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Koiuta	By : dragonslover1 Category: Naruto > Het - Male/Female Views: 1149 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Disclaimer: I own nothing of Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does. I am not profiting from this fanfiction.

Koiuta, Love Song

Eleven Stubborn Bugs

�Eleven?� Tasha echoed.

Almost as soon as she�d resettled in, Shino had gone to report to Tsunade. She almost passed by Shibi as walked along the now-familiar corridors, who stopped her in her tracks.

�Tasha?� was what made her pause.

How odd that she nearly didn�t recognize him. She was going to greet him, but something about his aura held her back.

�Yeah?� she answered, wondering about it.

And then he informed her that he could sense Shino�s bugs in her -- eleven of them.

Eleven.

�Yes,� he agreed.

�What -- why didn�t Shino tell me this? And why the hell can�t I feel them?� The last part she demanded of her own body.

�Shino has a lot of insects. He probably didn�t notice.� He was just standing there, staring.

The small bit of his expression she could see was worried. �But you can,� she half-asked.

�I can -- but I�m unique in that sense.� He shook his head. �What were you two up to the whole time?� When her face started to flame, he just shook his head again, bowing it. He rubbed his forehead. �This is exactly what we were trying to avoid.�

�Well, what do you want us to do about it now?� she asked.

�Stop fucking!� he exploded. The few people within earshot stopped dead.

She jumped. For some reason, being snapped at by him was a harsh, heavy shock. It hurt. �It. . .it�s not like we�re all over each other all the time,� she tried, finding her voice was tiny and weak in comparison to his.

And it occurred to her that she was still, essentially, a stranger to Shibi. She could only imagine what Shino was going to go through when his father catches him, if this was how Shibi spoke to temporary residents.

She looked away, beside herself with guilt. After a few moments, she heard him sigh.

�I�m sorry,� he started, �I didn�t mean to snap. But you can imagine this is frustrating for me. Shino loves you, Tasha, more than I think you realize. When you were gone, he was in a constant panic. If it turned out that his bugs killed you. . .I couldn�t begin to imagine what that would do to him.� He lifted her chin so she would look at him -- wasted effort on his part, in her opinion. �If nothing else, can�t you use restraint for him?�

She narrowed her eyes, jerked back. Anger was coursing through her now, making her heart race. �Don�t you dare. Don�t you dare make it sound like I�m using him, like he�s a convenience.� She took a deep breath, trying to calm the way her heart was beating. �I know the weight of this more than anyone else, it�s my life at stake! That�s exactly why I left in the first place! If I cared nothing for him, why would I come back, why would I keep risking my life just to be with him?!�

He looked taken aback. The realization caught her attention, telling her that she was getting better at reading people. He said, �I asked Shino many times why he was bothering with you. You know what he told me? �I love her, father. I need her.� I haven�t heard such a confession from you. What am I supposed to think, knowing that?�

It hit her that the two of them were battling each other�s thoughts more than anything else.

�I don�t see a need to confess to you,� she countered. �But if it�ll put your mind at ease, yes. I do love Shino. If you can�t take my word for it, then when he gets back, you can ask him. Then would you give me the benefit of the doubt?� She crossed her arms.

And then it occurred to her that she wanted Shibi�s acceptance. She saw, more than once, the way Shibi and Shino were together. She�d never had that relationship with her father. But she wanted one just like it.

�Alright. I�ll ask him.� He lifted his chin.

She turned, saw Shino approaching. Even from a long distance, she recognized him. And she could tell he was appraising the situation.

When he reached her, he looped an arm around her waist. To his father, he said, �What�s this about?�

�Has Tasha ever told you she loves you?� Shibi asked, straight to the point.

Shino glanced down at her.

She shrugged. �I told him as much.�

When he looked back up again, he said, �Yes, she has. Once again, what�s this about?�

�Eleven bugs,� Shibi answered.

Shino seemed to freeze in place. After a long moment, he said, �I was watching them.�

�Not enough.�

�I had them under control.�

�Denying the situation isn�t going to change it.�

�Do we have any solutions yet?�

�Nothing with more than a twenty-percent success chance.�

Shino dropped his head and swore under his breath. It was the first time she�d heard him curse, and it seemed to solidify the importance of the circumstances. She closed her eyes, leaned into him.

