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Of Sacrifices and Love - COMPLETE!!!	By : Tsukineko9 Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1562 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
Title: Of Sacrifices and Love

Author: Cecilia Tsukineko and Kirei Kitsue

Rating: NC-17

Genre and Pairing: yaoi, SasuNaru

Notes: For further reference here is a key to help you follow the story:

::this:: is a character's own personal thoughts

*this* is mindspeech

DISCLAIMER: We don't gain anything but amusement from these writings, so please give credit to Kishimoto Masashi-sama for the characters and all things canon!

Chapter Fourteen

----------Hours later, after the sun had set----------
Lost in thought and staring off into space Naruto continued to absentmindedly rub his thumb across the worn spot running along the metal of the hitai-ate in his hand. Sasuke's hitai-ate. He just... hadn't been able to leave it the street that night. And during the months of his depression he always had to take it out of the back corner of the bottom drawer of his dresser to run his thumb along it once, thinking of how things could have been, before he went to sleep. It had sat there untouched for almost two years now, almost forgotten... But tonight he'd gotten the sudden urge to dig it out again... ::Why did things have to be like this...? Why can't I ever have something close to a normal life...?:: Naruto thought sadly.
There wasn't any warning sensation or noise, just arms suddenly sliding around Naruto's middle as the blond sat on the edge of his bed. �I hear you haven't been feeling well lately.� The voice was soft and deep, concerned. The embrace was light and attempting at comfort. The only thing Sasuke didn't say to make his worry clear was "what's wrong?"
�As if you care,� Naruto grumbled back after he'd suppressed his jump of surprise, his anger starting to well up again. A warning would have been nice! His hand clenched tightly around the hitai-ate, causing the metal to dig into his palm, but he didn't care.
�I do care. Now tell me what's wrong...� he demanded. Sakura was too soft. She hadn't told Sasuke to come here, in fact she'd told him to leave Naruto alone for a little while. Everyone seemed to want him to do that... but Sasuke knew that Naruto would open up more if one was a little more adamant.
�You're what's wrong. Let go of me and get the hell out of my apartment,� Naruto shot back coldly, turning his head to glare venomously at Sasuke with cat-pupiled blue eyes.
Sasuke's instincts tickled at his mind a little. Naruto was really peevish tonight. He'd better be careful. Slowly he unwound his arms and scooted back a little towards the middle of the bed and folded his legs. �Can we at least try to talk...?�
Well, Sasuke had half-listened to him. That was better than nothing. But it still wasn't enough. �There's nothing to talk about. Get out before I make you get out.�
Sasuke's temper flared a little. ::Always so stubborn, Naruto... well it isn't like there are as stubborn or more stubborn people in this world. Like me...:: �No. I want to talk this out. I've had enough of you pent up issues and suppressing you feelings - whatever they might be - is no way to live through life. So... either you start talking or I start looking.� ::I won't really but that's my bluff... Although I better think of something fast... Wait a minute... Kyuubi hasn't been growling at me a whole lot lately... what's going on in that body and brain of Naruto's? His eyes are slitted but still... nothing but that from Kyuubi? That's not good...::
No, it wasn't. Furious now at the fact that Sasuke was so set on ruining his life again Naruto slowly stood up and turned to face his former teammate. His eyes flickered crimson, quickly changing back to blue, but the pupils didn't change back to circles. �I've said all I need to say to you,� he said slowly, his voice dangerously quiet and still. �Out. Now. Before I feed you your intestines.�
His instincts were getting a little more "vocal" at the sudden quiet-death in Naruto's voice, but Sasuke persisted anyway, ignoring the chill that raced up his nerves. �You can try. Even if you did manage to disembowel me I'd be fine by morning anyway.� he shrugged a little over it and then demanded. �Now, sit your ass down, stop being such a stupid idiot and let's talk this over.�
Naruto's eyes changed to crimson again and this time stayed that way as they narrowed angrily. The metal plate of the hitai-ate was drawing blood now as his hand tightened. �I said I don't want to talk. And I told you already I don't associate with traitors.� The fingers of his empty hand twitched, itching to use the Rasengan.
