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To Duel With Fate	By : Mihkail Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female > Itachi/Sakura Views: 4864 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, and I do not profit from this fanfic.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
Very little of the brothers' exchange could be heard from the treeline. Most of their conversation was spoken at a low volume. The only thing they caught wind of was the startling shout that sent birds fleeing and echoes resounding around them, when Sasuke lost his cool. Needless to say, Sakura and Shisui were largely oblivious to what happened, but there was a palpable sense of melancholy blanketing the three of them now. The details were lost, but the conclusion was a sullen one, even with that hug thrown in at the end.
It was better than fighting, though. Even if she didn't agree with Sasuke's actions, the last thing she wanted was to watch them turn against each other. So that was a relief.
The warm fingers laced through hers lead her onward to an unknown destination, with an unknown purpose. Being left in the dark was never comfortable. There was no way to prepare herself for what came next if she didn't know what transpired between them, or how Itachi internalized whatever he had witnessed. The only thing she could do while she waited eagerly was try to decipher what was going through Sasuke's head, based on his reactions. Itachi's face had been turned away from her most of the time, so it was pointless trying to figure him out.
When he yelled...that was scary, and sad, and kind of shocking. It made her reassess what she believed she knew about them. Based on the way Sasuke always spoke of his older brother, she assumed for years that they were really close. She thought they must share everything together. Know more about each other than the rest of the world ever would. What she just witnessed blew her assumptions right out of the water, though. It seemed she wasn't the only one trying to cross a divide separating her from her unstable teammate.
Beyond that, she didn't even know what she thought of Sasuke anymore. After everything he said and did to her today, her mind couldn't begin to process the shitstorm he left her to deal with so unsympathetically. He didn't even look at her once before he was swallowed by the trees. Like she didn't exist. Like everything had been resolved. Newsflash, it hadn't. The only reason she wasn't having a nervous breakdown right now was because Itachi was in front of her. She didn't have any time yet to let everything sink in, and she was too on edge about what was going to be said next.
But that didn't mean the events weren't weaving their affect within her. She was trapped in her own state of pandemonium that could very well dismantle her composure if things went any further south. As terrified as she was of what Itachi might say to her now, the crumb of hopefulness she was clinging to with a death grip was keeping her afloat, if just barely. He was holding her hand. That had to mean something good, right? On any other day, it would have an even greater impact on her. This was the first time she ever held a guy's hand before. Hand-holding was for reserved for couples. But she was too distracted by more important things to pay the gesture the full attention it was due.
Shisui glanced up when they neared, casting a solemn look on his best friend. He and Sakura hadn't spoken a word while they waited on the sidelines, too busy watching the two hash it out in the field. Trying, and failing, to hear what was going on. The only thing that eased the silence was the occasional murmur of the lone crow that had perched itself on a branch above their heads. She was grateful to have him next to her, though. So little time had they spent together since she met him, and yet he was proving his trustworthiness faster than most of her friends growing up ever did. She better understood why Itachi was so close to him now. Who wouldn't value a friend like him?
“He's your brother, so from now on, I'll leave this to you.” Sharingan met black, and it was only then Sakura realized he never deactivated it. As if he anticipated intervening a second time. Or maybe it was always activated when he was working, she didn't know. Itachi gave a single nod, and she watched them stare at one another for a second. A mutual understanding of something passing between them that she couldn't define.
“I have to get back to work.” Shisui shifted, preparing to leave them now that the threat was over. Knowing they would want to speak without an audience. It wasn't his place to know their business, or even Sasuke's business. The only reason he stayed as long as he did was to help keep the peace, and ensure everything ended safely. Mostly for Sakura's sake. Itachi could handle Sasuke no problem, but the three of them together made for a precarious situation. If he had to be honest, Shisui was surprised his best friend reacted as calmly as he did to what they witnessed, but he would keep that to himself for now.
“Shisui!” Sakura took a step forward, and he paused to look at her, a glimmer of stern red in the darkness.
“Thank you for...you know...helping me out.” She gave him a demure smile. It was hard not to feel a little uncomfortable, knowing the compromised physical position she'd been in at the time, even if she was the victim of circumstance. That wasn't going to stop her from letting him know she recognized and appreciated his intervention, though.