It was silly, because he was the center of the problem, but she needed his support as she thought. There had to be a solution, something that would fix this forever. . . In the back of her mind, she could hear that father and son were speaking, though she wasn�t paying attention to the conversation.

There had to be a way. Think, think, she told herself. You know the whole problem. Shino�s probably telling Shibi about it right now. The bugs can kill me, the bugs are drawn by the chakra jewel. So, remove the jewel. But to remove it would kill me. There must be other options. . .

�. . .couldn�t do it that way,� Shino was saying, disagreeing. �Taking out the jewel would kill her.�

�Then what do you suggest?� Shibi countered.

It was odd, but she seemed to be one step ahead of the conversation despite the fact that she wasn�t listening.

Crystallized chakra, she was thinking now. The jewel is just crystallized chakra. Two hundred years� worth. It�s bonded to my chakra, so naturally taking it out would kill me. What else can I do with it? I could. . . Wait, would the bugs be less drawn towards less chakra? Could I. . ?

Her thoughts trailed off, then became words. �Drain the jewel,� she concluded.

Both men were watching her now. She stepped away from Shino, paced a few steps. As she did so, she was agreeing with herself.

�It could work.� She nodded. �All chakra is meant to be used anyway. That�s what the jewel was for. Even a lot of chakra is still limited to its store.� She faced them, looked at Shino. �Drain the jewel, completely. Then there won�t be any need for your insects to have it.�

�How do you suggest we do that?� Shino asked. His tone said he didn�t like this idea.

�Your bugs love it so much,� Shibi started, following her train of thought, �let them have it.�

Shino turned towards his father in a sharp move. �No. I�m not about to put her into more danger.�

�The only other way,� she disagreed, �would be for me to train for days on end, past exhaustion. And there�s no guarantee it�d work.�

�There�s no guarantee it�d work the other way,� Shino countered. He glanced between her and Shibi. �Don�t gang up on me,� he said to them both.

She frowned. �It can�t be a bad idea if Shibi agrees with it.�

Shibi nodded. Shino fumed.

�Neither of you understand how hard it is to control the bugs!� he snapped.

�You seemed to have a lot of confidence yesterday,� she pointed out. �Or was that until you realized you don�t have as much control as you thought?�

He slammed his fist into the wall to his right. �I won�t keep endangering you like this!�

�If it works,� Shibi started calmly, �this would be the last time she�s in any danger.�

�This plan could kill her!� Shino roared. He turned to her, adding, �No. We�ll just keep apart until there�s a better idea.�

She gave him a pitying look. �Like that worked out so well last time?�

Working together like this, she and Shibi were backing Shino into a corner -- with logic as the weapon. They were right. Shino was only fighting because he didn�t want to admit it.

�Your plan is to delay the inevitable,� Shibi told him. �Our plan is to solve the problem permanently.�

Shino looked like he couldn�t believe he was losing the argument. In desperation, he started grasping at straws. �There�s still a lot of danger. . .�

�We�ll take precautions,� Shibi promised. �I�ll gather five of us to keep watch, make sure nothing goes wrong.�

�It�ll feel very strange,� Shino was saying to her. The crease in his brow showed his worry. �It might hurt.�

She hooked her thumb at herself. �Kunoichi.�

�A lot,� he finished.

She put her hand on his arm, then looked at Shibi. �Let us talk for a while.�

Though Shibi�s head only moved in miniscule amounts, she could tell he was looking between Shino and her. At length, he said, �Think you can convince him?�

Shino�s face was hard. But she said, �We�re going to find out.�

Where they were now, Shino�s room was closer. They headed there. Once the door shut, he rounded on her.

She half expected him to kiss her, but then, she was engrossed in nostalgia at the moment.

�There�s no way I�m going to agree to this,� he snapped.

