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Truth	By : emethyst Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Kakashi/Iruka Views: 4096 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: i make nothing from this piece of naruto fanfiction. all characters and original plotlines of the manga and anime belong to their rightful owners.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
just like the day before iruka was the first one to wake up, but instead of venturing out into the library or living room he basked in the comfy bed for a moment longer. it wasnt often that he got to relax and stay in bed, he always had something lined up to keep him busy. he didnt regret that, but it was nice to have a little break. getting up he gathered some clothes and headed to take a shower.

kakashi heard the water turn on in the bathroom and rolled over to glance at his clock. it was early, way too early for the jounin to be up after having stayed up so long the previous night. sighing he decided he might as well get up now and make some tea, he could take his shower once iruka was done. passing by the doorway to the bathroom he listened for just a moment to make sure everything was alright before continueing on his way. he made some tea and looked out the balcony to see how the clean up was going, they still had a long way to go before konoha was back to normal, but at least they had won against wave. hearing the water shut off he waited patiently for the nin to come out of the bathroom. ten minutes passed and still no chunin. frowning kakashi was about to go and check on him when he heard iruka call out his name.

"hey kakashi?"

"yeah"

he shouted down the hallway, he had already started making his way down the hallway before iruka had called him. now standing outside the door he waited for the man to respond.

" i dont suppose you have any hair ties do you?"

smiling he stated through the door.

"i might in the third drawer"

"ah thanks"

soon enough the door was opened revealing a dressed chunin with his hair tied back like he normally had it. coming out into the hallway kakashi told him there was tea in the kitchen and that he was going to catch a shower. nodding his head iruka made his way into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of tea before going to stand at the balcony. he heard the water turn on in the bathroom and wondered what he should do now that he had a couple minutes to himself. taking another drink of his tea he decided why not, opening the sliding glass door he stepped out onto the balcony and enjoyed the fresh breeze that carried all the normal scents of a busy ninja village. he was enjoying the sights and smells of his home when he heard a voice call out to him.

"hey iruka"

looking down he saw one of the other school teachers he was used to seeing at the school. gulping he waved.

"what are you doing over on this side of town?"

"im visiting hatake-san"

the teacher seemed confused for a second before clarifying.

"kakashi hatake?"

sighing he nodded his head, like there was another hatake in the entire village.

"we've missed you at the school, is something going on?"

"no-just a change in assignment, im doing some things for the hokage"

the man nodded his understanding and wished the chunin well before continueing on his way to the academy. letting out a breath he didnt realize he was holding, he leaned against the balcony railing. he thought about what the man had said. they'd missed him? he was sure that was not the case, alot of the teachers hated that he was an over achiever, he was sure that they thought he was trying to make them look bad which wasnt the case at all, he just really enjoyed his job. it gave him something to think about.

having cleaned himself up, he pulled on a clean mask and covered his sharingan eye before leaving the bathroom. walking down the hallway he heard voices, one distinctly belonging to the chunin in his care. frowning he made his way around the apartment, idly thinking 'if thats those two chunin i'm gonna throw something at them' it had been too obvious to the jounin that all their questions had unerved the chunin and he didnt want to add to the stress the man was already under. to his surprise, the conversation ended as he rounded the hallway. watching the chunin lean against the railing he was surprised when iruka mummbled to himself.

"why are people so nosey?"

smiling he came up behind the chunin and answered him.

"were shinobi, we like to ask questions"

seeing the man jump he smiled underneath his mask as the man whirled around. iruka frowned at kakashi before stating.

"stop sneaking up on me"

kakashi just continued to smile at him. shaking his head he walked passed the man and re entered the apartment. the jounin followed close behind.

"we should eat something before you have to goto therapy"

iruka nodded his head before requesting something light on the stomache. conserned kakashi asked if anything was wrong.

"no i just have a feeling were going to be talking about things that are not going to make me feel well"

nodding his head they ate a light breakfast before heading to the hospital. luckily they didnt encounter anyone on their way, which left them to walk in silence. reaching the entrance to the hospital kakashi asked.

"do you want me to walk you to the office?"

"no, i know where it is"

nodding his head kakashi said he would return in an hour to pick him up. iruka nodded his head as he made his way inside to go to his next session.

*******

jumping from rooftop to rooftop, kakashi made good time, he was meeting his team to talk about what had been going on in the village as well as let them know about how iruka was doing. although they were not overly close to the man, it seemed that his teammates were curious to see how the man was fairing after enduring ibiki and his memories. landing outside the teahouse, he waved to the group as he approached. quickly scooting into the booth he greeted them all. they ordered their drinks and while they waited for the waitress to return, the first question popped up.