To her slight surprise, she didn't get the reserved and polite response she expected from him. Instead, his brow crinkled and jaw flexed lightly as he looked away from her. Fixing an unnerving, if not harsh stare into the trees.
“Why did you let him get away with so much?” It wasn't a snap, but his voice was different to what she normally heard from him. Not as gentle and lighthearted. He resonated with an aura she would expect from someone in the military police. It would make sense, given his position, but it still wasn't how she knew him.
Dry, cracked lips parted as she stared at him, worry creasing its lines across her face as she fumbled within herself. Itachi said nothing.
“You were too nice to him, Sakura. You let him go too far.” His eyes narrowed a pinch, a sigh puffing through his nose. He was angry at Sasuke, disappointed with her, and aggravated he had to ditch his job and chase them down...though honestly, it was kind of in his job description in the first place, wasn't it? Still, this fiasco could have easily been prevented, in his opinion. There were matters much more dire than this one that warranted an investigation, at the moment.
Her mouth parted wider, eager to defend her actions, and lack thereof, except nothing came out. The initial opposition rapidly lost steam, and her shoulders slumped. Troubled gaze falling to the ground as she wondered herself why she didn't try harder to slap some sense into Sasuke. It was something she recognized even now, despite having no time to reflect, but the answer was a complicated one. Something told her Shisui wouldn't accept any excuse if she took the time to try to explain herself, anyway.
“Shisui... You can't blame her for what he did.” Itachi cut in softly.
“I'm not—“ Shisui closed his eyes for a second, and took a deep breath. Then he turned, and she looked up to find his red eyes scrutinizing her. “Sakura, I'm not blaming you for anything he did. I wouldn't do that. You have no control over his actions. But you held back. You were capable of doing more than you did. You can't let someone take advantage of you just because you care about them.”
She swallowed and glanced away, a hint of pain trickling over her face. He was right. She wouldn't begin to argue with him, but he made it sound so simple. Why couldn't it feel that simple to her? Even now, when she knew she didn't want him—especially after today—Sasuke was still a weakness. She was aware of that flaw, but knowing how to fix it was a different story. This problem seemed so black and white to Shisui, but not to her.
“You can't be afraid to hurt someone who isn't afraid of hurting you.” He emphasized on a quieter note. When she looked at him again, she saw his frustration cave a little, replaced by concern.
“She hit him with a tree.” Itachi murmured, a little in awe as he recalled the scene in his head.
“Yeah... That was a big tree.” Shisui agreed with another sigh.
“And maybe a rock.” Itachi peered down the long path of pummeled and charred earth that disappeared into the shadows of the forest, the trail that massive boulder left behind. It rolled too far for them to see it now, in the fading light. Shisui turned around to follow his gaze into the tunnel of jagged and filthy carnage, and they pondered quietly for a moment.
“He dodged that one, I think.” Sakura added, lacking any sense of pride as she glanced between their turned heads. At least she now had an idea of when they arrived. Some time between dislodging that rock and slamming a tree into him. That was a little helpful, but the thought of them seeing even that much made her cringe.
The fingers lacing hers squeezed mildly, just enough to get her attention, though Itachi didn't look her way. The small token of affection eased a little of the tension that was coiling her taut.
“If I see him doing something like that again, he's getting more than a few punches. I'm taking him to the station.”
She was looking down at their joined hands when she heard Shisui's promise. Distracted by how clean Itachi's looked compared to her's. Thinking about how much she was going to scrub when she got home. Thinking...about anything other than Sasuke, if she could help it. Escape wouldn't come readily for her, though. She was stuck in the thick of this mess whether she liked it or not. In fact, it revolved around her. If only she could just stop for a few minutes and clear her mind.
Itachi bowed his head slightly in thought, hair slanting forward around his face. “I would expect as much.” His voice was still so quiet, like he was the one being reprimanded. Knowing that wasn't the case, it was strange to hear him like that. Not that he ever raised his voice in front of her, but it wasn't just the volume that made her reconsider him. It expressed a mournful and weary quality.
“Alright... I'll see you tomorrow.” Shisui nodded to Itachi, and then looked back at her, “Goodnight, Sakura.”
