Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Broke Straight Guys	By : KaraMayonakaSora Category: Naruto AU/AR > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1282 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I'm not Kishimoto. And I don't make any money off of this either, for that matter.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
Broke Straight Guys

I'M BACK, MOFOS!

Carousel: A good guess. But you'll still have to wait to see if you're right or not.

emochickenbutt: Sasuke and Naruto doing a vid together, huh. Well, maybe... Of course, there is still Sasori...

Prism0647: Glad you're enjoying it.

qwerty: Seems that the ex will be showing up, due to popular demand. Just not in this chapter.

Lil_lo: Not as much action this time around, but I figure there's enough to satisfy you. Bee's relationship with his family is something I have a feeling will be tackled again later, but at least not before... Well, you'll see. Unfortunately, no Tenten this time around, but a good dose of Sasori!

volaju66: Yep, I'm almost dead certain I'm the only KiraGaa writer at the moment. Can you really expect anything else, though? It really is an uber crack pairing. The KiraGaa updates seem to upset some of the NaruGaa fans on ffnet, but they've exercised fantastic patience so far. I've only had one person outright declare they were quitting the story because they couldn't stand the KiraGaa. So, I guess I'm glad people are accepting it thus far.

goodbyeperson: And the end tying commences... now.

I love all you guys. Seriously. I do.

0o0

1:1

0o0

Waking up in a cold sweat, the blackness of the room engulfed everything into insignificance. The nightly paranoia had returned. Shadows twisted into monstrous shapes on the yellow walls, shifting and morphing as they strained to get out, confined in the limits of the paint. Cityscape sounds he would've found typical drifted into a wretched diminished key that fueled the spirits of the dark monsters that flickered so gracefully across the empty walls. No radios to drown them out. No mp3 players to clutch tight and playing soothing ocean sounds on and feel better. Air was getting shorter and he began to wheeze quietly, eyes flicking back and forth over the wretches. They were the least of his worries, he realized. Some thugs could burst into the apartment without a warning, find him cowering in these sheets and murder him here. Cold glittering steel plunging into his belly, making his hands warm with blood as he tried to hold in his guts until death felt merciful enough to take him into its embrace. He could feel each phantom strike even though there was no assailant present to deliver them. Oxygen deprivation began to set in, though he gasped deeper, faster. Drowning on land. Heart thumping like a rabbit on the run from a determined hawk, he submersed himself in the covers.

In his panic, he somehow managed to find something good in it all. Laying there was a warm, sculpted hunk of flesh. An arm, powerfully defined even in this state of rest. Attached to it was a broad chest dusted with a coating of dark hair that moved slowly with the breath that inflated the lungs hidden under skin and bone. Dried sweat, ejaculate, and a heady musk filled his nostrils in a soothing concoction that beat even the finest, most expensive of lavender oils. Huddling close to the statuesque figure, Gaara managed to catch his breath against the ochre flesh. Shaking as he recovered in the kindly warmth of the body, he pressed his ear to a pectoral and let the pulsing beat consume his fears in its steady assurance.

Careful, so as not to wake his lover, he lifted the thick arm and placed it around his waist. The hand shifted, drifting slightly up his back. Billing it as a reflex, Gaara pressed closer to his boyfriend. Killerbee caressed his hair and Gaara started, surprised. Hadn't he been quiet enough? Dark eyes twinkling, Killerbee brought him closer and whispered something in sleepy Farsi. Realizing his attempt at comfort was somewhat flawed by the language barrier, he tried again.

"I'm here."

And that was all Gaara needed to hear for his heart to even out and sleep to come once more.

I0I0I0I0I

The call was unexpected. Most things that happened at three in the morning were. 'Our house/ In the middle of our street' repeated ad nauseum from the little phone until he managed to gather the energy necessary to bring his hand around the smooth black plastic and gaze at the caller's number. Another unknown number. Too tired to be annoyed at the shock tactics of the thugs, he cast a short glance to Tenten, who was sleeping beside him contentedly, and answered the call.

"What," Naruto grunted flatly.

"So, uh… How goes the money-gathering? Saving up the paychecks? I know you've been doing it."

"What do you want? Can this not wait until later?" Since they were calling, he figured he might as well ask, "Can I talk to Haku?"

"Listen pal. You've got friends in high places. I respect that. I wouldn't have taken this gig if I had known you had affiliations with 'certain folks'." Conversation pausing briefly, as if the speaker was looking over his shoulder for some monster of the night, it started up again a few awkward seconds later. "I don't want any trouble, okay? I was getting a pretty penny for scooping this chick. Would you call 'em off, please?"

While he wasn't entirely sure what was going on, Naruto figured he might as well play along with it. Sasuke's favor must've kicked in. "As soon as I see Haku, you're set."