Sasuke's temper flared again, this time into full-blown anger, and it squashed his instincts pathetic warnings as if they were only a little bug. �WHAT HAVE I DONE TO ACTUALLY BETRAY THIS VILLAGE!? I went to gain more power to protect this place, my friends and fulfill my oath! No vital information was divulged! I never fought against you! I never even came back until I was done with my private mission!!� he snapped now on his feet but maintaining a little respectful distance between himself and the fox-boy. He might just try and choke Naruto if he stood any closer to him right at the moment with his temper as blazing as it was.
Naruto barked a laugh, short and humorless. And here Sasuke was supposed to be the smart one. �Never fought against me?� he repeated, sarcasm lacing his deadly quiet and still voice. �What about all those times you fought me when I tried to save your sorry ass from yourself? Or the times you tried to kill me? All I wanted was to be your friend and you kept pushing me away... and you never gave me an explanation.� The temperature of the room dropped a few notches with his next words. �I'm not talking about the village... when I call you a traitor...�
Sasuke's eyes narrowed but his temper hadn't yet quite cooled. �I did what I had to do. I would never be able to defeat Itachi as I had been then. Nothing here could have made me strong enough.� His own voice chill, he added, �I'm here to give you the explanation you claim you wanted... refusing my apologies... makes you a liar. You didn't really want it in the first place... if you don't want to hear it... even now.�
Naruto bristled at being called a liar, his hair literally beginning to stand on end. Vaguely he felt his canines and nails growing. He didn't even notice the flicker of chakra in his empty hand that threatened to turn into a Rasengan. �Fine. You've apologized. Now get the hell out.�
�No,� Sasuke said again, every line of his body screaming stubborn, even as every nerve-ending shrieked for him to leave.
Finally Naruto's mask began to crack, letting his temper through. �What do you WANT from me?!� he demanded, his voice cracking as Kyuubi tried to force a growl out of his mouth.
�What I want from you? I want your friendship back... I want your companionship again! I want your forgiveness.... but more than any of that... I want you to love me... the same way I love you!!� Had he really just blurted that out? Oh, well... it wasn't like he could take it back now.
Shock made Naruto stand a little straighter and his eyes widen. Had Sasuke... really... just said that...?! As the words sunk in Naruto felt painfully torn. He wanted so badly to forgive Sasuke and move on, this time with his best friend at his side. But... he was still so afraid of being broken again... Defense responses kicking in Naruto began to glow a faint red and snarled, �Then maybe you shouldn't have thrown it away when you had it.�
�Everybody makes mistakes! Even HOKAGES make mistakes, Naruto! You can't seek perfection in something so abused!� Sasuke snapped back. He meant himself. Yes, he'd been the one abusing himself more than anyone else, but that had started with Itachi. Itachi had helped and none of the leading Ninja had seen fit to prevent anything like this from happening. They'd expected an eight-year-old to be able to deal with trauma like that without much effect. They'd been so wrong and now look where he was. �I was how I was... and I am how I am now! It's hard to change... but I've been TRYING!�
Not able to hold it in any more Naruto finally snapped. He was sick of this!! �GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT and GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!!� he roared, throwing the now blood-splattered hitai-ate at Sasuke and not even noticing as the cut on his hand healed instantly. Somehow through his anger he managed to keep enough control on Kyuubi's chakra that it didn't start tearing into the floor.
Lightning reflexes snatched the hitai-ate out of the air seconds before it came close to his face. Naruto was pissed... and Sasuke was confused. It stung... somewhere in the vicinity of his now quickly beating heart. His heart hadn�t beat like this in two whole years. In fact he hadn�t been sure it beat at all sometimes. But for the moment his instincts were winning over his senses, the smell of the blood on the thing in his hand making them stronger. He was too confused to fight Naruto right now. Like this he'd most certainly lose. So his body moved without him. Sasuke was gone.
