Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

All For the Sake of Pleasure	By : Kanemoshi Category: Naruto > Yaoi - Male/Male > Kakashi/Iruka Views: 8219 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters and did not make any money from creating this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter Thirteen

Iruka blinked lazily as his fingers gingerly traced along the beautiful face next to him. Shifting so that he was fully on his side, he tucked an arm underneath his head and continued to watch the tiny baby sleep. Dark, long lashes fluttered against chubby cheeks, eyes threatening to open, but after a few moments, he settled back down.

"Mini-Iruka's still sleeping?" Iruka turned at the quiet whisper. Seeing Naruto standing hesitantly at the door, the teacher silently gestured for his brother to come in. The blonde tiptoed across the floor, climbing up onto the bed clumsily. Having one arm in a sling, his hand heavy with splints to properly align his broken bones, it took Naruto a few moments to find a comfortable position that let him peer over Iruka's shoulder to watch the baby sleep. "I think 'Naruto' should definitely be a possible name."

"Because I broke your hand or because you were the first person to cry when he was born?" Iruka joked softly, pressing his head back against his brother's muscular frame. Feeling the soft rumble of the younger man's chest more than hearing his chuckle, Iruka smiled.

"Because Sasuke is too big of a baby to have a child named after him," Naruto stated, feigning seriousness, when in fact a broad grin stretched across his face. The very fact that Sasuke was so moved by the baby's birth that he had actually cried was one that brought no end of amusement to Naruto. The blonde did not seem to care that he too had been weepy for quite some time.

"I have a name for him," Iruka said as he glanced behind himself to look into Naruto's impossibly blue eyes, their bright color informing the teacher that Naruto was moments away from crying again. The blonde blinked a few times, lessening the telling shine, but it returned quickly as Naruto sniffled. Turning back to look at the baby, Iruka studied him. The crop of superfine hair he had was a rich brown and, when his eyes were open, they were the darkest shade of blue – both of which Tsunade said might change in the next few months, but Iruka would not have cared either way. All he had paid attention to was her other comment – that, despite being a few weeks premature, he was a perfectly healthy baby.

"What is it?" Naruto asked as he leaned over Iruka to better see the sleeping newborn, who was already securely in the realm of Naruto's most important people. In fact, there was now a three-way tie between his brother, his lover, and his nephew for who was the most important to him. Smiling, realizing that his brother could not see his devious smirk, he knew he would have a wonderful time teaching Iruka's child all the pranks Iruka had once taught him. It was a wonderful cycle in Naruto's mind.

"I am going to name him Sakumo," Iruka replied after a moment of thought. He did not tell Naruto his reasoning for it or that he had the name picked out for months, if in fact his child was a boy. If it was a girl, he had no idea what he would have named her. Running his finger gently along his son's face, Iruka wondered if Kakashi would appreciate having his child named after his own father.

XXX

"You are a heavy bastard," Pakkun stated simply as he watched Kakashi weave a few times before standing up straight. Though they had been constantly moving for over two days, Kakashi's strength had not yet returned to him. At least he was no longer in excruciating pain, Pakkun realized as he eyed his master. They had stopped on the outskirts of the village, knowing Kakashi's standing order to never drag him into sight of Konoha if he could make it past the gates on his own two feet. Stubborn, proud jounin.

Shaking his head at his master's idiotic command, Pakkun waved Bull away. With a puff of smoke, the massive dog disappeared, leaving just him and Kakashi to walk into the village. Their progression towards the gates was painfully slow, but Pakkun stayed silent. He knew better than to pester Kakashi with questions. If he asked anything before the jounin was ready to answer him, Kakashi would clam up and it would be impossible to get a straight answer.

"It was a seal," Kakashi said softly, slightly out of breath. His words broke the silence, making Pakkun slow down and stare at his master questioningly. "I put a seal on…someone. It drained my chakra, feeding it to her."

"You would do that for a female?" Pakkun asked in honest surprise as kept up with Kakashi's long, but slow strides. He had never pictured his master doing such a thing, period, much less for a woman. But what could have happened to drain Kakashi's chakra to such an extent and so quickly?

"She is pregnant," the jounin said in explanation. "Or she was when I left on the mission. That pain I felt the other day…I'm not so sure she is pregnant now." Pakkun nodded his head, understanding completely. In his attempts to lend his energy to this woman, Kakashi had linked them on far more levels than he had meant to. It was such a close connection that her pain became his own.