"Man, your guys took her. Call them up. They could drop her at your doorstep with a bow on top." The man's voice began to shake. "She's free. She's not hurt. I swear."

The whole situation seemed dangerously close to being too good to be true. "If this is a trick—"

"Not a trick, I swear! You gotta do me a favor. I capped one of your guys when they busted in all of a sudden. I mean, what's a guy supposed to do when people come in and start bustin' up shit? You gotta take some action! I need protection, bad. I know you know that these guys are some vicious motherfuckers. I don't want to end up six under." Voice wavering again, the man quickly steeled himself as he prepared to abort this call as soon as he was finished talking. "Look, take that money you've been saving up and buy your girl a real nice necklace or wine or some fancy shit like that. I don't want it, I don't care about it. Just call the guys off, okay?"

"Fine."

As Naruto hit the end call button, a doorbell rang five miles away. Frantic knocking awakened Sasuke from his slumber. Was getting a good sleep even possible anymore? Twelve days after Halloween and without fail, he was getting a rude awakening. Each night seemed to have a different reason as to why, from having to get up to puke himself half to death after a rough night to a simple inability to stay asleep for more than an hour at a time. He had invited himself into Gaara's house in hopes of having someone to burden his sleeplessness with, but the bastard hadn't even bothered to come home as far as he could tell. Probably at Killerbee's place again. They had to be boning by now. He wasn't even gay, but he'd seen the way they'd been practically fucking each other with their eyes when they were out and about after the Broke Straight Guys party. He wasn't stupid enough to think they were still keeping it chaste. Only Naruto was, he snorted as he reluctantly shuffled to the door.

There was a limit to naiveté and he had long since gone into the willful ignorance territory. He just didn't want to have to deal with the thoughts of being compared to Killerbee in the sack. Stereotyping was bad and all, but the guy was obviously hung like a donkey. Even if Gaara got a sex change and turned out to be a super hot chick, Sasuke wouldn't touch something a black guy had fucked. There was simply no competition, unless he was prepared to bust out his A-game from the start. And he couldn't always have a perfect fuck. Every once in a while, one needed a quick and dirty round or to try out a potential kink and Sasuke just knew that Killerbee was probably some ridiculously courteous lover and didn't push Gaara past his limits and everything was butterflies and rainbows when they got it on. No wonder Naruto tried to ignore it.

Well, there was that other thing, but that was something Sasuke intended to confront him about another time.

Reluctantly he shuffled to the door and answered it. Something heavy collided with him and he struggled to support it, fumbling with it like it was a heavy sack of potatoes. What sort of shenanigans was this? He looked down and saw red.

Lifting his head with a massive exertion of effort, Sasori cracked a wry smile. "Hey gorgeous. If I die here, I'd be the happiest man in the world. Is Gaara home?"

"What are you doing? Get up, jackass. You've got two working legs."

"Not feeling so hot right now, darlin'. Can I lay down?"

A bedraggled, frightened looking woman and an extremely annoyed man in a long black coat stood on the doorstep behind Sasori. The woman stared at him in unadulterated, wide eyed fear before shoving something into the hands of the man and fleeing the scene without a word. Further adding disorientation to the situation, the man sighed as he looked at Sasori before saying, "He got shot. Can we borrow a band-aid?"

"He what?"

Sasori grimaced apologetically. "Sorry to bother ya. We'll be gone in a jiffy."

Sasuke hauled Sasori into the living room and kicked a pillow from the couch onto the floor and spread out a throw blanket while trying to keep the mobster upright. Trying to remember where the landline was at, Sasuke jerked his head in the general direction and said, "Hey, you. Go get the phone."

Carefully, Sasuke laid down Sasori. The thug was clutching his lower abdomen, face screwed up in agony. The man in the long coat chucked the phone at him and harrumphed, folding his arms before taking his place at the kitchen table. Kabuto answered the phone on the first ring and Sasuke commanded him to drive here at mach speed and discarded the phone. He placed his hands atop Sasori's shaking fingers and pressed hard against the covered wound. Tears rolled out of Sasori's eyes and his breathing hitched.

"Nnng, fucking Christ!" he moaned, barely biting back a scream. "Oh fucking Hell!"

"Stop crying," Sasuke said gruffly as more tears made tracks down Sasori's face. "You're a man.

"Can't help it." Sasori winced and smiled for a short second. "You're hot when you're mad."

"Letting some guy die on my watch is bad for my reputation. I've got a career to build, after all." Sasuke turned his head and glowered at the man in black. "Who are you?"

"Tch." A snub, followed by the flick of a long ponytail.

"Dei, baby, please. Can you postpone your grudge right now? I'm kinda dying…" Sasori pleaded, quickly whispering to Sasuke, "My ex."