His body flickered briefly before disappearing from sight, as if he teleported, or had been a mere illusion all along. Sakura stared at the empty space in front of her curiously. Surprised at just how fast he moved. If he even moved...? She wasn't sure what he did, but it was just as unsettling as it was cool. Above her, the crow made a deep, grunt-like sound, and she looked up. It snapped repeatedly, crunching audibly as the twitching legs of a black spider vanished into its beak. She wrinkled her nose, sidestepping to avoid a falling leg that broke free and rained to the ground. The bird crouched and sprang from the branch, broad wings carrying it through the trees to follow the Uchiha toward the village.
Without a word, Itachi started walking. Leading her deeper into the darkening forest to start their journey towards civilization. She returned to staring at their joined hands, steadily fusing into an indistinguishable blur of flesh in the shadows, as they traced the length of the destruction until the canopy reemerged over them. It was hard to focus. Just like him, when he stared down Sasuke on the field, she didn't know where to begin. Being so tired made it even harder, as her energy was sapped from so many different directions. The idea of collapsing down into the moss and scattered leaves and taking a nap was frightfully inviting. In her current state, it's not like she would have to worry about getting any dirtier.
“How did you know to look for me?” She asked him quietly, faintly amazed that none of the antsy, nervous behavior she was so used to getting caught up in was affecting her right now. In a way, it kind of felt like she was the one who'd been hit by that tree. Now that the adrenaline rush was over, she was too shocked to know how to react. There were so many things she was worried about a few minutes ago. So many things she wanted to say, and to question, but the words were stubbornly slipping through her grasp like water, every time she tried to latch on.
“I didn't. Shisui did.” He admitted, keeping their leisurely pace through ancient pillars.
She looked up at him, but he answered her next question before she could ask.
“He's been watching over you. He knew something like this would happen.”
“Oh... But how?”
“You would have to talk to him about that.” Itachi didn't enjoy lying, even if it did it sometimes, so it was easier to defer her to his friend than tell the truth himself. If Shisui wanted her to know that he helped Sasuke spy on them when they were behaving like animals in his room, then he would have to be the one to tell her. Unless either of them were going to insist on turning it into a bigger issue, he was prepared to let that little secret stay hidden for a while, if not forever. Sakura didn't need to know all the details. She'd been through enough already.
Painting his friend in a bad light was the last thing he wanted to do, anyway. He didn't believe Shisui's goal was to be a pervert, but it would be hard to defend his innocence in a situation like that.
“He's a good friend.” She said with a dim smile, deciding not to pursue the subject for one reason or another.
“Yes, he is.” He agreed, yet still so somber. Sakura watched him with careful interest in the subdued light, but there wasn't much she could see on his face.
“Itachi?”
“Hm...”
“Why did you guys wait so long to stop us?” She asked hesitantly, afraid of his answer as much as she craved to hear it.
A pause followed as he considered her question. He knew why. That's wasn't the issue. It was phrasing his response in such a way that was truthful, yet easy to stomach for the both of them.
“I wanted to see how you two interacted without my interference.” A deep voice began thoughtfully. “I also didn't...” He paused again, the corner of his eye twitching in a brief wince. “I didn't want to believe he would follow through on his intention. I wanted him to prove that he was better than that. I wanted to trust him. Shisui didn't.” He swallowed, avoiding an in depth explanation. Giving her just enough so she could fill in the blanks on her own.
She didn't know how to answer yet, and so she let her mind wander through the evening's sea of chaotic memories. Combing them in quiet circumspect to try to see the situation from his point of view.
Silence accompanied them until the last of the trees crept into view. The blinking lights of the Uchiha village dotted between the thick trunks as tiny, flickering lanterns and brighter street lamps. A strange mix of old-world tradition and modern technology. The crunch of leaves dulled as the tall grass returned, and the breeze felt drier in the open air. Ahead of them, a child shrieked as it ran around one of the houses, chased by another sprouting a geyser of fire. Their laughter carried as they sprinted in circles, until a woman's voice called for them to come inside for dinner.
Itachi was watching them play, lost in another world where memories conveyed simpler times, when he felt her hand tug him suddenly. Reeling him back into reality. He paused and looked down at her, able to see her a little more clearly, even though they were still far from the lights clustered around the homes and shops.
“Where are we going?”
“I'm walking you home.” He murmured, as if it should have been obvious.