"so how's he been?"

"as well as could be expected really, he hasnt tried anything so weve been getting along fine"

the group listened to their friend talk about the chunin before beginning to ask a variety of questions.

"hasnt tried anything really? i thought he would be chomping at the bit after when we found him with asuma's blade"

kakashi shrugged before stating.

"i let him clean the dishes and forgot that i had left a knife in there, he cleaned it and although he seemed fixated on it, didnt do anything and handed it over to me when i asked for it."

kurenai's eyes widened at that, she quickly warned her teammate to be more carefull.

"i hid the knife block that night, there is nothing remotley sharp or pointy in my place at the moment, that is not under lock and key"

that seemed to relax the kunoichi considerably.

"so what have you all been up too?"

they shrugged before telling him they had been mostly guarding the hokage, or doing detail work to try and remove some of the debri in the village. all boring things for ninja of their skill. their drinks came and the group lounged about together. it was kakashi who told them about iruka's willingness to share his past with him.

"he just let you ask anything?"

"yep, said it was the therapists idea."

"do you believe him?"

shrugging kakashi said he didnt have a reason to not believe him, as the man hadnt appeared to be lying to him, but that he was taking everything with a grain of salt. it was genma,who while sucking on a senbon asked if the chunin had even talked about his old sensei.

"he did, he asked me to keep it quiet for now. but what he revealed-orochimaru wasnt a normal sensei to those kids, not by a long shot."

they all knew how screwed up orochimaru was, but to know that there was more that they still didnt know was frustrating to them. they were used to being in the know, but understood kakashi's promise to the chunin.

"did he really not know that orochimaru was up to something all those years ago?"

"from what he told me, he truly didnt have a clue as to what orochimaru was up too. plus there's the fact that orochimaru didnt try to take iruka with him."

they nodded at that, the snake sanin was known for wanting to keep what he thought was his. if he truly had any attachment to iruka he would have dragged the boy along and possibly included him in his plans. looking to the clock he told them he had to go pick up the chunin and that he would be in touch in the next couple days. with that he made his way back to the hospital to pick up his ward.

******

arriving outside the door to the therapists office he was surprised to see the lady waiting for him, feeling a sense of dread crawl up his spine he hastened his pace. the elderly woman finally noticed him coming down the hall and motioned him to come into her office quietly. doing as he was instructed he was surprised to find the chunin asleep on a couch in the room.

"i dont understand"

"we talked about some rather traumatizing things today, made the poor man physically sick, i let him take it easy after that. no need to push things before he's ready."

nodding his head, kakashi asked the elder how iruka was taking to the therapy.

"he's resistant, he has long held beliefs that im trying to reroute in his brain, that is not an easy thing to do. for example he believes that he should have stopped his sensei from harming the third, that it was his fault that orochimaru went after the third as some vendetta to punish him for choosing the village over orochimaru."

his eyes widened. the chunin truly believed that the death of the third was his fault somehow.

"changing a persons way of thinking is like trying to move a mountain, you have to do it stone by stone, you cant just uproot the whole thing at once. were taking baby steps, but from what he has revealed to me-someone should have noticed earlier that things were not right with him."

"he said the third hokage knew some of what was going on in his life."

nodding her head she agreed about that, but went onto explain that his comrades and coworkers should have noticed a drastic change in behaivior anytime stressful events happened to the man. the fact that no one seemed to notice proved that either iruka was really good at hiding things from people or he truly didnt have many friends who were open enough to say something to the man.

" i know he works with two other chunin at the missions desk, im not sure about the school though. do you think they knowingly didnt report things?"

the woman shrugged her shoulders.

"if they knew something was wrong and did nothing than they were putting not just irukas life in danger but those around him. i have seen many shinobi break in my lifetime, but never one so controlled as him. he only allows pieces of himself to break, never the whole thing. if he were to have a massive breaking episode-it could be dangerous to any around the man."

looking to the sleeping chunin, it brought up more questions as to just how powerful the man was, did anyone really know what he was capable of?

"thank you for telling me, i will make sure he takes it easy for the rest of the day"

she nodded and walked over to the sleeping man, gently shaking him awake and telling him it was time for him to go. iruka nodded before noticing kakashi in the room. he got to his feet and made his way to his guardian before saying.