Because of his long-term relationship with Kakashi, he could also hear the barest hint of emotion in his voice. To anyone who was not as familiar with Kakashi, they would have said that he sounded aggravated. Pakkun knew it was far from annoyance. The jounin was worried sick. Having never known Kakashi to be concerned to such an extent that he was volunteering information, Pakkun was fascinated and mildly worried himself.

"Are you more worried about the baby or her?" Pakkun asked softly as he watched his master run a hand through his spiked hair. As he lowered his hand, Kakashi let out a sigh that, for the usually deadpan jounin, was ripe with emotion.

"I don't know," Kakashi replied, his natural eye shifting to give Pakkun a quick glance. "She was healthy when I left. A little tired, but otherwise fine. I can't think of a reason she would have gone into labor a month prematurely."

"Why are you taking such an interest in her and her child?" the pug questioned. Kakashi had told him years ago about his injuries that assured he would be the last Hatake. It seemed like the jounin was needlessly torturing himself with that painful fact by watching over this woman and her offspring. To see her through her pregnancy, to protect her, to worry about her – it was as though she meant a great deal to Kakashi.

"She and I were lovers," Kakashi commented, bowing his head in such a way, Pakkun could tell he had more to say. "She told me she was pregnant two months after we slept together. Sh-she said the baby was mine."

Pakkun froze mid-step at those words and the pain laced into them. It had hurt Kakashi enough to admit that he would have no children, but to have someone get his hopes up – even a small bit before he remembered his incapacity – was enough to make Pakkun growl angrily. This woman was toying with his master's emotions and instinctively, the pug found himself hating her for doing such a thing.

"Pakkun." Kakashi's tone, despite revealing his exhaustion, also held a reprimand for his dog's immediate response. "She doesn't know about that," he added softly, his words lessening a little bit of the dog's anger, but not enough for him to hate the woman any less. Though he did not seem it, Kakashi was fragile when it came to dealing with his emotions.

"Then you are pretending to be the father of her child?" Pakkun asked. Fatherhood – it was the only logical reason he could come up with for Kakashi to be acting this way. Looking up to his master, the dog found himself catching Kakashi's lips moving underneath his mask into a pained smile.

"No, she doesn't know I shadow her – or about the seal," Kakashi replied as he shook his head. Pakkun was about to open his mouth and ask why Kakashi was doing all of this for a woman, but the jounin spoke first, his words soft and hesitant. "And I…I don't care if the child isn't mine."

Pakkun blinked several times, unable to believe what he had just heard. For so many years, he had to listen to his master gripe about not being able to father a child. Once the depression and anger had run their course, Pakkun thought demanding that Kakashi take a genin team would be a good way to recover. To take a group of children and train them – to have a team that would maybe fill a part of the hole his old injury left. He had even thought that Team Seven had done just that. Kakashi found friends in his one-time students, opening up to those three more than anyone else other than Pakkun himself. Looking at Kakashi now, however, Pakkun could see that there was still something his master was missing in his life. The next words out of the jounin, ones that the pug knew his master had never uttered before, made Pakkun realize that the man had indeed missed something in his years as a perfect shinobi.

"I love her."

XXX

Iruka eyed the blonde woman before him as she sat down in the chair next to his bed. He thought over what she had said to him and, despite the logic of it, a part of him wanted to vehemently deny such a possibility.

"I know it is…unethical, but it is the only thing I could come up with other than you coming out and telling everyone that you are Sakumo's mother," Tsunade said with a sigh as she leaned back in her chair, watching the baby in her arms. Though exhaustion lined her face, she had still spent the last three days with Iruka, refusing to leave him for more than a few minutes in case there were any unforeseen complications. Now that she was no longer worried for the teacher's life, the other problems just started to pile up. The first and foremost question in her mind, as well as those of the two young jounin who finally fell asleep a few minutes ago after a hectic night of babysitting so that Iruka could rest, was how to explain Sakumo.

Many people knew "Keiko" had been pregnant and even more had assumed that Iruka's sudden disappearance had something to do with a mission. What would they think when Keiko disappeared, Iruka returned, and there was a baby that looked like a miniature of the academy teacher? The physical similarities between Iruka and Sakumo could be easily explained – Iruka was a genius when he started the lie that Keiko was his cousin – but what about the other questions?

