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Hidden Heartache	By : shiinechan Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2057 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
Disclaimer: Naruto
doesn�t belong to me and I will be making no money from this story. This is
simply a work of fiction by a fan.
Pairings: SasuNaru, one-sided GaaraNaruto, plus others
Warnings: Yaoi, angst, mpreg OOC, language, Naruto�s POV
Thanks to everyone
who reviewed because of all your encouragement I�ve decided to finish the
story. A lot has happened in the last year and I had to go back and reread the
story and go through my notes to figure out where I intended the story to go. I
will try to post the next chapter within two weeks. I hope everyone enjoys this
chapter.�

Hidden Heartache
Chapter 14

Back to Naruto�s POV

�Naruto,� a familiar voice called
out, but whose voice was it? My body continued to drift as the voice kept
rising, becoming impossible to ignore.� I
tried to block it out, but the incessant sound would not stop. I wanted to
confront the speaker pulling me from this perfect peace, but my body wouldn�t
move. Suddenly, I needed to wake up to prove that I could. The voice anchored
my mind, I focused on it and forced my eyes open and came face to face with Kyuubi.

Immediately my body reacted, tensing as I focused on the
fox. �Why are you here?� I asked.

�Look closer brat. You�re in front of my cage,� Kyuubi said.

My head turned away from the fox as I took in the
surroundings, �I don�t understand. How did I get here?�

�Why must you ask stupid questions? None of that matters.
It�s time for you to wake up.�

�Wake up.� I repeated trying to understand the meaning
behind the fox�s words. Images formed and then the pain. My last conscience memory
replayed and the panic started. I forced the words out, �Is my baby alright?�

�Despite the damage done to your body, I kept the baby alive
until it was delivered. It was fully developed and strong enough to survive.�
The tension started to leave my body. But before I could fully calm myself, Kyuubi�s question forced my attention back. �Do you intend
to remain here forever?� I stared at the fox. �We�re too vulnerable like this.
Your body is healing, so wake up and take care of your baby.�

The nine-tailed demon�s aura flared. The fox was agitated by
my unconsciousness perhaps even worried. �Fine,� I said smiling. Kyuubi cared and it meant a lot. Besides I wanted to see my
child, but one thing needed to be said. Before completely fading away the words
came out, �Oh and this is the only time I will ever say this and I know you
didn�t do it for me, but thanks.� I loved the idea of being a parent; the fox made
it possible and for the first time showed actual concern.

�Don�t get chocked up over your gratitude,� Kyuubi said before starting to laugh.

It was definitely a mistake giving the stupid fox a complement.
The demon�s already inflated ego had a hard time fitting in the cage and if it
got any bigger it would burst out. This time I didn�t look back before speaking
again. �Go to hell,� I said drifting away from the prison bars and the loud
obnoxious laughter.

The sun shone through the window. It took a moment for my
eyes to focus. I recognized the room from the temple. The position and
brightness of the light indicated it was mid afternoon. I turned my head away
from the light. Everything hurt including my throat. I open my mouth to call
out but the dry itchy feeling prevented any recognizable sounds from escape my
lips. �

�Welcome back to the world of the living, Naruto,� Kakashi said, but it
couldn�t be possible. Kakashi didn�t know where to
find me. Slowly, I turned towards the voice and gasped. I tried to sit up. This
had to be a joke or a hallucination. There�s no way Kakashi
could be here. �Calm down,� he ordered helping me sit up before offering water.

�What�s going on?� I asked trying to make sense of the
situation. Questions started to form in my head: how long was I out, what
happened during that time, how did Kakashi find me
and did anyone else know. But one question needed to be asked. �The baby. Where�s my baby?� In a frantic haste, I looked around
for any signs of a baby. A bottle rested on a nearby table next to folded
blankets while a stuffed red fox sat on the bookcase.

�The baby�s fine. I will call the others in,� he said and
stood to leave.

The others, I thought. What did he mean by that? Perhaps Gaara and Shikamaru?
He said the baby was fine and I believed him, and Kyuubi also indicated the same thing, but I wouldn�t be
completely relaxed until I held my child. The whispering voices behind the door
drew my mind back to reality. The voices sounded familiar and one sounded like Sasuke but it couldn�t be possible. Perhaps I wanted to
hear his voice. Kakashi walked back in and my heart
nearly stopped beating because behind him stood Sakura and Sasuke.
How was this possible? Sasuke was here and holding my
child. Well, technically our child, but it wasn�t fair. I wanted to be the
first one to hold the baby. I wanted to scream. Inside I started to panic. What
happened while I was out?

