to come by and see her in the next couple of days.

On the bus, we are both silent.

I can tell Lee regrets mentioning what he did, but I�m glad. I had no idea. It makes me wonder what my parents were like and what sort of place I was born in.

Lee mentions that he knows a nice bubble tea place when we are a few blocks away from our stop and I agree to go.

I follow him off the bus in a daze.

At the bubble tea place, Lee orders me something while I sit at a window seat and stare out into the street.
I start trying to connect dots. Like when I have those subconscious feelings of stomach pain sometimes: getting tattooed as a baby was probably brutal.

It also answers the question about my cultural background in part: I am definitely at least half-Japanese.

Despite how deep in thought I am, I don�t miss the lone figure moving down the block, across the street.

I�d know that hair anywhere.

Just as Lee is headed towards our table with our teas, I grab him on my way out onto the sidewalk and quickly jay-walk.

Sasuke isn�t that far ahead of us, but I don�t want to risk falling behind, �Sasuke!�

He pauses as if frozen and turns very slowly. When his eyes land on me, I slow to a stop and we silently stare at each other.

Lee is looking back and forth between us, confused.

�Long time no see�, I tell Sasuke unnecessarily.

Sasuke�s eyes are on the bandana around my neck and I try not to bristle, �I wasn�t expecting to see you. Ever�
I play it off, �Yeah, me neither. This is Lee, by the way. Where are you going?�

Sasuke gives Lee a once over and Lee, being the nice guy that he is, introduces himself.

Sasuke just gives him a long look.

Sasuke turns back to me, frowning; �It�s not your kind of place�

I shrug, �How do you know what my kind of place is?�

Sasuke doesn�t take the bait that easily, �You like vanilla. Me? Not so much�

�What does it have to do with ice cream?�

Sasuke�s lip twitches, �Nothing. It has nothing to do with ice cream�

�Then where are you going?!�

Im getting exasperated: I�ve had a long day and I just want this sociopath to be straight with me. Is that so hard?

Sasuke seems to weigh the options in his head, �If I don�t tell you, you and Big-Eyes will just tag along anyway, right?�

Lee is about to protest but I smoothly cut in, �Why are you stating the obvious?�

Sasuke plays all his aces, �Does Neji know you�re talking to me?�

Lee suddenly get s a confused look on his face that let�s me know that he�s probably not been educated about my idiosyncratic tendency to look for trouble.

I shrug, going for carefree, �He�s at school and I know for a fact that he has house duties after school�

Sasuke pulls a little sarcasm, �So what he doesn�t know won�t hurt him. Are you a masochist?�

Fed up, I glare at him.

Sasuke�s face smoothes over for a second and he seems to come to a decision, �Don�t tell me you regret this later�

And he promptly walks off.

~!@!~

It�s getting a little dark by the time we get to where we�re going.

The Snake�s Den is a nightclub; of that much I�m sure.

But Sasuke�s right when he told me it wasn�t my kind of place.

It�s clearly not Sasuke�s first time when, after descending a dimly lit set of stairs, we are barely glanced at by the bouncer guarding the door before we head in.

Inside is an S & M wonderland. Leather everywhere, velvet couches and curtains, and doors.

Lots of doors.

Sasuke seems to head for a deeper part of the club that ends up opening into a dance floor with a massive bar taking up the entire back wall.

Heavy music is playing, more purring base then anything else, and smoking is clearly allowed in here, what with the heavy film of fog hanging over the whole room.

I recognize the bartender immediately.

I�ll probably never forget Kimimaro�s white hair and green eyes.

Kimimaro is polishing glasses and by his side is a person so androgynous that I can only identify them as a man when I get really close.

He�s pierced all over; a labret, two rings in the right eyebrow, a beauty mark stud, and both ears are lined with studded barbells. He�s got heavy makeup on, designed in such a way as to be catty and a name tag partly obscured by longish black hair identifies him as �Maru�: clearly a nickname.