How long would it be before people questioned what happened to Sakumo's father? Why was that mystery man not taking care of "Keiko's" baby? Who was he? What about when Sakumo started getting older, acting and looking more like Iruka than their relationship as "cousins" could explain? What would happen then?

"You're suggesting I fake my own death – well, Keiko's…then pretend like I adopted Sakumo," Iruka grumbled softly as he shifted onto his side so he could watch his son comfortably rest in the Hokage's capable arms. "What are we supposed to do, hold a funeral for her?"

"It would make things easier," Tsunade replied as she shifted her arms so that the baby was cradled against her massive chest. Though she had no children of her own – a fact that had once pained her to admit, but now was an accepted part of her life – she had a way with infants. Despite the fact Naruto and Sasuke had taken it upon themselves to take care of the baby while they let Iruka sleep, there was only so much the two young men could do. She had to teach them how to hold a child, how to feed him, and perhaps the most amusing part of her day was when she tried to give them a lesson in diaper changing. "You can take off a month or two from the academy to rest – everyone will assume you are mourning her and getting adjusted to raising a baby. Sakumo won't have to grow up being looked at strangely because people know you are his mother…"

"Father," Iruka corrected under his breath, but for the time being, he was not going to argue with the woman. It truly did not matter to him what Sakumo called him. He was his son's only parent; titles were the least of his worries. He knew Tsunade was right. Though Konoha was one of the more liberal hidden villages, most people were not accepting of things they could not understand. Naruto was a prime example of that. Then there was Sasuke, who many villagers still treated as a pariah if they were aware of his murky past. Old students of his who had turned out gay – people responded to them in many ways. Begrudging acceptance all the way to disowning their children was the kind of spectrum those young adults had to deal with. How would those same people treat a beautiful little boy who just happened to have two fathers instead of a father and a mother?

Iruka refused to let Sakumo live like Naruto had so many years ago – growing accustomed to the fear, disgust, and hatred that was openly shown towards him. No, for his son's sake he would do anything.

"A small funeral – just Naruto, Sasuke, and you," he conceded softly as he watched his son sleep. Though he knew he was doing this for all the right reasons, Iruka could not shake the feeling that agreeing with Tsunade was the wrong thing to do.

XXX

Pakkun had to give it to his master – stubbornness was certainly one of Kakashi's defining characteristics. Even though they passed the village gates several minutes ago, the jounin continued to limp down the streets dusted in a fine layer of snow. Rolling his eyes at the silver-haired man, the pug finally sat back on his haunches and waited for Kakashi to realize he was walking alone.

It took the jounin several steps before he turned back to look at the dog questioningly. Kakashi did not speak…he hadn't said a single word after that astonishing declaration of his. Pakun hated to admit it, but he was starting to miss his master's perverse comments and stupid giggling that had always grated on his nerves. This new side of the jounin – quiet, somber, and entirely unlike Kakashi – was disconcerting.

"You need to rest before you go do anything," Pakkun stated rationally. Knowing Kakashi and his one-track mind, the jounin had been planning on going in search of this woman of his despite the fact he could hardly stand from pain and exhaustion.

The man shifted, opening his mouth underneath the dark material of his mask, but any attempts of speaking were halted when his natural eye shifted from Pakkun to something behind the dog. With his sense of smell, the pug did not have to turn to know that a person even more annoying than his master was approaching.

"My Rival!" At this, Pakkun could not help but turn. Never before in all the years Kakashi and Gai had been friends had the Green Beast of Konoha spoken in such a tone. If he had to describe it, Pakkun would have called it mournful. But that did not make sense – Gai did not mourn things…well, he did, but he did so in a comical way while spurting something or other about youth. This time, his tone held a seriousness Pakkun never realized the spandex-clad jounin was capable of.

"Gai?" Kakashi's voice was hoarse. Shifting so that he could glance back and forth between the two men, Pakkun could only wonder what had happened to make Gai forget about his customary challenge with Kakashi.

"You just returned from your mission?"