"You always had a fucked up taste in men. I don't see the appeal. Nothing is cute about him whatsoever!" Deidara growled, slamming his fist on the table. "What didn't you like about our arrangement? It should have been perfect!"

"Deidara, you spiteful motherfucker, I just got fucking shot and you're concerned about me ending things with you? It wasn't perfect because I can't stand the constant breaking up and making up. We're not teenagers anymore. I don't want to be that weird older guy hitting up the clubs for someone to screw because you've kicked me out yet again." Sasori spoke hurried and quietly, trying his best to not aggravate his wounds. "Look. I want to meet someone I can settle down with and adopt some kids with, maybe. You're not that guy. You don't know what it means to be dedicated. Every time things might get rough, you boot me out until you feel better. I thought maybe you would mellow out, but you haven't. You're immature. I'm sick of waiting for you to grow up."

"Fuck you, Sasori! I hope you go to hell!"

"I probably will. Now, if you're done being angry with me, I'd like to ask you to get your fucking priorities straight! I just got shot. I am bleeding through a hole in my gut, in case you hadn't noticed!"

"You've been shot before, you bitch! You were just fine!"

"I got shot in the arm. And that was before I had a record. If I go into the hospital, I'm going to end up trying to not be someone's prison bitch because the police got me on some technicality. You know how many times that's happened?"

"Fuck you, Sasori. You deserve to be in prison. You think you're so great. Why don't you see how big you are when some closet fag is fucking your pathetic asshole raw in the shower?"

"Are you fucking retarded? Give a damn that he's in bad shape! Even I'm not that big a dick!" If memory served him correct, Kabuto lived less than ten blocks away. "You need to get a backup plan in case the guy I called can't fix him."

"We were together for five years! A slut like you couldn't possibly understand—"

"I don't give two shits right now. This guy that you supposedly loved for five years might not make to dawn and you aren't interested in helping him? Shut the hell up and think of a backup plan."

Sasori smiled weakly. "My hero. If I start to fade, will you kiss me? I want to feel your sweet lips at least one more time before I go."

"One, you're not going to die. Two, I don't kiss corpses."

"Fading, not dead."

"Just shut up. There's a doctor on his way."

"Your eyes are so beautiful. Did I ever tell you that? Grey, like thunderclouds. I love the rain. I hope it rains on the day of my funeral."

"Stop being stupid and focus on not dying."

Kabuto stormed in the open front door and surveyed the situation before setting to work. There was nothing else Sasuke could do at this point. In the chaos, he quietly shut the front door and watched his first ever live surgery.

I0I0I0I0I

When Gaara woke up for a second time that day, the bed was empty. Scratching his belly lazily, he slid out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom. When the door opened, a wall of steam passed through him and he stepped into the heat. Killerbee stood in the shower, obscured by the curtain, humming some song Gaara didn't recognize. Gaara disregarded his boyfriend's presence to take a piss that seemed to last for hours, feeling warm and sluggish in the humid bathroom. Shaking off neatly, he had to quickly remind himself to not flush lest he wanted to send his lover to the emergency room with water burns first thing in the morning. Feeling particularly sultry—if not tired—he drew aside the lime green curtains and invited himself into the shower.

"What brings you around these parts, stranger?" Killerbee set down his soap.

Thick suds dripped down Killerbee's toned chest and Gaara was unable to resist scooping up a handful and pressed his hand to his breastbone for a fleeting second before sensually dragging it down his belly as hot water pelted his back. Playfully looking Killerbee in the face, he quipped, "Dirty boys need to get clean."

Rising to the occasion, Killerbee murmured, "Tease."

"What can I say? You've got an effect on me." Gaara shrugged coyly, letting the artificial rain bathe his scalp until the springy curls were soon saturated, sticking to the back of his neck in gingery clumps.

Killerbee was transfixed by the darkened strands and nearly lost himself staring in admiration. "Did you need something?"

"Well, I suppose you could be of assistance to me." Gaara sighed as if disbelieving he was going to ask this favor. "I'm a bit sore from something I did last night and I was hoping to find a big, strong, dorky man to help me clean up."

"I do believe I'm qualified for this position. When do I start?"

"Right about… now."

Killerbee considered the sport soap he had previously been using, but decided upon the clove-mint body wash that sat ignored for the most part in his shower rack—Kareema had left it on one of her rare overnight visits and he hadn't given it a second thought about it until now. Squeezing out a half dollar of the wash, the air was laced with a mixture of a spicy and sweet aroma and he worked it into the beginnings of a lather. Shock ran through Gaara's nerves as the cold wash met the sensitive skin of his inner thighs. Changing positions, he braced his back against the wall of the shower and spread his legs further apart as Killerbee cleaned him thoroughly.

