Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Naruto Shit-On-You-Then: The Curse Evolves	By : c0p13r Category: Naruto > General Views: 33168 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own 'Naruto' and I make no money off this fic

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
For this final chapter of ‘Shit On You’, the part of ‘Meanwhile…’ announcer will be played by Beyonce so that this story will win an award because she is a woman… or body with vagina… and is black and if anyone who isn’t black wins an award: racist. Thank you for your consideration…
ccc Meanwhile, last time ccc
            On ‘Hot Springs & Gloryholes: One-Shot Collection’, amidst the weird spam reviews that… how the hell do these get by the Dragons who run this site… copier discovers a new review from someone who will be known forever as ‘tbh-chan’. “You have an unhealthy lust for Kiba putting him in 80% of your fics. You should love and lust for Naruto, like I do.”
            copier, ignoring Naruto’s latest fag’s irony, quirks an eyebrow. “80%? Let’s see if that’s true! Hmm, okay, 43 ‘NARUTO’ stories. Every story that involves Kiba will be counted as a ‘Kiba’ story. Hmm… 8 stories… 8 out of 43… is roughly 19%. And please keep in mind that this includes the abundance of Naruto-only chapters in the ‘one-shot’ collection, where Kiba is featured with Tsunade and Mei. So this percentage is being generous to Kiba. Do you know what this means? Do you know what it means?! Tbh-chan!! You’re the Naruto faggot retard of the year!!”
            copier lunges to a pullcord to drop a mass of balloons and Naruto-styled dildos on tbh-chan’s head. “You complete Naruto faggot! You ungrateful piece of shit who asks for a place to read my stories just to bitch about Kiba because he fucked Kushina! You Naruto pussy! Every ‘NARUTO’ story I post now will insult you! I give no fucks if you’re a reader! You’re a fag! A gay, Naruto-cock-sucking-after-it-bends-into-Naruto’s-own-asshole fag! Whoo-hoo!!”
            tbh-chan blushes as he accepts the crown of Naruto cocks on his head. And with the Naruto wang scepter, he slowly descends his mouth over it and shows copier and everyone just how well he can suck a fictional character’s cock. You go, tbh-chan. You suck that Naruto cock.
ccc Meanwhile, at WB Studios ccc
            “Now make sure to say we didn’t interfere with your creativity, James Gunn,” growls the CEO of WB. “After Zack Snyder and Ray Fisher fucking us, we need you to back us up.”
            James Gunn cowers under the threat of the gun barrel pressed to his temple. “O-okay, I’ll say you left me full creativity. But afterwards, I still get to fuck your kids, right?”
            “What the fuck do we care? A guy who throws pedophile parties and goes to the Epstein Island, and puts explicit sex ‘jokes’ in his child-aimed movies? Yeah, you totally don’t fuck kids. Probably came up with the ‘beach of penises’ while at that island, watching naked boys running around the beach.”
            James Gunn nods, then looks at you and gives you a thumbs-up. “We all know it’s true! But who cares?! I made Baby Groot and King Shark in movies! I’m a genius!” He immediately begins to molest a child while saying, “Want me to tell you what Drax meant about a swelling in his pants?”
ccc Meanwhile, last time, in the past ccc
            Kushina goes to Minato with most splendid news. “Minato, I’m pregnant, ya know?”
            Minato looks up from battering his cake mix. “Huh? I’m gonna be a dad?”
            “A mother, ya know?!”
            “I’m gonna be a dad?!”
            “A mother, ya know?!”
            “I’m gonna be a dad?!”
            “A mother, ya know?!”
            “I’m gonna be a dad?!”
            This repeats for the better part of the hour… the last hour of the next day… Minato laughs happily. “Wow! I can’t believe I’m gonna be a dad!”
            “A mother, ya know?!”
            “Hmm, but how far along are you?”
            Kushina doesn’t think hard. “Well, remember when Jiraiya-sensei came over and fucked me while you diddled yourself in the bathroom? I got pregnant the fourth time with Jiraiya after that… so yesterday.”