�Really?� She sat down. �Everybody else seems to think it�s a grand idea.�

�It�s not.� He knelt in front of her, resting on his toes but still as tall as she was, sitting. He pushed back his hood, took off the glasses, put them aside. �How can you agree to this when your life is at stake?�

�Because,� she answered, �the other option is to leave you. And I don�t see that course of action working out too well for either of us.�

He shook his head. �How can you be so calm?�

�I know my options. It�s a. . .thing I grew up doing a lot.� She tried not to think about her past, instead focusing on the future. She leaned forward, linking her arms around his neck. �The way I figure it, I have three choices. First is leaving, forever.� Her heart gave a painful throb at that. �Two, do as you said, wait for another option to present itself. And maybe die as we wait. Or three, let your bugs drain the chakra from my jewel. Instant, permanent solution.�

�The third option could kill you, too,� he countered, voice quiet.

�So could the first. Eleven bugs, remember?� She glanced down, caught the glimmer of her pendant on her chest. It seemed so appropriate now, as she thought about it. Like any one of the insects in the cages, she was caught by him. The only difference was that he had no intention of letting her go.

She smiled wryly at it, lifting it with two fingers. �What are the chances of me adapting to the bugs� presence in my body? Five, ten, maybe fifteen percent?� When she glanced up, his mouth was set in a grim line.

The answer he gave was difficult for him. �Three.�

�So, option A would kill me. Option B is a form of option A and would also kill me. But only option C gives me a chance to live -- a real chance. What would you choose, in my place?� She lifted the pendant higher, pressed it to her lips. �Besides, I really like the idea of being a butterfly in one of your cages.�

The analogy appeared to have stunned him. �Tasha,� he started, only to break off. He leaned closer.

She drew back, stopping him with two fingers on his mouth. �Let�s not start this all over again.�

He smiled against her fingers, though it didn�t quite reach his eyes. He caught her wrist and kissed each of her fingers instead. �Alright,� he agreed at last. �You convinced me. But I still can�t stress enough how dangerous this is.�

�If it helps, I didn�t exactly try to figure out all the details,� she told him. �What I�ve figured out so far, yeah, it kinda grosses me out.�

The corner of his mouth twitched. �Depending on how much chakra that jewel has, it might take all of my bugs to drain it.�

�How much can any one of them hold?�

�Not too much -- enough.�

�How many do you have?�

He hesitated. �I don�t think you want to know that.�

�Why not?�

�They�ll have to go inside you to drain the chakra. And you�ll have to be focusing on maintaining a stream of chakra from the jewel -- the distinction is important.�

She raised a brow. �Because if they start draining me, I�m dead. Alright then, I can do that,� she nodded.

�This is important,� he said again, more sharply. He was holding her arms in tight grips.

�Yeah, I got that. I promise.� She was surprised at him, at how worried he was. She just didn�t see a problem with this plan; it sounded flawless. She focuses on releasing the jewel�s chakra to draw the bugs -- which would be inside her -- �Wait, how would they get inside me?�

He paused before answering. �Burrow through your skin.�

She cringed, covered her mouth. She�d never had anything burrow through her skin before, and she wasn�t too excited about the prospect of it happening. Still, she wanted to know the details before the thing started. If it meant she could live with Shino forever, she�d endure it.

She was surprised when he seemed to agree with her apathetic attitude. �It�s not the best feeling.�

She raised her brows. �And here I was worried you�d get offended.�

He gave her a wry smile. �At having my skin eaten through for the bugs to get in and out?�

�Eaten?� she echoed.

That smile disappeared. �I shouldn�t have said that.�

�No -- tell me,� she pressed. �I don�t want any surprises.�

�You�re sure about that?� He was skeptical.

She nodded. �And you never did tell me how many insects you have.�

�Including the cages and you, my personal butterfly?� he teased.

Her cheeks flushed. Against her will, her hands covered her mouth and nose, suddenly very embarrassed. Sure, she�d made the joke about being a butterfly in his cage, but this was different.

It was the first time she�d been given a nickname like that -- a beloved name from a lover.