Broad fingertip pads curved around his hips before spreading the cheeks of his ass and stroking down the crack. Gaara's hand shot out to the ledge where the sport soap was resting, sending it toppling to the floor of the shower with a splashing thud. While he was recovering from that, Killerbee grabbed more wash and spread it down the crevice. Shivering, he watched Killerbee pool a small amount of water in his cupped palms. Careful to not let any spill, the biologist reached back around Gaara and poured it between his two cheeks, then began to scrub the wash with determination. His short nails scraped at the darkened flesh around Gaara's hole, making a bounty of suds that made his cheeks slippery. He didn't have to look down to know Gaara's prick was standing at attention.

"How's this for cleaning?"

"And you say I'm the tease…"

Gaara moaned as Killerbee dipped his finger into his asshole and swirled it around. His dick jumped and spat precum as the other man began to thrust in and out of him with his digit, cleaning him inside as he had outside. The warmth of the clove made his hole swell and throb and the coolness of the mint had him contracting around the finger, refusing to let it leave before he was finished being pleasured.

"This is hardly fair, you know. I never got finished cleaning myself."

Catching the hint, Gaara fumbled for the body wash and gathered some of it before running his fingers through the dense bush of his lover's pubic hair. The coarse curls grew white under layers of suds and he wasn't satisfied with his efforts until the hairs were dripping soft foam. Empowered by this minor conquest, Gaara slicked his hands up Killerbee's beastly cock and the man shuddered.

"Naughty boy," he growled good-naturedly.

"Make me behave."

"I'll be doing that soon enough if we don't stop." Killerbee broke into a wide smile, retracting his finger from Gaara's ass and slapping it lightly. "Get out of here before I do something I won't regret."

"You sure you don't want some help with this problem of yours?" Gaara rubbed his thumb up the length of the thick vein on the underside of his boyfriend's dick.

"Stop it, you. Go make yourself something to eat."

Resigning himself to having to think about something to cool himself down, Gaara stepped out and toweled off, wondering what Killerbee had in the kitchen. In the end, he made a pot of oatmeal and scrambled eggs with toast and Killerbee came out just in time to eat it while it was still hot. His stupid phone had kept ringing from the bedroom, but he had ignored it and enjoyed breakfast with Killerbee, whose hair was out of its usual braids and gathered in an inconspicuous ponytail.

"It's my rebraiding day," he gave as way of explanation, scooping a conservative amount of food onto his plate. Light breakfasts were the best, in his opinion. "You're free to watch."

"Sounds interesting."

They finished the meal at a leisurely pace and Gaara began to wash the dishes, feeling comfortable despite his nudity. Zetsu was out of town at some botanist's convention and they didn't have a single worry about a soul seeing them. He could see Killerbee observing him from the table in his peripheral vision. He rose up and disappeared for a short while. Gaara worked on a particularly stubborn bit of oatmeal stuck to the rim of the pot. There was something therapeutic in the task, thoughts drifting away until he heard Killerbee's heavy footsteps behind him.

"Thanks for breakfast." Killerbee kissed Gaara's cheek. "I think it could've used some sausage, though."

He pressed flush against Gaara. The hot, erect cock was wedged between the two of them, patiently waiting for action. Gaara made a pleasure noise deep in his throat as the soft crests of Killerbee's lips met his neck. His nipples budded into hard pebbles as Killerbee circled them with his textured fingertips.

"You know, I had a fantasy like this when we first met."

"Really?" Killerbee inquired, bemused and intrigued.

"Yeah." Gaara rested his dripping hands on Killerbee's. "I thought, 'Look at that stud. He's so, so fine. I want him to come over to my house and bend me over the sink, just like this…'"Gaara bowed gracefully, hands gripping the sink's spout for support. "And then, you nearly broke me."

"Well, you know I love making your fantasies come true."

I0I0I0I0I

"Dude, I'm not okay with this. Even if it is an emergency."

Uneasiness tossed in Naruto's stomach. He had promised to bug Gaara less and Sasori was stabilized at the moment, so a phone call really would've sufficed. He hadn't seen hide or hair of the waiter since the party and didn't want to be the bearer of bad news for the first discussion they'd had in twelve days. He even offered to stay home so someone who wasn't that batshit crazy ex-boyfriend of Sasori's was keeping an eye on him.

"Don't care. We need to talk to him about his cousin and his apparent inability to answer a goddamn phone. I called you at the asscrack of dawn to do a medical fetch quest and you answered on the second ring. I call him fifteen times and he doesn't pick up once."

"You don't need me for this. I should be with Sasori to make sure Deidara doesn't kill him."

"I thought that was obvious. You were his first fuck. He'll listen to you."

Naruto jabbed Sasuke in the rib with his elbow as they stood before the apartment door, then knocked. "I was trying to forget about that."