All the way to her house? He was planning on traveling all the way into the heart of Konoha, and then all the way back to his own home? That surprised her a little, and it reflected on her face. The corner of her mouth quirked to the side, and she eyed him with concern. But instead of questioning his reasons, she skipped straight to the most important subject. One she'd been trying to mull over through all the distractions and confusions that got in the way up until this point.
“You know I want nothing to do with him, right?” She asked, hiding most of the desperation that wanted to pour out with that question. Imploring him to understand that today changed nothing between them, as far as she was concerned. If anything, it only strengthened her feelings. She was interested in only him. Sasuke wasn't going to get in her way.
He considered her carefully, revealing nothing but the steady, tired sadness that seemed to have become a permanent fixture on his face. “Nothing?” Mirroring her word, he watched a flash of urgency grip her, followed by frustration at the thought that he didn't quite believe her.
“No, nothing. I know I should have been meaner to him, when he tried to...” She sighed, trying to collect her thoughts as she looked down. “All I can tell you is that I don't want him. I know I don't. He's a jerk and he has a lot of growing up to do, and I'm not wasting my time on him anymore.” A tooth nibbled anxiously on her bottom lip, part of her regretting saying something so harsh. In the end, they were still brothers, so she felt she ought to be careful even now. “I just...want you to know that I haven't changed my mind about anything, okay?”
“Ten years is a long time to love someone. Is letting go that easy?” He asked softly. Either testing her in a way, or genuinely curious, she didn't know. But it stung a little. It stung because it was true, and she couldn't blame him for asking something like that. She would be skeptical if she was in his shoes, too.
“No, it's not easy.” A quiet laugh drifted to him as she lowered her head. Heartbroken and frayed to the edge of her wits, yet she was still keeping her composure more than she thought she would. “That's why it took ten years. It was more than time, though... I got a pretty rough shove in the right direction. Kind of threw everything into place for me.” She laughed again, shaking her head.
She was talking about him, and he knew. Only, her opinion of the matter was different than his. More forgiving of the method, more welcoming to the change it brought. She felt stronger in the aftermath, even with all the strain it put on her, and he felt...weaker. His self-reflection yielded regret and disgrace, and it was drawing a painful knot in his chest that grew tighter the longer he looked at her.
Sakura drifted backwards, heels shifting through the tall grass to sit down on a large mossy root arching from the ground at the edge of the trees. He took a couple steps after her, guided by their clasped hands. She was studying something intently between her feet, waiting for him to say something. Anything. Even if it wasn't something she wanted to hear, it was better than nothing.
“You're so much better than he is, Itachi. In every way. I know that's not a nice thing to say, and that I shouldn't be comparing you two, but it's true.” She allowed herself to admit what she really felt, regardless of the outcome. It needed to be said, or she feared he would never think she was being completely honest with him. The last thing she wanted was for him to walk away, thinking she was finally getting what she wanted from his brother. That was her ultimate nightmare.

“I like you a lot, and I really want to see where—” The change in pressure caused her to look up, and watch as his fingers loosened their grip and pulled away form her. Leaving her hand to hover alone in the cool air, while his returned to his side. She stared at that hand for too long, unable to look up and meet his eyes. Scared of what she might find staring down at her. Afraid she would finally understand where that sadness was coming from, and be crushed by it herself.
Reluctantly, she withdrew her abandoned hand to brace against the jutting root next to her, palm brushing over the green moss serving as her cushion. Her fingers squeezed tighter than they needed to, denting into the velvet. She let her eyes fall shut, the heaviness returning to her shoulders as she lost her train of thought, and gave up trying to explain herself. If the truth wasn't enough for him, then there was nothing else she could do.
She could hear him moving, but she didn't look. Part of her pessimistically imagined him walking away, leaving her to sit alone indefinitely Never coming back. But her eyes reopened apprehensively when something tickled her bare legs. They twitched involuntarily, and she stared in surprise as he melted over her. His face buried into the tops of her thighs as he knelt on the ground before her, hiding in their warmth. Hands smoothed over her lap as they caged the top of his head. Careless of the dirt that covered her.
A humid breath filtered over her skin, slow and paced as he used her as a shield to block out the rest of the world. She didn't know what to say. Was he happy? He didn't seem happy. But he was touching her, at least... That was a strange position to be in. Under normal circumstances, she would anticipate him pouncing on her at any given moment, ravishing her in the way he so enjoyed to do. This was different, though. He felt physically heavier, like all his weight was slumped into her, dead and unmoving. His lips did nothing but breathe for him, and his fingers curled gently over the gritty fabric of her bunched up skirt.