And, it seemed, Shino was in a playful mood. He went on with the tease, �Why, Tasha, are you blushing?�

That only made it worse. Where was her boldness from last week? From the entire walk back? She had been so confident on the road; what had changed? That this was Shino�s room? Or was it wholly the nickname? Or -- was it the fact that he�d said �my personal butterfly?�

That possessive distinction might have been the culprit.

�Yes, I�m blushing,� she admitted. �It�s your fault.�

As always, he kept up with her train of thought flawlessly. �Butterfly?�

She bit her lips, though he couldn�t see it from behind her hands. She trained her eyes on his desk to her left.

�Well,� he began, sober now, �you wanted me to tell you all about it.� He got up to sit beside her, an arm around her. �I�ll start at the beginning. How do you feel about bugs on your skin?�

�Weird, but otherwise alright,� she answered. �That�s important?�

�Incredibly so.�

�I don�t get it.�

�Imagine that feeling on the inside. Then multiply it.�

She went very still. �So that�s in my future, huh?� She glanced up at him. �Do you feel that, all the time?�

He shrugged. �Most of the time they�re still. In training or in battle, when I use them, they move. And they sometimes go about laying eggs or looking for new places to drink chakra. I once thought it was like pregnancy for women, but on a much smaller scale, with thousands of babies.�

Her imagination wasn�t bringing up that one, and she was glad of it. �So -- you have thousands?�

�Closer to half a million.�

Her eyes widened. �How. . ?�

�I�m a big guy, remember?� His arm tightened in a miniature hug. �There�s room to spare.�

�But they -- I mean, if they eat, then. . .�

�I don�t think you really want to know all the machinations.�

She glared. �I asked, didn�t I?�

�Not technically.� She wasn�t amused, but clearly he was. �Any droppings or dead are eaten by the bugs or white blood cells. Usually within seconds.�

�Sounds horribly unsanitary,� she commented, looking away.

�Think of it this way: I�m still big and strong. So it can�t be deadly.�

�It is to outsiders,� she pointed out.

�That�s because it�s a pact we all sign in blood upon birth.�

She glanced sideways at him. �Makes me wonder if any of your clan regret that they never had a choice.�

�It�s hard to regret when it�s the only way you know how to live.� The way he said it had a wistful note, as though he had regretted it on occasion.

She leaned into him. �Still would be nice, I think, if everyone had a choice.�

�If everyone had a choice,� he countered, �very few would survive the adaptation. And don�t sound so sad, Tasha. We don�t endanger newborns and the parents decide whether or not the baby will be given bugs.�

�Then there�s people in the clan who don�t have them?�

�It�s about fifty-fifty. If the baby is born weak or injured, naturally he�s spared. Generally girls don�t get any, either, because most mothers don�t want a ninja�s life for her daughter.�

�Makes sense.� She paused. �I wish my mother would�ve made that choice.�

He went very quiet, very still. She knew him well enough by now to know she�d disturbed him, and he was thinking hard about what to say.

So she beat him to the punch, throwing her arms around him. �Don�t worry. I don�t regret my life. It led me to you, after all.�

He didn�t look convinced, holding her with both arms now. �I suppose we both have things we wished had been done differently.�

She glanced away. �Some more than others,� she agreed. �But I, for one, don�t look back and yearn. If I were that weak, I wouldn�t have ever left Iwagakure.�

He hugged her closer. �I�m sorry,� he started. �We got off-topic and now we�re both solemn. Allow me to continue?�

She nodded.

�It�s going to be very uncomfortable for you. I�ll do my best to make it easy for you, but I doubt it�ll do much. Your jewel -- the chakra is sent along the normal paths, correct?� At her agreement, he went on. �Then they can be spread through your body to get it. I�ll keep them focused on that chakra, though it won�t take much from me. Your part is just to keep that chakra flowing. It won�t be easy -- they�ll be moving a lot, in all likelihood, searching for more.

�And once there, I might not be able to recall any of them until it�s over. There�s a chance they�ll all go to you.�

She shuddered hard this time. Half a million, in her? Oh sure, for Shino it was no problem. But she was tiny, compared to him. She could argue all she wanted with herself, about a kunoichi�s body being fit and thus not skinny, about how she was 170 centimeters tall; it didn�t help.