            “Amazing!” Minato’s eyes sparkle. “The miracle of conception. I wonder if he’ll look like me. I can’t wait to give Jiraiya-sensei the news!”
            “Oh, I already told him,” Kushina says, giggling. “Afterward, he swore never to return to Konoha… unless it was over our dead bodies.”
            “Shucks,” sulks Minato. “I want him to see my baby boy. How about we name the boy after his main character?”
            “Naruto? But he always told us that he came up with that name while eating ramen.”
            “Oh ho ho. What’s the worst that could happen? Our son for some reason loves ramen because he was named after a character who was conceived over a bowl of ramen? That’s about as retarded and unlikely as him inheriting a phrase as goddamned retarded as ‘ya know’… formally ‘believe it’ from dead parents.”
            “You’re right,” says Uzumaki Lily Potter Kushina. The pair join together in hearty laughter. “This series stole a lot from English cinema! Oh ho ho!”
ccc Meanwhile, in the Genjutsu world Sasuke has put Naruto in ccc
            Naruto sees a falling star and smiles wistfully. “Sasuke, I wonder what you’re doing right now.”
            He gets a boner.
            Another image flashes, and he is now sitting next to Shino in the bathhouse. Out of curiosity, he shoves his face into Shino’s lap to gaze at his Mothra larva. After seeing its amazing size, Naruto looks up at the bug-user with a twinkle in his eye. “You know, Shino-chan… Mmm! I’ve always admired you… Uhn!!”
            Another scene, also straight out of the manga, Naruto is told that he is wind, which is weak to Sasuke’s fire. Instead of strategizing to conquer this handicap, he moans and tells mentally-handicapped Yamato, “Sasuke and I really are compatible!”
            Another boner emerges.
            Then, Naruto’s lying down, fantasizing about Sasuke after begging the Raikage to spare his Sasuke’s life. “Sasuke… I wonder what you’re thinking about right now. I wonder… do you think about me?” Naruto rolls onto his front, but his Sasuke-boner keeps his butt shoved upward.
            Next, Naruto meets Itachi in the forest, and you can guess, a male bird (commonly known as a COCK) is shoved down Naruto’s throat. Naruto accepts this BIG BLACK COCK without complaint.
            Naruto, earlier, says to this Itachi, “If we capture you… I’ll get to see Sasuke again!”
            Boner time!
            Then Naruto hugs his evil self in a totally gay way that was meant to seem cool… but came off as totally gay. “I’m gonna fork the hatred right out of you,” he promises Naughty Naruto. He hugs tighter so that his meanie self can feel his shaft through their clothes. “Believe it.”
            “But I don’t want to be butt-forked,” cries Meanie.
            “You won’t HATE it,” Naruto says to pun the ‘hate’ Naruto. “You’ll LOVE it.”
            In the future, Naruto and Sasuke both get married to the girls who idolized them, who would certainly keep their (not so) secret homosexuality a secret, which is totally what closeted gays do. These two… are totally gay! And copier waits for anyone to say ‘No! No, Naruto’s not gay!’
            With all these homosexual facts that were not made up but actually came straight from the manga itself, Naruto sees the world in a whole new way. “I am gay,” he admits happily, and the Genjutsu grants him… Yaoi Fangirl Vision! That means everything and everyone are fucking retarded.
            Judge Itachi appears before Naruto, straight out of a fanfic cleverly titled… ‘Judge Itachi’. Judge Itachi nods to Naruto and says, “I’m a judge… That’s funny, right?”
            Yaoi fangirls twitter off to the side, crying about how funny it is! “Make Ita-chan have oreos on his nipples!” one queefs out her butthole. Itachi disrobes, and sticks the creamy center of oreos on his nipples, much to yaoi fangirl enjoyment. The fangirls bend over at the waist, presenting their butts to help fart out their stupid, innate, undeserved humor.