“I'm sorry, Sakura.” The grave apology hummed into her skin.
“Sorry? Why are you sorry?” She reached hesitantly for his head, gliding her hand over the silky hair he kept in a loose ponytail down his back. Her legs parted a little, worried he would find it difficult to breathe soon if she didn't move.
“You didn't deserve any of this.” It was muffled and imbued with guilt, but she could hear him.
“I'm not going to disagree with you, but Itachi...you're not the one who should be saying sorry.” Her brow creased in uncertainty, fingers continuing to pet softly through his dark hair.
His face rose from the comforting nook to look up at her, serious and doleful. The touch of her hand lingered behind him, resting on the tie that kept his hair in place while she stared, fascinated by this change in him.
“You really believe I am so different from him.” It wasn't a question, but rather a statement that left an acrid taste in his mouth upon the realization. How could she be so blind? Condemning his little brother, who she claimed to have loved for a decade, for acting the way he did today. Why wasn't he being condemned as well? Why did he earn so much leniency from her? As far as he was concerned, he was worse than Sasuke. In a way, he helped contribute to his behavior, even if it wasn't directly. He always knew he was Sasuke's number one influence in everything he did.
This wasn't the first time these thoughts burdened him. His self-analysis began months ago, long before his latest mission that put him in the hospital. But since the hospital, everything started coming into sharper focus. Now, after what happened today, every flaw was magnified. Everything from the tiniest blemish to the ugliest wounds that made up his person was reflected back at him through the mirror of his own brother, and he didn't like it. He made a lot of mistakes over time, and he let down a lot of people...some of whom didn't even recognize his mistakes. It didn't matter. He could see every one of them, and he couldn't ignore them anymore.
The face looking down at him was frozen in dismay, as if she didn't understand what he was saying. “Of course you're different. You've always been direct with me, and you've never been cold. You didn't spend ten years acting like you wanted me to leave you alone every time I paid you attention, and then turn around and attack me as soon as I stopped. You actually care. He doesn't... Not in the way I want him to...used to want him to. Isn't that obvious?”
The fingers tugged behind him, pulling the tie free so his hair could fall around him. Slipping down his shoulders while she brushed through the strands absently. She wasn't paying much attention to what she was doing. It just felt natural to play with his hair, and she did like it better when it wasn't tied back. She watched his hooded eyes sink down to stare at her lap, letting her fiddle with him without complaint. Giving her the impression that nothing she said was translating the way she hoped it would. Part of the problem was that she didn't grasp where he was coming from yet.
“I thought you were annoying when I first met you.” He murmured, a single finger tracing a smudge of ash over the top of her skirt. “I thought you were...immature, a little selfish, and too focused on things that didn't matter.” His speech was slow and deliberate. Careful, but not in order to spare her any truth. He wanted to ensure he meant everything he said, and that it came out right.
The fingers running through his hair stopped, and Sakura felt a lump form in her throat.
“I thought a lot of things...that weren't true. I made some assumptions I shouldn't have. I also thought you were beautiful...and I liked your yukata.” He took a slow inhale and closed his eyes, reliving the memories. Some good, some bad; he let them all rush in. “Back then, I believed I understood why my brother kept his distance from you. But now...I don't understand at all.”
He eased back onto his heels, sliding away from her so he could sit with his forearms propped on her knees as he looked up at her. It was such an odd, sullen confession that made her feel hurt, yet relieved, yet happy all at once. All she could do was stare, trying to piece together what all this amounted to.
“You're stronger than a lot of people I've met, and in ways you might not realize. You care so much, that you would rather let yourself get hurt, than hurt someone close to you. Even if they deserved that pain, you would try to take it in their place.”
“Well...within reason, I guess...” She peeped apprehensively, unsure of what exactly she was supposed to say to him.
His eyes hardened suddenly, determined to put his stance into perspective for her. “Sakura, tell me this... What if I stabbed you in the chest, right now, and you bled out. What if there was nothing you could do, but wait to die. If asked you to forgive me with your last breath, would you do it?”