----------An Alley Not Too Far Away----------
The dark haired ninja leaned against the wall of a tall apartment building, hidden by layers of shadow and illusions of the mind. He didn't want to be found right now. He was in too much pain. His mind thought through it, but he didn't want to do anything for the next little while. Part of him wailed that Naruto hated him and he was doomed to spend eternity as a lonely hunter until it drove him either mad or into suicide. Meanwhile the more reasoning part of his mind, still oddly functioning, soothed the other half, stating that Naruto was hurting right now too, and his defenses were only showing because he was afraid of being hurt still more. A decision came quickly to him then and he straightened. It took no time for his feet to carry him into the Hokage's office. He rarely teleported any more. His feet were fast enough usually.
Tsunade hid her surprise at Sasuke's sudden appearance by slamming her book shut on her desk. Kakashi had just left from explaining everything to her, and she was glad that Sasuke had shown up rather than her having to send someone out to find him or worse yet having to look herself, but still, he could have used the door like most of her subordinates. �Sasuke.�
�This... it was returned to me, but I'm not certain as to whether I am worthy of wearing it or not....� he said simply and shortly.
Blinking Tsunade thought, ::Well, that was straight up and to the point.:: Then she nodded. �You've proven yourself at least worthy of wearing it once more. You'll still have to pass the exams like every other ninja...� ::But I would be crazy to turn away an asset like you...::
Sasuke nodded, bowed a little and then turned on his heel vanishing once more even as he tied the hitai-ate about his forehead. It was a comforting weight over his brow and he relished the feeling of it being there once more. His senses brought him right before Kakashi, without so much as one conscious thought. �Kakashi-sensei,� he said by way of greeting his voice low and solemn.
�Yo,� Kakashi said with a nod of greeting. He looked lazier than usual, more than ready to go home and sleep. �I see you got your hitai-ate back. Where was it?� he asked curiously. He'd asked Sasuke during the questioning as to why he didn't wear it anymore and the answer had simply been "I'd lost it".
�Tsunade-sama deemed me worthy of wearing it once more.� It wasn't the whole truth but it was still an answer. �Someone at least needs to know where I�ve gone. I trust you so it will be you. I'm Going to Ground... for at least one and a half months. Should you really need me start looking for me in the Uchiha Clan Estates.� he paused waiting for a response that would affirm Kakashi had heard and understood him. He was harried by his roiling emotions to seek Rest, now! Otherwise he might do something he would regret. At the moment his control was hanging by a thread. That thread was the distance he felt between himself and his overwhelming confusion and pain.
�Alright,� Kakashi said, too tired to coax a more informative answer out of him. �I'll tell Tsunade the next time I see her. Have a good rest, Sasuke.� He yawned hugely. �I need sleep too... See you in a couple months.�
He nodded, satisfied, and vanished from Kakashi's path. He sought the one place that he knew of that he would be safest from almost everyone. The only other person that knew of the secret shrine of the Uchiha family was Itachi, and Sasuke highly doubted that he would have reason to visit it. Without much thought he made himself comfortable. The smell of Naruto's blood on the hitai-ate was potent in the musty air about him, but he closed his eyes to remember the brief taste of it. It had been chilled by the metal he'd licked it from, and thus tasted more metallic than usual, but it had been the sweetest nectar he'd ever had. Embracing the warmth of thoughts about Naruto, pushing aside the deep part of him that still ached over his possible and probably permanent rejection, he felt the sleep of the dead steal over him, shutting down everything, but the barest and most basic of his reflexes. He was stretched out comfortably on the alter, having cleared it with a sweep of his arm. It was time his family gave a little bit back to him and a little peace and quiet wouldn't be too much to ask.
TBC...
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Of Sacrifices and Love - COMPLETE!!!