            Elsewhere, after licking each others buttholes, Kiba and Shino stick out their – what yaoi fangirls affectionately call – ‘poop tongues’. “We are kawaii!” they sing.
ccc Meanwhile, outside the Genjutsu world Sasuke has put Naruto in ccc
            “It’s time, Naru-chan,” growls horny Sasuke, his forty-foot cock – also known as the greatest thing to exist! So big, it puts every wife’s dildos to shame! Who needs a dildo when you got a Sasuke cock?! What? You’re not Sasuke?! Well, get ready to be cucked by his awesome cucking cock, you cock cuck! Fuck you! – rearing up like Voldemort’s penis.
            But surprisingly, before Hinata can be cucked – again – Naruto’s eyes gain life again. “Sasuke, you won’t get away with this! The plan… is still in effect! Believe it!”
            Sasuke hurries to switch Naruto into a lady to fork his pee-hole, but Naruto counters, aiming his butthole – with small, stringy blonde hairs encompassing the sinkhole – at Sasuke’s face and shooting out a fart of feathers, potato skins and such. Shrieking in revulsion, Sasuke staggers away as if acid had been farted on his face instead.
            Naruto looks at you and nods. “Yeah, you thought it was just a joke to point out how much ANNE RICE sucks at writing. Nope! We’re way more smarter than her, believe it!”
            Fuck you, ANNE RICE. But let’s not forget tbh-chan! What a retard!
            Naruto springs into action by saying “I just learned a bunch of names… like it matters in the slightest!” He sticks out his tongue. “I’m not telling… YOU!!!”
            Sasuke swings recklessly, and though his fist misses, his cock barrels into Naruto’s jaw with the force of a sledgehammer. Naruto sprawls onto the ground, and Sasuke immediately mounts him, digging his fingers like claws in the blonde’s derriere. “You’ll take this pounding and love it like you always do! Now change, you fag! Change and let me fork your peehole!”
            But Naruto has other plans! In a flash, he vanishes in smoke, replaced by Tsunade’s grotesque form. It’s not so much the hair or veins around her pucker that causes Sasuke to retch… but her vaginer… and the stink wafting from its flaps. He reels, falling on the ground and clutching his throat as the sour stench rasps through his esophagus.
            “Damn you, Naruto! Are you freaking kidding me?!” Sasuke concentrates the foulness with his chakra and rushes it from his system in a burp. “You Narutards feel fear, then you must feel shame too!” He looks around frantically for Naruto, but there is no sign of him.
            Not until… a shadow looms high overhead.
            Gasping, Sasuke looks up and, seeing Naruto with his own dumb eyes, he fires his prick upward like a missile.
            Plummeting, Naruto has changed to Naruko to further entice his not-gay lover.
            Naruto recites the oath like the Green Lantern’s creed: “Prepare yourself, and I’ll be blunt; it’s time for your long cock to stunt! We don’t always get what we want. But why don’t you try…” He growls, reverts to his real form, and reveals his secret weapon, the plot that Shiky-chan had planned from the start! It’s all led to this! “… MY DAUGHTER’S CUNT?!!”
            Naruto jams his dead, sun-decaying daughter’s vaginy on the tip of Sasuke’s masculine Tower of Babel! For the first time in his asexual-and-then-sexually-ambiguous life, Sasuke’s wiener slips into the little cadaver’s twat, and he screams in confusion. And while Naruto forces his deceased Hinawati’s cunt down on Sasuke, Sasuke’s cock begins to recede in length, constantly while Naruto drops. Sasuke wheezes as, basically, he is force-fed a real pussy… all the way down until he is a manageable, reasonable length at five to six inches. The three collide.