"How can you? Your subconscious has pretty much screwed you on that as hard as you screwed him. Whenever you think of him, that link is always going to be there. How many people can say they took a guy's virginity? Besides, it was your first homoerotic experience. People remember their firsts."

"Please stop talking about this. I don't want to have to deal with this."

"You don't think you should? That was some good stuff."

"What the hell? You watched the video?"

"Shits and giggles, my friend. Saw it last week." Sasuke knocked twice. "Once you got too horny to differentiate between him and any of the other girls you've slept with, you banged the shit out of him. Afterwards, you felt ashamed because society has set standards for acceptable gender play and by having sex with a man, you diminished your masculinity. Doesn't help that society dictates there is something innately wrong with same-sex intercourse and relationships and that they are 'unnatural' and in this aspect, you felt 'unnatural'. The fact that you enjoyed the sex makes it worse because it implies that you are also homosexual and causes further duress still because you deeply believe yourself to be heterosexual—"

"I am heterosexual, dammit! I mean, straight!" Sasuke's pseudo-lectures always left him using words from high school English classes he generally didn't bother using.

"Atop this, your moral compass dictates that you should take care of other people, especially those who you are willing to fornicate with you because they signify potential partners. So in a sense, the only reason you remained in contact with Gaara was because he had submitted himself to you, had given you a piece of himself that could never been given again and you felt obligated to protect and nurture the bearer of this gift like a bird nurtures her young." Sasuke pounded on the door again. "Due to your lens of what 'men' who are 'manly' should look like, Gaara probably looks downright effeminate to you, which made you more willing to take care of him because sometimes your brain could fool itself into thinking that this was okay because this added to your perception of his 'weakness'."

"I don't think Gaara is girly or weak."

Sasuke knocked again, wondering if the two were here at all. "Again, that moral compass says to look after those you perceive as 'weak' and Gaara, being both effeminate—"

"He's not girly!"

"—and submissive to you in sexual activity, fulfilled the role of a woman, which you had been seeking to fill ever since Sakura broke up with you. Your pride grew when opportunities to defend him like when you used to defend Sakura, like when you beat up his ex for him—don't make that face at me. He told me about that ages ago. You could've easily ignored the guy or had a simple verbal dispute. Instead, you made a blatant display of masculinity to impress him."

"It was not to impress him. It was so that douche would leave him alone."

Bored with Naruto's attempts to defend his honor, Sasuke carried on. "The increase in pride was supplemented by the fact that you imagined he had a crush on you, which stoked your ego because the thought of not only completely conquering a man—albeit an effeminate one—in potentially the simultaneously most intimate and degrading way, but doing it so well that he harbored romantic feelings for you afterwards contributed to your alpha male status, which you love to work on. You don't have to go to the gym every other day. You're fit. We get it."

"I hate you more than I can even put into words right now." Naruto directed his anger into a loud shave-and-a-haircut knock.

"While you are glad that he found Killerbee, you can't help but feel as if the mountain you had conquered has now been taken by someone else." Sasuke was starting to feel like they weren't even home. This was getting ridiculous.

"Let me be frank, Sasuke. I really hate you."

"Oh, I'm sure I understand. I'm making you face the fact that you engaged in a homoerotic relationship—relationship doesn't always have to mean you're dating, dumbass—and got your ego so nicely stoked and cultivated and then this other dude comes out of nowhere and steals Gaara, therefore simultaneously stealing your ego satisfaction by diverting all of Gaara's attentions onto him. You knew you were still going to see each other, even if it was going to be less which you were initially okay with. Problem is, it seemed as if he was always with Killerbee, another alpha male who unintentionally was challenging your status. Your quality time together dwindled into nonexistence and you tried to make up for it by clinging to him like a moron and that only made things worse. Now, you're trying to run away and you need to fucking man up and deal with it. Killerbee is going to start fucking Gaara soon, if he hasn't already. You know this is going to emasculate you, so you think that if you stick your head in the sand, things will smooth themselves out and Gaara will come back to stroke your ego."

"Rot in hell, Sasuke."

"When the two of them fuck, Killerbee is going to replace your role as Gaara's guardian. You'll just be 'that one friend' in Gaara's world."

"What are you trying to get at with this psychobabble garbage?"

Sasuke, annoyed that this process was taking so long, kicked the door. "You're jealous."

"What the—Like hell I am!"

"You keep blathering about distancing yourself from Gaara, but you don't really want to."

"Yanno what, Sasuke? You should probably stop rimming ponies because this is the biggest pile of horseshit I've ever seen come out of your mouth. Not once have you mentioned Tenten in all this, which is funny, considering she's my girlfriend. And what's wrong with wanting to have Gaara as a close friend?"