"can we go now"

kakashi nodded his head and in a puff of smoke they were gone. they reappeared at the entrance to the hospital, kakashi wanted to give the man a chance to think about his session as well as collect himself. the fresh air would do him good while he did that. the pace was slow back to kakashi's apartment. the jounin never asked any questions wanting to give iruka time to process everything. unlocking his door he let the chunin do as he pleased. he knew that there was nothing the man could hurt himself with in his apartment, and he would feel if the man tried to use his chakra. he watched as iruka walked down the hallway and entered his room, shutting the door quietly behind him. sighing kakashi made himself comfortable on the couch and started to catch up on his reading.

*******

laying on the bed iruka stared at the ceiling, a habit of his it seemed. he'd come into his room because he didnt want to talk about anything and knew that kakashi would naturally be curious as to how his session went. sighing he tried to collect his thought but his mind kept drifting back over and over to the same memory. breathing through his nose he tried to quell the rising nausea. he was bolting out the door in the next minute and barely made it to the bathroom in time to get sick. he heaved for what felt like forever, he'd already lost his breakfast and there was nothing left but bile for his body to get rid of.

*******

he had just been about to find out what happened to the daring hero, when he heard a door slam open and racing footsteps before the obvious sounds of someone getting violently sick came from what he assumed was his bathroom. racing down the hallway he quickly found iruka heaving into the toilet. wincing he entered the bathroom to try and help the chunin in anyway he could. getting a washcloth he dampened it with cold water before gently touching the now quiet teachers shoulder.

"wipe your mouth"

iruka didnt bother to open his eyes, just took the washcloth and did as he was told. leaning his head against he toilet he let the cold porclein cool his forehead.

"feel better?"

"not really"

"do you wanna talk about it?"

"no"

"alright"

he continued to watch iruka as the man lay curled around his toilet, the chunin stayed like that for a couple more minutes before he was sure he was done being sick. flushing the toilet he stood shakily and was about to make his way past kakashi when the jounin requested.

"why dont you come out into the living room, we can open the balcony door and get you some fresh air."

nodding his head mostly because he just didnt have the strenth to argue, he followed the masked man out into the living room. instead of choosing his favorite chair he made his way to the couch and curled up on it. kakashi opened the balcony door to let some air in and took a seat in the chair he had sat in the previous night. he let the man relax, taking out his book he resumed reading. glancing up occasionally to check on the man, he found that iruka appeared to have fallen asleep. smiling he let the man rest.

it was nearly three hours later, while turning yet another page to another volume of the amazing icha icha books that iruka startled him by talking out of the blue.

"sorry"

lowering his book he reguarded the man curiously.

"for what?"

"causing trouble"

raising an eyebrow, he wasnt sure what the man meant but decided to play along.

"its not a big deal"

iruka's eyes were still closed as he rested on the couch, but he continued to talk to kakashi.

"still, you shouldnt have to deal with all of this"

"mah, your not so bad- i once had to carry genma the whole way home from a mission while he was very enthusiastically singing a bar song at the top of his lungs because he reacted poorly to a poison we encountered."

"really?"

"the whole way"

the chunin had a feint smile on his face in response to the mans story.

"feel sorry for raido, that couldnt have been easy to handle when he got him home"

"all i know was that i was glad he wasnt my problem anymore. and i was finally able to shower and catch some sleep"

iruka's smile abruptly faded, his mind kept going back to the memory, it just wouldnt leave him alone. taking a deep breath he tried to overcome his bodies reaction to it. senseing that something was wrong he asked.

"need a bucket?"

iruka nodded and kakashi quickly retrieved a bucket for the man to be sick in, just in case it happened again. iruka was able to hold it back, but just barely.

"kakashi"

"yes iruka"

"i'd rather goto jail then go back to therapy"

frowning at the chunin he had to ask.

"any particular reason?"

"its only going to get worse, what we talked about today-it was light compared to some of the stuff-i dont want to remember these things, they're in the past cant we just leave them there."

sighing kakashi honestly answered.

"you can try, but its been my experience that they always find a way back into your life if you dont deal with them"

"i-i think i'd like to speak with the hokage"

raising an eyebrow kakashi asked.

"what about?"

"all of this-the stuff thats happening. i dont think its going to work"

"mah you have to give it a chance, your only on day two-"

"my point exactly, i dont want to relive all of this"

looking out the balcony door he thought a moment.