            Naruto rolls off to the side, panting. But then, spooked, he looks to Sasuke, worried that he has been hurt! What he sees shocks him…
            He’d never seen such love and adoration in Sasuke’s eyes as he gazes down at Hintamarni. Carefully, he brushes back her bangs so that he could stare into her dead, rolled-back eyes. He kisses her chapped lips tenderly; a fly emerges from her throat afterward, leaving the nest of maggots that churned and nibbled about her uvula. Tenderly, Sasuke rolls his naked hips to her. “I’m not hurting you, am I, Hinatarmi-chan?” He rolls her over gingerly and begins to fuck her doggy style, but compassionate and loving; with dignity, even.
            The love-making is about to be interrupted when Kotetsu and Izumo arrive on the scene. “Uchiha Sasuke, you’re under arrest for underage sexing!”
            “No! Belay that order!” Naruto, as always, dives in between his Sasuke and danger. “I’m her father…” He looks back at his dead daughter being worked over by his best friend and smiles happily. “And you better fucking believe that I give my blessing to this union.”
            Kotetsu and Izumo immediately swoon and begin to kiss.
            Naruto kneels down to the thrusting Sasuke and smiles. “See, Sasuke? This is what Konoha is all about: being gay and fucking little kids, as long as you’re not a nigger. Just look at Orochimaru! We accepted him back to our village after he raped so many children! But God be good, he is no spearchucker! And for that, we love him, just as we love you. So after you finish up here, how about we go to Kumo and light some crosses on fire?” He looks over at Tsunade, who smiles and nods as some more fecal matter drips from her face. “Someone very wise taught me the valuable lessons… of the Village Pooping in the Leaves.”
            Sasuke’s eyes cross and his lips pucker and he makes a really lame noise as he ejaculates. “I hope to make you pregnant, Hitamanina-chan~!” He cums in her sun-dried and sun-kissed cunny-cunny cunt drop.
            Post-coitus, he slumps against the mummified girl. But before he can recover, Kotetsu and Izumo force him up and put him in handcuffs. “You’re under arrest for necrophilia, faggot!”
ccc Meanwhile, several months later ccc
            Shikamaru had planned for Sasuke’s betrayal and all that shit; therefore, he hooked a fart to Hintamaki’s butthole to leave her drifting for weeks or days or whatever range of time period this story took. And as for his application to Edwards Cinema? With a bandaid over the hole in his skull, he now is the mentally-handicapped employee ticket-taker that you have to pretend is doing his job well. And you can bet your ass Naruto fully endorses his job, visiting once or twice a week with his love.
            “It’s good to come to the believe it movies,” he says, sipping his Gatorade as he walks through the front doors and hands Shikamaru the tickets. Shikamaru, with a slur to his speech, directs him and his wife to the screening. “Let’s go, Hitana.”
            Hinata, with a smile full of missing teeth from the constant abuse of her husband, nods and stutters out – because she is Hinata and therefore HAS to stutter in every fanfic writer’s story at least twenty times a chapter – “I lovbsh you, Nautho-k’n!”
            As they depart, Shikamaru slurs out a “You can’t bring drinks in here!”
            Naruto turns to his best adviser and smiles. “You got it, Shiky-chan!” He pretends to throw away his drink and easily fools the newly-dumb Shikamaru. Shikamaru, believing he has contributed to his job, does a retard’s dance while Naruto rolls his eyes and scoffs under his breath, “Fuckin’ retard.”
ccc Meanwhile, a few days later at Konoha prison… ccc
            Sasuke finishes with a sigh and slumps on Sakura’s naked body. He breathes like he just ran a marathon, yet the visit had lasted a total of three minutes; two of which were used to undress… and half of the remaining minute was Sasuke inquiring about lady parts, to which Sakura took a page from EVERY SINGLE FANFIC WRITER: “If you touch here, it’ll make me feel real good.” Sasuke did not touch her there, wondering curiously about the hair… the sprigs of hair around her butthole. O, how he sorely missed his own sphinctoral garden. Damn that Iruky-chin!
            Satisfied, though, Sasuke rolls over with his manageably-sized penis and prepares to go to sleep. “Sasuke-kun,” mutters his unsatisfied wife. “Do you think… maybe this time… I can get off too?”