"Tenten is superfluous in this equation. This is simply between you and Gaara and Killerbee, a bit. How long have we been standing here? I'm kicking both their asses for this. And FYI, there's nothing wrong with wanting him to be a close friend. You have a tendency to overdo your friendship, though. Dial it down a notch. There's a reason why you only had two friends through all of high school."

Naruto punched the wall and faced Sasuke with an inferno burning in his eyes. Having old friends was treacherous because of moments like this. They always knew which buttons to push. "Not cool, man. Not cool. You know I hate it when you bring that up."

"The truth hurts." Sasuke kicked the door again. "I'm not trying to hurt your feelings or whatever, but you seriously need to think things over and define some better boundaries between you and him."

"You're a real dick when you do this."

"Not apologizing." Sasuke looked him dead on. "You had sex with a guy who's now your friend. You're having trouble sorting through everything you feel because of it."

"I don't 'feel' anything! I know I slept with him, but I got over it and now I'm trying to live my life and then you bring it up out of the blue! You keep making this out to sound like I have some queer crush on him!"

Sasuke's face was emotionless, a blank slate. "I never said anything about a crush."

"Yes, you did! Now you're going to try to turn this on me—"

"Do you think you might have a crush on him, Naruto?"

"No, dammit! I love Tenten! I am not a faggot!" Naruto felt regret rip through his belly. Using that word now seemed so dirty. Before he'd befriended Gaara, he had thought nothing of it. "I'm going to beat the shit out of you once this is all over with. I don't feel anything for him."

"Nothing at all?" Sasuke snorted. "Not when he gave you that tender little kiss after you two had sex? Or when he was riding your cock and full of your cum? Not for a single second that you had your dick buried in him or were hanging out with him or were beating the hell out of people on his behalf? During all that time, you didn't feel anything?"

"The only thing I ever felt was friendship. And you better never question that again, you sadistic pig."

Finished with the topic for now, the sadistic pig withdrew a key ring from his pocket and began sorting through them. Eventually he came to one marked with the initials KB and inserted it into the lock.

"What's that?"

"Made a copy of his spare key." Sasuke jiggled his wrist. Stupid sticky lock.

"Are all those copies of spares?"

"Basically. One for everyone we know."

Naruto felt himself fuming. "Is that how you got into Gaara's house last night?"

"Yeah."

"I'm going to go downstairs before I kill you."

"Okay."

Naruto stormed away and was halfway down the hall by the time Sasuke opened the door.

"…Wow."

"Wow what, you douche?"

Sasuke didn't say anything else and Naruto's curiosity bested him. He approached the door and froze in his place once he saw what Sasuke had seen.

Killerbee stood tall and proud over Gaara's bowed body, chin tucked close to his chest as her determinedly pounded into him. Heady waves of a musky aroma saturated the air and Gaara burst out a string of demands to increase the pleasure by going faster, pushing harder. Killerbee answered in turn in Persian. His hands were out of view of the unintentional voyeurs, clamped firmly around Gaara's hips to keep him steady. Gaara slaved at the head of the faucet, which groaned serious complaint at the unexpected stress it was currently victim to. Torso rippling and shifting as pain of prolonged stretching and Killerbee's will demanded it, the watchers could scarcely believe he could draw these sounds from his lungs that filled the apartment, pushing both his lungs and the ribcage that contained them to the limit.

Naruto gaped, rooted to the spot. Were those the same faces Gaara had made when they had slept together? Sighing disgustedly at himself, he hated that was the first thing he'd thought. Why had Sasuke insisted on bringing that stupid mess up? Nothing good would come of it.

After overcoming his initial shock, Sasuke decided that he didn't give a damn he was interrupting their session and stomped up to the duo that were so lost in their world they didn't notice him until he opened his mouth and started kvetching. "You! Get your dick out of him now! We're leaving!"

Killerbee almost jumped. "Have you no sense of privacy? I thought I locked that door."

"Sasuke, I will never cook for you again if you don't have a good reason for this." Gaara glowered balefully at the intruder. Could he not enjoy himself without getting thwarted?

Charging through the bush instead of attempting to beat around it haphazardly, Sasuke said, "Your cousin got shot. I called a doctor. He's fine now. For a guy that just got shot, I mean."

"What do you mean he got shot? The last time he was over I made him sign a contract so he couldn't do any of his 'special' work while he was living with me."

"I hired him for a job. Not that it's really your business. Go home and take care of him, he's getting on my nerves."

"It is my business, Sasuke! You probably used the fact that he likes you to get him to do it, didn't you?"

"His asking price was ridiculous. So, yes," Sasuke said without a smidgen of shame. When you wanted something, sometimes you had to use unfair tactics.

"Rot in hell."

