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Another Perfect Wonder	By : jaded_priceless Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Kakashi/Iruka Views: 10014 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I make no profit from this work of fiction. Full disclaimer inside

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
Warnings: Kakashi was is bad shape when Iruka found him. This chapter mentions bodily fluid, the non-prurient inspection and handling of a naked unconscious Copy Nin that Iruka must do to treat and disguise him.

They’d finished their meals and Iruka was applying chakra to a set of Kakashi’s gates when the dog indicated Uuhei was getting tired. Iruka formed the seals necessary to transform the dog into a human and wished him safe travels. He was gone a few seconds later.

Iruka added more water, another ration bar and a few tea bags to the pot he’d made for Shiba and heated it for himself. He had a long night ahead of him; maintaining the clones and healing Kakashi was taxing his strength.

Iruka finished the warm beverage and added the used tea leaves to the mortar containing the crushed walnut shells. He poured the dregs of the medicinal mixture he’d fed Kakashi over it and blended them all together. He pulled the battery operated alarm clock from his pack and set it for fifteen minutes. He was somewhat refreshed when the alarm went off to check Kakashi’s vitals.

He gave the man some water and once again searched the medicine cabinets. He pulled out iodine, dried blackberries, bone meal protein, ground mustard, immune system stimulants and vitamin E oil. He added all of the ingredients except the bone meal to the mortar. He mixed them slowly and began adding in the crushed walnuts and tea. He gave Kakashi more water and set the clock for another fifteen minutes and went back to sleep.

Iruka woke up to the unpleasant sensation of carrying his own weight in drooling dog several miles in the snow as his clone disintegrated. He turned off the clock and crushed another nutrition bar along with chakra enhancers, bone meal protein, and immune system stimulants and placed them in a pot of water.

Kakashi’s temperature had dropped enough that Iruka didn’t add any more of the fever reducers or the pain killers that would dull other man’s natural healing ability. While he waited for that to cook he reached into his bag and pulled out several spools of academy issue chakra suppression thread and added them to pot containing Kakahi’s hair.

Unlike the chakra suppressors used on enemies which inhibited chakra production, the chakra suppressors given to teachers were specifically designed to not to interfere with the body’s chakra production but to redirect the energy to other bodily functions.

No one wanted to stunt a child’s growing chakra system; they also didn’t want accidents or injuries caused by an upset child with a large amount of chakra they couldn’t control.
Iruka preferred teaching self-discipline and meditation to unruly students so he’d only used the thread once.

Shibi had been carried back half dead from a mission and spent two weeks in a medically induced coma. During that time seven year old Shino had trouble controlling his kikachu. Iruka had tied a small amount around the boy’s toe to reduce the buzz.

Iruka never imagined he’d be grateful to the bigots of Konoha for demanding a special thread for Naruto. He doubted it would stop the Kyuubi from devouring their children if it managed to break the Fourth’s seal but he was certain if it were used in large enough amounts it should be enough to force a jounin to be still.

Shizune had taught him that hair could be used as a conduit for healing and chakra. Iruka used surgical tweezers to remove the threads and hair and set them on a tray to dry while he cleaned Kakashi’s wounds with the iodine. He hoped if he put a bit of Kakashi’s hair inside the wound it would channel the suppressors used to stitch it towards helping Kakashi to heal faster.

He took several deep breaths before threading the curved needle through the torn flesh and mending upwards. He tied the stitch inside the wound and sealed the skin with healing chakra to mask the injury.

Iruka checked the time. It was 3:30 in the morning. He’d rescued Kakashi shortly before midnight. He needed to hurry and finish the dye if he wanted it to set before he moved him. He opened the pack that contained his mother’s disguise techniques.

She was one of the most powerful kunoichi he’d ever met, but she downplayed that strength in favor of using the tried and true skills of seduction and trickery. She rarely used henges instead favoring to use herbal concoctions to darken, lighten, age, mar or enhance her appearance.

Iruka could almost feel her thumb smacking him on the nose and saying “a ninja’s greatest tool is his brain. Your chakra might fail and you won’t be able to use a flashy jutsu but a sharp mind will always cut your enemy.” He’d used her skin altering technique on several occasions to infiltrate the compounds of the pale and pasty Uchiha and Hyuuga clans but the he’d always had access to convenience store make-up.

This time he had to rely on home made pigment and try to make the compound stick to someone else. Just as he hoped the tea, nut shells, mustard and iodine he’d mixed earlier had turned into a dark brown paste. He knew that paste had to be diluted with acid and mixed with chakra before it could be spread over Kakashi but he had no idea how to make it hold on someone else.