            Her plea for attention, of course, conjures a memory in Sasuke’s brain area; another memory that he conveniently forgot or edited and will prove to be no more interesting than any other flashback in ‘NARUTO’.
ccc Meanwhile, in the past ccc
            Young Sasuke runs like a fruity fag to his brother. “Onii-san!” he says loudly in that grating voice, over and over.
            Itachi looks up from putting on his sandals. “Yes, Sasuke?”
            “You said you’d practice ninja stuff today! Like how to yell as loud as I can when using a ninjutsu, or how to make it as flashy as possible in a closed space!”
            “Wear orange,” Itachi sagely advises.
            Sasuke pouts. “Don’t fuck with me, brother. You’re being a fucker right now.”
            Itachi then waves Sasuke closer. Sasuke gets giddy and frolics nearer before he is tapped in the center of his forehead. “Sorry, Sasuke. Maybe some other time and shit. Now go hang out with your friends while you can before I slaughter the clan for some reason. And tell that Naruto kid to practice shoving big, black cocks down his throat. I’ll be there in a few years.”
            “Okay,” cheers Sasuke, and then runs out of the house. He gallops and prances and dances and shakes his way to a group of lads his own age or something. “Hey, guys! My brother may some day spend time with me!”
            The kids are unimpressed. But then one makes notice of the mark on Sasuke’s forehead. “Hey, what happened there?”
            “Oh! Hee-hee!” Sasuke gestates back and forth like a schoolgirl in love. “It’s something my brother does…”
            “Is that poop?” one kid observes, and another leans in. “Yeah! It is!” “Is that your brother’s poop?!”
            “Huh?!” Sasuke touches his forehead and feels something gooey on his skin. He pulls it back to inspect his fingers, but without seeing the brown smear and that grain of last night’s rice, his nose can already tell him he got the poopy on him. “Gah!” he screams aloud.
            “Doesn’t your brother chew his food?”
ccc Meanwhile, a few minutes later ccc
            “Brother, how could you!” Sasuke whines as he runs into the house to confront his brother, still streaked with caca. Itachi turns and looks confused at his brother’s whiney-ness.
            “Did I do something?”
            “You got your poop on my head!”
            “Oh!” Itachi smiles warmly in his contrition. “Sorry, Sasuke. You know how busy I can be. Sometimes, I can’t wipe properly and it gets on my fingers and I don’t wash my hands. I’m a ninja, you know.”
            Sasuke seems unconvinced, but he blushes because his brother truly seems sorry. “Well… I guess so.”
            “Here.” Itachi takes a rag from his pocket, wipes the poop smear clean, and then returns it to his pocket for when he needs to sneeze… or offer a brave knight a favor. “There, all better. Now you get the fuck out there and show everyone there’s no poop on you outside the bathroom!” He taps Sasuke’s forehead again.
            “Alright!” Sasuke disappears out the door, and runs back in ten minutes later, squealing. “You did it again!” A bigger smear this time; more mass than just a surface sweep.
            “Sorry,” Itachi says in his sincere way again, bringing out his poop rag again. “I guess I just have stinky fingers today.” He dabs the brown, but just winds up spreading it until it looks like Rafiki christened Simba with monkey poo. “I guess that didn’t work.”
            Fuming, Sasuke storms off to wash his face. For the rest of the day, he avoids Itachi and his smelly fingers. He went to bed and fell asleep. But his sleep becomes filled with poopy images and nightmares! He writhes in bed until he comes up with a start. He takes a deep breath through the nose to steady his nerves, but a horrible stench fills him instead. Horrified, he touches his upper lip and…
            “AHHH!! MOM!!!” Sasuke runs through the house until he finds his mom in the kitchen where all women should be. She doesn’t turn from her task to nurture her bastard. “Mom! It’s Itachi! He keeps wiping poo on me! He said it was an accident, but I woke up and I have doodie on my lip!”