"You know, you're the second person to tell me that within the last five minutes. You and Naruto can talk all about how much you want to kill me on the way there. I'm sure I can give you a minute to finish this thing." Sasuke folded his arms expectantly. "Well?"

"Let's go, Bee. I knew I shouldn't have left him alone with this guy."

Killerbee withdrew and leveled his gaze on Sasuke. "You, get out."

"Make sure you answer your phone next time."

"How bad is it?" Gaara asked.

"Missed the vitals, but lost a decent amount of blood. Kabuto put him on strict bed rest." Sasuke didn't really care if Gaara thought he was a monster. Yeah, he felt bad Sasori had gotten shot, but it wasn't like he was surprised. The guy knew the job might be dangerous. It was an occupational hazard as far as Sasuke was concerned.

"Don't ever hire him again, Sasuke."

There was a unanimous decision among three of the four members of the silent car ride to Gaara's house.

At the moment, there was no one they despised more than Sasuke.

I0I0I0I0I

Gaara had never seen his cousin looking this frail. He was pale and still in the guest bed, breathing slow and even under the sheets. The mysterious doctor seemed to have hooked him up to an IV drip and there were several vials of pills sitting on the nightstand. He was almost afraid to speak up. What if Sasori never woke up? He never wanted to go to another funeral. It had been eleven years since the last one, but that was still too soon. He didn't even know the guy, a cousin of his dad he'd never met, but that didn't matter. Everything was incomparably dark and dreary at funerals. Standing there had made him feel like he was suffocating. That for someone who was a virtual stranger. If Sasori died, he'd be a complete wreck.

"Are you alright, Sasori?"

Sasori peeked out one eye. "Is Sasuke with you?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Stop texting me." Sasuke pocketed his cellphone after deleting yet another text from the mobster.

Deidara huffed when he saw the anthropologist. "Oh goody. Here to rub how much my boyfriend likes you in my face?"

"This is too much concentrated hate directed at me. Screw you guys, I'm going home."

"I'm still beating the shit out of you later," Naruto grumbled under his breath.

"You beat him, the first thing I'm going to do when I get better is hunt you down and shoot you like a dog." Sasori jerked his head towards the sheets. "C'mere, Uchiha. You can lay in bed with me. I won't let anyone badmouth you."

"I don't want Sasuke in my house."

Sasori perked his eyebrow. "What the hell did you do to piss him off this much?"

"Mostly me hiring you. Also, I walked in on him getting fucked six ways to Sunday."

"No." Sasori grinned. "No way."

"Had him bent right over the kitchen sink. You should've heard the things coming out of his mouth."

"Nice!" Sasori gave a short laugh, wincing as the pain in his side flared up. "Don't let me keep you from your man. I know you've got to be fulfilled. Once you catch that jungle fever, it keeps on burnin'!"

"You two are terrible." Gaara blushed angrily. "You deserve each other."

"That's so sweet of you to say. I think that too." He turned to his ex and asked, "Could you make me something to eat? And bring me some water too. I need it to take these pills with."

"I'll do it, Sasori. All of you get out. I don't want you in my house right now. Bee, you can stay if you want. The rest of you need to leave, especially Sasuke."

"Sasuke saved my life, 'cuz. Without him, Doc K wouldn't fixed me up. Lay off him, alright?"

"Sasuke is why you got shot in the first place." Gaara glared at Deidara, who was still lingering by the bedside. "Didn't I tell you to get out? I can get his food and water for him."

"Whatever."

The room was empty save for the cousins and Gaara sat on the bed next to Sasori. "You have to stop this. I hate your job."

"I'll have you know that clock making is a noble art—"

"You know what I mean. Those who live by the sword die by the sword. You keep running around doing this crap without thinking of how me or your dad will feel when you turn up murdered."

"A guy takes a hit once in a while. Life sucks that way. No biggie."

"Yes, biggie! As much as I hate to admit it, you're my cousin and I care about you!"

"Shouldn't this be a lecture better suited for Kankuro, with all that Army crap he's embroiled in?"

"Kankuro doesn't break into warehouses with guns blazing!"

"You never know. I always thought he'd be good secret agent material. Give him a number, take away his name…"

"Sasori, I'm filleting my heart here. No more dangerous stuff."

"Gaara, you dear, sweet naïve child. That's not how it works. Once you're in, you don't leave until you're being carried to the morgue. I can't promise anything." Sasori closed his eyes. "Why is this so important?"

"When I graduated, I had a falling out with everyone. Dad, Temari, Kankuro… I'm scared to talk to them, Sasori. Temari always distanced herself from us and Kankuro only seems like he tolerates me because I'm keeping an eye on the house and I haven't talked to Dad in two years. You're all I've got."