He read through the section of darkening agents and setting the dye before closing the scroll, giving Kakashi more of the fortifying liquid and taking a twenty minute nap. He woke up refreshed and once again read his mother’s instructions. Long term application worked best using the acid that had been enhanced with the wearer’s chakra.

The medicine cabinet had apple cider vinegar, but Kakashi was unconscious and didn’t have any chakra to spare to use to charge the vinegar. If he used his own it would sit on Kakashi’s skin as being unnatural and would be detected by any ninja. It had to be acid enhanced with chakra from Kakashi. With the man out cold there was only one way to get it.

Iruka gave Kakashi more fluids and turned the man onto his stomach. He washed and dried a bedpan before attaching it to the bed beneath the Copy Nin and taking another short nap.

When awoke he checked the bedpan. Changing Kakashi’s position and giving him additional fluid had put enough pressure on his bladder that his body had discarded some dark orange liquid.

“Urine is sterile. It’s only contaminated through contact with the genitals and external bacteria. I poured warm soapy water on Kakashi before removing him from the dungeon. I bathed him again on the beach before putting him in the wetsuit.

“I washed him again when I removed his underwear and sent the ninken away with his scent. Even his own ninken said he’d smelled better. This is the only way I can get his chakra mixed with acid. His kidneys were damaged so there’s also some of his blood mixed in it. The justu will hold. My comrade will be safe.

“Urine is sterile. It can be drank short term as a survival method to prevent dehydration. It can be used as an astringent to kill acne and rashes. Urine is sterile.”

Iruka repeated that mantra convincing himself this was the only way as he spooned the contents of the bedpan and few spoonfuls of the darkening agents into the mortar and pestle until he created a smooth slurry. He combined each of those smaller slurries into a larger pot until he had an even mixture. He placed the pot close to the smokeless fire and washed his hands thoroughly.

He cleaned out the large tub he used during his first visit to the safe house and ran a warm bath. If the disguise was to work properly Iruka couldn’t take any chances on uneven coloring caused by missed dirt. Kakashi would have to be properly cleaned and dried from head to toe.

Iruka never would have imagined his D-rank missions would ever have a practical purpose, but now knew differently. He’d successfully placed an unconscious man his own size in the tub, scrubbed him and his hair, removed him from the tub and dried him all without drowning or dropping him thanks to his team’s extended stint working at the nursing home.

He’d also manicured, pedicured, exfoliated, and moisturized Kakashi to the level of a spoiled civilian. One of his few A rank missions had been to prove a beauty queen wasn’t as womanly as she seemed. If push came to shove he could transform Kakashi from a he to a she with quite a complicated bit of tucking. It was his original plan, but he wouldn’t want to wake up and find particular dangly bits were no longer dangling so shelved the idea.

Now all that remained to be done was to disguise him. He was already being watched and he knew that wouldn’t change. He couldn’t chance any of the Snow or Cloud ninja recognizing a mark they’d placed on Kakashi. He laid his charge on a bed spread eagle and inspected him. Kakashi was all lean muscle, bruises and scars. He made note of which bruises he would heal, which ones he would cover to make them appear older than they were and which ones he would enhance so they appeared fresher.

Cataloguing scars came next. The smallest ones would be dyed along with Kakashi’s skin. All men had scars. The ones that could only have been made with weapons would be dyed first so the lighter skin would blend in with the rest. He wouldn’t touch the scars that were darker. They’d either blend in or appear lighter on his new complexion.

Iruka found a toothbrush and went to work. Kakashi’s eyelashes, eyebrows and nasal hair were dyed first. Then Iruka moved to his pubic area. He dipped the toothbrush in the dye several times to ensure the course hairs were covered evenly before parting his cheeks and dying those hairs as well.

“Hatake Kakashi, you are entirely too sexy to be naked and unconscious. If you weren’t such an ass I’d ask you out when we returned to the village,” Iruka grumbled setting down the toothbrush and picking up the hairbrush and moving to the hairs on Kakashi’s upper head.

Iruka placed the pigment in his hands and rubbed them together before applying it to Kakashi’s face. He’d been unmasked most of the night but this was Iruka’s first time to study him.

His appearance was not what Iruka was expecting. He wasn’t ugly or a great beauty like the rumors suggested. He was surprisingly baby-faced. If Iruka were to see him without the mask he would say he was attractive but nothing to drool over. He quickly covered Kakashi’s face and the rest of his body then took a nap while the dye set.
- 12
- 13
- 14
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Another Perfect Wonder