"if you want to speak to the hokage, i'll arrange it, however i doubt if she's going to change her mind"

iruka nodded and said thank you before turning over to face away from kakashi and settling back down into the couch. he watched the chunin for a couple minutes before returning to his book. whatever had happened today, it had obviously shaken the man.

he let iruka sleep, hoping it would help the man to shake off whatever was troubling him. he only woke him long enough for iruka to pick at lunch before going back to sleep. even with iruka in the apartment he was finding it too quiet for his liking, he had enjoyed speaking with the ninja and was beginning to miss his company even though the man was only a few feet away.

"do you ever have nightmares?"

not bothering to look up from his book he answered the chunin.

"yes"

flipping the page in his book he didnt have to look up to know the chunin had turned over and was now staring at him. he let iruka decide what they should talk about. he heard the teacher sigh.

"did you ever get hurt-while training?"

raising a brow he put his book down and considered the man before him, iruka didnt realize he was rubbing his arm obviously in a gesture to comfort himself.

"of course, ninja training is dangerous. did you?"

"not from my teammates no"

kakashi understood the implications of that, orochimaru had been the one to hurt him. sure all kids got banged up while training with one another or with their sensei, but kakashi figured this was more than that.

"did it happen often?"

"hmm-depends on if he was mad at us or not"

"why would he be mad at his students?"

iruka shrugged before mummbling.

"he always seemed mad or at the very least dissapointed in us. we were always trying to live up to his expectations. training for hours after he let us go for the day in hopes that the next day we might impress him. it never worked though."

"and he hurt you?"

iruka flinched a little, his hand stilling from its theraputic stroking of his arm.

"it seams sureal now, to think back on those times."

he let the teacher avoid the question, he was going to let iruka decided what he wanted to answer and when.

"is this why you were sick today? because of a memory?"

iruka nodded his head, closing his eyes he could recall the exact memory that came to mind. taking a deep breath he willed it out of his thoughts. he really didnt want to loose what lunch he had eaten.

"i see, it must have been a very powerful memory to illicit such a response from your body."

iruka nodded his head again, he had a lot of memories that if given the opportunity would make him violently ill, thats why he chose not to think about them. they were in the past after all.

"have you ever gotten sick like that-because of a memory?"

"cant say i have, normally my bodies response is to just collapse, i always wake up in the hospital though so someone must find me everytime it happens. i did get sick after fighting itachi though"

"after you woke up from the coma?"

"yes"

iruka looked at kakashi, he didnt know why he was being so open with the man, other than they had nothing better to talk about.

"so what did you do-while i was in therapy?"

"saw my team for a little bit"

"oh, how were they?"

smiling kakashi told iruka about how they were being forced to help with the cleanup when not on active guard duty and how genma had been complaining about it. iruka smiled at that. finally it was kakashi who decided to ask a question that could possibly end tonights banter between them.

"why havent you tried to make friends in the village after your teammates deaths?"

iruka was surprised at the question and it showed on his face. the chunin took a moment to consider whether or not he wanted to answer it before stating.

" i guess i never really wanted any-i didnt want the connections with other people, there was just too much at stake. they could learn about my past and endanger my position at the school or they might leave the village on a mission and never return. i just didnt want the hassle of it all."

"mah even anbu are allowed to have a social life, surely a school teacher would be allowed the same thing"

iruka smiled, he could recall how people had invited him to many events, he'd always turned them down and slowly over time he wasnt asked anymore. deciding to turn the tables on the nin he asked.

"what about you? you dont go around talking about your past-most people think your a recluse"

kakashi laughed a little before responding.

"im sure most people do, but i do have friends that i enjoy spending time with."

" your hardly ever seen around with people-or at least that i've seen"

"i am a ninja iruka, i know how to get around town without people noticing me"

the chunin conceaded to that and nodded.

"so what, you guys goto super secret places only anbu are allowed?"

laughing kakashi had to go along with it.

"something like that"

"pft liar"

kakashi laughed some more at the chunin's expense. iruka stared at the ceiling, he was trying to understand everything. why was he so comfortable around kakashi-he'd hated the man when he learned he was going to enter team seven in the chunin exams. he barely knew him other than the fact that he was always late and returned in less than stellar reports. he shouldnt allow himself to open up to him, reguardless of what the therapist had told him. she's warned him that he was escalating towards a manic attack, he'd only experienced that a couple times in his life and to be honest he didnt want to go through it again, but didnt believe that simply talking to someone was going to make him better.
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Truth