"Do you even listen to your thoughts before you say them? No, that's a stupid question. You're going to have Thanksgiving with them and that is final. Try to patch things up." Sasori frowned at Gaara. "Look, I know it's hard. Doubly so for you because you dated girls seriously. You just have to remind them that you're here, you're queer, and you'd like to say hello because it's not going away. Your dad is a good guy and yeah, it put a strain on your relationship with him, but that doesn't really justify not talking to him for two years—Christ, you know how to hold a grudge. You don't have to have a heart to heart conversation with him."

"Wasn't planning on it. Here's how I came out: 'Dad, I'm gay.' 'Oh.' 'Yeah.' 'Are you sure?' 'Yeah.' 'Well, let me know if you change your mind.' He went right back to reading his stupid newspaper." The mere memory made him want to smash something. He didn't want his dad to explode or kick him out. He just wanted some sign that he cared one way or the other.

"You can't blame him. He's old school. You're lucky he didn't disown you on the spot."

"I think he was angrier at me breaking up with Matsuri than me coming out. I don't even know why he liked her so much. I guess he tried to understand. He would call and ask how I was doing and if I was still gay or not." The calls had frustrated him to the point where he finally cut all contact and settled for a cordial card during the holidays. "I guess I've punished them enough for my stupidity. I don't really want to go, but I suppose I have to."

"You'd do your mother proud, kiddo."

"Thanks for listening. Do you have your phone on you?"

Sasori pointed to the nightstand. "Letting them know?"

"Rewarding you as long as you promise to try to get out of the more dangerous assignments." Gaara went to the internet and typed in an address. "Here."

Sasori scrolled down the page and his grin stretched from ear to ear. "Love ya, cuz. You're my favorite. You really are. I'm so texting him this link. He's going to be so pissed."

On the screen was Sasuke's recent escapade with Neji, the younger man unconscious from the intensity of the session and Sasuke rutting away without a care in the world. Gaara could see the look on Sasuke's face already. A small victory, but it was enough to at least get back at him for interrupting him and Killerbee. The cousins shared a smile.

I0I0I0I0I

Laying in bed that night, Gaara thought of what he'd promised to do earlier and nudged his boyfriend. Should he get Killerbee roped into this? He had no idea what the other man had planned or if he even celebrated Thanksgiving. They were together, so he supposed it shouldn't matter. Moral support would be nice to have.

"Yes, Gaara?"

"I was thinking of visiting my family for Thanksgiving. Did you want to come with me?"

"I would be honored, inshallah."

"You and your fancy little words. My multilingual lover."

"If God wills it."

"Inshallah." Gaara let the word curve around his mouth, sampling it at every angle. "Forget God, I'm the one who's willing it. Insh-Gaara."

Killerbee laughed and kissed Gaara's fingertips. "Silly boy."

"Hey Bee?"

"Yes?"

"Could you teach me? How to speak another language, I mean."

"Well, I'm best in Farsi, so… If you don't mind that, I don't see why not. I'll get you started with the alphabet tomorrow." Killerbee brushed Gaara's hair out of his eyes.

"How do you say I love you?"

"Asheghetam."

Gaara broke it down carefully. "Asheghetam, Bee."

Twelve days until Thanksgiving. Gaara yawned and turned on the baby monitor that he'd bought earlier in case Sasori needed help. Twelve days for him to figure out what he wanted to say when he saw his dad. He felt optimistic about the outcome. And if nothing else, he had Killerbee and his friends to make him feel better. Speaking of which, he wondered why Naruto was so mad at Sasuke earlier. Sasuke had apparently sent Sasori a picture of himself with a black eye, which meant Naruto had followed through on his promise. It had taken all his strength to keep Sasori in bed after he'd gotten that. Whatever Sasuke had done, it must've been serious. Fine by him.

He was thinking of inviting him to dinner at his restaurant anyway. They could talk all about it then.

0o0

Oh god. I just saw Shippuden 194. It's official: the writing staff is full of SasuNaruSasu fangirls/boys. No seriously, you know how many times I've seen 'that' fanfic? And now it's canon, Christ. *facepalm* Why must you torture us, Kishi? Why can't Gaara and Naruto have an accidental kiss? Hell, he's already had two with Sasuke. It's only a step up from the practical declarations of love he's been spouting lately. Why not go the full mile and go for an on purpose one? Gaara could be the first canonly gay char in the series. This train is getting derailed anyway. Transsexual armadillos, plots involving the moon, furry!Naruto, kitty ears, and Konan being too badass for the series. Oy vey.

Anyway, I hope you all have been well and all that good stuff. Thanks for reading, as always. (Wow, I totally missed out on my 6th fanfiction anniversary. It feels like I just had the 5th one a couple months ago.)

Until next time…

~YamiTenshi~
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