�Here let�s get you into a better position so you can hold
the baby,� Kakashi said as he helped me to sit up
with my back leaning against the headboard. Sakura walked over, and held a
bright pen light up to my eyes, and listened to my pulse. I ignored Kakashi and Sakura and focused only on Sasuke
holding my child. Sakura started to lift my shirt up. I pushed her hand away.
�What are you doing?� I asked.

�Naruto I need to check the
stitches, so behave yourself and then you can hold your son,� she said.

�It�s a boy. Is he ok?� I asked.

Sakura pushed the blanket down to cover my lower region as
she lifted up the shirt to look at the stitches. That�s when I noticed the
shirt was all I wore. What happened to boxers or pants? �Sakura poked at the area. The stitches looked
fresh. Kyuubi hadn�t started to heal the wound. �The
baby is small but healthy. You�re much worse off,� she said.

I looked at Sasuke again. His gaze
never left me. He watched my reaction and body language. He continued to stare.
Did he know? I asked myself. Sakura started to pull down my shirt. When she
finished pulling up the blanket, I asked, �Can I hold him now?� She would keep
her promise. I behaved during her poking and prodding and now I wanted my baby.

�Yeah just take it easy. The baby just finished eating so he
should be asleep soon. �Well, if you�ll
excuse us, Kakashi and I have something to do� Sakura
said as she averted her eyes from mine and looked up. Sakura sucked at lying. �

�Yes, we�ll be leaving you. Sasuke
will help you with the baby, so don�t try to move or do anything reckless,� Kakashi said before following Sakura out, but not before
sharing a secret look with Sasuke. Something
happened. Something was up. Hopefully, Sasuke didn�t
know he was a father.

I stared at him as he moved closer. The way he held the baby
made him look like a parent and I started to feel guilty. �Do you know how to
hold a baby?� he asked.

�Of course I know how to hold my baby,� I said truthfully. I
spent a couple of days practicing on a doll before it caught fire, and since
then I examined diagrams in books. �You have to be careful and support its
neck.� I said to prove my knowledge, but his scrutiny made me nervous. Even
though I knew what to do, it was still the first time I held a child.

He walked over and slowly lowered the baby into my arms. Amazed
by his skill, I started to speak before realizing what I was saying. �How did
you get so good at holding him?� I asked.

�You�ve been out for three days, so I have practical
experience,� he said.

I was a little sad. I�d missed the first three days of his
life. I looked down at the baby. He was soft and warm. His skin wasn�t as dark
as mine but also not as pale as Sasuke�s. He had a full
head of black hair. His eyes were closed and he moved his mouth. It was only a
matter of time before he fell asleep. �What color are his eyes?� I asked.

�Blue. He has your eyes,� Sasuke
said.

�Oh,� I responded. I held him closer to smell his soft sweet
scent. I smiled and started to cry. I tried to force myself not to. Especially
around Sasuke, but I couldn�t help it. I felt his
eyes on me. �You can leave now,� I said, trying to stop him from staring and to
give me time to compose myself.

�I�m not going anywhere,� he said.

Damn, why did he have to be so stubborn? �Then turn around,�
I ordered. �Your staring is starting to freak me out.�

�Get use to it,� he said.

Normally, I would have screamed at that statement, but
holding my baby calmed me in a way I never experienced before. Besides,
screaming would have scared him and I had this powerful resolve to protect this
small being and always keep him safe. His face looked calm and peaceful. Very
soon, he�d be sleeping. �Was his diaper changed?� I asked.

�Yes after he ate,� Sasuke said. �Did you think of a name
yet?� he asked.

�Did Sasuke know?� I asked myself.
His face betrayed nothing. While I didn�t want him to know and the idea of him
knowing frightened me, I didn�t care at this moment. Only the baby mattered. He
was my son and I�d make sure he got everything he wanted. �Kei,� I said
answering Sasuke�s question.

�Kei,� Sasuke repeated. �The
name�s fine. Naruto we need to talk,� he said.

Normally I�d yell at him. Why did he think I needed his ok
to name my baby? A part of me was scared too. He wanted to talk, but I was so
absorbed with my son that his words didn�t matter. �Ok,� I said.

�Let�s put the baby down,� he said and moved to take him
from me.

I didn�t want him to go. �Where are you going to take him?�
I demanded. The child wasn�t going to leave my side.

�There�s a cradle in front of your bed. I plan to put him in
there so he can sleep. Do you have a problem with that?� he asked but his voice
started to get cold.

I ignored his reaction. �No that�s alright.� I said. As long
as he was in sight, anywhere was fine.

I watched Sasuke�s every move. He
picked up the baby and brought it close to him. He held the child like
something delicate and breakable. He was careful as he walked over to the
baby�s bed and placed him down. I�d never imagined Sasuke
with that expression on his face, so I couldn�t place it, but he looked
breathtaking. He focused all his attention on the baby and never noticed my
staring.