She stared silently for a minute. More than a little stunned by such a strange question. She never wanted to imagine a situation like that in her head. That would be awful. But when she thought about it...
“Yeah, I...I probably would. I mean...if I knew I was dying, and I couldn't stop it, and you really wanted me to forgive you...why wouldn't I?”
He stared at her as if he didn't hear a word she said. But really, he just didn't want to believe they were the words she chose.
“I mean, please don't do that. It would suck. I'd be really sad and I wouldn't understand why you would do something that horrible...but I could forgive you, if you wanted me to. Well, I guess I should say that...I could forgive you if you honestly regretted what you'd done.”
A strange blend of emotions contorted his face. Gripping the mild sadness in his eyes and wrenching it into something pained and angry. It disappeared as quickly as it came, and he shut his eyes with a slight turn of his head, as if to shield her from its wrath. Allowing only a wrinkle to remain on his brow. Apparently, she didn't answer the way he wanted her to.
Part of her wanted to recoil from him, afraid she'd upset him, and part of her wanted to pull him into a hug. If he was trying to make a point, she was having trouble following along. “I don't see where this is going...” She murmured faintly, wondering if she missed something.
“Six months ago, you came over to my house, looking for Sasuke. I invited you in, I let you rant, and I pissed you off. But when you tried to leave, I didn't let you go.” He opened his eyes to level a glare on her that was frightening. Like she'd done something wrong. “I raped you, Sakura...and you just accepted it. You acted like everything was fine. I hurt you, and more than once I've tried to make you see that, and you refuse to. That kind of offense isn't something you just brush off, like the way you have done.”
“Itachi...” She sighed loudly, leaning forward slightly and drawing her hands up through her own tangled, dirty hair. “I didn't just brush it off. I...kept most of it to myself for a long time, and I'm okay with that. It's really not as bad are you're making it sound.” She looked up at him, distressed and wistful, while her hands paused on the sides of her head. “I know what happened. I've had a lot of time to think about everything. I wish I'd gotten to meet you in a different kind of setting, but we can't change the past. We talked about this, didn't we? You already apologized in the hospital, and you apologized again when I came over for dinner.”
Judging by his unmoving expression, everything she said was bouncing off a wall of stone. He wouldn't accept her explanation. He didn't want to be forgiven, and that's where the real predicament lied.
“Alright, it's not okay. What you did was messed up, and it took a while for me to figure out how I felt about it, but the point is that the worst is over. I got to know you better, just like you got to know me better, and you realized I'm not...annoying and immature and whatever else you originally thought. I know you're not a bad person, Itachi, and that changes everything. Everyone makes mistakes, you know? You did something you shouldn't have, but all your good qualities more than make up for it. The fact that you're trying this hard to make me recognize what you did kind of speaks for itself. If you really were an asshole, you wouldn't be saying stuff like this, so...”
The disturbed look on his face never flinched. He glanced down to her lap, saying nothing. It was so funny, when she thought about it. Here he'd committed this crime against her months ago, and yet he was the one getting beat up over it. She was ready to let it go, and focus on the present. Wasn't he the one that said he lived in the moment, because that's all he had? That sentence impacted her ever since he gave her a peek into the inner workings of his brain, when they first met. But he seemed to have forgotten its meaning, and was letting the past eat him up inside. Tripping over a single event in time that he would never be able to erase.
Still, silence.
“Gah! What do you want me to say? Do you want me to punch you in the face? Would that make you feel better? Should I say that I won't forgive you, and that I never want to see you again?”
“Yes.” He answered flatly, without missing a beat. So firm in his decision that she suddenly realized he'd been thinking about it this whole time.
“NO!” The legs serving as his pillow shot up so abruptly he lost his balance and fell. Back thumping onto the grass and a quick blur redirecting his startled gaze up to the evening sky, with its stars growing brighter by the minute. Above his capsized form, she fumed audibly. Hot breath steaming through her nose as her arms crossed over her chest. She glared down at him, then dropped her arms, flexing her hands into tight fists. Then crossed them over her chest again in a huff. Disconcerted enough by his answer that all she could do was fidget and grit her teeth, while trying to keep her cool.