            “Now, now, Sasuke. I can’t be bothered with that. I have to remain as redundant as possible, yet still get a high volume of requests for me in pairings with Naruto to try to get back at the overwhelming amount of you/Kushina fics out there! Besides, I’m sure he’s not doing it on purpose and stuff.”
            Sasuke looks to the threshold of the kitchen, and there’s Itachi, with a beastly glower he has no right wearing while his left hand shuffles vigorously down the back of his trousers, scrounging up another smelly, sticky bounty to plant on Sasuke.
            “He’s doing it right now!” Sasuke complains, but Mikoto is already getting prepared for ‘The Fall of the Uchiha’ to be dropped and deleted because fuck those long, plot-focused stories that drew me away from all my other smuts!
            Sasuke did his best to avoid Itachi, but in the dead of night, feeling that the coast was clear, he rushes home. “Itachi must have finished all bowel movements and already took a bath,” he reasons. “No way can he have more doodie on his finger!”
            But lo, a smell comes to Sasuke that makes him stop and retch in place. Peering forward, he sees all his clansmen strewn across the streets, all with some Itachi dookie on them. “Huh? What happened? I’ll go home and look in the back room for answers!”
            He does just that, hesitating at the Japanesey door that befuddles the correct, American way of doors. “Mother? Frankenstein father!” He slides the door open, and sure enough, he sees his Frankenstein-faced father lying dead and smeared on the floor over his mom. “Heavens!” gasps Sasuke, clutching at his chest just before a finger thrusts from the darkness and sticks beneath his nostrils, forcing him to take a good long whiff of the insides of Itachi’s butthole. The fumes overcome him. “Onii-san,” he drones, “porque….?”
            After that night, Sasuke swore to throw shit on Itachi. And after an unsatisfying battle of who-gives-a-crap proportions, Sasuke finally gave a crap… right on Itachi’s corpse’s forehead.
ccc Meanwhile, after the flashback ccc
            Sasuke rummages through his buttcrack, unseen by Sakura. “Sorry, Sakura,” he says, and then brings his fingers forward to her brow. “Maybe next time.”
            Splat.
ccc
Of course, there would never be a ‘next time’. After fucking Sakura to unsatisfaction in the whole of five minutes, Sasuke was dragged unceremoniously from the room to the gallows, where Kotetsu and Izumo sliced open his scrotum, unraveled his testicles, skinned his cock, and hanged him with all his boy bits. Yes, it was a grand day for Konoha indeed… because they also lynched a black person who unwittingly wandered into their midst.
The End
Sadly, I didn’t get to include the Natsu scene, or Thanos from ‘Endgame’. It’s a sad thing to see this amazing series come to a close… but I gots to. I could go for a longwinded Author’s Note to close out the series, but only turdy fanfic writers do that.
ccc Meanwhile… one final time… ccc
            Drip-drip-drip says the water dripping in the cave. Slowly, a grotesque silhouette walks out; a monster of mad science and pedophilia. Boruto dangles in the front, alive… yet no longer living. He is naked, and accepts the wiener that had been surgically installed in his rectum. Konohamaru, owner of the butt-installed wiener, is now grafted onto Boruto’s heiny. He turns and shakes Orochimaru’s hand for a job well done. “And you say, when he grows pubic hairs, he’ll peel off and die?”
            “Yes, kukuku,” chortles Orochimaru. “All of Konoha will welcome you back. Just as they welcome all pedophiles.”
            Another figure steps forward, and it is Joe Biden. “Well, that sounds buy a man eat fish to me.”
            A CNN reporter runs up to Biden for a scoop. “President Biden, what about that little girl you sniffed and touched?”
            “That was four days ago, five days ago,” Biden refutes irritably. “I’ve touched and sniffed plenty more since then!”
            “No, we just wanted to know… after touching her, what kind of ice cream did you get?”
            “Chocolate chocolate chip.”
            AMERICA!! FUCK YEAH!!
ccc
- 13
- 14
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Naruto Shit-On-You-Then: The Curse Evolves