He watched the baby for a moment before turning to look at
me. �We need to talk,� he said and walked over to the bed and sat in the seat Kakashi left empty. His tone was demanding. He wouldn�t be
sidetracked no matter what I did. We would have the conversation he wanted.

I still tried to steer the conversation towards a different
direction. I didn�t want to face the fact that he might know the truth or
suspect I had sex with someone else. By now it was obvious to everyone that Kei
had two fathers. �There�s not much to say. I�m curious how you found me
though,� I said, trying to evade the topic he wanted to discuss. I still hoped
he didn�t remember. I didn�t want to face the consequences of what happened,
but the way he held the baby with complete love and devotion made me uncertain.

He started to get angry. He wouldn�t be sidetracked. �Not
much to say,� he repeated with an icy tone just above a whisper. �Were you ever
going to tell me?� Sasuke asked.

��Tell you what?� I
wasn�t going to give the truth away. Besides there were so many things I
neglected to tell him, so he�d have to be more specific.

I didn�t think it was possible but he started to look even colder.
�That I have a son,� he said.

This time there was no running away from the truth. He knew but
I wouldn�t give in just yet. He�s the one who forgot and he couldn�t pretend he
didn�t. When he woke up from the hospital, he didn�t know what happened, but
when did he realize the truth. Perhaps I had been wrong the whole time and he
never forgot. Maybe he wanted to pretend it never happened. Did the thought
make him sick? For the first time since that day, I didn�t feel guilty but
angry and sad. �I don�t know what you mean,� I said and waited for his
response. �

�Don�t play stupid,� he ordered. �You�re dumb enough as it
is, Dobe.�

As he insulted me my anger escalated. Maybe I did miss read
him. I was so certain he didn�t remember but I could�ve been wrong. Today Sasuke showed me different sides of himself. It was
possible I didn�t know him at all, so I asked with a challenging tone. �You
knew from the beginning that we slept together. Didn�t you?� Maybe this whole
thing was a game to him. Did he want to watch me panic? When he woke up in the
hospital, was he laughing at me? Did I disgust him? What was I to him?

�Not from the very beginning,� he said. �The memories
started to come back and you left evidence like scratches and bite marks. When
you started to act weird, I tried to find a reason for your behavior and then
the memories started to come back.�

My anger continued to rise. �If you knew, why didn�t you say something,� I demanded. I hated being laughed
at and that�s what he must have done.

He looked colder then before. He didn�t raise his voice but
he didn�t have to his tone was enough.� You didn�t
give me a chance. You ran away carrying my child. Did you plan on mentioning
that?� he asked.

What right did he have to be angry? He forgot not me. Maybe
I didn�t handle things right that night, but he forgot everything. I silently
wondered if this anger had always been here and I didn�t notice it. Besides
he�s the one who didn�t want children. In the end, I was doing him a favor. I
wasn�t the only one keeping secrets either. He didn�t tell me he remembered. He
had plenty of opportunities to mention it. �I was never going to tell you,� I
said. I wouldn�t hide the truth now.

He curled his fists up and his body stiffened. �Oh, I see.
And what exactly were your plans?� he asked.

I looked straight at him. He believed that his knowing
changed the situation. I was a missing nin.
When I decided to the leave the village, it was for good. My son would grow up
in a place where no one thought he was different. He wouldn�t have to live up
to the Uchiha bloodline or try to prove he wasn�t
contaminated by a demon. The child came first and making a good home for him
was my priority. �My plans are to travel north with my son and set up a home
far away,� I said.

�Oh that�s brilliant,� he said sarcastically. �You�d have a
great life living on the run with a baby. I�m sure it�s every child�s dream not
having a permanent home and constantly living in danger. Just more proof you
dangerous judgment and impulsive decisions will endanger my child.�

��You
bastard. Don�t you dare judge me. I did the
best I could and made the best decisions possible. You weren�t a factor then or
now,� I said. This is my child. I will decide what�s best for him. I was the
one who wanted him and gave up everything for him. How dare Sasuke
try to take over?

�If leaving home pregnant, while running from hunter ninjas,
an example of your great decision making skills, then you have a lot to learn.
You could have killed yourself and the baby. Perhaps you need to stop putting
your needs before the child�s.�

Now that hurt. I left my home to make sure the baby
survived. Didn�t he see the danger? I started to explain, �Bastard, you don�t��
but he placed a hand over my mouth.

�Not too loud. The baby�s sleeping. Try to control
yourself,� he said and smirked.

What made me think I loved him? �Go to hell,� I said.

�Not yet. But don�t worry, unlike you I realize the child
needs both of us,� he said.

�Oh, so your planning to travel north with us.� I said
defiantly showing nothing changed.

The coldness was disappearing from his eyes. �You�re not
going anywhere except back home,� he said.