“You... I can't even... Damnit!!” She cursed, and resigned to setting her hands on her hips. “If I can forgive you, you should be able to forgive yourself! I mean... Come on! It's not like it was the worst thing in the world!” A mess of pink hair and angry green eyes poked into his view as she leaned over him. “I liked it, okay! It was scary at first, but I liked it! Don't you think I would have tried a little harder to get away if I didn't? I tried harder with Sasuke! I'm sure you saw that, right? Yeah, I could have hurt him more than I did, but... Kami! This shit is complicated! Give me a break!!”
The sprawled Uchiha laid there obediently while she went off like a rocket. Her voice rose a little in volume, but the tone changed significantly, and he was reminded of another thing he liked so much about her. That fiery streak, of course. She did such a good job of keeping a lid on it most of the time they were together. She even had him convinced for a while that it was normal for her to be so passive and shy, but times like this made him question that. When she was really passionate about something, she would let the sparks fly. It was a pleasant surprise, every single time...and why wouldn't someone with a natural talent for fire and lightning techniques be attracted to her for that very reason?
When he did nothing but blink, she felt more of her control slip, and descended on him with a purpose. “Look...” She plopped down on top of his waist, straddling him while her fingers curled into his shirt. “If you don't want to forgive yourself, then fine. I can't help the way you feel. But don't you dare try to walk away from me now just because you feel guilty. If you feel guilty, then make it up to me! But don't leave... And so help me Kami, if you even think about spewing some shit like I deserve better than you, I will punch you in the face.”
That was amazing. How did she know he was going to say something like that?
Itachi watched her with wide eyes, studying the threatening look she was giving him. That little spark inside her flared brighter and spread, engulfing the anxious girl that spent so much effort trying to keep everyone else happy, sometimes at her own expense. It was beautiful. He loved it, and he wished he could see more of it.
His sides shook lightly against her legs, chest rumbling in a quiet chuckle as a grin spread his lips. After soaking in all that sadness, and then teetering into anger, it was the last reaction she expected from him. Fingers loosening their hold, she considered him with narrowed eyes. Too suspicious of this turn of events to let herself relax. Slowly, she straightened her back and flattened her palms on his chest. He laughed harder, eyes squeezing shut as it took hold of him.
She was something else. The way she made him feel...there were no words for it. Did he want to push her away? Yes. Did he think she deserved someone better than him? Absolutely. But she wasn't prepared to let him make a decision like that alone. That was something he had to respect, even if he didn't agree. Honestly, a selfish part of him wanted her to make him stay, anyway. Turning his back now, while he knew he could do it, would be one hell of a difficult thing to pull off...and impossible to manage unscathed. He liked her too much. Shutting off his emotions wouldn't work at this point, and neither would pretending.
She sighed, bowing her head in defeat. She didn't know what to think anymore, but apparently she was just hilarious. Well, at least he was happy now. Good for him.”Okay seriously...what's so funny?” Grumbling under her breath, she missed his eyes cracking open to watch her.
“Sakura...” He laughed again, and she refused to look up at him. “Why is it so easy for you to forgive me?”
“Because!” She shouted suddenly, flipping her hair out of her face in a jerk. “That's what unconditional love does! When you love someone, you always forgive them! That's just what you do!”
The laughter faded away into the breeze. It took her a second to realize what she said, as she stared down at him. He regarded her curiously, all the amusement thoroughly smacked off his face. When it finally clicked in her head, she inhaled a little too sharply.
“Oh... I...” Crap. She shouldn't have said that. She didn't mean the way it came out. It just flowed so easily, because it felt right, and that's what made sense to her. But you don't just casually tell someone you love them like that! It's weird, and it confuses people, and she probably just majorly freaked him out.
“I mean... Ahahaaa...” Sakura laughed nervously, trying not to fidget on him while a hand rubbed the back of her neck needlessly. The only reaction she got from him was a few more slow blinks, lips sealed shut.
“Well, you know! Like how you would forgive Sasuke or Shisui for anything, right?!” Yeah, exactly. That made sense. He should be able to relate to that. Oh, please relate to that...
His hands drifted to her face. Palms brushing along her jaw while his thumbs touched her cheeks. Hair swishing as she let her hand slide away from the nape of her neck, an ardent gaze captured him. Afraid that if she so much as blinked, she would miss something.