Sasuke greets Kimimaro by way of a nod and addresses �Maru� directly, �I need a room�

The guy gives Sasuke a slow, easy smile that drips dangerous, �Which one�

Sasuke shrugs, �It just has to be soundproof�

Maru takes a look at Lee and me over Sasuke�s shoulder, �Need toys?�

Sasuke shakes his head and Maru grins and takes a key off a keychain around his waist and slides it across the surface of the bar.

Sasuke slaps down what looks like more money then he should have on his person and takes the key.

Turning, he takes my hand and motions Lee towards the bar, �Drink whatever you want. It�s on me�

He doesn�t wait for Lee to reply and drags me back the way we came.

I stare back at Lee and motion for him to sit. The look on his face makes me laugh because we both know he can�t drink.

The hallway, dimmer now because of the shadows cast by people coming in, is harder to navigate.

Sasuke keeps me close and soon enough, we come to one of the large doors.

Sasuke opens it and ushers me in.

The second it falls shut, all the noise is cut off.

In the silence, I turn to look at the room; there are no windows but it�s warm and it�s empty except for a low bed covered in that pervy velvet material.

Sasuke and I stand there starring at each other and I�m sure my face is saying something because Sasuke shrugs, �We�re just going to talk right? This place is as good as any�

I think something finally clicks, �We�re in a fucking S & M club�

Sasuke looks at me like I�m not speaking English, �I told you it wasn�t your kind of place�

But it�s yours? I don�t have the balls to get into that with Sasuke, so I just make a bee line for the bed.

Before I sit on it, I decide I have to make one thing clear. I make sure Sasuke�s watching me and I take the bandana from around my neck.

I watch him look at the bruises and the way his face cracks just a little makes the message clear, but I voice it just the same, �Things didn�t go that well last time we decided to talk. You can�t do that again�

Then, I sit.

Sasuke is still looking at the bruises but he slowly makes his way to the opposite side of the bed and takes a seat.

In the silence that follows, I start to feel the gears that shut off during my morning of revelations with Tsunade start to turn and sanity comes rushing back.

WHAT AM I FUCKING DOING HERE?!

I try to focus on not hyperventilating when I�m startled by a loud click.

When I turn to Sasuke, he�s made his way further up the bed and has clicked a cuff around his wrist. I follow the chain from the cuff to a deadbolt on the floor.

I look up at Sasuke, �Are fucking crazy?�

Sasuke doesn�t say anything except he holds the other cuff out to me.

Hesitant, I inch closer and am surprised when he hands me the cuff and holds his arm out, palm up.
I look at him to gauge his seriousness, �How is this a good idea?�

Sasuke�s voice has an odd inflection to it, �You�ll be safe�

This does satisfy my safety quotient though I�m not sure how comfortable I really am with the idea.

Against my better judgment but conceding to the fact that this is safer, for the both of us, I close the other cuff around his wrist.

Sasuke unconsciously tests his reach when he flexes his shoulders and it�s apparent that though he can still move his arms, he can�t take off the cuffs if I don�t remove them. He�s essentially defenseless.

I notice for the first time how this reverses our roles.

Sasuke lets out a breath he was holding and stares up at the ceiling, �Can you light me a smoke?�

I almost say no until he lowers his face to look at me and I can see not only what this is costing him, but the fading bruise on his lower jaw and the faint dark circles under his eyes.

�Where are they?�

Sasuke exhales heavily, again, �Back right pocket�

I reach around him and fish them out. Putting the cigarette between my lips, I light it, careful not to breathe any in, and place it between Sasuke�s lips.

He takes a drag and slowly lets it go and I sit there and admire the sad way he looks cool smoking a cancer stick.

Sasuke let�s the cigarette dangle from his lips as he starts to talk, �I owe you for doing that�, he indicates my neck without looking directly at it, �What do you want to know?�

I crawl closer and sit next to him so that we are both starring across the room at the heavy wooden door, �Tell me everything�

Sasuke talks bout his brother�s disappearance, how everything they own is now exclusively under his name, how there is no trace of Itachi or Kisame anywhere, how he doesn�t know what to do with himself because, as much as he thinks he hated Itachi, he can�t understand why this has happened.