I wasn�t ready to give in. Konoha
wasn�t safe. I still remembered the council and their plans. They wanted an Uchiha heir and I�m sure their plans didn�t include me
raising the child. �Wanna bet,� I said.

�I don�t bet, especially, when the outcome is obvious,� he responded.
Did he plan to force me back? I�d be arrested and imprisoned. They�ll take away
my son. �Don�t worry about the consequences for abandoning the village. I�ll
take care of the mess you made,� he said.

�Oh that�s right your perfect and can deal with anything,� I
said but not to be nasty. I was thinking about him taking away my choices and
that made me feel powerless.

�I don�t have to be perfect. Just smart,� he said.

I felt emotionally drained. �I�m tired. Please leave so I
can go to sleep.� I needed time alone to think and maybe take a short nap.

�I�m not leaving. If you want to sleep, then I won�t disturb
you. I�ll just sit here.� He was planning on staying. I started to protest when
his hands touched me. He pushed my hair back and ran his one hand down my check.

�What the hell are you doing?� I demanded. His touch burned.
I still wanted it. I hated my response.

�Try to calm down. I want to help you back down. You�re not
going to sleep sitting up,� he said.

I thought about those hands on other parts of my body and
panicked. �Don�t touch me! I can do it on my own.�

�Don�t be stupid. Kyuubi hasn�t
started to heal the stitches. If you struggle, you�ll only cause more damage.�
I nodded. It wasn�t the time to be stubborn. I needed to heal as fast as
possible.

He pushed the sheet down, exposing my naked legs. I forced
my body not to react. His hands where strong and gentle as he helped me back
down. The oversized shirt started to ride up and expose more of my body. I
don�t know why it bothered me so much. We bathed together and even slept
together and I was embarrassed showing a little skin. I stared at the ceiling.
I hoped he would leave, but from his relaxed position on the chair, he wasn�t
going anywhere. �You don�t have to stay,� I said.

The complete silence irritated me. I started to hum very
softly but he didn�t respond. He just sat there and stared at me. �If you plan
to stay, I can�t stop you but at least stop staring. It�s annoying.�

He didn�t get a chance to respond before Tsunade
opened the door. �How�s the patient? Is Sasuke taking
good care of you� she asked.

Sasuke and I didn�t respond to her
questions verbally. However, we did glare at her and she laughed at us.

�See how much you two have in common. You have identical responses.
Next time you�ll be wearing matching outfits,� she said and smiled, amused by
her own joke. Then her expression turned serious. �Naruto,
you need to think things through and stop being so impulsive. If Shikamaru hadn�t
been here, I hate to think what would have happened to you,� she said.

I don�t know why it came as a surprise. Tsunade
answered one of my earlier questions. It was Shikamaru who told them. �Yes
remind me to thank him later,� I said with my voice full of venom.

�Yes that would be a good ides because without him you and
your son would be dead,� she said.

�Maybe he�s incapable of gratitude,� Sasuke
said, bringing himself back into the conversation.

He did have a point. It must have been hard for Shikamaru to
get help and he did it for me. I had my baby and that�s all that really
mattered. But Sasuke�s comments were irritating, I
could be grateful. �Yeah why don�t you leave and I then I�ll say thanks,� I
responded.

�I�ve given orders that you�re not to be alone, so if Sasuke leaves, Sakura or Kakashi
have to come in and sit with you,� she said.

That�s when I understood. I wasn�t trusted, but in her
defense, if I could leave with the baby, I would do it.� �I�m not going back.� I said. For my whole life,
I faced the stares and hatred of other. My son wouldn�t have to deal with that.
�Kei needs a place where he can be normal.�

Tsunade shook her hear. �He is
part of the Uchiha bloodline. But more importantly, I
care about you. A life always worrying about others finding you is not
something you want. You and your son have a home. It�s not perfect but there
will be a lot of people around who care about you,� she said.

I didn�t believe her. I couldn�t figure out all the people there
for me. I could think of only five. �Could you leave me alone,� I said, hoping
to have time to think things through.

�Fine I�ll be back later to talk to you but Sasuke will stay. I think you two have a lot to talk
about,� she said and turned to leave.

�I don�t want to talk, just sleep,� I said. I was surprised
when he didn�t argue but nodded. He still stared at me but I ignored him and
thought about the future.

AN:� Chapter 15 is almost done but needs to be
edited, but I hope to have it out soon. Chapter 16 is giving me some problems
so it might be awhile until it�s done. While rereading the story, I noticed a
lot of mistakes and will go back an edit the chapters when the story is done.
For everyone who waited over a year for the next chapter, I don�t want to make
you wait any longer for the stories completions. My main writing goal is to
finish the story. Thanks again to all the reviewers.
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Hidden Heartache