Had the man's voice not held a somber tone, Pakkun would have dropped his jaw. For once, Gai was not speaking in exclamations and metaphors! He glanced back over at his master, seeing the same surprise in Kakashi's visible eye. The silver-haired jounin nodded his head. From the tightness in his jaw that Pakkun could see, Kakashi was already fighting to keep himself conscious long enough for Gai to explain himself.

"Then you have not heard yet." Gai seemed to be mumbling for his own benefit, but he was loud enough for both Pakkun and Kakashi to hear. "A most youthful flower has passed."

Though there was a small bit of his normal speech in that statement, the sadness behind those words was something that made Pakkun realize that something was very, very wrong.

"Umino Keiko went into labor the other night. There were some complications – Tsunade-sama did her best…but…"

Pakkun cocked his head to the side, recalling that surname. Picturing the kind academy teacher that Naruto had a close relationship with, the pug wondered if he should know a woman with the same last name. Glancing over to his master, his jaw dropped as the rest of Gai's words continued to filter into his ears.

"She…died early this morning."

Labor…other night. It did not take Pakkun more than a split second to put the pieces together. Not only did Gai's words match up to show him another side of the story Kakashi had told him, but the look on his master's face told him everything he needed to know.

Kakashi did not say anything to Gai's comment – he could not have even if he tried. His throat was too constricted for a single sound to escape. His stomach tightened nauseously, the backs of his eyes burned, but perhaps the worst pain was that in his chest. Had he not known any better, he would have been certain that his very heart had stopped as soon as Gai's words had reached his ears.

Perhaps for a moment it had, because Kakashi lost all feeling in his body mere moments before everything went black.

XXX

Slowly, Kakashi came to, only to focus his gaze on the worried face of his most loyal dog. Pakkun moved back as the jounin pushed himself up into a sitting position, but refrained from speaking until the man finally looked at him curiously, as though asking what had happened.

"You passed out – I told you that you had to rest," Pakkun said softly as he sat down on the soft bed, watching his master with concern. He was not sure how to break the news to Kakashi. The jounin had been out for four days – and if he had not woken up when he had, Pakkun would have been transporting the stubborn man over to the Hokage to see if there was anything seriously wrong with him. Almost as soon as the pug thought such a thing, he inwardly cringed. Of course there was something wrong with Kakashi. He had found out that the woman he had so boldly declared love for had died.

"I-It's my fault…" Kakashi said quietly, bowing his head and refusing to look at Pakkun until the dog squirmed onto his lap, nudging the man's chin with his wet nose. Fully expecting to be thrown from the bed in one of Kakashi's fits of anger, Pakkun was understandably amazed when he felt the jounin's powerful arms wrap around him and that strong body sag against him.

A stab of sympathy hit Pakkun when he felt the man's chest shudder against him. Never before had he wished to have less sensitive hearing, but at the moment, Pakkun envied the deaf. They would never have to know how painful and heart-wrenching it was to hear a jounin cry.

Kakashi clung to the small dog in his lap, unable to do anything else other than sob against Pakkun's soft fur. He did not state his thoughts out loud – he didn't have to. He and Pakkun had been together long enough that the dog would know exactly what was going through his mind.

He should have never left on his mission. He should have stayed in the village, where he could be near her. He should have better protected her – put a stronger seal on her. He should have accomplished his mission earlier – moved quicker, found his informants sooner. He should have run faster once he finished. He should have begged Gai or someone else to take the mission.

He should have never told her to get rid of her baby. He should have told her why he knew the baby was not his. He should have wanted her and her child from the beginning. He should have been there for her, to hold her, to comfort her. He should have been there for her doctor visits…for when she went into labor…for when she passed away.

He should have told her he loved her.

That one was the worst regret of all. For the first time in his life, he had felt something for someone else other than lust and he had thrown it all away because he was too damn stubborn. He was too proud, too detached, and because of that, he had lost his chance.

Had he told her how he felt about her, would she still be alive? Could he have done something more to protect her – or save her – if he had been a part of her life?

Why did hindsight have to be 20/20?

Unwilling to answer those questions, Kakashi instead pressed his forehead against Pakkun's fur, inhaling deeply. The pain of losing her was still raw, but he had learned a long time ago how to ignore his emotions. It made life possible and that ability was now the only thing that saved him from the depression that loomed over him. In its place, he busied himself with thinking about what he should do now.
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All For the Sake of Pleasure