He talks about how he can�t fit in at school, how he can�t concentrate, how he keeps channeling his frustration into anger that typically translates into him fighting just about anyone who looks at him the wrong way.

How he can�t figure out a way to cope.

After I light his second cigarette, Sasuke surprises me, �What�s eating you?�

I almost consider not answering but we�re getting somewhere here and fair�s fair.

I tell him what I just learned that morning, how little it actually means or changes, how much I went through as a kid, going from foster home to foster home, how little I used to feel I could trust others.

I talk about what Neji said, about the way I can�t leave well enough alone, about how it�s tearing into my ability to focus my energy on what I already have, about that piece of me that won�t let things go.

What I don�t say is that it�s the part that won�t let him go and that it�s slowly ruining my life.

At one point, my head lands on his shoulder and we stay like that a long time, finally talked dumb.

Sasuke eventually breaks the silence, �Everyone has something they can�t live without. Worse still, it�s human nature to want that thing�

Is it? Are we fated to wrestle our way through our lives? Are we always going to have to fight with ourselves like this?

I�m exhausted.

Sasuke puts his chin on top of my head and I�m reminded of the way Neji likes to hold me.

A childish part of me wonders why I can�t just have the both of them.

I�m leaning on Sasuke by now, so I feel and hear him sigh, �Do you really not believe I want you?�

I tense, �You�ve never said it like that�

Sasuke pulls back and blows cigarette smoke into my face, �You�re never listening hard enough�

My eyes water and I start to cough at the cloying mint smoke scratching up my lungs, �Asshole�

He turns his head away so that he can reach his cigarette with a hand and flicks it over the side of the bed, �Do I scare you?�

I give him a level look that is interrupted by a second round of smoke that Sasuke blows into my face.

I thump him on the arm and I hear the smile in his voice when he says, �No worries. I�m out of ammunition�

Silence descends again when I finally stop coughing and Sasuke sobers, �We can�t keep playing this game: nothing we have will survive if we do�

I don�t want to have this part of our conversation but now that we are, I realize that it has to happen, �Then what do we do?�

�Do you love that guy?�

I know exactly who he means and my answer is instant, �Yes�

Sasuke is very slightly trembling against me, �Do you love me?�

I am careful to think hard before answering, �The part of you I know, I think I love. Whether you love me is questionable�

I�m trying to be funny but Sasuke isn�t listening to that.

He exhales sharply, �Then give me tonight. If I can�t prove it to you, then you can go back to him and forget about me�

He and I both know that isn�t fair: that it�s not that easy.

Not more then a week ago, he very nearly killed me. I almost can�t understand what I�m doing here except that I can.

I owe this to myself, to Sasuke, and most importantly, to Neji.

I owe it to us all to be sure of my choice.

I can see why Neji didn�t think I could make the choice for myself.

If I do this and I choose Neji, I�m going to have to keep this a secret for the rest of my life.

I make a decision, �Let me go home tonight and think about it�

Sasuke is stone silent.

I don�t look at him when I continue, �It�s been a long week. We�re both fucked up: we shouldn�t make a snap decision like this�

Sasuke finally speaks, �Is that what you want?�

He throws me a line so I decide to let some honestly fly, �I won�t lie to you and say I�m not tempted but I won�t do this when I haven�t really thought it through. Besides, did you forget we left Lee at the bar?�

�Are you fucking with me?�

There�s mostly anger in that charged statement but there�s also a hint of something else that makes me persist.
I look him in the eyes, take his face between my hands and kiss him deeply.

It tastes like smoke and cranberry.

�I am not fucking with you�

I un-cuff him and wait: I need to see if he understands what a chance I am taking with this.

This is test number one: if we can�t get past this, there�s not going to be any hope for anything else we ever try to do.

Sasuke rolls out from under me and stands at the foot of the bed, face clouded.

Finally, �Meet me here in three days�

He makes to leave and pauses at the door, �I hope you know what you�re doing�

Then, he�s gone.

I sit there a few minutes before I realize what I�ve done.

I�m definitely going to hell for this.

~!@!~

TBC.

14

15

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Purple Cocaine Prison