�Sorry,� he apologized. �It was your idea, remember? You had to convince me to agree to it.�

�I remember,� she said, a note of hysteria in her voice. �But it was a lot easier to be calm about it before I knew that half a million bugs were going to be crawling around inside me.� She tried to fight off a disgusted face, finding it to be futile.

�For a while, you wanted to be infected with them,� he pointed out.

�I like this plan better. Less permanency.� She glanced at him. �And the crawling alone doesn�t drive you nuts?�

He inclined his head, as though reluctant to answer. �It can get frustrating,� he admitted, �when I�m tired. All that movement can really charge me with energy. That�s another reason for the sunglasses, too. Dark circles from sleepless nights.�

�Right, well, I�m thoroughly disturbed. No offense,� she added.

�None taken.�

She took a deep breath, calming herself. �Keep going.�

He was silent a moment. �I don�t know how long this might take. I haven�t the slightest idea how much chakra is in that jewel. You said it was two hundred years� worth?�

�Around there. I imagine my ancestors needed to use that chakra on occasion. And I�m sure some of them had more excess chakra than others.�

�And you?�

�Me?�

�How much chakra do you have?�

�Plenty. This is important?�

�Everything is important. In this case, the more chakra you have, the less danger there is.�

She thought about that, connected the dots. She had to agree with him, too. If the bugs were draining her chakra as well as the jewel�s, then the more chakra she had, the better.

With this in mind, she tried to answer him more fully. �Have you ever seen any of my justu?�

He nodded. �You were training in the field, using that wind trail of yours.�

She narrowed her eyes as she thought. �Oh, I remember that. Good example. I can use that, safely, for ten seconds. Beyond that and it starts getting dangerous.�

�Dangerous how?�

She bit her lip, wondering how to explain. Most everything she knew about her jewel was linked directly to instinct, inexplicable but corporeal all the same. �The way the jewel works, it�s kind of a failsafe. If my chakra starts getting low, it takes over. Harder to use, naturally, but still there.�

�And draining it isn�t a problem?�

�No. But my point is, that wind trail could probably keep going for another three or four seconds before I hit exhaustion. You get it?�

�I got it,� he nodded. �Do you know how much chakra is in the jewel?�

�Probably enough to fill me up to the top. Maybe more.�

For half a second, he looked amused by her analogy, and then he grew serious once more. �So either way, I�ll have to pretty much drain you in whole.�

She gave a low whistle, her mind coming up with other ways of draining her. �Only in the chakra sense. You�ve drained me in other ways plenty of times.�

He groaned outright, turning his face away. �Tasha,� he said, a warning.

She rolled her eyes. �Don�t be mad at me for telling the truth.�

�I�m annoyed with you for bringing it up.�

�What, can�t handle the images that come rushing back?� She gasped right after the words escaped, because abruptly she was caught in a hold -- one arm around her waist, the other hand fully covering her breast.

�No,� he answered. �But neither can you, I bet.�

He was right. Heat was spreading through every facet of her already, and he was hardly being intimate. Well, in comparison to the intimacy they usually shared, this was mild. She put her hand over his, memories and urges resurfacing.

And then an image of Shibi came to mind and she bit her lip. �Your father wouldn�t approve of this.�

�Does he need to know?� Shino countered.

�He�s gonna know -- if I meet him later with twelve bugs.�

Clearly he wasn�t happy with the thought of restraint, but he drew back all the same. �You should go back to your room. I�m not sure how much longer I could keep myself away from you.�

She licked her upper lip as she thought. She wanted to make the argument that, hell, they could probably get away with another lovemaking session without Shibi knowing. But those thoughts weren�t going to help anything. Reluctant, she nodded and rose.

�If Shibi asks you, I�m ready for this whenever everybody else is, too.�

Shino nodded his agreement, though she imagined he didn�t trust his voice -- least of all his hands. The walk back to her room seemed impossibly long, but she made it. And then she threw herself on the familiar bed and yelled incoherent sentences into the pillow.

It was so frustrating, to want him and be unable to have him. She couldn�t wait for this whole affair to be over with.
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Koiuta