He eased her down until she was a few inches from him. She kept herself braced on his chest, eyes flickering curiously between his. A chaste kiss touched her lips, so smooth and soft compared to her own. Then he kissed each cheek, moving his hands to sift into her hair, and tilted her head to plant his final kiss on her forehead. It wasn't the first time he'd done something like that, and she couldn't help but wonder what it meant to him, but she didn't ask.
The tension in her shoulders abated as he pulled her flush against him, trapping her arms between them and resting his chin on top of her head. She didn't know what to say, and so she merely watched the needle-like blades of grass sway around them in a hazy curtain. Listened to the steady rhythm of each breath of the broad chest that ballooned into her.
“Thank you, Sakura. Your forgiveness is unjustified, but I will accept it, if it will make you happy.” He murmured above the unkempt pink strands tickling him, an unreadable gaze exploring the tiny pinpricks of light peppering the sky. Saying nothing of her little slip up, and locking away his true feelings as expertly as any ANBU could. Somehow responding in such a way that made her feel immensely better, without revealing anything personal.
She smiled to herself. Focus fading as the blades of grass blurred into obscurity. The seconds blended with them, until any sense of time disappeared. The only thing that existed was that moment. The present. None of the concerns of yesterday mattered, and thinking of the future was futile. Impossible to know, with how quickly things could and routinely did change. But she didn't care anymore, and that was the best part. Right now, she was happy. She found more closure. It wouldn't last... The only permanence in life was change, after all. But she'd been looking for a sense of closure for so many things, for so long. Now that she finally experienced its long-awaited reprieve, she willed everything else in the world to vanish. Nothing was allowed to disrupt the sense of security and warmth she felt in this moment.
The physical warmth was just as soothing, as his body heat bathed her. After such a long and stressful day, it was as relaxing as a hot spring. Not as refreshing as one, but she would happily trade a steamy soak for his encircling arms. A hot bath could still leave her feeling empty, but not this...
She never stood a chance. The small, dusty form molded over him grew limp as she submitted, and her breathing pattern changed. A little slower and more evenly paced, raspy as her throat relaxed. The shift of his arms as they slid down and around her back registered somewhere in a distant alcove of her mind as she spiraled into darkness, but the overwhelming comfort paralyzed her. It was never her goal to fall asleep, but it couldn't be helped. She was finally granted a chance to silence her mind, and freely bask in his company. As a result it knocked her out cold before she could catch herself sinking away from reality. The price of finally allowing herself to unwind after enduring a physical and emotional beating.
Itachi let her drift away. He didn't anticipate her falling asleep either, but it wasn't that surprising. He resigned to watching the stars and listening to the sounds of night fill the silence around them. There was nowhere he needed to be tonight, and so he would stay there as long as she needed him to. Sooner or later she would need to go home, but for a while at least, he could be her bed. He wondered faintly how she could comfortably sleep in a position like that. With her legs on either side of his waist, they were bound to go numb sooner or later. Then again, he could empathize, if he reflected on some of his past missions. When you've been through hell and back, you can fall asleep in the damnedest positions imaginable. Even upside down on a stone staircase, if that's where you happened to crash.
A thumb stroked her back sluggishly, fighting the impulse to let his hand slip lower and trail beneath her shirt to glide along the dip of her spine. He didn't want to wake her. Instead, he let his thoughts wander. Like her, he was trying to enjoy the moment as much as he could, while it lasted...but his mind wouldn't rest for long. The lingering peace she felt was denied to him, as a vague sense of impending doom pricked him with its claws. As if he knew this peace would not only be short-lived, but was bound to serve as the calm before a storm approaching on his horizon. He could feel the change in the wind as it picked up and altered course, and the damp air billow into him. For now, he kept his back turned willfully. Choosing to face the dying rays of warm sunlight that danced so brightly, and with such vivid colors, that he couldn't bring himself to look away just yet. Wanting them to stay forever.
He didn't know where this feeling was born from, but it was something he couldn't shake. Well, perhaps he at least had an idea, but he didn't want to acknowledge this threat, similarly to how he couldn't bring himself to acknowledge Sasuke. It had the potential to cause more strain than he wished to deal with. Especially if his own father was in any way involved, like his intuition suggested he was.
Itachi wouldn't wait as long to intervene this time, if a new obstacle did manifest...but maybe for just a little bit longer, he could pretend there was nothing left to worry about.
- 12
- 13
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To Duel With Fate